Midlife BFF & Underboob Sweat (I Know You Know!)

Jun 22

Show Notes

Looking for a new midlife bestie that you can bond with over under-boob sweat? Feeling lost or unfulfilled in midlife and looking for something new to scratch those “itchies”? Looking for midlife inspiration with the most relatable content that will make you continuously say “Omg.. me too…”? Are you looking for a sign to say YES to that idea in the back of your mind? Ready to embrace the changes unfolding in midlife?

Then this episode is for you!

Join me, Dr. Sarah Milken, in an open and honest conversation called “Midlife BFF & Underboob Sweat (I Know You Know!)”. My guest, Mandy Brooke is a multifaceted entertainer, singer, songwriter, and hilarious social media sensation with millions of views across platforms. We talked about our experiences and insights on living life to the fullest and being the main character of our own lives. We cover everything from spiritual practices to the importance of embracing change in midlife. This episode will inspire you to say yes to new experiences and normalize midlife self-reinvention journeys through humor and passion.

Some Highlights:

Having fun is just as important as discipline and self-care
Remember, we are all just winging it!
Embrace change, you may never even imagine the amazing things it will bring you
You can be heartbroken one day and inspiring thousands of people the next
Everyone’s path is different, turn envy into inspiration!
Listen to your inner voice
Be authentic in your endeavors, and do things that make YOU feel good, not what you think will make others happy
Sit, show up, and listen!
Don’t let self-doubt get in the way of your dreams

Connect with Mandy:

Mandy’s Favorites:

Follow The Flexible Neurotic:

Full chat (transcript)

I have such a cool guest. She's a multifaceted entertainer, singer, songwriter, and one of the most hilarious social media influencers. She is a social media sensation with millions of views across platforms with her hilarious song parodies and everyday relatable content. She inspires women to be their most authentic selves. She's been on Today with Hoda & Jenna twice.

She might be our new BFF. She could be the new midlife underboob sweaty bestie. Do you know that energy you feel when someone has that relatable oh-my-God energy of, “Me, too?” This is that guest. Her name is Mandy Brooke. Mandy, I'm so excited you're here. I know people are like, “I know her from Instagram. I know her from TikTok.” You're the amazing woman who, a lot of the time, is sitting in her car, singing these relatable, insane songs that we can all relate to.

It has been my life's work.

I can't even imagine how you're like, “I grew up being a professional songwriter in Nashville. Now, I'm the titty committee under boob sweat maestra.” I don't even know.

We take it where we can get it, right?

Totally. You found your niche. Your message from my perspective is that we must revise the narrative on aging, love, and being who you want to be at any age and doing it with grace and humor, which you do.

Thank you so much. That's exactly what I want to put out to the world, so I'm so glad that you're saying that.

My kids are like, “What are you listening to again?” My daughter, she goes, “You’ve played that five times. Have you heard of earphones?” I’m like, “Yes. I’m trying to get it down.”

You're trying to make your kids fans. It's cool.

I'm like, “I listen to your bullshit TikToks all day long.” The funniest thing is they send me stuff but I don't understand it. They're like, “You don't get the meme?” I'm like, “No, I don't get the fucking meme that you sent me. I need a full explanation.”

It’s Gen Z humor. Are your kids Gen Z?

Yeah. My son's 18 and my daughter's 16. I don't know what they are.

I don't know what is below them.

Annoying is what they are and mean.

Were Millennials that mean?

I know. They're good mean though. They can roll with the punches of their mom having a midlife vagina reinvention show while they're in high school. They're pretty cool, I have to say because it could be torture.

I was doing a little bit of research. You said on your website that your son gave you a couple of hundred dollars that he saved so you can make your own office. That's so sweet.

When he was 9 or 11, he was like, “I know you're a doctor. I don't understand what kind of doctor.” It's not like I'm a foot doctor or a stomach doctor. PhD is very hard for kids to understand. He is like, “You help me a lot with a lot of my stuff. I feel like you should have your own office with your name on it so that you can help other people.” Here he is at eighteen and I'm like, “I'm helping all these people reinvent themselves, reinvent their midlife vaginas, and get their shit together. Look at what I'm doing.” He's like, “When does college start? It's in September. Do you think I could get there on August 1st?” Poor guy.

He will grow to understand you as a human being and not just a mother very soon.

Between my daughter and me, he's going to be the best boyfriend and the best husband because we make him do shit. This is when I got my period on a normal regular basis. I was like, “When you're in the market, there are these things called tampons. Text me photos.” He's like, “Are you fucking crazy?” I'm like, “No. We're doing it.”

In this episode, we're going to dig deep with our golden shit shovels in a conversation that's going to help normalize and inspire our midlife titty underboob sweat, midlife self-reinvention journeys, and what I'm calling the midlife remix through humor, passion, and relatability. I know you're all about being the main character of your own life and that you only live fucking once, right?

Absolutely. You have to live once unless you have many past lives, which I have.

Is it a cat?

Yeah. I've had so many past lives, but they were all in service of this one. I feel like this is the life that I'm going to grab by the balls and go for it.

Who doesn't want to grab it by the balls?

A lot of people. A lot of people are scared. I was once that person, too. I was very scared and terrified. Your show, my account, and everything is giving people more confidence to go after their dreams. That's what I'm all about. I want to buy our confidence.

I didn't even have Instagram. I had never been on Facebook. I always talk about this, not because I keep forgetting that I'm talking about this. I know that I'm talking about it over and over. I know sometimes I'm repeating myself according to my children, but it's only to say that you're never too old to do something. Maybe not skateboarding, some crazy shit, or pole dancing, but in terms of regular life, I feel like, “Why not?”

I ask myself the question, “Am I going to die if I fail at this? No. I might die of embarrassment in my own head.” We all think that so many people are watching us and everyone has all this stuff to say. They might say a few things. 1) Who cares? 2) They probably want to be doing stuff, too, but they're not doing it. We all have our own fears.

You're not going to die trying something unless you want to skydive without a safety net, but you are going to get eaten away by the regret when you're 85 years old. You're like, “I should have done that.” I don't want to be sitting there and regretting what I didn't do.

“You’re not going to die trying something unless you want to skydive without a safety net. You are going to get eaten away by regret when you’re 85 years old and you’re like, “I should have done that.”

You've been a performer your whole life. What's your thing? What are you trying to do with your platform and your Mandy Brooke official self?

