Lucky Girl Syndrome, Quantum leaping, Main Character Energy & Getting Unstuck Now!
Margot 00:00:00 All the self-talk. So I stopped pushing myself. I started speaking up for myself. I started having boundaries. I started getting a vision, and then I had to, like, act like that version of myself and make that my job.
Sarah 00:00:15 Hey peeps, welcome to the Flexible Neurotic Podcast. I'm your host, doctor Sarah Milken. Yeah, you heard that right. I'm a real PhD doctor. Long, long ago, like last fucking year, I was sitting in the midlife funk wondering, was this it for me? That day, I realized I needed to get off my ass and start my midlife remix. I dusted off my PhD, wipe the menopause sweat off my forehead, grabbed my golden shit shovel, and started digging deep to all my midlife bitches. It's not just luck, coffee, and hormones that get you through your midlife remix. It's action steps. Let's do this. Welcome back to the Flexible Neurotic podcast, The Midlife Self Reinvention Podcast, where we talk about all the Uggs and fabulous cities of midlife.
Sarah 00:01:07 I'm Doctor Sarah Millican, the flexible neurotic. Today I have a rad guest. She just drove up from Newport Beach. We're both in a slight sweat, although she's quite a bit younger than I am. She is a CEO and founder of Unapologetic Success. Such a good name, and we're going to get into all of that and talk about her amazing social platform that has had over 40 million views across all the different platforms. I'm like, Holy moly, she's a licensed family and marriage therapist. She's a life coach, entrepreneur. So many things I want to get started. Margo Miller. Hi, I'm so happy to have you here. We met on Instagram. I mean, it's so hot and sexy, so sexy, so good. I'm obsessed with your Instagram. We're going to get into that today. tell us about you because I know you have a backstory. You had a sickness. You called it the corpse era. Such a fabulous name. Not fabulous that you were sick, but such a good little kind of lingo term to capture that because you basically went from corpse era to fucking fabulous.
Sarah 00:02:21 And now your mission in life is to bring other women along on that journey of saying fuck to fear and becoming their best selves. You nailed it. So tell us about your corpse era.
Margot 00:02:33 Yeah, so a little backstory behind the corpse era. I've had a lot of different iterations. I've always been off the beaten path, which is why I think we connect.
Sarah 00:02:43 We've already talked about so many random things before this started. We're like best friends, literally. We've been talking about diarrhea. We've been talking about kids, all of it.
Margot 00:02:52 Insta besties. Yes.
Sarah 00:02:54 So yeah.
Margot 00:02:55 So I had, like, a pretty kind of normal trajectory. Well, I wouldn't say that I was actually born with a birthmark on my face, so I was always a little like I always had some different things going on. So while most kids were just, you know, playing around, I was actually one of the first kids to kind of undergo these surgeries. I was on the news for it.
Sarah 00:03:16 Was it like one of the red ones?
Margot 00:03:17 Yes.
Margot 00:03:18 Yeah. It's called the Port Wine Stain. Yes. I thought I was famous, but lo and behold, that's actually, like, not what you want to have going on with your kid, because you know how.
Sarah 00:03:28 Fabulous that you like, thought it was a unique thing. And totally. It's amazing. Good parenting.
Margot 00:03:33 Good parenting. Yeah. I was like, this is iconic. And then there were like, all right, we're going to actually try to get rid of it, right? So how did major surgeries growing up as a kid always felt like a little different? got to college was a party animal. My nickname was Hank the Tank.
Sarah 00:03:48 No, I'm going to choke Hank the tank. But you're like a six foot supermodel.
Margot 00:03:53 Okay, So I would like walk into parties and people would be like Hank the Tank and then the beast would emerge. It was just my alter ego. So Hank would, like, be found in the dark eating raw potatoes.
Sarah 00:04:05 Mine would be like Aunt Edna, I mean.
Sarah 00:04:11 Find me like sour grapes. Okay. Yeah.
Margot 00:04:14 So, Hank the tank eventually sank. had to get sober really young. Never had a legal drink.
Sarah 00:04:19 Oh. Do you have, like, a whole allegory about it? So good. Are we gonna have, like, a children's like story? Yeah. Okay. Yes.
Margot 00:04:29 It's gonna live on. Okay. so then I kind of entered into, like, a normal era where I was, like, going to school, but I just was like, this isn't for me. Like, I'm not meant to be in an office setting. Long story short, I entered my corpse era. So just one day, like, couldn't walk. And I was like, whoa, this is different. So I spent like years just going to doctors, and I was like, fuck it, I'm not getting any better. I was like, I'm just gonna live my best bedridden life. So I moved to LA and I just let my freak flag fly.
Margot 00:05:00 And that's actually how I started my career.
Sarah 00:05:02 This is when I was reading about that. I was like, I don't get it. What?
Margot 00:05:06 Yeah.
Sarah 00:05:07 Did you take medication? Did you?
Margot 00:05:09 There was so there's no cure. So doctors were like, you're going to die. Then they're like, you're going to get cancer. Like. And then I just kept getting these crazy diagnoses. No one really knew what was going on. Like, my bloodwork would come back fine, but then you're normal. Yeah. And then some would just be like, you're depressed. I'm like, well, depressed people can walk, so I don't think that's it. so then I was like, this is actually making me feel worse. So like, if there's no cure.
Sarah 00:05:31 I'm just gonna live it.
Margot 00:05:32 I'm just gonna drink a shit ton of coffee and, like, go do what I can do. Wow. So I moved to LA and was like, that was my mission was literally to just have fun.
Margot 00:05:42 At that point, I was like, well, it can't really like get any. How did you support yourself?
Sarah 00:05:45 Did your parents help you? Yeah, my.
Margot 00:05:46 Family helped me out during that time. Okay. And so I was doing actually like a little bit of like coaching. I've always been working with people in different iterations. I've been mentoring people since I was like 20. Then I was doing you have.
Sarah 00:05:58 All These degrees to. Yeah.
Margot 00:05:59 So I'm back in school right now, getting my doctorate in business psychology. So I've always been like, even when I've been like corp C, I always still had this, like, mega ambition.
Sarah 00:06:11 I'm like, half not alive. Okay. Yeah.
Margot 00:06:14 When I was, like, skeletal. Yeah. Dead in bed. You still can get some stuff done. Yeah. Like, I mean, I was staring at the wall like, most of the time, but I was still able to, like, work with people a little bit here and there doing, you know, a few clients with coaching and things like that.
Margot 00:06:28 And I found that that would be like the only thing that gave me energy, like I would be full blown corpse. I'd do a session with someone and I'd be like, perk up a little, right?
Sarah 00:06:35 Because I've got a purpose.
Margot 00:06:36 Yeah. And that's what it was. And it was like I just kept following the thing.
Sarah 00:06:39 But they didn't know you were in bed when you were on the phone.
Margot 00:06:41 No, they certainly didn't.
Sarah 00:06:43 Yeah. I'm like, oh, my great life coach is completely delirious and exhausted. That's fucking awesome.
Margot 00:06:49 People actually love the fact that I just didn't give a fuck. So people were coming to me to get more of that, like freedom thing. I wasn't leading with my, like, therapy. It was more just like, how the fuck do you have that confidence? And I'm like, well, my life kind of went to shit, so I've nothing to lose. But people fed off of that. And so that's kind of how my career started, and I just followed the thing that gave me the energy, because that's all I had at that point was like, I could only do the things that gave me energy eventually, long story short, I healed.
Margot 00:07:16 I'm fully recovered. I've been jet setting the world. I'm in perfect health now.
Sarah 00:07:20 Okay, so you have this company, Unapologetic Success, which I see on Instagram like you're like always launching in the UK. How does the UK fit into all of this?
Margot 00:07:31 So my business partner slash like marketing manager, she lives in the UK, so she has built out some of the big brands that we're all familiar with. She's worked with some of the lead coaches and so she knows the industry ins and outs, and she's kind of like my right hand with everything, with my business. So she knows everything between like funnels and all the tech stuff. She knows everything, basically. So she lived.
