Episode 16 transcript

00:05

Hi, good peeps. Welcome to the flexible neurotic podcast. You know that friend that you can call to ask anything? That's me. Dr. Sarah Milken. I'm known to my friends as the flexible, neurotic. What does flexible neurotic even mean? Let me be neurotic while I take out my golden shovel to dig deep for all the golden nuggets in the hottest topics, from parenting, to education to neuroscience, and maybe even some beauty secrets. So we can all start living more flexibly. Come join us for edgy conversations with rad moms. Innovative thought leaders and well being practitioners helping you find that sweet spot between chaotic and chill. If you're craving that sweet spot, grab your golden shovel with me. You will walk away with nuggets you can start using today.

01:01

Hi, good peeps. This is the next episode of the flexible neurotic podcast. I'm Dr. Sarah Milken, the flexible neurotic. Today I have a rad guest I don't think I have ever used that term on this show. I fucking love her. She is smart, cool. And a badass female entrepreneur. She's an artistic funny celebrity jewelry designer in Los Angeles. She gets you and she's gonna hook you up with super cool glamorous style to make you shine like the Queen that you are. Her designs are worn every day by the biggest a list celebrities influencers me and empowered women taking on the world. Whether on the red carpet or in the school carpool line. Melinda's jewels make you feel luxurious, sexy, edgy and classy without worrying about the price. And I just want to mention that Melinda's jewelry is worn by these a list celebrities and more JLo the Kardashians, Michelle Obama, Selena Gomez, and she's been featured on Oprah's favorite things. Her name is Melinda Spiegel of Melinda Maria jewelry. Hi.

02:23

I'm so excited. You're here. I know. Don't you hate hearing about yourself? It's so awkward. I know. It's like when my mom tells people about me. I'm like, Mom, I'm six years old. Please stop. Yeah, I know. It's so funny. I have to though cuz you're cool.

02:41

Yeah, good thing I want people to know you. First of all, we're going to talk about the Melinda Maria jewelry that I'm wearing because some of these clips are going to go up on social media. So we use the ear these hoop earrings or what Yeah, so you know, hoops are a staple that everyone needs to have. They're like, poor sexy story. The bigger the Oh, the bigger the Whoa. Yeah. And you need the French honey. Gosh, I know.

03:09

With the chords. I feel Yeah, earbuds we get stuck in there, right? Oh, you could do it. You could figure out a way. But I came up with a name big ass hoops because like what a great I was like hoops or hoops. Right? No, I'm not reinventing the wheel here. I've learned that people weren't hoops for decades and decades and decades. And I just thought like, who would wouldn't want to wear a big ass Who? Especially because they have diamonds in them? Yes. And then from forward facing from the back you can you can see out from you know the back. So those are beautiful. You have the carry chain on which is very

03:43

also a great name. I named it three of my favorite characters and Sex in the City. Like a series of the Sex in the City. So you're gonna be wearing the carry chain. Cool, which I feel like do you identify as carry them as a carry the most? A little bit of a

04:00

bit of a mishmash of a few of them, actually. And I have like the nerdy side too. Yeah, yeah. So you could wear all of them. I feel like I could wear all of them for sure. And what's the little heart and then it's just like, oh, baby heart. Yeah, hearts are cute. And then I have ear cuffs on. Yeah, ear cups. You don't need a piercing. Very cool. That's the best and we're definitely going to talk about that because your apps are definitely my thing. I've been buying your jewelry on the regular fact that you have Shopify is a game changer for me. And I'm not getting sponsored for saying that, but because I can just click Buy and everything just happens for me now. Yeah, okay. Yeah, it's like amazing. I mean, I've already gotten two emails yesterday and today that says Melinda Maria out for delivery. And I'm like, Fuck, I love that. Like, I don't even remember what I ordered. Thank you.

05:00

So I'm going to see later what my presence were to myself. Okay, great. We should always self purchase so you think is on a weekly your lavender boxes show up at my house with this gorgeous gold writing and it's like a score for me. Oh, I'm so happy that you love the lavender. When I was doing the branding for our packaging. I was like oh, I really want the Tiffany blue damn them because that's so iconic and then I was like oh lavender and then but you know it's a mandate in our office. I'm so happy you said lavender because in our nobody can call that purple. Oh no no fly zone for the talking about the branding color. Fucking neurons Melinda. It's all about new author. Yes lavender. Now I want to read Julia Roberts quote about your jewelry. This is what she says Melinda's jewelry is amazing for the simple reason that is made out of joy for life. And she manages to put her loving energy into each piece she creates. Yes, thanks, Jules. And how would you say your energy comes into your jewelry? Because I can feel your energy on Instagram. You're like dancing, you're wearing cool outfits you're rocking at? How would you explain the energy coming through your jewelry? Honestly, I design? Well, I would say at this point designing is about 5% of my job. It's my favorite part of my job. And it's 5% of my job, unfortunately. But I decided when I'm in the mood, I mean, I have deadlines, obviously. But I designed for a mood, right? Like if I'm feeling like cool and edgy vibe. You're gonna see some spikes and some clean edges. You know if I'm more of in a frilly, like feminine like yeah, my way in the Sex in the City to to on rails. Exactly. Exactly. That's like, you know, she fun, a little bit of frilly but cool, because you know, you wear like a cool shirt with it. Yeah, it all depends on my mood, honestly. I mean, I have to in fashion jewelry I have to be designing. What do I do, like 450 new designs a year. So, you know, I gotta crank out just crazy. Yeah, it's crazy. And it's me, hopefully, I will not be buying 450 items, because then I'm going to be in a real shitstorm with my husband. I would hope that you would.

07:29

So yeah, I just honestly, it depends on my mood and like what I'm feeling, you know, we have obviously, you know, I have a CFO and a supply chain and an analyst I know we're gonna get into all that shit. But you know, when it comes down to it, I get all that from my team before I start designing. But ultimately, it's all from what I think is cool. And really what I want to wear. I love it. Okay, so I want to tell you what my intentions are for this episode, because I'm a nerd, and I want to be able to check my fucking boxes that I covered everything I wanted to pick your brain about, because this whole podcast is about picking cool brains and figuring out what we can pull from our experts and our peeps. For our second half of life. Love it. How old are you? The second half of the way? I know, but I 45 Yeah, see, I just turned 46 a couple weeks ago. Isn't that crazy? Oh, my gosh. Okay, so crazy.

08:28

It's so true, but it's great. So good. My intentions for this episode, as it is for all of my episodes of the flexible neurotic is for us to dig deep with our golden shit shovels. In an edgy conversation about how we can find our sweet spots between neurotic and chill. In this case, we're going to find this sweet spot in discovery Melinda's female entrepreneurial secrets and advice that helped her follow her passions and look amazing. While she's doing it. We talked about the path, some of the obstacles and any strategies to overcome shit that comes in our way. Are you ready? I'm ready. Let's do it. I really wanted to pick your brain. I want to find out how you built your business. How you keep your passions and personal fires burning and look fucking amazing at the same. Oh, well. That's my dermatologist 3d boy that I have checked in. Yeah, got a permanent residence at the doctor Wooster in Brooklyn. So you will

09:30

double show. Bundy. Yes, I have been going to her for a long time. Yeah, me too. She's amazing. And sometimes I'm like, God, I feel like maybe I need a little extra. So I have like a combination of Jason diamond. Yeah, I know. Jason Yes. Yeah. I have a little bit of a combination of Jason diamond. And Jessica, who's a little more local. She's in Brentwood. Jason's in Beverly Hills. So that like quick touch up

10:00

Yeah, if I need that like mask and a pimple injected Yeah, she does it for you. Yeah, I zip over to Dr. Wu's office and get it done. Right. Love it. Okay, so we all know that our formative childhoods and young adult years have a huge impact on the choices we make, the things that we do things that we want to run from the hills for and never do again with our kids or our families. So will you give us a quick snapshot of what your family was like growing up a little bit about your childhood? Okay. Um, yeah, I mean, I grew up in a very sort of traditional very middle class, Spokane, Washington, type of, you know, childhood, my parents were, you know, my dad worked in sales. My mom sort of worked here and there. I mean, I remember when my mom worked at a I was in third grade and she worked at a taco time. Does anybody know taco time? No, it's a fast food fast food restaurant. And she and all her friends after she, they all had their first child. I think their first child, they decided they're really bored at home. So they got it and they the first child went into preschool, they decided to get a job at the local fast food restaurant taco time. And I remember walking, I would walk in third grade with my friends from school to talk time is about three blocks away. And I went up to the counter, I was like, um, Hi, mom. Excuse me, Mom. I'm so proud of my mom. One. time I was like, I couldn't I was I couldn't scream mom loud enough for everyone to know that was behind me that I was the daughter of the woman that was serving the churros. And the cinnamon crustose What made you so excited about that? Just the fact that she had like, a job and obviously fries.