Honestly, I'm figuring that out every single day. I want to inspire women to be their most authentic selves and confident to get out there and do what they want to do. I'm also learning myself in front of thousands of people. It's the scariest thing I've ever done. I feel like I'm coming into this time in my life where I'm redefining my feminine energy and my identity completely. I'm going to live my life and give advice where I can and hopefully, bring people along for the ride.

I love that because when you show people that you're sweating, they're sweating. When you're stressing, they're stressing. The relatability factor is such a big piece of all this. We all look different and we all have different lives, but at the end of the day, we are all humans living here in this human experience. We’re trying to do the best we can and maybe have a little bit of fun. A lot of us have forgotten how to have fun. I feel like part of your platform is outside of the box, funny, and risqué. That's why it appeals to me. I'm like, “She's saying what I'm thinking.” A lot of people have that feeling of, “I wish I could say that. Now, I get to watch Mandy do it.”

I don't observe how people see me very much. I have this freedom that if I were concerned about how people were perceiving me, I probably wouldn't post the things that I post.

My daughter especially, she'll send me a text and be like, “Do you know how embarrassing that story is that you posted? Do you have embarrassment for yourself?” She's being funny but serious at the same time. She's like, “That workout move was not even attractive or in the right form.” I'm thinking to myself, “I'm a human being like everyone else. I'm not trying to pretend that I'm the perfect workout master. I'm a clusterfuck mess like the rest of us.”

I'm working out because every doctor told me to. I'm working out because every guest is like, “Do the dumb weights. You need it for your cognitive health. You need it for your physical health.” I'm like, “I'm lifting the dumb weights. I'm trying to drink the fucking water. I got to pee all the time. I'm trying to eat more vegetables and eat more fiber.” The list is so long. I get to three things and then it's the next day. I'm like, “I only did three of them.” With your platform and mine, too, it's saying, “We're all doing the best we can. Chip off the piece you can do and move the fuck on. We can't do it all, all the time.”

We're all fucking winging it, honestly. That's one thing that I've realized in my adult life. I'm in my very early 30s. I'm trying to figure it all out. I realize that I'm looking around at all of these adults that I look up to, idols, and people that I love. We're all fucking winging it. We have no idea what the fuck we're doing. It gave me so much confidence, but at the same time, so much terror. I was like, “Nobody knows the rules.”

Nobody knows anything except for Google, and Google's wrong half the time, too. I'll go to the doctor and he's like, “You didn't find that on Google, did you?” I'm like, “I did.”

Google tells us the truth that they want us to know.

It could be multiple truths. In September 2022, you were on a podcast saying, “Four months ago, I was living through heartbreak. Now, I’m on a podcast. What the fuck?” Tell me about that time.

I separated from my husband in 2022. It was January. It was the worst, heartbreaking moment of my life leading up to that moment. I was working with my best friend at the time, delivering bread for her. I had this entertainment career that I had no idea what to do with because I had to move back home. I was very lost and scared. It was something that I knew I needed to do for myself, leaving the situation that I was in. I made the ultimate trust fall in trusting my intuition and trusting myself.

That summer, that's when I blew up on social media. I was like, “I am on the right path. I’m still figuring this out.” I then went on that podcast and was like, “I can't believe I'm here. In January, I was crying on my floor, delivering bread for my best friend, and trying to figure out what I'm doing with my life. Now, I'm talking to thousands of people.” I had, at the time, 100,000 followers on Instagram. I'm like, “What the fuck is going on?”

It was a severe case of imposter syndrome.

September 2022 was when I appeared on Today with Hoda & Jenna, I was like, “I couldn't even watch it because I was delivering bread.”

It was your day job. You were paying your bills.

Not so much now. I'm doing this full-time. I'm so thankful for that job. It’s called Dutch Oven Bread Company. If you've never heard of them, now you have. They’re going to be all over the place, I’m sure, in Whole Foods near you.

I can't wait. That's for your best friend, Candace?

That's for my best friend, Candace.

Do you like how I do my research? I fucking know your best friend's name. What's wrong with my brain?

She's an entrepreneur. Watching her build her business and rise as much as she has has been so inspiring. She's been the biggest help in my life, especially in 2022, for sure. We need friends.

We're going to get into that. What I love about what you said is you were in such a shitty time in your life, questioning everything. Your friend was here on the side, doing this amazing thing. How do you not get into those feelings of being triggered like, “Fuck her. How does she have her shit together? Why is she with her partner and building a bread company?” How were you able to not get into the mean girl zone?

I hate to say that I've never had those feelings before because I have, but in that state of my life, I knew my path was very different. We all inherently have to know that our paths in life are completely different than other people's. That’s how I don't adopt jealousy or envy. Sometimes, those feelings are very beneficial though to your motivation. I saw Candace working in QuickBooks and structuring her business. I'm like, “That's inspiring. I want that, too, in my own way.” It never occurred to me to be jealous of it. She has her own thing going on.

“We all inherently have to know that our paths in life are completely different from other people’s.”

I love that you said that because I do talk about that in my Instagram and the show. If you're feeling a little bit triggered, jealous, or envious when you're seeing things happening on social media with other women or in your life, sometimes, those are clues of, “I want to be doing that, too.” It is inspiring.

Sometimes, as women, especially in midlife, if we don't know what our next move is or what our second half of life thing is, it’s to stop and think about the people who you're not “jealous” of but who you're like, “I'm inspired by her. She's doing cool shit. I would love to start a podcast. I'd love to be a comedian. I'd love to be a chef. I'd love to be a teacher.”

It is looking at those things that get you excited. Sometimes, you don't know what it is you want to do, and that feels overwhelming unto itself, too. I didn't know what I wanted to do. I'd been a stay-at-home mom with a dusty PhD for, at the time, sixteen years. I'm like, “What am I going to do now?” It wasn't like I woke up one day and I was like, “I've been dreaming about having a show for a decade.” I had to sit down and think about the women and the people in my life who are doing cool and interesting things and how maybe I could do it, too.

I got off the phone with my spiritual teacher before I hopped on here. His name is Chandresh. He runs the Leela Gurukul podcast. He said, “Anxiety is a symptom that you're not embracing your new identity.” I'm sure that can relate to jealousy and envy, too. You're envious or jealous because it's a symptom that you're not embracing the person that you know you can be. Instead of doing the things, you're envying the things. You should do it.

