Episode 26 transcript

00:00

But I'm just gonna ask. And then you said yes.

00:04

Well, I'm in. I'm saying yes to a lot of podcasts right now because my new book is coming out. I know pre order. So it's like I have to sell 7000 copies before October.

00:14

Oh my gosh. Did you see I sent you a DM I didn't I realized that we both do City Year.

00:23

I don't anymore. I was I don't know, I was on a board of city or Miami for like 10 years, but

00:29

that's okay. Cuz that's what I'm doing right now with LA. I've been on it for like eight years or something. Yeah, it's a great charity. It's so good. I really, and I feel like especially right now with like, the, all the COVID stuff, especially in LA where everything's like, gonna be closed down forever. Probably. I know. I feel like we need it more than ever. For sure,

00:53

definitely. I had heard that things were starting to open up in LA now.

00:57

I know. But now with this delta Varian thing. They're like, Ah, now we have a mask mandate back. Okay, I know. So now I'm like, Oh, my God, are they going to start like doing rolling? closing? I don't know. I pray to God. I know. And then you guys are in Miami. Just like, this is not being aired, by the way, this part of the conversation but like, you guys are like Miami, just like Whoo. Right?

01:25

Well, I mean, it depends on who you are. I mean, I'm not. I'm not running around like that, because I don't want to get sick, and I'm vaccinated, but I have friends that are vaccinated, they got the Delta variant. So I know I just I'm being really cautious. I know, I know so many people right now. And I'm like, Oh, my God, like,

01:42

are we doing something wrong? What's happening? So weird? Yeah, it stinks. And I'm like, what's the purpose of all that? I just realized my water bottle is not here. Give me one sec. I'm back. Okay, so what I'm going to do is, um, I know, it's like, awkward, I'm sure you've been through before, I'm going to read the intro. You know, you always have like the choice of either memorizing or reading and I'm too old to memorize shit. For me, I'm so so I'm going to read the beginning part. And then we're just basically going to have a conversation about how, hmm, how your confidence creating platform, how you built it, what motivates you to keep it going. And obviously, most of my list, not all of my listeners are going to be entrepreneurs or business owners. But the premise of the podcast is basically inspiring and normalizing self reinvention and the second half of life. So when I saw your platform, I was like, Oh, we could totally use confidence in building out midlife self reinvention. Even if we aren't business owners. It's trying new things, kind of keeping our like external and internal selves like mode, you know, motivated and at the top of our game, so I'm going to kind of sort of go back and forth between like, kind of more like the business mindset would you bring and how we can apply that to like our everyday midlife lives? if that's okay with you. Yeah, sure. Okay, as

03:37

long as we mentioned the pre order at the end, that's, that's, um, like my number one, folks. Perfect. No

03:43

problem. You can say, whatever you want. Thank you. Hold on. I have the book. We talked we also talked about, we talked about both of your books. So you know, at any point, if you want to say that even if it's not the end, and you just want to say it's for pre order now and then you want to say that at the end. That's totally fine, too. Okay. Whatever. Whatever feels comfortable for you. Okay. are ready. Here we go. I have like hair stuck to my face. It's probably not it's already hot here. It's probably hot for you guys, too. And super humid, right? Oh, yeah. I like the air conditioning blasting in here. I'm probably gonna be frozen when we're done. But that's a guy. So we're gonna start Hi, good peeps. This is the next episode of the flexible neurotic podcast. I'm Dr. Sarah Milken, the flexible neurotic. Today I have a guest who is a confidence creator. I have admired her on Instagram and just reached out to her. She is smart, badass and so inspiring. She's a best selling author of a book called confidence creator, a best seller with another book out in November. She's a keynote speaker TEDx speaker faculty at Harvard teaching professional sales and leadership and has most recently been appointed to the board of directors of healthy link Corp. She was named one of the 40 female keynote speakers for 2020. By real leaders, her story is amazing from two decades as a high ranking executive in corporate America, losing it all and building a personal brand and platform to help women step out of their comfort zones. Her name is Heather Monahan. Hi, Heather. Hi, thanks for having me. I'm so excited to have you I feel like you are going to help us build our confidence muscles as you call it in midlife and midlife reinvention. The intention of this episode is to dive deep with Heather with our golden shit shovels to determine how we can build and use confidence to create midlife confidence for our personal and professional lives. to self recreate in the second half of our lives. Heather is going to teach us how to build our confidence muscle by taking messy action steps and firing our self doubt. It's basically like the midlife confidence glow up right, Heather? Yeah, absolutely. We're gonna find Heather's golden nuggets to move from fear into the stage in the second half of life. Whether you're an empty nester mom, itchy for your next move or a woman in her career looking for a new midlife identity. Heather's advice and real life experiences relate to all of us. You righty Heather. born ready, let's go on. Ready? Let's go. Okay, so we know that our childhood formative years played a huge part in our self identity formation. Sometimes we incorporate the best and the worst. Sometimes we run for the hills. Can you give us a quick snapshot of your childhood and how you feel like it's impacted your life trajectory so far? Yeah, I

06:59

had a really difficult childhood. And I grew up poor. My mom was a single mom of four kids, you know, there was times where we're using food stamps times we were living in a trailer in the back of my grandparents house. Definitely not positive memories. So what I would say is that that time in my life really shaped me to want to chase money. You know, it really I started working when I was 10 years old with my first paper route, and then started bussing tables at diners and working at fast food restaurants and ultimately led me to waitressing and bartending, which really was like a decade long experience to learn sales. And that really set me a great for when I graduated college, I went right to work for the Gallo winery. And I applied all that sales experience that I had been developing for the last 10 years into my new career, which really, you know, it worked out really well for the different positions that I had and, and eventually led me to the media business and becoming an equity partner and then led me to become a chief revenue officer and, and had a really successful 20 year run.

08:11

That's such an incredible story from someone who basically took what I've read about you, you were basically saying that you felt shame, you never felt like you were enough. And you were able to turn those feelings and create this whole brand and identity especially after having like a 20 year career and we're going to talk about your 20 year career and how that sort of came to a crashing halt and you have the ability and the resilience to be upset for a minute but pull your shit together and really build something amazing. And I can't wait to get into that with you. Yeah, absolutely. So let's dive into Heather Monahan, your platform, your message, how you're helping creating confidence in people. And I sort of feel like now I'm 46 I'm 46 you're 46 you live in Miami, you have a tween son, you're not married, right? I'm divorced. Right? Okay. So just four years ago, you had a life changing event that birthed this whole next version of you, Heather Monahan and your platform, and I'm so excited for listeners to hear what happened. Can you tell us what happened?

