Midlife Remix Brunch Table And The City

Sarah Milken  00:04

Hey peeps, welcome to the flexible neurotic podcast. I'm your host, Dr. Sarah Milken. Yeah, you heard that right. I'm a real PhD doctor. Long, long ago like last fucking year. I was sitting in the midlife funk wondering, was this it for me? That day I realized I needed to get off my ass and start my midlife remix. I dusted off my PhD wipe the menopause, sweat off my forehead, grabbed my golden shovel and started digging deep to all my midlife bitches. It's not just love coffee and hormones that get you through your midlife remix. It's action steps. Let's do this. Hi, good peeps. Welcome back to the flexible neurotic Podcast. I'm Dr. Sarah Milken, the flexible neurotic and I am fucking excited today to bring you this super awesome little minisode series. I decided for the summer to do a little five ish week series. So think of this as bonus content to your usual flexible neurotic episodes. It's basically called the midlife remix, brunch table and the city of course after sex in the city, and when you keep listening today, you will hear how this is tied into my next new thing that I'm offering as part of my platform. Yup, keep listening. If you follow me on Instagram, you've probably noticed my love for good Sex in the City meme. I mean, who doesn't? If you're anything like me, you were absolutely obsessed with the show. When it first aired and even now like years later, you're still kind of obsessing over it. screenshotting it watching memes and maybe even old episodes while the new season is running, the fashion the unforgettable one liners, the sex talks, the mini dramas, oh my God, everything. And it was you know, pretty fantastic. Today's episodes are still good, you know, like the definite maybe not as good as the original series, but still kind of fun and obviously love seeing the characters. I refuse to believe that any of you listening hasn't at least once thought of which for the Fabulous Four girls that you most identify with? Like seriously admit it, and many times I can identify characteristics of myself and all of them. Are you a carry type friend a Miranda, Charlotte a Samantha? And what types of friends Do you like for yourself? Do you like a bunch of caries or a bunch of Charlotte's or do you like a mix? And have you found that your taste for the friends that your personal table has been changing over time? Now there you are at the quote midlife table? Did you used to like having a bunch of Samantha's when you were partying and single. And then you had kids and thought you needed more practical friends maybe more like minded carpool moms or other career type women. Now you're at this point in your life when you can start curating your own midlife table. And I'm going to explain that in a minute. A table of women you really want to be there, now women that you are somehow assigned to. But let me tell you the real reason behind this little minisode aside from the fact that the new season, and just like that is currently airing, it might be trumped on social media by the Barbie movie. I saw that movie too. But that's a whole other topic and I cannot fucking do that right now. Okay, so I want to use this idea of the midlife brunch table in the city as a platform to dive into the broader conversation about female friendships and how much they mean to us, especially in midlife, the good, the FAB, the bad and the What the fuck oh my god, and who better to use his examples and Carrie Miranda, Samantha and Charlotte, I often talk about creating your midlife table. If you're new here. Let me tell you what the midlife fucking table even is, in my mind. It is the literal and metaphorical table we create of like vibed women, these women we want at our midlife brunch tables. They're not the mean girls we all faced in middle school in high school. You know those girls who sat at the cool lunch table? They told us we couldn't sit with them. Or maybe you were one of those Mean Girls creating that division between you and the other girls who knows. As I say one of the amazing aspects of midlife is that we have earned the fucking right to pick the who the what and the where ZeroFOX Fox, we don't have to wait for an invite to the cool lunch table. We can create our own fucking midlife brunch table. What's cool about this time in life