FNP Mandy Brooke | Embracing Your New Identity — Embracing Your New Identity: Anxiety is a symptom that you're not embracing your new identity.

Get off your ass and do it. We all say that to ourselves. The hardest part for so many of us, including myself, is bridging that identity gap between, “This is who I was. This is who I am now. This is who I want to be. What are the steps do I need to take, these minor micro-steps, between where I am right now and who I want to become?” Sometimes, those micro-steps seem so big and so hard. Even sending that email or initiating that contact with a new person can feel like such a big deal, but once you do it, you're building the confidence muscle.

That's exactly what it is.

The confidence muscle is probably worse than my hamstrings. I'm working on deadlifts and my hamstrings are like, “What the fuck are you doing? Please stop. You're creating pain.”

As a side note, every time I've ever done a deadlift, I have never felt it where I'm supposed to feel it.

All I know is I can't walk for five days.

I do deadlifts and I'm like, “Where am I supposed to be feeling this? Maybe my bottom half.”

Your bottom half's like, “Sorry, I don't feel it.”

My bottom half might be the baddest bitch of my whole body. That's probably what it is.

Do you know the best part about that? The research shows that the stronger your lower body is, the better off you are in terms of cognitive health later in life.

I hope so.

There's your bonus.

I could strangle a motherfucker with my size, that's for damn sure.

I couldn’t. I could probably talk them to death. My leg strength is sad. A lot of my audience for this show has already seen your amazing and hilarious social media posts. You went viral with one about being sweaty boobs, swamp ass. Tell us what went down with that.

Leading up to that time, I was posting what I wanted to post. I was posting things that made me laugh. I wasn't paying attention to how people were perceiving it because I was so heartbroken at the time. I was like, “Fuck it. I'm going to make myself laugh.” This parody came into my mind while I was driving. I was sitting on it for a little bit. I was walking through Target with Candace and was like, “I came up with this funny song.” She said, “What is it?” I sang it in Target and she's like, “You need to post that.” I was like, “Okay.”

It was so weird. I was dropping off a UPS package at the time. I was in the parking lot and was like, “This is the moment. This is it.” It was a spirit or source telling me, “This is the time. You need to do it now.” I was in my hat, my gloves, and my whole getup. I live in Florida and I have to protect my sweet white skin. It was 11:11 when I recorded it. I posted it right after and forgot all about it. I didn't even think about it. A week later, it was at 10 million views or something. It was so crazy. My page started blowing up. Candace was like, “What the fuck?” She was freaking out. It was the weirdest thing. After that, it was one after the other.

I love it. It’s so good. You take popular songs like from Dua Lipa and change the lyrics. You're a lifelong vocalist and songwriter. Does this come out of your ass like it's easy for you?

I've always made up songs in the car anyway. This particular one was significant. I knew it was significant. I make them up.

What’s your other favorite one?

This one didn't go super viral. It wasn't a parody. It was like, “I decided to order extra jalapenos. Now, I’m suffering from heartburn.” It was about shitting my pants in Target.

That’s a fun midlife moment.

I love the I Love Wine Always Forever. That was so funny.

You have to sing it.

I got the boob sweat one in my head. Hold on. “I love wine always forever. Rose's fine. Prosecco is better. Every night, I will be with you. Drinking away all of my issues. Say you’ll fix me up temporarily. Pour it to the top. Don't be stingy. When I wake up, I will be hungover. Fuck.”

It’s so good.

Thank you, Donna Lewis. I appreciate you.

How did you get into your social media platform? You and your husband separated. Life is shitty. You're like, “Let me post on Instagram and see if I can go viral.” What's the connection?

I honestly wasn't trying to go viral. I was posting to make myself laugh. Being an artist and stuff before all of that, I was always trying to post things for people. I was trying to always promote my art or my CDs coming out. I never could connect it because it wasn't me. It wasn't authentically me. The music was, but the way that I was trying to promote it or even promote myself. I was always such a people-pleaser my whole life. I always congealed myself to be who I needed to be for certain situations. I learned that from childhood trauma.

That’s such a great takeaway from childhood, “Stuff yourself in a fucking little box and stay there. Be perfect.”

“Be exactly who we need you to be when it's convenient for us.” It was a weird thing. I forgot where I was going with that.

I interrupted you with my own midlife thought. I don't even know.

I also think I have ADHD. I'm pretty sure.

I feel like we all do. I was saying, “How did you get into your social media platform?” You just woke up one day and you were like, “Let me dance around?”

It's been a long time coming. I've always pretty much done consistent posting. Where I got a lot of traction though was when I started posting car karaoke when Reels were a brand-new thing. My second reel got 500,000 views and I thought that was such a huge deal. For a time, I was posting car karaoke and stuff. I was making myself feel better, too, because I was going through a hard time then as well. Once I went viral, there was so much for people to watch to know who I was as a person. That's how my page grew.

You make shit up on the fly. You sing in your car. You talk about back pain, drinking wine, bad back, swamp ass, sweaty boobs, and the whole thing. You're saying, “Be the main character of your movie however fucked up your movie is.”

Everybody is here in your life for a purpose. It's like a play. You have to look at your life like a play or else, you're going to drown in it. Buddha said life is suffering. We have to figure out how to aid that suffering. Am I trying to be inspirational? Life is suffering. Everything sucks.

“Everybody is here in your life for a purpose. You have to look at your life like a play, or else you’re just going to drown in it.”

Everything's suffering. You're never going to get out of the boob sweat. You're going to be sweating your boobs off forever.

You got to find the calm in the chaos is what it is.

Enjoy the journey. That's so crazy. Who's your favorite singer?

My favorite person of all time is Beyoncé.

Whose isn't? She's amazing.

Since day one when No, No, No came out by Destiny's Child. She was on Smart Guy back in the day at Disney. I was floored. I loved her. I had the Survivor poster on my wall. I love Beyoncé. We have the same birthday. I tell everyone this. It's my calling card.

She's your twin.

I am her. She is me.

Do you know who my birthday twin is? Get ready for this. This is super hot and super sexy. It’s George Washington. George Washington and Beyoncé, I could see how yours is so much better than mine. I felt like I had to throw mine in.

We love it.

