TIKTOk CREATOR BEAUTY TIPS: HOW TO CREATE YOUR SELF NOT FIND YOURSELF

Part 1

Amy Chang  00:00

You can't go somewhere you don't know where you're going right? You have to kind of have a general idea like this is, this is what I want. These are my goals for the next year. And then I'm going to focus my life so that the decisions I make every day like slowly move me towards that Northstar. And like each day, when you your actions align with those goals and those values and what you want, like you'll feel stronger conviction and where you're going and more sure of yourself and it won't really matter what people are doing on the left and the right because you'll feel so good in this path that you are on.

Sarah Milken  00:38

Hey, peeps, welcome to the flexible neurotic podcast. I'm your host, Dr. Sarah Milken. Yeah, you heard that right. I'm a real PhD doctor. Long, long ago, like last fucking year. I was sitting in the midlife funk wondering, was this it for me? That day, I realized I needed to get off my ass and start my midlife remix. I dusted off my PhD wipe the menopause, sweat off my forehead, grabbed my golden shit shovel and started digging deep to all my midlife bitches. It's not just luck, coffee and hormones that get you through your midlife remix. It's action steps. Let's do this. Hi, good peeps. This is the next episode of The flexible neurotic Podcast. I'm Dr. Sarah Milken, the flexible neurotic. Today I have such a fab guest. I met her at the Naomi Watts I am stripes event and sanitary city. I thought to myself who is that gorgeous woman and there's no way she's even 40 I need to talk to her. She's an Instagram phenomenon, a viral beauty content creator tick tock superstar. She's skin and hair obsessed and considered a health conscious content creator, sharing beauty tips on his product reviews, and a textured and vulnerable life experiences with her audience. She graduated from NYU with a bachelor's in science and PR and corporate communications, had her first makeup job at a shoe Sado makeup counter. And after a PR stint working in New York, she moved to LA started a beauty blog, got married, had two kids and became a viral content star. Her Instagram handle is bone divan, and we will talk about the origins of that name, she might become your newest and most expensive BFF because you will want to buy everything that she shows you. Thankfully, she does the pricey version and the less pricey version. You know that energy and beauty that you're like, I want to have what she's having. This is that girl. Her message from my perspective is that we really think about not finding ourselves but really about creating ourselves from the inside out through our decisions. Her name is Amy Chang from the handle bone DeVos with 1.6 million followers across social media platforms. Hi, Amy. I'm so excited. You're here. Hi, thanks for having me. What an introduction. Oh my gosh, well deserved. Okay. So in this episode, we're gonna go deep with our golden shit shovels in a deep conversation that will go into asking ourselves the right questions in the life journey, periodic self evaluations, am I fulfilling my highest self? And if not, what choices can I make in taking ownership of our lives and creating the lives that we want? And yes, of course, we're gonna get into her top makeup, skincare and hair tips da Okay, ready, Amy? Yes, let's do it. Okay, let's do it. Although you're white and what we might consider midlife approaching 40 loosely, I felt that you had such a powerful story, a personal story and path that led you to where you are now. And you have a gorgeous but definitely old soul vibe with the depth of personal introspection, and self evaluation throughout your life, and how we can be active participants in our lives. I know that listeners will be able to relate to your questioning and rediscovering ourselves at different points in our lives. We're gonna get into the fun stuff like makeup and skincare and all the glam, but this setup is first. So I want you to share some background on where you were born your childhood because I really think that that has shaped who you are today. Totally. So I was born in Busan, South Korea. And my birth mother was in middle school about middle school age who had a middle school education up to that point not married and she was unable to take care of

Amy Chang  05:00

me and put me up for adoption. And I was adopted when I was three months old by a family in Buffalo, Minnesota. And they had me for a period of time, but were unable to take care of me. And so they put me into foster care. And then I was eventually adopted by this lovely Jewish American, Italian American East Coast couple, my hippie parents. I feel like the universe just the stars aligned and I was meant to be with them. They're so wonderful. They had adopted another little girl from South Korea, who's three years older, my sister, so I'm the youngest of two girls. And I grew up in the suburb of the Twin Cities in Minnesota. So I mean, that right, there is a lot going on. There's a lot of Asian girls with Jewish parents in Minnesota. How did that unfold? Amy? Oh, my God, exactly as it sounds like being a teenager is hard as it is, but imagine being a teenager, Asian white parents growing up Jewish Italian mother. I mean, it's just a recipe for an identity crisis. Oh, my gosh. But I'm actually so grateful for how life unfolded because, you know, I was forced at a very young age to be introspective and ask myself, who am I? You know, what do I believe in? Where did I come from? What's my, what was my path in my past? What's my past or my path moving forward. And I think that there are a lot of people out there that are not challenged to have to go deep and inward. Until later on in life. I mean it like in life. I feel like I'm really fortunate that it happened to me at a young age, although when I was going through it, it was extremely tough. But I think it it helped me develop grit, and a very strong self sense of who I am. And just really, I'm so grateful that it forced me to turn inward and examine who I am and who I want to be. So yeah, and it also made me so multifaceted. Like you would not know it looking at me but I know how to like backpack in the woods. I know how to fish I know how to portage a canoe, like carried on my shoulders like these are the kinds of things that I did I'm gonna start up

Sarah Milken  07:26

Minnesota girl goes to New York and then moves to LA and becomes a beauty influencer. Okay, but at least you know how to carry a canoe. I will say this, though, that even from a very young age, I loved beauty and fashion. Like I was very feminine. I mean, I was going up to the Boundary Waters, backpacking, but I would bring my entire closet with me and was like doing outfit changes. You're like, I don't need food, because I need more outfit changes. Exactly. Oh, my God, that's so funny. That's like me. I'm like, yeah, go to the gym with makeup on. I'm like, That's just who I am. It doesn't even matter what's happening. I'm definitely sticking to that. Now, in terms of looking back on your life, is there anything now and I know you have two daughters?

Amy Chang  08:13

That you would say to your younger self? Like, I know, you don't want to have skipped all of those experiences, because they made you who you are. But is there something you would want to say? That would just sort of help make the path feel a little bit easier? Yeah, you know, I've thought about this. And I think I was like I was, I mean, I'm still very stubborn, but I was a very stubborn teenager and I don't think there's anything I could say to my younger self that would have my younger self do anything differently. But the for advice, you know, kind of for my girls or any other women, young women out there, like trust the process, and trust that it'll be okay, like, have faith in your resiliency and your ability to get through whatever you are facing. And that know that with this hardship is going to come growth. And I really believe that it's through those stressful times. You know, that's when something beautiful happens. And that's when growth happens. So, just I know, I feel like I'm in that now and in a totally lighter and different stage, but like with my 18 year old son who's applying to colleges right now, I'm like, Okay, I know, this is a really long process. And I know there's like some rejection that's coming along the way and you just have to know that in the end. It's all going to be okay, but that's very hard to tell to a teenager. Very hard. Working. Yeah, we're working on it.

Sarah Milken  09:44

Totally. I'm like as a midlife woman. I'm like, oh, yeah, let me get through that with my brain fog. I'm fucking sweating. What's happening here? Okay, so on a lighter note, in terms of your Instagram handle bone divan, I did not take French In high school, I was a Spanish taker. What does it mean?

Amy Chang  10:06

Yes, so the correct correct pronunciation is bone and a long. And it's actually a term that's used in fencing. And it means to like bound forward, leap forward. And when I was creating my blog, I really wanted there to be a space that I could help women leap forward and lean into what makes them feel good on the inside and on the outside. And that's still to this day, what my platform is all about, like, I'm just trying to help women out there feel good, you know, whether it's with wellness or treatments, or skincare or whatever, like, just, I think that we don't have that much time here on this planet.

Sarah Milken  10:45

So tell me how you got from Minnesota to New York City and why and how that played out?

Amy Chang  10:51

Yeah, so I, my parents, my dad was the dean at the University of Minnesota Veterinary College, and he got a job opportunity in Manhattan. And at the time, I was still going, I was like, 19, you know, I dropped out of college, I wasn't sure what I was doing with my life. I was definitely like, in the midst of that identity crisis. And my parents were like, Oh, my God, we can't leave our fuckup daughter here in Minnesota. Like, who knows we'll have her somewhere was like, we have to bring her with us to New York. And so they were trying to convince me to come out there. And so I went out there and at the time, my dad's the job that he had, they owned like a building in Midtown, and they used it for like, people who were going to come work at their hospital, they were like, hey, you know, here's an apartment. Anyways, they gave me this 19 year old my own studio apartment on the penthouse floor with like wraparound terrace. And they're like, Hey, you can just like come here and live. Live here. And I was like, Yeah, fuck, yeah, I'm doing that. I'm gonna win here. I'm doing that. But when I got there, my parents were like, Yeah, you can live in this apartment. But you got to like, make your own way. Like, we're not going to support you another way unless you get back into school. And when I got to New York, I immediately was surrounded by all of these people who had come here from all around the country all around the world. And were there with one ambition in mind, which is to achieve their goals. And that energy was so palpable, I was like, wow, I want that too. And I felt that deep in my soul, I was like, this is where I'm supposed to be. Maybe not forever. But for right now, I'm supposed to learn something I'm supposed to grow. And I just tapped into that energy. I applied to community college, busted my ass got all A's, like, you know, did the whole two hour commute to schools and back and all of this and then, you know, transferred into NYU and got my degree in communications and like, really turned my life around. I was on a very bad path when I was in Minnesota. And really, like New York changed my life. And so I got into, I did an internship at Shu Mora, which is a L'Oreal brand. And I told her beauty, I was like, Oh, I'm gonna do you know, beauty PR. And then, you know, I really got caught up in the food scene in New York, because I mean, it's such a foodie Mecca, and my mom's Italian, like, my second love really is food. Like I grew up with gardening, fresh vegetables, like, my mom would give us a colander. And she'd be like, go pick out the carrots or the zucchini in the backyard for dinner. And we would do that. And, you know, I was always in the kitchen helping her like prep the vegetables and cooking and, and so that felt like a very natural, like passion for me. And so I leaned into and I ended up doing hospitality PR at an agency when I after I graduated college, and when I was there as the PR coordinator. First off, I thought this job was gonna be super glamorous, like, I didn't watch him in the city. And I was like, I'm gonna be like, Samantha, PR girl,

Sarah Milken  13:56

food blogger.