09:27

Yeah, so it'll actually be four years, August 1. So coming up on four years, which is so crazy. I one year before I was fired, I was the chief Revenue Officer of a media company. I'd been there for 14 years. And I had just been Ono year before this happened. I decided I wanted more. In regards to giving back to people I was constantly sitting on the boards of charities trying to get more meaning and purpose out of my life. And then I was working all the But I wasn't getting to spend enough time with my son. And I thought to myself, I've got to find a way where one of these things has to drop. And so I thought, you know what I'm gonna step back from the charity. And instead, I'm going to start my own brand and start sharing my own tips and sharing how anyone that if you grew up in poverty or not, can get ahead and just start teaching people from, you know, this personal brand position. And so a year before I got fired, I launched my personal brand, I launched my website, Heather mind, and that thumb, all my social media, I took public, and immediately the GC and CFO were attacking me and telling me I had to shut it down. And it was a conflict of interest. And that couldn't be tolerated. But I had spoken to an attorney and I had seen, you know, much bigger companies than ours, like Bank of America had executives that had personal brands. So I knew that there was no conflict of interest. And I was happy to incorporate any verbiage they wanted on my site to help them feel you know, that it was clearly noted, it wasn't representative of their opinions or their thoughts. And I did that and had no problem with it. But it didn't stop there. Their harassment just intensified for the next year and got really, really ugly. But I decided not to back off, I knew what I was doing was right. And it was not harmful, and I had good intentions behind it. And then I was named one of the most influential women of the Year in radio. And three weeks later, I got fired. And that happened, because the CEO I had been working for for 14 years who I loved. He became ill, and he elevated his daughter to replace them. And she was the CFO, so she fired me immediately.

11:37

Such a crazy story. So tell us, you, you drove three hours to her office, I read this, you show up, she tells you you're fired. And she gives you two options. Tell us what those were.

11:49

So, you know, I had been in this business for a long time. And so typically, what happens when any high level executive is getting terminated is the company wants to protect themselves to make sure there's no disparaging comments, no critical information shared and really tries to put themselves in the best light. And the way that they do that is they leverage money, you know, over people who are getting terminated. So I knew, you know, when she she was really excited to have this conversation with me, because she

12:18

despised wanted to stick it to you.

12:21

She was really excited for that. And, and so she just offered me what the standard deal would be, which is, you know, she could put out a memo saying, I get Heather's fired. Or she could put out, you know, really beautiful memo, you know, saying what a wonderful employee I was and how much we did for the company, and that I was moving on to, you know, new opportunities, and leave it somewhat vague. But if I wanted that nice memo to go out, I would have to sign a you know, basically a gag order that would say, I would never speak about her or the company ever again. And if I would do it, I'd get a big check. You know, as a parting gift, and I just, I had been bullied by this woman for too long. And I just I had been working on my confidence, and building my confidence. And even though it was incredibly uncomfortable, I made the right choice to stand up for myself and say, I didn't write either one of your memos. I'm not signing either one of them. And if you have nothing else to say to me, I'm out of here and I left.

13:23

And you when you drove there, did you know you were going to be fired?

13:27

No, I didn't. It was, you know, I had just been named one of the most influential women in radio I had, you know, I had such a massive track record of success. It was just, I never thought I knew that woman hated me. But I never thought she would make a business decision based off emotion. I thought that, you know, we'd coexist, or I just I didn't I couldn't imagine that she'd actually fire me I just have.

13:53

So when you were driving for three hours, you weren't like, Okay, well, when she pitches me this deal or that deal? What am I going to take? So when you're in that spot, and she fires you and says, do this or do that? Would you want this or that? You're basically running on your intuition on the spot on your feet right there? Like, how did you do that? I just trusted myself, right? I just do always trust your intuition.

14:19

No, I mean, there's different times in my life where I've trusted it more than others. Right? So I was deliberately and intentionally working on my confidence at that time, because she had been bullying me so aggressively at work. It was really impacting me negatively. So I had been working on this. And it just it paid off. Right, I was able to show up as the most powerful version of myself in a very difficult moment.

14:41

And what were those that what were some of those tools that you were using that year when you're building your personal brand in addition to having this corporate job that helps you have the balls to be like Actually, you know what, take your money and shove it. I'm gonna do Heather.

14:58

I you know, one of the things that I Realize that I actually did a TED talk about this is, you know, I had been in media for two decades. And I was great at launching campaigns for massive brands, McDonald's, you know, Ford Motor Company, and helping them to sell products and achieve their goals. And I thought to myself, why don't I use the same methodology that I've always used to create campaigns for brands and do it for myself. And so I basically broke down the same way that I would run an ad campaign for a client and did it for me to create competence within me and I made the decision that the goal would be for me to be a more competent version of myself, I look at all the platforms you can advertise on. And for me, I want to advertise on my mind. So I chose my mind as the ad campaign platform that I wouldn't use. I decided I want to have a jingle or a music bed, because that elicits emotion and really can have a visceral effect. So I chose a song that was like my theme song that I would use to pump myself up on one

15:55

that

15:57

was Kendrick Lamar is I love myself.

16:00

That said, I remember reading that.

16:03

And so I, I would play that song, while I would read really powerful verbiage that I wanted to have actually come to fruition in my life. And then I had a call to action. And for me, that was fear is a green light, that means go and whenever I feel fear, I'm going to go and go faster and right into it, not run away from it. And I would look at an image of myself, I have a life size cutout of myself in a red dress where it's a really powerful moment. And I remember how I felt in that moment. And I so I would visualize looking at that image, listening to that song, making these mantras, as well as you know, talking in my mind about what I was going to do step into fear no matter what, when I feel scared, I'm going to step into it. And I did this seven times a day for probably a month, right. But Wow, this all came down.

16:51

That's amazing. And you talk about a lot of this in your first book, create confidence. And now your second books coming out in November, which we're all excited about to hear especially we're gonna get into that in the middle of this episode. But I want to talk for a second about how are midlife identities are very defining and like I think that for you as a career woman and then being fired and having to make that pivot, and that shift must have been sort of confusing and overwhelming. And what's my next move. And I think for even listeners who may not have a business or career, but perhaps their moms are, you know, becoming empty nesters or already are, it's sort of like a similar thing. Because as a mom, you're sort of you're not being fired. But you're sort of aging, your kids are getting older and you're not needed as much anymore. It's sort of like you're becoming like a part time mom. And I remember in your book, you talk about how your identity was so tied to your career and your paycheck. And I feel like a lot of moms their identities, or at least for me, too, are so tied to my kids and raising my kids and my whole day about what you know who's doing what and what's happening. So what do we do when this sort of midlife event happens? Like your kids are going off to college or with you, you're getting fired, and sort of reworking that identity?

