Scared And Doing it Anyway!

Sarah Milken (00:00:04) - Hey peeps. Welcome to the Flexible Neurotic Podcast. I'm your host, Dr. Sarah Milken. Yeah, you heard that right? I'm a real PhD doctor. Long, long ago, like last fucking year, I was sitting in the midlife funk wondering, was this it for me? That day I realized I needed to get off my ass and start my midlife remix. I dusted off my PhD, wiped the menopause sweat off my forehead, grabbed my golden shit shovel, and started digging deep to all my midlife bitches. It's not just luck, coffee and hormones that get you through your midlife remix. It's action steps. Let's do this. Hey peeps, it's me again, Dr. Sarah Milken, the flexible neurotic with a new mini so that I put together from my live zoom called some of you guys attended last week. Literally 90 people signed up for that. I was blown away. I know that not everyone can make it and I felt like I shared some really good nuggets and goodies about being scared and doing it anyway and what the midlife baby shower experience was gonna be about.

Sarah Milken (00:01:16) - It's really not just about the event, it's about all of the concepts that we're talking about here on my podcast and my Instagram about strategies and self-limiting beliefs that are keeping us from getting out of the midlife waiting room, from thinking about ways to rebrand herself and feel that like  again in midlife I talk about my own experiences. I talk about it through my lens of what I'm doing cuz you know that this whole experience is about me living out everything that you guys and I are talking about. The dreaded mid lave waiting room can be very cozy and very routine and very predictable and you feel comfortable in it and safe, but it's fucking boring and I really want you guys to think about jumping out of it with me. It's scary, it's hard. You feel like people are judging you, your inner bitch is judging you too.

Sarah Milken (00:02:21) - But I really want you to take the time, listen to this quick mini so, and think about ways that you're limiting yourself and like one small thing that you could do today, whether it's signing up for my midlife baby shower experience or sending that email that you've really wanted to send or signing up for that summer thing that's been on your mind. I really want us to stretch kind of doing like mid life's hot summertime. Okay you guys, it's gonna start. Hi everyone. I'm Dr. Sarah Milken, the flexible neurotic. I'm sure you know who I am if you're here. I'm so excited. I think like 90 of you signed up for this. I just have to say I've never done this before. I don't know how to do it. I haven't even done a practice run. I'm fully sweating down my armpits even though I put real deodorant on not even organic deodorant.

Sarah Milken (00:03:14) - I couldn't find my nipple covers. So I'm having like a whole nipple situation because I'm blasting the air for my sweat dripping down my body. But I'm just gonna say I'm doing this messy, I'm doing this for you. I'm doing this for me cuz I'm so excited that all of you guys are here. I'm gonna take a deep breath, everyone take a deep breath with me. I'm doing this super messy and I'm kind of done being perfect. I've spent my whole life really trying to be perfect, perfect hair, perfect makeup, perfect grades, Ivy League school, PhD, all the fucking benchmarks. Check, check, check, two kids, husband, check, check. And now I feel like in midlife I am moving into this space of I'm done with half doses. I'm done, done, done. I'm done with shoulds. I'm moving into the space of hell. Yes, and I wanna do that.

Sarah Milken (00:04:11) - This is our time guys. I'm 48. I'm sure some of you are 48, some of you might be 40, some of you might be 68. But wherever you are in that time spectrum, it's midlife baby. And we are here to get our midlife obsession on. It's not about being narcissistic, it's about putting ourselves on the front burner. I had a son graduate from high school yesterday, which is fucking crazy and we're gonna get into that in a little bit. I'm gonna be a half empty nester, which is so crazy, so crazy. And I'm sure some of you guys saw my mental breakdown on Instagram the day before graduation. I was on the treadmill and hell broke loose. What was interesting about it is it felt like that day everything felt like I was empty. Like what the fuck is happening? I cannot possibly do this for one more second.

Sarah Milken (00:05:08) - But what was really interesting is yesterday at graduation, the day after my breakdown, I was so nervous that I was gonna have a mental breakdown. But what I found was is I was actually weirdly tranquil and calm with my heart full instead of empty. I was so proud of the work Instagram husband and I have done in creating this kid and contributing to who he is and he just seemed so happy and satisfied and he was there with all of his friends and he is going to college in August and I thought, oh my god, my heart is so full. Of course over the next few days and few months when I'm getting ready to swept my balls off in Philadelphia and a hundred percent humidity and have really bad hair, I'm sure I'm gonna shed some more tears. But I will say that it was kind of comforting for those two days to go from empty to full crazy.

