Midlife Identity Shakeup & OMG! LOL’s

Anna Przy 0:00

I just want people to have permission to not feel like they have to do it all the time. Like, like, I just want to be that person to let you know it's okay to do less that person who lets you know that it's okay to not want more. I think that was a really hard one for me too, like that, that realizing that maybe I don't want to be the president of the company. Maybe I'm happier. Knowing that I stay in this, you know, where I'm at. And I do the tasks I know I can do and I don't take on more tests than that and I don't get paid more. That's like, that's okay.

Sarah Milken 0:38

Hey, peeps, welcome to the flexible neurotic podcast. I'm your host, Dr. Sarah Milken. Yeah, you heard that right. I'm a real PhD doctor. Long, long ago, like last fucking year. I was sitting in the midlife funk wondering, was this it for me? That day, I realized I needed to get off my ass and start my midlife remix. I dusted off my PhD wipe the menopause, sweat off my forehead, grabbed my golden shit shovel and started digging deep to all my midlife bitches. It's not just luck, coffee and hormones that get you through your midlife remix. It's action steps. Let's do this. Welcome to the flexible neurotic Podcast. I'm Dr. Sarah Milken, the flexible neurotic Today's guest is fab. She's a huge Tiktok influencer, manifester and intention setter. She says she is the share of all experiences rather than just an advice giver. She's real and hilarious and beyond relatable. She says what you're thinking, having been diagnosed with anorexia, ADHD and depression having her event planning job cancelled due to the pandemic she hit rock bottom, she posted funny content on Tik Tok as her healing journey. And in 2020 of Thanksgiving, her post went viral. Her Tik Tok has 500,000 followers and 10 point 6 million likes. She refers to herself as an elder millennial and very tired. I mean, who isn't tired? Her trademark saying it's called manifesting look it up. As soon as you see her on Instagram or Tik Tok, you're hooked. It's one relatable and hysterical post after the other her message to followers is take the pressure off yourself. It's not worth it. Do you take a fucking nap? Do whatever you need to do and don't feel guilty about it with a book deal signed and live shows in the mix. This guest is Anna Prissy. Hi Anna. You're gonna tell me your real last name. Now. My last

Anna Przy 2:45

name is przybylski. Yeah, that's why people call you Anna prison. And yeah, Krizia pres or P. Okay, because it's too long.

Sarah Milken 2:56

Like it is too long. It's

Anna Przy 2:57

way too long. And I I obviously had no idea that I was going to go into any form of entertainment. When I got married, so I was like, yeah, no problem. 10 letters. One vowel. Easy. Yeah, and now it's like, oh, God, that's never gonna work. Sorry.

Sarah Milken 3:15

Okay. Wait, spell your last name in case people want to look it up.

Anna Przy 3:19

PRZYBYLSK I?

Sarah Milken 3:23

Okay, really? Okay, we're just gonna go with Anna przy. So it's P R zy. So yeah, Instagram handle reflects the abbreviated

Anna Przy 3:32

as Bilski anywhere online just because it's just too much.

Sarah Milken 3:37

Oh my god, it's so good. The intention of this episode is for us to dig deep with Anna on how your life can be this way one day, and then totally fucking different another day, because you made choices for yourself. And I was going to delight us with the truth and humor. Get ready. Okay, so Anna, we see you on your fab platforms of Instagram and Tiktok. And I told you before we started recording, I got home from an event last night. I'm like, Oh, I haven't been on Instagram all day. I'm just going to scroll through my feed get my dopamine hit. And I was like, I already liked Anna's post today. Why? Why is this coming back up again. But it was Katie Couric re sharing your posts that I had already liked yesterday. I mean, your stuff is getting everywhere and going wide. Now. Your platform is so hysterical and relatable. And just oh my god, your voice like the screaming kind of like whining voice is amazing. And the robe. I mean, like I kind of feel like I need to get a white robe and lay down in the snow and just yell to the sky.

Anna Przy 4:44

It's I it's so funny because I never really wore a robe before all of this and now like I have so many robes all the time.

Sarah Milken 4:53

It's a cheap costume. Right?

Anna Przy 4:55

It's just I was trying to find the thing that to me embodied Like somebody who like was at the end of their rope, and to me it was like a woman outside of her house in her row like that.

Sarah Milken 5:08

Yeah, but you're like in the snow with like a part of it. Yeah, you're in the snow with a rake and your two dogs. One of your dogs is wearing a t shirt.

Anna Przy 5:18

Yes, my Willie is now a closed swear. So he's especially adorable.

Sarah Milken 5:23

Oh, he's so cute. So tell us how you went from event planner to social media superstar content creator?

Anna Przy 5:32

Well, I'm still an event planner.

Sarah Milken 5:34

I know, I just found that out. I thought that this had taken over your whole life, I guess it has. And you have two full time jobs, which is that say

Anna Przy 5:41

I appreciate you saying that. Because that's one of those things that like I'll say, but I'm half joking, but it's true. I still work. I work two full time jobs now. Um, during the pandemic, obviously, we couldn't put on events. And especially in Michigan, our restrictions didn't get lifted until June of 2021. As far as gatherings over 25 So I was home for the first time in my life. I have literally worked every day since always. And yeah, we were home. I was consuming a lot of content, which I really hadn't done before. Like I was never a person who was on YouTube or what like on tick tock previously or watching any, you know, video content like that. And I needed something to fill my void and to entertain my brain all of the time so that I didn't have to sit with my feelings

Sarah Milken 6:37

and sourdough bread. Yeah, I

Anna Przy 6:39

did. I made I didn't make sourdough. But I did make a multigrain bread. Oh, good. I also made like 1000 dog treats.

Sarah Milken 6:48

Oh, did your dogs have diarrhea through your house?

Anna Przy 6:52

They did good. But yeah, I was definitely baking things for sure. But then it got you know, it gets old and at one point. You're just watching all this content and you're watching these people and I'm so enamored with them. You know, I'm falling in love with these people on Tik Tok. Like, I just want to be their friend. And it just felt like why? You know, why? Why not me? Um, I secretly my whole life. knew I was like, have a thing. And I could I could really be famous, but I don't know how and I am such a security Craver. So, it wasn't actually in the cards really, because I knew I was going to graduate and go get a job. And security to me was more important. Um,

Sarah Milken 7:40

and you also have parents who are were like high expectations. superberry farmers. Yeah. And so you sort of had a whole set of external expectations to live up to?

Anna Przy 7:51

Yes. Which is tough. I always say my parents are really really impressive people. They're really nice people. But busy. Right. So there's a lot of Yeah, self raising a lot of pressure. A lot of expectations that come along with that, um, a lot of encouraging me to go in one direction. Yeah, like you. You need to get a job. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So yeah, I literally I graduated, I started my job a month later, and I've been there ever since. And the pandemic was the first time like, for me, that was, that was actually my whole life falling apart. Because I would say previously, it had fallen apart once, but I was really young. And it was much easier to rebuild. Because I was still in school, I was, you know, learning new things about myself and starting over, sort of made sense at 19. But to be 32, and lose my job, have no income, my husband, no income, we're home, we've never been home before. It was kind of this, this awakening, where my whole life fell apart. And I survived. And my biggest fear had always been my life falling apart. Like I have been this person keeping it in line and keeping everything tight and in check and very event plenty of me. Just keeping you know, everything straight and details and you

Sarah Milken 9:29

went from structure to no structure at all. And I think a lot of us struggled with that. Because, you know, you've had every minute of your day planned out and now you're at home with your husband, both jobless. And what the fuck am I going to do now?