You also talk about how you want to normalize finding yourself at 45, discovering love at 55, being brand new at 70, and always personally evolving. I especially love the personally evolving part because that's the crux of this whole show and my whole platform. Once you're done evolving, you're fucked. Game over.

If you don't move it, you lose it.

Sometimes, it's so fun to sit on the couch.

My grandmother is 88 years old this 2023. She goes bowling three times a week. She's in a bowling league. She cleans her yard of all the palm fronds and stuff from Florida. She is constantly doing something. She looks great. She is mobile. She's perfectly healthy. I don't think she even takes any medication.

What’s the secret?

She keeps moving. She's always learning something. She's always making sure her mind is active. People look to her. People much younger than her look older. They seem older and act older. It's because they don't move their mind or their body.

How does she throw a bowling ball though?

I don't know.

I'm such a bad bowler. It's weird. My husband and his whole family are all professional bowlers. It's so weird. My husband had his own bowling ball. I'm like, “That's so weird to me. What are you talking about?” They're all good at it, including his grandmother. His grandmother passed away a few months ago and she was 99. She was 100% lucid and still playing bridge up until the day she died. She was sharp as nails. I don't even know what to say. I'm like, “I hope that my life is like that.”

It's the bowling. Bowling is the key. It's the secret.

If you have your own bowling ball with a name on it and you have special shoes, you're hooked up.

You're going to live a long life.

Everyone in his family plays games. I'm the worst game player known to man. I'm ADD. I'm like, “I don't have the patience to wait to see how the game ends.”

I am the same way. I do not like card games at all. I was in a little short film. It was poker.

That would be my worst nightmare. I'd be like, “I can't add.”

Luckily, the director was like, “You don't need to know how to play poker.” I'm like, “Thank God.” Throughout every single scene, everybody was playing the game even though the camera wasn't showing our cards.

You're like, “Do you want to see my boobs? I'm leaning over.” I'm either napping while they're all playing on the sofa or scrolling Instagram. I will do anything. I can play games of chance like Uno or Sorry because I don't have to think. There's no strategy involved. It’s like, “Did you get the right color or did you not?” I feel like real games require you to pay attention to not space out. I'm a big spacer outer, so it's hard for me.

I have a game, though, that you will like, dominoes. I am not a game player like you, but I will fuck up a domino. I will fuck it up. Dominoes use your brain constantly. You have to strategize. It's very easy because everything's visual. I'm a very visual person. It's a simple game. It grows your brain.

Is that going to be my midlife, late life new game?

My aunt Sheryl, my mom, and my grandmother all meet twice a week to play it. Sometimes, I will join them.

Do you play dominoes against someone else or is it against yourself?

Yes. You can play dominoes against yourself, too, but it’s more fun with grandma.

Are you matching the 6 dots to the 6 dots? I don't remember.

Yeah. You have one domino in the middle. It starts off with one, and then you have to make your train is what they call it. You have 15 dominoes of your own and you have to start with 1. You have to match one. From there, you have to match each number on the domino. You can either have a hugely long train or you may only have one domino that matches and then none other. I suck at even explaining games.

You've piqued my interest a little bit. I feel like I might be a little too old for Uno. It’s colors and numbers. I used to play when my kids were in third grade. I'm like, “Maybe I need to level up my game playing a little bit.” Let’s get back to the big stuff. You talk a lot about how there's beauty that comes from these overwhelming obstacles in our lives. Do you say you have takeaways from your whole marriage debacle?

Absolutely.

What are they? This is for people wanting to know who are going through their own with their marriage, partner, or anything.

My ex is a fantastic person, and that was why it was so hard and heartbreaking to leave. I knew internally and in my intuition that it wasn't where I was supposed to be even though it was good. It's a hard thing to explain. My takeaway from that was you know from the get-go in your gut what is up. Women inherently have such a beautiful intuition. It's our nature. It's our primal instinct because we are mothers and caretakers. We have to protect and stuff. We know what is good for us.

Through time, we've been desensitized. We’re like, “There's a red flag here but it's fine. I can deal with that.” I’m not saying this happened, but it is like, “My boyfriend cheated on me four times, but it's okay. I can go back.” We ignore it so much. We have to stop ignoring what is primly in our bodies. I knew when I was 23 years old when I got married that something wasn't necessarily right in my soul. I was like, “Why? He's a good man. He treats me well. What's happening?” It was because I didn't have enough data. I'd never dated before him. He was the first person I'd ever been with. I didn't give myself enough time. I didn't give myself enough room.

That manifests in so many different ways the older you get. The things that you hide as a child, in your early 20s, or even in your early 30s will come back up. You got to decide when you want to deal with it. Some people deal with it when they're 70 years old, and that's fine. Reinvent yourself at 70. For me, I want to deal with all the ugly stuff so I can enjoy and deal with the chaos of life because it's never going to stop. That's my takeaway.

That makes sense. Going back to the funny things for a second, and we've already talked about this, I could relate to the underboob sweat, swamp ass, and all of that. You can see me on my Instagram. I'm blowing a fan up my vagina at the hairdresser.

The golden shit shovel is probably my favorite thing of all time. Every time I see you on Instagram with that golden shovel, I'm like, “What is she going to talk about?”

My husband's like, “Why is there a giant golden shit shovel from Home Depot in the kitchen?” I'm like, “That is my instrument and tool of choice. There is so much midlife bullshit and cockamamie that I've got to get through that I need to be able to dig deep.” That shovel's heavy. It's not even a fun prop that looks heavy. It's real weight. It feels real.

It’s your guitar and life is the song.

I'm going to bang my leg into this desk and make noises. That's why I love it.

I shake my legs constantly all the time. My mom always tells me, “Please stop.”

The beautiful part is that I did not work out. I was like, “I got to get my midlife ass on the treadmill before we record.” I get on the treadmill and it's like, “Please log in.” I'm like, “Fuck you and your logins. I can't even do logins on my computer.” Peloton, I've had this stupid thing for five years. It's the first time it's telling me to log in. I'm like, “There are no logins on my treadmill.”

You got to log in before you can even start walking?

I did. I called my husband and was like, “You're not going to believe this, but there are login things on the Peloton now.” He's like, “What?” Even he couldn't figure it out, so I felt better about myself. The best and worst part is that the power that went out made me not be able to do my episode with you from home, but I still got through the workout. I was like, “Why couldn't you have gone out fifteen minutes earlier so that you could have cut my workout a little bit shorter? Instead, you sent me to two different locations to record this episode.”

