“Everyday Midlife”
with Bobbi Brown
Bobbi Brown 0:00
What isn't hard? I know kids being a wife being a friend, running a business. Everything's hard. I know. It's called like life is work.
Sarah Milken 0:15
Hey, peeps, welcome to the flexible neurotic podcast. I'm your host, Dr. Sarah Milken. Yeah, you heard that right. I'm a real PhD doctor. Long, long ago, like last fucking year. I was sitting in the midlife funk wondering, was this it for me? That day, I realized I needed to get off my ass and start my midlife remix. I dusted off my PhD wipe the menopause, sweat off my forehead, grabbed my golden shovel and started digging deep to all my midlife bitches. It's not just love coffee and hormones that get you through your midlife remix. It's action steps. Let's do this. Hey, peeps. This is the flexible neurotic podcast and I'm Dr. Sarah Milken, the flexible neurotic. When I started my podcast, I had this bucket list of if only guests and this woman was one of them. We don't know each other we just met but she is friends with Jennifer Fisher. And this guest responded to something on my Instagram after she saw it on Jen's Instagram and I was like, Wait, what did a famous person just message me? Is this a fake account what's happening here? And it was Bobby Brown. I was so lucky to get into that DM exchange with her. And I'm so happy to have her here today. I literally bought probably 500 Pink sugars, Rose sugars, everything sugars my entire life with my mom, we would go to the mall and buy all Bobbi Brown. And today we're gonna talk about her new makeup line Jones road. Welcome, Bobby.
Bobbi Brown 1:53
Thank you so much. So which mall did you go to?
Sarah Milken 1:57
Oh, the Santa Monica Mall? Okay. Oh, I know. We're from LA we I was born and raised in LA. I did a little stint on the east coast with my husband. I went to Penn. So we did a little East Coast time. But the Santa Monica mall. I mean, we had the department store Macy's like all the department stores. And I just remember the black packaging the whole thing and now we're onto Jones road white packaging,
Bobbi Brown 2:20
while the color I sent that I suggested to you of course if you wore those other colors, you would like this color. Wait, tell me what it's called. Again. I
Sarah Milken 2:29
gotta write it down.
Bobbi Brown 2:30
This one is called pink gold shimmer. Cool. Okay, gold shimmer.
Sarah Milken 2:35
Okay, my daughter probably will wear something totally different. So it'll be perfect. Okay, so today, I know you have limited time, but I really want to pick your brain for myself for midlife listeners. And we want to kind of dive into I mean, I can't even believe how old you are. It's like not real. Why? Everyone looks at you you're 65 and 65
Bobbi Brown 3:01
and every single I'm on the cover this month of Danny Seo with Danny and of course it says that it says better Bobby 65 Why is everyone so focused on my age because
Sarah Milken 3:13
you look so young like all these people messaged me and they go ask her why she the how and why she looks like that. And she doesn't even do anything.
Bobbi Brown 3:23
I don't do anything. So look, I'm going to show you my lines. I mean you don't do anything No, I don't do anything and I you know when the truth is when I look in the mirror and think I look bad is usually when I'm tired. Yeah, it's just not even a question so yeah, of course I'm tired and luckily I'm you know, the, the potions and lotions around me I kind of go like this and I'm like, oh, yeah, look better. You know, our hashtag for Jones road is how not to look like shit. I know. I love that. Yeah, and honestly, I'm in dire need of a touch up because I am 100% gray. And so every two weeks I get my hair colored water project mines on Thursday. And I have often do do it. I hate to say this but I don't have grades Yeah, well don't be hate to say it so
Sarah Milken 4:10
no, I just because people were like What do you mean but my mom's 73 And she barely has any it's totally a genetic thing. But I get like roots you can see my black roots. I'm getting colored done on Thursday because they come in fast
Bobbi Brown 4:23
right? But first of all, it's not black your hair is a lie.
Sarah Milken 4:27
It looks black. You know when you say you look tired. That's how it feels on me. I look in the mirror and I have this sort of like darkened ash shadow around my face.
Bobbi Brown 4:36
This is what the problem is with women because you know some people pay for, for Bali eyes. You know where it's dark, often. So really what's happening is the perception of what you are seeing and telling yourself Wait, aren't you uh, what are your shrink? What
Sarah Milken 4:54
are you? I'm a PhD in educational psychology.
Bobbi Brown 4:58
Okay, so psycho art. So you're Dr. Psychology Well, yeah, we rebrand to, but basically it's like you could either look in the mirror and say, Wow, I look so cool today. Or you could say I look terrible today.
Sarah Milken 5:09
Yeah. And then I've heard you say when you're having those days, you got to walk the fuck away from the mirror.
Bobbi Brown 5:14
Yeah, you just stop looking honestly, you stop looking.
Sarah Milken 5:18
I know because literally I woke up three days ago and I have this like reptilian skin under my eye. I was like 12 pinkeye what's happening here, and the more I looked at it, the more upset I got. And I was like, I can't look at this anymore. Nothing's gonna change
Bobbi Brown 5:32
now, but what you need to do because it's something is really dry under there. So you just need to either put an eye cream like an oil, something to kind of hydrate and then it won't look bad, and then it'll go away.
Sarah Milken 5:45
I know, I've been slathering it on. But then my mascara is creeping down my face and that looks like I've been crying. You know, it's like in the midlife zone, you kind of get to can't get it right all the time. So you got to just do your best, right? You get a pair of a pair of
Bobbi Brown 5:59
glasses. Do you know the glasses or you look at the situation, right? Okay, so you're fine. Oh, yeah.
Sarah Milken 6:05
I just like cover everything up. Okay, so let's get into the little details. The little details of you. You were raised outside of Chicago. You're one of three kids. You have a Jewish family just like mine. Your parents were regular peeps with dreams for their kids. I think you went to Emerson College. You said you weren't really a school person. But at Emerson, you felt like you could do all the things you wanted to do. You graduated with a degree in theatrical makeup and photography, moved to New York City to work as a professional makeup artist. You're married with three adult sons. Two are married. One is having a baby any minute. And you live in Montclair, New Jersey with your husband of 1000 years who you adore. You guys are a team and everything. And you started Bobby Brown that you sold with testy Lauder with him. That's the setup. Let's get into the juice.
Bobbi Brown 6:58
Wow, I really love this podcast. I don't even have to talk. I know. Isn't
Sarah Milken 7:02
that fucking amazing? Yeah. Because I want to get into the real juicy stuff. Okay, so we already talked about the fact that you're 65 You don't look like you're 65 But what's the best part of getting older for you?
Bobbi Brown 7:15
Honestly, the best part is just like the knowledge I don't mean to but every time I sit with one of the girls that works for me, and we talk about something that is going on. My advice is very sage. Like I just have very sage advice because I've been there I've done it. It's like not a big deal. I'm like guys, look when we make it simple. It just works. So getting older for me is just being comfortable in who I am what I know. And not dealing with the things that are uncomfortable which I could complain about, you know, sometimes my body's stiffer than I like yeah, it's probably my age but I don't look at it as my age I'm I look at it as what can I do to fix it? What can I do to feel better in my body?
Sarah Milken 7:58
And I probably worked out yesterday maybe your fucking sore
Bobbi Brown 8:02
possibly or or even probably more. I have been in very stressed and busy lately and I've not been
Sarah Milken 8:09
breathing or maybe dehydrated too.
Bobbi Brown 8:13
Yeah, I'm why now I water. Me too.
Sarah Milken 8:16
Or I've tried like every hydration powder. I'm like, I got a Moulton like my hydration because sometimes I feel like a reptile.