Amy Chang  13:59

And like little Little did I know, as the coordinator, I was, like, 95% of my job was inside of a storage closet, like organizing the inventory, like sending out the PR mailers and the boxes like me and the UPS guy were like best friends, okay, my entire way. But it was such a good learning experience for me. I just learned about like, you know, press hits and magazines and kind of the calendar cycle of how that works. I learned about blogs, like my job is the coordinator was tasked with finding mommy bloggers at the time. This is like 2011 and sending them PR mailers, like of our artisanal food product brands. And so I knew about blogs and then when we moved to LA with my husband, now husband then boyfriend, I didn't want to go back into agency life. I was pretty burned out. Working at the PR agency. I was like I just want to start a blog and I don't know I wanted to I went on this like self exploration journey again when we got to LA and So I started this blog and I really wanted to explore like all like the beauty Mecca that is La like fillers, Botox, you know, skincare products, everything. And I just documented it in my blog. And like slowly, I found this community of other women who are curious about these topics. And you know, we just connected and it kind of like slowly grew from there, it was definitely a slow build. But I just, I loved it so much. And I would go meet beauty brand founders and interview them about what they were doing and write about them. It was really fun. I enjoyed it. And then I got on Instagram, but I was totally late to the game. And it was really hard to break through. At that time. It was so like saturated and, but I did like short form video content and stories. And my audience kept saying to me, Amy, we love your ability to take something very complex and synthesize it down into like a very digestible piece of content in your stories like short form video content. So when I got on Tik Tok, it just made sense, why my content translated really well there. And then I was able to, like grow an audience. And, you know, I just, I'm just enjoying what I'm doing, which is exploring, oh, how

Sarah Milken  16:14

long was that, like whole experience from the time where you were like, I've got to figure out something to do with myself to like, where you are now.

Amy Chang  16:24

Okay, so we've been in LA for 10 years, I started my blog in 2015 2016. And my platform really didn't grow until I got into Tic Toc, which was like 2019. So I was waiting for a while. So while I was like doing my blog, on the side, I was doing PR consulting work. And I was like, interviewing places. And so funny because I was interviewing for PR jobs at beauty brands that I now work with, and they like didn't hire me.

Sarah Milken  16:58

That's amazing. So what advice do you have for women who are, you know, in this midlife age, who are like, wait, I want to start something new. I want to start a blog, because it does feel so slow. And you're like, oh, I have three followers. Oh, hi can do this. Oh, it is so saturated. Like, what is your advice for starting something new?

Amy Chang  17:20

Okay, I have two pieces of advice. One that everyone says just do it just start? You know, yes, it is. It's really saturated. There's a lot of content creators out there, but there's only one you. And so your perspective is what is what's unique and different. And that's what's going to shape your content and make it unique and interesting and to like, be vulnerable from the get go. That's how you're going to grow really fast. Like looking back on my trajectory, I wish they would have done that. earlier on. It took me a couple of years to get comfortable. Like the first year when I was blogging, I never showed pictures of myself on my blog. When I was on Instagram, the first year and a half, I never showed pictures of myself my face or I didn't even really talk in my stories, I would show my hand and like show products, or I would write in the caption about them. It took me a couple years to finally get comfortable. And I had a friend who was another content creator who was like, you really need to put yourself in the content because people can't connect with just looking at products. They need to hear your voice, they need to see you and see your struggles and what you're going through. And once I started being vulnerable, that's when I got the connection with an audience because they were like, Wow, here is a person. And so when you see these people who blow up like Alex, or else Or like, you know,

Sarah Milken  18:42

oh my God, my daughter loves her. But it

Amy Chang  18:45

makes it makes sense. Or like the Mikayla is of the world, right? Like, what are they doing that allows them to blow up like that they're being vulnerable, like Alex Earle talks about having depression and being on Lexapro. You know, Mikayla talks about her eating disorder, they are baring their souls, and people are connecting with them. Because really, at the end of the day, that's what we all want. When we open up a social media app, we want connection, human connection, we want to express our true self feel seen and feel accepted and feel connected with others. So if you can do that in your platform, you know, you will be very successful. So I say that to all the younger creators out there, like BE YOURSELF truly lean into what makes you unique, be vulnerable, and just do it.

Sarah Milken  19:30

And I also think it's not even just for young people. It's for people who are like in their 40s 50s and 60s, because in this whole midlife space, I mean, when I first started two years ago, I didn't even have an Instagram account or a Facebook account, and I literally started from scratch and I was like, wait, I'm like, I'm gonna get on and show my face like what are you talking about? Like I don't even know how to like a post on Instagram. And so when I first heard it now I know I'm like, Wait, what happened? But I know my kids are like TMI shut the fuck up. You know, now I'm like midlife vagina, here we go. But what was interesting about it is when I first started, I didn't share that much about like my family or my husband or my kids. Because first of all, they didn't want it. And second of all, I was just like, oh, that's like, kind of weird. It's too private. But then I realized that the content that was in my podcast, which was very vulnerable, and TMI and sharing, and all of that didn't really match my Instagram. My Instagram was me, but it wasn't like the other side of me. It wasn't the deep part of me. And I was like I said to my kids, and my husband, I'm like, I know you don't love being part of Instagram. But the thing is, is like, I need to show like that I'm a real fucking human, with real kids and a real husband and real issues, and you're leaving your shit all over the house and all the things. Because when you're sharing information about your life, like you said, like people relate, people feel seen, even if it's not the exact topic. They're like, Oh, this is a real person. She's not like, perfect on Instagram all the time. Yes, yeah. And so how have you found that, like, I read this thing about you where you said to yourself, you know what, I'm not going to find myself, I'm searching for myself, and I'm searching for myself. But I've realized now that I've had to create myself. And I really think that that's a beautiful concept as it relates to self responsibility. Because I always talk about in this podcast that midlife self reinvention, like, I thought my husband was going to do it for me, I thought I could buy it on Amazon, I thought, you know, someone who was just gonna hand me this blue Tiffany box, it was like, Sarah, this is what you should do with the rest of your life. But it never happened. And self responsibility is so hard.

Amy Chang  22:06

Yeah, and it's, it's hard, because it's hard to know where to start. There's so much information out there, there's so many different opportunities that I think that that becomes very overwhelming, or at least that it was that was the case. For me, too. When I was in my teens, 20s. Like, I just felt really unsure about my life path. And I got really caught up in the labels, like I need to know like, who I am based on what my occupation is, what my you know, relationship statuses, what's this direction of my life? Like, what are the markers and the plans, and I kept looking back at the past, and I'm like, Okay, if I just understand what happened in the past, then I will know who I am and where I'm going to go in the future. And I got, like, very caught up in that. And I was kind of waiting to understand completely myself. And I was like, okay, then once I completely understand myself, everything will unfold. And I will know exactly what to do and how to proceed forward. And then it was so strange. I was like, one day, I just woke up. And it was probably like my second year of doing my blog that I was like, No, each day, I'm choosing to take a small step forward, and learn and grow and do this little blog thing. And it's kind of creating this space where I want to exist, and it's leading me down this path towards where I want to go and who I want to be. And it's not like one day, I just wake up and I am this person. And it's all explained to me. It's like no, i Day by day had to choose my actions where I wanted to go and slowly like the path became revealed to me in a way.

Sarah Milken  23:41

No, I love that. And I think that one of the big things I've learned in this two year process is even if you're scared, you have to do it anyway. And just for yourself, even if no one else knows about it, even if it's just for you, and the ability to tell yourself that it's okay to learn as you go. Because I think a lot of us are like, okay, but I'm like 45 or 50 or 55. And like nobody wants to start small. Starting small is like horrendous. It's like working at your PR agency. You're like you know, boxing things up and taping things. But if you can put the starting small thing into its own box and realize that no matter what level you're at, everybody starts small, but it's starting small for yourself and for this growth and for this person that you think that you want to become on this journey. But it's so hard to be in that like uncomfortable place of like because a lot of women don't want to start something because they don't know how to do the technology or they don't know what it how it's gonna turn out because so many of us are so goal oriented like, well, if it's not going to have a million followers, then I don't want to do it. And I'm guilty of that too. But then I just had to say to myself like fuck Get, I'm just willing to learn on the go. And it's just going to be the journey because otherwise, you're just gonna be sitting around waiting for everything to be perfect or to have the perfect plan.

Amy Chang  25:11

Yeah, and that can definitely be paralyzing. You know, just being a perfectionist or, you know, being concerned about being judged, I definitely had to get over that when I started. But it's, it's interesting to find, like I have, I've developed like new mom friends, like through my daughter's school. And so many of them who are full time moms like will come up to me on the side and be like, Oh, I think it's so cool what you're doing, you know, I have this dream, or I'm interested in doing this, but I'm just trying to figure it out. And I think it's just, it's, there's never, there's never the right time to do it. And you don't have to be a certain age to start something like if you have an idea, just go for it. And there are so many people out there who are like holding on to something that they want to try and do. So they'll see you do it. And they won't be judgmental of it, they'll be encouraging, they'll be excited, they'll be like, Wow, that's inspiring to me, because I also want to do something.

