EPISODE 31: Nipple Covers, Teen Sex Talks, & Mom Culture

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So we're a bit of a trailblazers, and that was with the new Stepford means it's like we are reinventing what a perfect wife and the bottom line is. There's no such thing. We're all just it's all it should show and we're just doing the best that we can.

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Hey, peeps, welcome to the flexible neurotic podcast. I'm your host, Dr. Sarah Milken. Yeah, you heard that right. I'm a real PhD doctor. Long, long ago, like last fucking year. I was sitting in the midlife funk wondering, was this it for me? That day, I realized I needed to get off my ass and start my midlife remix. I dusted off my PhD, wipe the menopause, sweat off my forehead, grabbed my golden shit shovel and started digging deep to all my midlife pitches. It's not just luck, coffee and hormones that get you through your midlife remix. It's action steps. Let's do this. Hi, good peeps. This is the next episode of The flexible neurotic Podcast. I'm Dr. Sarah Milken, the flexible neurotic. Today I have such a fun guest. She is an Instagram phenomenon in internet sensation Viral Video Creator guests of the today's show blogger and founder of wink and influencer Management Agency for brands. This funny woman is known for spoofs on raising teenagers living with spouses dealing with other moms and mom culture. Her Instagram and blog are called the new Stepford. Her messages that we must revise the narrative on parenting and wifing and finding the humor in all of it. Her name is Whitney Cicero. Whitney is teaching us how to laugh and sometimes cry at the intricacies and hidden secrets of parenting marriage and being a woman in today's world. She's hysterical, irreverent, and this is going to be fucking fun. Hi, Whitney. Hi, Sarah. Great. Oh my god. How are you? We've already talked about filler. Before we started, we talked about sweating, menopausal sweating. The air conditioning does not seem to be pumping hard enough in this room that I'm in right now. We talked about good lighting. So who are we? Here we are. I'm excited. You're here.

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Thank you. Thank you for having me and inviting me. You provide

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a lot of laughs for me. I have to tell you. I mean, it's just, it's just fucking funny. So in this episode, I want to dig deep with you with our golden shit shovels. You have a golden shovel right, sir. In an edgy conversation that will help normalize and inspire our midlife self reinvention dirties what I'm calling the midlife freemax. We're going to talk about how Whitney is rewriting the parenting and wiping narrative with humor and self deprecation. Through her humor, we can all begin to feel normal in our feelings about a being a woman, a mom, a wife, any of those things. She says that in all of her humor, she is saying alcohol sarcasm and humor are necessary to deflect our parenting insecurity. What do you think about that? Whitney?

3:13

I think I wrote that today.

3:15

Yeah, that's what I read into you.

3:17

Yeah. Like, yeah, no, the new Stepford. Someone asked me this a while ago, sick, I don't get your name. Are you saying you're perfect? I'm like, Oh, God, no, oh, God, no, like, there is no more perfect. We grew up with parents that had just started getting divorced. Like, that's that generation that we grew up in. There was no that we were constantly redefining what the definition of a perfect wife or a perfect mother was. And I think there were in the 50s and 60s, you kind of had what that was supposed to be, you're supposed to greet your husband with a scotch and a nice skirt and have your hair blown out. We can't do that anymore. We're working where that you know, the penny generation of having elderly parents that we care for and teens at the same time, like, we are a generation of women that are coming across with obstacles and challenges that we don't have people ahead of us that have have done that path before and showed us what to do. So we're a bit of a trailblazers, and that was what the new step for means. It's like we are reinventing, reinventing what a perfect wife and the bottom line is. There's no such thing. We're all just it's all a shit show. And we're just doing the best that we can.

4:23

You're not a perfect mom to Whitney. No, I mean, you don't have all your kids photo albums made from zero to 17. Do you don't have Pinterest boards for them?

4:33

First of all, I can't even spell Pinterest. I was freaking using self out of me.

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You need a Pinterest wife. That's what we need.

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And when like, Can chronicle my children's upbringing be like I think I was president. I don't even know. Yeah, you might

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organize your shit Marie Kondo. Your drawers? I mean, I need that too.

4:56

Well, you know, it's easier. I'll come to your house because You need an extra set of eyes. Sarah, have you actually worn this?

5:02

I agree with you. I just posted on Instagram. It's like, I put on a pair of underwear the other day, I go out for meetings. And I'm like, why is my underwear falling down? And I've realized it's the same pair of underwear that keeps getting put on the top of the pile. And I keep putting it on. It has three inches of extra lace and I'm tucking it into my waistband to keep my underwear up. And then I just said, You know what, like, I'm not gonna throw this back in the laundry basket. This is going in the fucking trash can right now. It was so liberating.

5:36

Yeah, good for you. Can I have an underwear story? Can

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I show? Yes, share it.

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So I've had the same, probably eight pairs of underwear that I bought at Costco when we had our Costco membership when my son was in diapers. Okay. That's 15 years ago, I had washed

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like delicate wash and a special mesh bag. They're not attractive. They're like, that's what I was gonna ask you. Are they fucking Teflon and hideous? What are they?

6:05

They're pretty much prison underwear. Oh, good. Yeah. And finally, I said to my husband, I think it's time for new underwear. And yes, yes. Think so. Like, no offense. You've been wearing those for 13 years.

6:19

Yeah, but it doesn't matter for you at night because you probably because you're a Stepford wife. You probably take your underwear off. You probably shower prepare yourself for your husband when he gets home. Right. And you're in like a silk robe.