11:57

like no other reason the mexi fries and the special sauce? Yeah. Um, but you know, they were just very plain basic. You know, family, nothing fancy. It was very, very middle class. Did you have any siblings? Two sisters and a brother? Okay. Did your parents go to college was college a dad like my mom never finished college because she ended up having a zillion kids four kids. no help, by the way, which is crazy. Right? I literally I would say I call my mom twice a week being like, tell me again how you did this with no help. I cannot compute like, yeah, literally. And not only did she have four kids and no help. She never ever yelled. One time my mom yelled at me one time. I remember I was such a little shit. I wanted this cantaloupe that she was making these desserts like little cantaloupe when she scooped out the middle and she was putting ice cream in the middle was Huckleberry sauce. And she liked it. This was her thing. This was her dessert. And I was like, Mom, I just want some I want some and I was being such a little shit. And she's like,

13:04

she threw it across the room. It hits me in the face. I like fall over. And I have cantaloupe and seeds dripping from my face. And I sat up and I was probably like, 13 years old. I was like starting sterically laughing because I'd never heard my mom. Yeah, no, she's not yell. I don't know. She's a saint. And I was like, I started laughing hysterically. We were all laughing. And I was like, I deserve that. I actually like I deserve that. And my mom was like, we were all laughing but it was hysterically and my mom was like a saint. I still to this day shouldn't even have parents that helped her no parents obey. So I learned that from my mom. But my parents were amazing. But you know, I always felt like I needed to get out of this place. I was like me, not my family, meaning Spokane. I'm very tight with my family and families like hysterical and amazing. But I just knew I wanted something more. Like, nobody was really doing anything that exciting around me. Like nobody ever, you know, parent people's friend's parents were like doctors or a lawyer like, you know, a teacher, salesman or whatever. And so I didn't have I just I had the instinct like, I gotta get out of here. Like, I was always an artist. And I read. I read. Think about myself as like, I knew I had the instinct to get now I didn't have the money to get out. My parents didn't have any money like I was at 18. And my parents were like Zia, no help nothing. Wow. Um, so it was pretty crazy. I moved to New York after high school. And I knew I wanted to get moved to a big city. And so I was a nanny that I lived in their house. Wow, I get that job through an agency. It was actually Woody Allen's sister away. Woody Allen? Yeah, yeah, it was crazy. So but I just

15:00

knew I like needed to get out and see the world and like, be around culture and different. I mean, it was so white where I grew up. It was no, there was no diversity. And I just, I don't know, it's interesting. I just instinctually knew I needed that. I read that when you were a, you knew you wanted to be involved in jewelry. Can you tell us about that? You know, it was just my super crazy passion. Like, I just was obsessed with that at an early age. Like it was such a gift. You know, anytime, you know, I think As parents, we need to figure out what our kids love to do. And then to shepherd that because you're always going to be successful. If you are passionate about what you're working every day at. Did you ever actually think you were going to be a jewelry designer? Like could you see it? Could you taste it? No, because I didn't know that entrepreneurial spirit. Like I didn't understand. It wasn't until I met my husband when he was my boyfriend the time. And I was like a makeup artist and an assistant and I worked in production and I sold jewelry at Starbucks like, and he was like, you have to do one thing and be really good at it. And I was like, oh, okay, well, I want I like designing jewelry the most by far. And he was like, Okay, do it. And I was like, me, me, me. I'm gonna have like a somebody that works for me. What do you mean? And so, you know, I had like the instincts a little bit, but I didn't have the direction like I moved here. I didn't know anybody. I didn't know one person and you know, he definitely, I was selling jewelry at the time like, but to think about me in that mind frame of like, oh, you're gonna have your company and be a jewelry designer was not like, in my mindset. I was just happy because I was like, just freewheeling artists making money. I was like paying my rent just doing a bunch of different stuff. But he was more like, Alright, let's go. So you move from New York to LA you have this boyfriend who's telling you to pick something and be fucking good at it. Yeah. So what's your next step?

17:07

Well, he was like, you make a business plan. I'm like, what's that? He's like, Alright, you know, how do you get sales and then she started just like, he just started the wheel because he's an entrepreneur and he just started the entrepreneurial like thinking in me, and I was really fucking scrappy. Anyhow, you know, so that I have that going for me and I had the survival because I had I didn't have a choice I had no parents supporting me whatsoever. So I had zero money. I mean, I'm not I'm I'm telling you like zero money coming from my parents. So I just didn't have a choice. Right. And I knew I did not want to move back to Spokane. Like I that was Mike I could not could not go back even though i love it i love where I grew up and I know Spokane but now in terms of like your philosophy on going big with your dreams. Are there any people that you look up to or people you listen to like Joe dispenza Gabby Bernstein, like in terms of manifestation and building your dreams and seeing them come true?

18:13

Or is it just Melinda?

18:16

Melinda, I guess just be Yeah.

18:20

I like listening to I think Gary Vee is very cool right now. Yeah, I really like Gary Vee. I don't know, I have quite a few friends that are business women, like, you know, one of my best friends even nor Weinstein it's, it's she runs now. You know, one of the largest nonprofits that serves under, you know, underserved communities like Laura and Baby,

18:46

baby. And, you know, she runs that thing like a fortune 500 company like to think see what she's done with it, even though it's a different space. Like we're constantly talking about business and you know, running things and HR and employees and margins and how we do things operationally. So, you know, my friend Allison stadard, who's brilliant businesswoman, my friend Brett Smith, who's you know, amazing at what she does, so I feel like I turn to my friends Really? I really do. Yeah, that's a good point. Not that Shark Tank gives me I learned from Shark Tank I'm obsessed with I'm actually so funny that I didn't like think of that and produce it because I'm obsessed with shark thing. Oh my god, you learn you know, if you clear your ears, you can learn from anybody even these people on Shark Tank that have come out and they have you know, been doing it for six months. Like you're gonna learn something from I love that because I'm one of those people where if I can just learn one fucking thing. One small little tidbit in my mind is totally worth it to me. Yeah, yeah, cuz I feel like everyone has a different experience or like you talked to Nora

20:00

And she's looking at it from a nonprofit perspective, but she still has the same sort of, like you said, HR issues or supply and demand issue, you know.