Bobbi Brown 8:24
Yeah, well, honestly, the best thing you can put in your water I find because I hate all those weird chemical takedown of their natural is I just put sea salt in my water. I did that this morning. Yeah. And that's it's the best electrolyte. That's really good. The
Sarah Milken 8:39
funniest though is my husband doesn't so last night, I guess there was a remnant bottle from the morning. And he takes a sip of it. And he's like, Oh my God, what's in that water? What's happening here? And he's like, now I need to get somebody to get this taste out. And I'm like, oh, it's seesaw. He was like, That's so weird. What are you talking about? Well, he told me, he should be careful. I know. I trust me. He'll be drinking it next week after he like reads about it. He has to do all his research first. Okay, so here we go. The Forbes article called you Bobby Brown 2.0 reinventing her life and career at 61. Would you say that? That's like a fair statement. Did you really reinvent your life?
Bobbi Brown 9:25
Well, when I left Bobbi Brown cosmetics and Estee Lauder, I was 59 and three quarters. So I was still in my 50s. I was 59 in three quarters without a plan. Like it wasn't like oh, this is what I'm going to do. Now. I usually kind of just follow my gut and do organic things and I left and I was like, Okay, what? And it was really the weirdest thing was I'm so used to being busy. I'm so used to being occupied. I'm so used to complaining about how busy I am. All of a sudden it went went from 100 to zero. And it was like, you know, the silence was like killing me. I'm like, Oh my god. So I started reaching out to people, you know, I'm like, oh, that's possible. I could do that. Oh, that's interesting. And then I just started looking around and kept doing things. And all of a sudden, I was involved with a shop at Lord and Taylor called the just bobby shop, because my friend owned Lord and Taylor, and he's like, No, we're gonna give this to you right in the middle of the store on Fifth Avenue. What do you want to do with it? And I'm like, Okay, thanks. And that was one project. I worked on a hotel with my husband. He had a building that he was thinking about either making it into apartments or a hotel. So we opened the George hotel, and then I've read
Sarah Milken 10:44
about it. It's amazing, because every single thing there is an is a curated experience,
Bobbi Brown 10:48
right? Yeah. Honestly, it's the way we like to travel. It's what we would want. If we were going to a hotel, you know, well,
Sarah Milken 10:56
I better be close to any of the schools and my son decides to go to college. Because after that, college tours, spring break, and the hotels I stayed in, I was like, oh my god, is this ever gonna end?
Bobbi Brown 11:07
Yeah, no, I know. We did. We did the same. I had one son that went to school in California, one that went to Oh, and one that went to Syracuse. So
Sarah Milken 11:19
okay, so you had one sort of close ish? And then you had the other chair?
Bobbi Brown 11:23
Yeah. Well, it's the same. I mean, driving to Syracuse was the same amount of time as driving into, you know, San Francisco. So
Sarah Milken 11:31
wait, how you're in New Jersey?
Bobbi Brown 11:33
Oh, you're saying? Why? Nothing? Right. Right. Right.
Sarah Milken 11:36
I was like, Wait, why do that math Bobby. Right. No, no. So yeah, that's like, that's gonna be one of my questions for you later. But I might as well ask now, because it's on everybody's minds with all of my friends dropping kids off at college. How did you deal with all of that empty nest is a really big deal for a lot of us.
Bobbi Brown 11:53
How was it ever
Sarah Milken 11:55
you?
Bobbi Brown 11:56
It was not easy. And I'll never forget when my oldest Dylan got into Stanford, I mean, it's a huge deal. You know, I like I studied makeup in college. So in my wildest dreams, like, Would I ever think that kid of Mine will go to Stanford? I love that. Yeah. And so for his graduation party, I went to Costco because I do it myself. I don't hire caterers. And I was going to buy things and I had to go to the ladies room. I went to the bathroom. But in order to go to the bathroom, you walk by the diapers and wipes. You walk by the Tampax and then you walk by walked by the depends. And it was like you I remember, I was so depressed. You know, but But you know what? It was so exciting to drop him off. We went out for breakfast in San Francisco and over the loudspeaker in the morning, I left my heart in San Francisco and ah, I could still cry. Oh, hard. And by the way, if it wasn't hard, then you know what? It wouldn't matter. Like, I know, our kids are everything to us. And
Sarah Milken 12:58
I didn't know did you find though, see, like in my mom's situation, like I grew up in a house with a full time working mom. And she was like you she was busy with work. So it was like she dropped us off at school. But then she had the ability to kind of get back into work. And it wasn't this. I'm sitting at home. And my kids were my whole life and what do I do next? And I feel like sometimes I think for women who don't work outside the home or have a huge passion project going on. They're like, wait, what do I do now? And I think that's who a lot of these listeners are in my podcast because that was me for 17 years. My son just turned 18 I've been a stay at home mom all this time. And when I turned 45 I was like, fuck, I have the midlife hitches like, I have to do something, because these kids are leaving. And that's how I know but it's hard. And it's a lot of work and but I've loved every second of it. But it's it's you gotta find
Bobbi Brown 13:57
a plan. Yeah, but dude, what isn't hard. I know kids being you know, being a wife being a friend, running a business. Everything's hard. I know. It's called like life is work and life. You know, life is work even when I have so many amazing things going on. But it's like I'm exhausted right now. You know, I had a unpack from the summer because we have a beach house and then I'm going to and I know no one feel sorry for me, but I'm going to somewhere else in another house. And I'm like, oh my god, I have to unpack and I have to repack
Sarah Milken 14:31
and I do feel sorry for you because even though they're like privilege problems packing is my worst nightmare. You should do a capsule. Yeah,
Bobbi Brown 14:40
I do. I'm a wardrobe. It's easy. I you know, and since I have lost weight, I don't have to bring different things to wondering what's going to fit me like I'm like, Alright, this is gonna fit me now. So it makes it much easier but it's if people don't know me, I am the person that would come home. After work. I put my robe on And I would make myself scrambled. If I was by myself. I'd make myself scrambled eggs, pour myself a little vodka on the rocks, eat my food and just kind of hang around like, home.
Sarah Milken 15:11
It's so funny. That's how that's how my husband and I are to my sons and daughters. friends come over and I know they're thinking like, Do your parents ever leave the fucking house?
Bobbi Brown 15:21
My husband, my husband comes home from golf. And he set calls me up and he's like, alright, what are we going to do? And I'm like, I don't know. Just know. Just always wants to be doing something. So
Sarah Milken 15:34
Oh, no, my husband's like, if no one talked to him, and he could just play fetch with the dog in the backyard and lay whether you're around that would definitely be him. Now, did you have any tips from the empty NASS like? Was there anything that made it better or was just did you talk to him every night you texted?
Bobbi Brown 15:51
Well, you're not even going to believe this. But I have not been empty nesters yet. I'll tell you because we've had foreign exchange students. So we've had foreign exchange students, Dylan went to college, we had a foreign exchange student that our second son went to college, we had another foreign exchange student. Our third son actually decided to go to high school in Colorado, after a year in the local high school. And we had a foreign exchange students. So I wasn't an empty nester, my my kids were gone. So
Sarah Milken 16:24
and they hired our children. Right.