18:17

while they're there. I mean, there's those are different situations. So I would have different advice for institutions. You know, if if someone gets fired, this is what I the advice that I gave myself that I took, I raise my hand and I posted on social media, I have just been fired, and it really hurts. And if I've ever helped you, I need to hear from you today. And that's great story. I

18:41

want to tell the listeners like a little bit of background on that. So you got fired, and then you went to LinkedIn. And if not everyone knows what LinkedIn is. It's basically I don't know, how would you describe it like an Instagram for business? more business? Yeah. And so you basically went on LinkedIn and posted a post, tell us what it said and what the reaction was. It's an amazing story.

19:05

Yeah, I just posted that I've just been fired. And if I've ever helped you in any way, I need to hear from you today. And that post went viral. And you know, I had so many opportunities, but I basically, I decided to reframe, you know, seeing getting fired a lot of people feel very ashamed about getting fired. I didn't, I thought I didn't do anything wrong. I did a great job. But that company, this woman just didn't like me. And you know what, I'm gonna put getting fired to work for me and I googled who has been successful in life that has been fired. And it turns out JK Rowling and Mark Cuban and Oprah Winfrey and Steve Jobs and the most successful people in the world have been fired. So I thought, why not advertise that you got fired then because I'm going to, you know, create that same kind of success for my future and I just decided to really embrace it and ask for help. And that landed me on the Elvis Duran show and Halfway through that interview, he said to me, Well, obviously you're writing a book. And I said, Well, obviously, but I really, I really wasn't writing a book. But in that moment, you know, he taught me a great lesson, which is that one person believing in someone can completely change the trajectory of their life. And, you know, his belief in me. And that conviction he had in me and that he was so certain that I was doing it, that I decided to do it. And I had no plan or strategy. I just googled How do you write a book? And it basically said, you just have to sit down and be disciplined about writing day in and day out. And and that's exactly what I did.

20:39

And you your first book, you self published? I did. So you went through all of those steps and trying to like, figure out what do I do? I have no idea what I'm doing. And that's hard, you know, especially like, even for me at 46. I'm like, I don't know how to do a podcast. So I'm googling. How do you do a podcast, but for a lot of people, including myself, it's sort of like embarrassing to start small. How do you how do you have this sort of confidence to do that? I mean, for me, I was like, Okay, if I overthink this, I'm never gonna do anything. So I have to just like, throw myself out there, throw shit on the wall. be okay with it not being perfect and see what happens? Well, I

21:20

mean, just think back to other times in your life, everyone starts at a beginner as a beginner at first, right? I started as a beginner with a paper route at 10, not knowing anything about sales. But I started, right. And then that led me to the diner. And then that led me to fast food. And then that led me to a nice restaurant. And then that led me to the Gallo winery that led me to become an equity partner. All those things, it started with day one, right? So the only the key is just to start not to spend time saying, oh, it stinks to be a beginner. But this is the only way to begin. And if yesterday was the right time to do it today is the only time to do it.

21:55

And no, I love that you talk about learning as you go and being willing to be a beginner. And learning as you go, I guess your biggest example of that is how do I read a book, right?

22:07

I don't there's been so many, right? So I had to figure out how to write a book, I had to figure out how to start a podcast how to figure out how to land a TEDx talk, I had to figure out how to launch a professional speaking career, I had to figure out how to land the gig teaching at Harvard. I mean, there's so many things in the last few years that I've done that I've been completely a rookie at that it's um, it's become just the new norm for me that, you know, I'm constantly stepping into new things and starting over as a beginner.

22:38

That's amazing. And I think that like two tools for listeners, it would be this idea of learning as you go and be being willing to be a beginner because we all expect our children to do that. We're like, yeah, take that painting class. Yeah, join that soccer team. But then we don't apply the same expectation start ourselves, because we're like, oh, wait, I'm 46. I can't start an Instagram account. I have no idea what I'm doing. I can't start a podcast. I don't know what I'm doing.

23:08

Yeah, I mean, it's just, you know, basically be used children as the example, then you want to be setting that example for them. So you need to ask yourself that question, which is, if I want my kids to join the soccer team, I want my kid to take the painting class, I need to lead by example, and show up and lead this family by actually doing the things I'm asking them to do.

23:29

Right and going back to our conversation earlier about applying confidence to like a career pivot versus like a midlife pivot, let's say as a mom, who's going to become an empty nester, what advice if you had women who are following your platform and taking your online course? What advice do you have for women who are in that position looking sort of, you know, they have the midlife issues, their kids are older, they want to do their next thing? What tools can you provide to them?

23:59

Usually, with moms, the most important thing is for them to start putting themselves first, right. So that's, you know, that's a it's a reframe, where, probably for a long time, they were putting their children's needs and wants ahead of their own or their spouse or whoever. But you know, getting them to focus on you know, putting yourself first is not selfish, it's self less, because the happier and healthier you are, the happier and healthier your family will be. And you know, those around you will be and the more you can give to others because you will be you know, doing better. And so it's making that switch of everyone needs have to come ahead of mine to know from now on, I'm going to put my needs first.

24:38

Right. And I also think it's interesting you talk about I don't know if it was on your Instagram or in your book, but you talk about how you are very open and transparent with your son. Because you are you know, or at the time you were traveling a lot and you were away for certain sort of things that were happening in his life. And you basically said, Well, why don't you tell us like how you start For him, so he's has you have full transparency and buy in from him. Yeah, I

25:05

mean, I've let him know, he always knows what's going on. He knows I'm building my own company right now. And he knows the goals that we have for my new book. And he, you know, he's always a part of I am very open, because I want him to learn from a business perspective, first and foremost, right to understand business, you know, from a young age, so that he can set himself up for successes as he grows older, but also just from an embracing the unknown and stepping into fear, all the things that I didn't know what to do when I was younger, I want him to see that I'm actually not only my telling him about it, but I'm living it. And then that allows him to be a part of that journey. And, you know, gosh, I've been out of town so many times when things have happened. And some of the great things that happened, because of that is he's learned to trust and lean on other people, right, and learn that, wow, there isn't just my mother, you know, for me in my life, I can meet friends, and then I can lean on their families, and then I can you know, I have other people that can surround me and encourage me doesn't just have to come from one person. And I think that's a really powerful lesson.