Sarah Milken (00:06:08) - So if you guys are here, it means that you're all interested in my podcast, my Instagram, obviously me and my midlife baby shower experience. So many of you guys resonated with that message of having a midlife baby shower. At first I was like, if I post this, people might think it's really weird, but what happened was I posted it and like over 5,000 people liked the Instagram post. And basically the essence if you didn't see it was hey, you guys we're having a, I'm having a midlife baby shower, but let's celebrate not our kids but celebrate ourselves. Moving into the next stage of life, there were like 5,000 likes, 500 comments. Everybody was like, oh my god, I'm in, I'm in. So I thought, okay, everyone's been asking me for a live event for so long, but it seems so scary to me. Everything about my midlife remix in the past two and a half years, excuse me, including today is scary because every single thing is something I haven't done before.

Sarah Milken (00:07:13) - I've never done a podcast, I've never had an Instagram account, even a personal one before this whole thing started. I've never done a live zoom with 90 people. I've never done a live event. I've never asked people for money, I've never done any of these things. And one of the biggest takeaways I'll tell you from this entire two and a half year experiment with myself is that if you don't take risk, there's no fucking change. You keep spinning on the hamster wheel thinking what if, what if, what if? And nothing ever changes. And the only way to interrupt that hamster wheel is to take that risk, put yourself out there and feel really fucking uncomfortable. I mean even my Instagram husband was like, oh my god, 90 people signed up for your call. That's crazy. Like you've never even done this before. And I'm like, I know.

Sarah Milken (00:08:07) - I'm just gonna be honest. Tell everyone that I have no idea what I'm doing. I don't know how to do chats, I don't know how to bring people in. I don't know how to switch cameras on and off. I'm just gonna be myself and be here. So I'm gonna go through some of the questions that you guys have been, been DMing me so that you can all get to hear some of the answers of the most popular questions. Basically, what is the midlife baby shower experience? It's a curated experience inviting you to my midlife table. I have a bunch of seats at my midlife table for like vibed women who are wanting more in midlife. If you're a woman who you can be a career woman, you can be a housewife or whatever you wanna call it, a stay-at-home mom like I've been for the past 18 years, you can just be a woman who's bored as fuck itching for the next big thing.

Sarah Milken (00:09:04) - We all seek novelty. Research shows that every five to seven years we want something new. Whether that, well you don't want an affair, but that's why people have affairs. My husband bought a sports car. Some people get into porn, some people get into gambling, some people get into, I don't know, shopping, riding horses, doing whatever. But it's because we're itchy for something new and it's not about having another kid, it's about having something that's our own. When I started this podcast I was like, I'm so fucking itchy all over. I've gotta find something that's going to bring that energy of feeling a little bit scared, a lot scared, looking forward to it, stepping back kind of in that risk dipping dip out mentality. It's probably like my son with uh, fantasy football. You kind of get a little bit of a dopamine hit when you're like, yeah, I put out a podcast episode and then the dopamine starts to crash when you're like, wait, it's my first episode and only 60 people listen to it.

Sarah Milken (00:10:11) - It's all about that feeling of the highs and lows. Otherwise life is boring. It's like again the midlife fucking hamster wheel. So this is a day, a full fucking day in my backyard. You might be asking why my backyard and not a hotel or a restaurant. I chose my backyard because I feel like so much of my podcast and my Instagram is about me, my family, my house being in my own space and hi Denise being in my own space. You guys can turn your cameras on if you want. I just was saving people who like hadn't brushed their hair or were like sweating down their armpits like me in my home. I felt like I could create a spa-like experience without the spa and kind of create this, I don't wanna say womb, but this really sort of safe environment for deep conversations, reflections a lot of woowoo.

Sarah Milken (00:11:06) - There's gonna be a woman who's helping us look at our chakras and there's, we're each gonna get, be able to pick crystals that are assigned with our own channels, chakras and inner energy. It's sort of like Tony Robbins meets Bar mitzvah because then we're gonna move into a midlife initiation ceremony where we're not being bar mitzvah but we're doing like a ceremonial tea with a beautiful sound bath. One of the best sound bath women in Los Angeles who is all over town right now and she's a midlife woman too. And this is part of her midlife free mix with starting this company and she has such a beautiful energy and in this midlife initiation ceremony, we are going to take ourselves into the next stage of midlife really figuring out what's next for us and stirring the midlife pot. It's so crazy that I started a podcast and you guys all know what it is and I'm just like, look at me with my $60 microphone in my house.