Sarah 00:07:53 With me because I'm like, why? I don't get it. I'm like, how do you do an attachment to an email?
Margot 00:07:58 Like, no, literally, she had to like, teach me how to use zoom. Yeah.
Sarah 00:08:02 It's bad. Well, I just torture my husband. He's like, I like, run a company.
Sarah 00:08:06 Like I'm not your fucking assistant. I'm like, oh, but you are my you are. You actually are.
Margot 00:08:11 That's amazing. Like, that's a reason to get married.
Sarah 00:08:13 Well, I mean, I've known him since I was 13. He better be my assistant at this point.
Margot 00:08:17 That's like, unheard of. So how many years have you guys been together now?
Sarah 00:08:20 Like 28. Oh, my God, we've never broken up. Isn't that crazy? I know there's no drama. Like nothing. Isn't that weird? I'm not saying it's a perfect relationship and that we don't have our ups and downs, but yeah, we've had like 100 hairstyles, 100 different ways. It's like pregnancy. And I were not a good look. Really? No. You know, people think I'm a cute. Yeah. Yeah. A pretty pregnant. Yeah. No no no. When I show them photos, like, Can we?
Margot 00:08:46 Yeah. Can you, can you show one?
Sarah 00:08:47 If I knew how to pull it up on my phone, but I could definitely DM it to you.
Sarah 00:08:51 DM me. It's not a good look, really. It was like £70 of, I mean, my husband called me the linebacker. My neck was like, is twice his neck. No, I'm just telling you, it was not a good yes. It was like in the neck in my rib cage. And then my first kid was a C-section and, like, at the breast at my house for the circumcision. So such a fun moment in life. Yeah. I guess I had gained £15 of water weight from, like, all the medications and, you know, whatever from the C-section. I couldn't wear shoes. I had 100 people in my house. I cannot even tell you what level of confidence you have to have to look like. Hank the tank. Okay. Yeah. Not be able to wear shoes and have 100 people at your house to have your baby circumcised. I was like, what is happening here? Yeah. And then I was like, I have to do this shit again, right? The second kid.
Sarah 00:09:46 But, you know, I was actually much better looking with the second one. And it was a girl. It's supposed to be the other way around. No way. Yeah, I mean, I'm not saying it was great, right? But by comparison, it was, like, breathtaking. I was like, okay, I'm not a linebacker anymore. Whatever the one down from a linebacker is.
Margot 00:10:01 Yeah. Junior. Hank.
Sarah 00:10:02 Exactly what you're saying, junior.
Margot 00:10:04 Yeah, yeah.
Sarah 00:10:05 But the kids are great. It was all came out.
Margot 00:10:08 Yeah, in the end.
Sarah 00:10:09 I came back down together. It all works out now. I mean, my husband and I are still managing to keep it together, but. Yeah, I don't even know how we got on that stuff. I can.
Margot 00:10:19 Hang in there with.
Sarah 00:10:19 Hank. Oh my God. Yeah. So we've been together 27,000 years. I know I.
Margot 00:10:24 Can barely get past, like, a third date. So this is.
Sarah 00:10:27 Inspo.
Sarah 00:10:28 I mean, you just have to roll with it. That's all I'm going to say. And like we were talking about before, I think you have to find a person that compliments. You can't have the exact same because then you have like a class.
Margot 00:10:41 You date.
Sarah 00:10:41 Yourself. Yeah. No one. You have to have someone like people always say like, what's your biggest piece of advice for marriage? And I would say it's for us. It's like a co-creation project, like every you're in charge of every iteration of that relationship. And it's not just one person. It's like two people coming together. What what are your skill sets? What's your wheelhouse? Because there's so much shit my husband won't do and so many things I won't do. Yeah. So it's good that we kind of come head to head like he's OCD. We can't share a closet because I'm a fucking disaster. Like, I'm literally like a hoarder. Really? Like, oh my God, I don't want to give away my clothes.
Margot 00:11:23 I can help you with that.
Sarah 00:11:24 Really? Yeah. Oh, my God, you're going to reprogram my brain.
Margot 00:11:27 Going to.
Sarah 00:11:27 Yeah. We're going to talk. I'm going.
Margot 00:11:28 To come over and actually help you with.
Sarah 00:11:30 That. No, it's a problem. My husband has like 12 shirts. They're all the.
Margot 00:11:33 Same. Yeah.
Sarah 00:11:34 I'm more like it's like, yeah, it's like a uniform.
Margot 00:11:36 Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah.
Sarah 00:11:37 And he's like, you don't need 18 of the same tank tops with a slightly different fringe on them. I'm like, no, but I do. And I need to pull out the one from ten years ago, right? It's a.
Margot 00:11:48 Problem. Memories. Yeah.
Sarah 00:11:49 Yeah. but our new house had separate closets in separate bathrooms.
Margot 00:11:53 Oh, my. Wait. That's cold.
Sarah 00:11:55 No, you don't understand. But it ruins you because we were just in a hotel room for two weeks together. Oh, not not a good go for so.
Margot 00:12:04 Well.
Sarah 00:12:04 I mean, I think he just really held it together, and he doesn't even use drugs, but he really held it together because it was a lot for him.
Sarah 00:12:13 Like, my nightstand looks like World War two. You know, like, the bathroom's covered in a suitcase of toiletries, and he's the one who has, like, the toothbrush, the deodorant and the razor. And you're like, what are you, like, live in the army? Like, I have 87,000 things. Then I wash my underwear after ten days. So I hung up all my wet underwear, and he was like, where are we? Like, we need to get home. So we have our separate shit again. Yeah, it's a problem.
Margot 00:12:42 I'm curious though, because I am a little more OCD. Yeah. What is that like? Do you ever get anxiety when you see the mess or does it bring you peace? Are you like it's freedom?
Sarah 00:12:50 No, it totally gives an anxiety. Like 100%. Yeah. Like because you're like, oh my god. Like I don't want to walk into my closet because it's a shit pile. Yeah. But I also am not I love to think about organization.
Sarah 00:13:04 Yeah. I just don't implement organization.
Margot 00:13:07 Yeah. You're a visionary. I'm not an expert.
Sarah 00:13:10 But I do not want to implement it. Like, I love all the socks folded in the drawer.
Margot 00:13:15 Right.
Sarah 00:13:16 But you're not. But I'm not doing the sock folding. Yeah. You know, so then if there isn't someone to do that, then it's not happening, right? Right. So it's fine. I just have to wing it. My husband's a little not is less good at winging it.
Margot 00:13:28 Yeah I could.
Sarah 00:13:29 Yeah. He's he could do carry on. Okay. Carrie and I are not friends. Yeah. Ever. No my carry on is only toiletries. Oh. Only toiletries.
Margot 00:13:40 Oh my God, what is that? The actual. Are you always having to pay, like, 200 over?
Sarah 00:13:45 Yeah, but that's not my problem. Yeah.
Margot 00:13:46 It's his. Yeah.
Sarah 00:13:48 Not my.
Margot 00:13:49 Problem. No, not at all.
Sarah 00:13:50 And we went on a 16 day college trip with my daughter to go look at all the colleges over spring break.
Sarah 00:13:55 That was really fun. and he decided he was going to do carry on. My daughter and I were so far past carry on. Yeah. It was insane. You're like we're.
Margot 00:14:06 Moving in.
Sarah 00:14:06 Basically. Yeah. So he watched YouTube videos on how to maximize his clothing. So he found the 72 hour wool shirt. Oh okay. What's that a 72 hour wool shirt. You can wear it for three fucking days. Yeah. And this is a guy who's, like, very well put together. Amazing clothes. They're all the same, but they're like, you know what I mean? Like, yeah, there's a predictability. It's like a very high end ups uniform. And he was wearing the same shirt for three days and I was like, he had one cashmere sweater, the same shirt, like maybe he had four because what, four times three is 12? And then he had a few dress shirts. That's all he had. And he had 1 or 2 pairs of shoes, I think one I had 12 like that doesn't work for me.