Sarah Milken  26:08

I love that you said that because I feel like there are certain women who get triggered by what other people are doing, and they're not doing. And then other women who take it as inspiration like Oh, my God, like Amy started this beauty blog, and I'm a mom at her same school like I can do that, too. So I feel like there's two ways of kind of cracking the same egg. It's like, are you triggered and envious of it? Or are you kind of inspired by it? And you want to go ahead and do it? Or a combination of both? Yeah, I mean, I kind of try to look at like, you know, I look around me, like who's doing things that I'm like, Wow, that's so cool. And I try to view it as inspiration. Yeah,

Amy Chang  26:55

I mean, I definitely used to be that envious comparing, kind of, I definitely had a time in my life. And in my late teens, early 20s, where I was that girl, you know, and I had a hard time, championing other women. And partly because I wasn't, I didn't know what my Northstar was I wasn't moving in the direction towards my goals, I was just kind of looking on the left and the right and feeling like, I don't know what my path is. And that doesn't feel good to me. And then I see other women like moving forward towards their goals. And that hurts because I want that too for myself. And I don't know how to how to get that. And so finally, when I took the time to like, turn inward again, and say, Okay, what's my North Star, like, where it's like, you can't, you can't go somewhere you don't know where you're going, right? You have to kind of have a general idea like this is, this is what I want. These are my goals for the next year. And then I'm going to focus my life so that the decisions I make every day like slowly move me towards that Northstar. And like each day, when you your actions, align with those goals and those values and what you want, like you'll feel stronger conviction and where you're going and more sure of yourself. And it won't really matter what people are doing on the left and the right, because you'll feel so good in this path

Sarah Milken  28:16

that you are on. Now, I know that that North Star concept comes up a lot in your Instagram and your content, tell everyone kind of what your version of it is, and how you use it as kind of like a list a personal checklist for yourself. Yeah, so

Amy Chang  28:35

the idea first off that idea of the North Star like that isn't mine that came from

Sarah Milken  28:39

Right, no, of course, but I'm saying your version of it.

Amy Chang  28:43

So years ago, I had a friend who was like, What's your north star and like, it's, it just stuck with me so much. And so what I do every year, is I get out my notebook. And I write down a couple of different areas of my life that like career, family, maybe health or fitness or friendship. And then I get like, very specific under those categories. Like for career, I will write down a list of like brands, I want to work with publications, I want to be published in milestones that I want, right? Or relationship, what are things that I want to happen in my marriage, right, I want to improve on or maybe a trip together I want us to take or with health and fitness, you know, some kind of goal, right? And I get specific and I write it all down and I'm like, this becomes my North Star. And I refer back to it and I'll look at it, I'll be like, Okay, this is what I want. This is where I'm going. And then every day with what I'm doing, I asked myself as I prioritize my life because like, you know, with kids, oh my god, we have no time to do anything. Like I barely have time to brush my teeth in the morning. And so, like being clear on where I'm trying to go helps me to prioritize my life because I'm like, Okay, does this move me towards where I'm going? If it doesn't, then I don't have time for that because this is where I'm going and It feels really good to have some clarity. But it takes time to turn inward and ask myself, what is it that I really want?

Sarah Milken  30:07

I know no questions are the hardest? Oh, questions are so hard, and then you don't hear the answers. And you're like, Where the fuck are the answers I'm meditating helped me, where are the answers? And it's sort of like this thing where you have to be willing to constantly ask yourself the questions until you hear a little whisper of an answer. Now, in terms of like, having kids, obviously, that changes everyone's lives. And you had a very busy and full life with, you know, all of your kind of influencer parties, dinners all of these things. What do you say to women who are like, and you have it all.

Amy Chang  30:50

You can have it all, but not all at the same time. And there are always trade offs with everything at life. And so I always try to remind myself to like, if I see someone else, and I'm like, wow, like career is going really amazing. I'm like, I'm excited for them. And I also remember that, that there are trade offs that I can't see that go along with that. And that's the same with my life, right? So I feel like you can do one thing, great. Two things good. Three things poorly. And I remind myself as I think about the different areas of my life, so I'm like the two things I can do good. My career and my family. And unfortunately, like right now, at this time in my life, like my friends are kind of on the backburner right now, like I have two young kids, I really have to prioritize like their activities in school. And then I have my career and my husband's, like, kind of in there somewhere. And

Sarah Milken  31:45

he's just knocking on the door. Yeah.

Amy Chang  31:47

And so but there were times where my friends were more of that priority and and I got to have those rich relationships with them. And I know that that will still be there. It's just like a different parts in your life, you'll have different pieces that you want. So you can't have it all. Just not all at once.

Sarah Milken  32:06

Yeah, I couldn't agree more. Because now when I look back on my life, I didn't plan this, I would like to say I did, but I didn't. Like, I really live my life and see have lived my life and seasons. Because I knew myself and like, although I had gone, gotten a PhD and all of that. And I thought I was gonna be this career woman. And then I decided to stay at home after my first kid. It was like, my whole plan changed. And so I thought, Okay, well, for me, I can't work and be a mom, and, like, do both things well for me. So I'm going to do this one thing. And then so here I was 16 years later, I'm like, okay, my kids are 1614. Now I want to do something again for me. So like, what is this season gonna look like? Whereas like, my mom did the complete opposite. It was like she had a full time career and kids. And so it's sort of like, what works for you doesn't always work for someone else. And being okay with it. Not everything can happen at the same time. And like my friends, it's like midlife is a time where you start to potentially weed out kind of bad energy or friends that, you know, no longer serve you and like, try to build friendships that feel aligned, and that have the same kind of energy that you have. And I feel like that that's like one of the best parts of the midlife journey is you've sort of earned this right just with time and experience where it's like, I don't have to fucking do everything that everyone's ever told me to. Like, I've already done all my half dues. Like what are my want to lose?

Amy Chang  33:46

Oh, I love that so much.

Sarah Milken  33:50

Like, oh, like I've done the carpool lines like I've done the PTA like I've done all those things and I have no regrets. Not one single regret. But now I'm like, okay, me time. And I think a lot of women see that as selfish but I don't I think midlife is a time where like self obsession is approved because the runway from now until you know we die. It's a long time. We can't just like park it.

Amy Chang  34:23

I think I think that there's a shift happening with thinking about taking action and going after what you want and or self care. You know, it's really you're filling up your own cup in a way and that allows you to give so much to all the other people that you love in your life.

Sarah Milken  34:40

So, yeah, I feel like it's been a great time for that. And I've appreciated that so much now in terms of like women supporting women. I know we talked about that briefly before but like I've always said now I feel like midlife is the time where we like don't have to all want to sit at The popular girls table, like you're like, Oh, I'm gonna sit at this table because I really liked that person. I don't care if someone judges me for it or whatever. For you being in the beauty industry was so much comparison. Like, how do you tune all of that out?

Amy Chang  35:19

It's hard. Sometimes there are times that I find that I do, I'll see something and maybe start to go down that comparison path a little bit. But like, I noticed it, and I'm like, Oh, nope, just, you know, nip it in the bud and just tell myself like, hey, there's a reason that they chose that creator, they needed, you know, that creators story or their brand align better with what it is that they're trying to achieve. And like, I have so many wonderful opportunities, there's like enough for God to go around, you know, it's not a zero sum game, like there's enough for everyone to succeed. And I feel like when we all, you know, I don't know, just focus on what our path is our North Star, like it just gets, it's easy. It's like, okay, well, I'm doing all the things that I can to move towards what I want.

Sarah Milken  36:06

Now, when you were at a certain point, I don't know how old you were, you were like, Okay, I really got to hone in and dive into these questions. So you hired a life coach, tell me about that. Because I did the same thing. I want to hear about it.

Amy Chang  36:22

I love having a life coach. At first, I was like, What is a

Sarah Milken  36:25

life? Oh, my god, me too. I was like, What are you talking about? Like, I don't even have a therapist, like I need a life coach.

Amy Chang  36:31

I was like, This sounds like a scam, just right off the bat. But the reason why I moved forward with this woman, because she's a longtime friend of my husband, they went to, they went to college together. And so we've known her for a long time. And she made this career shift into being a life coach to help people. And I would explain a life coach like this to someone, it's like a therapist, except instead of trying to unravel the traumas of the past and heal those, this, The Life Coach is trying to help you, like tease out what you want for the future and help you build a path to get that. That goal. So

Sarah Milken  37:08

that's the preference explanation. It's like, what's your next step? Not like what happened in your childhood?

Amy Chang  37:16

differently? And, like, one example would be I, there was a point in a time where I was thinking, oh, I want to start my own beauty brand. I feel like this is the goal for a lot of influencers. So like, at one point, you know, stop promoting other brands and like, create your own brand, right? And she was really helpful. She asked me, okay, like, why do you want this? Like, let's go deep. Let's figure out where does this come from? And then, like, create the plan. So I kept asking myself, I was like, Why do I want this? Right? And when I really asked myself that, it was because I wanted the external validation from my parents to be like, Wow, we're proud of you. Because, you know, their generation, like they barely understand what it is that I do or to be an influencer. Like they still, I mean, they just, they don't really know they're on Tik Tok, though, bless them, and they're like, liking all my videos. And like, my dad's really sweet. He's like, saw your new video.

Sarah Milken  38:13

But they don't shine in with the do. Yeah,

Amy Chang  38:17

like they don't really understand it, it doesn't hold the same, like prestige of being a doctor or a lawyer, right? So that and so I kind of like in my mind that, oh, if I create a brand, if I'm like a CEO of a company, like then I'll have their approval, and then in their eyes, what I'm doing will be worthy of love and value. And when I got to that point, I was like, wow, that's not the right reason to start something. And then I really asked myself, I was like, if being an influencer was seen in their eyes as being as prestigious as a doctor or a lawyer, like, what I still feel like I needed validation. But I still feel like I needed to create this brand. And the answer was no. And I asked myself, like, Am I happy with what I'm doing? And the answer is, yes. Like, I love what I get to do everyday, like create content, connect with women, like explore all these, you know, beauty, new products and interesting treatments. And like, share that with the world. I love it so much. And I realized, like, I just have to be confident and comfortable in what I'm doing. And like that, she helped me so much like kind of suss out like what why do i Why did I want to do this? What was I feeling like what were the right moves, how to make the path and then I eventually came to decision like, I don't want to do this right now. I want to focus on really enjoying what I'm doing, which is content creation, and be okay, that I don't need external validation from my peers from my parents. As long as I'm happy with what I'm doing. So

Sarah Milken  39:50

that is 100% Spot on. And that has been my experience too with my life coach, and it's very hard to explain to people but When you do it and you know it, it works. And you I read that she did this exercise with you, where it was like, imagine yourself in 10 years. Tell us about that.