20:11

Now in terms of the order of your life, I for me, I always talk about how I always thought that I would be a full time working mom, like because I grew up in a house with my mom being a full time working mom. Yeah. But then when I had Jake, I was like, No, I'm not leaving the house, I really want to be here. Now I know, you sort of have an interesting order of events of how you did your business. You You didn't do it. Like, before, I had kids and I was working seven days a week, like literally from the moment I open my eyes, the moment I shut them for a few years. And, you know, I was starting with this crazy, terrible learning curve of like, I didn't graduate college, I never took one business class. I didn't know one person in fashion, I had zero connections, like literally zero. So I had, I was figuring everything out on my own everything. And so, you know, I worked I was, you know, started make a little bit of money a few years in, and it was kind of nice, I was paying my bills. And you know, I was sort of pinching myself at that point that I was actually able to pay my bills. Through having this company. I didn't have to have a side job. Like that was already Success to me. I mean, it's funny, I went to see the apartment that I started my, my company in. And it was really cute, like I was with my kids. And I showed them where I lived. And it was a really pretty shitty apartment. And they're like, Oh, that's so sad. I'm like, No, it wasn't so sad. Like, I was just as happy then in a different way as I am now. Like, it was, I mean, I had financial stress, but like, I was so happy that I was just able to barely pay my rent, and barely pay my insurance. I was late on my rent all the time. Yeah, and but to be able to do that with a company that I started was pretty awesome. That is when I started in the I had to digress. When I started, I had my own bedroom in the apartment I was sharing with somebody else. And then I had to have my little sister's friend move in with me at you know, 28 or 29 when I started so that I could afford to make the jump. So like I had a single bed pushed up against the wall. She had a single bed push up against the wall, like in order to bootstrap to start and were you with your boyfriend at this time? Yes, yeah. When I officially started because like, I had been selling jewelry at Starbucks, like underneath where people got their drinks, like all over town. Can you explain that I read like, I was like, how do you so at that point, I was like, Can making stuff and I would like sit underneath where people got their drinks cuz I figured people could see it. And I was like the jewelry girl at Starbucks. And I would like people be like, is that for sale? Mike? Yes. Oh, how much is? I mean, I was pricing it. It's like some stupid low amount. And yeah, it was. I mean, I think one time One day I think I made like 20 $500 did the people Starbucks? No, you were under the counter. Yeah, yeah. I mean, it wasn't like I was sitting like right at the counter. Hey, I'm trying to do some work here. I know you want your latte. But I'm trying to run a business here. So back off, like, right. To punish myself a little bit. You know, it wasn't always

23:32

Oh, no, I would go to all the fancy Starbucks. Fancy. Like I would go to a Rodale. Why, you know, Beverly Hills area, I would be at the main street in Santa Monica, Montana, and seventh and then I would go to the Robertson one. That's a good one. That Uh huh. And that's where I'm at Lisa Klein. Uh huh. And Lisa Klein was one of my first accounts. I would go to one in next to Bell gray, which is Lisa rent. What was Lisa Rinna store? Yeah, at least I rented that bell Gray was one of my first accounts to like wholesale accounts. Oh my gosh, that's funny. Now, in terms of getting married, having children having a career before your kids, like, Did you find that once you had kids, you couldn't stay at the same pace? Yeah. So I worked. So you know, at that point, when I had my first kid, I think I had gotten into like Nordstrom. Um, so we were, you know, we had a little bit of success. And I, you know, it wasn't my plan to run a big business ever. Like I really just like I wanted to get married and have kids like, my. So, you know, at that point, we had still had a business I didn't want to let it go. And so we made a real conscious decision for me to stay home with the kids and not miss out on you know, being at home with them and we hired somebody to run the business and I took a good like, seven years off.

25:00

Why when I mean off I mean like I found it in I felt I barely went into the office maybe like once every couple months, maybe over a day just to like show face they you know Melinda's still alive, and then I would just phone in design. It was really not that comp I was really structure before you had kids. Because how could you just call something in? Um, because I had I did have somebody running the company I had like a day. Okay. And then at what point did you feel like, Oh, my God, I have to get back in again. When Sam when my last. When my last was in preschool full time I we both said, Okay, it's time for me to go back. Okay, so you have three sons? Yep. How old? Are they? 10? Nine and six. Okay. And did you feel guilty when you were working a little bit? Yeah, a little bit, because I had been home for so long. But I kind of quickly got over that. Because I was able to, you know, I don't miss anything. Like, I work super. I wake up at five o'clock. I work in the morning before I make breakfast. Like I put them to bed and I'm working like I still do that. But do you feel like you're still present enough? Yeah, like, I never missed a thing. I never missed a thing. I never miss a thing because I'm able to make my own hours. Yeah, that's the beauty of being an entrepreneur is I mean, the hard part is you're working 15 hour days. And the positive part is that you can sort of make it the way you want it. Yeah. But that's why it's so important to do something you love. Because if I was working this much, I would be miserable. I know we talked about that a little bit before we started recording. Yeah. You said do you love this podcast? And I was like, Yes, but I'm working 12 hours a day. But if you don't want to get out of bed to do what you're doing? Yeah, it's really hard. Oh, it's hard. If you are obsessed with what you're doing? Yeah. So if you really don't know, let's just start from that. Let's start from that point of view it Yeah, it's brutal. If you love what you're doing. So is there anything that you realize about parenting and the process of being a working mom, like anything that worked or didn't work? Would you stress less of the small stuff? I think that, well, I always try to not stress the small stuff, I definitely think, you know, I really taught my brain to know that worrying isn't going to help exam thing, you know, like stressing about something. I think that like the quantity of time to spend with your kids is not as important. I know, it's such a boring, trite thing to say, but I really believe that I think like even with the kids, you know, even though the kids gone from being at home on zoom, you know, when they start going to school again, I was like, Oh my god, I'm not going to be with them those little times a little moments, but it's so much nicer to be like, okay, out of the house work like crazy when they're back home. I take the time I'm with them. I put work away for this amount. But sometimes mommy has to work through dinner and things like that. And they know that and I've taught my kids really early on and I've been very open about money and how much things cost and the value of it. I've been like, you know what, we have a nice life. Mommy has to work. We are very blessed. I can spend time with you a lot of time with you. But that's life, guys. Right? Back to your other point of having grown up with nothing and being scrappy, and how that was part of your mojo. Now that you have these kids who are growing up in a much more privileged, yeah, lifestyle than you were accustomed to, like, how do you think you're going to teach your kids that like, scrappy piece. I mean, like, for me, I grew up in like an upper middle class home with two parents as doctors. But it wasn't over the top by any means. And I think that my kids are probably our living. Like, you know, we go on more trips than when I did when I was little, you know, going to private school for me was like a really big deal financially for my parents. So I think it's also like an interesting thing to think like, how am I going to instill that in my children, even though their upbringing is different? Yeah, I always had a job. So I said to my kids, I'm like, when COVID is over, like, you're gonna have a fucking job like I was the guest store in the Westside Pavilion. I worked at chinchin. Like these are things that are necessary to create that scrappiness? Yeah. I think that death to children is if they know that they're getting financial help, if they assume and think they are getting money. I think it's almost child abuse. Like I just do, I think you take away that will

30:00

You take away that scrappiness. It's like, No, no, no. You have to like my kids. No, they are not getting anything they are having to work. Now, do you literally say that to them? Have you and your husband discussed that? Yes. Yes. All the time, man. You know, somebody will say, Oh, well, you know, maybe I can have that. I'm like, No, that's fine. That's, you know, he'll say, Max is like, are we rich? I was like, I am, you're not.

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I know, I've said things like that to my kids too. And because I really, really believe that now. It's not to say that kids that were given, you know, money that they can't be that way, but it's just like, with what I know, you know, and I said, we'll pay for your education and, and that's that, and you're gonna work for everything, you're gonna work for your car, you're not, I'm not giving you a car, I didn't have a car till I was 21. I couldn't even drive my parents car, like I had, I didn't. When I was 16. It wasn't like, great, you have a car now or you even get to use ours? No, there was no plan of me getting my own car. Except what happened was as I went from public school to private school in ninth grade, and once I got to private school, a lot of the kids did have cars. So my parents were like, Oh, shit, like, the rules of the game have changed. So they ended up buying a friend of mines old used car. So it was like, I still got the car, but I didn't get a brand new car that everybody else was getting. So they still kind of wanted to make that same point of like, yeah, sign up for the rules that we signed you up to go to the school, but it's not gonna be 100%. Like how you would love it to be Sarah. Right, exactly. So I thought that was interesting. Now, in terms of like, the pandemic, I mean, obviously, you're a huge career woman who is used to being out in meetings and having an outside of home office, and all of that was the silver linings for you. With the pandemic, I would have to leave my house at 645. Every morning, with all three kids ready to go, I wouldn't get to work, because they all had different school and tutor and before school, and I wouldn't get to work until like, 945. So I would leave 645 I was driving my last around and I saw like, I was thrilled to not have to drive around, that's for sure. Um, but I just think like, you know, for me, personally, I realized, like, I don't have to be at work every day. And same with my team. Like, I mean, my shipping team does, but I think that it's sort of, especially in Los Angeles, it's like, eats up your time and sucks a lot of your energy being in the car that long, right? Like, we're Yes, nobody's getting to work under 30 minutes. Like, for the most part, right? Like, if you do like, you figure it out.