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Is that we can do a friendship audit of sorts, deciding who you want to sit with and realizing how crucial it is to find other women who resonate with your vibe and energy. These connections are vital for not only surviving but also thriving in this midlife journey. However, it's equally important to explore how we navigate these friendships, how we allow them to evolve as we do, and when it might be necessary to take a step back or even let go of some of them no matter how hard it is. So my big fucking announcement is that I'm launching an eight week virtual midlife remix table experience. Yep, I'm gonna repeat that. I'm launching an eight week virtual midlife remix table experience. It is sort of like an eight week course but I'm not calling it a course because I'm not lecturing like school. This is going to be an immersive experience where for two hours a week for eight weeks, you're going to sit with me at my midlife brunch table. And we're going to actually do what we're all craving. We're going to connect with other midlife women. We're going to talk about midlife topics that only midlife women can, and it will be an intimate experience. Everyone will know each other's names. It's not just like a giant giant zoom call, we will all participate in the conversation. Let me tell you about my real life experience that was sort of like the spiritual download as to why this midlife brunch remix table experience would even work, be meaningful and be powerful. The still kind of secret waitlist if you want to call it for this experience just went up on my website, go to www the flexible neurotic.com forward slash waitlist, www the flexible neurotic.com forward slash waitlist and make sure you spell neurotic, right. And e u r o t i see i swear every time I type it I fuck it up. Okay, so when you sign up for this experience, you will be the first to get the launch email, and you will qualify to get 30% off the full price. If you aren't new here, you know I did my first live event at my home on June 24. If you are new here now, you know, I have been creating my podcast and Instagram platform for two and a half years and so many of you wanted a live event. Yes, in my mind. I knew it'd be great, great live event, but what the fuck, I'd never done a paid live event. And this wasn't my daughter's 16th birthday or my son's Bar Mitzvah. This was like a real paid event. This was in my home with all my midlife female Perfect Strangers showing up. This was not a local la event for my current friends. I called it the midlife baby shower experience where we weren't going to be celebrating our kids, but celebrating taking care of ourselves in the second half of life. It was a magical day, more intimate intimacy, connection and growth than any of us have even expected. No one wanted to leave. And we're all on a huge group chat huge there were like 13 of us and we talk every day we check in on each other we know what's going on each other's lives. This day was enchanted sound bath luxuriousness beyond measure I don't know if luxuriousness is a word but maybe luxury pink pillows and poufs perfect la summer day. Gorgeous chakra balancing with customized crystals and semi precious stone beading based on your chakra vibes, customized fragrance aroma bar based on our unique midlife selves. Were you looking for more libido inner strength for empty nest and so much more? At this midlife table during our launch, we had exquisite flowers, lavender crystal goblets, stunning floral plates and gold flatware. amazing chef made food no details not accounted for. Then I passed around a deck of little white pieces of paper with all the hot midlife topics that I talk about on my Instagram and podcast. Midlife self reinvention, starting small invisibility figuring out what's next for us and empty nest, novelty relevance, Marriage Divorce, being able to quiet our inner bitches and mute the external peanut gallery, get ourselves out of the midlife waiting rooms and start choosing ourselves. Each new woman at the midlife table would pick the topic of their choice they would openly respond to and all of us would respond in a very intimate and vulnerable conversation. While the day was packed with luxury

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Heart filling activities, sound bass and pure beauty. Every woman reached out to me to say that hands down. The most moving and powerful part of the day was our midlife brunch table conversation that I curated. Lately I've been thinking about my own midlife table, and what that means to me. I've been trying to think about it in a way to talk about like friendships and owning your spot or your own midlife table, and creating space for other women who really who you really want. They're like vibe, women are here to see you grow and cheer you on. And I thought that Sex in the City would be a fun way to kind of frame that conversation. This little series is not an episode by episode recap of the new Sex in the City. I mean, who has time for that? Instead, it's just kind of a look at the dynamics the women in the show share, and how we can use them as inspiration in our own relationships and lives. So let's get into it. Okay, friendship. Sex in the City showcase the significance of friendships, highlighting that they are just as important as romantic relationships. We learned that friendships require nurturing and attention, just like the connections we have with our spouses and families. As Carrie literally says on the show, quote, friendships don't magically last 40 years, you have to invest in them. And that certainly takes effort. Look, we've all got shit to do between kids, teenagers, spouses, partners, jobs, aging parents, and pretty much everything else we have going on all the time. It can feel like Hello, what the fuck? And that's not even mentioning the perimenopause, menopause cluster of oh my god to our bodies, brains and souls. I don't have time to breathe, let alone have a conversation with another human being. And why the fuck am I sweating so much? And a lot of times many women come into this midlife journey feeling isolated or lacking that core group of supporting women, which can make this time feel more difficult than it needs to be. And it's already difficult enough. We all want to feel seen and heard. And now in this time in life, and we are basically in a type of kind of reverse puberty of sorts and nothing feels normal. What the fuck is normal anyway, but you know what I mean? Like you don't want to just like lay in bed all day with brownies, even though some days some days you definitely want to. I don't know, but at this sweaty Rayji muffin Toppy, sometimes empty nest hollow nagging feelings gets to be a lot.