Anna Przy 9:42

Exactly. Yeah, and that had never happened before. And it was kind of that coming out of the like, oh my god, I survived like this wasn't. I started making content in September October of 2020. And yeah, it was like ice arrived. And then I really did need a reason to get up in the morning. And content creation for me was kind of that I was putting clothes on. I was getting out of bed like, this was giving me something to do every day. And then once I realized that I had something to say, because I didn't know that in the beginning, like, to me a lot of us feel that

Sarah Milken 10:23

way. Yeah, and I don't have a message from now. Yeah, I love this message from you. Because there's so many of us, especially midlife women, who are like, Oh, I've been at the same job for a million years, or I've been a stay at home mom for 10,000 years. And I'm living Groundhog Day. And now my kids are going off to college. And I don't really have anything to fucking say. Yep. But your messages? Yeah, you do have something to say. I think it's,

Anna Przy 10:45

it's really hard to know that you have something to say, because we get so fixated. And me, like, particularly on like, everybody is already experiencing whatever I'm experiencing. So they already know this. Because in my mind, there's nobody who everybody else knows more than me, obviously. Well, the second you realize people want to hear what you have to say. It's like, oh, I can keep saying things. I'll keep saying things. And then for me, it was like that every day, I just kept going and saying more and releasing more of what I knew. I kind of said the same thing about writing a book, like I don't have anything to say. And then when it came down to it, the book was already written. It already existed. Because I've been saying 30 seconds of information every single day for almost three years now.

Sarah Milken 11:37

And you're not a doctor and you didn't get six PhDs in it. You're basically saying all the things that we're all feeling and I think that that's the relatable Crux with you. You're like,

Anna Przy 11:47

it's just life experience. Yeah. hard won lessons. Yeah. All those

Sarah Milken 11:53

Yes. Like all these, like amazing isms. Okay, so you start creating this content. And, you know, I guess it's sort of like you started it, like as not a hobby, but something to do to heal yourself to fill your time to fill the endless days of the pandemic, that on Thanksgiving, you post something in 2020. And it goes viral. Tell us about that.

Anna Przy 12:17

I posted. How do we tell them that we're never coming back to Thanksgiving? Because it's so fun at home alone, where nobody makes you cry? And that's all I said. That was the whole tech pack. And how

Sarah Milken 12:30

many followers did you have at that time? Oh, like 400? Yeah, that's like my tick tock right now I just started it. I'm like, is this gonna move? Is this ever gonna go above like a few 100?

Anna Przy 12:43

And then even then, you know, I gained maybe like, 2000. And I was like, This is it. I am damaged. I'm famous that are going on

Sarah Milken 12:52

O'Brien.

Anna Przy 12:54

I was like, This is it. And you know what, that really did help. Because then it was like, I knew for sure people just wanted to know that life was hard. And other people saw that. Like, yeah, holidays are hard. And that's become one of my huge isms, you know, is the pocket family thing, where I do on the holidays, like, if you in case you don't hear this, when you go to see your family today, or in case you need this, you know, or in case you need to be talked out or going to see your family.

Sarah Milken 13:22

Yeah, in case you want to be like highly medicated or having a lot of alcohol before.

Anna Przy 13:27

Yeah, and I actually didn't go to Thanksgiving this year. So that was like, I was really, when I say like practicing what I preach like that was it. Like, it's like, I just cannot handle this. But I know that I would be walking into the lion's den, and I'm not in the mood. And I'm a human being and I have agency and I can say I'm not coming.

Sarah Milken 13:51

That's amazing. Because one of the like, kind of crux of this podcast is, no one's coming to save you. And you have to show your own self responsibility. And if your self responsibility is like, hey, guess what Thanksgiving fucking sucks for me. And my parents are gonna have to deal with the fact that I'm not going to be there. How did you get enough balls to just say, I'm not coming again. I mean, it's one thing to post during 2020 It's another thing to keep it going in 2022

Anna Przy 14:21

I have grown so much more than I ever would have because of posting. And because not that there's there is pressure, obviously, but because there is this little pressure to do it every day. I have to learn and grow. Because otherwise I have nothing to say, you know, whereas it's like, here's all the things I've learned. I'm going to stop learning now. I have to keep moving forward. And I have to keep putting these boundaries in place in my life that I talked about and and continue to do that. And the more I get to know myself through this because I do have to sit down every day and be like, what's going on? What are you thinking about? What Are you struggling with? How can we write about it? Because I love it, because that's what I'm doing.

Sarah Milken 15:06

It's like your journal. It's like, if you don't journal, it's like your tick tock is your journal to yourself and it creates an immense responsibility and accountability. Like you're accountable to yourself and your followers. You got to pose so you have to think Alison

Anna Przy 15:22

percent. Yeah. And I have to think, and it's like a loving want to or whatever, but it's so good for me. You know, I am, I am not even close to the person I was a year ago or two years ago, or three years ago. And that's crazy. Seeing how much I've changed, I also really liked when people say, I went back and watched your content from the beginning. I'm like, Oh, that's a that's a lot. And it was really fun watching you. All in a row, bro.

Sarah Milken 15:50

Yeah, I like that. And I've never done that, but And how was it for your husband, like kind of being around since the beginning of this and kind of seeing where you are now versus where you were a few years ago?

Anna Przy 16:03

Not that like the content creation thing is his dream come true. But me being this person that I'm growing into? It's it is it is what drew me to him in the first place. He he has been this like, calm down, like person since I met him like, he was the first person when I was saying, I have to go to see my parents because why? So well, because you have to go. He's like, why? He was just like this person. Person in my life. Who asked why all the time.

Sarah Milken 16:38

My husband does the same thing. And he's so compartmentalized. He's like, why are you stressing about that? Just say no. And I'm like, Wait, why? Yes. Yeah.

Anna Przy 16:47

And unfortunately, I had to come to it in my own time.

Sarah Milken 16:51

Yeah, no, please, my husband. I've been together. 27 years. I still don't fucking listen to him. Yeah, exactly.

Anna Przy 16:57

So now I'm like, I get what you were saying back there. About all that? No, but the rest of this? Oh, I don't think he thinks about it that much. I think that's good.

Sarah Milken 17:10

No, trust me. My husband's like, How did I become the husband of the midlife vagina? Like, is this what I signed up for? Not sure that this is what I sound like. I'm

Anna Przy 17:22

married to the lady, the one who's screaming outside that one.

Sarah Milken 17:27

Funny this morning, I was watching some of your posts and my husband's like, who's screaming what? Yeah. I'm like, this is like the hysterical woman that he's like, Okay, we'll talk about that later. Yeah, and

Anna Przy 17:41

I'll like hear my content come up on his phone, too, because he watches a lot of tech. Yeah. And every time I go, that's me. I know.

Sarah Milken 17:54

Oh, my gosh. So like, what I've heard you talk in the past about how you were so deeply depressed, and you felt you had no reason to get out of bed? And I think so many women, especially in midlife can relate to that feeling of like, I'm irrelevant. What the fuck now? What am I doing next. And mental health has become a very big deal. Not to say it wasn't a big deal before, but it's getting more of a spotlight now. And many Miss listeners are midlife women like me having like these hormone changes, that bring physiological and crazy shit that you can't control to your body to a certain extent. I mean, obviously, you can take hormones, and all of that, but these things are happening to us. And we have to make the decisions for ourselves and set those intentions of like, I'm going to make a different choice today. And it's so hard.

Anna Przy 18:51

I think a lot of that is just meeting yourself where you're at, which is so hard. Instead of the pushing past where you're at, constantly, like this isn't where I want to be. So I'm not going to be here. Let's that's gonna come back to bite you. Someday, you know, there's gonna come a point where you're going to be going 100 miles an hour, you're gonna hit a wall. And now it's kind of that like, Hey, before that happens every day, maybe just check in. Like, I am not good. I am exhausted. I you know, I'm gonna get that to say the bare minimum. But yeah, there are days when it's like, listen, Oh,

Sarah Milken 19:32

those are the clusterfuck days. This is the like, I'm seeing him bad and not doing a single thing today. And I think that that's what's so amazing about your platform is you're like, Hey, guys, if you feel like being naked in your white robe in the middle of the snow with a vacuum, go for it. Like saying saying in your bed for a nap, go for it and you're basically giving people permission that obviously we should all have amongst ourselves but you're the reminder that Okay,

Anna Przy 20:00

there isn't a lot of people out there telling you to do less. And I say this all the time. I don't look around and see people around me saying you should do less. You should slow down. You should. And I'm like, I'm gonna be that person. Yeah. Because then you're

Sarah Milken 20:15

not gonna saying meditate, stand on your head do Reiki, like you're not you're like, staring at the fucking wall. If

Anna Przy 20:20

you want to care what you do, just like,

Sarah Milken 20:22

can you play video games, which I love to shit

Anna Przy 20:25

that makes you miserable? I, to me, I It sounds simple. But it's complicated. It is like, no, if I have a free moment, I need to be doing X, Y and Z. It's like, No, you don't, do you?

