Episode 25 transcript

00:01

Okay, I'm going to record but be edited, so don't worry. Okay being recorded.

00:11

We can edit everything. Why? Okay, feel like I'm crooked. Hold on. I'm probably crooked. No, let's hold on.

00:19

My partners are like, on fire with the texting. I'm like really strong. Oh, yeah. It's like a thread that I you know, I haven't on silent because I have to respond to every single thing. I don't want to hear it. I have air conditioning on in here. Okay. menopausal moment with my coffee.

00:40

And I'm waiting for my daughter to start texting me everything that I did wrong.

00:46

Let me see is this quick time recording?

00:50

Okay, I think we're good.

00:53

Okay. Whoo. We made it. Is that your tech support? Yeah, he's walking out the door. My husband he's like going to take take my daughter to her camp counselor job. Oh, nice. How old are your kids?

01:09

My son is going to be 17.

01:13

And my daughter is going to be 15 Oh, wow. Yeah, he's my favorite child. Now. Ma. Yeah. Give yourself a minute. I know. I know. My son at 17 was a nightmare really soon until pretty recently wasn't.

01:29

He's almost 24 though. So it's a little difficult to break. She like understands like how to manipulate the system. Is he younger? Or how old is this? 17 year old. He's a 17 year old. That's interesting. 14 and a half year old daughter that's like, I love you. I hate you. I'm giving you a run for your money. Yeah, my son has, cuz he was annoying too when he was 14. But he figured out like, Okay, if I talked to her, like, five to seven minutes a day about like, in depth topics, then I've covered myself for 24 to 48 hours. Correct? Yeah. And I get a lot of I get a lot of lovey emojis and a lot of appreciation and gratitude text. But he's almost 24 Yeah, let me tell you it was a lot of work.

02:15

And not everybody who might be overhearing this would agree. But

02:19

no one else is hearing this except for us and the editor when it gets edited. That's okay. You can say that. So we I have this like, awkward moment at the beginning where I let just like read your little bio. Okay, um, because otherwise I have to memorize it and memorizing in age 46 doesn't work out. Well. Now. Why? I don't know. I just feel like yeah, working memory. Forget it. Why would you do that? I don't know. So we're gonna start. Basically I did the I did most of it focusing on lumineux just because I just got episode with Shiva. ghofrani. Right, right. Pause. Right. I felt like why not give people like actual shit they can do? Yeah, totally.

03:04

Okay, hi, good peeps. This is the next episode of the flexible neurotic podcast. I'm Dr. Sarah Milken, the flexible neurotic. Today I have a very special guest. She is my third gynecologist. Clearly, vaginas, menopause and sexual health are big topics in the second half of life. This guest is an internationally recognized obstetrician, gynecologist, author, speaker, and an advocate for integrative women's health. She has most recently co founded lemon new a first of its kind Women's Health and Wellness Center that specializes in improving your sex life and vaginal health. You know how we go to the med spas or skins? You know how we go to the med spas or skincare spas. This is a vagina and sexual health spa. Yes. PRP and radio frequency for your vagina rejuvenation. They also offer other services like sex therapy and weekly community sexual health Chad's. Her name is Dr. Suzanne Gilbert lens. Hi. Hello. This is so early in the morning.

04:17

I know we haven't even like finished our coffee yet. I know I've been up to but it's like different than actually like having to put yourself together brush your hair. Oh yeah, I understand. Yeah, I'm so happy you're here we have done two other vagina episodes with two other gynecologists. This one is different in that Dr. Suzanne Gilbert lens is also the Chief Medical Officer of lemon new a Los Angeles based sexual health Med Spa sit tight. We're going to hear how the sexual health med spas offering two huge solutions to some of our perimenopausal menopausal and just vaginas in need of a tune up in the second half of life. We might get

05:00

little graphic, I'm clearly going to dig deep with my golden shovel to get through all of the components of how we can begin to solve some of our vagina libido and sex health issues at 8am. So here we go. Hi, Dr. Suzanne. Good morning. Hello, my name. So the intention of this episode is we're going to contribute in talking about the importance of sexual health and the services that lead Manu offers to solve these issues. You and I will especially you we're going to help to normalize the conversation. Yeah, about our sexual and vaginal health from one of shame to one of ownership. I know that I remember talking to Sherry Ross. And she was also saying that, that we really have this need to normalize it because a lot of women when they come in, you can tell us they don't. Right away talk about or Oh, no, no.

05:58

Hell no. And they don't A lot of times, they don't bring it up at all. And in fact, the data is out there. And you know, I don't want to be I mean, I tend to love the science as Yeah, give us the science. I love it. I'm a fucking nerd do it there. There's all sorts of data out there. I mean, okay, well, there's two streams of consciousness or content here. One is that there's, there's not enough data actually, there's not enough study in this area. And I think that's just a reflection of our cultural discomfort with specifically female sexuality. Like women, and being sexual beings is really

06:37

threatening, scary, weird, shameful, like, you name it. And, and that could be a whole podcast in and of itself. So, you know, you get to be the age of your audience, me and you ish. Yeah.

06:52

It's not gonna magically poof, disappear. I mean, that that's now you've got decades of built up layers of discomfort, shame, not talking about it. Silence. Fear misconceptions. So in the studies that we do have, we noticed that, first of all, a large number of women have sexual complaints and questions throughout their lifespan. This is not something that crops up at 45. Right, women in their 20s and 30s have issues and questions as well. And you know, less than half of these women are going to have these questions addressed, they're not bringing them up. Then you look at how long it takes for these things to either come up or get dealt with many, many, many years. It's sort of similar to endometriosis Step right up to 10 years, seven to 10 years before this stuff gets dealt with. This is across the board in sort of the third rail, female sexual health stuff. urinary incontinence, sexual health, menopause, very similar data doesn't get brought up. The doctors don't bring it up. For a number of reasons not we do really don't get good training in this at all. I don't think I had any training in sexual health, residency and the same thing, just learning I've sought train, I've thought training, you know, there's great there's specifically for sexual health. And this is a great resource for your listeners, the International Society for the study of women's sexual health, or as we like to call it ish wish.

08:17

It's like a Dr. Seuss character.

08:19

Great name. I have a so so we're out there, we're out there. And if people want to find the physician, locator or resources, that's a great a great place to look, women need to know that there are places to get help. So number one, we're not trained in it. Number two, we're also part of this culture and we have our own hangups, if you think your doctor is coming to this as like a tabula rasa objective, that's some bullshit.

08:46

Like, you know, we got to get out and a lot of times we don't even we lack awareness and introspection.

08:51

Doctors are doing the best they can. I don't want to disrespect my colleagues. But there's introspection is not one of the major qualities that they're they're screening for to get you into medical school. Okay, maybe it's changed. Now. The last thing is, we if we have five minutes scheduled, wait, you know, we don't want necessarily want to open the Pandora's box. Yeah. Like, how do you get horny? How do you get a sex drive, like, Oh, I'm tired. My kids are annoying, but we're not even bringing it up. So if you guys bring it up, that that's helpful. Um, but it takes a lot. It takes some courage to bring it up. And I think you know, most, most of your listeners will find that their, their dogs and their practitioners do want to have a conversation. They may not know what the answer is, but I think just opening the conversation is the most important thing. So that's sort of the context and the framework for actually how I got more involved in this. I felt like this was an area that people just were not getting addressed. And I knew that people had questions. I'm an I'm a woman. I had questions. I know I was gonna say like you're a woman in this sort of, you know, stage of life also.

10:00

Yeah, you're going through your own stuff. So you'd exactly like to exactly experience all of this. Exactly. You know what the questions are in the back of your own mind. I think it's interesting, because when I first did the first episode on my like vagina series was Sherry Ross, I can't tell you how many dams I got from people who were like, thank you so much for talking about this. Nobody is talking about why my vagina feels like it's ripping open, or why burning or all of these things are things that we can do about that, or they get home, they get dismissed, they get told Oh, it's just a part of aging. It's just a part of being a woman. What use and lube? What? Oh, that's not an answer. Yes, actually not an answer. And you I mean, you'd be surprised how often this is the response that people get. It's, it's really, it's really sad. And it's just so yeah, anytime we talk about these things that are taboo, there's going to be somebody that, that that's going to come at us and have have some gratitude and some relief, because, you know, again, it's so it's so normalizing, especially because I'm going Wait, sounds like I have these issues, too. Right? I'm asking you as an expert, like, Can you help us figure this out? So I'm like, if you don't want to ask the questions, all ask the questions for you. I'll put my throw myself under the bus and my poor husband. He's like, Oh, my God, what are you even talking about? What's happening? But it's only gonna help him? I know, totally. I'm like, well, maybe I'll increase my libido a little bit. So tell us how lemon news started. And what does it mean? Well, it means the kitty.