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Am I going to sit my husband down and explain how a hot flash threw me off balance during yesterday's yoga class? Fuck Now am I gonna explain to him why I woke up six times sweating last night. While I might but he won't even really be listening. Anyway, let's be honest. I want to chat about with my girlfriends at the midlife brunch table. And we're all busy and we all have shit to do. And there's traffic it doesn't matter if you're a stay at home mom or career woman a combination of both. Or a desperate fucking housewife. We all have these big midlife feelings. One of my friends who's in the career working camp told me the other day that she's been doing these multimillion dollar presentations for this huge company for two decades. Then one day she set up to do it like her normal show. And her brain fogged and she couldn't even get the sentences out. This shit is so real. We cry, we scream and we search for answers and we want to feel connected to other women. No matter whether they have jobs inside the home outside the home. None of that matters. And I figured that out even more so at my live event at my home. We had women who had full time careers at companies we had women who were stay at home moms all of the sort and at the end of the day, it didn't matter whether you were like, quote A working outside of the home mom or not. We all have these cravings and feelings of wanting to feel connected. If you are craving feelings, feeling heard and valued and seen, if you're craving this midlife connection just like me and the women who came to my live event, and join me on Instagram and listen to my podcast weekly than this a week online intimate experience is for you. www the flexible neurotic.com forward slash waitlist. When you sign up for it you will be the first to get the launch email unqualified to get 30% off the full price. And that brunch table dynamic is what's really important. It doesn't have to be an everyday thing. It doesn't have to be like you have to text someone 900 times a day. But setting aside that time for you and midlife girls to catch up, shoot the shit gossip, talk about whatever you want to fucking feel like talking