Sarah Milken 20:40

And when what's the perfect meditation, and you're like, I don't even meditate. You're like, let me play video games for three hours while my husband plays his video games. Three hours, nobody's judging us and nobody cares.

Anna Przy 20:53

That's new. I started playing, if at all, most of the things in my life are new, besides my job, that the video games, you know, that was the thing. I was like, Oh, I have time. I have never considered sitting down and playing a game before. But it was like, I don't remember job. I have time. And I definitely don't want to be a part of my life right now. And it's just like, if you can find a thing that really can take you out of your life. And I don't say to do that a lot. I'm dyslexic. Yeah, meet yourself where you're at. But if you really need a break, sometimes it's like, I'm putting me in a bubble. I'm gonna come back to everything else after. Yeah,

Sarah Milken 21:33

I mean, some people not flicks and you play video games. Yeah, we all have our own thing. But that's what I love about your content is your like, pick whatever the fuck you want, and do it and talk bad about it.

Anna Przy 21:45

People I think the new something that I kind of came to you recently, when I've obviously been trying to figure out what I like me to do, I don't know,

Sarah Milken 21:55

really know, my husband is 86 hobbies. And I'm like, right, that's my hobby watching.

Anna Przy 22:00

I have any hobbies? Is the internet. And so when people are like, Well, how do I find what makes me happy? And I said, You know what, I think we're doing wrong. I don't think it's about finding what makes us happy. I think it's about eliminating things that make us miserable. Yes. And then we're going to be left with something.

Sarah Milken 22:19

Yeah, the shit I hate. I don't want to go to family events. I don't want to be our past 9pm

Anna Przy 22:27

Yes, correct.

Sarah Milken 22:29

So it's so perfect. It's so perfect now. Yeah. Oh my god. Even if you wake up at two in the morning to pee and you can fall back asleep again, which is the story of my life.

Anna Przy 22:41

Yeah. And then you lay there for three hours. Ah,

Sarah Milken 22:45

my God. And I watched my husband sleep and I'm like, fuck you. Like really, really? Like you're not stressing about every single thing that's happening in the world and in our house right now.

Anna Przy 22:56

I think we married the same purse. Yeah.

Sarah Milken 23:00

Oh, my God. And can you get over your cold? Because you've been storing for a month. And that's cool and striking to me, though. unforced. Oh, it is yeah, I'm boring does not work for me, dude. I'm like, like, two more weeks, and then you're out.

Anna Przy 23:14

I told him I was like, you can just tell me to leave like I'll go sleep in another room. That's amazing.

Sarah Milken 23:20

I No, no. So now he has like, he's tried four different pillows. So we're in a little bit of a good phase right now. Because there's something about his breathing, where if he's on like, a certain elevation of a pillow, it's better. I'm sure he's gonna love me sharing this, by the way asleep. Maybe

Anna Przy 23:34

he needs a sleep apnea mask.

Sarah Milken 23:36

I know. But that's so unattractive by the time you're done. You're done with the Rogaine painters, and all of this stuff. You know, it's not cute. But I have my own list of like, nightly rituals that are hideous, so I cannot complain at all. But before you went viral, and you were posting content, I mean, I'm speaking for a lot of women who, you know, are starting Instagram accounts. And even for myself, having started two and a half years ago, never having been on social media. Did you ever get discouraged where you're like, Oh, my God for people watch that six people liked it. Like, how did you manage that? And how do we not care about that? I mean, I know you're in a totally different league. Now, of course.

Anna Przy 24:21

I didn't have any expectations when I started. And the other thing is, I was consuming so much of that, like how to do social media content. Like oh, I won't lie about that. Like I was watching all those accounts that are like, here's how you do it.

Sarah Milken 24:39

Did you ever did you have a favorite one that like knocked it out of the park?

Anna Przy 24:43

Jackson's tips was the one I was watching all the tracks then. I don't know. I don't see any of those anymore. Okay. I like your maybe there.

Sarah Milken 24:52

You could have your own now.

Anna Przy 24:54

I like maybe there are tips but I don't want

Sarah Milken 24:56

to know. Yeah, you don't need them. Actually.

Anna Przy 24:59

I I was just like, I'm gonna, here's the thing, I'm gonna do what I want to do no matter what now, so, yeah.

Sarah Milken 25:05

But you got the courage by watching other people. Yeah, figuring out what they were doing. And maybe your thing wasn't the same. But I think it's a really good point because and I've heard you talk about this before, too is everybody's already doing everything. Right. There's already other midlife podcast all exists already content creators talking about the flux of life, you know, It all exists. But it doesn't exist by you. So what's your What are you bringing to the table? So like, what's your advice for women who are like, I want to start an Instagram account about fashion, but everybody's talking about fashion,

Anna Przy 25:42

don't give up is my thing. It's like, it doesn't have it just doesn't happen fast. It might. But like, for me, it didn't. So I'm always like, you just have to keep posting, like, and you have to do it every day that you have to do it, you know, stories every four hours. And like, I'm like, it doesn't matter. Like an IV drip. Yeah, literally, you just have to remember to be there. And I actually I that's like my number one advice to people, they're like, I can't take off on Instagram. So I'm not gonna give it my time. And I'm like, that's the worst thing you could do. And like, all you have to do is, is keep feeding it and eventually,

Sarah Milken 26:19

I know kept feeding the you know, the dragon.

Anna Przy 26:23

Keep feeding it. And eventually it will like, give you a little bit of respect back.

Sarah Milken 26:30

Meaning I know it's like the dopamine exchange. Give me Give me Give me Give me I know. But I think we can give it a lot before and at the end of the day. You're giving people so much and you're getting something out of it, too. It's not just posting because

Anna Przy 26:43

Oh, I like you said this is my journal. It is it? Yeah, it is. My expression is the thing that I get to do every day. It's my creative outlet. It's my social time. Because I mean, I'm a 35 year old woman, I live in the middle of nowhere, like I don't have a whole lot of social interaction. Besides,

Sarah Milken 27:04

you can call me I'm in LA.

Anna Przy 27:07

What like, I mean, like, if I needed to talk to somebody I like got a couple 1000 People like who would message me back in a second. Maybe that's bad. But no, it's not bad. I think when people say they're lonely, too, I always try to remind people parasocial relationships like they might be parasocial, but there's so relationships. That is still, if you were a sim, that would still count towards your social bar, like a social bar would still turn green from internet interactions. No, they're not like face to face. But people feel so lonely. And like you don't. I know you don't always think of the things online as being these real and true interactions. But they are and people will watch me and they'll be like, I wish you were talking just to me, and I wish we were friends. And I was like, first of all, I am talking to you. Yeah. And like, I can be your friend. You know, and they're like, I whenever I say, you know when you say like I read this, but you really just saw it on tick tock. Yes. messaged me and say I, I keep calling you my friend. And saying my friend said, I'm like, that's fine. Like parasocial relationships are real. I love

Sarah Milken 28:17

it. Like when I read my podcast reviews, like almost all of them are like, she's like my midlife. bestie. Like, she's like, they're talking about the shit that's on my mind. And I'm like, I mean, I do interact with a lot of my followers just like you do. I get a lot out of it, too. I mean, they get a lot out of it. I get a lot out of it. And like you're saying it? I mean, am I having lunch with them every day? No. It to have I met most of them. No, but some of them I do get to meet. I've made some amazing friends through Instagram. And I feel like as much negative as there is with social media, there's so much positive to like, I was able to reach out to you and be like, Hey, Anna, will you come on my podcast? I mean, you don't. I mean, it's like, I wouldn't have been able to do that years back.