6:30

Oh, yeah. Everything's Vaxxed waxed. primed? Totally. Without a bottle of wine. I'm a very boring lay. Like, I think that is part of the reason I like to drink soda. Yeah, let's get freaky. But if not, I'm like, do you know

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what's so funny? I have a friend shall remain unnamed. And she really is like a Stepford wife. She's the opposite of me. I'm like a Stepford bloggie in every possible way, I don't cog. I don't clean like I just don't do anything of that. Anything domestic. Other than like, being a good mom, whatever that means. A helicopter mom or whatever. You want to call me. Micro fucking manager. Like I've failed every Pinterest Mom Test known demand, right? But this friend of mine is like, yeah, when my husband comes home from work, I have a full meal prepared. And I actually take a bath every night to make sure that I'm like fresh for him. I was like, in a state of shock for two years after she told me that and every time I saw her, I couldn't even like, look at her the same. I was like, why? And I told my husband, he's like, What did I do wrong? I'm like, yeah, you definitely married wrong. So is she on heroin? No, she's just like, perfect. And I'm like, wow, that's like really scary. And she kept with that. She like runs every day. cog she like, she brought you I would our kids were babies. Like she would have like, the spring toys come in, like was spring cleaning and then rotate the toys out. I was like, my kids are lucky if there are even like toys in this room.

8:06

And you get a Slim Jim and a cheese stick. There you go.

8:10

It's absolutely like just amazing.

So for listeners who potentially could not know what the new Stepford or even what The Stepford means. It's just basically like, what?

8:30

Well, it was a movie based in the 70s. It was based on a book, right? Yes. The idea was that it was a town. I believe it was Connecticut. And the women were just perfect to your like, they dressed perfectly. They were super hot. They played tennis, and you know, sex beans nymphomaniacs. And at the end, you realize that what's been happening is the men have been killing off their wives and replacing them with robots. Hmm. And that's kind of like the big hook. Oh, it's people Soylent Green moment where you're like, oh, shit, that's happening. That was the movie and I realized that not everyone in this generation probably seen that or no even knows the reference because right. Really old. I know. I was just reading a book about the movie and it was a funny little anecdote where the directors wife wanted to be in it, but she wasn't spelt. So originally the play as the movie was supposed to have everybody like in bikinis and hot hot outfits, but because of her finger, they dressed everybody in a high necked, floral, you know, women on the prairie look with the big got it got it. I file I learned

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probably like having affairs with their tennis instructors or whatever, but nobody knows about it. For sure. Right now with the new Stepford who's your demographic.

9:54

It's women. Mostly, I have about an 8% male following but you know, That's okay. Those

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are just guys that want to look at you maybe doing your laundry doing teen spoofs.

10:05

God bless them. They're bigger and they're the daddy bloggers. I'm friends with a lot of dad and buried and Clint Edwards not. No idea daddy blog. God, daddy, there is a really nice strong life of dad. Simon Hall. And then there's a great dad, Instagram.

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So if you want to say what the new Stepford and your mission is, with this platform, I mean, you have how many followers on Facebook? It's like crazy Bill 100,000. Just 100,000 I think I have four. Okay. I don't even know how to get on Facebook. And you have a million videos that have gone viral, which is insane. And we're going to talk about those videos, but your mission is to do what for women? Mostly?

10:58

That's a great question, sir. And I the thing that makes my heart sore and my nipples hard is when someone deems me nipple covers all the time because I can't wear bras. Yeah, see, that's funny. Cuz Karolina and I talked about nipple covers. A few episodes ago, they

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were like key to your life. And if you're listening to this, you need to invest in nipple covers. It doesn't matter if they're like the paper stick on ones or the the reusable silicone ones. They're like a necessary item. Wait, let's go back to your mission. And then we're going

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to come back to nipple covers because that's really important. So like I said, getting my nipples hard is when someone DMS me and goes, Oh, my God, I'm not alone. Thank you so much for saying that. I thought that was the only one that felt that way. That is the entire essence of what we're doing on the new steppers. Like, No, you're not alone. Yes, these are normal feelings. Yeah. Yes. Your kids can be shit shows and you can still be a great parent and a great one

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and you can still love them.

11:56

Oh 100% They're a little assholes, and you love them. And I think that we did grow up in this area of you know, we grew up on that reading the back of cereal boxes and sitcoms were where moms were grading raising kids for great and that's not the reality. It's hard.

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I know, believe me, I curse it my kids, but like in, they know, I mean, and I'm like, God, man, you're being really like, bitchy, what's going on with you? And I know some friends wouldn't do that. But it's sort of part of my I know you're making a face like you're fucking guilty of it, too.

12:31

Yeah. Oh, yeah. No, I told my son to fuck off the other day. Yeah.

12:34

I mean, it's it's kind of a thing in this house. I mean, it's sometimes the only way I can get their attention. I'm like, Jake, you're being a total fucking asshole right now. I'm asking you to do something. That's for your benefit. Not mine. Yours. It's like when you're yelling. I'm not in charge of your shin guards. Well, I'm not in charge of a lot of shit in this house.

12:55

You are if you want it. You have boy girl too, right? Yeah, I

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love your silent laughs that no one else can hear. But I can see that's funny. Oh, okay. Yeah, I'm like she's going silent. But it's really a laugh. Okay. Yes, go ahead.

13:11

She's giving you her Mr. Ed face. Yeah.

13:15

Great teeth. Whitney.

13:16

Thank you. Yeah, I had postpartum depression and instead of cutting myself, I decided to get braces, so I can feel some sort of pain everyday. It was stupid. It was 5000 I had perfect teeth before.