Amy Chang  40:12

Oh my god. She had me close my eyes. And she said, Imagine the girl you were 10 years ago. Imagine what you look like. Imagine what you're wearing where you were in your life, the romantic relationship, you're and the friendships that you had where you were with your school your career, like, imagine that girl. Now imagine that girl, like, I'm getting goosebumps saying this. Imagine that girl can see you now. What would that girl say? And when she did that, I was like, Oh my God, that girl would say, Amy, I'm so proud of you. And like I started crying in the session because I was explaining to her how I felt like I wasn't doing enough. I wasn't achieving enough. I wasn't, you know, worthy. I needed more and, and then I she did that exercise. And I was like holy shit. Like if I think about how far I've come. I'm like, wow, you know. And so I thought I'd share that exercise with my audience. And I was like, I hope young women out there you guys do this? Because I think we get so caught up in what's next? What do we need to achieve the whole I'm

Sarah Milken  41:23

in it now more like, are you going to write a book? Are you going to do this? I'm like, I have no fucking idea. I just want to get through today. We're talking about today. I'm like, I'm a kid applying to colleges. I have a 16 year old daughter. That's a whole other ball of wax. I'm like, you know, I and I want to be present in whatever I'm doing. And not like we all have to have goals. But I think to have goals just to drive yourself insane to get to the next point. I don't see. I'm trying to stay out of that just like you're talking about. Yeah. Because it's always like, Okay, well, I've achieved this, this and this, what's next, but like, my husband's like, Sarah, you're not even like taking five minutes to appreciate like what you've created in two years. Because I'm like, What's next, everybody keeps asking me what's next. So I'm really like trying to trying to embrace it. It's not easy for like someone who's a little bit of a go getter, but I'm dealing with it. Now you said like in the, from your 20s to your 30s, you had this sort of glow up, like an all over glow up. And it was like in your 20s you were dieting in your 30s there was no more dieting in your 20s you were over exercising in your 30s you went for low impact in your 20s it was being critical of yourself and your 30s it was self acceptance. So tell me about how that transition sort of played out for you.

Amy Chang  42:53

Yeah, so the catalysts that moved me into this glow up was becoming a mom. After I had my first daughter, I mean, I I remember when I was in my 20s I was like very critical of myself, my body, how I looked all these things. And I wanted to change things about myself and externally. And then I had my daughter. And I remember like looking down into her little face and I saw my nose. I saw, you know, my thin lips, you know, like I just saw pieces of myself and I it was almost like I saw them for the first time and I was like, they're so beautiful because they're unique. And they're hers and they're mine and they connect us and why would I ever want to change them because I want her to be able to see her face in my face and be like wow, mommy's confident in herself. I can be confident myself too. And after that I was like you know these whole ideas of like wanting to get my nails done or like you know all this other stuff it's like I just she helped me to like really truly love myself because it was almost like this love for her you know and no I like all the dieting and just I just like really embraced like self kindness after becoming a mom I mean I it's hard to kind of explain how it happened over the course of a few years and then I but during that process it's almost like once I just accepted and supported and loved myself in a kind way I lost although I lost like 20 pounds I had I just looked radiant and it was like this internal energy but yeah, I mean once I stopped the dieting and you know all the over exercising and being critical of myself and hard on myself and comparing myself to other people like all that kind of negativity it was like holding me back and it almost like once I just dropped all that baggage and like I felt lighter you know and I move forward and just had this insane glow up where I feel like I don't maybe necessarily look better, but I feel so much better. And I think that radiates out.

Sarah Milken  45:11

But yeah, I feel like a lot of us are like, we're looking for a midlife glow up. We're looking for a rebrand. And it's not just about getting the highlights or getting the Botox. It's just about like a personal rebrand of energy to it's not just how you look, it's like what you're talking about. It's like, do I feel alive? Or do I feel burned out on this hamster wheel the same fucking day over and over again for decades? And like, we all seek novelty in our lives. I mean, it's natural. And I think midlife is a time where we're like, Okay, what's like, what's next. And getting the new car is going to cut the mustard for 24 hours. Right? And then you're going to be left going, Okay, I got that new car now what, and that now what is all that like internal work that we're talking about. And it's so hard, but so worth it.

Amy Chang  46:04

So like, I credit my mom a lot with constantly like, just teaching me to turn inward and like challenge yourself and really go after what you want. Like my mom was, you know, she had probably like four or five different careers like she started out, she was in the sciences and biology. And then after she adopted me, she was like, in our early 40s, she decided to go back to graduate school and be a landscape architect, because she loved nature and and plants. And then after she retired from that, she decided she got really into fitness and health. And she decided to train to be a and get certified to be a personal trainer and started a business and was training women at our house built out this whole gym. And then after that, you know, she's got into like Chinese brush painting and was teaching and my mom is like, 70 going to be 75. And she still is constantly like reinventing herself like in these different seasons that you were talking about. And like not afraid to step into, like reinventing herself and trying something new and exploring what she's wanting to like to keep that passion and that energy alive in herself.

Sarah Milken  47:14

That's so awesome for you and your for your girls, because then you feel like there's this like, constant. Like, it's not a rat race. It's like this constant evolution for good. Yeah, like, you don't have to be something or someone forever. And people aren't gonna judge you for that. Yeah. Because it's like you couldn't be a doctor. And I think some people feel like oh my god, I like I went to dental school or went to medical school. Like I have to be this forever, like, this is my identity. But it I think in midlife, we're kind of getting to this point where like, wait, maybe we can do multiple things. Yeah. And maybe we can be these kind of, you know, all around people and you don't have to be an expert. In one thing, you can kind of be kind of good at a lot of things. And that's okay.

Amy Chang  48:02

I saw this video on Tiktok. The other day that really resonated it was this girl and she was saying, hey to people out there who are interested in creating content or creating some sort of a platform like just do it. You don't have to be an expert. You don't have to have a PhD. Some sort of you know, accreditation or something to be like quote an expert because you have life experience and I want to learn from you and what you've been through.

Sarah Milken  48:26

And I love that it's so true. Hey peeps, it's me again. I listened to this episode with viral beauty content superstar Amy Chang also known on her social platforms is boned en avant, I'm so bad in French I was a Spanish student, so I could summarize the golden nuggets for you to have actionable items to start using today. I know that when I listen to a long episode, I'm like, oh my god, I love that. But then I can't even fucking remember the specifics. This is why I come back and do a golden nugget summary. In part one of this episode we discuss Amy's unique childhood experience early blogging years and current rise to beauty guru stardom don't miss part two which includes her epic list of recommended products for all things makeup skin and haircare Golden Nugget number one. Don't underestimate the personal impact of your upbringing. Amy was born in South Korea and was put up for adoption by her young mother who didn't have the resources to take care of her. At three months. She was adopted by a family in Buffalo, Minnesota but only a short while later, she was released back into foster care. Fortunately, a Twin Cities Jewish American couple whom she lovingly describes as hippies took her in and so she spent her youth and teen years in the Midwest. This time was filled with support and nurturing but was not without an identity crisis. Amy is grateful for this experience as it taught her at a young age to go deep inward and consider thoughts like who am I and why do I believe it? Golden Nugget number two Amy's advice to aspiring content creators be yourself and be vulnerable. I asked her what advice she has for midlife women out there who want to build a blog, or social media presence and her response was simple, be real, be vulnerable. When Amy first started, she didn't even show her face on her beauty blog. But a few years into the process, she got some great advice from a fellow content creator show you show yourself using the products you recommend and talk about your personal struggles and skin issues like melasma or acne. This human connection definitely took courage but her audience began relating to her as a real person with problems and this vulnerability helped skyrocket her Instagram and Tiktok profiles into social media fame. By the way, find a me as the ad sign be ONDNVA and T on all social channels. I can't even spell that golden nugget number three, we need a Northstar. A great tool for midlife self reinvention is to get your actions aligned with your goals. This is the North Star, Amy talks about how she uses this method. First, she creates a list of goals in different areas of her life such as career goals, fitness and relationship goals like a family trip. This becomes her Northstar, and she refers back to it frequently to make sure that her day to day is filled with action steps toward these specific goals. If something doesn't align, she cuts it out of her routine. This method is a great way to keep her goal focus and her time and energy productive, while avoiding pitfalls of distraction. This is especially important as a content creator on Instagram and Tiktok. Or it can be so easy to succumb to comparison of yourself to other people's personal lives and perceive success. Golden Nugget number four, don't search for yourself, you should instead create yourself. Amy talks about that when she was a teen she envisioned herself to find very much by the labels her career and her relationship status. She relied on these boxes and labels and they were how she viewed herself progressing through life and how she saw her future. We all experienced a bit of this projected upon us by our parents and friends around us the need to be defined by our marital status etc. As Amy has gotten older, she now realizes that things are not so heavily spelled out. It's all about small steps forward and you don't need to see your whole path laid out before you as you grow your path it becomes clearer. Her family wasn't too sure about her influence or lifestyle as their daughter's career. But now her dad follows her on tick tock and even leaves comments she finds support for them in this unique career path of hers. Don't miss part two of this episode where Amy shares all of her skincare and makeup favorites and from lip liners to retinoids we get it all in her detailed night routine. It's epic. The gold is dripping off these nuggets rabbit use it there are three things you can do well a million things but let's start with three first, subscribe to the podcast. Second share with some midlife friends who might like some good like shit and third write an apple review. writing reviews is really annoying and it's an extra step. But guess what? It really helps the podcast grow. You see your little review will matter but it does. If you went to a show and everyone said my clap doesn't matter. Then there will be no clapping. We all matter DM me you know I always respond and of course, follow my instagram at the flexible neurotic da love you talk soon