Sarah 00:14:57 It's such a weird thing. I don't even know how we got on this topic, but we're going to have to untrain me. Yeah. So that leads me into, okay, you're back to your business. Tell me what you're doing for people and how you can help people like me from whatever age to whatever age, like figure out how to save fear in life and, like, get on to doing cool things for themselves.
Margot 00:15:22 Yeah. So in my corpse era, yes, this is going to sound a little weird, but I was doing a lot of meditating, like, a lot, because I was trying to, like, rewire my own brain back to health. And I followed a lot of Doctor Joe Dispenza.
Sarah 00:15:35 That kind of stuff. I mean, I love it, but I don't do it totally. I mean, that's I'm an expert at that, for sure. I love reading about the sauna. I love pretty cold plunges, don't ask me.
Margot 00:15:44 Visionary. Yeah. Visionary.
Sarah 00:15:46 That's such a good word.
Sarah 00:15:47 I know. Is that more like lazy folk?
Margot 00:15:50 We're not going to use that language. We like vision, Princess.
Sarah 00:15:54 Okay? Yeah, we like princess. Visionary, high maintenance.
Margot 00:15:57 Yes.
Sarah 00:15:57 Whatever.
Margot 00:15:58 Yeah, we love it. So during my, you know, reprogramming of my own mind era, I, kind of unlocked my intuitive gifts. And then I started doing, like, theta healing, which is like subconscious reprogramming on my friends. And then it kind of took off like wildfire and spread through word of mouth. I started working with, like, celebrities and, you know, just kind of like, took off. So that's how I got started in the modality that I'm currently using, which is basically therapy on steroids. It's fast.
Sarah 00:16:28 Tracking. Like, tell me like, I mean, we could use my closet hoarding whatever, Like how does it.
Margot 00:16:34 Okay, so here's a way to do it. So I teach people how to actually test what they're holding because it's one thing to just be like here's some affirmations.
Margot 00:16:41 Run with it. Tell yourself this.
Sarah 00:16:43 I am safe. Yeah. But it's like.
Margot 00:16:45 What is that even? First of all, we don't even know there's a part of your brain that could think that. And that's not even what you're holding. Right? So I would have you muscle test certain beliefs and see what you believe to be true. Yeah. So there's a way to do it. It's using kinesiology. Have you ever been to a chiropractor? And they give you, like, a vitamin. And you're checking to see if I think I.
Sarah 00:17:04 Haven't had it done to me, but I've seen it on Instagram. There you go. Okay. There you.
Margot 00:17:08 Go. So it's like that, but using your belief systems in your mind. And then you can also look at like your lineage program, soul programs. It just is like a one stop shop to clear it all.
Sarah 00:17:18 Okay. Are we doing this after this episode?
Margot 00:17:20 Literally, we are around the hoarding, right?
Sarah 00:17:23 Yeah, right here on this rug.
Margot 00:17:25 Okay, so I would even, like, get a little out there with it and like look at, like, maybe past times of, like, starvation or poverty, where that's like running the lineage. Because there's a reason.
Sarah 00:17:35 My dad is an extreme hoarder.
Margot 00:17:36 There we go. So it's probably a lineage thing that you've picked up.
Sarah 00:17:39 But if you walked into my house, you wouldn't know.
Margot 00:17:42 Yeah, it's probably like a hidden. Yeah.
Sarah 00:17:43 There's no like right there. Not visible. Yeah, exactly. I mean, my closet is. But we close that door, right?
Margot 00:17:49 Yes. It doesn't mean that you're like, you walk in and like.
Sarah 00:17:52 Yeah, yeah, I like water in the kitchen. So it looks like I'm very totally.
Margot 00:17:56 Yeah, yeah. Or just like where letting go would, you know, we would look at like, beliefs around letting go and things like that.
Sarah 00:18:02 Like I'm a control freak.
Margot 00:18:05 That's one way to say okay.
Sarah 00:18:07 Yeah.
Margot 00:18:07 I would look at, you know, liking things a particular way.
Sarah 00:18:11 Is it hypnosis. Like what does it actually look like.
Margot 00:18:13 Like, yeah. So basically it would be like an in-depth digging experience where I'm asking you these deep questions and we're getting to the root. So it's like if you were to go outside and mow your lawn, you wouldn't want to just it's just going to keep growing back, growing back. So I go in and I like pull out from the root bottom. So it's like it's just no longer there. So we're clearing the root stuff. And then we reprogram and bring in the new beliefs. We check everything to make sure it cleared and it's steady. And then people feel like a lot lighter. And you keep doing that and eventually your old identity is gone.
Sarah 00:18:46 So how many sessions does one do?
Margot 00:18:48 I've seen crazy things from one session, like wild things have happened. Obviously it depends on how long something's been running. Right? So like you've had paralyzing anxiety your entire life. I'm like 60 minutes is not very much time to completely shift, but I've seen crazy things happen in a very short amount of time.
Sarah 00:19:11 Now, do people think you're crazy?
Margot 00:19:13 Yeah, but they have my whole life like I'm very.
Sarah 00:19:16 So you own your crazy.
Margot 00:19:17 100% like I don't. To me, I look at, like a normal people and I'm like, whoa, how are you guys doing that?
Sarah 00:19:25 Right, right, right. How are you? Just doing your, like, everyday boring shit.
Margot 00:19:28 Literally, like, I'm like, I couldn't, like, sit at a desk, like, I, you know, I gotta be tuning into people's souls, like, so, you know, to each their own.
Sarah 00:19:37 Do you think, looking back on it, you always had that?
Margot 00:19:39 Yeah. As a little kid, I was so highly sensitive. My mom had to, like, get books on it if, like, I was just very empathic and very, like, overwhelmed by life as a little kid, but also full of life and very energetic.
Sarah 00:19:51 Yeah, yeah. But you were very observant and understood what was going on.
Sarah 00:19:54 Totally. That's so interesting. So who's your average, like, client? Like who's coming to you? Like, do you have midlife women who are like, what the fuck's next for me? I'm bored out of my mind. I'm have ants in my pants. I gotta find something outside of my kids and my spouse and all the things.
Margot 00:20:11 Yeah, I get a lot of people who reach the pinnacle of what our society tells us is success. And oftentimes they're like, okay, well, now what? Or like this wasn't exactly what I had in mind. So it's like sometimes there's these voids of like, well, now what do I do? Or what do I actually want? I've already achieved this, you know, x, y, z, I have this, what's the next step for me? So I get a lot of that. I get work with a lot of female entrepreneurs who are ready to go to their next level, and they've done a lot of work on themselves. They just need help, like catapulting to that next iteration of themselves or their business.
Margot 00:20:45 A lot of times people want to pivot something, but they need some of that like energy going on. Right. so that's kind of my like zone of genius, I would say.
Sarah 00:20:53 And so what are like the specific kind of things that you do with the client, is it all like you're talking to them, or is it that you're like actually going into their back end of their website? Like what? Like what does it look like?
Margot 00:21:06 So I am not a business coach, but I help a lot of people with content with finding their authentic voice. A lot of it is like when we dissolve survival programs like people pleasing or always being the caretaker, always being the giver. You know, a lot of what women are specifically taught when we dissolve that, it's kind of like we come back home to our authentic self, and a lot of time we have to kind of have this dissolving void period where it's like, maybe people have a friends cleanse, they go through a breakup. So it's like big, like transition.
Sarah 00:21:34 I've heard that. I've heard friends audit, but I haven't heard friends cleanse you.