13:28

Wait, you were in braces input with postpartum depression?

13:32

Yeah, it was my one way of like dealing with it. I decided to fix my

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and you're wearing grandma underwear. Like did your husband get near you for like five years?

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I told you I'm a really good way if I drink a bottle of wine. I think he just put a bag over my head. And was like, well, we'll let's we'll keep going. Yeah, my husband is be sainted.

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He is. Oh, that's impressive. Wow, great. Are you gonna have to send me a picture of you with braces on? I don't know if I allowed photography at that time. Was this like with Invisalign? Or without

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this these were the hardcore metal ah,

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brace or did you have headgear neck here? Like exactly

I just remember having that fuckin thing wrapped around my neck and those metal spokes that like had plaque building on him in the back corners that you shoved in your braces like and then I like think that my kids like didn't have to go through such extraordinary measures as I bet

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they got Invisalign and they got you know, they could take it out while they didn't have like prima spinner just stuck in there. Like,

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kids these days are like bleaching their teeth at 15 it's like totally like a different a whole different scenario. So you would you have women DMing you going, thank God, you're here. Thank God, you're making me feel normal. I'm not a bad wife. If I don't have sex with my husband every day. I'm not a bad mom. If I'm not a Pinterest, perfect person. The whole thing. You have an amazing story about how you started with these lunch bags.

15:08

Yeah, those

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gotta tell tell everyone about the lunch bags, because their last sec,

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you know, I totally missed an opportunity back to school I probably should have relaunched those but you shut up. I should I guess not too late. I'll do I'll maybe do this week. But my son kept forgetting his lunch. And the way that our school was structured, if someone forgot their lunch, there is this shelf, kind of by the Vice President's thing outside where you leave the lunch bag, and people were writing their names. But I started getting really pissed because he was forgetting his lunch on a daily basis. So I started writing passive aggressive notes on it was like, shut up. This isn't Chipotle. I'm sorry. No, fortnight is not a career choice. No, I don't know why your locker smells.

15:54

You need a haircut. Let's talk about your fingernails.

15:57

Yeah, you so you see, my friend was like, those are so funny. You should start selling them. And I said, cooling God's name is by a brown paper bag with my writing on it. I think you should. So we put them up on Instagram. And we sold out in the first week. And I still get orders from them. They're just they ended up they ended up on a talk show too.

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Oh, my God is so funny. And it's it made me think about my one line text to my kids. Because like all see my son, he's walking on the door. And then I send him like that one liner. Like, let's talk about your hair later. You know, things like that. But I find that my kids were like ignoring my texts, or they pretend that they don't see it. Then my son blocked me on snapchat because he was like, if you see photos that I post, then you like ask me questions like, Who was that girl? Who were you with? Who was there? So I don't want you to see my shit. So then I made my kids put read receipts on. Oh, okay. Yeah. So now I know that they saw the text that says let's talk about your hair. You need to get a haircut before school starts. Because before they were claiming, oh, I didn't see it. Oh, I was busy. But now I see. Okay, you fucking read that. Don't pretend you did it. Right. And we still need to talk about your hair. Yeah, we do need to talk about your hair. I mean, hair is a very hair is a very big topic in our house.

17:27

That's so cool. So my daughter, she's a little more vain, like she can get herself to the hairdresser. But my son would be a caveman. He just does not care.

17:37

Oh, no, my son is sort of moved into like tick tock hair a little bit like he used to want his hair straight. Now he wants to sort of go with the curl vibe and have a certain sort of like curly lug. My daughter is like a full blown minimi. I mean, she's having her hair Brazilian. She's having it highlighted. She's having a cut. She's 15. But like, who am I have to say like, I'm her mom. And she sees me doing it. So like what? And she also has like so much hair that if she didn't have any sort of treatment put on it. Like when it grows out. All we do is fight because I'm like, Did you wash your hair? She's like, it takes too long to dry. So it actually helps me as a parent be a better parent. If she has a treatment on her hair.

18:24

You're doing it for the family? Yes. It's

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like a family investment. That's how I explained it to my husband. I mean, it's so good.

18:31

Yeah, my daughter's will pay for my daughter's nails. She gets the gels. Oh, yeah. Is you have to scratch my head and my back. And she's like, fair, like, I'll totally do it.

18:42

Oh my god, mine would be like, actually, I'm not doing that.

I have to know a few things. Now, when you started this whole thing. Like did you have a plan for it? Like what how did you go from? Oh, I'm making lunch bags and posting a few things on Instagram to the new Stepford and viral and a huge platform.

19:09

Well, thank you for saying it's a huge platform. I don't personally feel

19:12

oh my god, we all have that like imposter syndrome. self doubt, blah, blah, blah. It's amazing. I own it and move on. Yeah.

19:20

Oh, no. Well, thank you. And my friend said that they because Whitney, imagine you have 100,000 followers mentioned all of them in a room. Yeah, I know. People it's a lot of people and when she put it that way, it's like oh, yeah, I guess I really the thing about being I'm still a micro influencer, which is so funny. And they add finding brands actually, like the micro influencers more because we have such like, I almost know, not all of their names, but I know a lot of my followers and I totally can DM so many of and I love that and I hope they appreciate that. But no, I didn't have any vision at all. I was just writing missives on Facebook and my friend happy To be a film director and she does these are funny, you should turn them into videos. That's like, well, I don't know anyone that shoots videos and she's like a little, a little a director. So Her name is Laura van Z Taylor, she has ended being a really good friend of mine. And she's the one that kind of helped me go into video. So I was one of the first people to start flipping from blogs to vlogs. Wait, so

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wait, how long ago was this? That was like eight years ago, eight years ago? Like I just got Instagram in September Whitney? was okay. I mean, isn't that crazy? But I guess the point is, we can, it's never too late. That's sort of the message of this podcast, it's never too late. You can start at any time and don't compare yourself to other people. Because it'll never end the comparison either. And

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find your niche find that thing that you do different and better and that way that you see the world that other people don't and that's why people will be attracted to you and to follow you. And I had to get over like Whitney not everyone's gonna like it. Yeah, a lot of people think kind of, you're a bitch.