33:05

I think that it helps my team to like when I listen to my team, and I think our guys you like working from home. Now, I have a rule that you can't be on zoom without, you can't be on the no video zoom. So like, there has to be that like connection. And I agree with you. And I tell my kids that too. I'm like, I don't care if a teacher tells you can be off camera. That's like disrespectful and weird. Yeah, so there's that so I kind of like the way that I'm, you know, giving freedoms to like people that work for me, like working from home and being flexible. I sort of think like as a, as a business owner or to like, really listen to the my employees like issues that they're having and trying to navigate. You just trying to be more flexible. Like, it sort of opened up my brain to be like, okay, let's figure out to be more flexible to make people happy that work for me, so that, you know, I have better, you know, motivation for them. Like they're happy that I'm sort of bending over backwards to figure out okay, I get we're all in this together. So there's that kind of view of, I guess just managing people that have has worked out. Yeah, just like being with the kids and like, I'm never home there's so much shit that I wanted to do at my house. Like, I never got I couldn't even get a bed frame pick out a bed frame. Like

34:28

how I built a huge deck off my bedroom. I built a fire pit like my decorator and architect we've been wanting to redo the house for like five years, I finally got full rendering plans done. So like I just never was a I was never home to like map out things that I wanted to do. So that was kind of kind of like gave you different outlets that you could kind of re envision for Yeah, I like that. I mean, that's basically what I did with this podcast. Like I was like, I was like, Oh my god, I have to do something.

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thing. Awesome. I'm gonna do a podcast and I'm gonna work 12 hours a day and have my kids wonder where I am. I have any idea what goes behind, like when I get, oh, you're a jewelry designer? That's so fun. Like, do you have an office that you go to? That? I'm like, Yeah, I have an office, do you have a website? You know, you're just even if my company was seven people or 10 people like, or four, three or whatever, like, it's, there's so much you just you have no idea. I'm sure I've no idea what it takes to build a podcast, but I'm sure it is so much more. It's so many steps. But like for me, I'm like, Oh my god, like how do you run a whole jewelry business and have like manufacturers and distribution but it's like, goes back to that thing of like finding something you're passionate about. Otherwise, it's like an uphill battle. You're dead. And my dad never really liked his job. I think that's one thing that I learned from him. Not. But he did. He gave me You know, he was like, you can do whatever you want. But it wasn't like Yes, go do that. And here's, you know, let me help you how but he didn't love his job. And I was like, I'm never gonna do that ever. Like, I would quit jobs before I even had like, even when I didn't have money in the bank for rent, it's Peace out. I'm out of here. It's not in this fight. Right? And like shit, how am I gonna pay my rent, but that's sort of how that scared me to death that scared me to death. I was like, I never want to be in a job that I hate. I think that was a huge driver to me to know. But I feel like that's a good segue into like, into women who are listening and myself. Like, what's your advice for starting something new? Like you have balls? You have courage? You're willing to stand in Starbucks and sell jewelry? I mean, obviously, that was a million years ago. But how do you find that courage? To start small?

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Just start small. I mean, you just have to start. Honestly, I know. That's such a dumb thing.

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A lot of people are saying the same thing. If you're so scared, be like, how do I start? How do I start? It's like your you got to stop that rhetoric in your head. Just start everyone start somewhere. So you know, I know. Yes. Some people are given they have a silver spoon in their mouth or they have a leg up or they you know, it's like, whatever Gwyneth Paltrow is mom was blind Dan or whatever it like, right? There's always gonna be that but like, if you don't start you just one less day, one more day that you're not starting. Right? It's like if you don't start today, like do the if you want to start a I don't know. In fact, I am looking at my frames like a picture frame company, right? Like just research it like What's missing? What What's missing? If you have a space, figure out what's missing, I guess in the marketplace. That's a good point. changeable? Yeah, not to do. Um, but you know, start with the name, start with the name of the company, start with the logo. Start with researching when I thought about as research research that space of like, what what what's the hole in the marketplace? You know, like when I started, there was nothing. There was no jewelry that I could afford that I thought looked good. I wasn't gonna wear something that looks like shit and crappy and 10 and so I realized like, quickly, there's not a lot of fashion jewelry. That looks really good. I'm so happy you said that because that was gonna be my next question. Like you have a hook in the market because your jewelry looks like fine jewelry, but it's affordable pieces. So everything like what do you think your price ranges? Like? My price range from? Yeah, like, that's like seven years ago? Yeah, I was gonna say like 50 to 78 so people can really feel like here we have like, it's already Yeah, 110 is 120 is like our, you know, big sweet spots. Yeah. And how did you know that? That would work like how because it seems like oh, imitation jewelry. Not to say yours is invitation but that it's not fine jewelry. So fashion jewelry, not imitation. Yes, fashion jewelry. How did you know that would work Melinda? I mean, I had the balls to do that. I didn't like I didn't know it's gonna work. You don't know if anything's gonna work when you start it right? Like if we did then we would either do it or not do it or you did invest a bunch of money in it because you're like, this is gonna work. I had no idea I just knew I think it was great when they first saw it or did you get some nose and like did people didn't understand exactly what it was? I got a lot I got mostly Yes, I got a lot. I got mostly yeses. Yeah, I got a taste of it pretty early on. But you know, it's the business and the finance part of business. That's the hardest part, especially for somebody that's like an artist. I mean, now we

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Shit. It's so different from when I started, we have like, percentage of employees to marketing spend and budgets through an entire year planned out, you know, two months, you know, two months before the year starts and we have what's your ARV compared to your you know, I mean, it's like, it's so different. But God, what was the question again? What How do I know? Yeah, yeah, you don't. But you had the balls to do it, which is great. And how long did it take for like celebrities and influencers to catch on? I mean, obviously, they can afford to buy whatever they want. Yeah, yeah. And I mean, I think that was the interesting part of my angle at that point. Now, the bit, no, jewelry is saturated. Like, it's crazy how many fashion brands are and other than that, but when I started wasn't as saturated. And I also, you know, again, like, not knowing being being like naive, not knowing you need to call and make an appointment in order to walk into a store to have with a buyer. Like, I would just walk in and be like, Hey, I'm

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the buyer here. You know, I would call people and be like, Hey, I have this new jewelry line, I really need to talk to the editor. Like I need to send them pieces. Like My name is Melinda Maria, I'm out of Los Angeles, like, please, can you please, you know, and I had no idea like, and I had a couple of really amazing. I mean, one is a Brooke Jaffe, who then became the head fashion person at Bloomingdale's, she was at instyle. And she just was so sweet and wasn't snobby about taking on, you know, and profiling like me, who was literally nobody at the time. But yeah, I would like fly to New York with honestly, like, no money in the bank just be like, shit, I can't believe this girl at instyle is going to take a meeting with me, Oh, my God, you know, it was just a naive attack that I got. And I love also that you're also bringing up another really important point is, as women, we have to help other women, like give them that chance. So like, even for me starting this podcast, like me calling you or me calling Alyssa Goodman or whatever. I don't know everyone that I'm calling. But and it's a brand new podcast. It's not like like, you know, it's Britney Brown. And so all these women have been so responsive and warm in trying to give other women chances are even myself, and I feel like we all have to pay it forward. So when people come to me and ask me for things, I'm like, yeah, of course, I'll help you. Oh, my gosh, yeah. I mean, I've, I've reached out to jewelry designers that I'll see on my cup pop up on my feed, and I see that they're just starting out or like have like 300 followers or whatever. And I'll be like, dm them, like, Hey, I know this, you could take this or leave this but I'm going to give you a little advice like put a waitlist on your you know, I know it said that you sold out on your website in a day. I'm like, put a waitlist on your website like you don't you have sold out and so you can't project how many orders you should put in because you sold out so fast. And like I've done that for people and they're like, and I believe host small jewelers on your head. Yeah, sure. And I honestly think that's another talking point. Hey, I fucking hate girls that are competitive with other girls too. That's what I was just gonna say. Collaboration versus competition like sure is 5000 podcasts or 5000 million room. If you're good. There is room for you. You're going to shit if you're going to be like I've had so many designers be like, Hey, I know that you know Nordstrom like can I you introduce me do I'm like, you know what? That girl is gonna find it somewhere. They're gonna find that Nordstrom buyer somewhere. Just be the person to give it to them. It's like just fucking be that person. Yeah, just so annoying. I hate it's incenses me. When I when I feel very middle headed, doesn't it? Yes. And listen, I'm not that I'm not competitive. I'm like, Yeah, I want to be the best designer, no question. But if there's somebody that I can help, I'm going to do it. I just am going to do it everyone. If everyone had a little bit of that, then the world would be a much better place. I love it because I try to do it myself in my own life. Now when did you know you hit the big leagues? Like was there a certain celebrity that like warrior shit and you were like, Oh my god, I haven't. Oh my god. Yeah. Seriously? Yeah. Well, you have like JLo wearing your shed the Kardashians? Like who? Like what was the first one where you were like, Oh my god, I still don't think I've hit the big time.