26:09

I love that. And it also teaches them a sense of like self regulation, independence, resilience, it's like, my mom's gonna be on the phone, she's gonna know that I'm okay, I'm going to be with this other mom while I have this injury, and I can self regulate and take care of myself and talk to myself and say, like, I'm going to be okay, I'm going to see my mom in a week, and she knows that I'm safe. Exactly. It's such a powerful lesson now, in terms of relating to this idea of learning as you go. I mean, that has been like such a big thing for me in this midlife remix of like creating this podcast and trying to create a brand around it. And you have this other quote, that is move fast and break things and figure out the rest. That's the gist of it. Right? Can you tell us what you mean by that?

26:58

So that I mean, that's really a business lesson, right? Yeah. So in business speed to market is critical. And, you know, when you when you sit around and procrastinate and try to over strategize, you'll be beat to market by your competition and knocked out, you know, the opportunity. So, you know, having learned through my business experiences that it's always better done will always be better than perfect speed to market is the answer. And when I move fast and break things, things work out, I figure it out, I innovate, you know, I can create something new and something exciting, but the problem is sitting and not, you know, not doing it. So I really, I I've learned that back in corporate America, and I apply it now in my entrepreneurial journey, which is, you know, that's why it took me five months to write and self publish. My first book was I knew I wanted this done, and I needed it done fast. And so I've really been moving very, very quickly over the last few years to make sure that I'm taking my own advice.

28:00

Now that business advice, how do you apply it to perhaps women who are listening, who maybe don't have a business or want to start a business and they're like, I don't know how to do this. This is imperfect. I don't know how to do the Instagram. I don't know how to make a newsletter. What advice do you give us?

28:19

Yeah, there's no such thing as perfect, right? It just doesn't exist. And you're only fooling yourself. If you think that there is that's just fear. You know, perfectionism is a cover for fear. So when you strip it down to what to whatever, you know, call it what it is, don't call it perfect. Call it I'm scared. And the more you start retraining yourself to do that, the more you're gonna say, you know what, I'm sick of saying, I'm just sitting here because I'm scared. That's ridiculous. I

28:44

need to start taking action. Right. And in terms of like, starting something new and taking risks, obviously there's going to be a lot of noes along the way and I know you posted on Instagram today, which I really loved. And I'm trying to find a note on it in terms of how many times were said no to before we hear a yes, you wrote I had 100 nose for my TEDx talk I had 14 nose on my book deal five I think it was five nose on the second book deal and then the six was the green light to go for the book deal. How do you take the nose not personalize it and crumble and give up like what is your resilience tool of like okay, I'm keep getting these knows it's not about me, but I'm gonna keep fucking going. How do you you how do you get back into it?

29:38

Well, again, I'm very lucky and that I have a career in sales, right? And sales is just a numbers game. So anyone who's successful in sales does not take a note personally, they see it as a challenge or an opportunity. So I you know, I'm 46 years old and I've been in sales my entire life my entire career. So for me, it's no is not no means nothing. It doesn't really mean anything to me. It's irrelevant. It goes right off my back. Because I know it's a numbers game. It's not about the No, it's about getting to the one. Yes.

30:08

So if you if there's a woman who comes to you and is like, I want to start this new business, I've been a mom, I don't know how to do this, but I'm afraid people are gonna say no. And the other piece of it is fear. You know, judgment, you're, you're fearing that other people are going to be like, Oh, my God, what is she doing? Blah, blah, blah? What's your advice?

30:27

Your you are going to get nose. But that's just all part of the process. Right? If success was easy, everybody would have it. Yeah, I just remind myself of that. Anytime that I'm being told no, is, you know what, this is a great opportunity for me to get better. This is a great challenge for me to go to the next level, how can I put myself in the other person's shoes? How can I see it through their lens? What matters to them? How can I bring them more value? And the more you challenge yourself to become the best version of yourself, the less notes you'll get more yeses?

30:57

Okay? This leads me to outcomes, being a performance driven person, myself, and obviously, your performance driven person? How do you let go of outcomes? Because I feel like outcomes drive a lot of our fears, or are counting on whether something is going to turn out really well? Or not turn out? Like, what what's your strategy for that?

31:21

I don't know that I let go of outcomes, right. So when I knew I wanted a book deal, and I was pitching it and being told no, I still focused on the actual book, right? So I actually I do focus on outcomes. And, and I, I visualize them happening, you know, in the path to get there might not be the way that I plan. And I'm okay with that. I understand that. And I let that go. But I typically don't let go, what the outcome is, if I'm locked into doing something, I'm going to do it.

31:51

But I guess the twist of that is you how do you not let a potential outcome stop you from doing something? It's like, I want to write this book. But what if no publisher wants to sell it? Or I'm going to write this book? And what if it doesn't work out? How do you not how do you prevent the outcome from stopping you from doing something? Well, then

32:13

you don't want it bad enough, right? Because if I want something, nothing will stop me. I

32:18

that's a great answer. So you're basically saying that, like if you want something badly enough, you're not going to give up? And you're going to keep going? Of course, so maybe we have to reassess how badly we want something if that's really our why. Because if you're willing to walk away, then you don't want it that bad lay. Exactly. Yeah. I I agree with you in terms of figuring out your passions. A lot of us in this age range have like the midlife itchy. What is your suggestion or tools for figuring out like, if we don't have a business idea, and we're not 100%? sure about what's next? Do you have any ideas or advice in terms of how we can figure out what that is? I know that when COVID hit, you were like, Oh shit, like, what am I gonna do now? Can you tell us about how you came up with your pivot and your plan B?

33:16

Yeah, my speaking business disappeared overnight. And all of my revenue for the most part didn't as well. And so the first thing I did was I thought to myself, when am I my most creative and for me, that's when I'm working out. But everybody should identify when do your best ideas come to you because I needed a great idea. So I got on my peloton bike and I just started working out. And immediately in my mind went to go look at your DNS and see what people ask you for. Because whatever people are asking you for is a potential business opportunity that you can package up and charge for it. So I went to my DMS and I looked through for about 10 or 15 minutes, and it was really clear. People ask me a lot. Do you consult businesses? Do you ever coach, you know, do executive coaching? Would you ever work with me one on one? And so I said, Okay, I'm gonna put a post up and test the marketplace. And I put a post up and said, You asked, I answered, you've been looking for my consulting and coaching, I'm launching my first ever program now limited spots available, DM me if you want it, and that program sold out, and I definitely charge far too little. But that's the only way you're going to figure things out is you know, by jumping in and taking chances. So I I charge too little, and I gave too much at first, but I ended up getting a lot of great testimonials and reviews and recommendations for my work, which helped me to market my business to move forward, you know, during that year, and it definitely was not easy. And it wasn't it wasn't a dream for me. I'd much rather be on a stage giving a keynote than you know, doing one on one coaching. However, it was able to, you know, help create a bridge plan for me to get through a really difficult time.