Part 2

Sarah Milken  00:04

Hey peeps, welcome to the flexible neurotic podcast. I'm your host Dr. Sarah Milken. Yeah, you heard that right. I'm a real PhD doctor. Long, long ago like last fucking year. I was sitting in the midlife punk wandering. Was this it for me? That day I realized I needed to get off my ass and start my midlife remix. I dusted off my PhD wipe the menopause, sweat off my forehead, grabbed my golden shit shovel and started digging deep to all my midlife bitches. It's not just love coffee and hormones that get you through your midlife remix. It's action steps. Let's do this. Welcome back to part two of my chat with Instagram phenomenon viral beauty content creator and Tiktok superstar Amy Chang, aka bone the vont Of course, I was a Spanish student in high school as you can tell it's spelled B O n, d and avant. In this part two, we get the intel on all her haircare makeup and beauty favorites, including her personal nighttime skincare routine. This is a super detailed chat naming the specifics that she loves. But don't stress, you don't even have to take notes, we made an Amy's favorite web page dedicated to all of the 50 Plus product lengths, find it on the flexible neurotic.com. At the top of the homepage, there is a banner that says Get the secrets here. Let's get started. See your beauty influencer. So we have to talk about some beauty stuff, or people are gonna just kill me. I know we could do like 97 episodes, but what I love about your content is there, there are some posts where you like are at your Mac launch and you look, you know, pristine and perfect. And then there's other days where you're like, look at these six pimples, look at my melasma. And there's this sort of sense of like, yeah, I look kind of quote, perfect on some days. But most days, I'm kind of like a normal human. And I think that that's like the relatability of your platform. I know that personally, I can relate to the melasma thing, because that's my worst nightmare. It's such a struggle. It's a constant battle. Ah, so for people who don't know what Melasma is, it's I mean, the way I look at it is like the brown staining that's on your face. I know that's not a very clinical way of talking about it. But what has been your experience with melasma in like a short, little snippet and like, what do you think what has worked the best for you?

Amy Chang  02:54

Okay, so Melasma is the pigmentation on the skin that's typically hormonal HR bed, and that's how it's different from like pigmentation that comes from exposure to UV rays. And so it's really difficult to get rid of because hormones can trigger like your menstrual cycle, getting pregnant breastfeeding, you know, different kinds of medications can affect it, like it's really coming in internally. So it takes a combination of like external like products you're putting on the skin, but also the work you do internally like I found what works for me is, you know, I found out through elimination diet that like eggs and dairy caused a lot of inflammation for me. And so I cut those out, you know, I tried to cut out gluten and I focus on a skincare routine topically that helps to reduce inflammation to help with some of that pigmentation as well as like some ingredients that are you know, very gently helping to exfoliate and prevent the melanocytes from over producing melanin so like a really good product I love is by Skin Medica it's called Light Tierra. I have it's wonderful. I love that because it's so dull. The thing with Melasma is that if you over exfoliate, if you go too aggressive with it, the inflammation inflamed the the pigment and so like the melasma darkens. That's why I have to be super careful if you're using like retinol or

Sarah Milken  04:18

lasers. Yeah, and even if you use oils on your face, someone said to me, like if you're using like an oil cleanser or using oil during the day, you're basically like putting a mirror on your face and being like, son come to me, Come, come come and I'm like, oh my god, I use oil every day. So like, it's definitely a journey. Yes. Oh, and the other thing was like my husband loves the sauna now because I kept sending him all these like Instagram posts about how you're supposed to do the sauna for your cardiovascular health. And he's like, why are you getting in for someone who keeps sending this shit to me? And I'm like, because they said that you can't heat up your core body temperature or creates mold Asthma, am I right or wrong? It can trigger it in

Amy Chang  05:03

some people, not for everyone, but they have found for some people. So I mean, I, I sometimes notice it that triggers mine, but I don't have as much of an issue with that. But yes, they do say like avoiding like saunas, hot yoga

Sarah Milken  05:18

because that Yeah. And what red light thing do you use on your face? Yes.

Amy Chang  05:23

So I use the current body, red LED mask, and it's a combination of red and near infrared light. And what they have found in studies is this combination like stimulates collagen but also reduces inflammation in the skin and I found it helps so much with my picking, because then it allows me to use actives like vitamin C, like stronger niacin, amide, that could be irritating to my skin in my melasma, but then it's helping to reduce that inflammation so I can get through using the way tell me

Sarah Milken  05:51

the name of it again. Yeah, it's called current body, current body and how often do you use it?

Amy Chang  05:58

Lightly?

Sarah Milken  05:59

Yes. Wow. Okay, so it's great.

Amy Chang  06:01

Just like strap it to my face and I lay down and I'm on my phone and I do

Sarah Milken  06:06

my super sexy. Yeah.

Amy Chang  06:08

I love that.

Sarah Milken  06:11

So take us through your night routine.

Amy Chang  06:13

Okay. So I'm really a big advocate for cleansing the skin thoroughly like I will wash my face like four or five times because yes, I know it sounds psychotic, but women I've heard

Sarah Milken  06:25

of the double cleanse for my teenage daughter but not the quadruple cleanse. Yeah,

Amy Chang  06:30

I mean, I know I'm reapplying sunscreen every couple of hours. I gotta make a bond. I'm really getting in there to make sure that I get every last bit off because my scent skins rather sensitive and I find that if even just the little bits on there, I will break out the next day. Thoroughly cleansing my face. Then I like to use the SK Putera essence a sketchy Putera essence because it has like a fermented yeast in it that has B vitamins in it which strengthen the skin barrier. So put some of that on and I'll do my serums then I'll do my mask and just chill and lay lay

Sarah Milken  07:04

out which serums in which moisturizers are using.

Amy Chang  07:08

Okay, so like Tierra for sure. You know some of the serums that are constantly changing because I'm like trying out new products. So that one the moisturizer I'm using right now is a CoCo keychain. The resurrection cream is actually the best budget friendly anti aging peptide moisturizer. It's like under $3 at Target. It's so good and hydrated. It's fragrance free it's made for sensitive skin. I love that one. What else did I use last night Oh Museum and allies have skin niacin amide booster serum that I've really liked nice and in mine is fantastic to have help with textured skin and pore size helps to regulate sebum production.

Sarah Milken  07:48

And what percentage is that because I'm using a niacin amide also right now twice a day for my melasma but what was interesting about it is I felt like it was amazing for a month and I don't know the past few days I'm like fuck is it back?

Amy Chang  08:03

reapplying your sunscreen ever to our No of

Sarah Milken  08:05

course not. Yeah, but I'm like it who wants to reapply sunscreen over makeup? Can you okay first of all, what what serum so tell us like two top serums and is it the hydrochloric acid serum that you like what's the order of events? So you wash your face three times, four times

Amy Chang  08:26

maybe more? Oh, well I'll use like I'll use like an oil cleanser or balm cleanser. I mean right now, like Tik Tok has had this hack that went viral where you use a foaming cleanser on dry skin. you massage the cleanser without water in for like a couple of minutes. Then rinse with cold water it takes forever to rinse it off. But it is amazing it like the cold water you know reduces inflammation the skin is so clear. I'll do that a couple times. I really liked this one called Replenix okay really good gentle cleanser. Polish choice has a really nice gentle foaming cleanser use or I use like the C default daily foaming cleanser like stuff that's like pH balance really gentle for oil cleansers. I was using the Peach and Lily one that was good. And then last night I wanted like a little exfoliation so I use the Josie Moran cleanser that has like pineapple enzymes in it that way and some of the,

Sarah Milken  09:27

the order you you do you stand in front of the mirror with your makeup from the day and what happens.

Amy Chang  09:34

And then I'll cleanse my skin four times,

Sarah Milken  09:36

but you use the oil for the oil cleanser.

Amy Chang  09:40

Go first if I'm going to use an oil, it's first the oil then it's a foaming cleanser. Maybe I'll do it, you know go through it again. And then I'll use an essence and then I'll use my serums and when I do my serum I'll do like a hyaluronic acid. And then I'll do like my vitamin C hyaluronic acid like pulls things deeper than that. skin. So you wanted that one and then put the vitamin C and my niacin amide. And but some, it just depends like, this is why it gets so complicated because like some vitamin C's you can apply at night because they do 24 hour antioxidant protection. Some like don't and you'll want to apply it during the day. Like this is why it gets so complicated because, you know,

Sarah Milken  10:20

so what vitamin C do you like to use at night?

Amy Chang  10:23

I'm using the allies of skin one.

Sarah Milken  10:26

Do you really like that brand? Because isn't that the under icon under eye cream you use also? Yes, they

Amy Chang  10:32

have a really good peptide, eye cream, that's great for firming above the eye, it's a Singaporean brand. And like the founder has like some bio pharmaceutical some day and it's like, it's just a very well respected brand in my my beauty community. Like all the other beauty influencers that I know are like obsessed with that brand. It's really good. Like, the products are very efficacious, like good percentage of actives. And, like you see results. And,

Sarah Milken  11:01

and yeah, in terms of the higher Lonneke Which one do you like? Or which ones do you like?

Amy Chang  11:06

Oh, yeah, my favorite is the SkinCeuticals. By I think it's called vitamin B serum vitamin piece. Yeah, so yeah, love that one. And then I'll do the alleys of Skin Serum, and then my moisturizer. And then I'm like, in my mask, you know,

Sarah Milken  11:22

but do you ever feel like there's so many layers that you're just rubbing everything off? Like do you wait, like for everything to dry in between?

Amy Chang  11:30

Not my serums Yeah, I guess. No,

Sarah Milken  11:33

I just like, you just pile it on.

Amy Chang  11:36

I just do it. Yeah. And I just press and I go and yeah, maybe I'll wait like 30 seconds between each one but not a lot. Because

Sarah Milken  11:42

I always feel like by the time I get to like a fifth one. I'm like, What could possibly be left? So you don't go in a circular motion you Pat?

Amy Chang  11:51

Yes. I like to pat and press. Okay. Pat into the

Sarah Milken  11:54

skin. Okay, so you must look like a glowing bomb by the Oh my god.