Sarah Milken (00:12:07) - It's amazing the things that can happen when you put yourself out there Instagram and podcast. Oh my god, I'm so excited you guys are here and I'm still sweating even though the air conditioning's on. Okay, so let's start with the questions. What if I can't attend the dinner on Friday night? Can I still come? Of course you can. It's for everyone. But I felt like if you were flying in and you didn't wanna have dinner by yourself, cuz I know what that feels like. I went to the I Am Stripes Naomi Watts event in New York. Remember I told you I just like randomly bought a ticket packed carry on for the first time. My husband didn't believe I would fucking go by myself cuz I'm not like the traveler by yourself kind of person. But I did it just to stick it to him and to show myself that I could do it and it ended up being the best weekend.

Sarah Milken (00:12:55) - But I had that like awkward night of like sitting and eating dinner by myself and blah blah blah. So I was like, I don't want people to feel that way. We're gonna do a casual dinner either at my house or a restaurant. So that's the dinner situation. Are people staying at my house? Absolutely not. I am the least hostess with the mostess. I will not have perfectly curated guest sheets. I can barely deal with my own children. I have a list of hotels that you guys can pick from. It's like literally the entire range of hotels in Los Angeles. What airport do I fly into? Lax, you guys lax have, has anyone been to LAX type in the chat? Yes or no? Okay. Yes. Has anyone not been to lax? No. Okay. You guys LAX can feel a little bit scary but you can do it honestly if you can do like the New York airports, you can do the LA airports.

Sarah Milken (00:13:53) - None of the airports are glamorous or amazing, but they're all okay and if I can survive, anyone can. Okay, what can I expect on Saturday? Okay, we talked about that a little bit. So we're gonna start at 10. You guys are gonna come in. There might be a harp playing because I had a harpist at my own baby shower when I actually had my first kid and I thought, what did I have at my baby shower that I would want at my midlife baby shower? And it was a har check. Okay, then we are going to get into deep conversation, introduce everyone, the whole thing. Then we're gonna do the chakra crystal stones, that whole process so that we can set our intentions for the day. This is all woo shit by the way, that I've never done before. So you guys are all doing it for the first time with me.

Sarah Milken (00:14:44) - It's not like I'm some kind of sound bath expert or crystal expert. Again, my midlife remix is about doing it all together with you. Then we're gonna have an amazing lunch. I'm not gonna share what that is, but if you have food allergies, message me. You know, I check my messages. I'm the only person in my Instagram tell me my daughter is a peanut allergy. I totally fucking get it. You're not gonna be annoying, you're just gonna tell me what it is and we're gonna handle it. Okay? Then we're doing the midlife initiation ceremony where we have the ceremonial tea, we have the amazing sound bath, pink cushions, pink blankets. We're not gonna be under the blankets because it's gonna be 4,000 degrees and yes, I'm gonna have fans cuz it is gonna be June. Hopefully it's not June gloom. You guys, all my post-it notes are falling off and I don't have tape.

Sarah Milken (00:15:38) - And then more deep conversation, I'm leaving some of the surprise things out. There might be two creative expression exercises where we might be making semi-precious necklaces and bracelets. Maybe we might be making custom fragrances maybe. So it's really a day. It's not a day about a workshop, it's not a day about learning the 17 parts of menopause. It's nothing like that. It is an invitation to celebrate yourself, to kick off midlife. It is an invitation to say yes to you. It's an invitation out of the fucking midlife waiting room. Believe me, you guys have heard me say it a million times. I was waiting for my hus, my husband to rescue me from the humdrum of midlife. I thought, oh, he's like a established career guy. He's gonna come here, he's gonna tell me exactly what I should be doing. He never fucking came the Amazon package with the newly self reinvented identity that never came either.

Sarah Milken (00:16:42) - The only thing that did come is me being fucking scared and saying, okay, what's next for me? And I'm just gonna start a podcast. I have no idea how to do that. I don't even know how to post on Instagram, but I'm just gonna put myself out there. And I created this like beautiful spark of energy for myself and all these other women who are like, oh my god, I feel that way too. I want a ticket out of the midlife waiting room. And so here I am saying come to my house, come hang out with me. Come hang out with this energy and choose you. Take the risk on you. It's really about us creating a safe, creative, beautiful space where we can be our authentic selves. This is not like a bunch of best friends who are showing up at my house and doing kind of like the high school thing of like that's your table and this is my table.