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But don't look at it. Like which celebrity was it? That was what was exciting. What was like an exciting point in

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Yeah, business. Um, I would say

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when Julia Roberts went on Oprah as her favorite gift, or her favorite thing, Episode, that was pretty cool like to have on Oprah at the time, it was the hottest show. I mean, it wasn't actually that it was a fair Well, it was her farewell season. And Julia is like best friends, Oprah and she went on Oprah got an email from Marcy angleman, from Julia's publicist, and it was like the title was like, Oprah, Julia Roberts and Linda Marina was like, I know exactly where I was. I had exactly pulled over the car. I know exactly where I was when I read that email. And I was like, Oh, my God, Julia Roberts wants to go on Oprah and present my jewelry as one of her favorite things. And I was like, that's so because at the time, like, I mean, Julia had been wearing like me and row like all these really well known, but like she was, I mean, she had so many jewelry brands silly. So I knew her through a friend. And I met her through a friend and Look, she's not gonna wear stuff that she doesn't like, but she liked a lot of my jewelry. And she was so sweet. I remember the second time I met her at my friend's house, and she was like, okay, your jewelry because she's like, well, I'm doing this tour. I can't remember what movie it was like, I'm doing this tour. She's like, why don't you come by with your jewelry. And we'll look through it with my stylist. And I'll I'll see if I'll wear it on the tour. Save it over any outfit. Yeah, she wore a bunch of my pieces, um, throughout her tour, and that was amazing. And a bunch of I got a ton of coverage on that. And then yeah, and then she randomly she'd even tell me that. And she randomly like, picked me as her favorite thing which was noted, you see and her free jewelry.

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Well, that point she was just it went through her stylist and her stylist putting it on her. No, but the producers at Oprah were like, I'm so Julia pick like five bangles. That's her thing. And you give it away to the audience. Yeah, yeah. It was like xillia it was five bangle sets. For 450 people, I think it was in two and a half weeks, which is literally impossible to do. And at the time, I was manufacturing in India. And I mean, honestly, like, it cost me so much. You know, at the time, I was like, shit, this is gonna cost me so much money aside to pay brush fees and brush duties and all this stuff. But yeah, we got it done. It was amazing. I remember the screen like on Oprah Winfrey, the screen going blank. And it was like you hear Oprah going Moulin de Maria and like just my logo. screen. That was pretty crazy. I think like the first like celebrity that started wearing stuff. I don't even know how I got in con. Oh, I know. I know. I called up TV shows. I would just call up TV shows and be like, Hey, I'm a jewelry designer. I'd love to speak with your costume department and it was desperate housewives. And so this stylist really loved my pieces. And I would style the Desperate Housewives girls. So I was on Desperate Housewives. And at that time, like that was a huge show. Huge. Yeah. And so it was like Eva Longoria kept wearing it. And Terry, how you just put yourself out there. I just was like, you know, I thought it was it's always Fuck it. My thought was, it's gonna be somebody so why not me? That's the whole point of this podcast. Also, it's like, why not me? It's the second half of my life. I want something for my fucking self. I'm a mom. I'm a wife. And I want something for me. Yeah, so that's, that's honestly been a mantra of mine. If I really look back, it's like, it's, it's good. It's gonna be somebody so why not me? I love that. I think that's such an amazing point. Now, in terms of your style, your style comes out in Instagram, it comes out and who you are. And you're sort of like a little bit of a mix of that. I don't know. I think it was installed. I call it like Converse couture. Yes, that's what I was just gonna say instyle magazine called it like Converse couture. You're wearing like this like amazing satin blazer that was a bazillion dollars and you're wearing Converse shoes and jean shorts and Melinda Maria jewelry. Yeah. She's like that. Yeah. Oh is always I remember wearing baseball hats with I would wear braids with baseball hats.

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And people were like, That's so crazy. You're wearing a boy's baseball hat. Like I remember in high school. It's like the tick tock influencers now. Yeah, like people couldn't wrap their heads around that I was wearing like a boy's baseball hat. I still remember that. And I was wearing like in New York, you know, in New York. What are they called the red dots the Boston Red Sox, but you're

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Give me just your sort of artsy side just yeah, ours. Fashion is just like how you feel right like today I'm feeling like a little bit sexy loungy but like she's wearing like a whole sweater top not the Melinda Maria like a nude color spandex dress that only she could wear. Oh no, this is a spank or no this is um skims. Oh, this is my lounge. This is a lounge where and I

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like a year my daughter keeps telling me it's sold out it's sold out is like a marketing genius that one Jesus Christ. Amazing. Unbelievable. Yeah. Now let's talk about your layering for a second. Like I told you this on the phone. Like sometimes I look at your Instagram, and I'm like, I just want the whole fucking thing. Like, right? She's wearing these four necklaces with these earrings. Like, what's your layering like rules? You know what I realized? We spent so much money on these builders on like, put this charm with this chain. And you can see how you look. So as you build it, and people do not want to do the fucking work, they can't do it or they want do it. Like everything needs to be as convenient as possible. Yes. Like that's how we're that's our bond. That is our mantra in our company right now is like, how to make it as easy as possible for the customer in the shopping experience for the return experience, make it as easy as possible. Now we set up this thing where

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you can return pieces, and you get credit. As soon as you fill out. You don't even send it back to us yet. You get a credit as soon as you fill out the paperwork. It's either credited to Melinda Maria, it's on the store. And then we get it back and then you went as soon as we get it back. You could have the refund if you want or you can choose the credit. Hmm, yeah. But like that's, you know, that kind of easy shopping. I'm like we do layers. We can feel it. We did really hard sets, you can just click and go those do really well for us really, really well. And you're and you're wearing it all the time. Yeah. Do you ever wear other people's jewelry? Fuck no, no. Okay, you're just like a walking. Now that is where it No, that's where it crossed. Because

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I want to wear like that's, that's how I design my pieces. As I make everything that I want to wear. I bet you so many jewelers want to ask you. I get everything I have everything covered like I'm covered. Not that I don't love the pieces not that I'm like oh my god, like my sister in law has just bought who's a friend of mine who I love and who I have. I'm always an open book to give her advice and I love her and hopefully it helps her but I'm Sara handler Who's this great jewelry designer and she just bought this tip Sara handler handler ring and I'm like oh my god I love it. It's also because to be honest, like I can make things for a quarter of the price of what I would buy it for even like I I'm just like it's like wasting money How do you organize all that jewelry? malenda It's so not it's not organized like that I don't do it. I feel like my jewelry is kind of like a shit show. My no my my jewelry is a shit show. complete shit show and back. My assistant just said Listen, I'm going to come on a Sunday I don't even care I will come for the entire weekend. I got to figure out your jewelry. I feel like gotta be worth like office very organized. I feel like you need like 500 like neck mannequins that have like the bundles already on them. So you just walk up to that mannequin and be like, okay, these four things that's what we do at the office. That's what we do when we're shooting things. It's organized like that. Right? And then I can't ever figure out like I was putting these two necklaces on I'm like okay wait, which hole should I put it on so that they are so the right length and then I like tried to memorize it but then I never do I'm like wait this necklace is the first that's interesting that that even like see I don't think about that. See?