34:56

I love that and I remember reading that you basically said I have to ask myself, what can I? What problem can I solve from my house for other people that they will pay for?

35:09

Absolutely. But if that's all work, you know, any business really is they're solving your problem somehow, for someone and you're charging them for it.

35:16

I know. And I love that because you can, I mean, it could be anything, it could be like a podcast, or knitting, you know, knitting or crocheting assistance, or, you know, it could honestly be anything, as long as you're solving a problem. And I think so many women our age, have ideas and have passions, but they don't know exactly how to turn it into a business. And I think sort of by asking that question, you could potentially create a business from it, if you know that you're solving a problem that a lot of people have.

35:51

Exactly and just start looking at what are the things that people ask you a lot for, right? And then you'll start noticing that's the value that you can add? And how can you potentially put that into into the format of a business totally, like,

36:03

if there's a like, I have some friends who are really good at designing or another friend who's really good at closet design. And I keep saying to her, like, start your closet business, everybody's asking you to like reorganize their closets. And it's like it's getting gathering all that data. And then like you said, like taking messy action, throwing shit at the wall and just running for it, it's hard.

36:26

It isn't hard, you know, you just have to make the decision to do it. And one of you know, a great way to do that when you feel stuck. When I I wanted to write my second book. But it's a lot of work. And I just was not looking forward to that element. So I decided, you know what, I'm going to reverse engineer this and put a lot of pressure on myself that will make me move. So I posted online, I'm launching my second book, I wasn't I needed to make myself do it. That people would message me asking me, what's the book about? When's that coming out? And they did. And so immediately I was I held myself accountable. And that's really you know, when you need that push, you need to hold yourself accountable.

37:04

That's such a great idea. No, I that's sort of what happened. When I started the podcast, I started the Instagram and I like texted 25 friends, I'm like, I have a podcast and an Instagram. And like once it was out there, like I had to have more than one episode. And I was like, Oh, shit, I have to move. So I totally agree with you in terms of accountability. And I think another interesting aspect of this whole sort of midlife remix, whether it's your career or your personal identity, is this idea of openness and transparency. And I think that you have a tremendous ability in your first book that I read, to share your vulnerabilities and share what happened, what was hard, how you solved it, how do you feel that vulnerabilities and sharing that kind of, or embracing the discomfort and vulnerability helps us in this growth process.

38:00

I mean, it's critical, right? Because if you're not willing to be vulnerable, no one's ever gonna really know the real you. And so you know, showing up as the real you flaws, and all will be the most powerful version of yourself you will ever meet. And for me, I had this amazing experience of working side by side with a woman who used to pretend she was perfect. And I couldn't stand it. It made me sick to my stomach and I truly made me sick to my stomach, it was so painful to be around, it was very uncomfortable. And that being around that person made it so crystal clear to me that I never wanted to be that person. And and that really helped me to lean into my vulnerabilities.

38:43

And do you think that coming through on social media and your Instagram with your vulnerabilities or LinkedIn where you're like, I got fired? There, it creates a resonance and a relatability factor too, because you're like, wait, she's amazing, and what she's doing, but like, it wasn't 100% easy. It didn't get handed to her. She's like, busting her ass and sharing like what's gone wrong?

39:10

Yeah, I mean, deaf people definitely will connect and relate to you more when you're real than if you're pretending to be some way that you really are.

39:18

Right, and in terms of confidence is a muscle. What do you mean by that? And what can we do to work out our confidence muscle?

39:28

Yeah, I, you know, I really liken it to, you know, we can say weight loss or workout or creating muscle, but any situation like that everyone's really clear on right, like you have to weigh yourself the first day and see how much you weigh. And then you have to put a food plan together and you need to put a workout plan together. And you need to give yourself you know, four weeks with a specific goal to lose five pounds and you know, all of these steps that you're going to go ahead and deploy so that you can be successful in achieving your goal of losing five pounds, let's say building confidence is no difference. It needs to be managed the same way you want to weigh yourself that first day and say, Where is my competence baseline? Where am I starting from, I need to know where I'm starting from like and know where I'm going and what my goal is, right. So you say, I'm at a zero right now, or I'm at a five, but you know, one on a 10, whatever it is, and you write it down, and you put a plan together to help yourself achieve your goal of increasing your competence, X amount, by a 30 day period. And you track the things that you do, you know, every day, stepping into fear every day, making the decision to put yourself first every day deciding I will no longer apologize. Instead, I'll thank people for their patience, and thank them for their understanding, you know, taking these little steps in a 30 day period, making a commitment and being incredibly intentional about it, checking in daily with yourself, you know, being self aware and staying committed to that goal, you can build your confidence over a one month period of time.

40:56

And you also talk about the social proof factor in terms of building your confidence. If you're doing something and putting it out there and it's working, that is going to be contributing to your confidence. So you post you make a post, or you get a bunch of DMS Oh my gosh. Heather, I love this. This is great asking you questions, that social proof is building your confidence muscle,

41:18

correct? Absolutely. Yeah. And it builds momentum, right, you start picking up momentum, and then you start even moving faster and taking bigger leaps and going for more.

41:28

I love that. And in terms of like, how you think about women supporting women or like a social support system, how does that play into your confidence platform?

41:41

Well, for me, because when I was in corporate America, I had women that wanted me to fail, they were trying to stab me in the back. And you know that it gave great contrast for where I am now in my life. And that, you know, that day that woman fired me, I actually fired my villain. And when you get a negative person who really is not in your corner out of your life, you create space for positive, amazing people to show up. And that's really that's been what's happened for me. And that part. I never thought that coming. I had no idea. But it's been unreal how many amazing women have shown up in my life that I never knew before any of this happened to encourage me to support me to be my champion. And they they're all still here now. And it's been a great experience. So that's why it's critical to fire your villains.