Bobbi Brown 16:27
But then my nephew's between jobs lived with me. So it's kind of like a joke. So I have two of my four nephews that are on the East Coast. And you know, when they graduated college, and they didn't know what they were doing, they moved in with me. So I had them for a while, you know, and then a kid would come back, they'd graduate and they'd come back then. We've not been empty nesters. And then we hosted a family from the Bahamas after a hurricane. So then I had all these new new boys who you like energy and commotion. I you know what I do, but I'm right now I'm really looking forward to Oh, and then now my youngest son just moved from California. He's moving to Montana. But in the meantime, he's with us. So again, we're not empty nesters. So I'm actually looking forward to coming into my house. I have dogs. So it's like I had her. So thank you. But you know, it's commotion and it's noise. And I'm kind of looking forward to where the only mess in the house is something I've cleaned
Sarah Milken 17:26
up, right? No, I get that. I think so like even just my son starting his. Yesterday, I realized it was his last first day of high school. And I was like, oh my god, like how did that happen? And I know he's gonna love me. He loves High School. And I know he's going to love college. But I'm just like, wow, first of all, my daughter is going to be here for another two years, but then it's going to be like empty NAS but my husband and I are going to be 50 Yeah, oh, no, I'm like fuck I bet are like really get re in touch with my husband. spending so much time together.
Bobbi Brown 18:03
And you know, a lot of women at that time decide to not be with the husband or they decide to be with them. Some people get closer, some get further. Yeah, all sorts of things happen. And you know, life. That is probably the hardest part of when your kids leave the house. Things are not the same. Like your friends are not going to be the same anymore. Like things change.
Sarah Milken 18:26
I know. And I think
Bobbi Brown 18:27
that that's moving, they move, right?
Sarah Milken 18:30
divorces, all these things that you're just like, you know, I've known my husband since I was 13. So we're like this sort of rare, weird couple. But it's like just as a midlife woman watching all of these different things happen. I'm like, how and sicknesses and you know, grief and aging parents, it's
Bobbi Brown 18:51
a lot. I know when you have a choice to kind of think about it, dwell in it and to be like a sad sack about it or delay. Think about the opportunity. Like what would you do? If you could start over? Like, what would you do my father when he left his law
Sarah Milken 19:09
firm? Your dad by the way, is there I interrupt you looks fucking amazing. Is 87
Bobbi Brown 19:15
I mean, nothing else? Oh, my God, you're gonna have to tell us what his secret is. I saw him on Instagram. And I was like, attitude. It's an article. It's 100. And he taught me that he's he taught me that you can't always control your situation. But you can control your attitude. He's gay. Yeah. And he had a tough time because his wife is, you know, which was my stepmom died of Alzheimer's like in her 70s. And, you know, he had to deal with a woman who wasn't well, he did not put her in a home. He had her in the house. I don't know how he did. It was awful. And he had to deal with it. And then he had to deal with when she passed what he was going to do. And he he woke up one day and he said, Yeah, you know, my life doesn't suck. My attitude sucks. Any, I guess I said it to him. I'm like, Dad, your life doesn't suck. Your attitude sucks.
Sarah Milken 20:04
Yeah, but the fact that he was loving enough to be able to absorb that. Yeah. I mean, it's really incredible. Now for women who are thinking like, Okay, what's next for me? What's your advice for them?
Bobbi Brown 20:20
Well start to think about what you want and what you like, you know, either something will fall in your lap. You know, I think of my friends, my sister in law, you know, one of my two sister in laws, one of them was a teacher, and she, you know, retired and she traveled with her husband a bit. And then she needed something, she didn't want another job. But now she volunteers and like, literally feeds families that, you know, are really in need, like in her community. And she gets to know the kids and she gets to read to the kids. And she's very fulfilled. You know, my other sister in law, who was another who also was a teacher, I think she was a vice principal, when she retired, she got a job in a fancy linen store, she just loves dressing up a couple of days a week and selling really nice sheets and linens. And she gets, you know, a lot of them for free. So she loves that, that makes her happy. And she spends time with her husband, and, you know, reinvents her life. So it's your like script to write. Right?
Sarah Milken 21:22
I know, that's a lot of power. But it's also like, overwhelming to and like you said, it is it is a state of mine of how you view it. And I know you said I've read that you don't have hobbies. I don't have hobbies, either. I'm like, hobby list, Bobby. Yeah, I don't really Marshawn I don't play pickleball. And I'm like, oh my god, I'm gonna be the one in the old age home who like, doesn't have anything to do?
Bobbi Brown 21:44
Well, you'll have you'll find something. I mean, what you must like to do something I love to organize. I love to exercise. I love to walk. So I love
Sarah Milken 21:55
all those things, too. But that you know, when you're 80 I don't know, you know, I just I think about it because my husband's a hobbyist. He plays golf, he plays the piano. He
Bobbi Brown 22:05
does have all these things that I'm like, I think I need some hobbies. Well, you gotta find something. I'm just assuming that when I have a grandchild, that'll be my hobby, right? It's like, Oh, I'm gonna go see the baby. And by the way, I've raised three boys. It's a girl.
Sarah Milken 22:20
I hate to say this, but that's what I was going to ask you. My husband is the oldest of all boys. I had my son first. But then when I was having my daughter, my mother in law was like, Are you sure to girl Sarah? I'm like, what? If an amnio could be wrong? Yeah, maybe I'm not sure. It's like crazy, because she was used to just all boys sport energy. And suddenly she was like, wait a granddaughter? Yeah. So now I also read that you hired, you didn't hire a life coach, you had a friend who was a life coach who reached out to you tell me about that, because I had a very similar experience. And I think a lot of the listeners of this podcast, are interested in this life coaching concept.
Bobbi Brown 23:01
Well, the cool thing about a life coach compared to a shrink, is they don't really care about your mother or your father, or where you grew up and what your brother did and all this stuff. They care about, like how can we help you now? So the life coach who was a friend of mine, you know, he saw me after I left the brand, and he just said, I want to come and talk to you. And he helped me like, organize in my brain some things and helped me prioritize, and every week he would give me things to work on. And my favorite thing that he did, which really changed my life, and my attitude, was I would complain to him. He says, like, what's bothering you? I said, Oh my god, I'm just so aggravated. You know, this is messy. This couch is a mess. There's a pile here. There's this hair and he said to me, okay, let's walk around the house. Show me everything that bothers you. And I pointed it out. And then he said, Okay, I want you to walk around the house again, and take a picture of everything. So I took a picture of the pile. I took a picture of my couch that live you know, the cushions were coming out, my drapes, every single thing that bothered me and I sent it to him. He came back the next week with a sharpie and printed pictures. And he said I want you to write down and we went through it. Alright, here's the couch. Here's where you call to get it stuffed. Here's this pile. Just make sure you do it by Thursday. And he also said look at the couch for a second he said just stop look at the couch. He said what happens on that couch. I said well to everyone watched watch his TV. You know when the kids come over there watching sports. He's like so you have really good memories of that couch. I said Yeah, but it always drove me crazy because it wouldn't I'll never get a down couch again by the way. And he said but when you look at that couch, why don't you like thank it for holding your family and having all these great memories. And you know what, it stopped bothering me as much and I will never get a down couch again.
Sarah Milken 24:58
I love that because we just moved on After 18 years, and my son, who would have all of his, you know, guy, high school friends come over, he goes, Mom, I'm really gonna miss that couch. Because it's like, I used to wipe my soy sauce fingers on it. You know, and I just thought to myself, like, that was really hard for us that whole like, even though we were moving to a great house, and this and that, that house, how it's housed so many memories. And my life coach actually said to me, she's like, Sarah, you need to write a letter, like thanking that house for every single thing that it gave you. It's very similar to what you're saying,
Bobbi Brown 25:35
yeah. Well, we moved out of a house that I raised my kids and also this year, it was an intense experience. Yeah, we're moving into a new clean house, where everything is not broken. You know, my husband is a developer, he does this for a living. So the last thing he wants to do is come home with me to complain about that's broken, that's broken. So you know, he literally fixed everything right before we sold the house, which was kind of ironic.
Sarah Milken 26:00
I know, my husband goes, even in this new house, he goes, if we ever sell this, the next person is lucky, because we've like micromanage the fuck out of this, like literally like, nothing, Squeaks nothing. I'm like, Yeah, but it's only been what, like seven months. And then soon, we're gonna be like, into all of it. So how long did you work with your friend? Who was the life coach?