Margot 00:21:38 So it's like this big dissolving of the old self, old life. And then usually what happens is people kind of coming back into their power. They start shifting their identity. And then from that place they rebuild whatever it is they pivot in their business or they start pivoting their content, or they burn their old business down and do something completely different. So it's really just figuring out what it is that's like their most authentic next expression of themselves and helping them have the courage to go after that. So it's a lot of content, you know, playing around with that and their beliefs about what's possible. So a lot of times people build these incredible careers, but then their love life is shit. Because as women were not taught that we can have it all or that it's easy to have it all. So sometimes it's just bringing in that they can have everything.
Sarah 00:22:22 What's your favorite part of what you do?
Margot 00:22:26 I love when I see women who have come out of relationships like narcissistic abuse or toxic relationships, and zero part of them believes what their abusive partner told them and they're like, what the fuck was I like thinking? And they totally reclaim their power.
Margot 00:22:45 They go all in on their dreams and it starts to happen in a way shorter amount of time like that. To me, it's like the comeback story that I saw.
Sarah 00:22:52 So are you like on the sidelines with them like as their coach? Oh yeah.
Margot 00:22:56 I am like, I have a very high touch container. There's different ways to work with me, but I really like the 1 to 1 where I can go super deep with people and support them and make a lot of change in a very short. I'm like the fast track, like people don't come to me if they're like wanting someone to like, yeah, I'm like, let's go. Yeah, yeah, I am not like, let's go back in the past and talk.
Sarah 00:23:16 About everything I saw on your Instagram. You call it the Power Hour thinking like what? Yeah. Like what? What what happens in that hour, Margo?
Margot 00:23:24 Yeah, it depends on where everyone's. I need a power. It just depends what people are looking for.
Margot 00:23:30 So sometimes it's like they want to go to the next level of finances. Sometimes it's getting the courage to pivot something. Sometimes it's calling in their soul mate, but having a lot of beliefs or a scarcity mindset around that. So I'm really like a mindset mentor, okay, both conscious and subconscious. And I teach people how to use their minds to create their reality.
Sarah 00:23:49 Wow. And so I also read that you kind of call it this, getting into your main character energy. I feel like that's like a good way of describing it, especially for midlife women in my space, because I think we're so used to not being like main character or like main fucking manager, main valet, main character. Yeah. Supporter. Main. Like I forgot my baseball pants. Can you drive back to school? Yeah. so it's, I think it's hard for midlife women to kind of. Maybe they never had main character energy, who knows? Everyone's different, but kind of either getting it back or recreating it or having it for the first time, like maybe they never had it.
Sarah 00:24:37 what is your advice for trying to get that main character energy in your life? Yeah. And why is it so important?
Margot 00:24:47 So that is my target audience. It's the ones who've always been in the supporting role giving, giving, giving. And so part of it, the most common theme that I found is there's higher levels of guilt and shame, you know, and so a lot of it is dissolving that and coming back into balance. So the reason I branded it unapologetic success is I'm speaking to the women who didn't feel worthy enough to claim the spotlight for the women who have exhausted themselves, sacrificing, thinking that that was like the noble thing to do, and it got them not where they wanted to be in life. So I'm not speaking to the narcissist who needs to maybe do some self-reflecting and apologizing. Speaking to that caliber, your audience, the women who don't even know what it feels like or feel like they're allowed to be the main character of their life, and they have all this guilt and shame, or think that it's selfish and have a bad relationship with selfishness.
Margot 00:25:42 And it's like finding that balance and realizing that they can actually support and live out their dreams from a place of overflow. And there's just a whole different way of life once they understand what's available to them.
Sarah 00:25:55 And how do you help women under, like get over that kind of like guilt and shame part? Like, are you basically like setting up a thing where they're going out and doing some specific activity and then like reporting back to you, like, what's the accountability part of your coaching? Great question. Because I could fucking say I'm going to do things all day long, which I do like. Oh, I'm in a sauna. Never have done it. I'm going to intermittent fast. Don't do that either. I mean, you know what I mean? I do a lot of things. Yes, but I can't do everything and I don't want to do everything. Yeah.
Margot 00:26:28 Great question. So first things first I come at things from all angles. Right. So it's like what you think is the actions you're taking, how you see yourself.
Margot 00:26:36 So at the foundation of it all, it's upgrading people's identities. And when you upgrade your like relationship with yourself, how you think about yourself, the action gets a lot easier. But also people sometimes think it's way harder than it is. So I find what works for you like I would be like specifically, what are the things that you're actually going to do or what's like one thing that you can hold on to. Like if you've always felt rejected your entire life, I would give someone the affirmation that, like, they're the chosen ones, so they're going to literally before they open their eyes, be like, I am the chosen one of my life. Like everyone chooses me, I it's safe for me to be the chosen one. I love myself so much it's safe for me to be on my own pedestal and, like, dethrone everyone else and feel what it actually feels like because we're we are shamed for that as women.
Sarah 00:27:21 Are you so are you sort of faking it to make it? No, that's.
Margot 00:27:25 That's a big difference. It's not faking it. It's becoming and playing a new character and it's actually all it's in us already. We are born confident and free and charismatic and connected. We get shamed by society, and we're programmed to not be that way. So we're basically it's a like coming home to your true self.
Sarah 00:27:47 Wow. Okay. I'm I'm thinking thinking thinking. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Margot 00:27:51 But so I have a methodology that actually clears the program. So it's not on the client to do all the work. I'm the one doing the heavy lifting, clearing a lot of stuff, and then it makes their path a lot easier.
Sarah 00:28:02 So is it hypnosis ish?
Margot 00:28:04 Sort of. Yeah. It combines spirituality and science. So it's backed by, you know. Yeah, science. It's not just like.
Sarah 00:28:11 Woo woo woo.
Margot 00:28:12 Woo.
Sarah 00:28:12 Yeah, I know it works.
Margot 00:28:13 But it's more of a experiential thing. So it's one thing to kind of be like, all right, here's what we do.
Margot 00:28:18 But it's another thing to kind of sit in the driver's seat and feel the shift that happens. And then it gets a lot easier for people to take action or become that version of them. Once all the programs are, like starting to dissolve and it's a little bit you.
Sarah 00:28:32 So so you're basically an accountability coach also. So if I say to you like Margot, I'm gonna, I don't know, send those three emails to those book publishers like am I reporting back to you?
Margot 00:28:44 So for me, I come at it from a different angle. So if somebody is not taking action, I get curious about what their subconscious is trying to protect them from. So I come at it always from the angle of you're in survival mode, how can we get you out of it? Okay, I'm not like, oh, you're not doing what you're supposed to be doing. I'm like, what is what part of you're being is trying to protect you? What part of you thinks that if you were to get this result, it would be a negative consequence? Then we clear the fear.
Sarah 00:29:11 Yeah. Because, like, I'm, I'm the best procrastinator known to man. Yeah. It's not. Sometimes I feel like if I'm under pressure, it makes me move faster. So like, I'll wait until the last second, whereas other things, I'll start six months in advance. But there's no rhyme or reason. Yes to when, how and what my husband's like. Why are you starting to clean out your closet when we're going on a trip tomorrow? Yeah, I'm like, because I'm already halfway fucking in trying to pull out 86 outfits, and I'm realizing that none of these jeans fit, so I'm deciding to throw them into the corner. Yeah, but it's like I picked the worst times. And he's like, what's the psychology behind that? I'm like, I don't know, I'm just fucked up, I don't know.
Margot 00:29:52 Yeah. So I come at it from an angle of being like, all right, what's right about this? So like, if you need a little fire under your fanny right before crunch time, if that works for you, it works for you.
Margot 00:30:02 But I would be curious and I'd get curious about what you actually believe. And I would do a process called digging to see what your subconscious believes, that if it was, like too easy, like if you because a lot of times it's like that that stress. So I would look at your beliefs around what you think life would be like if everything was too easy for you, would you be bored if you didn't have a little bit of that stress or that pressure under you? Like, I would get curious about that.