Sarah Milken (00:17:35) - We're all at the same table. I actually don't know most of the women who are coming to the event. So it's not like best friends, best friends, best friends, it's all new women all together without prior connections come as who you are, your authentic self. You don't have to be the perfect carpool mom or the perfect wife or the person that your neighbor thinks you are. You just have to come as you and come as yourself. And that is the space and the feeling that I am creating here. Okay, next question. Anything planned for Sunday? No. Sunday you're gonna be fucking exhausted and you're gonna wanna drive or fly home because you're going to be so, I mean you're gonna be so creatively inspired from the day before, but you're gonna be tired too cuz we're doing a lot of energy work and kind of releasing all of the shit that we've been holding onto that like luggage of how can I do this?

Sarah Milken (00:18:31) - All the inner bitch talk, the external peanut gallery. Like what's she gonna think if I start a podcast, what's she gonna think? If I show up at the midlife baby shower, what's she gonna think if this happens? Like we're done with that shit guys. Let's all come to my midlife table and feel this experience. Okay, can you bring a friend? Sure if they buy a ticket, I don't have any duos coming yet, but if you want to I'd love to have you. Okay, what should I bring? Nothing. Just bring fucking you and bring your energy of wanting to get out of the midlife waiting room cuz I know what that feels like. Okay, what should I wear? Think baby shower. But like baby shower casual, not baby shower fancy. Knowing me I'll be wearing a long cotton dress because cotton absorbs sweat. Then I can shove the long dress in between my legs because I'll have like sweaty crotch and I like to absorb the sweat.

Sarah Milken (00:19:30) - It was sort of like a graduation yesterday when I was like absorbing the sweat underneath my legs and all my crevices. I've even tried all the inner thigh like chafing things like when I was in New York and I'm sure I'm gonna have to rebuy it all again when I take Jake to Philadelphia cuz talk about like a sweaty hot, humid dorm room with like my thighs touching. No chance. Oh my god. Okay, I wanna open this up to questions that you guys might have that I haven't answered. Don't feel like you have to ask a question, but if you have one that I haven't answered, I wanna hear it. If I can figure out how to do this chat. Anyone? Anyone? Any questions? My God, you guys have answered all of your questions and the air conditioning is finally kicking in. Okay. Oh, okay. Let's see.

Sarah Milken (00:20:21) - Payment plan. How far are you from lax? Okay, look, if there's LA traffic, so no traffic, I would say 20 minutes traffic. 30 ish. Okay, I can't make it to the in-person event. So can you talk about a virtual option? A hundred percent. I'm not making any promises. There are a lot of requests for the virtual option because yes, it is a summer date and there's a lot of people who have travel plans. Honestly, you guys, every date is a fucked up date. Like if I say July, it's the 4th of July. If I say August, people are Dr. Dropping off their, you know, kids at college. If I say September, my kids are back in school and it's um, the two Jewish holidays. If I say October, there's 8 million menopause events. If I say November, it's Thanksgiving. If I say December, it's Christmas. If I say January, January's ish, February's probably like the most decent month.

Sarah Milken (00:21:22) - It may not be the best weather in LA but it's probably better than the east coast. Um, then we move into spring break and then we move into graduations again. So kind of every month is a fucked up month. So that's why I was like, you know what, I'm just gonna put it out there and whether it's six people or 30 people, it's just gonna happen and anyone who can't come, okay, I jumped on late. Anyone who can't come, there will be more events in the future, but they're not planned yet. I have no idea. So if there's an inkling of a chance you can make it to this event, come to it because like I said, Jake is, I'm dropping him off in August. I haven't announced this yet, but I have a book and process and so I'm gonna be spending a lot of time doing that too.

Sarah Milken (00:22:09) - So I'm not sure when the next event's gonna be. Let's see start time. Yeah, we are starting at 10 and ending around four ish, five ish, depending on how long the um, sound bath midlife initiation ceremony goes on. Is the Friday night dinner at a restaurant? Potentially at a restaurant, potentially at my house. It depends on how many people are actually coming to the Friday night. Anyone else who have I missed? Wait, let me go back. Payment plan, yes, there's a payment plan where you can pay in two different installments. Hold on, I'm going through all these questions, I think I got all of 'em. Okay, so let's get back to my list of questions here. Type a heart if you're ready to invest in yourself. It doesn't have to be with me you guys. This is not like a salesy pitch. I'm the worst fucking salesman in the entire universe.