11:47

In French crash, that's classy, but cute. Yeah, it'll double entendre. My partner who really is the original founder and found me is a wonderful young woman named Leslie busick. And she in her 20s was having issues, all sorts of issues, and got completely blown off completely blown up, I was just part of being a woman. And she was like, That can't be. And she started, you know, down the Google rabbit hole, like, well, what was she supposed to do? And she was like, Why are there no good answers for me? So she was like, well, then I'm gonna fix this. Yeah, when you shoot everything good, and you're fine. And that's normal for the 48th time, you're like, Okay, there has to be someone who knows something in this world, right? The thing about this, and I think this is really, really important to remember. And I tell my patients this all the time, like, you know, yes, I am an authority I have, you know, 21 years in practice, and this many degrees and blah, blah, blah, but I'm never going to be the authority on your body or your experience. You are the authority on your body and your experience, which does two things, it empowers you Yes, but it also puts some accountability and responsibility on you. So if you're working with somebody, and you should see your your physician, in my case, as your partner, you're working with someone who isn't really a good team member, you're gonna have to start to look elsewhere. Well, the problem is it like I said, if there aren't enough of us, what are you supposed to do? And so Leslie had this idea, both to normalize the conversation about sexuality and to democratize it, because the other thing is that a lot of the treatments that are out there are quite expensive. They're there. They're being they're being performed often by people who aren't experts in vaginas. You know, God bless my my colleagues in dermatology and cosmetic surgery, because they've pioneered a lot of the techniques that we're using. But honestly, you're gonna be better off with someone who actually yeah, we're gonna take care of that. Yeah, it's like I have I have issues and questions. I don't think I don't think it's appropriate. I wouldn't. I wouldn't let anybody do that to me, who, you know, that's not their area of expertise. I might not let you pop my pimple. Suzanne. I know what

14:01

to do. That

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isn't really my thing. Yeah. And that may sound weird coming from a gynecologist, but dermatology totally grosses me out. Ya know, everyone has totally different spheres of late 40s. So, so Leslie went to the doctor, she's like, I'm having these sexual issues and concerns. The doctor says, That's normal deal with it. She goes into the rabbit hole, she starts digging around, and then she comes up with this idea. Yeah. And it's it's also more of a 360 view. So you know, we're in early stages, which is why we have sort of a limited offering right now, but we do a lot of here's the other thing too, you know, especially women's sexuality is not, it's not an on off switch. So I get people coming in frequently, who are like, test my hormones test my testosterone. I don't have a libido anymore. And I'm like, hold on. Let's have a conversation because it's not like I'm going to give you testosterone

15:00

And now you're gonna be everything's perfect. Like, that's not really how it works. Not Not the least of the issues there that we don't even know what the testosterone level would be that would give you the libido you want. Like, I don't know what your testosterone was when your libido was where are you wanting to have sex twice a day or one? Right?

15:19

There's there's context, there's our is this partnered sex is this, you know, masturbation is this pain is this, you know, arousal, like what? So sexuality is complex, not impossible to deal with, but complex and you have to sort of pull it apart and make sure that you're addressing all of the needs. So that's where this idea came from really creating a holistic approach. So creating community honestly, Sarah has been one of the most important things that I've noticed in all of my endeavors to be honest. Yeah, no, I'm my own Instagram, my own podcast. Yeah. It's like you're creating a community for people to talk. normalize. Yeah, ask question.

16:03

The heartbeat. So when we do these events that we do, we bring in a couple of experts, and then we have people now we're able to do them in person. But in the beginning that we started this during the the height of the new surge here in Los Angeles, and you know, December in January, and we had bonkers bananas reception, people would have 100 people on a zoom call, you know, or zoom conference, like talking about whatever it was body positivity, how to have better orgasms. I mean, I think the pandemic also had a positive impact here, because everybody was at home, like had nothing to do captive audience. Right. So So that part of it and the educational part of it, the D stigmatizing part of it, the helping, you know, resource build, part of it has been really helpful. Having some physical things that we can actually do that are solutions. So for dryness for elasticity, the radio frequency device, builds collagen increases blood flow helps natural lubrication return. And then the OSHA which is a little controversial, that's, that's PRP. There's lots of medical literature on that in this sort of injury,

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pain, medicine, ortho and actually in men's sexual health. The data is not as robust in women's sexual health, but it's there. The idea is that we're actually taking a product from your own body. Okay, wait, wait, let's stop, right. I'm getting really I know, you're getting like all amped I haven't even had all my coffee yet. Okay, so women are, oh, I see your coffee. So if women are complaining about these issues, yeah. Um, there's what are they saying to you? Like, what do you think the three key issues are? And then I want to go through the two main services that you provide at LeMond, you will start with the shop. But first, tell me what women are saying. There, they have concerns about loss of interest. And that's more of a midlife, they just like don't care, not top of mind. So loss of interest, and that becomes distressing and depressing. It feels like a loss and a grief. You know, like, why is this part of my life going away? Do I have to say goodbye to this? And then there's the actual, like, physical discomfort that people have. So people have dryness and pain that they're concerned about and cannot be fixed? And dancers. Yeah. And the dryness, which I've come to learn in my many episodes on the vagina. Yeah. Also in in our last is is another name for inelasticity. So it's not necessarily it's like, it's not like dry skin. It's like the shit won't stretch. It's both Yeah.

18:39

Yes, yes. Yeah. So Oh, some people like don't realize that they're right, different sensations. Well, we're kind of all calling different things I hear a hear described a lot of different ways. So and a lot of times what I'm hearing is, is pain, actually, it's a pain. So as you're right, is the pain due to inelasticity, which absolutely becomes an issue as we get older, or is it due to dryness or is it due to both? And it depends. So that's one is actual, like physical pain, and then changes in sexual function and just not orgasm being or not, the orgasm doesn't feel the same, or it's not as good. Those are kind of the three broad categories that I hear people coming in worried about. Now, if so, when somebody comes to you or comes to lemon, you, they have tell us the steps. They have a consultation with a nurse practitioner. Yes, yes. Yeah. And we do a deep dive into what are your issues? What's happening? It's all the things you can't really do at your doctor's office, because like you said, You have five minutes to run up a mirror and do right breast exam. Exactly, exactly. So the process is actually we have a platform online, and there's a number of questions that you are asking that helps us assess what

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Your issues are we use a, some of it's based on a tool that's in the medical literature called the FSF II, which is the basically basically a measurement of sexual function. And this is, you know, so this is evidence based stuff. And then you get on the phone with a consultation with a trained nurse practitioners is a high level nurse, you know, lots of extra training, and then at training bias as well. And she can kind of go through what what's, what's the issue, what do we want to address and get your treatment plan together. And then here in Los Angeles, you can actually come in and have these two different treatments that we're offering. We also have referrals to pelvic floor physical therapy, and to sex therapists. And then, you know, the plan is we're going to be expanding into some hormone replacement that is specifically designed for sexual health, so not well, on menopausal stuff. But basically vaginal hormones and things like that. So it's really exciting, because I have to keep track of that. TBD. But we're doing our training right now. So very soon. Yeah, very soon. There are so many women, as you know, who are just dying for this information. So let's talk about vo tiva for a second. So if ativa is one of their procedures or treatments, I don't know. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, in lemon Lu. So tell us what it is, what it feels like, who it's for? And how do you know if you're a candidate for the motiva or the second one is called the O shot, which is what we're covering? Right? Right? Well, first of all, this is the difference between like going on Google or going on Groupon.

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Seriously, I'm finding your vagina.

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Go look at it. Now, you'll see it's there. And finding like finding the Med Spa with the best rate and you decided what you're getting treated. So this is a very important piece of this, you're you're getting medical expertise, who's going to guide you to the thing that will help the concern you have, that's, that's a very big difference, you actually have contact with a medical professional. So that's how we help you decide should you do votruba? Should you do the OSHA? Should you do none of these? You know, maybe this is not what your thing is, maybe it's an intimacy issue, maybe it's a trauma.