Sarah 00:30:24 And then how would you change that? Like when I was driving here and I was I was telling you about how my daughter is not feeling well in Europe and it's a whole thing and whatever. And I was on the phone with my husband. He's like, honestly, like, everything is so complicated, like with us and like, not in like a woes me, but like, I don't know, like the average kids, like, maybe not getting sick in Europe, you know what I mean? Like, why are we dealing with this shit? And I was like, no, but it's fine, it's fine.
Sarah 00:30:52 But like, how do you not get into that? Like woe is me mentality? Because I feel like in midlife your hormones are fogged so many days you feel like, well, and it's like it's so easy to get in that like, okay, well, I'm already 55. I'm already 60. Like, it doesn't fucking matter. I'm not going to lift weights. It's too much work. Like, how do you get out of that?
Margot 00:31:14 Yeah, well, the first step is like, that's all programming, right? Because, like, why can't we have our best lives? That's like my my life just keeps getting better and better the older I get. So, like, for me, when I'm 60, I'm gonna be fucking living it up, like, are you kidding me? Like it just you. You become more and more fuck free. So first of all, it's your perspective. You know, like at 60, literally the filter, if there is any left. Well, we'll be completely.
Margot 00:31:39 Yeah, I.
Sarah 00:31:39 Will have already had two facelifts by then.
Margot 00:31:42 Yeah, totally. But at that stage it's like as you get older, like, why can't it be that we're freer? I think we've just been so conditioned to see certain things. So first of all, it's like, what have we held on a collective level about that age or what's possible at that age? So we have to just deprogram on a lot of different levels. So that's kind of the first step I would look at is like, what do you believe is possible? Because some people come into their best careers at that stage. Some people completely burned down their whole life get a divorce, find a new lover, and travel the world like anything's possible, right? So we found that. I think we're also kind of taught that a lot of life happens to us. And when we're under that pretense, or we've been through a lot of trauma in our lives, our unconscious can get familiarized with chaos and suffering and pain.
Margot 00:32:29 And we actually literally have two neurologically. And we get addicted to addicted to it.
Sarah 00:32:32 Yeah. I mean, I tell my mom that all the time. I'm like, like you're so used to being like a CEO and solving all these big problems. Like, now that you're retired and like, you watch something on the news, it's like it's happening to you. Do you know what I mean? I'm like, I understand you may not like what's going on in the world, but like, you need to separate from that and not be addicted to the constant commotion and drama of it all. Yeah.
Margot 00:32:58 So if we look at the neural pathways in our brain, we're programmed for fear, right? News. Something bad like. Yeah. Our neural pathways for fear like this. And then the conflict. Who's there teaching us to, like, believe in ourselves, like, love myself so that neural pathways like this. So all you have to do is relentlessly go all in on your mindset. So, like, when I was sick in bed, part of what helped me get well as I started mastering my mind.
Margot 00:33:22 So I was like, my only job today is to not get my power away to the fact that I'm sick. My whole body was in fibromyalgia pain and I was like, I'm not going to get my power. So I would just continue to focus and build this new neural pathway over here. That was like, I love myself, I'm healthy, I'm confident, and you just work at that like it's the only thing that matters in your life. And eventually you go through like a tipping point and that becomes your norm.
Sarah 00:33:43 It was Joe Dispenza, the one who had that huge medical problem. Yeah, he put.
Margot 00:33:47 Together his spine with.
Sarah 00:33:48 Maya. I'm just remembering that right now as you're talking about that. Yeah.
Margot 00:33:52 So he reconstructed. He got into this accident and put his mind back together or spine back together through his mind. And then he started teaching people with these incurable diseases how to heal.
Sarah 00:34:03 So it's sort of like what you did.
Margot 00:34:05 Exactly. Because I was left, I had no there was no cure for what I was going through.
Margot 00:34:09 So then I was like, all right, this is my only option is to like, reinvent myself as the healthy version of myself that's literally not living the life that I have. But I would mentally rehearse this life.
Sarah 00:34:20 But when you feel so shitty and feel like you have the flu all the time, how do you convince yourself, like, oh yeah, I can like get in my car and go to the market? Like, that's hard.
Margot 00:34:28 So I wouldn't. So that's what I stopped doing. I stopped pushing my body and I started creating a baseline. Okay. So I was like, here's the things I'm going to do today. And if I don't feel well, I'm going to like take a break. And it's no big deal. It doesn't matter. Like nothing became a big deal anymore. I was like, I'm not going to give my power away to anything. Like, even if I have to lay in bed this whole day, fine. And you didn't.
Sarah 00:34:46 Shame yourself.
Margot 00:34:47 For it.
Margot 00:34:47 Exactly. Okay. It's all the self-talk. So I stopped pushing myself. I started speaking up for myself. I started having boundaries. I started getting a vision. I had to get something bigger than the life I was living. And then I had to, like, act like that version of myself and make that my job.
Sarah 00:35:03 Yeah, because I read that you say that like the the calling will find you if you create the space for that.
Margot 00:35:11 Exactly what I did. And that's exactly what came flying in to a tee.
Sarah 00:35:15 That's just crazy. So your manifestation manifestation station.
Margot 00:35:20 That's that's.
Sarah 00:35:21 It. Right. So in your Instagram, let's talk about those. Yeah. Like reals for a second. I mean that's basically like you're tapping into all these people who are like, wait, me too. Because you're I mean, it's like likes and share like it's crazy. And you talk about this like, lucky Girl syndrome and Dr. Lulu and all this. Let's get into some of the Instagram terms.
Margot 00:35:41 Yeah, yeah, let's do it. Let's dive in. I think what it is, is I've really honed in on my audience, like you have like you, your audience loves you. People relate to it. You know who you're speaking to. So I create content based off of what I know my audience like needs to hear, and what they're struggling with and what is going to help them. That's kind of like something that day that will help them use it. That's practical, that they can go implement.
Sarah 00:36:06 So explain the lucky girl syndrome. Yeah.
Margot 00:36:08 So that was a trend like a couple years ago. And it's basically like you kind of brainwash yourself to think that you're the luckiest person in the world. And then what happens is because our subconscious, if we continue to tell ourselves and drench ourselves in new belief systems, eventually it goes, okay, I am. And then we give our brain commands. So even if it's a joking and we're like, I'm lucky I'm Dr. Lulu and everything happens for me, like the brain starts.
Sarah 00:36:34 My husband would be out of his mind. He's like, he thinks I've become like so woo since I started this podcast. He's like, what are you even talking about?
Margot 00:36:45 Like you lost me. Yeah.
Sarah 00:36:47 It's like ancestral trauma and like, all the shit, he's like, what are you even saying?
Margot 00:36:53 There's guys that come on my account, they're like, can you say this? But in English? Yes.
Sarah 00:36:57 Can you say this in like, normal human language?
Margot 00:37:00 Like, what is this English? I'm like. Obviously not my target audience. Exactly.
Sarah 00:37:04 The woo woo.
Margot 00:37:05 Woo woo land. Yeah. I'm like, we like to get out there. But yeah. So basically, your brain starts to look for commands. So if you're constantly focusing on everything wrong in your life, your brain will look for evidence of that. And if you start brainwashing yourself to think you're lucky, things work out in your favor. Even if shit's hitting the fan, it's still working out for you. Your brain will start to look for evidence of that.
Sarah 00:37:28 I know it.
Margot 00:37:30 Yeah.
Sarah 00:37:31 But I it's so hard to like, actually, like believe it. Yeah, yeah, but I was telling you that story that my daughter is in Milan and she's having some major stomach issues.
Margot 00:37:40 She is? Yeah.
Sarah 00:37:41 And I texted my friend who I knew was in Italy. I know Italy is a big place, but, like, I was just like, okay, friend in the same country, a lot closer than I am. Whatever. So I texted her and I was like, Is Marin? I mean, are you back in town or are you still in Italy? And she goes, oh, I just came back last night and she said, what's up? I said, oh, I think my daughter needs a doctor in Milan. And she's like, oh, one of my really good friends is a concierge doctor in Milan. But I think she's in another country right now. But let me put her on what's up? And then she obviously wasn't available.