Anna Przy 29:04

It's the same thing as like, how would I get started? It's like, you just have to start, how would I talk to you just have to talk to them. How would I put you just post? How would I you just, you have to do it. And I think there's I used to say, it feels like this all fell on me like in my lap. It's like no, but I did it. I I went on the app and I

Sarah Milken 29:28

and you know, yeah, I felt really small. And you know, like, nobody's gonna fucking watch that. Well, they did it. Yeah, that's what I mean. But like all of those things, and no one's unique to this. It's not like anyone wakes up and they're like, have Kim Kardashian is following, you know, nobody or you're following. Like, it just doesn't happen. It's, you know, some of us get luckier than others in terms of things going viral. Like I've never had something go viral, and I've been doing this for two and a half years, but I'm not doing it to go viral. Right. You know, I think so many people have this goal of viral viral viral. But if you

Anna Przy 30:04

wouldn't think that if they knew and happens when go viral was mean to you. Really? Not like I know, it just means like, if 150,000 people see that video, which is like,

Sarah Milken 30:17

is that viral? I don't know what's considered.

Anna Przy 30:20

Oh, viral is based on your following. So it's, it's different. Okay. Like, viral for me is like 5 million views. That's a lot. Yeah. And, you know, but an average post is between 150 and 300,000 views.

Sarah Milken 30:34

Got it. It's like 15,000 Write on a great day.

Anna Przy 30:38

150,000 people see it, you get one or two really mean comments, or whatever, when 5 million people see it. It's not that many mean comments, but it's that many more. Totally. Just proportion. Yeah, it just feels terrible. Because you see them you're like, oh, no, you're like, I only normally get one or two, three comments. No, yeah. 100.

Sarah Milken 31:01

Do you read them anymore? When it starts getting into that chat? I?

Anna Przy 31:05

Ah, yes. And no, it just depends. Like, it literally depends on if when I open up my notifications tab, it's sitting there. Like, how do

Sarah Milken 31:14

you manage your I mean, I can barely handle mine. How do you? How do you manage an inbox like that?

Anna Przy 31:21

I'm doing worse than I used to. I usually just like, if I have free time, that's like a when I'm in the bath. Yeah, you're like, meddling and

Sarah Milken 31:33

could never get through. Like, even if you're having a really good day, you couldn't get past 100. And you're in like the hundreds of 1000s of crazy. I always have

Anna Przy 31:43

like, 1000 message requests, and I'm on it. And I'll get to a couple a day. But

Sarah Milken 31:48

oh, my God, that's just, it's crazy. To talk to everybody. I really do. I know, you seem like that kind of person. I think everyone knows that. And they forgive you. Now you see that viewers take away from their social from your social media platform, like the main takeaway is the human experience of how hard it is to just exist. And some people don't understand how some people can't get out of bed in the morning. And it's a real mental health issue. And it's not because they don't want to get out of bed. It's because they can't.

Anna Przy 32:20

Yeah, and that I mean, that. I can say that, because I've been there. And you know, I get there sometimes. But yeah, until you have experienced it, it's sometimes hard to understand what other people are going through. But I just want to be there to say like, always say, I want to be who I never had somebody to be like, this is the thing that happens, you're going to be okay, like there is a lot of pressure to do more and be more all the time. And it's okay to to not. Yeah, it's okay to just not do that. I just wished that I had had somebody to tell me that, like, I wasn't broken, there wasn't something wrong with me. But sometimes our brains can't handle all of that. And after years and years and years of your whole life of everything, you know, sometimes there's just going to be those days where everything is too much.

Sarah Milken 33:22

Yeah, and some people have true chemical imbalances. Yeah, well, they are doing that they are doing the work. They are doing the therapy they are doing, you know, the community, all of that stuff. But unless they take medication, they cannot get better. And I know you have a lot to say about

Anna Przy 33:42

that. Yeah. Yeah. So it's the same. So I have like a scale for me when I that's the other thing is I don't ever look at anything with any emotion. Like, I'll pretend that I'm looking at my own life from the outside in. And you say Is anything wrong? No. But am I feeling like everything is wrong? Yes. And it's like, there just is a point where I can't do it on my own anymore. And I've only been medicated twice in my life right now. It's one of them. But it was just unmanageable. There was no, there was no fixing. Like I was in the therapy. I was doing the work. I was going for my walks. I was doing all the things I'm supposed to do. And I was standing there looking at my mom. And she's like, what is it? It's like, nothing is wrong. And I was like, but I really don't want to be here. Like I'm I don't want to be a part of this

Sarah Milken 34:29

anymore. Like you don't want to be in this world that yeah, like I don't

Anna Przy 34:33

know, this is of interest to me. Like being here getting up in the morning, going for these stupid little walks. Do it like,

Sarah Milken 34:40

I know I call it the dumb weights. And like in this in this sort of platform of doing a podcast. I'm like, If I hear one more thing about how important the weights are for cognitive and physical I'm like, Okay, I'm doing the damn way. I'm doing it.

Anna Przy 34:58

So yeah, just I, I couldn't do it anymore with without assistance. And that is just the way that it was. And I'll have people be like, Oh, you didn't even try like a supplement or whatever. And I'm like, listen, I know myself. And I know the place that I was in was, I wasn't coming out of it. I wasn't coming out of it on my own. There was nothing we could do about that. I was gone. And I knew that too. I was like, No, I'm, I'm done. I'm so I need help.

Sarah Milken 35:35

Yeah, I think it's such an important message. And I so appreciate your sharing that because there are so many women like us, even especially in midlife, we're all your hormones are changing. And you're just like, I need help. Like, I'm doing all the things and I still feel like Hell's Kitchen, and I'm gonna kill someone

Anna Przy 35:54

else did. Yeah, that's like the one for me, that just gets me. And then when I'm that tired, I'm mad at myself. And I'm, it's like, all coming full circle. And I'm just getting so frustrated. Because I'm exhausted.

Sarah Milken 36:06

Yeah. And you just want to be in your robe all day and knock it out. After So you took a break from therapy for five or six years, you back and then what happened.

Anna Przy 36:17

I realized, ever, it was kind of once I set it all out loud. everything that had happened in all of the years leading up to the pandemic, and then the pandemic, like, changing my life, flipping it upside down, losing my job, and still trying to keep this company afloat because I own the company that I work for, on top of all of that, and having to pay a staff that I don't have any income and having to, you know, make sure people are filling out all the forms for all of the grants and loans and make sure I'm filling out the paperwork for them to get each little grant and loan like confirming you can't even get

Sarah Milken 36:59

yourself out of bed. Yeah, yeah. And you're like worrying about grant and loan application. I mean, ah,

Anna Przy 37:06

so it was kind of, yeah, I was sitting at my husband. He's like, I think you need to talk to somebody because it was I was like, catatonic, you know, like, I couldn't, I couldn't do one more day of any of it. And the second I sat down, and I did talkspace, like people have a lot to say about these online therapies. But I think if you're in a place where you really can't pick up a phone sounds impossible. All of these things are, everything sounded so hard. But they had texting, they offered texting. And it got me in the door it got in the door. But yeah, like, it just got me back in that little space. And that's another thing is like, we don't need to make things harder than they have to be make.