Bobbi Brown 26:22
I don't know, it must have been about six or eight months, just on it off, you know, wasn't an every week thing. And so you
Sarah Milken 26:28
felt that he sort of gave you kind of like, accountability action steps, because obviously, you have an assistant and you can call your assistant and be like, Hi, can you get the sofa refilled, but there was sort of like a mental block to actually
Bobbi Brown 26:39
executing it. You know, my assistant at the time was not a home assistant. She was a work assistant. So no, I didn't do that. And, you know, I really, I'm not properly staffed up. But that's something that I, I have to deal with. Because I don't like
Sarah Milken 26:54
having a line. Now. I know the feeling well, you kind of my I know, you just kind of have to do certain things. Like when I have to do all the online returns to UPS. I'm like, Oh, my God,
Bobbi Brown 27:07
I know that I that I'm lucky I have that I bring in. I really think the truth is you're getting a scoop, I started Jones road. So I could literally drop off my returns. And because I can't fold the things back in a nice way. And unless they give you a receipt, I don't have the patience to go online and do the whole print out thing. Oh, so So yeah, I know that I
Sarah Milken 27:28
can't I just I just talked about in another episode how I traded my husband was getting a colonoscopy a few months after I did. And he like wanted my notes. So I was like, Okay, you do my 16 Return on my returns? I'll give you my notes. I mean, online returns, there's absolutely nothing else. Okay, let's talk about beauty for a second. Now, when you are obviously working with beautiful people who seemed perfect in terms of their aesthetics, like Did that ever affect you personally, because I know for midlife women, including myself, we live in this world of social media of utter perfection, or it appears that way. And then we start judging ourselves and doing that whole comparison thing. How did you stay out of that?
Bobbi Brown 28:14
Well, first of all, you know, it's again, it's like what you tell your mind. You know, when I was a young makeup artist, I moved to New York. And what does like a short, insecure Jewish girl do? Well, she's a makeup artist, and she goes to work. And everyone has one name, you know, Linda, Cindy, Christina, Naomi. And that was my day to day. And I remember doing a fashion show. When I was 30 years old, I was pregnant with my first kid. And it was a bathing suit fashion show. And I made up all the girls and they're standing in front of me in high heels, and bathing suits, we had made up their whole body and, and I'm like sitting there like, you know, pregnant and just feel like oh, and I looked up and I was like, Oh my God. And I realized that I can't compare myself to these human beings that I never saw people like this in my life, because I'm just gonna lose. Like, it's just you can't compare yourself. So you've got to be the best for yourself. I was happily married. I was pregnant, and I happen to be five foot tall. What are you gonna do?
Sarah Milken 29:21
I know, I kind of have been sort of talking about this concept of like, good enough. But like, what you're good enough is is different than someone else is good enough. Like I have friends who are willing to work to work out two or three hours a day and not eat carbs and not eat dairy. I'm not willing to do any of those things. Neither am I. So but they are. So it's sort of like figuring out what you're good enough is and like what you're willing to kind of like give up what work you mean. Everything like you said everything in life is work. Well What work are you willing to do? Like I don't mind working out. It's not my favorite thing in the world. But I'm not going to run 15 miles a day or Who? I am class? Right?
Bobbi Brown 30:03
Well, you know, I like exercising and makes me feel good. I get in and out of habits. And when I'm, you know, busy, I get out of habits and it doesn't ever work for me. I do so much better. That's why I can't wait to come back and get back into my routine. Where I have the same trainer twice a week. Yeah, I know exactly what I'm doing. And the other days, I'm gonna put in the exact time that I'm going to work out because in order for me to, you know, live my life, I have to do it. First thing if I don't do it first. I
Sarah Milken 30:31
know me too. When people say they work out at 4pm I'm like, 4pm I've lived nine days. I'm like, ready for a nap. I want to die. Like what are you talking about? And
Bobbi Brown 30:43
the unit? Yeah, but go for a walk then. Like if you're you know, if you're normally if that's your time you're exhausted, go for a walk.
Sarah Milken 30:49
Because I know everyone wants to know why you look the way you do. So your workout regimen is you workout twice a week, is it strength training is a Pilates, what's your deal?
Bobbi Brown 30:59
I do strength training twice a week, he is a strength and conditioning coach. So I'm carrying a lot of really heavy, you know, kettlebells around the gym, I'm pushing the sled, I'm doing all sorts of things working on balance. It's not just like, you know, killing myself to kill them. I
Sarah Milken 31:16
know, I do that too. And I say to the trainer, sometimes it's my husband's trainer. And I'm like, this is the geriatric workout. He's like, No, sir. You gotta know that like your balance, because he makes me carry the kettlebell around on one side. Well, and not like tipping over and I'm like, Oh, my God, when did I transition into like functional weight training so that I'm not the person who can't get out of a chair. But But now, now I know, but a younger person should start doing I know, that's what's amazing
Bobbi Brown 31:46
what they do, but they do. They do. It's just a it's a different kind of strength training. So I do that twice a week. And I walk, I would say, four days a week, you know, for an hour, hour and a half. And I pick up the I don't walk with anyone. I pick up the phone. I call people. You know, every once awhile I call someone I haven't talked to in the longest time and I'm like, good time, bad time to talk and great talks. Other times, you know, I have a friend that lives in Florida who I love. I'm like, Joanne, let's go meet and talk. So I've done that a couple times. And then she moves to California and that's just our doesn't work. I'm not walking at six o'clock in the morning.
Sarah Milken 32:26
I know now do you do you like to walk on the outside? Or do you walk on the treadmill? What's your deal?
Bobbi Brown 32:32
I like both. You know when it's cold, I do more treadmill but I just got the recently the peloton and I love it the peloton, too. I really like it because the coaches are
Sarah Milken 32:44
so good. Oh, so you actually I'm like one of those weird people where I love the tread. So I got it, but I don't do the classes. The classes are so good. I know I just like to listen to a podcast and like kind of zone out. I don't want to like focus, it's like school, then the treadmill.
Bobbi Brown 32:59
It's just you know what I always like to be pushed, I know I'm not someone that naturally pushes myself. So I like to be pushed.
Sarah Milken 33:07
I love that. Okay, so no Pilates, or, you know, structure,
Bobbi Brown 33:11
I need to be a better stretcher. And, you know, I have not fallen in love with a yoga class or instructor. So, you know, because of the pandemic, I stopped and, you know, all the all of the studios around me kind of changed hands or clothes. So, you know, I mean, truthfully, we're all kind of still coming out of the pandemic night. So it's like, okay, I could, I'm not going to do yoga on on my app. It's just not me.
Sarah Milken 33:41
I know. It's not me either. It's like, it just seems too too far removed and too much work for that. Now, an interesting thing I read about you is you went got health, your health certification from the integrative Institute of nutrition, which is a really big deal. Well,
Bobbi Brown 33:58
it was, you know, after I left the brand, and I had time on my hands, and my sister had done it. And I asked, you know, I asked her about it. And she told me, you know, she was transitioning her life from being a Pilates instructor and a massage therapists into a health coach. So I didn't know what I was going to do with it. I mean, I help coach people all the time and life coach people because I just do, but I really did it for me, because I've just been like in awe of how food makes all the difference in the way you look but also the way you feel. Yeah, and I do think you know, probably there's two reasons why I think, you know, I get compliments that I look good I'm not saying I look good, but you know No, use amazing is because I'm not as stressed like I'm not you know, when I was working in a corporate job, it was intense. And you weren't in control of it. Really? No, I was I worked for a corporation. Yeah. Anyone that you know has done that you work with a lot of intense things. Intense people and
Sarah Milken 35:01
you strike me as someone who wants to walk to the beat of their own drum. I do walk to the beat. Yeah. So being like in someone else's box must be like torture. No, I
Bobbi Brown 35:11
need to be the one that draws the box. Yes. So, you know, I bet so I look better because I'm less stressed. And I also I'm really conscious of what I put in my body. I am I don't just like, you know, I'm not Jennifer Fisher. I'm not. I'm not obsessive. I mean, she is.