Sarah 00:38:14 She was out of town. But she's like, my friend is a concierge doctor, also in Milan. And this woman showed up at the hotel at 1030, and my husband's like, how the fuck did that happen while you were putting makeup on? Prepping for a podcast this morning? Like how? And I don't have an explanation for it. Yeah. How do I explain that? A friend had a concierge friend in Milan. I've never even been to Milan. I've been to every other part of Italy except for Milan. Like it doesn't even make sense. Yeah, yeah. Like, what is that? Yeah. So is that lucky girl.
Margot 00:38:50 It's given that is a lucky girl syndrome. Yeah.
Sarah 00:38:53 I'm like, what is that?
Margot 00:38:55 Yeah. So in the field of quantum physics, it shows that we are basically the creator of our lives, and we work with an infinite intelligence. So some people don't believe in it. And that's okay. But at the end of the day, science has kind of proven that we are working with some infinite source.
Margot 00:39:12 People sometimes call it, you know, the creator of all that is the universe, whatever it is. But we are here co-creating.
Sarah 00:39:19 I just I don't even know, like it just seemed like super random. Yeah. Did it make sense? I mean, so lucky, right?
Margot 00:39:26 Exactly, exactly.
Sarah 00:39:28 And like, then there's other days where I'm like, did I, like, get, like, the bad lottery ticket today where, like, you know, it's like I poured orange juice in my coffee and then I exploded the coffee in the microwave like nothing makes sense and doesn't work. Yes. And it's just so interesting how you can have, like, such a fucking flow day and such a fuck day. You know what I mean?
Margot 00:39:48 Like, I love those fuck days because those are the opportunities where we can actually rewire and see what we're holding. Because it's easy to feel good when everything's going well. You're on a high. Yeah. Working out. Yeah.
Sarah 00:40:00 Today I was like, okay, I have my outfits picked for the podcast.
Sarah 00:40:03 I'm going to drink my coffee, I'm going to go to the studio. And then I started getting like the diarrhea attack. Yeah, it's.
Margot 00:40:09 Like.
Sarah 00:40:10 Kill me. Now. My husband has nothing to do with it. He's in the gym. He's not. Doesn't even know what's happening. He comes up from the gym. He's like, ready for your podcast? I was like, I've already lived four days in the last two hours while you were working out and doing the sauna, like, what are you even talking about? Yeah, like, yeah, he doesn't get it. No, I think most guys are like, nae nae nae nae, you know? Like, somehow you give something to a mom and or a woman. I feel like it like happens. It gets done. It gets done. Yeah. Like I'm like. And then when I was on for this podcast, as you heard, I called him and I was like, you need to make sure that all this shit gets wrapped up with the doctor and the concierge and the lobby and he's like, I want to take a nap right now.
Sarah 00:40:54 I'm like, dude.
Margot 00:40:55 Wasn't he Loki napping? Yeah.
Sarah 00:40:57 I was like, it's like 2:00 on a Friday. He's like, yeah, but I have my hour and a half piano lesson. I was like, I can't, yeah, I cannot.
Margot 00:41:06 That's cool. He does piano.
Sarah 00:41:07 Don't get me started on that. We have to talk about that. How good it is actually good. And it's better than porn and gambling. Not that he ever did those before, but like, he always says that, like, just be. You're just lucky that it's not like some girl syndrome. Not that it's something terrible, like, okay. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Whatever. Yeah. Oh my God, it's so funny. But yeah. So I've lived nine days today, but I think for a lot of women in midlife that like yucky day feels like a lot of days.
Margot 00:41:35 Yeah. So what the interesting thing is, is to uncover what people's beliefs are. So when we're in those lows, you could just laugh it off and be like, whoa, shit's hitting the fan diarrhea, right? You know? Right.
Sarah 00:41:49 But I mean, that's what I did. I started you did diarrhea in the Dolomites. I mean, I hope she has a watch that she's mortified. But I'm just saying, like, yeah, that was what my whole morning was called.
Margot 00:42:00 Yeah, yeah. So it's the meaning that we make out of the shit.
Sarah 00:42:03 I could have, like, cancelled the podcast. Yeah. You know, like, exactly. Waited in the house and I was like, no, fuck it. I'm just moving on with my life. I'm getting what I can done. Totally. And then, like, I'm gonna still move.
Margot 00:42:15 Yeah. I would argue for people at the midlife point if their lives like if shit starts to hit the fan, it's means that they are ready for an upgrade. But what happens is sometimes when we get sucked in by the shit hitting the fan and think, oh, nothing works out for me. I'm unlucky like nothing. You know? Nothing's going right. It's like, oh, then we just start feeding that right versus if we start seeing things, oh, things are breaking down because nothing's aligned.
Margot 00:42:40 I've outgrown my life point and you start to see it from a higher lens. That's how you can. Alchemy ties the shit into something bigger. Yeah, but when you get sucked in by it, it's hard to transmute it.
Sarah 00:42:50 And I think you're also like seeing, like, all the menopause stuff and talk and all the symptoms. And believe me, they're all fucking true. I have them all. but it's easy to get in that mindset of like, oh my God, like my hormones aren't right. I'm going to feel fucked forever. Yeah, this is my new self. I'm going to feel this is like like, you know, you get the flu and you feel like I'm going to feel like this for the rest of my life. And then you wake up one day and you're like, I'm back. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm back. Yeah. I think midlife women are looking for that feeling of like, I'm back. And I think sometimes it's HRT. Yeah, I think other times it's like novelty, purpose, like all these things.
Sarah 00:43:35 I mean, the research shows that we want novelty every seven years. That's why people are having affairs and buying new cars and doing all this shit. It's because everyone's itchy for the for something. And if you're not, that's. That's weird too. I mean, not not to be judgmental, but, like, nobody can live the same day over and over again. No. Without.
Margot 00:43:56 It's torturous. Yeah, yeah. We're here to experience novelty. And that's actually feedback that we're becoming different versions of us. That's the sign of evolution.
Sarah 00:44:05 But I do like the little bit of I like the reframe of when things start feeling like misaligned or shitty or crappy, that it's like, okay, everything's falling down so that I can kind of recreate. And that's what this whole platform is about is midlife self reinvention. And look, not everyone's like, oh my God, I have to reinvent myself. I used to I hate who I am and what I was and who I was. It's not about that.
Sarah 00:44:32 It's about like the refresh and like the refresh could be aesthetic. It's like I'm getting a facelift, getting my boobs picked up there, have my knees, whatever. Like it could be vaginal rejuvenation. I have friends doing that.
Margot 00:44:44 How's that I going?
Sarah 00:44:45 Great. I mean, they don't like their labia hanging out. They want it all clipped up tight. Shit. Whatever. Yeah, and, like, the only person who's seeing it's her husband who's looked at the same vagina for 30 years, it doesn't matter. But they want to feel good about it. And I'm like, go for it. Yeah. You know. Yeah. so I think sometimes it's the aesthetic thing. I think sometimes it's the meaning thing, like, okay, if you were a stay at home mom, even if you weren't, like finding that connection, that purpose to like, oh my God, I'm getting up today and I'm doing two podcasts like, that's fun for me. Like, it doesn't mean it's not work.
Sarah 00:45:23 Yeah. and I'm not managing diarrhea in Europe, but, like, it's fun. Yeah. but not everything I've done. I mean, look, getting a PhD for me, it was amazing, but it was really hard. Do I want to do it again? No. Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. You know, but I think, like you were saying before, in terms of like most things are not going to be handed to us. Like we have to be willing and no one's coming to rescue us. We have to be willing to put in the time and the work. So I think, like with you, like with your company and your modalities, that's like one piece of it, one way of getting into like your brain and the reframe of like, okay, what's my small win today? Yeah. Like it seems so basic.