21:07

Well, that's what I was gonna say is like, what? What was the reaction to this? Is this like, Bitch pretty mom in carpal who thinks she's fucking funny? Like, what was the response? You know?

21:20

Initially always it's always been very kind. You know? Because I think what it did resonate with women, which was like, Oh, thank God, I'm not alone. Yeah, this is me. This you you are putting out into the universe. What's going on inside my head? I occasionally, I will get. No basically I'll do a joke about doing my kids laundry. And the people on Facebook like Facebook is just like, a trash dumpster full of angry humans right now. You should have your own kids do their laundry. You're a failure as a mother, you know, my kids do their own laundry like will call clap to you.

21:55

Yeah, exactly. Pick your battles as a parent. And if that's all one of them, fuck it.

22:01

Move on. But I have to say God bless my follower base. If I get a troll, they'll actually defend me. I don't really have to do it myself. I have my follower base is absolutely

22:13

the best. When you started doing this, were your kids and husband Hi cow, old were your kids. tanish share kids or how old now? They're mine. They're like my kids ages

22:26

Exactly. 1715. Boy, girl, girl than boy. Okay, so

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your girls the oldest I have the flip flop boy first. And so when you first started this, were your kids. Like, why are you doing this? You are embarrassing. And what's your husband? Like? What's happening here?

22:45

I've always embarrassed them. So that's not an issue. But you know, we're not the Holderness family, like my kids, my son and my husband want nothing to do. I don't even know if they know I have this channel that they don't want to be in my videos. They will not let me post anything. You and I chatted yesterday I know that are off and we can't talk about my sex like my husband's like, I know that you can do what you need to do. I don't want to be I don't want my life. Public. Well, I married an introvert. I kind of knew what I was getting into.

23:15

Yeah, well, you have to have one of each. Otherwise you could explode in the house. I mean, look, my husband thinks I'm like living out on the moon. And he's like, why are you putting us on Instagram? Please don't do that. He's loosened up a little. But he let me he let me do like a Snapchat video of him sitting on a toilet last week. We were trying out new toilets. Yeah, I know. But it was also because he had like been a dick earlier. Like that whole week. He was super tired, cranky, snappy. So when I took out the phone to videotape him, it's not even the word film him shoot him trying out toilets. He kind of let it slide. And my kids do that too. Occasionally, my son's a lot better. Like I told you, I posted a picture of him the other day. But he had also come home really late that night. So it was sort of like a little bit of like a quid pro quo situation like I'll let that shit slide if you let my shit slide. So he let the post stay up and we didn't even talk about it my daughter's 15 So she's a little tougher. I have to do sort of the back of her head if at all.

Do you have advice for women who you know are in midlife, whatever that means kind of like 40 years zone and above who are starting to get the midlife at ease want to find something to sort of rebrand themselves judge themselves up? Like what's your advice for women who are like okay, what's next? Yeah,

24:45

I would say What are you doing in your spare time that brings you joy? What is that hobby? And it's that probably that you might put away in the shame closet because it's not cool or it's not fun or you can't make any money off of it. But they think that we are a generation And that has always been like, what's your hustle like I make my ass, but we need to kind of de evolve a bit and be like, what makes me happy? Yeah, and do that and find time and find space to paint, or write or run, or whatever kind of fills your bucket. I would say find that space to do that in your life. Because that's, you know, when your kids go, you're gonna have a lot more time to fill, you might as well fill it with stuff that makes you happy. Do you have hobbies? Yeah, I'm a screenwriter on the side. So I have a couple feature film scripts and a couple TV pilots. I think in my perfect world, that's like, My dream job is to get on a radio and stuff.

25:39

Interesting. Yeah. See, I'm not a big hobbyist. That's something I struggle with a little bit. I talked about that on my Instagram. My husband is like a supreme hobbyist, and my dad is a hobbyist in addition to their careers, but I'm not like a big hobby person. And I don't like playing mahjong or those things. So I'm like, and I'm not really athletic. So I'm like, tennis isn't good. Pilates is fine, because you don't have to have a skill set for Pilates. You just follow instructions. Yeah, exactly. You I mean, there is some lateralization of the braid when she's like, push your legs out and then do the arms at the same time. I'm like, Okay, wait, repeat that one more time.

26:21

Let me let me challenge you a little bit on that. Yeah, started your own podcast.

26:25

I know. But this is right. Now this is like as of this year, right.

26:29

But and so you found and you're probably no offense, probably not making a ton of money on it. Right?

26:34

It's actually it's like right now. It's like a passion project that is part of my midlife remix to figure out like, Okay, do I like this? Do I not like this? What's next for me?

26:45

Sadly, so that's exactly. It doesn't have to be a hobby in terms of like puzzles. A hobby can be. I want to I love being on camera and talking to my friends and having a podcast. That's a beautiful hobby.