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nature to me that i don't i don't think that but that's the good. That's a great thing you learn, learn, learn if you have your eyes open like I wouldn't know that my customer is concerned about that. Or

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maybe in my layering sets. I need to put put it on the second hole if it does. If you have a bigger neck put this one on the third hole because we have extenders because everyone's neck I know but I also want to your Instagram when I was putting them on I was like wait, is the heart supposed to be like above the link chain or below it and I can't figure out which hole to put it on. You know there's no rules about it. I know but you want one or the other. See that where I don't mind the one covering look at these are covering each other. A little heart was going to be covered by the links I don't know and let's talk about the holes on your ears for a second. I would like to say most people think I have multiple

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Cuz I try to err on the side of a little bit edgy sometimes. But I have to be honest, I only have one hole in each year. Oh, my ears are bleeding. Don't say no. My daughter has my daughter who's 14. I've allowed her to do three and two. Yeah. Why are you allowing that shit? And I'm like, if that's the worst fucking thing she does.

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Oh my god, like, I haven't gotten like the parenting award. Yeah, exactly. Um, I don't know. I mean, if you want to get another piercing, I just, you know, I love a pierced ear. I do.

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Like all of the needed COEs, like, you know, like the double earring and all that I'm like, Well, I need a second hole. But my fear is I'm going to be 75 years old or 80. I'm going to have all these weird holes in my ears. You know what, nobody's looking at you in that hot way when you're 75 or 80.

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suits. Like, you'll have your little bonnet covering your little holes. I want to have fun with it. Now do it. Nobody's your village holes hurt because my daughter wants cartilage holes. But all her friends say they hurt. Yeah, I mean, yeah, that's a little bit but you know, but you don't care. It's all about the style, right? Oh, when I go to Dr. Wu when I go to my dermatologist unless it hurts. I'm like it's not working. Jessica, crank up the machine Jessica. I need to be in pain for I know. It's really turning the needles. Oh my gosh.

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It's funny that you say that because I have really small ear lobes. And they're really flat. Like I feel like they've lost their collagen. So when I went to Jessica Wu ones and I went to Jason diamond once I actually had them put filler in my ear lobes. I know people are probably listening going. What is she talking about? Yeah, well I was talking about it makes your ears look much better if you put a little filler and you do? Yes. I thought I was like the only person who did that because I asked for it. I don't know. Ah, you make sure it stiffens your because Hello as we get older those loads get flappy live flapping in the wind. Nobody loves but they're like pancakes. They're too flat. Yeah, I need your answer. So you need like a little more stiffness so that they had it or like if even if you have a nice diamond stud. That's good turned down. You don't want that that's not a good look. You need a little filler in there to make a little step. So it's like, but faces forward properly. Not a big deal. I know I do like that your earrings aren't heavy, because there's nothing grosser than like droopy ear lobes literally nothing grosser. We will refine and hearing 10 times. So it doesn't weigh down in here because it listen if I'm not going to wear it. I'm not going to put it out. Yeah, no, I because I definitely have like some major ear lobe issues. Yeah, you have three sons. So they're like totally missing out on your whole closet. I would enjoy at least if they wanted to wear some jewelry. I mean, my husband wears jewelry though. And my son actually wears a necklace. My dad wouldn't Yeah, my son has a really cute neck cute a cool necklace that we designed together. Yeah. And it's sort of like a john hardy ish kind of like black tarnish kind of thing. Yeah, says j A. M which are his initials. Sort of black faded that like diamond. Yeah, that's cool. It's very small. He thinks it adds like a little bit of like edge and flair, which I don't disagree with. But my daughter is kind of screwed because she's so much taller than I am. She can't wear any of my shoes. Her feet are so much bigger than mine. Oh my god, I know. And then you have three sons. I feel like we have to switch kids.

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Now in terms of like second half of life and keeping up our interior and exterior just like we've talked about with the ear lobes. I mean, I'm the first person to admit I like makeup I know you like makeup. Like what are your theories like personal philosophies on maintaining your exterior while you maintain your interior Don't fuck with my beauty routine is what I tell my husband What is your beauty routine any any like if he gives me shit about like oh you're going during this time to do that or this much cost this much? I'm like do not fuck with the beauty routine. What do you what are your main that's my that's my number one motto and honestly I do not. Do not and have not for maybe 1518 years put my skin in the sun ever. I don't either. Like I yeah, look at how good your skin looks. It's unbelievable. Yeah, but it's so I am it is a lot of work but I do it like I'm telling you like I don't even if there's if I'm under an umbrella

1:00:00

And I'm under the complete shade I still am slathered with white. You know I am it is not pretty at the beach with for me okay there's no frolicking in the beach with the little thing I am like a SPF full body suit. Like that's that's SPF if you're wearing the old lady bonnet on the beach 110% now what what sunscreen Do you use on your face I use Jessica is I use Jessica's. It's her 45 and it has it every single day, even if I'm not even going out of my house. That's so funny I do to tell you, I it's so great. I'm sitting right now in my house with all these windows around and the sun is coming in and you bet your bottom dollar I'm getting some damage from it. Oh, I'm sitting next to a window right now. And I when I wake up I put 50 SPF on even if like I have no plan of leaving because you know what? And I'll tell you what, look at that scan of yours. It's unbelievable. Yeah, I know. But I'm starting to get like melasma on brown spots. And I'm like dude, thanks for that. I'm using sunscreen. What's happening here now you need Jessica spade cream. I'll tell you exactly what you know. That was my side job. Do you know this is my spy job is telling my friend

1:01:15

for Yeah, what they need from the dermatologist. I'm like, Hey, give me a little filler just like in your upper cheek. Don't be Don't be afraid of a little bit of Botox in your chin because you got

1:01:26

me I never knew I needed Botox to my chin and to Jessica and Jason and they were like here we go. Yep, I'm not friend. I'm like listen, you're also going to get a little touch of under fit under eye filler. You're gonna love it and don't be afraid of Botox in your neck also, I don't because what what's happening to me is I'm having little bands that are just skin and I tried it I tried Botox and it doesn't help it so I'm trying lasers before I get like a full tuck of skin bun in the back of my head. Yeah, no, no, I know Jason diamond was like Sarah like there's no more neck work I could do a facelift he's like you could like shut up with a facelift because it's like the crepey skin but I do get Botox in my neck. And I will tell you that I can see the difference it doesn't help with the creepy but it knows what some of the rings Yes exactly. Which I love yeah mental I just you know I try to work out but I'm not like a crazy person or working out anymore. I'm just like make sure I get like a half an hour cardio in and then I do you know some weights. But that's you know, that's about it. So you're on like Tracy tutor who's like working out for two hours every morning now, but God bless her. I know I wish I had the mental capacity. I don't have the drive for it. I'm like I don't need my body to be like the rock body walking on the beach because by the way, as we know I'm wearing a full body suit covering up everything slathered in white SPS. There's nothing hot about me on the beach. Haha, yeah, but you're wearing a spandex skims Kardashian dress right now might I might add, but that Yeah, but that's covered. Oh my gosh, now Okay, let's talk about you. And I sort of had the same mantra for 2021 about being our own. Why and being our own special occasion. You and I both did that. Oh my god. Yeah. Holy shit girl that I got that from you. I did mine easy. It got to my like to over 2 million views on that people loved that. I mean, I only got 10,000. But I'm Maria. You're so funny. But I think it I think the message resonated so much with you. where it's like, Listen, I don't need a reason to wear this sparkly satin jacket, and whatever you want.