I got my workout in and I got to rinse off my swamp-ass lower body after the workout or after the little walk on the treadmill. I wear a weighted vest. Talk about swamp boobs. That's swamp boobs because when you get off and take the vest off, you have a crisscross of sweat across your t-shirt. It's like a BabyBjörn.

I bet that thing smells so good.

It’s so hot. My husband wears one, too, except his is 25 pounds because he is an overachiever.

You guys sound very motivated.

It's because his ass is so motivated that I'm like, “I can't be like the frumpy lumpy wife. I got to pretend to be into it.” He does all the shit I don't do. He does sauna. He's dying in the sauna because it reduces cardiac stroke by 40%. I'm like, “I'm not doing the sauna. That's bad for my melasma. You can’t heat up your inner core body temperature.” I have brown spots already on my face.

Are you married to Joe Rogan?

Honestly, I'm like, “You got to stop.” It's my fault because the house came with a sauna. We never used it and we've lived there for a year. I said to my husband, “You better use that fucking sauna because Andrew Huberman is on Instagram talking about how you can live longer if you use the sauna.” He does it and I don’t. He's here to live forever, but that's okay.

It's fine. I want to do a sauna badly, too.

You have to come over. That's too hot for me and that fucks up my hair. That would require an extra blow dry. That doesn't work for me.

That's a lot.

That's a lot of steps to organize. It's very high-level. What I was going to mention to you is that my brother who's a whole other ball of wax, and I love him, is a workout master. He has a real job, too, but he always told me about Fresh Balls. I knew you would love it. Fresh Balls is like the monkey butt stuff. You put it on your balls so you don't sweat during the day. He's like “I've been swearing by Fresh Balls for decades.”

I bought it for my son and my husband. They're like, “We're good. Our balls are not sweating right now.” It’s a whole thing in my house, the whole sweating situation. If anyone's reading and their husband has sweaty balls, Fresh Balls seems to work. That's the name of the brand. You're going to look it up when we're done.

This a new brand deal.

Isn't it amazing?

You need to have an affiliate link.

Manscapers, Fresh Balls, vagina fans, and the whole thing.

You started this underboob sweat thing. You created the Humidititty Committee, which is hilarious to me. How did you come up with that?

My followers did. I asked them on a story. I'm like, “What should we call ourselves?” We were all of these boob-sweat besties. They're like, “We're the Humidititty Committee.” That turned out to be a trending word in the summertime. It was so much fun.

Talk about swamp ass in Florida in the summer. Do you sit on a towel in your car?

No.

You should do that. That's a good tip. Even in LA, I have black leather seats. In the summer, I put a regular beach towel that’s folded on my seat so that I'm not sweating and wet on the seat. It absorbs some of your moisture.

We don't have saunas here in Florida. We have black cars with black leather seats. That's what we have. That, to me, sounds like hell in a cage. I can't even imagine having black leather seats in Florida.

What I'm saying is any color seat you have in Florida, try sitting on a towel. It creates this fluffy barrier that absorbs sweat. I'm always panicked that I'm going to sweat through my dress and that when I get out of the car, I'm going to have the whole U-shape of my ass and my legs imprinted on my butt. The way I get around that is the towel. Sometimes, I shove half the towel between my butt and the dress on the inside. It’s pretty.

You should make this an actual outfit trend.

You don't understand. For my wedding, I had this gigantic satin princess dress.

You put a towel in your pussy?

No. I probably should have, but I had powder between my thighs. Even when I was 28, I had sweating issues apparently. I had them make me a cotton slip so that I could shove it in between my legs while I was sitting down so I didn't have that parchment and satin all over my legs. Sweating has always been an issue for me, for sure.

I am all about a slip.

Do you use a cotton one? I feel like silk slips make me sweaty, and then those gross polyester ones make me even sweatier.

Polyester sucks. It keeps all the heat in. I'm all about cotton. Hanes makes some really good ones.

I didn’t even know they made those.

They make a smoother one that feels silky but it's a cloth material. I wear a lot of dresses. I'm old-fashioned.

I don't like my legs touching.

I want to make sure my garments last, especially in this heat and especially in the sweating. I wear a slip or undergarments. Let me tell you. Bike shorts are the key.

You don't get yeast infections from that?

No, I don't.

You have a sweaty vagina all day but you're fine.

Sometimes, you wear a pad. That goes well with traveling. If you want to make your underwear last when you're traveling, wear a pad for a couple of days. It's gross but it's true when there is no washer around.

It’s interesting what gross things we do. The best part is you sell merchandise with the Humidititty Committee on it. I almost told you to wear it so that I could see it. I might need one of those for my Instagram.

I'll send one to you.

I need to be a star member of that. Getting to a more serious thing, I've heard you talk about how when you feel like you need to go to your happy place, you go to living like your nine-year-old self on an ideal day. Tell me a little bit about that.

I used to love playing in the dirt when I was a kid.

I never did that.

I was a special type of child.

I was twirling my hair.

I would often sit in the grass and touch the grass. I would get lost in the feeling of the grass and the touching of the dirt. I was a very special kind of child. My mom was like, “What the fuck are you doing?”

“You're getting grass stains on your clothes.”

I would never be playing with the other kids. I'd always be off on my own. I realized that when I was a kid, I embraced the moment. That was me embracing being in the now. That's why when you're a child, time goes by so slowly. You're learning new things all the time and you're constantly being stimulated. That's how I live my nine-year-old self.

Especially if I'm feeling anxious, I’d be like, “What would my nine-year-old self do?” I would go outside and ride my bike. I would say hi to a neighbor. I would play in the dirt. As an adult, sometimes, it's a little weird laying in the grass and playing with the grass. My neighbors have always thought that I was very eccentric. It's fine.

Who cares?

Be your weird-ass self. It's fine. Everything's great as long as you're not hurting anybody. That's how I operate my life or I try to, anyway. I'm neurotic as well, but it's hard to be flexible.

“Be your weird ass self. It’s fine as long as you’re not hurting anyone.”

Believe me. I'm on location three for this episode. I kept calling my husband. He's like, “Reschedule it.” I'm like, “I'm not fucking rescheduling it. This is happening. I'm making this happen.” He's like, “Goodbye. I will talk to you later.” I'm like, “I'll let you know how it goes. Bye.” In terms of building community, I know that's a big thing for you. Tell me why it's so big for you, and tell me how you're doing it.