26:57

I know. But I now that I do it so much. I'm like, wait, but now this is like my normal life. You know, like when you have something and then it like becomes not enough. And you're like, wait, I should also be playing tennis. I should also be knitting. I should also be doing needlepoint. Like I'm trying to figure out what hobbies there are out there for women. And I had all these women DM me when I posted about the hobbies. And people have really cool ideas. Like one woman was like, Yeah, I did some trapeze stuff over the summer. I totally. I know, I know, your mouth is dropping. Then another woman was like, Oh, I tried surfing. I mean, people are really going out there in their mid life trying cool new shit. I was impressed. Yeah, and

27:41

I think COVID When we're gonna write the books that we're going to write 10 years from now. They're going to look back at this COVID time and be like, it was a time for us to flex into those kinds of hobbies. Find those things that got you out of the house? That made you happy because it was a shit show.

27:55

And it wasn't Pinterest for you. Okay, so wait, I read that you love to pop zetz Oh my god. Did I actually post that? Yeah. So I'm a zip Hopper too. But my kids don't let me do it anymore.

28:12

I know. I've been banned. baseband and you you say

28:16

that popping zits is like porn for women. Why is that?

28:20

I can't believe you. I write these things. And I forget I write them. And I'm like, I do because I think it's the tension in the release. Right?

28:27

Ah, it's like instinct, right? It's like an orgasm like instant.

28:31

Exactly. And so I I don't watch porn. I just scroll through Dr. Pimple Popper videos.

28:37

I know, it's kind of gross. But I do too. And relaxing. I know, like your buds, Get Get it? Get it. I know. And then I'll find one black hat on my face. And I will attack it until it becomes like volcanic. Right? Because I'm looking for that. Black head pop out release.

28:57

Yeah, I know, I and my son's going through a little bit of an acne phase. And I'll wake up with some big white heads. And I'm like, oh, and he's like, No, you can't touch me.

29:05

I know. And I'm like, but you can't go to school with a white head. And he's like, You have to leave me alone. And the other. The other thing I have to be honest, I hope no one like my kids don't even listen to my podcast, so it doesn't matter. But like, eyebrow tweezing Hmm. Have you ever tweezed your son's eyebrows? Oh, that Oh, see that? He has like 10 hairs in the middle. And I'm like, do you have really like beautiful eyes and everybody's looking at them and you have like a full brow? That's like one piece? So like unibrow Yeah. And so I actually go in there with the tweezer and he lets me take out like 10 hairs and then we're done. You haven't done that yet. You got to try that. It has a little bit of that same pimple popping feeling. He doesn't have he doesn't he doesn't have any extra hairs. No, but You got to find someone who does because it's really it's really gratifying.

30:04

No, I just posted it. I'll sit on Zoom calls and I'll just like try and find it chin hair. Oh no,

30:09

no. Have you tried Derma planing?

30:12

I want to try Oh

30:13

my god, it's so good because it actually like shaves your beard. You know that peach fuzz that you see in sunlight and you're like, What the fuck is that? That when when they do the Dermaplaning facial they actually sort of like shave all that shit off your face. It's kind of amazing.

30:30

I'm so into that. I just think you know what? I'm in San Francisco. I had a good person. I've been down here for six years now that I have not found that you

30:38

want to come all the way to Santa Monica from Palace Verdi's. I'll give you my person because she's so good. And you'll be like beardless. Oh, I'd love that. But she doesn't like do nipple hairs or anything. We didn't go back to the nipple covers.

30:51

Well, let's go to the nipple covers. Okay, so for a while I was working. And I had this weird desk where I was kind of hunched over like this. Oh, that's a trend I would go running. That was really attractive. And then so I ended up with fungus under my job I shot. Yeah, no, you did that. Yeah, it was the yeast infection under my boobs itch and burn and every time I would sweat, or even get a little hot. It was just like on fire. So I did yogurt Monistat Lammas stat, everything you can think of organically to treat it, I would lay out in the back and just try and get sun on it. And finally after like a year of being in pain, I went to the doctor and I had Kunzel cream. So I stopped wearing bras. I quit. I can't put anything tight under my boobs. So I went through the I went to nipple covers, and they are amazing. I know. I have fake boobs that aren't that big. Anyways,

31:50

can you hold a pencil with your boo? Have you ever? Oh, she's trying it right now. You guys. Yeah,

31:55

I think I can. Yeah,

31:56

so if you can hold a pencil in you. It still sweats under there in that crease.

32:04

Yeah, it sweats. So

32:05

do you wipe it? Like how do you there's like powders and stuff that you can put like an anti chafing powder or that kind of thing.

32:13

You got it. You got it. I put the cream on. And then I put the Gold Bond powder. And sometimes I'll buy like the special fungus powder and you have to use it and I can't get hot.

32:23

That's amazing. You're super sexy for your husband. I mean, you have Costco underwear. But what is what? Boobs sweat, fungus Candida. I mean, you must like you really must be a good leg because that's a that's like a whole situation, Whitney. Yeah,

32:41

it's not pretty.

32:46

Now when you had your kids home during the pandemic, in lockdown, like did your humor go off the charts? Were you like going crazy. Like all the spoofing and the parodies and all of that, like did it exaggerate like your sense of humor and take it to like the wall?

33:03

i Yes. And no, like, I was more I was writing a lot more. But I didn't have time to actually film a lot on it. Okay. Oh, it's all kind of backed up. Because fill me my little stuff when they're home just doesn't work.