42:33

I love everything you just said. I agree. When I started this podcast, I was like, what's gonna happen? Wait, now my doorbell is ringing Hold on. Of course I have a teenager at home doing zoom US history. No. Grade US history. And it's probably Postmates I have to wait for it to stop. Oh my god, stop ringing. Okay. Here we go. Wait, what was I saying? I'm talking about women supporting women. Oh, yeah. So when I started this podcast, I was like, Who's gonna listen to my podcast, where what's gonna happen? Am I gonna have 10 friends and my mom. And then you realize that once you once you show up for yourself, and you put yourself out there, so many people come to support you. I have so many new Instagram friends or people who are supporting my podcast listening to my podcast. It's absolutely amazing. And there's a tremendous sense of reciprocity and connection. It's like, you're super involved in my platform, I'm going to be super involved in your platform, and you create these kind of like, new mid life friend connections, it feels like old camp France.

43:52

Yeah, it's definitely amazing how many great people are out there. And as soon as you start showing up, they'll start showing up for you.

43:59

And I think so many people, including myself are so worried about the trolls, or the people who are gonna say negative things. But I feel like when you really know what your why is, and you're doing something that's super aligned, you're going to get more positive than you're going to get negative. Oh, yeah, absolutely. Then I think goals are far and few between. Yeah, I think that the fear of that should sort of be more diminished. Because I think the positive like even from your experience, in my experience, like totally outweighs the negative. Now in terms of your new book, which we're all really excited about overcome your villains. Tell us what and why this title obviously, I know it relates to being fired by your bully, but tell us more. Well,

44:47

it's not just about that, right. So in order for me to overcome my ultimate villain, which lies between my own ears, I had to overcome the villains that were around me first, right? That was a big of the process. So yes, that woman was a part of it. But really, at the end of the day, you know, the only person that can ever really sabotage any of us is ourselves and present. So my new book is really it's a, it's a three step process. It's proven, it has worked every single time, this three step process to overcoming any adversity in life. And it's really around, you know, the the foundation of mastering your beliefs, actions that you take, and the knowledge that you access to overcome any adversity.

45:30

So can you tell us about those three steps?

45:34

Yeah, so it's really, you know, I can I just give you an example, my son is at Camp right now in another state, and I got a phone call the other night, and he was in the emergency room, I couldn't reach in, he didn't have a phone. And immediately My mind went to negativity, and what's the worst case scenario and feeling self, you know, I can't help and I'm helpless. And, and I had to pump the brakes and say to myself, employ the process, Heather. And so the first step is, you know, addressing that belief, and I looked at the belief that I had, that he's laying some possible but alone, you know, barely breathing. And Is that real? And I realized, no, that's not real. Right. What I've been told is that he's on his way to the emergency room, I'm sure somebody with him. I don't know who but I'm sure someone from campus and right. So I had to start looking at that belief that I was holding, and taking it apart to dismantle it to really look at what back Do I have and focus just on the back, and not the story that I that I created, that wasn't real. The next thing I need to do is take action. And so I started emailing the camp, calling the camp calling every number I could find at the camp, until finally, of course, someone called me back, right? So take action to help bridge the gap on whatever adversity that you're facing. And there's all these action steps you can take. And then the next thing I did is I needed knowledge. So I thought, who is the right person to go to for knowledge on this, and I have a friend who has a child who has broken an arm before. And I called her immediately and I said, talk me through the process, what is happening right now because I can't get ahold of him. I don't know what's happening. You tell me when you took your child to the emergency room? What was it like, and she walked me through exactly what was happening. And she was explaining to me, he's probably getting an X ray right now. He's just sitting there with someone from Camp. And the more I could understand what was happening, the more I was able to calm myself down, get centered again, and attack the situation.

47:27

I love that because there's so many things that we create in our own head. And I always try to remind myself that anything is possible, but not probable. And that's how I try to convince myself and try to get myself out of that crazy rabbit hole of, you know, catastrophic events that are going on and on. I think for me, in this process, I feel like and for a lot of us villains, is self doubt. One of my biggest villains is self doubt, and wanting to be perfect and wanting everything that I do to be perfect. How do you in your book that's coming out that obviously I haven't read yet? How do you? What's your advice for working with self doubt if that is your biggest villain in your life at the time?

48:17

I mean, there's so many different things that you can do, right? So when people have self doubt, number one, I'm going to ask the first thing I'm gonna ask is, who are you surrounding yourself with? Typically, that's, that's going to be the big problem. There's someone negative in your life that was putting you down that helped put these ideas in there. Yes, you're running with them. But it's coming. It came from a source outside of you initially, maybe it's you're comparing yourself to a friend that really isn't your friend that you don't feel great around, right? So the first thing I'm going to ask is, who are you surrounding yourself with on the daily, the next thing I'm going to ask is, what are you doing during your day, meaning, if you're someone who loves art and painting, but you're finding yourself as a CPA every day, you're not going to be feeling good about yourself, of course, you're going to doubt yourself, you're not listening to your intuition. You need to start moving towards a career and a life that's embracing the things that you love to do, not what other people tell you, you should do. So I'm going to say tune into your own voice. Listen to yourself above and over everyone else, fire the villains that are around you. And once you make those decisions and take those action steps, now you can start addressing what is the conversation and the tape that you're running in your mind. And you can start rewriting it. And you can start surrounding yourself with different podcasts and different people who are uplifting and encouraging you. And you can start ending that self doubt.

49:33

That's great. And that leads me into self talk. I know you talk about how you used to be self deprecating, you'd be like, I'm just the dumb blonde. And I think it kind of relates to myself and some listeners were like, for so many years, I was like, people would be like, what do you do? I'm like, I'm just a mom. And then in the back of my head, I wanted to be like yeah, and I do this and I sit on these boards and I also have a PhD and but you can get into that whole justification thing. And but that whole idea of I'm a dumb blonde or I'm just a mom, what do we do with that negative self talk? Like, how do we just put an end to that?

50:12

You got to fire it in that situation. That's your villain, right? So, for me, once it was pointed out to me that I was talking so negatively about myself, and I thought it was funny or, you know, connecting with others. And when when someone told me no, actually, what you're doing is you're teaching people to call you dumb, because you're calling yourself dumb. And when I heard that verbalize to me, I thought, wow, you know, that's really powerful. From now on, I will only speak about myself the way that I want others to speak about me when I'm not in the room. And when you start doing that, it's a powerful shift. And people will listen to you, right? You're teaching people how to treat you. So they're going to start showing up and saying, you know, if you if you're calling yourself dumb, and then they're calling you dumb, really negative situation. But if you start saying, you know what, I'm, I'm incredibly intelligent, and I'm handling this situation to the best of my abilities. And I'm really excited to take this on. They walk away saying, Wow, that woman's impressive,

51:09

right? And so what would your advice be for those of us, including myself, who have for the past 16 years been saying, I'm just a mom?