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Yeah. And it's, so it works, we're dealing with the whole person. And I really want to emphasize how important that is. Because, you know, when when women get treated only as consumers, that can be really problematic, that can create predatory practices. And we see a lot of that out there. It's the Wild West and women's health right now. Because it's been ignored. And that's not respectful, or it lacks integrity. And I'm not going to put my mind and my time in my name behind that. So I really want people to know that when they're involving themselves with lumineux, they're getting they're getting, like, a very appropriate care. So having said that, motiva, again, but thank you plastic surgeons, we borrowed this from them. I mean, we didn't personally This is the company created it. And there's, and there is a lot of medical literature on this. But basically, it's an energy device. People have used it, I'm sure people know somebody down on their face, like a radio frequency ultra. That's exactly better term. It's radio frequency, we apply the device back generally, it's a little bit warm. And what it does is it stimulates micro injury. This is really like, there's no, there shouldn't be any pain involved. You don't have a lot of downtime, you're not going to bleed or anything like that. But with this gentle energy source, it penetrates into the deeper layers of the tissue, and it will help produce more collagen. So you were talking about elasticity. That's what creates elasticity, the vagina can have a penis or a vibrator go in and can have a baby go out. Okay, that's a lot of density. So we start losing that as we age. And this brings that collagen production and elasticity back that's enormously important for sexual function and comfort. The other thing, it's always good to go inside and outside or just yeah, inside. You can do it we do inside down outside. So if anybody's ever had a vaginal ultrasound, it's Yeah, actually smaller than that. It's about five to 10 minutes long. I've had one I had it done. Totally chatted with my girlfriend, the nurse practitioner who is doing it catching up. I got the chat and sort of warm light. The chat we've added.

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Leslie, my founder likes to call it a hot stone massage for the vagina. I don't know it's some people don't like that idea. Awesome. I'm like, tomorrow. It's not it's not painful. It's not painful. It's just not I don't know. That's like a little bit. It's sort of like a vagina facial. It's like a little totally right. Okay, and we can do it on the outside.

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To which is totally cosmetic, by the way, but you know if you want it to look cute, we want it to look cute. And again, that helps with the vulva starts to kind of sad just like everything else. Yeah. And collagen production and blood flow blood flow super important, because that's part of where your natural lubrication comes from. The other thing that's a nice little perk is it does help with some incontinence. Oh, wow, you're in loss. Yeah. So if he's mild in contact, so if you're drunk jumping on a trampoline, and you feel like oh, yeah, okay. Yeah. So how many times it doesn't hurt? It goes, right can go on the inside and the outside, right? How many times? It's sort of like saying, How many times do you need a certain kind of facial to have your face look better? Right, your estimation and experience like, for the average person, like, how many treatments Do you think they would need of the motiva? I mean, a minimum of three is what's recommended. By my heart, yeah, I've got a month apart. And honestly, you're just popping in and out, it's really a fast thing, I will tell you that. It just said this cool thing about radio frequencies, it's the gift that keeps on giving, because the collagen production will continue for maybe six months or more, I read that and I was like, wait, that's awesome, even better than it did that week. So some people will just need a tune up maybe once a year, every six months, some people need more depends, if you're 65, and you've done nothing for your vagina, you may need six treatments. If you're 43, and you're like, Oh, I'm starting to get dry, then maybe you only need three. And I think one of the reasons that I'm very excited about having the opportunity to start doing some hormone therapy in there is that, especially for our perimenopausal and postmenopausal patients, you know, it's like if you go to the gym, and you work with a trainer, and then you never go back, you're gonna, you know, so this is an adjunct and putting some hormones in there, having the tissue change, the tissue will absorb the hormones better. So there's some synergy you get a better response over time. So again, this is why it's so important to be working with, you can see the difference between going to the Groupon or even your most awesome plastic surgeon. Okay, they don't know this stuff.

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I mean, do you necessarily want your plastic surgeon in your vagina? I can't imagine will do it, people do. Dang. Now in terms of cost, where is motiva in sort of the cost range. So when we do specials, when we have events, like we have people come in and do an event, we usually will do a discounted price if you sign up that day. But generally, we're talking in the six to $800 per procedure range, which is way less than a lot of other people, we see people price points, anywhere from 1500 to 3000 per event. Okay, I'm talking about per like, not for the package of three, but for going in Yeah, is that well, it's like Botox at one office versus the other. You're like, wait, I think I'm getting the same product, but it's three different prices. Yeah. So that's another reason. You know, I like to tell people that we want this to be the Soul Cycle of sex, you know, except for the price, it's kind of expensive. Like,

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I have a flexible neurotic vagina party at lemans. You know, actually, like having a pedicure party of bellick years or something, we but we do that we're doing this and people are having I'm not kidding you. birthday parties, divorce parties. That's a big one. bachelorette parties. It's been really interesting. And it's so fun. And it's really, really pretty. And we have champagne, and we hang out and we chat people get, you know, some free advice, how naturally there was like, let's say you invite 10 or 20 people to the party. So everyone gets their sort of pre screening beforehand, just to see sort of what their treatments would be. And if it's appropriate. Yeah, because the nurses are there. And so they can you would fill out that you would do the the format in the platform and the platform while you're sitting there with a tablet and then show look at everything and she'll be like, you know, this is this is better. This is better. I mean, people are gonna come in with a particular interest. Yeah, usually, but yeah, totally. And if anybody wants to that, just contact us at lumineux Oh, my God, it's, it's really fun. It sounds fun. I'm like, Can you sign me up? I might forget friend. Yeah. Okay. works on a lubrication elasticity. And it increases sensation. Yes, it can. It definitely can. Because again, like you were saying, if you're reading something as dryness or pain and its elasticity, or you know, lubrication issue, just bringing back the blood flow is really important, right blood flow increases that's going to nourish the nerve endings. This is all just anatomy and physiology. So we're just basically restoring the anatomy. I know when when I talked to Sherry Ross, she was like, people have to treat their vaginas. Like they treat their faces. Yes, she's right. Yeah, we'd I just never thought about it that way. I'm like, okay, I don't have a huge

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Ti I'm pretty healthy. It's like below my belly button. I'm wearing jeans or leggings. And you just don't think about your vagina in the same way you think about your face that you have to your eyes it all those things, right? Well, I think the thing is to I don't want people again, like if people are feeling fine and doing great, the cool keep doing what you're doing. But if the when you start to feel it, you know, you're like, yeah, and you're like, dreading like oh my god, I don't want to have sex. I feel like it's gonna burn and then I want to be the complainer I told my dad and lube is not enough. I think this idea that blue blue blue blue is great at what needs to be the right Lou, by the way. Is your favorite lube Suzy. First of all, I love like,

30:43

silicone based. I mean, those are the only ones I recommend. Uber lube is probably my favorite. That's a funny name. I know. Uber lube.

30:52

lube, it's over the other lubes liquid is good. And there's always a second when you said liquid, like liquid names are hysterical. Yeah, that's okay. And then there's another one

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called glissant Okay, that sounds there. granthi it is. It's it's, it's it's produced by a team that includes a wonderful year organic. She's a urologist who specializes in female urology named Karen Albert here in LA. They have some of their products have really high quality CBD. I mean that we should do a podcast on CBD. My gosh, I know I have a huge like, Can we do like a quick snippet on that? Yes, we can. I does. It's great for sexual health. Cannabis based products are great for sexual wellness for pleasure, really? Okay, so we'll talk about it right now for two seconds. Yeah. Yeah. Tell us how cannabis fits into the vagina as per situation. Well, I mean, anybody who smoked a joint in high school and felt horny, I mean, I'm not pointing fingers at anybody here. Yeah, well, I understand that is the thing that continues to happen. So the cannabis plant is a really amazing plant. And

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you know, we have a receptor system in our body designed for this plant, which is so fascinating. Amazing. Yeah, like so there's, there's receptors all over different parts of our body waiting for the different components of this plant. I think people mostly know about like, at this point, you know, people know about the psychoactive right getting high, right? But you know, mood, anxiety, anti inflammatory immune system, it turns out the pelvic girdle so that area of our body has more cannabis receptors than almost anyplace else in the body. I mean, more than the gut more than the brain. Yeah. So it's really interesting. And it turns out that you have, obviously there's a mind body connection because there is increasing libido, using specific products. That's frankly, more of the THC, the psychoactive but even the cannabidiol CBD increases blood flow increases relaxation increases pleasure. So what are some putting these things The best thing to do is really to apply them vaginally, there are some great products. Like I said, pleassant has a really nice lube. So it's high quality silicone based, really not a lot of toxic weird shit because your vagina absorbs stuff with CBD so that it increases sort of the pleasure aspect and the relaxation aspect. Another company that I really like is called forea. fo ri a and they make suppositories and oil based lubes. And those have THC and CBD. And those are great for pleasure

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tested after us that. Well, I mean, I don't know how much you're going to absorb into your system. And I think this is the problem in this area. We just don't have enough study. And so you shouldn't be getting systemic absorption, but you might it might make you a little sleepy or high or something like that. So I don't think you're gonna do that in the morning. You know, and I tell people and then

34:02

yeah, maybe the nighttime activity Yeah, or check it out on vacation. Yeah. But I tell people with with those products, especially especially these suppositories, I'd say 30 to 60 minutes before an encounter and you will see a difference. I've had patients who are not having orgasms start having orgasms again. It's awesome. Oh, yeah, it's beautiful. It's sort of like taking Viagra like in advance. Except for like, it's not going to mess up the rest of your body and give you a heart attack. Oh, for our heart, for our heart might bring you to the ER.