33:17

I know, it's really hard. I asked my son yesterday to help film something of me. And he's like, can you use Mehran to do it? And then I asked her to do it. And she's like, can you ask Jay to do it? And I'm like, you guys, you just went back to school shopping. I didn't even ask like really what you bought. And you can't even like do one little video for me.

33:38

They don't want it. They just it's they don't. And so I hire people. Sometimes.

33:42

I know. I just I know. For me,

33:44

I took my son to get his permit test. Oh my god. Monday and you know, you have to get at the crack of dawn so you can get to the DMV before they open to get in line. Plus, it's hard didn't didn't pass the first time.

33:56

Oh, just fine. You can only miss I think you can miss eight or something.

34:02

And he missed nine.

34:03

I mean, yeah, it's it's actually a really hard test. And I'm like,

34:07

I go. I'm not mad that you didn't pass it. I'm kind of mad that you didn't start studying till the night before. Yes, exactly. Then we get in the car and he says, I go can you order Starbucks? Get me a latte and a croissant sandwich. And we get there. He brings it back. And I go where's my croissant sandwich? Because you didn't say you wanted to? Oh, I go. Yeah, I did. Because so because he's six five and he orders like he's like you can have one a month. Oh, but next time on. Don't eat my food. Ah, that's when I lost it. I was like an fpu totally. I got a bit five. I filled out all the forms. I drove you there. I have to do this whole thing again. Next weekend.

34:49

The DMV is like hell, right? And now it's like Mom,

34:53

don't eat my food. I was like, Are you live on the island of me? And I said sometimes I just wish you would think outside of yourself. about how, what everyone else is doing for you. 100% 10 year old boys and teenage boys they it's just a very myopic Oh, it's

35:10

me, me, me, me, me and then now that he has a car and drives and he says like they're street parking signs. Now he like Parked behind me in the garage and I'm like, I'm not in college like I'm not doing fucking tandem parking with you. Move your damn your damn car or, you know, park a block away where there aren't the same parking restrictions but like, you're sleeping until 11. Like I'm not waiting for your ass to get up to move your car and I'm not moving in for you. So you need to pre think

35:38

this stuff. They can't I think they're Neanderthal like penis brains are just like, Oh, oops, oops, masturbate. Masturbate. Masturbate. Get everyone else. Just get out of the way.

35:50

Okay, wait, you just led me to think of this question. Do you feel that your platform your sense of humor has helped you with those, like awkward teen talks about like masturbation and porn and all that stuff. Tell me tell me tell me as you nod your head like a madwoman? Yeah,

36:08

all of it. You know, because I had to, you know, I don't know about you. But my parents were a little conservative about sex and masturbation. And so

36:15

my parents, my dad wouldn't have been if he wasn't scared of my mom. But my mom, it was like, I mean, I had a boyfriend through most of high school. She never mentioned anything. Not once. Not ever. And was that healthy? No, not healthy at all. And in my house, we're doing like a deep dive into the vagina.

36:35

Yeah, we I've had a whole conversation with my daughter about clitoral orgasms versus vaginal orgasms. I'm like, it's your body. And there's no shame. The best thing I can do as a parent is educate you take you to get birth control boy or girl. Because having a kid at 17 is gonna just throw you for a loop. Yeah, exactly. There's just no, I don't want any shame. I don't want you learning about sex on the playground from idiots that don't know what they're talking about. And so far, it's been great. They come to me with other questions. I probably know more than 92 about their sex lives. And but I'd rather them tell me and I'd rather be informed than not.

37:19

Now your husband does. Is he involved in those conversation?

37:22

Reluctantly, but yes, he is present for every like when my daughter was thinking about being sexually active. He made that boy come over. Oh, he sat him down. He had a conversation with him. What do you say? He's like, if you guys go pursue this track, this was a ton of responsibility. Are you ready for that kind of response? Wow,

37:44

I'm really impressed with your husband. Because Oh, you st my husband is the same. I hate to say that. But he really is like very tolerant. But I don't know if he would like could do that, like head on conversation with a boy. But we're all you know, she's only 15 right this second. So maybe if this shit hit the fan, and it was right here, he would have to dive into that.

38:07

Well, and kudos to the young man who showed up on the doorstep. That lumps, right. Wow, that's impressive. Shed what was important for my husband and I to which is like my daughter, Charlotte, we take your sexual health very serious now. And we value your body and what you do with it. And it's it's not something we ever are going to throw away. You're our priority. And we will protect you. And I think that you know, inviting that young man over and having that conversation.

38:38

He never came back. They dated for a little bit. He was like, oh my god, the new Stepford and all of her parenting strategy.

38:50

Stuff I can't put I can't put on my

38:52

I know trust me I get it. There's so many things that we want to talk about, but we can't necessarily talk about right that's her story to tell not my story to 100% That's how I feel about it

I read that you we've created this parenting bucket of like, I'm doing me you're doing you I kind of don't care what you think. And this is how I'm gonna parent. Yeah, I would say that's true. And how has that been received in like the mom community? Um,

39:26

I have no I got fired from doing the talent show. Oh, years ago. That was fun.

39:35

When you do your own parenting bucket.

39:39

I got fired from a volunteer position

39:46

Okay, so can you tell us about how you got fired from

39:50

my school in San Francisco would do these gigantic talent shows? We would sell out the college auditorium for three days it was it was like show And then when I came down to our school here it was a shit show. I was like this is unwatchable. This is not organized. What? What are you doing? And so I said, Okay, guys, no, no, no, no, we're gonna hear. Let me I will help you.