Sarah Milken 35:30
So she's amazing that she can do that. Yeah,
Bobbi Brown 35:34
I can't, I can't. And, you know, she was on my podcast, and she was talking about her biscuits. And literally, she got off the podcast, made the biscuits and had them delivered to my house. I'm, like paleo, delicious. I'm like, Jennifer, you put these in a box. Every single person. Oh,
Sarah Milken 35:53
it's ridiculous. Like she had the flu. And she did my podcast and she's like, making like Cinco Demayo dinner for kids. And I'm like, yeah, don't you just want a nap? Lecture? Oh, how are you doing all this? So you the program and I n is nine months? Yeah. I and it's I entered integrative Institute. And I know how, like, is it nine months of how much like how much childhood I did. It's
Bobbi Brown 36:21
all like I didn't do in person. I don't even know if they do in person anymore. It was all literally, me and my iPad, that I would go into the sauna. Because it's the only I have an infrared sauna in my backyard. And I would go into the sauna. And I would listen to the different, you know, lessons of the day or the week because that was the only way that I could sit down and focus because I am least focused person and sometimes I get very distracted. Easily. Easily distracted D S Yeah. Total self diagnose. But yeah, yeah, totally. Yeah.
Sarah Milken 36:56
I think so many of us are now. So did you feel like that that helped you make changes in your life? Like, what were your biggest takeaways from that into your actual life?
Bobbi Brown 37:05
You know, I was always the person that was figuring out. Oh, let me try that. Oh, let me try that. Let me try that. Okay, well, why does Why do I feel this way? Why is this not working? And when you go through it, you know, every time there was another module, there was a module, like about being a vegan. I'm like, oh, that's the answer. I got to try it. One meal, and I said, this is not working for me. And then they do then the Paleo section comes then keto. And finally the end. It's like, intuitive eating. And I'm like, That's it. That's it. And it's about finding the best quality foods that you could find that are lifeforce. You know, it's like, if you had a Ferrari, you're not going to put regular gas in like you want the best fuel. So, you know, I go out to eat a lot. So I have to be a little careful. You know, I have chosen not to eat other people's french fries. Because I don't feel I don't feel good the next day,
Sarah Milken 38:06
right. So Jennifer Fisher changes the menu wherever she goes. Yeah, can you take it? Can you do all of that? I mean, or do you just kind of like, deal with what's there and just do the best you can?
Bobbi Brown 38:19
I you know what, I will order certain things. You know, I'll ask for dressing on the side. All right, so I'm not, you know, but look, I'm sorry, if there's a chop salad. And you know, there it's like, it's you know, carrots, celery, lettuce, cheese. Let's say it's blue cheese bacon. I'm gonna say okay, can you leave out the blue cheese, but I don't need dressing but leave the bacon. Right? That's exactly me. Right? So I make choices because honestly, whether I know not every health person thinks this, but I do think that we have a certain amount of calories that we're allowed to spend. And you know what? I don't need the dressing. And I don't like blue cheese. You know, maybe if it was goat cheese, I would have left let it in. But uh, you know, and then I've been learning to eat slower. And you know, when you eat slower than I don't, I don't my stomach doesn't hurt because, you know, I've always dealt with some digestive issues. And yeah, because I was over eating like raw salads.
Sarah Milken 39:17
So I heard you say you hate salads. I kind of hate salads too. I feel like I don't salad. I don't hate them. Or you don't ya know, or that you don't that you're not full. No, I'm
Bobbi Brown 39:27
I'm not full one.
Sarah Milken 39:28
That's that's that's my issue is I feel like I eat a salad and then I want to eat a burger. It's like then I've had two lunches, so I have to be really mindful about what's in that salad to make me fall.
Bobbi Brown 39:40
Right so I eat I found this great bread. What is my bread called again? Yeah, by sammies, do you know Sam is bakery. Oh, so this grape bread. It is a pita and it's like got like 15 grams of fiber and a whole pita. So you know I split it in half I toasted it's gluten free, and it's not grain free. It's gluten free. But I chose that. And today I put some Italian tuna, you know that it's in the glass jar. Yeah, I put some tomato on it. Sometimes I throw papers on it. And I gotta tell you, it was delicious. I was full for hours because I had protein, fiber and fat. Totally, you know. So, you know, salads are a lot of fiber, but they're also like fibrous vegetables. So to eat enough of it, I'm gonna have a bad
Sarah Milken 40:27
No, I know. That's how I feel. And I feel like the bread thing if I don't eat the pita, and I'm starving, right? Yeah, and then I'm eating 19 Other things fill in that gap. If I just eaten the half the pizza would have been done just like yeah, exactly. Yeah. And it's kind of like figuring out what like what you're good enough is and like, I know you like to have a drink. I like dessert.
Bobbi Brown 40:48
Yeah, I'd much rather I don't eat dessert anymore.
Sarah Milken 40:51
I love dessert person. I don't drink at all. Wow. So for me my calories. It's like I would rather have the dessert than have the alcohol. We all have our own little like, you know our little like vise right now. Yeah, okay, so I need to ask you some questions that guests that listeners had. So if you had like a five step routine to midlife skin, what would it be? It
Bobbi Brown 41:15
would be redefine your food number one, and that your lifestyle your lifestyle that is not what people want to hear. But if you're not drinking enough water and eating enough healthy oils, your skin's not gonna look good. So that's number one because I see a lot of these really skinny women that don't eat a lot. They don't look so good. They look very very like dry. So that's number one. Number two is fine skincare products that instantly make you look better. Okay? Which is why the miracle balm has been a hit our miracle cream in the winter is like I can't live without can't
Sarah Milken 41:55
wait for that. Yeah, no, no, but I'm saying once the humidity dies down here I'm going to be like slathering that
Bobbi Brown 42:03
yeah no it honestly it makes a big difference you know or like the oil stick like oh my god I have mine. I mean I literally just hit the microphone like this and this the Lipstadt cool Ross Yeah, so you know I like moisture. For me it works like my skin dry. So your skincare is second? Then your makeup. So you don't want makeup that like ages you and makes you look older and so much makeup on the market when you put it on. It just kind of like intensifies the texture of your skin even though you don't see it when you wash your face when you put the makeup on. So choose formulas that
Sarah Milken 42:40
are hide like like what the foundation right like like what the foundation loves you that name
Bobbi Brown 42:48
and honestly try what the foundation without a moisturizer because you might not need it. Like I don't think I don't think you do because I put it on without a moisturizer right? Yeah, me too. And the winter time I put a moisturizer on top of it sometimes, if I put it on and Sam today's a little bit of a dehydrated day, you know, as far as blushes, like if you don't, if you have really dry skin, maybe use a cream blush. So the right formula, and then like let's not forget about definition. When we get older, we lose definition. So for me, it's filling in my brows, it's lining my it's lining my eyes, it's really black mascara. And then since I have a little bit of a hooded lid, I also take like a medium shadow, I use smoky gray, and I just kind of put it on my lid. I don't have it on today and kind of smudge it. And it just helps open up my eyes.
Sarah Milken 43:42
What about sunscreen? What's your philosophy on that over under spray on?