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Yeah, but that you can get with a prescription and your insurance pays for it. Yeah, that was my next question for you with the vo tiva. Does insurance ever cover it? No. Okay. That's why the price point is so important. And it's, I realize even like our price point is so expensive and out of reach for a lot of people but it's literally a third to a half of other people.

35:00

And we're, you know, we'll see how this, I feel that there is an opportunity here as we grow, to really allow people who normally wouldn't be able to afford this to do this. I think that's a very important part of it. You know, we're talking not just about like, let's have fun, ladies, but like, I'm a cancer survivor. Okay, right. So there's certain things that I can't and won't do. And, you know, women like that also deserve to continue to be whole and experienced their sex life. And, you know, it's it's important to understand that there are medical issues that can can be really devastating, and we can reclaim this part of our lives with our sexuality. So I'm a huge fan of radio frequency, there are very few people who are going to risk out of it.

35:47

You know, so I'd say, you know, if you have a pacemaker now, right, do that. Yeah, that wasn't my question. Is there anyone who can't do it? So someone with the pets the major Yeah, those are the main things certain kinds of IUDs you really shouldn't. copper IUD, it's metal. You can't do that. Okay, so yeah, well, I don't have an IUD. I'm 100. So

36:08

you're not Yeah, that's not an issue for me now is motiva any, like less or more comfortable than let's say a Mona Lisa. I've never done the Mona Lisa. Um, I think the Mona Lisa is actually a little bit less comfortable. And I've done lots and lots of lots of Mona Lisa's and I am a fan for for the right person. I like motiva better because I think that it does what the Mona Lisa does, but it does more. The Mona Lisa is a lot more superficial. It's more of a resurfacing. And I think people have people have a little more discomfort during it. And after although with house knocking differently, it's it's just a different technology. It's laser. It's a carbon dioxide laser, and it's actually a little grainy, more injury. So it hurts more than the radio frequency. Yeah, God heard a lot for everybody. I don't want to like scare people. You know, but I was, you know, Mona Lisa was available earlier, and I had more experience initially with Mona Lisa. Um, but I think the radio frequency is better. It does pretty much what the Mona Lisa does, but it goes penetrates deeper and has more positive impact. Okay, so and it's also anything that's less painful for me wax. Yeah, you know. And so, is there any downtime after it? Like, can you not have sex for two weeks? Like, well, no, no, we tell people about two days. Don't put anything in there for two days just to be safe. Yeah, well, I'm sure I'm not gonna get the treatment and be like, yeah, let me have sex tomorrow. Like, well, there are people who like want to leave the clinic. And we're like, well, and they're like, trying it out at night, like placebo effect. Like, Suzanne just gave me this tree. Well, and not only that, like, if you have any, like, you know, your your tissue is repairing itself from an injury. It's just like, give it a break. Give her a break. Okay, so we're definitely gonna dive into the libido thing in a second. But I want to talk about so you basically said it's $800 for three to six ish treatments. Right? It, I'm going to tell you that the price is mushy right now, but between six and $800 per treatment, right. And it depends on if you comment on a special or birthday party or party. Right, right.

38:20

Yeah, for whatever party. Now the Oh shot is the second primary treatment that you offer at lemon new. So tell us about what that is. And O stands for orgasm. Yes, it does. Yes. It says, yeah. So this one in the beginning. I was like, I mean, I definitely had heard of it.

38:42

Yeah, I mean, it's its origin story, which we won't get into is a little bit crazy. But you know, like I was starting to say as I got all overexcited, there's a lot of a lot of medical evidence in how we can use this part of our own body in the treatment of injuries, mostly orthopedic and sports injuries. And then it kind of moved into other areas of medicine, which is how medicine works. A lot of times like somebody figures this out, we're like, Well, wait, how can we apply this?

39:12

So what it is, is we're literally pulling your own blood, we're drawing some blood from you. We go in, in our little science area, and we use something called a centrifuge, we spin it which separates the blood cells from the serum, in the serum, our growth factors. We pull that off, and we mix it with lighter cane and some other things. And we reinjected I know that sounds horrible. No. It's like it's the PRP for your face. Many of us a lot of you guys know about exactly about vampire facials, which by the way, work really well. Same thing with joint injuries and repairs and all this stuff. So we know that there are growth factors and anti inflammatory factors and factors from our own bodies that are used by our body in our immune system and our repair system to read

40:00

grow and regenerate similar tissue, blood flow and nerve endings right? So we reap we put that back into the two areas of the clutter so we numb the clutter is up.

40:12

I know that sounds awful, but I will know it when I did the Laser Hair laser like 100 years ago, I remember them putting like numbing cream on and putting like a piece of saran wrap and like basically like bakey and it hurt. Yeah, yeah, that lasers to go Whoo. That's the tissue is really sensitive. There's tons of nerve endings. Yeah, so we injected around the uterus and and the G spot which is a ridiculous name. It's just now we know the clearest the clitoral anatomy is not like this little button. It's this whole complex. So what is considered the G spot is really just part of the clutter. It's it's sort of more inside the vagina behind the bladder area. And very important for sexual response, orgasm and stuff like that. So kind of a similar thing. We recommend three treatments two to three treatments, we recommend you kind of see how you're doing that. You want to give probably about three months to see where you're at, and then rehab after that. Similar prices. And really, that's been a game changer for a lot of people. You know, I mean, when people have had diminished orgasms, or no orgasms, especially when they had a different experience before and this is where it's important to really have that conversation with us because we've never had an orgasm before. I mean, I'm not gonna promise you now you're gonna have an orgasm, but this this could help. It depends on why that is. Right. Cuz that's a complex thing. Yeah. Is that right? Is that anatomical? Is that trauma? What is that, you know, is that you know, that you've been staring at for 40 years. Yeah. 100% 100 that's another that's a huge Yeah, I was gonna bring up later, but we can bring it up. Now. We were talking about libido. Um, yeah, the same person for a long time. Like, you know, listen, sexuality is complicated. Dopamine response, anticipation is a huge part of our sexual experience. And so if you kind of, I mean, if you have, like, great, he may have a wonderful partner and a great relationship, and a lot of love and history and all that stuff. But you can't you know, it's gonna happen. And or you think you know, what's gonna happen. And you know, the element of surprise, they all an element of mystery is no longer there. And this is where the intimacy issues, the relationship issues. The putting intention into your sex life is really important. I want to really, I want to say something else, too. I think when we focus on orgasms, like, first of all, we're out of our bodies, we're in our minds. So forget it. Sex, I say is the ultimate mind body experience. If you're up in your head, you're done. Your body's like, oh, by, right, you just abandon me. So, so that's part of it, but also on the other side of it, is, you know, what, I think the fantasy, and often when we're younger, is it's much more spontaneous. And it just takes over, right? And we want that experience again. But as you get older, and or as you are in a longer term relationship, you're going to have to put some intention into it. And that may seem like a chore and a bummer. And that's just life. You're gonna have to

43:21

work, eat dinner, make sure the kids have done their homework, take the dog out, and then you're like, Okay, yeah, let's have sex now. It's like, Oh, wait, you want to go to sleep? Yeah. And also, it's just, it's like a thing on the to do list. So, so being creating some mystery, some surprise, creating time and space to have an experience. I think it's for those of us who have families where everybody was piled into the house together, you know, that just there's no privacy. Not everybody is has a lot of space. Not everybody has, you know, a house where I can My boyfriend is in the bedroom teaching and I'm over in my office, doing the podcast, like, everybody is that lucky, like people are piled into an apartment, you know, so creating some kind of opportunity, psychologically, is actually the first step. And, and it has a physiologic impact because brain chemistry is really important. So sexting, you know, it actually can be held in your car. I'm just kidding. Well,

44:21

yeah, your back pain. I'm too old for that. Way too old. So it turns out that's not I. Well, now, the police don't care about anything anymore. But you know, like, that might be against the law. I don't know about that. I don't know about the legality of it. That's so funny. Okay, so now what? How does porn fit into this whole thing? Like being in the position that you're in? I know porn is like such like such a topic. And yeah, it could be 18 podcasts. Yes, yes. Yes. But how do you find that fits into a lot of what you're seeing like because I always thought

45:00

To my teenager, like my teenage son, I'm always like, please make sure I you know, whatever you're doing, you don't watch too much, or you're never gonna get an erection with your girlfriend or whatever. And he's like, Mom, please stop having this conversation with me. I wonder with, even like, with adults, you know, married couples, how much porn has affected their sexuality in a good way? in a bad way? I think I think it's both I think it depends on the the individual personality and the relationship and their relationship with their own bodies and shame and other things. So on the positive, we'll start with the positive because I think the negatives have been out there. And there's been a lot of fear around, especially our kids development and their sexual identities. And that will, you know, I'm starting with the negative because I want to get it over with and also I think, for women, this idea of how we're supposed to look is ridiculous, right? That's not I have people come in all the time with questions about very, very normal looking vulva and, and having to remind them, Hey, you know, the shit you're seeing online is airbrushed, potentially, or this person had plastic surgery, or anything else? Like it's not real. I think that becomes a little more of an issue with the younger folks, because they've had so much exposure early on. I also think that there's been, I've been, I think there was some amount of fear mongering in general around like the internet and children.