Amy Chang  11:59

I'm so Gracie. I'm like a huge greaseball Caroline I

Sarah Milken  12:03

know. That's what I hate. Because the my facialist was like, You need to like use some more moisturizer like some of your skin's dry and like, do you understand that I have to save a blow dry. Like, I my hairline might be a little bit dry. But I don't have to wash my hair. Okay, like these are very high level activities that are

Amy Chang  12:22

really neat a product for that issue,

Sarah Milken  12:26

which is right and then it looks like oh like dandruff because yeah, it's dry around my hairline because I don't want to get the moisturizer over there. And she's like, What about wearing a bonnet to bed? I'm like, okay, so Invisalign, the bonnet Rogaine? I have a laser hair laser helmet. I'm like, talk about like your husband like wanting to be somewhere else. That's like, that's like a sheer recipe for that. Oh my god. Okay, so do you have a favorite moisturizer? Or we talked about that the cocoa kind one? Yes. Yeah, that's do you use that during the day? Also?

Amy Chang  13:05

You shouldn't during the day, I don't use a moisturizer. I'll just cut on my sunscreen.

Sarah Milken  13:10

So in the morning, what happens you splash my

Amy Chang  13:14

face with water? Yeah. Although recently I have been using the sky Jupiter essence on a cotton pad and just wiping my face.

Sarah Milken  13:22

So to get the six layers off from the night. Although

Amy Chang  13:25

most of them most of that's in my pillowcase

Sarah Milken  13:27

or in your hair. Yeah.

Amy Chang  13:31

I'll do that SK to prepare essence and then just put on some sunscreen.

Sarah Milken  13:36

Yeah. Wow. And which sunscreen Do you like?

Amy Chang  13:40

Oh man, there's so many I recently tested out this new one by super group that I really like it has bakuchiol in it. And what does that do? Some of it has SPF 50 bakuchiol stimulates collagen production and reduces redness and suits the skin. It's a mineral sunscreen that's tinted and it's really nice because very hydrating has kind of oily feeling to it. When I want to put like a lot of makeup on on top and I want something matte and smooth. I'll do the Elta MD I use that every day. I love that the tinted SPF 41 That's a really great one because makeup sits so well on top of

Sarah Milken  14:17

it so good. I mean it says it has higher lauric acid in it does it I have no idea. But I somehow like my makeup can slide on that and I'm like Okay, we're good here. Yeah. Okay, what about a favorite brow pencil?

Amy Chang  14:32

Oh my God, my favorites is the closest thing it's called Arab brow. Brown. It is so good. I'm on like my fourth or my fifth pencil. I love it so much. And the reason why I love it is because it has the just the right texture like it's not too hard. It's not too soft, where it gets messy. It's like that in between the texture and so I can just easily stroke it out as like fat asked and sloppily because I'm always in a rush in the morning, and then just comb it out with the brush and it always looks perfect. And I have to try that. It's like that right? Texture. Because when they're too hard, it takes Oh, yeah, like you have to actually sit there and do each stroke and

Sarah Milken  15:18

I use the Shan to Taiwan for that exact reset. Yeah, because it's sort of like I've probably gone through 100 But it's like the like you're saying it's like soft enough, but hard enough. It doesn't drop off weird flakes. And then I kind of like brush her then. And then I put like a clear mascara kind of over my eyebrows. Yeah, so I looked super placard. Now I saw on your Instagram that you did. What is it called again? When you Derma? No. What's it called? When you do your microblading? No. Yeah, yeah, that was called. Yeah. Are you like, Are you like tattoo your eyebrows?

Amy Chang  15:56

Yes, I had that done. Because in fifth grade, I got a hold of tweezers and literally never recovered from them. I have to show you a picture. Like both of my eyebrows looked like a very thin pencil squiggly line?

Sarah Milken  16:11

And did you like it? Because I've seen some people that come out looking like a little scary from it.

Amy Chang  16:18

I'm really happy with who did mine. I went to this woman in Cape Town. And she's been doing it for decades. Like really this technique came from East Asia like

Sarah Milken  16:27

so. And how often do you have to do it?

Amy Chang  16:31

Like once every three years? Oh, wow.

Sarah Milken  16:33

So it's not that often. And then I saw that you did this, like tattooing on your hairline wants it but you haven't done it again. I've been like dying to do that. Yes. So it's

Amy Chang  16:43

the same technique that they do on the eyebrows, they just do it on your hairline. And they can kind of reshape your hairline. They actually go in between the follicles and like darken it. So it looks Your hair looks so thick, and they'll even do a little bit of your part. But the thing is that I haven't a bit of an oily scalp. And so because of that mine faded really fast. So I paid like $700 or something for this right? A lot. And then it faded after like six months. So I was like,

Sarah Milken  17:15

interesting, because I have like thinner hair. Yeah, I'd like thinner hair in the front. And I'm like, Oh, maybe I should fill it in.

Amy Chang  17:23

I mean, if you have a dry scalp and it's not on the oily side and may last longer, she said it could last from a year to a year and a half. But she told me that mine wouldn't last that long. And the other thing too about having a dad is like once you have it done, you can't shower for like 10 days.

Sarah Milken  17:38

Oh my god,

Amy Chang  17:40

it kind of itches because you know, it's like a tattoo. plastic thing with some awkward for

Sarah Milken  17:45

law. That's like that's like having plastic surgery. That's too much of a project. Oh my god. Okay, let's talk about your 17 Step hair routine, like one deal on the cleansing the double cleansing the triple cleansing and that all day.

Amy Chang  18:01

Okay, so when I shampoo, I always do a pre wash first. This is the best way to get the really good lather out of any shampoo. So you take a really small amount, and you make sure your hair is really wet before you do this. Kind of massage a little bit and you add a little more water and like doing the motion. Yeah. And then you go in with your regular amount of shampoo and you will have this intense lather.

Sarah Milken  18:28

That's a you don't rinse it you don't rinse out the first dollar before you do the second.

Amy Chang  18:33

I rinse it a little bit not fully I rinse it just add more water to the hair. Okay, okay, I'll go ahead and massage it in. So I do that first. It kind of like depends on what the day is like if I'm really gonna go in there for the full shebang like I'm gonna do like a some sort of a scalp serum that like is exfoliating has maybe some little scalp granules in there.

Sarah Milken  18:58

Oh my God, my daughter should live with you, honestly, because she does all this shit. She's 16 She's like, Oh, I just did like a scalp renewal treatment and like, What are you even talking about? And all these I know all these products appear and I'm like, what is that? And then she's like, Oh, this is the newest dry shampoo that's non toxic. That's a powder and I'm like, Oh, all right. Okay, maybe that's a little too much time on tick tock. But she's she's really good. I know. I that's what I said to her last night. I'm like, You better get into that rabbit hole. Because or actually maybe don't get into that rabbit hole. Or I'm gonna have it all showing up at my house. Okay, so how do you not so because you have oily hair. How do you keep the grease at bay? Do you use a dry shampoo?

Amy Chang  19:47

I do use dry shampoo and I was so crestfallen when I saw recently that my favorite dry shampoo was contaminated with bedding. Yeah, that was that was hard. But what do you use

Sarah Milken  19:59

now? Oh, oh, now

Amy Chang  20:00

I recently switched to this new product that just came out from a brand I love called. It's a ray. I think the name of it is like, wait a second, okay. And it's powder dry shampoo. It has a pump. And it's slightly colored. Not. It's like a topi color. So it's not white, but it's not dark brown. It's kind of like in between. And what's interesting about it is it has the ability to read pigment gray hair. I don't have gray hair. But I like the idea that this dry shampoo is actually good for my hair versus other ones.

Sarah Milken  20:35

I know that's, that's a scary part about because I love dry shampoo and hairspray because I have very fine hair. And so I feel like if I wash my hair, and I don't put products in it, it's just like a limp, wet mess. It's just gross. So I feel like sometimes I have to like put texture into it, but not too much. Otherwise, it's dirty. Yeah,

Amy Chang  20:58

you should try this dry shampoo. I think you would really like it. It's called Wait a second. Yeah, because a lot of their products are actually formulated for people who have finer thinner hair.

Sarah Milken  21:07

Okay, yeah, I use a volumizing shampoo and all of that. Okay, now I know you use a what is it a rose spray on your scalp? Yes. And what's the deal with that?

Amy Chang  21:21

Because I have an oily scalp like five or six years ago, right wrong time of starting my blog. I had to wash my hair every single day. Because I was flaking and I had all this excess oil, it was so bad. And then I learned like I was just over washing my hair and causing my scalp to produce more excess oil. But in the midst of all that, like before I had discovered that I was learning about this rose mist for my face and I was reading about you know what this ingredient does how it reduces inflammation. It's antibacterial, antifungal, it's you know all this stuff, right? So I was like what if I just spray this on my scalp? So I started spraying and after I washed and towel dried my hair parted in Section spray parts right massage and and and it was like instant relief from my irritated scalp. And the other thing with the rose MS is it slightly hydrating. And so it's sued the scalp. It kind of sued this like overproduction of oil. And so I do that and it really helps with my oil production and students got like got rid of the fluid flakes immediately. So I have been asking this to my audience like for years and like people DM me all the time. And they say oh my god, thank you so much for your rose water hack any because it like worked immediately.

Sarah Milken  22:35

I have to get that for my daughter because she's like obsessed with. She does a like a keratin treatment in her hair. So she doesn't and so but the problem with it is it makes your hair more manageable, but it makes it super greasy. But she doesn't want to wash her hair every day. So she uses the dry shampoo. And then she uses too much dry shampoo and it makes her scalp itchy. It's like a whole thing. So maybe the rose mist would help. Yeah, what brand is it?

Amy Chang  23:03

So I really liked the one by cocoa kind also. Yeah, are good. It's like 20 bucks, like I like their products because they're really reasonably priced and they're really efficacious. But there was another one that I was using prior to that it's by Tammy fender, but it's like $70 road and the thing is you when you do it you have to use the rose hydrosol you can't just use there's like Okay, I gotta go there's like two different types of Rose waters right like you have the rose water that is just distilled water and they'll add like a couple drops of rose essential oil to it and like shake it up and that that stuff is inexpensive. It's like five bucks a bottle. And then you have the other stuff which is what you want for this because it has all those benefits from the rose plant. It's called Rose hydrosol and it's like the steam distillate of the rose pen so they take all of this rose plant matter all these petals and steam distill it down and then out of it comes this liquid and that is what they make the rose water out of which is why it's so expensive because they need like pounds and pounds and pounds of rose petals to make this so this the cocoa Cayenne one is the one that I found to be the most like budget friendly because it's like 20 bucks. The the one I also really like and recommend to people who want to splurge is the one by Tammy fender. It's organic, but it's like 70 bucks.