Sarah Milken (00:23:11) - I just wanna know if you're here, it means that the midlife, its are on your mind. It means that you're in the midlife fucking waiting room. Believe me, even though I've started this podcast, I'm still in the midlife waiting room. I'm like, oh, live event. Oh, too scary. Oh, charge money. Oh, too scary. Oh, do a live zoom. Oh, too scary. Like every single day is like the midlife waiting room. But the thing is you gotta like take the step out, take a break, take the step out, take the break. Because if you don't take the step out, you never know what the good feeling on the other side is. Like the golden ticket. And it does feel rocky and it does feel bumpy, but it's sure as hell better than being bored as fuck and wondering why you didn't do something a year ago.

Sarah Milken (00:23:59) - You know? So I'm here. Oh, I love all the hearts you guys. Okay, so because I'm not a salesperson and I don't have no idea how to do this, this is what I'm gonna say. If you are interested in jumping out of the midlife waiting room and coming to hang out with me at my house for the day, a full day of luxury spa, heart spa, beautiful things, come hang out with me. I'm gonna put the link, you guys are gonna sign up. I have a special surprise that if you sign up today by 5:00 PM Pacific Standard Time, I guess that's 8:00 PM Eastern time, I will take $200 off the ticket. This event you guys, I'm not making money with this. Like really like it's costing me so much to put this event together. This event is because I wanna do it and I want to do this for our community and to give women a chance to feel the experiences that we wanna feel, that we're all craving, we're craving connection with like vibed women, we're craving connection with new women.

Sarah Milken (00:25:20) - We're craving connection with ourselves about what the next part of midlife is gonna look like. So if you sign up by 5:00 PM there will be a $200 discount. I'm in the planning stages figuring out all of the details for this really cool experience. I want you there. I want you at my midlife table. If there's any questions you guys please DM me because I'm here and I love all of you and I wanna thank you from the bottom of my heart for being supporters of me, supporters of my midlife remix, supporters of my Instagram account, and supporters of my podcast. It's a shit ton of work and it's so worth it. And I love all of you guys and I hope you come to the event. I hope you invest in yourselves and if you can't come to this event, I can't promise when the next one will be, but there will be something at some point.

Sarah Milken (00:26:25) - So I love you. Thank you. And if you guys have any questions, please DM me. And thanks for being here with me being messy and having no idea what the fuck I'm doing. I don't even know how to like go into the chats. Oh, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. So sweet. I appreciate it. Okay you guys, big kisses and I love you and I hope you sign up and I hope you see, I see you at my house on June 24th. Talk soon. Hey peeps, it's me again. I was so nervous with my first ever live Zoom call with 90 of you signed up. Oh my fucking god, I didn't have a script. I've never run a zoom room. I had no idea what to even expect or do. I was sweating the entire time the air conditioning was like working. But like I still had that like layer of mist and grossness, the under boob sweat thing.

Sarah Milken (00:27:18) - I didn't even do a test run. And you know, I had teen sons graduation the day before. What the fuck? And you know, Instagram husband popped in for a second, but he doesn't really know how to do a zoom room either. So I was like, fuck it, we're just gonna try this. But this is what the midlife remix, self reinvention journey is all about. It's about being scared and doing it anyway. It's about saying yes to new experiences and opportunities like this one, jumping into the midlife baby shower experience and the zoom room. Even though I was sweating all over and kind of nervous, I was just going to do it and I was gonna do my best and I was just gonna be me and be vulnerable. I hope you enjoyed it. So many women messaged me and they were like, Sarah, you nailed it.

Sarah Milken (00:28:06) - Good job. And that made me feel so good cuz I was like, oh my god, this could have gone south. I'm so excited to meet you guys, the ones who have signed up for the midlife baby shower experience. We're gonna do the live hug in person, share all the energy. Everything's pink, everything's like just all flexible neurotic style. And if you can't come, there won't be one for a very long time if there is another one at all. But there will be other things in store that you will be able to participate in and join the flexible neurotic  Okay. You guys know the gold is dripping off of the, off of these nuggets. I can't even speak because I'm packing for fucking Hawaii. We leave tomorrow morning and tonight we have our 30 year high school reunion, Instagram husband and I, you know the drill we met in ninth grade, so yes, 10 years ago we went to our 20 year and tonight is our 30 year.

Sarah Milken (00:29:04) - Oh my God. Okay, the rest, you know what to do. Subscribe to the fucking podcast, share the podcasts with some midlife friends, write a fucking review. All of those things are an extra step if I could speak. But guess what? They're all things that help me grow my podcast. In the podcast algorithm. Everything's an algorithm, right? Okay. And you know, follow me at the Instagram handle. I can't even speak the flexible, neurotic. I gotta go, I gotta makeup on. I have to find a fucking outfit that's like warm enough, cool enough. All the things like midlife body style. Okay, you guys love, you talk soon.