46:29

It's like, you know, I think if you're having a conversation with your kids, and you're normalizing, and you're allowing it, sexuality to be a conversation in your home, even if you're awkward about it, that's real. That's okay. Then your kids are like, have you shut the fuck up, please? Well, you're a therapist, and I'm a gynecologist. So can you imagine I mean, my kids, like, please, like it is like, dating and like, Can this just be over? And my kids are like, I'm not allowed to leave, because that's disrespectful. But I'm gonna die right now. But every house doesn't have that. Yeah, at first, that kind of communication. So. But there's some danger in that, I think as we get older, too, because we are comparing ourselves to an ideal, that is just, it's just not real. It's not even a real person. So So that part is, is problematic. Here's where we can take and empower ourselves. So we're talking about how to keep it fresh, how to keep it exciting, you know, there is something called ethical porn, you know, because that's the other side of that. Well, yeah, I mean, some of the a lot of these people are trafficked. And it's just ugly. And

47:32

yeah, I've never heard there's, there's a really interesting woman named Cindy Gallup, and she founded a site called make love not porn. It's so interesting, people actually submit their own porn that they created. Wow. Right. And it's in a loving context of integrity and other things, and all the different kinds, all different flavors. And so these people are not being trafficked, they themselves are producing this. They are submitting it, they're being paid fairly. It's really, really interesting. So there are ways to access sexual imagery that could be arousing and interesting. I think if it's something you've never had as a part of your life, that could be an interesting way to introduce some excitement and something new.

48:19

And I think it's another way also to D. stigmatize. And to normalize sexuality. Sexuality is something that we as mammals experience, other mammals do, too. Yeah, we're just, we're just part of nature. And you know, that it's part of our part of our health, getting blood flow to all these parts of our body is good for I know, we don't really think about that and think about because it mean, even in my other episodes is talking about just like use it or lose it. I've read things on your website. Like, if you're not having sex, you can't expect to want sex, it's sort of like you have to do it to want to keep wanting it you can't write it's like you can't work out once every three months and expect to tone body. Exactly. And here's the other side of it, too. You know, if people aren't super sexual beings, fine. That's, it's about your, your experience of yourself and your body. If your experience in yourself and your body is satisfying. Awesome. But if something has changed in a way that is distressing, or disturbing you, it's time to have this conversation. Well, yeah. And I think it also depends on your relationship with your partner to like, are they saying or if you had a partner? Yeah, it's like, are they saying something? Does it feel different? Like, do you feel like you've lost the novelty? You know, you know, obviously, there's that research out there that talks about like, what is it every five years, sort of, like the novelty wears off or whenever you're married, so you're either gonna leave the marriage or you're going to figure out a way to make it work? Right. You know, so I think in this point in life, we're all looking for intensity.

50:00

Yeah, get up a little bit, you know? Yeah. And it's I mean, I've talked to almost all my episodes, guests about it. It's like we're all looking for kind of like the novelty, the midlife edge, the intensity, whether it's like intensity of a new business like lemon new for you, or the intensity of a new sexual partner or revamping what you already have. Because not a familiarity gets boring. 100% we're curious by nature.

50:31

Oh, maybe I'll get my vagina ultrasounded that sounds fine. But you have to be. I think for me, too, it's been kind of getting myself into this mindset of being open to trying new things. Ya know, some, some people might listen to this and go, there's no fucking way I'm touching my vagina with right or sound or getting PRP injections in my own blood. But I feel like at this point, it's like, you got to add in a little bit of the spice and try it or you'll never know. Yeah, I think and I, you know, here's, here's my take on that. Like, this is not for everybody. Yeah, but but other those specific two things are not for everybody. But sexuality is a part of who we are. And so there are the opportunity just to have the conversation and have an eye out, oh, I hadn't thought of it that way. Or maybe somebody learned about like cannabis and how that could have their sex life. Or maybe somebody heard that sex is important to their health. Cool, if that's all that's coming out of this conversation, and I love France than anybody has with lumineux I'm not here to sell anybody on anything. I'm here to help create solutions to problems that really do exist and are not being addressed. I mean, that that's it and everybody, it's never a one size fits all, ever, ever. So you're right. Some of this is gonna be like, Whoa, no way it would never, maybe you don't do that. But maybe you're like, oh, I'll try out healthy porn or ethical porn or whatever. And that's the thing about this whole podcast and this midlife journey that I'm on myself. And having creating a community around is like, everyone's version is going to look different, right? And that's cool. But it's just that we're on this journey. And like, let's try out new things and see what clicks for us and what doesn't like some people are gonna be a meditator. Some people are gonna try tantric sex class. I mean, I interviewed Tracy tutor for a million dollar listing. And she has, she's our, my age and our age, and she has a 26 year old boyfriend or something like that. And she was like, I want to take a tantric sex class. And I was like, Oh, that's interesting. So I think it's kind of fun with this podcast is Yeah, you don't necessarily have to try everything, but you're like, oh, maybe I'll think about it or you do something else that you try. Exactly.

52:53

Yeah, so Okay, so I'm definitely going to figure out whether I need the motiva and.

53:00

Right How Why are you? Can you do both? And what how do you decide between the two? I think it depends on that. That's the conversation we would have. Yeah, we wouldn't do both at the same time. But I absolutely there are a lot of people who would benefit from both, and they can kind of enhance each other. So we'd have like, like an in gorge pumping vagina.

53:21

I mean, yeah.

53:24

Sure. Yeah. Totally. Yeah. My husband, my husband would love that for sure. Okay. So libido, I know, that's like the $10 million bid.

53:35

And for women, yeah. So

53:39

in your medical expertise, like, what's the deal on libido? Like, what can we sort of, quote, fix what is just nature? A lot of it is what we've already talked about, oh, god of it is I mean, some of it is definitely changing physiology. And there, there has to be some hormonal contribution for some people. We don't, but we don't understand. And this is very important for for people listening to hear, because there are a lot of people out there like testing their hormones, oh, your testosterone is low, let's get I mean, I'm not saying that testosterone replacement couldn't be helpful. And they're actually Finally we have some

54:16

pretty good data that has been released recently in some guidelines from like North American menopause society and the sexual health organization. So these are like medical organizations with science. There is some contribution in terms of loss of testosterone. The problem for people is testosterone replacement is not so easy to get, the amount of testosterone that women should get is a 10th of what men can get. And there are people out there getting I'm just going to touch this third row pellets. No, the science is also very clear about the pellets not regulated. You put it in there, you know, we don't know what you're gonna get. It's not there, just the safety data is not there. There are other ways to get testosterone. Okay, compact.

55:00

Did creams, other things I'm not going to spend a lot of time on. But it is true that for some people, testosterone is going to be important in being an improvement.

55:10

So some of us just aging and, and, and hormone changes. I think a lot of it is context. I think a lot of it is being exhausted, being stressed. being bored. I was just gonna say bored, because I feel like mid life too. You're kind of like, okay, what's next? What's the next thing? Yeah. So just to be like, your libido is low. Let's stick this pellet in your ass. Good luck. I mean, I don't think that's fair.

55:36 Libido

I mean, it's what we talked about. It's spicing it up. It's putting intention into it. It's not being lazy. It's being accepting. You know, I mean, if you're pissed off at your partner, you know, you're, you know, some people do want to have sex with their stuff. Yeah, but a lot of people being pissed off over a long period. Okay, look at what happened with the pandemic. Look at all the information which as a woman or working woman does any of the surprise, you know, I'm so happy that somehow now the media is said to glom on to this. It's like, whoa, whoa, get it. I know. Right. Where have you guys been on shit? We already knew but okay. Right. So it's like, I mean, really? If you just worked all day in your, you know, Home Office, aka your dining room table, homeschooled your kids cleaned up their shit. I made dinner. Really? Do you want to suck your guy's dick? Probably not.