It’s a big thing for me because I've realized so many women feel the exact same way that I do. Men, too. It's not subjugated. I don't know if that's the right word. It's not alone with women. The way that I'm doing that is making content. I'm working on quite a few projects on my own that are going to formulate a community. I'm excited to announce those in the future. I'm working on a podcast as well.

I love that. What's it called?

It’s called Haha! Wait What? with Mandy Brooke. It's the ultimate bestie session where we sit around and talk about like life, love, sex, manifesting, and mystical shit. I'm going to have guests on that.

How fun.

It's going to be fun. My mom's going to be on and some of my friends and guests you may know. It's going to be a fun way to show a little bit more of my heart and more relatability. It’s so neat. A lot of people want story times.

I love it.

I’m a Virgo, so inherently, I'm very modest. I keep a lot of stuff in. It wasn't until the last couple of years that I've been sharing more about my life. It feels still a little foreign to me, but it's so important to share your experience.

My kids are like, “TMI. Shut the fuck up.” I'm like, “I know.”

As open as we are, their generation's going to be sharing their butthole on Instagram or whatever platform they’re going to have.

I'm like, “What are you talking about?” To get through it all on a daily, I have read that you are very into spiritual practices. Let's get into that for a minute. I know for myself and a lot of the audience, there are a bunch of people who are like, “I have my thing. I know what I'm doing. It's my ritual.” The other half of us are like, “What the fuck? Nothing works. I can't commit to anything.” Tell us what you do, why it's important for you, and how we can stick to our own.

I talk a little bit about my spiritual practice in the second episode of my podcast. It will come out. As soon as I wake up in the morning, I'm like, “What are three things to be grateful for?” It sounds super cheesy, but starting off your day like that makes you feel better.

“Starting off your day with gratitude just makes you feel better.”

Do you pick little things like, “I'm so happy that I bought a makeup remover yesterday,” or are they super spiritual-ish things like, “I'm so happy that the pandemic is being resolved?” How deep are they?

Sometimes, they're not deep at all. Sometimes, it's being thankful for my car, Fran, or, “My mom bought me flowers yesterday and I feel so thankful for that. That's so sweet. It made my day.” It’s those types of things. It doesn't have to be crazy, spiritual, or anything. Most of my spiritual practice happens in the evening. I always shower and make myself clean and stuff. I take my time and put lotion on my body. It's my time to be not sexual, but sensual with myself and get in the moment.

I then sit down for meditation. I don't time myself. I could say that it’s maybe 30 minutes or maybe 10 minutes. I don't know. I put on some music that I like to listen to. I sit there and show up for myself. A lot of people think that meditation's all about clearing your mind. It's not about that at all. It's about witnessing the chaos of your mind and hearing it.

We, as people, all want to be heard. We all want to talk to a friend and not have them interrupt us. You want to say something. That's what our subconscious wants. That's what our higher self wants, especially. When we sit, show up, and listen in silence, we can figure out so much bullshit. It's super wild.

You shower and put your lotion on for five hours. I don't understand how the lotion doesn't make you sweat because lotion makes me sweat.

You could find an oil or something.

I read that you like candles and that you have a saying that you say to yourself before you start. What is that saying? It was long.

I have quite a few of them, but the one that I'm meditating on is I want to create things that lift the vibration of the world to prepare people for their dream life, ascension, or whatever that's supposed to mean for them. I’m also embracing my abundance fully and being worthy of that. For a long time, I was always very self-doubting and second-guessing myself.

Things sometimes come into my life without me asking. I always felt like, “I don't deserve this. I didn't work hard for it.” I work hard every day. I work every day. I do deserve everything that I'm getting. A lot of women push away and resist the abundance that they have already. That's what I say to myself. I’m like, “I embrace my abundance fully and completely with ease and joy.”

“Embrace your abundance fully and completely, with ease and joy.”

You're opening yourself to receive. I feel like a lot of women have a hard time with that.

That’s all about your feminine energy, too. I'm a big person with feminine energy. It's all about allowing and receiving. A lot of women are anxious. They are feeling a lot of insecurity and overstimulation because we've lost that. We've lost the way to receive and to allow. It’s not to allow terrible things. We have to stand up for ourselves.

How are you defining femininity?

I'm defining femininity as being sensual. By sensual, meaning being in the moment, being playful, being curious, and being creative. Those are all very feminine things. Everybody can be feminine. However you identify, it's fine. There are masculine and feminine energies in all of us. For a long time, I leaned into the masculine energy of doing, going, figuring it out, and all of those things. There's a time and place for that, for sure, but I had to balance that. We have a very fine balance within each of our souls. We have to find that balance. I was leaning more into my feminine and it felt so good.

That’s very well said.

Thanks.

It's true. I'm like, “I could take that in 75 directions.” I've heard you talk about how you've taken a conscious meditation course and how that has informed a lot of your thinking and philosophy. Tell us a little bit about that and what it’s called. It's probably some long name that I can't spell.

It’s the Leela Gurukul Spiritual School. Chandresh is the teacher. He's @CBMeditates on Instagram. He's a fantastic person.

Do you still take the course or are you done with the course?

I'm on a one-on-one thing with him. I have a few phone calls a month with him. We talked all about the anxiety that I'm feeling and the weight. I'm emerging into this new identity. It's scary.

What were his suggestions? What was the practical advice?

I cried most of the conversation. I've been feeling so much weight and overwhelm. Instead of talking about it all, he was like, “Let me guide you through a meditation. Let's pick some words that will help you.” He has a great way of wording things that makes me feel so much better. He has a whole bunch of guided meditations on his podcast that are free. I would suggest it to anyone having a spiritual awakening or curious about meditation. He's fantastic. He takes it from a tantric perspective, too.

Is the weight of what you're feeling related to what's next for you? Is it related to this very quick platform that you've built? What is the crux of it?

It's all of it. I got officially divorced. It’s like, “I have 200,000 people watching me. I'm getting divorced. I have all of these projects that I'm passionate about and excited to release. Who am I to think that people want to listen to what I have to say?” It's all of it.

I love that, too, because I feel that way. We all do. It's like, “Who am I to do this? Who's even listening?” It feels surreal sometimes.