Margot 00:46:12 Yeah.
Sarah 00:46:13 But so true all at the same time.
Margot 00:46:15 Totally. I'm curious with your audience. And in this stage of life, what do you think the most challenging thing is? Is that the self belief that they can create a new iteration of themselves is that that they feel like, I don't know, tell me kind of where they feel the most stuff.
Sarah 00:46:32 A lot of I think a lot of that kind of like inner mean girl inner bitch talk. I think a lot of it is like carpool mom, like external peanut gallery. Like, what's she going to think? What she gonna. Yeah, she gonna think. Yeah. I think a lot of it is, being scared, and not feeling like they can be scared and do it anyway. Yeah. I think for a lot of women my age, it's also the technology. Like, I am technology illiterate.
Margot 00:47:00 But you do great on the gram.
Sarah 00:47:02 You do I. Yeah. But that that's just like me talking on Instagram. But like if you ask me like how to assemble something like, yeah I can't do that valid. And I so I think a lot of us get stuck in the that's just too complicated. Like I was like, I'm going to start a podcast, but I don't have to be like, I'm not fucking filming this. I'm not editing it. Like, you don't have to do all the fucking cars to do the parts that you're good at, like, exactly.
Sarah 00:47:27 I'm talking. Yeah. And someone else is editing and whatever. And it's like finding those things that, like, you're good at being able to delegate the things that you aren't good at And owning it. Like I don't have to be good at everything. No. And there's other people who are really good at editing and filming and doing those things and taking advantage of that. Yeah. and I think the other part of it is the willingness to learn on the go, because you're not going to wake up one day and be like, oh, yeah, I totally know how to, like, start a podcast and like, you know, grow my Instagram account. Yeah, I mean, I didn't even have Instagram or Facebook until I started the podcast at all. Like, I didn't even know how to get on Instagram. Yeah, but if I let that stop me, like, I would never have done anything. So I think that, the learning on the go piece is like huge. Yeah.
Sarah 00:48:26 And I think we all secretly want to be rescued. Yeah. I mean, I'll be honest, like, I was, like, waiting for my husband to be like, okay, Sarah, you raise the kids like, you got your PhD. You never, like, got a job or whatever. Like, I have this great idea for, you know, it's like, busy with his own life, playing golf and doing his own shit. He's not coming up with, like, reinvention projects for me and, like, for me, like, I know a lot of women, like, love decorating houses or have another kid. I was not having another kid to fill a void for me. Yeah, because I raised my kids, like with the utmost of energy and presence. And I knew for me, having another kid, that kid would be raised by a nanny because I was like, I'm at maximum capacity, like I'm done. And I had a lot of help. I'm honest about that.
Sarah 00:49:18 But I wanted to be there for every nap and wake up from the nap and drop off at preschool and pick up at preschool and all of that. And I knew that I couldn't do it a third time, like I was maxed. Yeah, yeah, but I needed all. But I also needed to like at a certain point when Jake turned 16, I was like, okay, I'm so fucking itchy. I can't do this Groundhog Day. One more day. Like, the hamster wheel is like, spinning. And I'm, like, dying here. Like I'm a giant hamster, like Hank the tank, the hamster, mid-life hamster. Like living the same day over and over again. And then Covid came and I was like, okay, great. So now I'm a hamster. Itchy, stuck in my house. Perfect.
Margot 00:50:02 And this is how this got birth.
Sarah 00:50:03 This is how it happens.
Margot 00:50:05 How much different do you feel about yourself when you let go of the waiting to be saved, like your relationship with you now that you created all this?
Sarah 00:50:17 I mean, I wish I could, like, bottle it up and sell it, you know what I mean? Because so many people are like, well, how did you do that? And I'm like, I don't know, like there's no like there's no answer.
Sarah 00:50:28 It's I just wanted it badly enough that I was willing to put myself out there Enough and just let it build, let it build, let it build. And like I've been doing this a long time now and it's like still so far from perfect. Yeah, yeah. Like I was with friends the other night. And this person is 40 million downloads and this person has 8000 sponsors. And I'm like, what am I doing wrong? You know? But then at the same time I'm like, what am I doing? Right? Like, I actually want to do this, like, this is fun for me because some days I want to burn the house down. And I hate my podcast, I hate Instagram and fuck everyone. Yeah, yeah. Totally. Right? Yeah. Fuck you for not liking my post. View every single one of my stories for four years and you can't even like a fucking post. Give it a little like.
Margot 00:51:13 Yes. Just like you're listening.
Sarah 00:51:15 Yeah. You know, like, sometimes that shit bugs me.
Sarah 00:51:18 Yeah. You know, like I'm a human being. I'm like, if you're gonna view me making fun of my husband all day long for four years, like, like the goddamn post, right?
Margot 00:51:28 Yeah, yeah.
Sarah 00:51:29 It's a funny thing. What's the deal with that? Like, what's wrong with people?
Margot 00:51:33 Yeah, I think sometimes people just enjoy, like. Like they're watching them like a purveyor.
Sarah 00:51:38 Yeah.
Margot 00:51:38 They just kind of like to peek around to like.
Sarah 00:51:40 Other people's posts.
Margot 00:51:42 Okay, then that's then they're probably jelly. Oh, I know.
Sarah 00:51:46 I don't know, it just bugs a little bit. But the best part is my friends used to not be like post lickers. Now that they, like some of them, have started their things. It's really cute because now they get it and they're like, I'm so sorry.
Margot 00:51:59 Oh, we love that.
Sarah 00:52:00 Yeah, great.
Margot 00:52:01 Now they're like, we know because people watch. You don't.
Sarah 00:52:04 Get it until you.
Margot 00:52:04 Get it, because it doesn't seem vulnerable.
Margot 00:52:06 When you watch someone, you're like, oh, they're so authentic. They're so comfortable they don't give a fuck. But bringing something new to life can be the most vulnerable thing ever.
Sarah 00:52:15 It's like, I'm like sharing my family. I'm ripping into my kids. I'm talking.
Margot 00:52:19 About diarrhea.
Sarah 00:52:19 Dolomites, all this stuff. Yeah. And like, I'm like, you're viewing every single thing I put up for years. Yeah. Like you can't take a second, right? Like a second. Yeah. And all and content creators work hard.
Margot 00:52:35 It's a job.
Sarah 00:52:36 It's a job.
Margot 00:52:36 It's a literal job.
Sarah 00:52:37 People are like, why don't you link all your clothes? I'm like, okay.
Margot 00:52:42 Yeah.
Sarah 00:52:43 Like.
Margot 00:52:44 Right.
Sarah 00:52:45 There's only certain hours in the day and like, how much am I going to make, like $1,000 for the whole year, right? You know what I mean? Like, I make $0.04 on a shirt. Whatever. But having said that, I'm like, I did. My meeting was shot my yesterday in between all my other shit.
Sarah 00:53:01 Yeah. She showed me the technology and I was like, this is amazing and looks really techie and complicated. So I forwarded it to my husband and I was like, This is Saturday's project. But I'm saying, like, am I going to do it? I don't know, yeah. Am I willing to like, dabble in it, have the meeting, try it. Like finally post the fucking jeans I'm wearing or all the dresses I wore in New York. Maybe I'm gonna try, but if I make $0.10 and I'm spending ten hours a day trying to find links, I'm not doing it anymore. But you have to be in that, like, experiment mode.
Margot 00:53:39 You have to.
Sarah 00:53:40 Be.
Margot 00:53:41 In the fucking energy. Like if you can have fuck it and just go for it and get yourself in the arena, even if your friends aren't liking or supporting. In fact, I.
Sarah 00:53:50 Always know if it's intentional, you know what I mean? It's just like everyone's doing their own thing. But I'm like, if you have enough time to be on Instagram, you have enough time to press on.