Sarah Milken 37:54

Like you don't have to get in the car and drive an hour and out of like, you know, the middle of nowhere, Michigan to our main city and meet a therapist and park in the parking lot and get the Val validation. Oh, that sounds exhausting. Like when I got to college, like oh my god, I don't understand where my car is like, I have to get a ticket. Oh, they only take cash. They don't take a credit card. That's a lot of steps for someone who's not having mental issue. Yeah. When you're

Anna Przy 38:20

Yeah, yes. And so let's just say like, what's the easiest way you could do this? And for me, it was like, okay, they have text therapy, and I started, then she's like, I'd like to do a video call. And you're like, okay, and then, you know, I do I wanted medication. I didn't do any of the psychiatrists, your medication. And so I literally searched on the Google. I was like, where everyone? I would look, can you book online. And that was like, the requirement for me, like, I cannot pick up the phone. I can't, you know, I can only do so much right now. And it's that like me putting into practice this thing that I'm saying, like, don't make anything harder than it has, like, I found a place where I could schedule it online. And they offered telehealth, and, you know, like, let's make like, I don't have to get out of bed. I just have to make it to the phone call on my phone.

Sarah Milken 39:16

Or you put that because it really is much harder than it seems.

Anna Przy 39:22

Yes. I mean, all of it is hard, and they don't make it easy. And it's not easy to figure out like the other thing is like we don't have appointment for six months. And you're like Cool, cool, cool. I need medication today. Yeah, like the NOC Oh, well, you know what, we have a nurse practitioner and I was like, yes, thank you. And they're like, she's free like tomorrow and I was like, there we go. We're getting somewhere. Like does for me it was like I just couldn't talk to somebody out loud. Like I really just needed a place I had email on their website for like, a physical like book. An appointment like I could not get a referral fee. cuz I'm not going, like going like, yeah, I can leave this house. I know that. And I think, you know, yeah, that's all of the online like apps and stuff get like a little bit of a rough name. But like, if that's all you can handle, that's a lot better than nothing.

Sarah Milken 40:18

That's an amazing way to put it. And I so appreciate that. And I think a lot of other people do. And that's why your platform is so relatable and so helpful. And another thing that you talk about is you in this healing process, you realize that you had to figure out who you were outside of your job. So you are Anna, the event planner, who is busy night and day event planning, and suddenly event planning is gone. And you're like, Who the fuck is Anna? Yes. And I feel like that's such a message for midlife women too, especially like if kids are moving out of the house and going to college or doing whatever living on their own. You're like, Okay, I'm not mom 24 hours a day anymore. And not maybe like my spouse, like, oh my god, I gotta talk to them now, and you have no idea who you are.

Anna Przy 41:08

Yes, let me rephrase. When I say my biggest fear was my whole life falling apart. To me, my whole life falling apart is losing my identity. So student, athlete, teacher, mom, daughter, whatever. So when you lose your job, and then you're like, for me, at that point, my entire identity was that you're like, Oh, no. Now I have to face my life. And that's usually when everything goes wrong. So you know, when I was a college athlete, and I got injured, and that, for me was like, hit sent that spiral that rocked my whole life and, you know, changed my whole life. And then, and then the second time, yeah, I lost my job. And it was like, oh, no, it's happening again, like, this is not so good.

Sarah Milken 41:55

I mean, I think we're all in these boxes. And we give ourselves these, these these labels. Yeah. And when the labels start to fizzle, like, maybe you're not as much of a mom anymore, because your kids are leaving, or whatever, or your job is beginning to change, you start freaking out of like, okay, well, what am I going to do with myself for all these hours? And all this time? And who am I,

Anna Przy 42:20

there's actually a piece of content I never published, and now it doesn't have sound, it's still sitting in my dress, but without sound. But when I sat down, this was like, before I ever had a follower. And I was talking about all of the boxes that I fit in, pre pandemic, and how like, trying to come back to life. after or during, there wasn't any more boxes. So I didn't know where I went. Like just feeling. When you turn from like a solid to a gas, you're like, oh, no, the possibilities are endless. And that's terrifying. But also, like, there are no possibilities, you know, you're like, Yeah, I think now I'm even more scared, because now I feel like the possibilities are endless. I don't like that

Sarah Milken 43:04

either. Yeah, no, it's all hard. Because you're like, Oh, my God, I like I kind of am sort of famous for my content. But like, you know, in a year, it's like, not that cool anymore, right? It's so many iterations of everything.

Anna Przy 43:20

My husband says that literally every day, and not he's not he is supportive, but he's also realistic, where he's like, he's like social media changes. And I said, Yeah, and maybe this will all go away. But I will leave it with the knowledge I have now that I can do anything. Versus previously, I didn't believe that, or, or see that I could do anything else. And now I'm like, Oh, I, I can do something else. I can probably even do something else else.

Sarah Milken 43:49

But I think you I think a huge takeaway in that sort of interaction with your husband. And that idea is that even if it does go away, the social media fame does go away. You still now in this position that you're in right now, you know that you're not going away? Or as I don't know if you knew that before,

Anna Przy 44:12

yes. Right. You are correct. Yes. Were Yes. I was. Yes, losing an identity felt like the end. Like there was no going past that losing my job was like, That's it. I'm done. I'm, I'm not a person anymore. I forgot all the other things that I am, because I couldn't see them. No, I can see them.

Sarah Milken 44:33

Right. And you have two things now because you're doing the event planning and the content creation. So it's kind of like you have two things going in the pot. So if one thing disappears, not to say that that's great, you know, you have another thing and I think that that's also a good takeaway for midlife women who are like okay, yes, I am a mom or Yes, I am a career person and, you know, one of something and one of those paths I was going to change, but knowing that you have the next thing going in the back of your mind, even if it's not like a drill job, or it's not a business, but it's, Hey, I'm getting fit.

Anna Przy 45:11

Hey, on all these it's, yeah, well, if it's gone, I'm still valuable. And I didn't know that before. It could all go away. And I go back to bartending. And you know what, that's fine. And I probably never would have said that before. Like, that probably would have terrified me. And I'm like, No, I can do anything I want. And what if what I want to do is just go back and start over. I could do that.

Sarah Milken 45:36

too great. It's a great message, it's obviously harder to do than it is to say, but it really is amazing. Because our identities do Shift, and they shaken and things change. But we still have to wake up every day and be ourselves without the labels with or without the

Anna Przy 45:55

last so hard to be hard. Yeah, to wake up every day and be like, outside of all of this, I'm still a person who's worthy of my own love and affection. It's like, are you though,

Sarah Milken 46:05

I know, I have a kid going to college next year. And I, I have two kids and my other kid will still be here for she'll be here for two more years. And I'm like, Oh, my God, he's gonna leave, he's gonna leave, he's gonna leave. Like, how is that going to change me like, I'm not going to see him every day, when I wake up in the morning, I'm not going to be able to like, know what he had for breakfast, like, and then I'll have my daughter, and then she'll leave. And it's just so interesting to see how we go through all these different seasons of our lives. And we wonder, will we be okay?

Anna Przy 46:37

Yes. And I believe that no.

Sarah Milken 46:41

And I think that your message is telling people like, Hey, guys, your shit can fall apart, but you're going to be okay. But you also expressed that you need to get the help, too. And that's a really important point at you need to ask for help. You can't just sit in your house. And like you were helping yourself by doing those baby steps that you could do. And you knew you could do you could do an appointment for therapy if you did it online.

Anna Przy 47:07

Yeah. And the other thing that is so hard as I think this is just such a woman thing is that, like if I can't do it right and perfectly and the whole task all at once, I'm not going to do it at all. And I'm guilty of

Sarah Milken 47:21

that. Oh, me

Anna Przy 47:22

too. And having to like reframe my mind. That one thing is one thing more than no things. I on those days, when I really can't do anything, I still try to do one thing and see what happens. Because if I try one thing, and I really can't do any more than I did a thing, one thing, I put one load in the laundry or whatever. But if I do one thing, and then I'm already up, and I'm like, You know what, I can do another thing. And in. It's really hard to take the first step, when you don't feel confident that you can complete the list.