56:27

Off. Yeah, exactly. Bye, bye. I mean, what? Like, no, I agree with Nicolas lately. I know. So to say that that's not part of it is just silly. That's just come on. So, I mean, libido is complicated and interesting and beautiful. Like I said, mind body. So get out of your mind.

56:49

You don't get in your body. Also, if you don't know what you like, I don't understand how you think that that your partner I know that's the right point. Because the mind reading shit like doesn't work. That's not fair. That is not fair to any partner of any shape, size, gender identification, come on. Like, and that means you're going to have to you need to you get to touch yourself. And the other thing I started started talking about a little bit is like process not not goal, like so making orgasm. The goal is not maybe not a great idea, but like enjoying the process, feeling you're changing body. Oh, you know, this used to be the thing that caught me off. But now actually, that seems kind of nice. I had a friend Tell me an older friend who's so interesting. And she was she's in a relationship and they're practicing like orgasmic meditation, which is controversial. Wow. I mean, that's, I think it's a little culty. But she was telling me about this shit what it is, if it makes whatever happy, great, but he literally it's like some process and they just stroke this one part. And it's not about orgasm. It's just kind of being vulnerable, receiving for a prescribed amount of time. And it's not about having an orgasm, and there's a tremendous amount of pleasure and bonding that occurs. So and trust on both sides. It's really, really interesting. Is this for everybody? That? I don't know. Yeah, it's interesting stuff. Yeah, no, I don't even like I said, it's not that we have to do it all but it's like, Whoa, that's cool.

58:20

Yeah, he's trying that like, just reading about it going into the Google rabbit hole and reading about orgasmic meditation like What a fun night. Right.

58:30

Okay, so I want to read two reviews on those two treatments just so the listeners can like get a sense of like a real person who's had the treatment and what their experience has been. Right. So the first motiva review is I chose to have the motiva treatment due to low sex drive. I'm talking over five years, it was so bad. I really could care less if we did it or not. I went to three different doctors with my complaints and was never told about motiva, we need to get the word out so that others don't suffer needlessly. I feel like a woman again, truly enjoy making love to my husband and even look forward to it. I mean, honestly, amazing. Like, I'm so all right. Well, the thing is, like we talked about if you don't enjoy it, why would you want to have it? Yeah, yeah. I that's great. I love that. I love that. Now, the O shot review, this is the O shot remember is the one with the PRP, little injections versus the motivo, which is the ultrasound. as I age I had as I had aged some, I noticed that I was a little stalled in the romance department with my marriage. So my doctor did an O shot on me and within three weeks, all I can say is Oh my gosh, I have never experiencing I have never experienced anything close to this. What's going on with these people? Suzanne? Like we just talked about, I know the call flow the elasticity. Yeah, I mean in three weeks.

1:00:00

To have this huge change. Yeah. Wow. I know that's I love that. And again, you know, results may vary. Yeah, no. Listen, you know, here's, here's where some of my colleagues who are like superduper conventional and like in the box, God bless them, they get mad and they they want to crap on this stuff and there's a lot of negative stuff out there about all of these things. Do you think that the pharmaceutical company is going to make any money off and oh shot? No, there's no pharma involved in it. And so are there going to be large randomized clinical trials that are considered the gold standard? women's sexuality and orgasms is not highly valued. There's never gonna be my Acura is fully covered, I'm sure Ma, I mean, there's a lot of penises that sit on the FDA. So, you know, it's,

1:00:47

you're not gonna see large studies looking at these things. And I think as long as we have shown that there is no harm and that there is some benefit. We keep moving the science forward. And we're creating opportunities for women to be in their bodies in a way that is comfortable and joyful. And that's really all I'm trying to do here. I love it. And I think it's amazing. I also want to mention that you have a menopause bootcamp. Yes. Y'all. I just did my first in real life when it since the pandemic started. And I have a book deal also. And it is writing a book, I'm writing a book, I just finally signed the contract. Amazing.

1:01:24

super exciting. So my title. Well, right now the working title is the menopause boot camp. Okay, great. It's based, it's based on our events. So I started, you know, the similar to this thing, like just never enough time to really answer people's questions, and to really dig in. And so I literally bring people together. And I would love younger and younger women to be a part of this

1:01:47

group of us that we're all being very mean even even younger. So what happened is, I got interviewed by a colleague of mine, who's in her 30s, who's a big deal herself. Now her name is Erica Chitty. She's unreal. she interviewed me about she brought me into the wing, which is reopening it's a women's workspace, she brought me in to do an interview on menopause. And I was like, you're like 30? Really? Okay, let's do it.

1:02:14

And we had this incredible conversation. And during the conversation, I realized, Oh, my God, we lost the intergenerational conversation on menopause. Women are entering into this physiologic state to this developmental state, this normal part of your life, which is a blessing, by the way to get to that age, with no information we would never let our kids go into puberty. Without is gonna say that it is the same, that it's the same damn thing. And I thought, Oh, my God, why I need to, you know, between my patients clamoring for info, and having that conversation and seeing a lot of young women in that audience, where were young women in that audience there who wanted to hear, I had a mother and a daughter, it was I was like, Oh my gosh, and I just had an epiphany. And it just literally popped into my brain menopause boot camp, and I just created this workshop where I basically download the information right, here are the definitions, what are you know, find out what people want? Here are what are the what are the top 10 issues that people start to experience from symptoms to body changes to health concerns? And then what are the solutions, okay, because again, it's not one size fits all. And I have a background in integrative and holistic medicine. I'm board certified in ob gyn, and I practice in a conventional setting, but I'm also a certified Ayurvedic practitioner. I'm an herbalist and I'm board certified in integrative and holistic medicine. So I have these different tools. And I think when again, we look only at what's FDA approved. But there's science and ethnobotanical journals that people don't you know, read in medicine, I have different options for people and we really do like deep dive, there's a what there's a need for Western medicine, but there's also a need for Eastern medicine. It's sort of like where to hold on and sweetspot and everybody isn't going to need the same thing. The other thing that we do is my life partner is a 35 year fitness professional and a former pro bodybuilder and an expert in fitness and aging. And so he does a session because being in our bodies in a way that helps create stability, strength, flexibility, competence. posture is so important. Yeah, we do all the phone dance density in menopause and perimenopause. Oh, so we're doing these in person. I'm getting a lot of requests now to go places and do it and the book will have a lot of information. My dream is to create a module so that people can do these boot camps in their own communities. Because I want people to experience menopause as the joyful change. It can be not the scary I'm becoming invisible. Part of the reason like that you were just saying

1:05:00

that women in their 30s aren't like, oh, let me learn about menopause. It's sort of like, oh, what do I learn about the thing that's gonna ruin my fucking life? Right? You know, some people aren't proactive, obviously. But you sort of just want to live until you get to that sort of horrendous zone in your life. Right? You're saying it doesn't have to be horrendous. I mean, obviously, there's certain symptoms that we're all gonna face. But we all have to try different things to see what shakes out for us. Now, if you had three pieces of advice for mid lifers, I mean, I know that's a very big question. Yeah. But like, what would they be?

1:05:38

Oh, I'm

1:05:42

kind of what we're talking about. Like, I'm trying to say this in a nice way, but stop hating on yourself. And thinking that everything's over.

1:05:52

Real a corollary would be the next chapter can be the best chapter. I mean, you know, and entering it. For me, personally, I have all this accumulated wisdom, and experience, and it helps me make decisions and view my life very differently, very differently. Because I really do know what I'm talking about. I really do. And, and then the other thing that I've really, really been focusing a lot more on is how much future tripping I do both positive and negative. And like, if we can just be where we are especially where 55 I'm very aware that like, nothing is promised. So sometimes when I start getting myself tripped out, either in a fantasy about how much better it's going to be when I XYZ or like, Oh, my God, how stressed out I am about, you know, the meeting on Saturday. But it's Thursday morning, right? So can I just be here? I know, enjoy. For so many of us. It's like, Can I be here? I mean, I was thinking the other day, like, Oh, my God, my son's gonna be out of the house in less than a year. Yes. Yeah. Like, I really have to enjoy what's going on here because he's going to be gone. And I'm not going to be able to negotiate about curfews, and this and that.

1:07:11

No, of course not. And but here's the other thing, I will tell you this, because both my kids while I was in college, and one went out of the house, and sort of he still pops in Yeah.