Bobbi Brown 43:48
You know, I put it on first. I mean, I've been working on a sunscreen unsuccessfully.
Sarah Milken 43:55
Really because hey, you do as I say, well, um, it's
Bobbi Brown 43:57
not there yet. You know? I mean, it's it's not there yet. I'm going to get there because it's a clean sunscreen and I don't I don't like a pasty. I don't like it thick and gooey. Because I really want a sunscreen that is going to work under makeup.
Sarah Milken 44:16
I tried to spray on one I felt like it burnt my eyes. Yes, I tried to put it like over my makeup. Another listener wanted to know how you lighten dark circles without it looking like a desert like a crack
Bobbi Brown 44:30
desert. Well, number one, I use the pencils and I love the
Sarah Milken 44:36
pencil it's like an eraser. I literally I'm like maybe she should just make this a foundation because I literally Yeah.
Bobbi Brown 44:44
And I use the eye cream honestly you put like the teeniest among the eye cream on your eyes. And if you look like a desert, you're dehydrated. So you know this works really well with the pencils.
Sarah Milken 44:57
A lot of women at this age are like I can't stop Something new. I don't know what I'm doing, it's not going to be perfect. Like, what are your thoughts on kind of figuring it out learning on the go? Like, how have you been okay with that?
Bobbi Brown 45:12
Well, first of all, don't ever say can't, like,
Sarah Milken 45:15
I know. But self limiting beliefs are brutal. They're like, Oh, I can't do this unless it's perfect. Or what if the external peanut gallery is, you know, mocking me? Or what if it's not super successful? Like, What's your philosophy on kind of just being scared and doing it anyway?
Bobbi Brown 45:31
Well, I don't know. It's being fearless. You know, it's like, okay, well, that didn't work. Let me try something else. And tread slowly. You know, tread slowly. And I think that you know, and just do it. Like, let's just say you don't know what you want to do. But you know, you want your own business? Like, what is what do you have, that you can offer people to make the best granola? Are you? Can you clean and organized? Can you drive someone's kids? Like, you know, could you make sauces and jars? Like, what is your superpower? Like, what's your superpower? You know, just think about and say, Wow, I bet people love it. What you know, my friends love it when I do this. Right? You know, my sister is like, the most amazing food prep person you have ever seen when she saw that on her Instagram every Sunday. And I'm always telling her, Linda, this could be your thing. I would if you live near Oh, I would
Sarah Milken 46:28
pay a bribe million dollars for that. And I also read that you have this notion, not a notion, but this philosophy that if you don't know how to do something that doesn't stop you from doing it, you just find someone who knows how to do that. And you do what your wheelhouse is,
Bobbi Brown 46:44
right? 100% And don't feel bad about it. Right? That's the thing. It's like, you know, look, could I learn finance? I don't know. But I know I'm not. I'm not interested. Right. So you know, we just hired an amazing CFO who tells me what's happening and how things are doing.
Sarah Milken 47:02
It just gives you the Cliff Notes. You got it? Yeah, yeah. So that's how I feel to like with this whole podcast, like all the technology, shoot me, if I was waiting to figure out how to do Instagram and all this zoom, I would still be waiting. Right? So it's like, okay, well, I like to write I like to talk to people. I like to ask questions, but I don't want to do any of the technology. Shit. I don't want to do slack. I don't know how to do any of that.
Bobbi Brown 47:26
Right? Yeah, that's just too hard for me. Yeah. And so you know, I have a first assistant and now I have a second assistant. And honestly, they're my second assistant. She's in the background going like this. She's or she's organizing my contacts, my Dropbox photos, like all these things that I
Sarah Milken 47:44
can maybe she'll do meal prep for you, Bobby. Well, she's
Bobbi Brown 47:48
actually an organic farmer. Ah, yeah, she's turned her parents home. She's like, gosh, yeah.
Sarah Milken 47:56
Okay, wait, before I know you, you're on a time crunch. But I do want to talk to you for a second about, like menopause. And you obviously, you're on the other side of it. What was it like for you? And how did you get through it? What was your biggest piece of advice?
Bobbi Brown 48:12
Well, I had my third baby at 41. Okay, so, you know, I had I had the baby who stole my baby at 24. And then around 4746 47, you know, things started to like, what is going on, you know, things I wasn't sleeping as well. I was like, you know, whatever I was. And I went and had my, my blood work. And I've been on thyroid medicine for forever. So I have my hormones checked. And you know what my hormones were, were definitely off. And the doctor suggested bioidentical hormones. And I said, you know, I looked at the pros and cons. And I said, Let's do this. I immediately felt better. I immediately felt better. I've, I've been on and off from a couple of times, and I'll be on him forever. So that helped a lot. And then, you know, it's just like, look, it's weird. I remember when I turned 50 I was like, What the hell 50? Like, That's just insane. And I look back now and it's like, damn, I looked good. I felt good. And now I'm 65. So when I turned when I turned 60, I was like, Oh, my God, like, What the fuck? And things happen. But you know what, I have a vision of myself at 80 and 85 and even 90, and you know, maybe I'll have white hair by then. But that who knows. I know that I want to be you know, hanging with my grandchildren, whether it's taking them, you know, to the to the store, taking them to Paris, like I want to be healthy and vibrant enough. I want to get up and down my chair. And I want to you know, feel good in my body. So, and I don't want to look like a science project. Yeah, I'm okay to look like an older woman, but a healthy one. I don't need people to tell me at some point. I still like hearing that I look young for my age, but I want, I think I look healthy. And I think that's why people think I look young for my image, right?
Sarah Milken 50:16
No, I appreciate that. And how did you? How did menopause and the husband your husband workout? Like? Did you feel like there were changes in your relationship? Did you feel like you needed like a regroup? No, I
Bobbi Brown 50:29
mean, I look, this September will be 34 years. Wow. And I'm not going to be here to tell you guys that. Oh, my God, all you have to do is this and it's perfect. No, it's work. And there's times where it's like, so annoying. So aggravating, like I know, even when I'm like, so pissed off. So frustrated, I know, I'm not going to divorce them. You know, I know. I mean, it's like, I want to be with Him forever. And you know what? I've had to learn how not, it's not that I can change him because I can't but how I change myself, like how I make this work better for me, because this is who he is. He's not changing. And I'm not changing. But at least let me change my perception of it. How I deal with what is making me aggravated, you know, and, and choose my battles wisely, and learn how to communicate like, right. It's like, in the midst of being aggravated, you say things you might not mean, but maybe later, so hold it, if you can. Yeah. delayed response. Yeah, delayed response until you're ready. No, I
Sarah Milken 51:38
love that. Because it's definitely I mean, things change. And like, you've you're like, you moved, I moved, everybody was stressed. Everybody's like hanging by a thread. Jake's applying to colleges. And I'm like, I'm in this marriage. I adore him. But like when he tells me just to not be anxious, I'm like, Dude, you might be able to compartmentalize all of your anxiety, but I can't do it the same way you can. And we've talked a lot is the exact
Bobbi Brown 52:05
same thing. It's the same thing. My husband says to me, it's your anxiety. Yeah. Well, if you would just answer me and tell me this. I won't be anxious. But he does everything last minute. So you know, I don't know. Maybe I'll, I'll try microdosing. I hear that. Oh, I know. I
Sarah Milken 52:23
haven't tried that. But I did interview Dr. Ellen Vora who speaks highly of it. Everyone's talking about it. I just I haven't gotten there yet. We interview someone on it. Wait, who did you just interview that talked about it? It would probably be me because I'm obsessed with it. No, that's I'm saying you just interviewed someone who talked about it. Oh my God now? Oh, yeah,
Bobbi Brown 52:42
it was. Yeah. Gabby Reese. Yeah. be raised. Yeah.