Sarah Milken 47:59

Yeah, and confidence is a muscle. It's like, okay, I sent that email. I posted that post. I you know what I mean? All of those little things. They seem so silly, but they're so they become so big, and

Anna Przy 48:12

the long term baby steps is still move. Yeah, baby steps

Sarah Milken 48:15

are so hard for, you know, kind of overachiever mentalities? They are really hard. Yeah. One of the huge themes of your platform is that you're basically shouting up into the sky on Instagram and Tiktok. And you're like, you guys, there's so much pressure we're putting on yourselves like, yeah, give yourself permission that we don't have to do it all.

Anna Przy 48:40

I just want people to have permission to not feel like they have to do it all the time. Like, like, I just want to be that person to let you know, it's okay to do less that person who lets you know that it's okay. To not want more. I think that was a really hard one for me too, like that, that realizing that maybe I don't want to be the president of the company. Maybe I'm happier. Knowing that I stay in this, you know, where I'm at, and I do the tasks I know I can do and I don't take on more tests than that, and I don't get paid more.

Sarah Milken 49:20

That's like, that's okay. And then you have less but you're okay with that. Yeah,

Anna Przy 49:24

it's okay to want a little bit less, it's okay. To not climb that ladder to keep climbing it. Because I'm kind of in the process of stepping back a little bit at my job, which is weird, but it's okay.

Sarah Milken 49:40

And things do change and you're not supposed to be the same person forever. And I think that's the beauty of self evolution. Yeah. Are you sure? Yeah. Are you sure? I think if you think about all the iterations of like, what you've gone through in your life between like the anorexia and the mental health and ADHD and all of those things, but you've come out on the other side. And, you know, we all change changes you for lack of a better or less, you know, not so eloquent way of saying it. But we're all left with changes to ourselves. Like, it just changes you.

Anna Przy 50:16

I just wrote this down the other day, actually, which is so funny that you said it, because I haven't made content about it, but I just wrote down, you have no idea all the use, you're gonna be. Yeah, I still don't know who I'm gonna wake up tomorrow, or who I'm going to be next week? Or who I'm going to be next year? I've no idea.

Sarah Milken 50:33

I know. We don't know. And I think that that's, I think if we reframe it as like, that's the fun part rather than the fun part. Yeah, rather than Oh, shit. You know, we can't know everything all the time. And we can't predict everything all the time. The other thing I love about your content is you talk about this, you guys, everything is made up. Tell me about that hard.

Anna Przy 50:58

I that was a scary one to learn. People are always like, Oh, thanks for breaking my brain. Yeah, it's true. Like we I fall so prey to every social construct, like they all weigh on me constantly. are made up. They are, you know, these pressures? We feel like, somebody just decided, you know, we Why do I feel that way? Who decided that? There used to be? We were never supposed to have as much access to the world as we do. I believe that I believe we have way more access and we are supposed to.

Sarah Milken 51:39

Oh my God, it was so much easier when I was in high school. And I didn't have social media or the internet. I didn't even know what the fuck was going on? Yes. I feel like

Anna Przy 51:47

there wasn't enough in person. For me in high school, right? So yeah, I'm saying this is just from face to face interview.

Sarah Milken 51:56

You didn't get invited to a party, but like you didn't know about it for a few days. Yeah. Now it's real time.

Anna Przy 52:02

We know too much. It's exhausting. Yeah. There is no way. And I think we can see that a little bit more. Maybe just because I grew up without being able to see any of that. Like, what's going on? Who's doing what, what is? What are people wearing? What, ah, we have access to this 24 hours a day, seven days a week. So we see. And I don't I'm not like the anti motivational speaker. But no

Sarah Milken 52:33

spective

Anna Przy 52:34

it's better, be more, do more. If, you know, financial gain is like success. And I'm like, Well, you made that up.

Sarah Milken 52:49

Or your or your parents did.

Anna Przy 52:51

Yeah. Or your parents or

Sarah Milken 52:52

their parents or whatever. Right. Right. Right. Yeah,

Anna Przy 52:54

I have a say yeah, you're a product of your environment up until a point like now you're a product of your environment until you are fully exploring the internet literally. Your only you know, we just have too much excess.

Sarah Milken 53:09

Trust me. I know. I'm like I don't want to hear more about hydration or more about the weights or lifting.

Anna Przy 53:15

I'm gonna I never I do not recall drinking water. Yeah, I

Sarah Milken 53:19

don't think I drank water all through high school. I played soccer I don't even know

Anna Przy 53:24

I I ran track across country and I don't even remember in college drinking all that much water you

Sarah Milken 53:29

and you didn't weren't thinking about plastic bottles. And did you bring a glass bottle? And were you gonna fry the glass or bottle? Yeah, like, yeah, that's what I'm saying. It's like, you were drinking from BPA plastic Gatorade bottle that was on the side of the field. I mean, we didn't weren't even thinking about all this.

Anna Przy 53:46

I drink a lot of Kool Aid, like my mom would make Kool Aid. And that was what we had in the fridge. With Splenda. We're gonna keel over.

Sarah Milken 53:54

It's a lot. Now one of the related things is you're sort of like hey guys, you being directionless can be your purpose. Yeah, it may not be forever and it's okay. If you're directionless for a little bit.

Anna Przy 54:09

By I always say nothing's changed my life except my mindset. You know, I am still in the same job. I am still just talking about my life and working on my mental health every day, nothing changed except for my attitude about it. You know, not knowing who I was going to be or what I wanted to be used to scare the shit out of me because I thought I needed a purpose or a passion. Knowing that I don't knowing that I have no idea what's going to happen in my life. And knowing you know that I can be whoever I want to be every day. That's my purpose. Existing being here being a part of it focusing. Be here now because I could die in my sleep, you know? That's it. The thing is that like nobody makes it out of here alive. We finish line is exactly the same for everybody. because once you're gone, you're gone. That's it. Like, yeah, it's over. And I think when I think about that, I want to have a little bit more fun than I probably previously did.

Sarah Milken 55:15

I think a lot of us could use a little bit more fun. And I love how you kind of don't be

Anna Przy 55:19

a shitty person. Yeah, to have some fun. That's it.

Sarah Milken 55:25

Bottom line, don't be an asshole. I think. I know. It's so easy and so hard. I know I love your sweatshirt her swatch. It says it's cool to care. Yes, yeah. And I teach my kids that too. It's like, watch out for the people who are off to the side, or the people who don't have a seat at the lunch table. Invite them over. You know, a lot of times shitty kids or kids that seem shitty at school have shitty parents, not all the time, but a lot. So it's like model what you expect your kids to behave like. Yeah. You know? That's

Anna Przy 56:00

Yes. Correct.

Sarah Milken 56:02

I mean, mean, girls.

Anna Przy 56:06

I mean, not having kids, which is like this whole other thing that like, people are always like, Are you sure? You know? There's so many questions. I'm like, No. Good. Yeah. I

Sarah Milken 56:17

mean, you should be able to do things your own way.

Anna Przy 56:19

That and that's, I mean, that's all Yeah.

Sarah Milken 56:23

And that's the beauty of life is like, you want the Botox, get the Botox. You want to go gray go gray. Oh, my gosh, you know, and it's like, shut up about what everyone else is doing.

Anna Przy 56:33

I got my eyebrows tattooed. And it was like, everybody was like, Oh, you're just falling into that. And I was like, they're my eyebrows. But I was filling them in either

Sarah Milken 56:42

way. Why do you have to justify it? That's my thing. I

Anna Przy 56:45

know. It's tough when you're just like, I just want to live my life. But also sometimes I feel like I just I was going to do them either way. So why do you care? If I know

Sarah Milken 56:54

why do I even need to make an excuse? Okay, I can't deal with that. Ah, if it makes you happy, do it.

Anna Przy 57:02

If it makes you happy, and you're not hurting anybody else. That's it. Like it goes along with trying to have some fun and don't be shitty person. Like, yeah, those are

Sarah Milken 57:12

hard. Don't be a dick. And let's move on. Oh, my God,

Anna Przy 57:15

rules to this for everyone needs. I gotta make that shirt though. Everybody

Sarah Milken 57:17

you wouldn't be you wouldn't be a good parent, because you're like, don't be an asshole guys and my business.