51:18

Well, you need to stop saying that, to hold yourself accountable. And you need to tap somebody in your inner circle and say, I need your help with this. This has been a bad habit of mine. And I'm breaking it. I'm making a commitment. I'm writing the commitment down, I'm giving myself an end date. I am not going to do this any longer as of such and such date. And here's what I'm going to say instead. And I'm going to practice you can you could just say if someone says what do you do? I'm a mom start there is this thing. I'm just a mom, right? Even that's more more powerful,

51:47

right? No, I agree with you. And it's something that I've struggled with a lot. Now, in terms of you the takeaways from your platform and your book, there are two things that you said there are a lot of things that you said that really resonated with me, but the two biggest ones for me were you're either chipping away or building your confidence. Can you comment on that?

52:11

Yeah, I mean, when you break things down to the most simplistic form possible in any moment, you're either creating confidence in yourself, or you're chipping away at it. And so what that means is it makes the decision making process much easier when you look at it. So simplistically, right? So say to yourself, but your friends call you and they want to go out Friday night, but you're exhausted and you know you're on no sleep. And that sounds terrible. If you say, Okay, I'll go because you feel bad for other people, you are chipping away at your confidence in that moment. Conversely, if you say thank you so much for reaching out, I so appreciate it. However, I am beyond exhausted and not going to be able to make it and I appreciate you understanding, boom, you're creating confidence in yourself, you're putting yourself and your needs first. So you know, begin to look at decisions as that simplistic choice. Is this going to help me create confidence? Or is this going to chip away at my confidence?

53:06

It's so simple, but so true. And I don't even think many of us think about it on that simplistic of a level. But if we can literally ask ourselves that question, Is this building my confidence or taking away my confidence? I feel like we can eliminate a lot of bullshit in our lives. Yeah, absolutely. It's amazing. Now the other thing that you say in terms of takeaways is taking action daily will make you confident. What do you mean by that?

53:34

I mean, one of the biggest problems, especially with women is a lack of taking action, right, and you know, sexting stuff, or feeling afraid and letting fear paralyze you and stop you. The key to overcome it is to take action, messy action, small action, any action. And so you know, I really challenge people to, and I write down every day I write down the action steps I take. And then the more you do that, the more momentum you build, and the stronger you get. And the more you realize, oh, wow, there was no bad outcome from that. And hey, that turned out pretty well, yesterday. And I'm creating opportunities by taking action and reaching out to people. And the more and again, for me, this goes back to business, you know, that really comes from my sales background, the more action that you take, the more opportunity you create in business. And so knowing that I applied the same thing to fear and confidence building that the more you become accustomed to taking action, the more you're willing to continue taking action. And most of times just getting that ball rolling for people to get them started, then then they'll see you know, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.

54:41

Yeah, it's like how long have we sat on sending that one email? And then we send it and there's sort of this sense of relief. And you may get a yes, you may get a no but then it's like, at least you sent it you can check that box. I mean, there have been so many things where I've been like sitting around like wondering about it. I have to say my husband is a businessman and entrepreneur and he's much better at like compartmentalizing it. He's like, Who gives a shit if you got to know.

55:10

Like, all the other ways you can look at it is you could say to yourself, I can't be so presumptuous to make a decision for someone else. In fact, I wouldn't want someone to presume for me I want them to give me the offer an opportunity and then I can decide for myself, so I like to look at it that way. It's not my job to decide for someone else that they're gonna say yes or no to this. That's their job. It is my job to get this opportunity in front of them.

55:34

That's a great way of looking at it. I love that. Okay, so before we wrap up, it's this leads me into what we're calling fun shit about Heather. my midlife rapid fire questions. You're ready? Yes. What's next on the bucket list?

55:49

My book my new book, overcome your villains launching this book is this is like my biggest thing for this year. I'm so excited for it.

55:58

It's being published by HarperCollins You can preorder it now.

56:03

Yes. And if you preorder it now and go to the website overcome your villains calm you get my $500 bonus gift offer which includes my $299 competence video course my 30 day accountability email program my overcome your villains workbook. I mean, it's got some crazy stuff in there. My

56:20

God, we could be busy all summer with projects. Okay, anything that you've learned that's now on your bucket list after quarantine.

56:33

Oh, virtual school is awful for my child. I just, I never want to have him in virtual school again. I'm over it. Oh,

56:41

I know. I am over to secret pleasure or not. So secret pleasure.

56:46

Oh my gosh, I loved watching the Kardashians. I was so sad that it went off the TV. Did you watch all the seasons of it? I don't think I watched all of them. But I definitely watched the last one.

56:57

Did you have a favorite? favorite character? And this? Yeah, the Chloe is definitely my favorite. Got it. Okay. favorite beauty treatment? lasers. Oh my gosh, those are the best. Really? What kind of lasers? Do you do co2? And what does that do for you? I've never done I feel like I've done everything. But I haven't done co2. Yeah, it just gets rid of the outer layers of your skin. So it just you know, gets rid of some of the wrinkles? And how often do you do that?

57:27

Um, I did it once in the past year. I mean, I definitely think I'll do it again, for sure.

57:33

Wow. And how do you I talk about this a lot in my podcast. I mean, I'm definitely one of those people is like I wear makeup, I get filler, I do Botox, all of those things. and maintaining my external self is really important to me. And in terms of how I feel about myself and how I operate in the world, but everyone's version of what's important to them is different for you personally, how does the sort of an external taking care of yourself play into you personally and professionally?

58:06

Yeah, I, I feel the same way. There's a lot of people who don't care about external and that's fine for them, right, that works for them. But for me, you know, I definitely when you take stages, and people photograph you and they post those things online, I do not like when I don't look better, right? So for me, I know that that's just part of my job. And even on zoom, you know, people will I'll be on zooms with people and they'll take screenshots and share it. So yeah, I really do put an interest and effort in taking care of not only how you know who I am on the inside, but who I am on the outside too, because when I show up as that best version of myself, I feel better. And then it just in case people are posting, I don't feel so bad when I see those pictures.

58:54

That's that's how I feel about it too. But it's such an interesting thing with women because it's sort of like there's so much judgment. And it's sort of like how do you figure out how does everyone figure out how to stay in their own lane there's going to be people who want to do all of these external quote fixes and there are going to be some people who don't

59:13

but that's up to them like I don't have I mean, that's none of my business right? I don't care I agree. If you want to look good or if you don't, I'm I'm here to applaud you and cheer you on from from afar and if somebody wants to get upset because I wear makeup or had my hair done, that's really none of their business and so it doesn't you know, right off my back I really don't

59:35

care. I don't know please I'm in like full makeup a carpool. I'm like, I'm too old.