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About is so important in this midlife journey. In my intimate experience, we are going to find that support and commiserate with each other. We need that girl connection that quote girl power if you want to go back to the Barbie land, but we want to talk about these topics I mentioned earlier, empty NAS, the feelings of starting small, are you willing to learn on the go? divorce, marriage, all the things these are such topics that are so part of our everyday right now. So let's build our tribe. Let's seek out people who naturally vibe with us and that possess skills or experiences that complement our own. Just think about how each of the women on Sex in the City has her unique strengths and passions. Kay First, there's Carrie, she had an eye for fashion and always knew the latest trends. But she also brought wit vulnerability and introspection to every brunch conversation. Then there's Samantha, she was the expert on all things sex and never shied away from pushing the boundaries of female sexuality and personal independence. Then there's Miranda, a career driven woman, she provides a logical and analytical perspective on balancing work, love and personal lives and she can be a little bit judgey. Okay, Charlotte, the hopeless romantic of the group. She's like the Pinterest wife, she encouraged everyone to be open and vulnerable about their desires and love and embrace the idea of a fairytale romance with probably the perfect place setting. Even if it's only for a moment. You guys see what I'm saying? Each of those women contributes a unique viewpoint and perspective to the group dynamic. They challenged and expanded each other's views, leading to important conversations that often took place during the literal and metaphorical brunch table of the show. And of course, less serious, but equally valuable conversations about life, society, partners and families. You know, it's sometimes nice just to have a sounding board or a cheer squad, or a sisterhood of some sort to tell you that you're not being crazy about asking your teen son to pick up his socks for the 45th fucking time. And you're not crazy that you feel like your brain is fogging. Like I said, the women from my live event. We all have a group text right now and we all know like, Is someone getting surgery? Or is this happening or today's teen son's birthday or whatever it is, and we're here to cheer each other on. maintaining friendships is hard work. But like I said, it takes fucking work, work work, but it's so worth it. And I don't just mean communication and seeing each other mentally. It can take a lot to navigate the sometimes difficult waters of friendship look, I wish I could say friendship is all rainbows and sunshine. But let's be honest, we're all in our 40s 50s 60s and we know that keeping old friendships and making new friends is sometimes easier said than done. This is why my new midlife table brunch experience. This a week two hour zoom call in an intimate setting and my midlife table is going to be magical. I got 480 unique direct messages DMS from individual women telling me various reasons why they couldn't come to my in person event at my home on June 24, where we had the in person midlife brunch table. Some women had a family wedding, their high school son's lacrosse tournament, a family trip to Greece, elderly parents or recent surgery, and the travel was involved was coming to LA to my house. So for all of you if you're one of the 480 or any of the rest, and you couldn't come to my live event on June 24. Here it is, as I promised the virtual version. And if you know me, you know I'm loyal as fuck and honest as fuck and I will never back down on a promise. I spent the summer planning this and thinking about how to bring this midlife brunch table experience to you in your home. It's here and it's eight weeks with me. Go to my website www the flexible neurotic.com forward slash waitlist and sign up for the VIP waitlist. You will be the first to get the launch emails for the program to sign up and you will qualify for the 30% discount from the original price. There will be limited spots as I want this to be cozy and intimate. Like I said earlier, this is our fucking midlife brunch table. We're gonna know everyone's names I might make you were paying for an

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Time men girls energy. Just kidding. Go to my website again, I promise you, you will be the first to know. Take the women from sex sex in the city for example. They all had their problems with each other at one point. Charlotte thought Samantha was a bit sloppy and Samantha thought Charlotte was judgey one time Carrie ditch Miranda at a restaurant because big offered to cook her veal. We all have a tendency to be a little selfish sometimes, and view our friends and relationships through a lens of what we want for ourselves instead of what they may want in their lives. It can be messy as fuck. And I'm not preaching perfection, believe me, but I'm suggesting that as we move through this midlife journey, we focus on supporting others on their journey as well. It might not be the same as your journey and that's okay. This is the midlife fucking remix brunch table. We've earned the right to curate it with people we want. During the show. It was a significant plot point that Sharla was trying to get pregnant and was having a lot of trouble then boom. One day Miranda gets pregnant after pity fucking Steve and she's isn't even sure she's gonna keep the baby. Of course, this sets Charlotte off the rails because Miranda has the one thing that Charlotte wants but can have and Miranda is not even sure she wants it. It was undoubtedly a challenging situation for Charlotte and she struggled to cope throughout the episode. However, eventually, she realized that she and Miranda had different goals and priorities. As a friend, she understood the importance of supporting Miranda on her own unique journey. This is the midlife energy we're all looking for women who choose themselves and let others choose that no judgement, get the fucking Botox don't get the fucking Botox, but don't rip into someone who doesn't do as you do. You may not always agree with your friends choices, but it's important to support them as you would want to be supported. As long as they're not planning to take someone out or doing something weirdly illegal. Your job as a friend is to be there for them. No questions asked. It doesn't mean you don't reflect or mirror things, but it just means no judge jiwaji. And remember, what they do in their life is about them. It's not about fucking you. Like I said, if you're getting the Botox, don't get the Botox, get the Botox don't get the Botox. It's their decision. And it's your decision. And we can all have different ideas all at the same time. Okay, friendship edits, and audits. Okay. So, friendship, like I said, is not always easy. And it does take a shit ton of effort. I mean, I have my own feelings on this. And that could be six other episodes. So just as your life is evolving and changing, you have to expect the same for your friends. Let's talk about this idea of jealousy versus inspiration. Let's talk about that for a second. Instead of feeling jealous or getting caught up in competition, because you see your friend or someone on social media doing something that maybe you want to be doing. Perhaps you reframe that. And if you're feeling envious, think to yourself, is that something that I want to be doing? And is that why I'm having that feeling? Did your stay at home mom friend decide to return to work and you're kind of judging her because you kind of wish you could go back to work. Ask her how she made that transition and see how she's enjoying it is your friend retiring early, ask her about how she knew it was time and what exciting plan she has in store before you go go to quickly jump or whatever, judge her. By transforming comparison into inspiration and exploration, we can combat those harmful senses of competition that could potentially jeopardize a friendship. But this does bring us to the other end of the spectrum, knowing when to step away or take a break from a friend. It can happen to anyone, it's happened to me plenty of times. I mean, look at the show that we're talking about. And just like that SOS Samantha Jones, we miss you, and going through a quote friend break or even a quote break up can just feel it feel just as bad as a breakup with a romantic partner. Sometimes even worse, if you've known that person forever. female friendships by nature are emotionally very intimate. We share a lot with our friends and we confide in them about the ups and the downs of our lives. But sometimes your friendship runs its course. And especially during midlife, we might find that some of the people we thought we could always count on aren't able to be there anymore, for whatever reason. This can be really fucking hard. But it's important to remember that friendships like seasons can go through changes. You may find yourself out of sync with a particular friend for a little bit, six months a year, whatever and that