40:14

Yeah, I will do it my way.

40:18

And they did not like that. That was not what they like, why are you kicking parents? I'm like, because this is a surprise. I don't want parents here. And I'm going to write the intros for the kids to transfer because what they're doing right now is embarrassing and painful to watch. Like it's a fourth grade talent show, but it shouldn't be. It should be watchable. And it shouldn't be. So

40:40

how long did they allow you to be like, super bitch for

40:43

like, three weeks, and I got and they were like, we'll take this back now. Oh, so use this for the kids. I'm like, Huh? It's actually for the parents and the kids like

40:56

and didn't you get I read something that did you get into it with somebody mom or grandma who was like trying to cut in line or something and she tapped you on your head? You went into the deep cuts? I know. I told you I was doing like Whitney rabbit hole. Wow. Yeah.

41:11

No, she ended up being a drunk. Hmm. And she tried to cut in line in the, again, the organize the year even our type A people like things organized. Yes. And it was like studio 54 People would come and stand outside the photographer, go take picture my group take like, why isn't there a line? Why isn't this organized? Right bubbled up. And this lady just so I organized? Everyone's like, third grade, fourth grade, fifth grade. Everyone in line. Okay. Boo, boo, boo boo. She just walked up to the front of the line. I'm like, You can't do that. We have a system now. Well, she has a violin lesson. Yeah, I don't give a shit. They all have something. They all have a piano practice or soccer practice. And she was like, she tapped me on the head. She was like, Ah, you're new here. We don't treat. We don't treat each other like that. Oh, like I said, I'm pretty tall. I'm five, nine and a half. Like I kind of was like that. You've just tapped me on this. Like on the head. She just wow, me. And she yelled at me. And I yelled at her back. So I think that's where it started. Not being popular. There wasn't very popular. I found my tribe. I found the freak shows I found the creative people that you know, it was hard moving back here because you're redefining yourself and who am I is the mom and how do I show up as a parent? And yeah, I finally found my people took a couple years, but I'm so happy. Have you

42:31

found that your basic theme for being a mom and a wife and having a life is just sort of doing you and whatever else happens happens? That's sort of how I see it. It's like, if you're not you then forget it.

42:45

Yeah, but I think you know, who am I has changed every couple years.

42:49

Yeah, that's true, too. But just being honoring who you are at that time and not trying to be someone else.

42:56

Yeah, you know, I'm a people pleaser. I'm a bit of a chameleon. So here's my theory on life says like, if anything when I'm when I die on the planet, and you come to my funeral, I hope that will say is she made me feel good about myself? Yeah. And I think sometimes, when you want to make people feel good about themselves, sometimes you put your own opinions behind to celebrate that person. So even though somebody is doing something that I would disagree with, or I wouldn't do myself, I think it's important to say, Hey, you're doing a good job. You're showing up as yourself. Good for you.

43:29

Yeah, I love that. I mean, the promise of my podcasts and like you said, getting DMS from people who are like, Oh my god, like I'm in this midlife thing too. I'm so glad you called it the midlife issues or the midlife remix, like and not the midlife crisis. Like I'm just I'm also trying to figure out what's next for me. And sometimes I feel like I'm the only one or I'm the only one that it feels so hard for and put putting yourself out there is really hard.

43:58

And I think people like you. What's important for when you have a platform is to share your failures. I think it's really just important is sharing your successes, isn't it guys? I tried this I fell on my ass. But here's what I learned. Like, I think we don't have enough of people going yeah, guys, I sucked at that. I tried that. You know, and we come out of this. This political climate where you never can never say that you were wrong and you would never say you're sorry. And you know, just lie lie lie to get through and I think that has imprinted on us a bit as well. Well, we're not allowed to say I'm sorry I screwed up. We need to do more of that as as women and spouses and

44:37

yeah, it's a lot of like walking on eggshells.

Now let's talk about for a second about when your new baby tell us about what it is how it is why it is.

44:55

Yes, thank you. I love it so much. I love it so much. So As a creator, so I spent seven years at Coke and seven years at Walt Disney. So I was in digital marketing. So I have all this brand experience that and three years at Sephora, that I, I get how brands think I think through KPIs, I think about marketing campaigns, I think through initiatives, but having this dual life as an influencer myself, understanding as the creator, what do I need to be creative? And what how do I want to show up for advertisers and sponsors? And somehow figured out how to merge those two things. So I created wing. So again, women recreating themselves. I fell into it in that my friend worked for See's Candy. And I called her and said, I, I have all these mommy bloggers that would love to celebrate See's Candy. Can I put together a pitch for you? And she said, Oh, okay, so really a very limited amount of money. I was able to get them 20 influencers talking about See's Candy. They loved it. Huge success. She goes, Can you do it again? I'm like, sure, sure. We'll give you here's a little more money for Thanksgiving. And so that's how we was born. It was originally called the bitch niche. But I hold a ball. They're like, Yeah, I can't put an invoice with the bitch niche.

46:14

Oh my gosh, oh, we

46:15

had to change the name to wink. Wink is spelled differently. Yeah, it's wh for Whitney. And then I and for influencer and K for creative. So it's kind of an amalgamation of Yeah, together. So it's called with creative agency. And so we're different. We're not a talent agent. We don't manage influencers. I work for brands solely. And I found a niche where brands don't. They're putting their toe in influencer marketing, but a lot of them haven't like made the leap, both financially and resource wise, they don't have a body there to do it. So I kind of fill in that gap is their outsourced in house influence or management person. So they give me a budget, and then I go scour the internet, and I go past, basically, for a campaign for them. And I get to spend other people's money, I get to listen to myself talk, I get to work with creators on creating amazing content. And so it's it just fires up all the things that I love in my life. And we just got rid of top five agencies to watch in 2021. So I think it's a business model that's really sticking, and I hope to grow. And I, you know, say I've got a lot to learn, you know, I've got a lot, you know, I haven't owned my own agency before. So, again, growth, how do I grow? How do I get more clients? How do I support myself with resources and back end databases and accounting software? I'm so excited.