It feels like I'm living a different life. It doesn't feel like my life sometimes. One of the things I told Chandresh was, “I'm creating the life that I've always wanted right now, but I didn't realize that there was so much shedding that I have to do at the same time.” It's what growing pains are. Spiritually growing causes a lot of stretch marks, both figuratively and physically, especially on my hip. It's the same. We're not going to get out of this unscarred. We have to grow a little bit.

“Creating the life that you’ve always wanted requires a lot of shedding. It’s what growing pains are.”

I put in one of my Instagram posts, and I wish I could remember it, that I have a midlife brain. It was talking about how in order to have this midlife growth, we're going to have to shed a little bit of who we think we are and who we used to be to let in some of the growth. We can't 100% be all of it at all the time. That's hard for us. I was a mom full-time. I have a kid going off to college, so I'm shedding a little of the mom identity. I'll always be a mom, but a mom in a very different way.

We, as women, attach ourselves to the titles that we have. It could be the title of mom or the title of the good daughter. We’re like, “I'm a good sister. I’m a good best friend,” and all of these things. Those are not who we are. If we strip away all of the actual titles that people perceive us to be and we perceive ourselves to be, then who are we?

The labels give us our identity. When those labels start to disappear, it's like, “I used to be a career person. Now, I'm retiring. I used to be a super mom. Now, my kids are in college.” It feels so scary because it feels like we're disappearing.

We're emerging.

It feels like disappearing at the beginning.

I felt very similarly. My whole life, I was a musician. Those are my titles. I was a musician, a singer. I was going to do music my whole life. I can't tell the future. I don't know if that's true or not. I'm still here. I was so attached to that identity that I prevented myself from a lot of other opportunities because I was so set in, “I'm a singer. I'm this.” If I wouldn't let that go a little bit, I wouldn't be creating the career that I am. I'm so much more than a singer or a musician. You're so much more than a PhD, a doctor, and a mom. We are so complicated and beautiful. It's our life's purpose to figure out who the fuck we are.

“It’s our life’s purpose to figure out who we are.”

It’s important to realize that we don't need the label. We want the label. When someone's like, “What do you do?” Is it okay to be like, “I'm a self-evolver?”

I love that.

You're supposed to answer, “I'm a mom. I'm just a mom.” Now, I can say, “I'm a host,” but a couple of years ago, I couldn't have said that. What if you were someone who was focusing on personal growth? That's okay.

You're a seeker.

You don't have to be a thing. You’re a seeker or a personal expander. We so quickly judge ourselves. We think so many other people are going to judge us if we're not a thing.

If we only knew how little people thought of us, we would not think about it.

We think the whole world is inspecting us and they're like, “What?”

They could give two flying fucks about what we're doing. We care so much about like, “That thing that I said was so awkward.” They haven't even thought about it since it happened.

Everyone's so busy focusing on getting through their own fucking day. If they have time to talk about what you're doing, then they need another part-time job or they need to get a life. If you have enough time to be shit-talking other people, whatever.

Gossip is not a very high-frequency thing to do anyway. I try to avoid it. It's not my thing.

We've all had it come out of our houses post-pandemic, which has been amazing. That's also hard because you're re-negotiating your boundaries of like, “I like a little bit more alone time. I'm going to put boundaries around always being out.” A lot of us did re-evaluate what's important to us. There was some silver lining in the pandemic of forcing us as hard as it was to re-evaluate our priorities.

We re-evaluate our boundaries, too. It's a real thing, especially with social inclusion, too. We're born and bred to seek that social inclusion. Back in the day, when we were in tribes, if you were socially excluded, you died. It makes complete sense that people want titles and want that organization. They’re like, “I fit into the societal structure.”

It's belonging.

It’s okay to not.

That's a later-life thing. My daughter is pretty good at it because she's a wise old soul, but it's a hard thing to come to. I'll say to her all the time, “There are birthday parties. If there are 50 people, I'm invited. If there are 20 people, I might be invited. With certain friends, if it's 10 or 5, I might not make that list. That goes the same for kids, teenagers, and adults. That's life. It doesn't always feel good, but it's life.”

The key is being so obsessed with what you are doing. Villainize being self-obsessed. There's a version of that that is terrible. Being self-obsessed with yourself and being obsessed with your life, what you're doing, and who you're doing it with is the key. You're not going to fucking care if you're invited to a Joe Schmoe's birthday party if you're making money over here.

If you're even watching a fucking TV show and eating bonbons. I feel like there are so many other things, for sure. One of the mantras of my show and my platform is, “Midlife self-obsession is approved.”

I love that. That's awesome.

It's approved. It's like, “You've been a mom. You've been this. You've been that. Now, it's you time. Let's go.”

You can't be the main character of your own story if you're not obsessed with it.

“You can’t be the main character of your own story if you’re not obsessed with it.”

You’re talking to me. Let’s go back to the friends topic for a second. How have your friends changed as you've gotten older? Have you brought in new friends? Do you keep your list tight? Do you hang onto your old friends? How have you negotiated that?

I keep my circle pretty small, and I always have. I got my main day ones, from high school. We're still besties. I've learned that my energy budget is very limited. Even though I appear to be a huge extrovert on my social media accounts, I am an introvert. I'm an INFJ. I need my alone time.

Me, too. I'm like, “Am I an extroverted introvert or an introverted extrovert?” Whatever it is, I can go manically for three days, and then I need two days off. I need recharge time.

I can be in front of a crowd. I can talk on stage. I can mingle like no other, but I will need at least 2 to 3 days of being in complete solitary confinement.

Me, too.

I cannot do it. I keep my circle small. The people that I do share things with are everything to me. I try to cultivate those relationships.

What advice do you have for women who are in midlife wanting to scratch their midlife itchies or wanting to do something new but scared?

I'm going to quote Elyse Myers who's also a great account on Instagram and TikTok. Do it scared. Be scared and do it. Do all things scared. That fear is an indication that you're going in the right direction sometimes.

“Do all things scared, because that fear is an indication that you’re going in the right direction.”

There's also beauty in mini-failures or flops because you're learning from that experience. You’re like, “That didn't work.”