Sarah Milken  24:25

Wow. And how so you use it every time you shampoo after you shampoo. Yeah, so

Amy Chang  24:28

after I get out of the shower, I have like a lengthy routine after like I'll tell will dry my hair. I'll spray on the rose water to help with oil production and like sued the scalp. And then I'll do a hair growth serum. And I recently started using an anti grade zero.

Sarah Milken  24:45

Now tell us about the hair growth serum because I saw that all over your Instagram.

Amy Chang  24:49

Yes, I love this one by Maya chia. So I've tried so many on the market. The Maya Chia one I like the best because in my experience, it works. The fastest I saw results after one month with it. Whereas like the vegan marijuana tried, which does work, but it just, it had a longer lead time it took like two months for me to see results. Same with the ordinary one. That one's good. That's the best budget friendly. It's like 30 bucks. But again, it took like two to three months to see noticeable changes like that.

Sarah Milken  25:20

And I wonder how the Maya Chia compares to like, I don't know, using Rogaine or something.

Amy Chang  25:26

Yeah, so the thing is, like, it includes like these different peptides that protect the hair follicle deliver amino acids that help to stimulate, you know, the fall, go and make it healthy. And it also has in it like topical caffeine and studies, topical caffeine and a 2% solution has been found to be as effective as topical minoxidil. Wow, it's just as harsh.

Sarah Milken  25:50

Yeah. How do you use it?

Amy Chang  25:53

So I use it now to maintain after every time I wash my hair, but in the early days when I was using it because I had a lot of hair loss like I would do it every single night.

Sarah Milken  26:04

And then do you have to wash your hair the next day? No, no. Okay, because I find with Rogaine It like makes your hair weird that you feel like you have to wash it.

Amy Chang  26:15

So I used Rogaine. That was the first thing I tried like five or six years ago, and it irritated my scalp so much. I even tried putting up my eyebrows. And I don't know, it just didn't work for me.

Sarah Milken  26:25

Yeah, I've not committed enough to it. I do do it occasionally. But it's like one of those things where you sort of like after really stick with it. But if I had one like you're saying the Maya Chia Juan, maybe I would use it because if I didn't actually have to wash my hair. Yeah. Okay, and what about supplements?

Amy Chang  26:44

Okay, when am I taking? I just started taking magnesium, I take omega threes, I still take a prenatal because I'm just like, oh, just has everything. And I'm gonna do that. What else? I mean? I've been doing Tumeric with pepper.

Sarah Milken  27:01

And do you take them multiple times a day? Or do you take them at a specific time?

Amy Chang  27:06

I just turned in the morning. I keep all of it at my desk.

Sarah Milken  27:10

So I'll see it. And I totally I know. Yeah, after you have to remind yourself okay, wait, I saw two things. You said glutathione. Oh, yeah.

Amy Chang  27:19

So I take that that's actually in my fridge because I do a liquid form of that I had a follower, you know, recommended to me after I posted stories about how glutathione can actually help with it can help to reduce melanocytes over producing melanin. So dark spots, right. So if you go to Korea, they'll do like IVs of glutathione to help to get flow to the skin. It's not going to be the same as like doing something topical or like a laser but I like to just do it because it's an added internal thing.

Sarah Milken  27:50

Totally. I love that and is there a brand of the liquid one that you like

Amy Chang  27:55

to like, I can't remember the exact name

Sarah Milken  27:57

I'll find it on your Instagram and I'll put it in the show notes for people and then there was another weird thing something with a weird name it was like ask tax and then Oh yeah. Oh, so

Amy Chang  28:11

you're watching my story.

Sarah Milken  28:12

Yes. I have to fucking research this conversation.

Amy Chang  28:18

Yes. So as to ask tax then is really great. It just to help to protect the from the telomere telomere, telomere shortening, which is what the heart of aging. So you know, like you'll see skincare brands out there like Dr. Barber STURMS includes an ingredient that prevents telomere shortening called purslane. And that helps to protect your DNA your cells from technically aging, so

Sarah Milken  28:46

got it. Okay. Now, what about, like a favorite lip color lip line, or do you have any faves?

Amy Chang  28:53

Yes, I really liked the buxom lip liners by myself. Yes, box them so it's, it's owned by Shia Saito. I love their lip glosses too, because they're all plumping. I'm addicted to like that tingly.

Sarah Milken  29:11

Oh my god. Yeah,

Amy Chang  29:14

okay. Your daughter near basically.

Sarah Milken  29:16

Oh, no. I mean, honestly, she's coming over later. Don't worry. She's gonna organize. She's gonna be your new assistant. She's gonna organize all your shit. Yeah.

Amy Chang  29:24

She won't be a content creator.

Sarah Milken  29:27

I honestly will. Right now. It was really funny that you said that is because she's like a foodie. So she has like a food blog situation and an Instagram going on. But at the same time, she's also like obsessed with like makeup and beauty products. So I'm like, Okay, what's she going to do with this one? So I'm like, meet Amy.

Amy Chang  29:45

I would love to challenge my gosh.

Sarah Milken  29:49

Okay, so buxom lip gloss.

Amy Chang  29:52

Oh yeah. I also love the Dior lip boil. I mean, me and like,

Sarah Milken  29:55

oh my god, lead other people. Oh my God, my dog. louder with the lip. That oil kills me. She's like I lost it. I just need one more. I'm like, what they're like $45 And then every time a friend has a birthday party, or a birthday, she buys them on and I'm like, You really think someone wants a $45 lip gloss and she's like, yes, their parents won't buy it and I'm like, Okay, fine.

Amy Chang  30:21

You got to be a kid in this day and age.

Sarah Milken  30:23

I know I'm like, why is happening here but I'm like fine if that's what you want to get her for birthday. One little lip gloss from Sephora. Go right ahead. Okay, what about lip liner?

Amy Chang  30:38

The puck some has a good lip liner that I like also there's one of them currently using by Bare Minerals. Oh, okay. It's like this pink color. Trying to think and there's another really good one I like by Huda Beauty. I recently started diving into huge of beauty makeup it is so

Sarah Milken  30:55

I feel that h o u dA. Hu da Hu da. Okay.

Amy Chang  31:02

Yes. So it's created by an influencer like a mega influencer. She's huge and she has a skincare line and a beauty line but like her makeup is so good. She's one of the OG YouTube to beauty gurus and it makes sense like why her makeup is so good she's probably tried everything in the industry yeah.

Sarah Milken  31:18

Wow and then I saw that you like rare beauty my daughter likes that too.

Amy Chang  31:24

Yeah, that's a great brand too. I really liked they just came out with highlighters that are so finely milled looks just stunning.

Sarah Milken  31:32

Okay, I'm sure we'll get those delivered to the house. A lip mask. I saw you talking about this lip mask like it was gold? Yes. It's $16

Amy Chang  31:40

it's at Ulta it's by this Korean brand it's called Hi do it's like in this little pink container. My lips

Sarah Milken  31:48

were so dry on oh my god minor like flaking off. I'm like she couldn't be able to see my lips.

Amy Chang  31:54

Or they're constantly like a an eye on my lips. Were so dry in Vegas. We're on this girl's trip. And I put it on and they were like, butter. Like, within an hour. It was so good. I was like damn for $16 Forget. Wait, so

Sarah Milken  32:09

wait, what is it called again?

Amy Chang  32:11

It's called Hi do okay, that's

Sarah Milken  32:13

my that's my brain because I saw another one that you talked about. That was plush party.

Amy Chang  32:19

I think it's the hide who is the brand but the name of the lip. Oh, yeah, got

Sarah Milken  32:24

it. Okay, see, I did my research. Okay, now let's before we wrap up, let's talk about retinoids for a second. I know you have like a whole thing on retinoids retinoids are like your best friend and your biggest enemy because they create so much flaking and they're so annoying. So tell us how you do it.

Amy Chang  32:42

Okay, so I recently just started on prescription Trent and I got it from this online place called hers and had like a virtual consultation with the doctor and then they sent me my custom cream had like nice has nice in mind and say like acid and chat and and a point 5% And my dermatologist was like just like go all in. Start using it every day. And like, you know, just push through the retinal uglies, which are what they call it when it's this period of facial retina zation when you're getting adjusted to the speed up of cellular turn, I've

Sarah Milken  33:16

done that with hydrocodone.

Amy Chang  33:19

And how did it go? Did you get through it? Like

Sarah Milken  33:22

what I mean? Yeah, I got through it. But then it's like, you're like, oh, it looks better. And then like three weeks later, it's back. So you're like, Why did I just go through that whole fucking thing.

Amy Chang  33:32

So I recently stopped using it because I went to go see my injector for like a touch up on some filler. And she was like, What the fuck are you doing to your skin. And I was like, my dermatologist told me like this to just push through because I haven't used prescription tread since like before I had my daughter so like five years ago or something. And she was like you're breaking. There's a broken blood vessel here. Like from it being too harsh. It's like it's too strong for you. So now I'm on the hunt for an alternative to this. But she was like, you know, it's so strong for a lot of people. A lot of people have sensitive skin, you know, it can be really great, but you have to be so draconian about reapplying sunscreen throughout the day because like any little bit of sun will

Sarah Milken  34:17

shine your light in your car. Then you're in your car and then I had my Windows extra tinted. Hmm, like I mean, then I like I know it's not legal, but like I had my windshield slightly tinted just to take like the UV rays out so it's not dark, but it sounds like because I'm sitting in carpool and I'm basically frying my face off with the hydrocodone and Retin A and like I'm literally baking it. I have the sun visor down and I'm hanging a sweater over the sunvisors I mean it's like a nightmare but you can't live like that in LA.

Amy Chang  34:54

No. So that's what I'm trying to look for an alternative right now but Yes, I'm that same like if I back up in to you in your car and you see a woman with like, gloves on a full visor and like a hat like can't see out the windows like that was me.