47:40

Yeah. And I feel like it's such a such a big point of this podcast, and the messaging is, it's okay to be a beginner. Yes. Like you're a beginner at this. You have obviously institutional brand knowledge from working in all these brands, but you've never done in agency before. You're putting yourself out there in a totally different way. And I think one of the themes that keeps coming up is this like idea of? Are you okay with being a beginner? And are you okay with learning as you go?

48:10

Yeah, and you know, scary shit. It's 50. Right? Or you're 40? Certainly, yeah. Scary because you're like, I'm surrounded by people who've been doing this their whole lives. I'm totally the freshmen here. I'm sure I'm gonna stick my foot in it. You have to be okay with that. And please, for the love of God, surround yourself with mentors that are friendly, that want to help you. Because there are a lot of people out there that want to see you fail, but there's just so many people out there to go here. Come sit down with me. Here's what you did. Right? Here's what you're doing right? Here's where I think you can improve. And I've hopefully managed to bring a cadre of mentors together that are kind of like okay, we get what you're doing here. We're gonna help you do that

48:51

we're really very good vocabulary amalgamation. Love that word. Audra. Love that word. I mean, these are like sad words. I like just haven't heard for a while. I'm impressed. Definitely. You definitely are a writer.

49:04

Oh, see. And that's the other thing is like I've got so I've got to concentrate on week. But I thought these scripts that are funny, but when one of my films is called Ghost hooker. The tagline is, either way, you're fucked.

49:17

Yeah, go by you don't get HPV or any STDs because it's a ghost. Right? Right.

49:23

And it's just a fun little rom com slash paranormal gore fest because I'm a horror fan. So horror and comedy are kind of two sides of the same coin. Yeah, I got it. I'm really into the horror genre. And so I write you know, I write sci fi and I write horror, and I also write comedies. So that's my goal.

49:47

Yeah. Your goal is not to be bathed and making dinner for your husband every night. You're not going to be Stafford

49:54

No. And so so you know, the creator side of me gets kind of put on that the backburner. Uh huh. Grab my camera and make a funny real try make a viral video that that's been kind of pushes, but I missed that. Like, that's also my outlet I'd

50:11

like tell us about your fortnight video.

50:12

Oh, that was so funny. Yeah, I was walking my dog one night outside of a friend's house and I heard her son screaming at his playing fortnight. And I was like, Oh, thank God, my son's not the only one that does that. Ah, God. And so I thought, oh my gosh, here's what we're going to do. We're going to record our son's playing fortnight, and then my friend Angie, we're going to lip sync it.

50:38

It's so good at Oh, it's so funny thing in there, like yelling all these things that I've been hearing in my house for years. I mean, it's like a whole underground and then the whole part where you're like, Mom, you gotta get off the internet. Like, oh my god, I'm like reliving my last five years, especially during the pandemic with that whole like, fortnight shit. And, like, there were like, 10 boys screaming Oh my god.

51:09

Yeah, it's a horror, and especially at the very end, where he's like, Oh, my mom's here. You gotta watch your language. Because they're nasty. Oh, they

51:16

are nasty. For sure. And my husband's always like, well, it's not personal. I'm like, okay, but it just like sounds really personal. Bruce

51:26

was that video did really, really well, that would make a viral

51:29

it did like, how many views did that get?

51:32

That like 50 million 60 million. You know, because then it got I'm sure you've seen this too. People will steal it and repost it and you'll never know. And if unless somebody tagged you and goes to your on, you know, Australia's today's show you

51:49

exactly oh my gosh, that's it's so good. It's so classic. I love it. Anything happened with

51:54

the passive aggressive lunch bags, they went so viral? And I didn't even know half the places they showed up.

52:00

Oh my god. The one that I just saw of yours was a video where you're like dropping your kids off at school. And they forget their shoe. Yeah. And you're like, I've no want to nuber I have a life too. I'm not in charge of your shin guards like the and I was like, Wait, is she Am I talking? Is she talking? You know? And like, I think that's the beauty of it. It's like you get confused because you're like, Wait, is she reading my mind? What time

52:27

are you in my house right now?

52:36

I have so love talking to you. I have love shoveling my shirt with you. I hope everyone has enjoyed Whitney as much as I have. And as much as everyone enjoys the new step bird and watching in Israel. I know you guys have to check her out. I love digging deep with you if listeners want to find you Where are they going to find you Whitney?

52:57

I'm on the new Stepford on Instagrams, my main channel, please DM me, tell me how your day is going and Facebook and I just started Tik Tok. I have 113 followers.

53:08

You're going to be rad. I'm breaking the internet. Breaking you are you can't be viral on every channel. Come on.

53:16

Every channel needs a little bit of a different content strategy.

53:20

It's a lot think about what shit you can start doing today. One small step. I want to thank Whitney the new stepper for sharing her story on antics on parenting wiping momming through her social media platforms. Thanks for sharing your fucking insane sense of humor and why we need it in the second half of life and hence this podcast Whitney Cicero