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It's okay. It doesn't necessarily mean you have to have this dramatic breakup or cut them out of your life entirely. But if you feel that someone in your circle isn't providing the support, or the time you need or just makes you feel fucking zapped of energy, it might be time for a friendship at it. Edit how often you reach out or what activities you include them in. Maybe you don't want to plan like a wine night with them as often as you used to. Maybe you just catch up for coffee next time you're both free, the season can always come back around. But don't put effort into a relationship that's not giving you equal effort.

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If there's one thing we can all take from Sex in the City besides the zingers, and the outrageously fat, fabulous fashion, it's how important it is for women to support one another and have a community around them for support and encouragement with our friends. The midlife journey can be an adventure as opposed as opposed to a fucking challenge all the time. And as Carrie one said, You'll never get through it without your friends. Thank you guys for listening to this minisode and I hope you had some moments where you felt seen and heard we all do. So many midlife women are having all these fields and cravings for connection. And for donuts. Just kidding, but not hopefully you even got some golden nuggets of wisdom out of it. This a week intimate live zoom, midlife remix, brunch table experience is fun, connected and meaningful. I have been wanting to have these conversations about friendship, evolution, and who we keep in our lives and why. And I try to bring them up as much as I can during my podcast and my Instagram posts. But I felt like this little mini series, plus the intimate live experience that we could actually get to more of these conversations and more frequently and more intimately in a cozier space. So the midlife remix brunch table, the Super Rad course slash experience that I've been working like crazy on. So if you remember my midlife baby shower, where we weren't celebrating our kids, but celebrating taking care of ourselves, and thought it sounded like a good time, then this course slash experience will be exactly your vibe. Join our group chat, it's going to be full of some of the most magical, smart, warm women that you will have ever met and it's completely virtual so you can do it in your pajamas. Honestly, ideal. I'm super excited to share more about this in the upcoming weeks. Hopefully I've piqued your interest. As always, let me know what you think. If you thought this was a fun conversation, share it with a friend. Each week we're going to do a little deep dive on the fabulous ladies of Sex in the City and the friendship or archetypes that they represent and how we can draw inspiration from them or learn from their mistakes in our own lives. So many things to think about in midlife friendships. Stay tuned. And of course, you know that writing a review is fucking annoying, but it is so helpful for a podcast to grow. share this episode with some midlife friends who like midlife shed and please fucking subscribe. I get more listeners when you subscribe because the platform pushes my podcasts out to more people. Okay, follow me on my instagram at the flexible neurotic and again for the course www the flexible neurotic.com forward slash waitlist Talk soon