1:07:23

And, you know, the anticipation of that, for us as moms is really intense. Like, it just got a little heartburn thinking about it. Like, it's really intense. And it's really sad, you know, it's like the end of an era. But I will say that like now, you know, my home is a very different place. It's a place where I can reflect a play a place where I can be creative, it's a place where my partner and I have all these interesting projects and things that we do together as a adult couple, this is not their dad, you know, it's like a, I'm in a new phase of my life in a lot of ways. And that's, that's really fun and cool, too. So I'm not saying that people at midlife should like cut off whatever they have, leave it behind, to undo fate. Right, exactly. That's how that happened to me, or I did that that was what worked for me. But you know, there's there, I think when you kind of build on what you know, and you educate yourself and you and you again, you realize that you really have use accumulated value, then you go into whatever's next in a really different position. Like, I find myself being more relaxed about a lot of things more confident about a lot of things, allowing things to flow to me rather than grabbing at things and like being so like aggressive and like, you know, yeah, more really render. It's kind of it's kind of great. It's kind of great doesn't mean I don't work my ass off or not. I'm striving I'm that's I'm a competitive person. I'm I'm always learning that's just like my thing. But it's like in a more chill way. Yeah, no, I get it. That's why I'm the flexible neurotic Suzanne. Yeah, I'm mentally insane and neurotic, but I'm trying in my midlife years to be like, Okay, my son says I'm more flexible, because I only asked him three things a day instead of 3000 because I'm so busy with the podcast, and he couldn't be more fucking grateful in his whole life for me to not be focused on him.

1:09:23

I also think for a lot of us, for women who haven't had full time careers raising their children like you have had the idea of being an empty nester and not having that sort of main focus is really hard. Oh, it's terrifying. Yes. terrifying. Like, Oh shit, what am I going to do? Why what but the message I want to give them is it's exactly the same for them. Like you have been running your household. Yeah, you are the CEO, CEO and CFO probably. I mean, you really do know what you're doing. And so if you can start directing that toward yourself

1:10:00

That the sky's the limit. And how about just like, fucking relaxing for a minute. Like I agree, you know, like smelling the roses. I agree, I think for me and be turning 4546 this year and starting this podcast after being like a stay at home mom, which I hadn't planned on doing. I'm like, Okay, how can I find this sort of sweet spot between being able to be present for my teenagers the five minutes a day that they're willing to talk to me or pretend that they're interested in what I'm saying? and creating this whole other identity for myself where I'm like, actually, this is my time, and I'm doing shit right now. So you're gonna have to figure out how to get yourself to your camp job because I'm busy recording a podcast with Suzanne at 8am. Yeah, that's that's a big deal. And I think us giving ourselves permission is an ongoing mission for me, you know? Yeah, yeah. And boundaries. Boundaries are. That's a whole five more podcasts. Totally. I think this part of life of like, the sort of midlife itches is like, scratching your edge, but also taking a deep breath in between, like, they're gonna write your power housing, and you're like, I'm going through all these emails and making those six calls and recording these three podcasts. And then the next day, I'm like, Who the fuck am I? Where am I? Like, can I literally just stare at a wall? And that's okay. Yeah, yeah. And sort of getting yourself out of the judgment. But before we wrap up, I want to do a quick rapid fire fun shit about Suzanne.

1:11:35

questions you might have answered, but let's do it again. Okay, so here we go. What's next on the bucket list for Suzanne? Oh, what's next on the bucket list? Sleep.

1:11:49

I'm gonna stop. I'm just I mean, I'm gonna stop delivering babies at the end of the year, which is a huge thing for me. So I'm not I'm like joking. not joking. Like, I'm literally going to have uninterrupted sleep. Yeah, it's key for your health. Yeah. Oh my god. I can't even imagine that. I've like a very boring. Yeah, I have a dog who roams the room and I'm like, Can you stop moving? Because you're like, interrupting my sleep. And I've already had kids. Thanks. Okay, so anything that you have learned that's now on your bucket list after quarantine? Oh, yeah, you know what other people's opinions of me? I don't care. That's Bye bye. Yeah, those are your opinions. I hit What am I? Oh, it sounds like you're having some feelings.

1:12:35

Cool. Thanks for sharing but what about quarantine did that for you? Just the fact that you got to be alone waiting it to be alone I was working but I did I had more time in the beginning because it was like such drama and lockdown and like you know I'm a physician we didn't start practicing but we're trying to be safe. I had a lot more time at home concentrated time and two things happen one I realized I really like to be at home and I started gardening again my partner's got an amazing green thumb and we have like a farm in our backyard. And and I was I it made me focus more on like what is it that I like to do? What do I want to do? So that's sort of like in like a weird way to like, you know, I totally get it's like wait a second, where am I in all this? Like actually I'm first I'm first and your opinion or my obligate might what I perceive to be my obligation to you or you think is my obligation to you? Is your business and your problem? Not mine good? Okay, secret pleasure. Or not? So secret pleasure. Oh, secret pleasure. Well, I mean, I kind of touched on it but we grow cannabis here.

1:13:42

I'm coming over I got it and we use it for I mean, I make medicine out of it. We enjoy it in many many different forms. Wow. And so I like have his background in herbal medicine and we have like done a deep dive into it. I mean, my boyfriend actually was finishing doing something and texted me a picture of this nugget because he's harvesting right now and it was like he's it's so he's so proud of himself and I'm proud of him to he taught himself to do this Not at all. That's

1:14:08

right. This it looks like some like something you'd see in a textbook. I'm like oh my god, you grew that and then we will do

1:14:17

whatever we want. This is for personal consumption. So we we smoke it we bake with it. We make medicines with it I infused oils and gift it to people. Wow. I'm loving.

1:14:31

That sounds so flexible. Suzanne is very flexible. Okay, do you have a beauty treatment that you like? I am all about oils. Now like as I've gotten older and I was like an oily skin person I only use I almost exclusively use oils and serums on my skin. I don't. I really don't like I wash my face but not with any kind of soap, like and so just getting that moisture back in.

1:15:00

There is huge, huge, huge, huge. I mean, I do all the things like I drink water and all that stuff, but it's oil. I mean, maybe this is nothing new. I just discovered Oh, like I use rose oil. I love oil. I just tend to have to use them at night because I feel like I get a lot of Mullah. I have a lot of melasma and so I feel like the oil sort of like even though I want it during the day because yeah, you feel so hydrated. Yeah, I feel like I'm attracting the sun especially in Southern California and Los Angeles. I'm like brown spots city. Oh, I know. And then I think hat which is great. Yeah. Okay, so I was gonna ask you this question, but it seems like you probably have a long answer what whoo things do you do it probably Oh my god. Whoo. Things do not do. None. Um, no, I What? Whoo. I you know, what I use? You use CBD. That's a little woowoo I do it is but to me, it's also scientific. Yeah, in my brain. So this is what I do that I think is pretty pretty. Whoo. And with all due respect to indigenous people, from whom I borrowed it, but I have these things called these medicine cards or called medicine cards. And I pull cards. I really do and I'm gonna tell you something when I'm having like, a lot of anxiety or panic. I pull those goddamn cards. It's better than out of and for me, and I I mean, you have to read the book and there's car that's like it's almost like Taro and that kind of thing but it's their indigenous based and like native indigenous you know, like I think this guy's from New Matt not he's from New Mexico

1:16:31

but the cards their animals so it's animal spirit medicine and then there's an explanation for what that means. And there's like, different ways that you display as you do and it tells you different things and I'm telling you for me, it calms me down it's like the universe in some kind of universal energy God higher power whatever the hell you want to call it. speaking to me and I never fails to make sense to me and I'm like meaning natural. I mean it you know, I'd have like I

1:17:01

did this the other day I have some major professional things going on and I'm where was I in that process? And there's a specific card spread that you do and like one of the the animals even like if they're upside down or right side up they have different meanings and like a lot of it was a lot about the stuff that I've been working on for myself and I'm sharing with you like having boundaries believing in my own self being loyal to me being seeing things for what they are not what I want them to be that kind of stuff was really interesting. Wow. To come over you have a lot of stuff happening over there. It's really boring in my house. Okay. Favorite TV show that you've watched in the past or you're watching now? Oh my god. Okay, we have to we this is Naked and Afraid Excel. Oh my just write that down. Don't hate it. These people are dropped off in nature with a couple of things naked. Now there's producers and there's I have to you have to like you know, just believe because I know that there's bullshit going on and there's people there right? I just write it down I gotta check it is but it just watching the watching them like make stuff and figure out how to be a nature and feed themselves and build a shelter and also how they interact with each other is very interesting. So we love that and then the other one is I'm really like I've gotten way into like nature reality shows. This is called homestead rescue. Okay? Don't Don't Okay, these folks are homesteaders in Alaska they go to your homestead which is failing and you're gonna die. And then I'm awake. They fix it. All this off the grid living people who are living these sustainable lives. Yeah, trying to it's like, very interesting. You can imagine how we got into this during the pandemic and we like I said, we ripped out the backyard and have a fuckin farm out there. What do you grow there? What are we not going out there right now. Tomatoes, corn, all kinds of peppers, green beans, peas. Some turnips are still there kale.