Sarah Milken 52:47
I love that interview. By the way. She's amazing. Yeah, I did this. We're so good.
Bobbi Brown 52:52
Well, I didn't have her sore. So I've been given different people's names. And you know, because it's not legal. I know. It's not legal. So among, you know, I know marijuana is legal. But I you know, it doesn't work for me. Marijuana does not work for me.
Sarah Milken 53:08
I'll connect you and Ellen Vora because she has. Yeah, she has a set of resources. She's in New York. She's a psychiatrist, but she sort of is called a holistic psychiatrist. So she's really I've been looking
Bobbi Brown 53:19
for a whole erotic cycle. Yes. She's amazing. Cool,
Sarah Milken 53:23
amazing. Amazing. So I'll connect you guys on that. Okay, so we talked about healthy eating. We talked about exercise. Okay, let's talk about the wrinkle situation. Why don't you do Botox or filler?
Bobbi Brown 53:34
I have a soft nickel. No, I have done Botox twice when I was in my 40s because it was very popular. And both times I hated it. You know, and I went to really good people, the best people you can go to one time I just like, I just couldn't move anything. And I was like, a big forehead. Time. I had an I drew. No. I had a major I drew which I didn't, you know, it was like an, you know, it's a thing that I didn't tell my husband at the time. He thought I was having a stroke. He was so worried about God. BAVO Yeah. And you know what? I was like, okay, so I have lines. Okay. And you know what, so I know I have a thin face. I'm not going to shoot stuff because I could see it in people's faces. Yeah. You know, especially on HD. It's like, Oh, my God, I know. I see it all. And I could tell when an actress does a little bit like a little bit. I do
Sarah Milken 54:32
and I do filler once a year with Jason diamond.
Bobbi Brown 54:36
And where do you fill here? We'll know where and your face here. But I you know, I see people that have
Sarah Milken 54:43
Yeah, but Jason diamond doesn't do that because my daughter my 15 year old was like, Mom, if you ever come home and look like one of those moms, I can't ever talk to you again. So I had the filler done and I didn't tell anyone in my family and every one of my family is like a spy like they know because everything, nobody said work. And it wasn't until the credit card bill was like, Oh, he went to Jason, about fairness. But he honestly I have to tell you is the only person that I will allow to do that. I will let it all fall out before I go to
Bobbi Brown 55:19
someone else. Yeah, you know, it's a slippery slope and my friends don't do it. So interesting. You know, so kind of comes like if I had friends are always doing it. You know, most of my friends don't and we get together and like, you know, we look like 60 something year old people. And you know what? We are 60 something year old people. I
Sarah Milken 55:40
know. I don't I don't have this need to age backwards. It's more just kind of like, if I can fill a crack whatnot.
Bobbi Brown 55:47
Yeah, cuz it's like weeding in the backyard. Where do you stop?
Sarah Milken 55:51
I don't know. Well, that's why I only go once a year for the filler and I do Botox twice a year. So, I mean, I just I try to like just live somewhere in the middle. Yeah, you know, otherwise, I could go absolutely bonkers on it. Okay. A couple of things. You were a glucose monitor and an aura
Bobbi Brown 56:09
ring? Yeah, I don't wear a glucose monitor. I tried it for two weeks. Oh, you did? Okay. And it was fine.
Sarah Milken 56:16
What's the deal? Like? Obviously, you don't have to, but like, Were you just like trying to figure out like where you were at? It kind of seems like a big topic right now.
Bobbi Brown 56:25
Well, it's certainly it's information. I love the information. So the ordering tells me how I sleep. It tells me how many steps I get. I don't really understand the other data. But that's why I wear it and the you know, I I know that if you want to stay you know. Feeling good. You've got to make sure you don't eat things that will spike your blood sugar.
Sarah Milken 56:49
That's all so what did you find out in your two weeks? I haven't done it yet.
Bobbi Brown 56:53
That my my didn't have an issue with it. My eating was fine. Wow. Yeah, you will you will find out because you are a sugar eater.
Sarah Milken 57:02
I know. I know. Trust me. It's it's a thing. It's, it's definitely a thing. So like, what would you eat for breakfast?
Bobbi Brown 57:09
I feel my best when I have two eggs. Like I'll just scramble up some eggs. I'll have some blueberries with it. And I'm trying not to eat toast in the morning if I want if I want bread for lunch. So you know, I don't want to eat three meals with bread. So you know scrambled eggs. Sometimes I'll put some goat cheese in it sometimes. You know, occasionally I'll even put a piece of you know organic other cheese. I'm not afraid of dairy. I don't overdo it. But I'm not. You know, I'm not afraid of it. So that really works the best for me. Smoothies. I do sometimes and I'm exhausted but they do not fill me up. Me too. I eat a smoothie like everyone in my house drink smoothies, but I'm like starving after Yeah, yeah, you know what everyone's different. And you know, I'll have a half a grapefruit and two eggs. Sometimes I'll have berries and two eggs. You know, that works. I do plain yogurt. A lot. I don't do granola because I don't I too sweet for me. But
Sarah Milken 58:04
do you do dairy yogurt? Or you do like the Kulina kind of No, I
Bobbi Brown 58:08
didn't dairy yogurt because I want the protein. The coconut yogurt. Like it's so high in fat and no protein. I'm like, Yeah, you know, why don't I just go eat some nuts. Like, I
haven't tried this yet. But a lot of people are putting protein powder in the dairy yogurt. You know, I'm so sick of all the bells and whistles and all the things I'm like,
I just want normal, simple, real food. I want food that grows. I want it like you know, like just
Sarah Milken 58:36
I totally get that. I totally get that. Yeah, it's like at a certain point. It's like, where do you draw that line? Right? listeners are gonna hate me if we don't talk for a second about your makeup.
Bobbi Brown 58:47
So midlife women take me through like the quick steps of the products that you're like, Okay, by these five products? Well, certainly because you're telling them I'm telling them to write for Jones road, you need a miracle balm. And you can go online and figure out what color you need a face pencil and go out online and take the quiz. You also need a black mascara. So that's three you also the next one I would say would either be the foundation or the blush stick is really good because a blush tick you could put on your cheek and your lips. And for me I'm all about a brown pencil brown pencil you could line your eyes with you could use it in your eyebrows if you're dark and just make up ever expire, Bobby. Sure it expires. I mean this is a clean brand so it's good for about two years. Okay, so
Sarah Milken 59:36
those things that have been in my drawer for five plus years old, the bosses are they like how do they expire? Well, if
Bobbi Brown 59:44
they smell bad, get rid of them. And if not, then it's fine. Fine. Yeah, man.
Sarah Milken 59:50
Yeah, man. For sure. Yeah. Now what about last question? What about cleaning makeup brushes? What's your philosophy on that and
Bobbi Brown 59:57
what do we use? I like to clean makeup Have brushes with baby shampoo. Okay, because I just love the way it smells. So you know your baby's on the mind Bob Iger and Id be soon in there. Well, you know, I UVC now i know i love the baby smell too. I used to use the Dr. Bonner soap for my brushes, but it's a little pepper mini for, you know, the eye brushes. But you know a little bit of the gentle baby shampoo works really well.
Sarah Milken 1:00:24
And do you like soak it in? Do you rub it in like
Bobbi Brown 1:00:27
I don't, I don't soak it in because then the glue on the ferals might come out. Okay, so I washed it like I'll put it in, you know, a little soap in my hand. And I'll put the brush, you know a little bit of water and I'll kind of swirl it around and then I'll put the brush hair under the water. Squeeze the excess out, mate, you know, don't use a lot of the baby soap. It'll be hard to get out. And then you don't dry it out a towel. you dry it hanging off the counter so it doesn't get melted away.