59:41

Not Not me. I definitely was not that way I drop off. I look like a different person that I

59:47

bring sunglasses maybe. What about what whoo things have you done that you want that what woo things have you done that you love or things that you haven't done? You want to do?

1:00:00

Whoo. You know, I did hypnosis and it was transformational. For me. It was so powerful. It was just, I can't say enough good things about what hypnosis was like, for me, it was really, really, it allowed me to go back to a time in my life when I went through a horrible situation, and relive that experience as if I was watching it on a TV screen. So it created distance for me from a memory, which was something I had never thought to do. And it really gave me a lot of power back around a very difficult time in my life.

1:00:32

And how many times did you have to do it?

1:00:35

I went to I love this guide still go to him now, but

1:00:38

he moved away. I probably went in for a few months and probably three months. Wow. And does he still do it on zoom? Because we might have to know who it is Heather?

1:00:48

Oh, his name's Todd Goodwin. I always promote him. Yeah. Check them out. I'm sure he does. Zoom. I'm sure he does.

1:00:55

That's amazing. I did hypnosis for when I took the GR E's for graduate school, I was having like a panic attack. Because when I took the LSAT in high school, it was written like a written exam with a pencil number two pencil and you fill in the bubbles. But when I took the jury, I think I was like the first year that it was on a computer. So being sort of like a high anxiety person. I like almost flipped my noodles. When I figured out I had to like do reading comprehension passages and math on the computer. But I have to say it really worked. I don't know how or why but it did for sure. Favorite TV show, I guess the Kardashians or something that you're watching now.

1:01:38

I'm trying not to watch as much TV because during the pandemic when we were stuck at home, I felt like I watched everything under the sun on Netflix. Do you have a favorite?

1:01:46

Oh, gosh,

1:01:49

I've loved my son. And I watched them Michael Jordan special.

1:01:54

Yeah, that was so great. No, I love that. What was the last thing you ordered from Amazon? Oh,

1:01:59

my gosh, we order everything from Amazon every day. It's just ordered. I just ordered my son zip up jacket. Because when I he's still at camp for two more weeks with a broken arm. And it's so hard for him to put things on. So I just thought as EPUB would be a little bit easier than an over the head sweatshirt. So hopefully that arrives soon.

1:02:18

Oh my gosh, my daughter broke her shoulder last year. So I so remember that. It's like the sling and the waterproof bag for the shower. I'm

1:02:27

so sad. I hate seeing kids suffered so hard. It's so interesting. I interviewed Jesse Itzler for my podcast. And one of the things that he said to me, I was talking to him this is right before the pandemic I was talking to him about my son was going away to camp and it was one of the first times he'd be gone for me. And he was saying to me, you want him to have challenges. Now you want him to face challenges now. So when he's grown up as an adult, he's ready to take on bigger challenges. And then now this situation that I'm living in, you know, cut to now where my son has a broken arm, I'm here. I mean, to me, this was you know, terrible. And I fly out to see my son and my son was handling it so much better than I ever imagined. Because of all the other adversities he's had in his life. This one was up, Mom, it's okay. I'll figure it out. Don't worry only two more weeks. And I posted about it. It was funny. Just the third comment that I told you. And it's so true, right? And sometimes men have an easier or see it more clearly than so

1:03:29

much easier. Yeah, my husband can compartmentalize everything. He's like, there's nothing we can do about it. We're living this year, and now and I'm like spinning in 87 different directions. Yeah, it's a male, female thing, or if I'm just crazy. Or it's a combination of both for sure. Okay, one of my other questions was about intuition. I was gonna ask you, is intuition natural for you? Or did you have to work on it? But we mentioned this earlier, that intuition was pretty natural for you. Right?

1:04:03

It was, but for a long time, I tuned it out. And the more you tune out your intuition, the more you have to work to tune it back up again, right, it doesn't just magically appear when you want it. So for a long time, when I was in corporate America specifically, I would be told don't wear your hair down. Don't wear a dress that you're you need to look more professional, you should wear glasses, you should do that. And so for a while, I really started not listening to myself listening to people externally telling me how I should show up. And as I did that, I silence my intuition. I silence my inner voice and so much so you know that it became a real problem for me and I had to intentionally say, I'm going to start journaling. I'm going to really focus on turning this up. And you know, one of the best ways that I found to do that is not only to journal so that you can actually have it documented and written down, but also to say Oh, Here's my thoughts. Here's, you know what I'm thinking now I need to act on these things.

1:05:05

I love that. Yeah. Because I feel like I have a very strong sense of intuition. But then the times that I don't listen to it, I'm like, Fuck, why did you do that? Why did you do that? Why did you let that slide? It's so hard.

1:05:21

Yeah, but I think it's like anything, right? It's just a discipline and a practice that you start for yourself. And the more you get in the habit of it, the more it'll become natural.

1:05:29

Totally. What's the smallest thing we can do today to start our shift towards self recreation and midlife.

1:05:36

Take action. Just get the action right done will always be better than perfect and just make the commitment. hold yourself accountable. Find someone in your life that you can lean on that will help encourage you and make the commitment write it down. Give yourself a goal. Give yourself a deadline and do it today.

1:05:54

Love it. Okay, midlife birthdays? Are you one of those people who like let's pretend it's on my birthday or are you Let's sell it?

1:06:02

No, I love birthdays that for me for everybody else. Yeah, no, for sure. It's super fun. Love it.

1:06:08

Okay, what would your bottom line advice be for finding the sweet spot in the second half of life?

1:06:15

Listen to your voice and intuition over everything else. tune out everybody else and move forward with your plans

1:06:22

and overcome your villains. Always overcome your. Okay, now there we have our shit shoveled for today. I hope you have loved Heather's golden shovel life nuggets as much as I have. I have loved digging deep with you Heather and if listeners want to find more Heather where can they find you?

1:06:44

You can find my overcome your villain that overcome your billings.com I'm at Heather Monahan on all social and my my podcast is called creating confidence with Heather Monahan.

1:06:55

Did we do your Instagram at Heather money and got it okay. Think about what shit we can start doing today. One small step as Heather says messy action. I want to thank Heather for highlighting the tools and inspiration that helped us to continue to recreate ourselves and our mid life personal and professional lives and hence this podcast. Thank you Heather Monahan. Thanks for having me. Thank you so much.