Anna Przy 57:24

I think there's just like plenty of kids, you know, they're good. There. Yeah,

Sarah Milken 57:27

that's why I only had two. Um, I'm like,

Anna Przy 57:31

I need to be a part of that.

Sarah Milken 57:33

I'm like, I max out. I have two hands. I'm good. So in my research for this chat, you said that piece is your mantra or word for 2023? What does that mean? Well, geez,

Anna Przy 57:45

I just want it to feel less heavy. I just want to, I want to focus on the things in my life that like, make me feel calm. And it's kind of that like, trying to find things that make you happy. But instead just getting rid of the things that don't it's like, getting rid of the things that make me feel very stressed. Right? And that's just setting a lot of times it's not like like, what's, what is it like? Sometimes it's just setting a boundary? Sometimes it's saying no, instead of yes, it's it's not go into Thanksgiving, it's all of this. It's setting yourself up to not? If you know you're going to walk in somewhere, not your job, because everyone says like, oh, then I won't go to work anymore. And I'm like, right. About your job. Okay, we all

Sarah Milken 58:32

have, sometimes you are talking about your job and your job.

Anna Przy 58:36

Yes. And that's the other thing that I think people needed to know, like you can you can quit your job. I know. It's real scary. And then you don't know where your money is coming from. But how much is your piece worth? Right? I know this because my husband quit his job. And it was me who told him to do it. And this was back before I ever believed that, like, I was scared shitless. But I loved him so much. And he was miserable. And I was like you have to quit your job. It's never going to be worth it. Like and then the other thing is, nothing's ever not worked out yet. Right? We're still here.

Sarah Milken 59:15

Yep, we're alive. We came out of the pandemic. Yeah.

Anna Przy 59:19

And yeah, it's like, you're miserable. You hate this job. You can't do it anymore. And we were fine. But I do think people like if your job is really bad or awful, or like if you're super stressed, and this is something that I've gotten, like in my comments before, it was almost like, thank you so much for saying this. I was so worked up about the possibility of getting this promotion that I don't even want. It's, you know, sometimes it's that it's like, Do you want a promotion? And you can say no, you can see where you're at and stay in your comfort zone. It's

Sarah Milken 59:59

a shame Like, your comfort zone? Yeah, cuz it's like a shame and zone is hard, right? Yeah. The comfort zone is hard. Sometimes we have to test ourselves because sometimes it comfort zone, you stay there for too long,

Anna Przy 1:00:12

in good ways. Like, yeah, I think it's good to try new things and, and expand your horizons. But like if the comfort zone is taking a job, and getting a promotion to work even more at a place that you hate, like,

Sarah Milken 1:00:25

and you hate the people, and you're working bad energy, you're like, Oh, I can't do this for one more second, I totally got that. Now, you see that this content saved your life making this content

Anna Przy 1:00:35

100%.

Sarah Milken 1:00:39

Last, because

Anna Przy 1:00:42

I believe all the things I'm saying everything I'm saying, I'm learning in real time, in all of every thing I've learned, has changed my life every step of the way. It's changing my life. Where I can't, it's my mindset, it really is just my mindset, where I was kind of trapped, like, trapped by my own mind, in in these patterns of just being this person I thought I had to be and doing the things I thought I should do. I don't the show yeah, I was trapped in my shoulds. And the second, I stepped outside asked why. And just thought a little bit more about possibilities. And when the fear there was a there's a video, there's literally there's a video of it. I'm like sitting outside, and I go, I just realized that I'm excited. I've never like been excited about my future before I was sitting there. And I was like, I actually just this moment started to believe that that I can do whatever I want.

Sarah Milken 1:01:48

For one change that what flip the script for you.

Anna Przy 1:01:53

I think a lot of it is it's talking about it. I'm talking about it so much. I'm repeating things people say like how they're like I love this message. But how do you believe it? And I'm like, the more I say it, and the more I put it into practice. One day, it literally was

Sarah Milken 1:02:13

like Joe Dispenza says, he says, tell yourself till you believe.

Anna Przy 1:02:18

And I go, Oh my god, I really couldn't do anything. And I am excited about it and not scared. And I was like, I don't know how it happened. I mean, I do I know how it happened. I talked about it day in and day out and day in and day out. And then it was like, Oh my God, I am excited about my future. I am excited to not know what comes next.

Sarah Milken 1:02:41

Now did like if you were to look back, like I know you've said before that, like your content is what you needed at the time. But you never found it. So you created it. And now you're giving it as a gift to other people, which I love. Yeah, if you could like think of a few steps or a few pieces of advice, like what would you say to people to change their mindsets? Like they've been through it all,

Anna Przy 1:03:08

all of this for me stems from learning that my value as a person isn't what I can do. My value is, is in not being a shitty person, not how much I can produce how much I can accomplish how much go how high I can fly, but my I never knew that I could just like who I am. Right where I'm at. Not looking huh it's it is that though it's it's knowing that I'm you're valuable knowing that everybody's valuable right where they're at. And there isn't something you need to do to get there. There. Because I was waiting. I was like when I lose 30 pounds. And when I have the car, and when I have the house and when I have the job, and then I'll be happy. And then I'll be excited about myself. And then I'll like myself. Well, I got the car. I hated it. Hi. I bought the house. It's a lot of work. I bought the company. Yikes. That sure did not make me feel

Sarah Milken 1:04:32

better. Yeah, you got more forms to fill out.

Anna Przy 1:04:36

So I think for me it was kind of like I got whatever the checklists you have. Your burden is of like what you've got to do to get to the top of and then you'll like yourself and then you'll be valuable and then you'll be worthy of this thing. Like, then I'll take a vacation then I'll buy the thing. It's just like no, no Why are you putting off being happy? Yeah, there's not like a list of things you need to do to be happy. There just isn't.

Sarah Milken 1:05:09

But what's the key to liking yourself where you're at?

Anna Przy 1:05:14

Recognizing that you're already enough? Yeah, there's nothing that's gonna make you enough. That not somebody else, thinking you are not doing more like, you just have to say, I can look at myself, and I know I'm not a shitty person. And that's it. I'm not hurting anybody. I like myself. I still struggle with body thing. But that's a whole other thing.

Sarah Milken 1:05:43

That's a whole other thing.

Anna Przy 1:05:46

That I'm not what I can do.

Sarah Milken 1:05:52

That's not, that's such a hard thing to really internalize. My value

Anna Przy 1:05:56

isn't what I do. It's not like when you go to a party, and somebody says, What do you do? You can say, well, I take baths. Like, no, no, like, what's your job? You're like, Oh, weird question.

Sarah Milken 1:06:08

Yeah, no, I actually had that. You know, I was talking to this guy the other day. And he was like, Oh, where'd you go to college of law? And I tell him, and he's like, so like, what do you do? And I was like, like, whatever. I'm like, Oh, I have a midlife podcast. And he goes, I figured you had to do something other than like, just being a mom, because you went to an Ivy League school. And I was like, Why, what? Why? Why?

Anna Przy 1:06:34

You're like you did? It doesn't? Yeah, and I'm just like,

Sarah Milken 1:06:37

I hadn't heard that for so long. And I thought, wow, okay. Like, this still really exists here, doesn't it? Like, all this made up shit of like,

Anna Przy 1:06:47

to I know, whole thing. Like, I know, better college.

Sarah Milken 1:06:51

I was gonna say my son is applying to colleges right now. And I'm like, okay, like, I don't go to a college for me. Like, I already went to college. Don't go to college for your dad. He already went to college. Yeah, gotta do fucking you. I don't care if you go to the biggest party school in the country. And I don't care if you go to the best Ivy League school in the country either. Like, I just want you to pick what you want. And guess what? If you don't like it, it's changed your mind? Yeah, change your mind. Fuck it move on. Like, I transferred colleges. Like it's okay. I think

Anna Przy 1:07:30

that's another part of the like value saying like, I had so much value in like I did everything right. Oh, it's like, well, you know what it was? Okay. If you changed your mind to did you know that you would have still been a valuable person, you could have still been a good person. It's like, oh, no, I hadn't actually considered that.