1:04:03

And put you know, lashes on and lipstick. Like you know what this special occasion is? Because I exist and I think yes, it's ongoing and I think that's pretty special.

1:04:14

See exact growth. There it is. No, I love me. It's from a girl. I don't remember her name. Oh my god. I loved that. Real so much. Because it's sort of been my mantra for a long time of Yes, I'm gonna put makeup on Yes, I'm gonna pull my shit together halfway for carpool. And anyone else? It's for myself. Exactly. 100% Look, I have a daughter in middle school. So it's definitely like a theme. It's like everyone just has to live in their own fucking lane and not comment on other people's stuff. Right. And you know, it's interesting, like, like,

1:04:54

you know, I'm sure you felt this way. I feel like I saw you say something like this.

1:05:00

On your podcast, like, Look, I'm putting myself out there having a podcast and I'm starting it late and I'm starting from nowhere and I'm a nobody starting out and, and all that stuff. And, you know, it's really easy for people to sit back in their houses not putting themselves out there and doing anything and judging, and that is that kind of shit. I have no tolerance for zero. And I'm a kind person until you do shit like that, like judge somebody or talk shit about somebody that's trying to start something and look, do I know when I put out like my ridiculously goofy reels or my Instagram stories or whatever, that people are going to snicker and you know, probably text things to each other, or whatever it is, but like gives a shit. I don't care. I know that that's the place you really want to achieve in your life is like you actually don't care about that. No, I care if somebody thinks that I'm kind No, or if I'm this, but I don't care. If somebody thinks that I look ridiculous. Doing my you know, the real that you and I did that we had such a great time, right? Or that you wearing a tutu running through your house? Exactly. Because that's who I am. And I think that if you're starting a new business, there is going to be that chatter in your head of feeling like oh, I'm just like, I'm nobody I'm starting out, or people are gonna think this is silly, whether it's consciously or subconsciously, but that's the kind of stuff you just have to shut off. You just have to tell yourself like, stop it. Yeah, like owning, like, I'm honored. Like, Hey, you guys, I'm at the time. I'm like, I was 45. I'm starting small. I have zero Instagram followers. I just opened this Instagram account. And here I am. Isn't embarrassing? Of course it is. I feel like if you own it, it's fine. Yeah, exactly. Now, in terms of your social media, like social media is a big thing for all of us. How do you manage the weight of all of that, like you run a huge company, you have a family? How do you manage the weight of a platform like that? That's like a 24 hour job. And honestly, I didn't really focus on it until about, I'd say,

1:07:21

three years ago, which is late, very late. Well, mine, mine was September, September, which is also late, but like, you know, for somebody that already has an established company early, late. And again, like that was just me being like, Oh, I should probably focus on this a little bit. It honestly wasn't until a year and a half ago, when I was like, Okay, I'm gonna be through two years ago, I was like, Alright, I'm the face of the brand I'm going to be, you know, I look at it is, it's a direct link to my customer. And that was really important to me, because when I came back into the business three years ago, I was like, I don't care about wholesale, I care about speaking directly to my customer. And she is, you know, cool. She is hard working. She is like, you know, there's a lot of things that we have in pillars that we set, we have different pillars that we have to make sure that we're hitting in order to post something, which is like, philanthropy, fashion, Family, Comedy, you know, it has to make you laugh, or something that makes you think, right, but yeah, I mean, it's its own beast, it's a lot. It's a lot, but it's really important for it's a very important flat platform, maybe we slide into DMS of huge instagramers and influencers and be like, Hey, we love your look, we'd love to send you a package. We don't know them. And I think it's pretty much 100% maybe 99% of people are like, Yeah, great. And they post you know, so it's like really powerful in those kinds of instances, especially if you have a product now are they always gonna post no influencers? I mean, I get sent tons of shit every week, and I'm not even an IT, you know, technically not an influencer, I you know, the face of my brand. But if I'm getting that much, they're getting 75 times more than that. So you don't always know if it's gonna work but it's just you know, or even like I you know, we're making a list because I want to do like a weekly. We haven't named it yet, but I just want to do a weekly like Instagram Live with people that I think are interesting to talk to. And I made a list of you know, and that's a way to just slide into those dams. And like, hey, Melinda wants to go on live with you. Do you have 30 minutes? Like she's just talking about interesting things or you know, things, how you build that type of view. And it's just really powerful like that, like, don't be afraid of sliding into people's DMS, have no idea who you are and asking them, Hey, I think you're at fab or can I think you're very cool. Can you be a part of what I'm doing? I mean, I also

1:10:00

Think that sliding into DMS might be easier than standing at Starbucks. And selling jewelry. I had no problem with this standing at Starbucks and doing that. But if you're, you know, again, like, if you're small, you're gonna get more nose like it's just how it works. But you're gonna get maybe one. Yes, you're in there, right? You never know what that's going to turn into and what that's going to turn into. So you gotta be scrappy. Now, how would you describe like your design aesthetic?

1:10:31

Mmm, Hmm. Interesting. I think it changes a lot. Like, again, like Converse, I like the Congress for tour I like like high end with the, you know, relaxed kind of feel like something that looks really chic, but effortless and relaxed. Mm hmm. And so you're so that's sort of like the jewelry that's, you know, a gold hoop with the spikes. So you have like the conservativeness of the hoop yet you have the edge of the spikes? Yeah, exactly. I love that. Now, what would you say the most meaningful part of your businesses today? I mean, there's so many facets to it that I love. So we're predominantly female, company,

1:11:15

female employee company. And so I love that part of it. I love the aspect that I get to support so many families with how many employees I have, I think I'm pretty proud of that. And I pretty, pretty cool. The collaborations are the people I get to work with. That's really fun.

1:11:35

I think God I still love and and completely and utterly obsessed with jewelry and fashion. So I can't believe that I get to do this and make money while doing it. That's kind of like a pinch me moment.

1:11:52

But I still don't sit back and think Oh, I'm so successful. Like I never, it's always, you know, what's happening? How do we sustain how do we grow? How do we I know it's an interesting thing, like no matter what level you're at, it's like some people say, Well, what are we get to 10,000 followers once I get to 20,000? Once I do, once I get that house once I get that thing. And what's so interesting about it is none of those things really satisfy us. I realized a long time I you have to just be happy where you're at know that, you know, if I were to tell myself even 10 years ago, what my company would be today, I would be like, holy shit. No, there's no way there is no way. Are you kidding me? That's crazy. But I'm no more happier than that I am now. So right. I definitely realized a long time ago that getting that next thing isn't going to bring me happiness. Now I think having more financial gains bring you more brings you more freedoms, and able to do more cool things and experiences. And that's, that does bring you happiness. Um, but I definitely, definitely realized to put aside that thought of like, Oh, well, if I could just be doing this much a year, or if I could just be doing this, like, that's when I'm gonna feel a little more like, oh, calm or happy. It just it doesn't work like that. Yeah, no, I agree with you. And I think a lot of us especially like in this sort of, like, second half of life, we're all having this itch for something more or something bigger. Yeah. I feel like no matter what car you buy, or what house you buy, or what, you know, Botox or facelift, or whatever you get, that's never going to solve that internal paying for wanting more of an identity or more something that's your own. You can't buy that. And that's the hardest part about this is it's like, you have to put the work in.

1:13:54

Yeah. And you've really done that and put the work in and it's taken you a long time. But it seems like you've enjoyed it a long way. And what would you say to people who are ready to like, throw in the towel and just be like, This podcast is too hard to do, or this thing is too hard to do. Like, how do you get back up when you feel like, Oh,

1:14:14

that's a good question. I've felt that many times of just like, God, this is just too stressful. It's just too stressful. But you know, there is some times where you should look at a business and be like, yeah, this just isn't working. Hey, if you're losing money, and you're just not making money, and that's you need to make money, then maybe it's time if you you know, exhausted all resources to you know, again, like if you don't love what you're doing, if you're just like getting out of bed, you're like, Oh, God, I don't want to do this. Like if that continues day after day, then you probably won't be happy doing what you're doing but but if you know you have a sustainable business, but something shit just happened. It's like, do you have any strategies for just

1:15:00

like, Okay, well and get the fuck back up. Let's go. Yeah, I mean, sometimes it takes a long time. Sometimes it takes a month. Sometimes it takes a couple months. Sometimes it takes one or two days. I mean, it's like resolve the problem that try to resolve the problem that you're having. And no, no, everyone has struggles Every business has. Every business has struggles, everyone, so that is comforting in some way for sure. Okay, now, before we wrap up, I want to do this little rapid fire section. Fun shit about Melinda, what's next on the bucket list? Oh,

1:15:36

my God. I didn't know I don't have a bucket list. Okay, so what's the next big thing that you're doing that we'll find out about? I'm sure there's a really really cool thing I'm doing at work and it's it will probably launch during the holidays and I'm super excited about but I can't tell you but you mean like next December? Yeah. Oh my god.