Sarah Milken  35:08

Oh my God, no, that's me too. But that's why I started using the niacin amide. What's the eye but it doesn't see what percent it is, what's the highest percent you can get away with?

Amy Chang  35:18

Well, it's not, you don't want to go too high. Because if you go too high, it's like, you're just going to irritate your skin. And like, studies show that like more isn't necessarily better. Like the sweet spot is between like, you know, one to five, one to 5% 5% Being on the high end. Okay?

Sarah Milken  35:35

Yeah, cuz I'm like, I feel like it's running out on me. Okay, so if you had to bring five things to a desert island, what would it be? Other than your husband and your children?

Amy Chang  35:44

Okay, for sure. I'm bringing sunscreen. I probably bring the Elta MD with me. I'm definitely bringing lip liner. I know that seems like really just innocuous and like not needed. But I feel like I look at myself in the mirror. I need lip liner. Like every day, I'm turning into my mom. I would be broke because my mom applies lip liner and lipstick every day when she's in the house alone and she won't apply.

Sarah Milken  36:09

I do the same thing. I mean, not lip liner, but like I wear like a tinted moisturizer. I cover my melasma with my concealer. It's like a whole thing. Yeah,

Amy Chang  36:20

I feel like because I look in the mirror. I'm like, okay, that's me. Yeah. And

Sarah Milken  36:23

that's how I say it. I'm like, this isn't for anyone else. This is for me.

Amy Chang  36:26

That's exactly what my mom says to and I'm like, I feel that same way that same energy, but I'm okay. Yes. So I'm bringing a lip liner. Can I bring a hat is that consider you have five things? Okay, so I'm bringing a coolie bar hat. Now. It's not like you don't want to just wear a hat because a lot of hats especially strong ones when they're little tiny holes. Shit. Yes. So you really like if you're gonna invest in skincare lasers like prescription right? And like all this stuff, you really need to get a good sun hat. So they have this one that I have been wearing for years. It's called the Britney hat. It has

Sarah Milken  37:06

a huge grin on your that mom. My daughter's like that visor is beyond hideous. She's like, do not pick me up in that. Just wait until your daughter's get old enough to critique you. And you're gonna call me and be like, FOC Yeah, now they think you're a queen.

Amy Chang  37:28

She's already doing that. And she's four and a half years old. She was like, Mommy, you have little kids teeth on the bottom and adult teeth on the top. Like, the other night when my face was peeling from the tread, she was like, how can you have like all this dry skin? You look like a really old woman.

Sarah Milken  37:47

Like, why do you have a beard mommy?

Amy Chang  37:51

Like straight to the heart. They know.

Sarah Milken  37:53

They know and your husband just ignores you. He's like, Oh, God, her beauty treatments again. Oh my god. Okay, so what's the brand of the hat?

Amy Chang  38:02

Okay, so it's called Cooley bar. And not only is it that the visor is really big, but they actually take the material and they dip it in ups and the UPS has up to 50 so it's gonna block 98% of UVA UVB rays. So I'm bringing that I got my lipliner got my sunscreen. I got my hat. What else am I bringing in? I mean, I'm probably not doing filler Botox on the islands. I wouldn't need my nurse Jamie pillow that like cradles my head so I don't sleep on my side. Do you really sleep with that? I do. I used it last night. Yes. I use it ever.

Sarah Milken  38:37

I just had my filler redone at Jason Diamond's office. And I'm like, I then I was like, Okay, wait, do I need a special pillow? Do I not need a special pillow? Do you really think it matters that much?

Amy Chang  38:51

Yes. Because I get like a little filler along my hair to my temples and like just a little bit in here like on the sides of my face. Right? Well, everything back and I love sleeping on my side. And I like to sleep on my left side and I noticed that the filter dissolves faster on this side and I look lopsided and I go in and I'm like, What the fuck when I go see nurse Jamie and she's like, Do you sleep on your left side? Don't you? I'm like yes, I do. And she's like, I can tell by the way that because it just it's pressure on it. So

Sarah Milken  39:27

yeah, cuz they're like it's moldable and you're moving it but then when you put that is it like a you contraption where you feel like you're like trapped in like a like a device.

Amy Chang  39:37

So, yes, so imagine like an oval pillow and then there's a little cutout right here that like cradles the neck when you want to sleep on your back. And then it has a side cradle for those who like to sleep on their side. And what it does is it puts pressure like here on the jaw and then here on your head so that you're not putting pressure on your face or your filler and that's the side too Typically I use or I'll be on my back. And when I'm on my back, I don't move all night like literally in this

Sarah Milken  40:08

spot on I, myself thought I would have to drug myself to stay in that spot. Oh my god. Okay favorite t shirt. T shirt.

Amy Chang  40:17

Okay. Would say I just got gifted some T shirts and this brand called cuts on Amazon and they're so cute and comfortable. Yeah, and

Sarah Milken  40:28

do they have good but do they have good like elasticity like, are they Yeah,

Amy Chang  40:34

they hold up really well through washes. I also really liked this brand that's made here in LA it's called Ellen a clothing. Oh, yeah, I have that. I think they sound like reformation. Yeah.

Sarah Milken  40:45

Yeah,

Amy Chang  40:47

they have really great quality. It's like basics that were up and through lots of washes.

Sarah Milken  40:52

I know I really do like my redone T shirts. They're they're like a good crop but not cropped when you don't want it like hanging down pasture ways. But you also don't want like your whole stomach hanging out like you're holding out a crop like I'm petite like right now. That's my problem. So I'm telling you to read don t shirts. redone size small is like a perfect fit for me. It hits right at the waist. You don't have to do a weird front tuck in situation. The whole thing. Okay, what about favorite jeans?

Amy Chang  41:28

Okay, I don't wear jeans like COVID happened and I just gave up on jeans. I was like, I'm not

Sarah Milken  41:33

talking to you. Where are you either and like a prom dress or leggings. Basically,

Amy Chang  41:40

I'm doing like leggings when I'm home. I'm doing like lounge sets. You know, there's a lot of sweatpants going on. I mean, I work from home, right? I'm not trying to sit at my desk and wear jeans. I like I like silk pants or like linen pants. I'm into trousers. Like that's kind of my thing right now.

Sarah Milken  41:57

Just saying. Yeah. Yeah, you just need a really good steamer for that. I feel like I'm like, fuck, I have all these crotch wrinkles now just from sitting down, like,

Amy Chang  42:08

rocking it. I just rocked it. I'm like, yeah, they're they're

Sarah Milken  42:12

like, whatever. Okay, so wait, as we wrap up, what's your biggest piece of advice for women who are trying to, quote create themselves not find themselves?

Amy Chang  42:25

I would say embrace yourself because you are probably your worst, your harshest critic. And the things holding you back maybe like fear of being judged by others, or like kind of uncertainty and self doubt. Like that's all in your mind, you know? And all you have to do is just change that switch so that the voice says something different to propel you forward. So just be mindful of that and then go for it.

Sarah Milken  42:56

Do you basically turn your inner bitch on mute? Yep.

Amy Chang  43:02

Much more eloquently than I

Sarah Milken  43:04

know. It's like truck driver mouth is what it is. Oh my god. Okay, so Instagram. So if people want to find you Instagram, spell your handle. Yeah,

Amy Chang  43:15

it's a it's at Bo and DENAVAN. T. I like people will ask me like, Hey, are you going to change your handle to your name? I'm like, No, I mean, I like I like what it stands for. No one can fucking pronounce it. I have to spell it out all the time. But I'm like, Oh,

Sarah Milken  43:35

boy. It's like when people try to spell neurotic. I'm like, wait, they're like, I can't find it. I'm like, do you know it's n e u r? And they're like, oh, wait, I flipped the letter. So I totally get it. I totally get it. So where can we find you?

Amy Chang  43:49

So you can find me on Instagram. You can find me on Tik Tok. I'm also on YouTube. But not doing long con long form content just yet. It's mainly just like reposted the other videos on the other platforms. And yeah, not on

Sarah Milken  44:03

what about do you have a blog? Still?

Amy Chang  44:06

I have not posted on my blog in probably two year.

Sarah Milken  44:10

Okay, so that's not a big thing for you anymore. Yeah, no, but

Amy Chang  44:14

there's content there. You can check it out.

Sarah Milken  44:16

So, Amy Chang, viral skin, hair and beauty content creator health conscious, health conscious content creator and influencer. Thank you for saying yes. Thank you for chatting all things your life, creating meaning through choices, sharing your vulnerabilities and advice and of course, all of your beauty tips and tricks. Happy to call you a new friend of mine and Fab guest of the flexible neurotic podcast. Thank you.

Amy Chang  44:46

Thank you for having me.

Sarah Milken  44:47

Oh my god, so fun. I mean, honestly, now I gotta get my daughter into the you know, Amy Chang rabbit hole. Hey, peeps, it's me again. I listen to this episode with viral beauty content superstar Amy Chang. On our social platform is Bon den avant Yes, I was not a French student, B O N D E NAVANT. So I could summarize the golden nuggets for you to have actionable items to start using today. I know that when I listened to a long episode, I'm like, oh my god, I love that. But then I can't even fucking remember the specifics. This is why I come back and do a golden nugget summary. But in this case, the Golden Nugget summary is written out for you. It's an Epic List of Amy's favorites. It's a detailed cheat sheet with all the products and links for you to check out. Find it on my website, the flexible neurotic.com And at the top, click the banner that says Amy Chang's faves. In case you missed it, check out part one of this episode where we discuss Amy's unique childhood experience early blogging years and her current rise to beauty guru startup. The gold is dripping off these nuggets, grab it, use it, there are three things you can do. First, subscribe to the podcast. Second, share it with some midlife friends who'd like midlife shit, and third, write an apple review. writing reviews is kinda annoying. It's an extra step. But guess what? It really helps the podcast grow. You think your little review won't matter but it does. If you went to show everyone said my clap doesn't matter. Then there would be no clapping. You all matter. DM me, you know I always respond and of course follow my instagram at the flexible neurotic da love you talk soon.