Sarah Milken 1:07:48

I know, I actually had that happen to me. Because after I went through all the schooling and got my PhD and like, checked all my like to do boxes. I decided to be a stay at home mom. Yeah, my parents were like, wait, what? And everyone was like, wait, what my husband knows knew me so well. He was like, she's gonna do whatever the fuck she wants to do. So let her just be happy doing her. But everyone else was like, wait, you just did all that school for that

Anna Przy 1:08:13

thing about like watching TV or movies in like, the 90s in the 2000s. And they're worried about their kid because they're directionless, and they're running around Bali, or whatever they're doing. And

Sarah Milken 1:08:28

to Bali, let's do that. We should and we wear white robes.

Anna Przy 1:08:31

But when I say you're not law, like, I wish there would have been the counter character me in those movies and those TV shows saying, Are you sure she's lost? Are you sure she's not just living? Hmm. And that's the point. The point is living. The point is

Sarah Milken 1:08:51

like, what's the fun part? Yeah, why? And why is it having fun? Okay. Yes, man. We haven't had fun in so long. We can't even remember how to fucking have fun.

Anna Przy 1:09:04

Yeah, that's like, I am trying to learn how to have fun. It's hard. It's harder than I thought.

Sarah Milken 1:09:10

I know. I know. It's not funny.

Anna Przy 1:09:13

I went rollerblading the other day. Oh, God. I don't know if it was fun.

Sarah Milken 1:09:19

I know. I do rock rollerblading. I love rollerblading. But I will tell you that, I don't know. 1000 years ago, I did have like a rollerblading fall. And ever since that fall, I'm like, Hmm, not sure about roller roller blade day. Yeah, if you're kind of good at it. It's fun.

Anna Przy 1:09:37

I'm not so listen, I was

Sarah Milken 1:09:41

skiing. I'm like skiing. I'm always like, what's the cost reward of this? You know, like,

Anna Przy 1:09:47

I went, I tried. I was like, Okay, I left the house. It was great. That's my new my next. Yesterday I decided this that I'm going to make an effort to leave the house once a day.

Sarah Milken 1:09:57

That's good. Oh, because you work from home. Yeah.

Anna Przy 1:10:00

Even if it's just like, get coffee, I just need to.

Sarah Milken 1:10:04

I know I need to be removed. Yeah,

Anna Przy 1:10:06

I need to be removed from my space everyone. Yeah, well, no, I agree. And I just, you know, not that I would tell people that have to leave their house, but I think that's my next step because I use it every day change of

Sarah Milken 1:10:19

scenery. No, it's just a change of routine. Like, there are days where like, or like, there'll be two days where I don't leave the house and my daughter is like, you have a lot of gas in your car, like, the house. She's like, I'm getting gas all the time. And I'm like, but I don't leave the house as much as you do. But we all kind of fall into our habits. There's people who go out too much. And there's people who stay home too much, but it's finding whatever balance works for us, you know?

Anna Przy 1:10:46

Yeah. And that's what I want to do. It's not like I'm doing it because I know myself and

Sarah Milken 1:10:54

you know, you'll stay home for six years with with putting cute T shirts on your dogs. He's has allergies. That's why it's really cute though. It's like a stripe vintage t shirt on I mean, oh my god, I love it. So handsome. Okay, and this chat could go on forever. I love I'm like, Oh my God. If listeners want to find you, where can they find you?

Anna Przy 1:11:18

I am on Instagram and Tiktok at AKP RZY And that's it.

Sarah Milken 1:11:25

So good. I want everyone to think about what shit they can start doing today. One small step I want to thank Anna for this chat on life choices energy not doing shit you don't want to do being okay with just being and doing what you love, even if it's not the same as everyone else. Thank you, Anna. Priya Z.

Anna Przy 1:11:45

Thanks for having me.

Sarah Milken 1:11:46

Hey, peeps, it's me again. I listen to this episode with Tiktok influencer manifester and intention center, Anna przy, who's also a tick tock sensation and midlife comedy creator. I wanted to summarize the golden nuggets for you to have actionable items to start using today. I know that when I listened to a long episode, I'm like, oh my god, I love that. But now I can't even fucking remember the specifics. This is why I come back and do a golden nugget summary. In this episode, we discuss Anna's journey with mental health during the pandemic, and how this led to her and unexpected path of social media fame. A midlife identity shake up and figuring out what she was going to do next with her life. Golden Nugget number one, how the pandemic contributed to Anna's life, quote, falling into place at the onset of the pandemic and his biggest fear was that her life was falling apart. She was bound to her home in Michigan just like all of us and she felt trapped, confused and anxious about her future. With extra time on her hands. She found herself at home consuming content like many of us, and she used the internet and her love of baking to fill the void within her. She use Tik Tok as a way of fighting emotions from surfacing within herself. She found a lot of comfort and connection with creators online and realize wait, I could do this. And I experimented with putting out her own content and quickly felt a sense of purpose and reason to get out of bed in the morning. Tik Tok became her online journal her creative outlet and her means of self expression. And it didn't realize that her biggest fear of watching her life fall apart in quotation marks, who's actually watching the process of it all fall back into place. Golden Nugget number two self growth pressure and boundaries and and went through a huge transformation in the last two years, she was able to put herself herself first in a lot of ways guiltlessly set boundaries and removed a lot of pressure that she was ultimately putting on herself. She tells us that we should try to remove the things that make us miserable in any way. She attributes her self growth and self accountability to the transparency that she puts forth online. She said that her Instagram posting became this online journal for her. Her social media presence forces her to ask herself tough questions about how she is really feeling that day, what she's struggling with and how she can express it through her outlet, Golden Nugget number three, and his number one piece of advice. Just start and don't give up. The courage and inspiration to start creating content came from other creators on the platform. But it was up to Anna to just start just try it. Experiment with what what would happen if she just did it. And if you don't try it, you will never know that something could have worked out so much better than you ever imagined. Starting is the first step and after you start don't give up there are days you feel shitty and like oh my god, this is not going anywhere. Believe me. I have them too. And it won't happen overnight. Just keep posting, keep doing what you're doing, have fun with it. And remember, in the end, none of it really matters. All these standards and constructs we live by are made up anyway she says, if it's fun for you, then keep doing it and see what can happen stay consistent and give it time. Golden Nugget number four, removing labels and understanding your value. Before the pandemic, Anna allowed labels to define her daughter event planner wife. When labels were forcibly removed from her, she realized that the possibilities beyond the label are actually more frightening and keeping yourself small and tucked away in a box. Exploring a space between labels was what gave Anna the chance to figure out who she really was. She realized that her value was not tied directly to her job or her level of productivity. She found peace in the possibility that even if everything went away, and Tik Tok was shut down tomorrow, she would still have value she would still be someone to be proud of and she would still be worthy of love and affection. Golden Nugget number five, in midlife, you don't have to do more. Your purpose can be chilling out for a while and being quote directionless. Take a deep breath. We don't have to do it all and what is all anyway, Anna teaches us that not knowing exactly who we are, what we're going to do or who we're going to become every day is okay. We don't have to have it all figured out. We can be who we want to be every day keep changing our mind and keep changing our mind. The gold is dripping off these nuggets, rabbit use it there are three things you can do. First, subscribe to the podcast. Second, share with some friends who like midlife shit. And third, write an apple review. writing reviews is kind of annoying. It's an extra step. But guess what? It really makes a podcast bro. You think your little review won't matter? But it does. If you went to a show and everyone said my clap doesn't matter. Then there would be no clapping. You all matter. We all matter. DM me, you know I always respond. Oh and of course follow my instagram @theflexibleneurotic love you talk soon.