You're flexing what we were talking about before, which is your confidence muscle. When I was hired to do this hosting gig for NBC, I had never hosted anything in my entire life. It was for The Voice. It was for a viewing party in Nashville. There were hundreds of people there and a huge stage. It was the first time that I was at an event where I wasn't singing with a guitar in front of me. I was there for myself to be the host. I'd never done it before. I was so scared. I was so nervous. I'm like, “What am I going to talk about? What am I going to do?” The producer came up to me and was like, “You're going to have to talk for fifteen minutes.” I'm like, “What?” I was so freaked out. Luckily, it wasn't fifteen minutes.

It probably felt like fifteen though.

It felt short.

It was because you were in a blur.

I don't even remember what I said, but I got up there and was like, “We're going to do this scared to death and hope for the best. Whatever.” I did a fantastic job. I was proud of myself. I got the whole crowd going and it was awesome. If I would've given in to my insecurity, I would've said, “NBC, I can't do this job. I've never hosted anything before. Who am I to do that?” I wouldn't have gotten more opportunities from that.

There's a theme there, and I talk about this, too. It’s saying yes to things because synchronicity is involved in that. You don't want to go because you're scared, but you go anyway to the NBC thing. You do your thing. You meet 3 people and 1 of those 3 people introduces you to someone. It's like sliding doors. If you stayed home scared, none of those sliding doors would've happened.

You may be missing out on a secret talent that you didn't even know you had. After I was finished, I went into the green room. The producer was like, “How long have you been hosting things?” I'm like, “This is my first time hosting anything.” They were like, “What?” I was like, “I had no idea that I was even good at it.” You may be holding down your potential if you hold yourself back.

I love that. That's so good. You also talk about, in terms of advice to people, pivoting, changing, and evolving. I know we've talked about the evolving thing. How have you incorporated the pivot?

I pivot every day.

You're like, “My whole life is to pivot. What are you talking about?”

My entire life is a complete pivoting nightmare. Sometimes, I feel like I'm on the wild river rafting ride at Disney World. I’m like, “Whoa.” I'm trying to embrace the changes that are happening because they're happening so quickly. Every single day, something new comes up. I'm trying to stay grateful. I’m trying to pivot. I go with what works. I go with what scares me to death. It’s all of the things. As long as we embrace the change, we're being like my grandmother. She always embraced the change. We're moving it and we're not losing it.

“Embrace the change you’re being.”

This swamp-ass-living-your-most-authentic-life chat could go on forever. I'm going to wrap things up. I love digging deep with you on this episode. If the audience wants to find you, where can they find you?

You can find me on Instagram and TikTok @MandyBrookeOfficial. I'm coming out with my podcast called Haha! Wait What? at the end of April or early May 2023, so keep a lookout for that.

I can't wait.

I'll be entertaining all of you in the meantime.

It’s so fun. I want everyone to think about what shit we can start doing with one small step. I want to thank Mandy for this chat, using humor and relatability to make midlife underboob sweat more fun and living our lives outside of the boxes. Thank you.

You're so welcome. Thank you so much for having me.

---

I read this episode with the multifaceted entertainer, singer-songwriter, and hilarious social media sensation, Mandy Brooke. I could summarize the golden nuggets for you to have actionable items to start using. When I read a long episode, I'm like, “I fucking love that,” but then I can't even remember the specifics. This is why I come back and do a Golden Nugget summary.

In this episode, we dig deep with our golden shit shovels in a conversation that is intended to normalize and inspire the midlife remix through passion, humor, relatability, and of course, some fucking sweating. Golden Nugget 1) Embracing change and becoming the main character of your own life. Mandy emphasizes the importance of embracing change, especially in midlife.

Her story is proof that you never know what is on the other side of that change, and oftentimes you may never even imagine the amazing things it will bring you. Mandy went from delivering bread with a friend to separating from her husband and then speaking to thousands of women and providing meaningful and inspiring content.

Golden Nugget 2) Spiritual practices, envy, and inspiration. Mandy starts her day with gratitude and ends it with self-care and meditation. She has learned to listen and trust her gut feelings and her intuition. When Mandy listened to her inner voice, it was telling her to go for it. She made the video that she was inspired to make and it blew up and went viral. The biggest piece of advice that Mandy received that she now shares with us is to turn the envy of other women into inspiration and that it's important to bridge the gap between who you are and who you want to become.

Golden Nugget 3) Being your authentic self will take you far. When Mandy decided to start posting things that genuinely made her laugh, her content went viral and was seen and loved by millions of people online. When she reflected on her success, she noted that she was finally being authentic with her art and herself. She was no longer trying to please other people or create things that she thought others were going to enjoy.

She was shifting out of her long-standing beliefs rooted in childhood trauma, telling her to fit herself into this small little box. The intention behind her art changed and led her to her ultimate success of being a relatable, inspiring, and hilarious source of information, bringing light to the reality of the underboob sweat and swamp ass. I love that conversation.

Golden Nugget 4) Being the main character of your life. You can't be the main character of your own story if you're not obsessed with it. It's okay to be obsessed with your life and it's attainable to create that reality for yourself. You deserve it. After years of pleasing others or worrying about others and what others will think, midlife is the time to move away from the self-doubt that has held you back in the past. Honor your needs. Take alone time. Take risks. Say yes to getting more out of life and you will be rewarded.

The gold is dripping off these nuggets. Grab it. Use it. There are three things you can do. First, subscribe to the show. Second, share it with some midlife friends who might like the midlife shit. Third, write an Apple review. Writing reviews is annoying and it's an extra step, but it helps the show grow. You think your little review won't matter, but it does. If you went to a show and everyone said, “My clap doesn't matter,” then there would be no clapping. You all matter. DM me. You know I always respond. Follow my Instagram @TheFlexibleNeurotic. Love you. Talk soon.

About Mandy Brooke

Mandy Brooke surely does it all! This multifaceted entertainer is a singer, songwriter, actress and hilarious social media influencer with a resume that leaves people wondering, "What can't this girl do?"

Mandy (@MandyBrookeOfficial) is a bonafide social media sensation, garnering millions of views across platforms with her hilarious song parodies and everyday antics! Her relatable comedy and unique style has inspired people all over the world to be their most authentic self, earning her TWO appearances on TODAY with Hoda & Jenna! As an influencer, she has worked with top brands and networks like NBC (The Voice), CVS Health, FabFitFun, AMB, Herbal Face Food and more!

This podcast, along with associated websites and social media materials, are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. The views expressed are that of Dr. Sarah Milken, and that of her guests, respectively. It is for informational purposes only. Please consult your healthcare professional for any further medical questions.

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