Sarah Milken 1:00:58
Do you do that thing where you twist it in between your hands and then it flicks off the water. Like this. You get what you get all the water
Bobbi Brown 1:01:06
out first. Yeah. And you put the brushes back to you know, you don't want them crazy, you know, put them back to where they go.
Sarah Milken 1:01:13
And how often should we be doing it?
Bobbi Brown 1:01:16
Oh, I mean, it depends how abusive you are with your brushes. Some people you know are gentle with them. But I would say minimum four times a year. You know some people you know if they're bigger makeup people they might need to do a monthly.
Sarah Milken 1:01:30
Yeah, like a like a brush detox. Yeah, yeah. Okay, next time we're gonna talk about how you became a tick tock sensation. It's six. That's it.
Bobbi Brown 1:01:39
65 sorry, it was 65 Oh, no, you're right. You're 60
Sarah Milken 1:01:44
right. See? Did
Bobbi Brown 1:01:44
you turn 65? Right. Yeah.
Sarah Milken 1:01:47
You became like a tick tock sensation, which is amazing. Yeah. And on my bucket list. I'm so excited. You've been here. I've loved talking to you. I know everyone's gonna love listening to this because it's sort of like a lot of us know your Estee Lauder amazing entrepreneurial story but not everyone knows like Bobby every day Bobby midlife Bobby Bobby as a mom and that's really what I want to bring to listeners. So I am so appreciate that. Where can we find you if we want to find you
Bobbi Brown 1:02:17
just Bobby brown.com or Jones road beauty or the George or 18 label which is our photo studio on Instagram. And then you know at tick tock it's just Bobby Brown yep.
Sarah Milken 1:02:31
Okay Bobby Brown serial entrepreneurs, successful businesswoman, lifestyle influencer health expert makeup guru women's confidence builder. Thank you for saying yes. Thank you for chatting all things your life happy to call you a new friend, and Fab guest of the flexible neurotic podcast.
Bobbi Brown 1:02:50
Thank you. Thanks, Mike. It was really fun. Take care.
Sarah Milken 1:02:53
Oh my god. Thank you. Bye bye.
Hey babes, it's me again. I listen to this episode with the founder of Bobbi Brown cosmetics and more recently Jones or a beauty Bobby Brown herself. And I wanted to summarize a golden nuggets for you to have actionable items to start using today. I know that when I listen to a long episode, I'm like, oh my god, I fucking love that. And now I can't even remember the specifics. This is why I go back and do a golden nugget summary. In this episode we discuss the essential makeup tips for midlife women, Bobby's philosophies on nutrition and exercise for secrets to a healthy midlife marriage and aging and midlife and we touch on empty nest which hits so many of us Golden Nugget number one, the best part of getting older. For Bobby The best part of getting older is the knowledge it's the experience. She explains that the experience she's gained through growing older and finding her passions in life has given her the knowledge that she values. When Bobby has conversations with younger women in her office or just in her life she describes her advice is very sage, because she says she's been there she's done it Barbie shares that when we take a problem and turn it into a quote, big deal, that's when it becomes difficult. She says that everything is solvable. We have to make things simpler in order for them to work for us. She's learned how to take her past experiences and use them towards finding solutions in her later years. And as she focuses on her future. I don't even understand how this woman is 65 years old. She looks amazing. Golden Nugget number two, a good life is filled with hard work peeps. I say this all the time on my podcast and my Instagram. Anything worth doing is hard work parenting starting a business being a daughter being a wife anything. Bobby strongly agrees and believes that life as a whole is hard work. She goes into detail about being a mother, a wife, a friend and a business owner. It's all hard work, but it's good work. She explains that it's all about what you're willing to do in your life to enhance it and get the things you desire. Yes, it sometimes can be exhausting, and there are just so many things in midlife, but it's worth it hard work is worth it. Golden Nugget number three attitude adjustment Bobby shares that when she faces an issue that's upsetting or difficult. She tries to change her attitude while thinking about it. She says, You can't always control your situation. But you can control your attitude. Bobby explains that if you sit with the problem too long, then it can start to consume you. And it doesn't help you find a solution and it doesn't help your mental health. It's all about the mindset. Golden Nugget number four, stop comparing yourself to others. Throughout her career, Bobby has been surrounded by women such as models, and you know, movie celebrity superstars who are the stereotypical examples of what society deems as quote, beautiful or perfect being in the situation can sometimes lead to self judgment. Bobbie explains that she realized long ago that she can't compare herself to other people, especially to models or social media, because it's just going to make you feel worse. comparing yourself to other people is a fight you're just going to lose. Bobby has learned that all she has to do is be the best version of herself for herself. Not for the external peanut gallery. She says you can either look in the mirror and say to yourself, Wow, I look cool today. Or okay, I look terrible today. And when you find yourself saying I look terrible today. Just walk away from the mirror. Bobby reassures us by explaining you are your own type of beautiful stop trying to be someone else's Golden Nugget number five, learn as you go. Bobby understands that learning as you go, like I've talked about in this podcast so many times, with anything in life can be intimidating at first, but it doesn't have to be. She explains that if you're feeling the midlife he is that you have to ask yourself What do I like? And what do I want? If you're interested in starting a business than Bobby explains that you have to find what you stand out from the crowded? Are you good at cooking? Are you good at exercising? Are you good at scrapbooking? She says to ask yourself, what do I have? Or what can I do that I can offer people Bobby describes it as your superpower. It's important to remember that something big isn't going to happen right away. You have to tread slowly and stay on course not every day is going to be easy, but you have to stick with it. Bobby says that if you're worried remember that in midlife, it's quote our scripts to write Golden Nugget number six how to create healthy midlife marriage energy Bobby shares it after 34 years of marriage and counting. Communication is key. She explains it sometimes when you're having an argument with your spouse that you might say something you don't mean in the midst of being aggravated, Bobby recommends it instead of letting the heat of the moment get the best of you. You should have a delayed response. I agree with that. I've been working on that. And you should save the delayed response until you're ready to share what you actually want to say and how you really feel she explains it marriage is imperfect. And like everything else, it's hard work Golden Nugget number seven exercise because he feels good for you look people it's important to exercise especially in midlife but remember to do it for yourself not because other people are thinner other people are more fit or whatever you're doing it for you and for your health. Sometimes we feel pressured to exercise because the peanut gallery saying we have to do this to look a certain way. But that should not be your driving reason for why you are exercising. Bobby believes that you should be exercising because it makes you feel good. Not just because you want to look good and other people think you should be doing it. Bobby thinks it's also important to find a workout and a routine that's enjoyable for you. One way she does this is by going on long walks and calling her friends during the exercise. It's kind of a cute idea. So she said she would call her friends in New York or call her friends in LA sometimes the time change would not be 100% but what a great way to connect with your friends and multitask this way she's distracted by the actual exercise and it makes it more fun killing two birds with one stone. Okay guys, the gold is dripping off these nuggets grab it use it there are three things you can do well there actually is like a million things but first subscribe to the fucking podcast. If you're just listening to the podcast like episode by episode, but you're not fully committed. Then I sort of like don't get credit for it as having a full subscriber. So just go ahead and subscribe and then when my episodes come out they just pop up into your podcast library second, share it with some midlife bitches who might like midlife shit. And third write an apple review. writing reviews is so fucking annoying. Oh my god. Oh my god, oh my God. And the technology of it is annoying too. But that little extra step of saying, I love this podcast. This means the world to me or whatever it is helps me grow as a new podcast. I love you guys. I love this community. If you DM me, I'm always gonna DM you back. I'm the only person on my Instagram and of course follow my instagram at the flexible neurotic. Love you talk to you