1:19:05

A cup of you know, like herbs like you know, Rosemary pulled out all the grass and like made a lot of it. A lot of it. Yeah. Do you in West Hollywood? Do you have pets? Cats. I want chickens so badly. so badly. But I mean, like, you know, it's the city lot. I have a fantasy. I have a form fantasy. For sure. We're gonna Greg. Greg is the farmer cuz he's the greens. I mean, he's the one out there. I'm like, hey, do this.

1:19:33

I did. But there's no green thumb in this house. This is like, we don't have fake plants. But we have plants. Maybe sort of succulents that you don't have to like actually manage or do anything smart with was the last thing you ordered from Amazon.

1:19:48

The last thing I ordered from Amazon was

1:19:54

probably a book my friend Suzanne steinbaum book on women's

1:20:00

heart health. So interesting. Yeah, well, I'm gonna have to buy. I ordered last night I got it delivered to my house. We have these birds that are eating our grass. Oh, at night so someone told me to buy this like fake owl? Yeah, yeah, yeah, it sort of oscillates and turns with red eyes and makes noises so I took it out, pasted. Yeah, my dogs were like, what is Hi, I'm in Listen, I have had a lot of cat pee remedies that I bought my powdered Cuban instant coffee which nobody in my family loves but me. You know. So other random thing. exercise ball. Oh, yeah. The exercise ball. I bought last my dog punctured with his teeth. That was awesome. Was intuition natural to you? Did you have to work at it?

1:20:50

No, as a young person, I, I did a lot of gut instinct. stuff. And it's interesting. I actually last night or this morning, realize something and I was like, Oh, that was my intuition trying to talk to me. And

1:21:05

yeah, maybe I should be listening to that. That's a big part. That's always been a big part of my decision making. Yeah, my intuitions really strong. I don't 100% listen to it all the time. And I sort of pay for it. Yeah, yeah. annoying, really annoying. What's the smallest thing we can do today to start our shift towards self recreation in the second half of life? Well, I think some of the things I mentioned, I think just Stopping, stopping doing and just checking in with your own self. Let me that's kind of what you're talking about your intuition, if you want to call it that, but like, stopping all the stuff and all the noise and being quiet and seeing what comes up for you? and trusting that? Because that's you do? Do we know so much more than we think we do? I know we start to doubt ourselves, but we actually know the answers. Now. Similar, what would your bottom line advice be on finding the sweet spot in the second half of life? I mean, you have Greg and farm and CBD?

1:22:09

Well, I don't think if we don't have Greg a farm and CBD, how do we find the second half of life? Suzanne? Well, I mean, I but all of these things came into my life because I was open to them. And I also by the way, was open to not having anything that I thought I was supposed to have. So you know, we didn't get in my whole life story. Yeah, not that interesting. But I, after my divorce, I got breast cancer, I got divorced. Actually, I met Greg, we broke up. And I spent a year really just grieving everything about everything. Like I didn't date, I went to work and took care of my kids and took care of myself. And that was it. And some of it was amazing. And some of it was very hard. I pulled away from a lot of stuff. So I think sometimes there needs to be like a radical re approachment to your own relationship with yourself. Yeah, until I established that relationship with myself. None of these other things were gonna happen. And I didn't know what was gonna happen. So I had to take a leap of faith and be like, hey, maybe this is what my life is maybe just me taking care of myself is where it's at. And can I be happy and satisfied and find joy, and satisfy my curiosity and have adventures? Whatever it is, it's important to me? Can I do that? It turned out I could. turned out I could. And I think the only other everything that I did after that, I did it with a sense of

1:23:40

like this weird combination of empowerment and surrender. Does that make sense? Yeah, that makes complete sense. I feel like that encapsulates sort of like this whole past year, at least for me, like COVID you know, self recreation journey. My teenagers being home. everybody's like, wait, why aren't you as available as you used to be? You know, it's a lot of different things for sure.

1:24:04

Okay, so off topic, favorite sex toys. Oh, um, favorite sex toys? How we should try more. I, I Lilo makes really great vibrators. I really like them because they have all different kinds. And I think that stimulation of different parts is really important.

1:24:25

I'm kind of fascinated by this. I think it's called a womanizer. That's supposed to sort of simulate oral sex. That font I find that to be fascinating. Have you tried it yet? No. Okay. They'll send it to me now. Yeah, for sure. Wow. Interesting. I haven't heard about that one. Yeah. What do you think? I mean, for most of your clients and patients, Is there like a favorite thing you'd say are not really, for first, always or things that might? It really depends on the person to because you got to like, I think there's some generational stuff with this too.

1:25:00

For a woman who hasn't had a partner for a long time or hasn't been having sex, taboo, if you don't know about, hey, taboo t A bu makes a wonderful product, smaller, flexible, has a red light, which has helped helping to stimulate, it's really awesome for like, not having had much going on. They're postmenopausal, that kind of thing. So because there are people who are like, Whoa, sex toys, what the hell, you know, right? And then there are people who have like, a closet full of stuff. Yeah, I'm, you know, I'm more on the sparse side, I would say yeah. So I also I ask other people, yeah, maybe I'm missing somebody.

1:25:35

More and more, like female founded sex toy companies. And I think, for obvious reasons, they understand that, you know, what people want and need. And so that is, those are places to explore. But I mean, that's also been getting D stigmatized a little bit, too, you know, it depends on it depends on who you are. So it sort of even just bringing it up for me as a practitioner, you know, everybody doesn't have the same response to this stuff. Totally. Yeah. Well, I might now after I do vote, even the Oh shot.

1:26:10

Going back to what you were just saying a second ago about the sort of empowerment and surrender for women who sort of feel like they're in the basement of their life right now. Like they're going through a divorce or post cancer or something like that. Like, do you have any pieces of advice for like, you just feel like your life is fucked, and you're never gonna get out of it? Like you were just saying, like, What got you over the edge? And out of that year long back relationship back to yourself? Like, do you have any pieces of advice for that? Because I know there's so many women this spot, right? Well, I didn't do it alone. No, I mean, I did it with the help and support and love have, like some really great friends. Okay. And therapy, you know, so I think this idea that we have to do everything alone really was backwards. Okay. It doesn't it doesn't make any sense. I mean, and I think

1:27:09

isolation feeds your story. Yeah. So sometimes when you're saying your story to somebody else, they can point out to you where they don't agree, like, like, and some of these basic like, you know,

1:27:22

one of my best friends would say to me all the time, you know, stop talking about my friend Suzanne, like that. Oh, I like that. Be like, really just wanted to stop talking to ourselves in a way that we would not talk to our friends. We would never say that about our to always think about that. But it's very hard to sort of, you can think about it in an intellectual way, but actually implementing that is harder. I always thought like, affirmations were just so hokey and weird. And I was like, she kidding me? No fucking way. But I have to say that these really are affirmations. And I think when you're really deep in the hole, if you can find one person who's a good person who can listen, they can help kind of send that hand down there to pull you out of the hole. Because when you're in the hole, then you don't even think there's anybody. But there's always one person. You know, yeah, no, I like that. I like that a lot. Okay, so now that we have shoveled our ship for today, Suzanne, I hope everyone has loved hearing Suzanne as much as I have in all of her golden nuggets. I love digging deep with you on this podcast. If listeners want to find you where can they find you? You can find me I'm super active on Instagram, which is how we met I think Yeah, so ask Dr. Suzanne asked Dr. Suzanna HSK Dr. Su z A enemy no punctuation.

1:28:46

I also have my website is probably the best place so that's the Dr. Suzanne t ag Dr. Su z A nn E, and then all my socials on there. So menopause boot camp will be announced on there, sign up for my email. That's the best way to hear what's going on in my brain and in my world. And definitely come find me at Les Manu, China. So on my list, I tell Greg I appreciate all these noises in the background.

1:29:17

Tell him I love it. I'm so used to it like with kids and the dog and Amazon and my kids ordering Postmates I'm like I'm so surprised Suzanne's like not like cuz I'm usually yelling at someone. God bless him. He's gonna listen to this ridiculousness. I know like she's so chill she's so chill. I so enjoyed talking to you today. Oh my god, it was so and I'm so coming in for one or both of those treatments because they just sound awesome. And I

1:29:49

definitely have some of those symptoms myself. Not that I want to, you know, admit all of my personal thing, even though I already have well, but we can do

1:30:00

Maybe we should talk we'll do like a listener. Yeah. You know, and now that's, you know, yeah, that would be really fun. It would be great. And we can have more like question and answers and yeah. Talk all the ways is in the present. Yeah. All right. Talk to you soon. Have a

1:30:16

great day. Bye.