1:15:57

Long Okay. Anything that you have learned that's now on your bucket list after quarantine? No.

1:16:06

Shit I don't want to do anymore. It's like oh, but I already could do that. I have no problem saying I've gotten better at that. Now what I'm really I'm like an expert at that. If you ever need advice about that, just call me. I know. I know. I have very strong boundaries. I love that now. What do you have a secret pleasure. Many Twix bars donuts, TV. Oh, I mean I was boring. But the housewives I guess. Do you have a favorite location? Yeah, I only watched Beverly Hills New York in Orange County. Orange County is getting a little too like crazy for me but I do love that series. Greatest British baking show is also my favorite show. I've never heard of that. Oh my god Sorry, but I don't honestly watch much TV at all. I know neither of those are my to go twos. Now what about a favorite beauty treatment or beauty secret? Like what's like something you just couldn't live without?

1:17:02

Botox and Jessica.

1:17:05

Jessica will actually it's more Jessica and what about like a makeup item? Like I could never live?

1:17:12

What could not live without a lash curler? Which lash curler Do you like I like the Kevin Kwan. And shoe or more actually, I think produces his so you could either do sure more or Kevin Kwan. But I would never I have lash curlers if you know me. I have one in my makeup bag. I have one. In my bathroom. I have one in my work bag. I have one in my purse. I have one in my car and I have one at my desk. How many times a day do you use it? A couple. I know at least you do. You use it before you put mascara and after before but then midday if you don't if I have a little bit of mascara on. Still I still can use it but it used to be a little more careful because it sticks and you don't want to rip it off but rip it off the thing and then you're a couple lashes will come out if you could give me one thing that I couldn't live without. If I could only use one thing a day. You'll be laughed prouder. Oh, see, I feel like okay, what's your favorite mascara? I know you talk about that a lot on your show. Do your show. Okay, I use the YSL one. Looks good too. Do you do any woowoo things crystals meditation plant medicine standing on your head? No. I meditate every once in a while but no I don't. What's the last thing you ordered from Amazon? My kids having a birthday this weekend? I ordered jumbo smores marshmallows. It was intuition natural or did you have to work out? Yes. Yes. favorite snack? cherry tomatoes. Favorite workout routine? we kind of talked about that. Yeah, like walk run favorite t shirt. I know you're like a rocker t shirt person. I am a rocker t shirt. I definitely need a distressed t shirt. I will not wear a T shirt. If it's brand new. I'm either going to cut it with scissors or I'm going to rip it up somehow. It's against my grain. I can't wear a like nice t shirt God I like redone redone some cool t shirt. I do too. What about your favorite? Do you have a favorite gene brand? A Goldie Okay, what would your bottom line advice be on finding the sweet spot in the second half of life?

1:19:23

Why not me? If it's going to be anybody Why not me? I love that. That's fucking awesome. Yeah, it's gonna happen to somebody so why not me? Now that we have shit shoveled today. I hope you have loved Melinda's golden life nuggets as much as I have. Melinda I love digging deep with you with our golden shovels I'm sure yours are a bit dazzled with spikes and diamonds. Today on this podcast if listeners want to find you where can they find you? Instagram handle at Melinda Maria underscore jewelry. Linda Miranda calm cool.

1:19:59

Okay, everyone.

1:20:00

I want us to think about what shit we can start doing today. One small step and according to Melinda, why not you? Why not me, I want to thank Melinda for shining a bright light on her female entrepreneurial passions and advice for those of us looking to sell free create with potential businesses like my podcast are pursuing passions in the second half of life. I have loved our high low style chat of high low dressing and layering jewelry like a Christmas tray. It's so fun, and it has such great visual impact. I think I might need a layering tutoring lesson now. And thank you for the inspiration on how looking and feeling our best in the second half of life is just for us. It's just for ourselves. And hence this podcast, Melinda Spiegel of Melinda Maria jewelry. Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you so much, and I'm so proud of you.

1:21:01

Hey, it's me again. I listened to this episode with Melinda Maria so that I could summarize the golden nuggets for you. I know that when I listened to a long episode, I'm like, Oh my god, I love that. And now I can't even remember what the podcaster even said. In this episode, we found the sweet spot in discovering Melinda's female entrepreneurial secrets and advice that helped her follow her passions and look fucking amazing. While we are doing it. We talked about the path, some of her obstacles and any strategy she used to overcome those obstacles. Golden Nugget number one, you will be successful if you are passionate about what you are doing. Melinda is a creative person and knew she didn't want a regular job doctor lawyer teacher salesmen. She knew she wanted to work in an environment where she was able to express her artistic side. She started as an assistant in production being a makeup artist and selling jewelry on the side in Starbucks around LA and her boyfriend who's her now husband at the time, told her pick one thing you love and put everything into that golden nugget. Number two, you can always learn something new from someone. Melinda explains that she looks to her women entrepreneurial friends who share and talk about dealing with obstacles, challenges and successes in running successful businesses. Melinda also mentioned that you can never stop learning and everyone has some new information to offer no matter who they are or what they do. Golden Nugget number three, do something you love. start running a business. It's extremely hard. And it's even harder if you aren't passionate about it. Melinda tells us that you should love what you do or there's no point in continuing. It's hard work. Passion breeds success. When you are passionate about what you do. You're able to pour your whole self into it and really try to make it successful. And people can really tell if you're giving it your all or not Golden Nugget number four. Don't be scared to just start. A lot of people have dreams of creating their own brands or businesses, but get nervous about things and ask themselves questions like are people gonna like it? How do I grow my business? I don't have any experience and I just don't know how to start. Melinda explains the best thing to do is research the marketplace. See what's missing? What can you offer, create a name a logo and just get started from there. Golden Nugget number five, put yourself out there and be scrappy. No matter how many times you get turned down. You can't let those few times discourage you. If you truly want to start your own business and be a success, you have to be willing to be knocked down. But even more determined to get right back up. You have to put yourself out there and make it happen being scared and doing it anyway. Golden Nugget number six. Everyone gets discouraged and has struggles but you have to push through it. Getting over a funk where things don't seem to be working can be really hard but you have to push through. A lot of times we see successful businesses and think oh they must have an easy and never struggled through anything. In reality most new businesses and new business owners struggled. You can't compare your year one or year two with someone else's your 10 the gold is dripping off these nuggets, grab it, use it the resources and products mentioned in this episode are in the show notes. Go to the flexible neurotic comm click on episodes and then click on show notes. please go to my website, the flexible neurotic.com there's so much there, subscribe to the podcast and sign up for the sweetspot newsletter. It will give you exclusive updates about my podcast and secret golden nuggets that are not mentioned in the episodes cool stuff. Also follow my Instagram at the flexible neurotic talk soon.

1:24:55

Good peeps. Thank you so much for listening. If you enjoyed

1:25:00

finding our sweet spot today and digging through layers of shit with your golden shit shovel the Subscribe, Subscribe, subscribe. DM me on Instagram at the flexible neurotic. Tell me which golden shit nuggets resonated with you, the ones that you're going to start using today to start getting your shit together to find our sweet spots, screenshot it, send it to a friend. This is Dr. Sarah Milken, the flexible neurotic, inspiring you to gather, curate, incorporate, maybe even meditate