Margot 00:53:58 Yeah it is. Yeah. It kind of does show you when you kind of get out there who's truly got your back.
Sarah 00:54:04 It's the people who you, you know, the it's so true what I'm saying.
Margot 00:54:07 Yeah it is, it is.
Sarah 00:54:08 I'm liking all your posts. You're liking my work commenting. It becomes like a reciprocity thing, right? But because we know what it feels like, it's not just about Instagram. It's about all of it. Like, if you listen to my podcast and I haven't seen you in two years, like you might mention it, but you're telling like everyone else that you're listening to it but me, and I'm kind of like, okay. And I kind of tend to feel like I'm a pretty supportive person. So supportive. Like I'm like, I say, I say, you know, I do what I'm going to say, I'm going to do. I show up or I'm going to say, I'm going to show up. And yeah, but not everyone's like that.
Sarah 00:54:42 And I get that, and I have to I've had to teach my kids that too, because historically I'm like, okay, she's a bitch, I hate him. She didn't show up for that. And then like, I've been a grudge collector. It's part of my hoarding. I think my dad and I are grudge collectors.
Margot 00:54:58 Yeah, well, if we're going to hoard. Yeah, exactly.
Sarah 00:55:00 Yeah, exactly. But I'm saying, like, with age, I've gotten much better with that. That has been something that it's like. Like every friend can't be for every single mom. Like, I had these expectations that all my friends are going to be five star friends. And it's interesting because my brother always had so many more friends in me. But it was by design because I always had a boyfriend and I was always like doing school in my own thing, and he'd have like 40,000 friends. I'd be like, that's so interesting. And looking back on it, I really feel like it's because he didn't expect everything from every friend.
Sarah 00:55:35 It was like, this is my going out front. This is my like, I want to do something cool with the computer program friend. You know, like everyone had a different kind of role. But for me, it was like you were everything or you're out. And my list was really tight and small. Do you think it's.
Margot 00:55:54 A little bit of a different dynamic with women and their girlfriends than it is for men? 100% yeah.
Sarah 00:56:00 Like my son. Like last night, he had like ten friends over before he went to do that DJ thing. And they're all, like, ripping into each other and like, this one's like, fuck you. Like, why are you wearing those shoes? You know, like, dish it out. They're dishing it out like my daughter and her friends. Like, if somebody said something like, it'd be like, disaster or two. Yeah, exactly. It's such a different energy. And I'll ask my son something. I'm like, well, isn't it going to hurt his feelings that, like, you didn't invite him and he knew you? He goes, mom, boys don't work like that.
Sarah 00:56:30 Yeah, you're being a weirdo. Yeah. And I'm like, okay. It's just so different. It is.
Margot 00:56:36 It's so different. I think culturally we're kind of taught women to be more like jealous or envious and then also keep it in. Right, which then creates a whole different set of issues where men, they just hash it out, they dish it out there, they're like camaraderie.
Sarah 00:56:50 And they like come back the next day like nothing has happened. And I'm like holding my bucket of grudges, you know what I mean? I was like, oh, oh, you know, it's like, okay, she did this. And but I've gotten so much better as I've gotten older.
Margot 00:57:04 Have you found that speaking up and just saying it quicker and getting it out, like, is that 100%? Isn't that so freeing?
Sarah 00:57:10 So freeing. Except sometimes, I mean, I've had to work on my Tourette's a little bit because I'm a little know because I'm a big, like big personality. And I like to say I've always liked to say what I'm thinking.
Sarah 00:57:21 Good. But I've had to, like, get a little better with my filtering a little bit. Like, maybe I just don't say that right now and I save that for another time. I used to just boom, boom, boom. Yeah. And I'm very reactive. And my husband's, like, chill and, like, somebody will send me a text and I'm like, enraged. I'm like, exploding out of myself. And he's like, shut the fuck up. Take 24 hours. And I'm like, no, that's weird. I need to respond right now. And he's like, no, you don't, you know? So it's definitely like this kind of there's a there's a greatness in being unfiltered and confident and saying how you feel, but like, you can't take it too far.
Margot 00:58:04 There's a line. Yes. Well there's actually effective. Yes. And then ineffective. Yeah. Exactly.
Sarah 00:58:10 Yeah. Exactly. And I think I think texting has changed a lot of things for us. Like, I don't know, I think it's interesting now that we don't call people, we text them happy birthday.
Sarah 00:58:21 Yeah. Like it's It's like so interesting to me how the. And I think a lot of texts are misconstrued. Yeah. My daughter's like stop with the fucking emoji. I'm like, the reason I do the emojis is because there's no, what's the word? I can't even think of the word. There's no tone of voice. So I'm like lol heart heart emoji, dump upside down, you know, whatever. And she's like, it's so annoying. And I'm like, yeah, but I want the person to know that, like, I want it done the way I want it done, but I'm not mad, right? Right.
Margot 00:58:53 Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. You're like it's softening.
Sarah 00:58:56 I'm like, there's a problem here and you need to fix it. But I'm not. But I love you. Yeah exactly. Yeah. And that's why I get into a little bit of emoji. Hell yeah.
Margot 00:59:07 I kind of love that though. I feel like that's a good hybrid. Right? I think you got a good thing going.
Sarah 00:59:11 Yeah. And then she's like please, when you send the school emails, no exclamation points in emojis. That's so annoying. And I'm like, you know what you got? It's just who I am. It's tone of voice. Because I'm used to the phone.
Margot 00:59:23 Yeah. You hoard the emojis.
Sarah 00:59:25 Hoard the emojis? Yeah. I mean, oh my God. Okay, so wait, what have we not covered in terms of, your business? So it's like coaching entrepreneurial coaching, mindset coaching. And you do speaking too, right?
Margot 00:59:44 Yeah. I'm kind of just starting to get in that arena.
Sarah 00:59:48 So where do you see that going like Ted talk ish.
Margot 00:59:51 Yeah. Yeah I think that that's like the next iteration of the brand. But I've really been intentional in building out very aligned offers. We're creating a membership. So I really want to get everything like a smooth, oiled machine before getting out there. Because what I have found is that when you're very aligned, the influxes can come in very quickly.
Margot 01:00:14 So it's just making sure that everything's like so aligned and that I'm bringing people to where I think that they can get the most support and scalability. So before I kind of get further along into that, I'm making sure that everything's kind of streamlined. Do you like.
Sarah 01:00:30 My my demographic and my space is like midlife women. Like, what would you say your like, average avatar ish person is?
Margot 01:00:41 I would agree, I surprised like people think because I'm in my 30s that I would like work with younger women. I actually work with mainly like I'd say between 30s and mid 50s is my sweet spot. Sweet spot? Yeah, I work with a lot of older women than me, and I also work with women my age, but it's usually the late 30s, 40s, early 50s is my cup. But do you think.
Sarah 01:01:04 Women are more open to the woowoo shit?
Margot 01:01:08 So what I like, and this is kind of my personality, is I feel like I've got one foot in both door, like I love give me Botox all day long, give me new clothes like I like nice things, I like traveling, I can have a bougie side, but I also am like, I can run through a jungle for three, right.
Sarah 01:01:24 Right, right to meditate and.
Margot 01:01:25 Meditate.
Sarah 01:01:26 Silent retreat.
Margot 01:01:27 Silent retreat. But I the reason I use the woowoo is not to escape our 3D life. It's to quantum leap and move things faster in the 3D. So I'm really intentional that it's to get results. It's not to just like be like, oh, I'm spiritual, right? So the whole point is to move the needle faster. And so I find that I attract clients who are the same. They're very grounded. They run businesses. They just happen to be very intuitive and they're open to the magic of manifestation. So that's really all it is at the end of the day. But they're very grounded. You wouldn't look at them and be like, oh, that one's going to do ayahuasca. Like I don't do any of that stuff. I'm not into that. I'm into just like Master Mind. Create your reality. Use these woowoo tools to move the needle faster. And that's kind of very simple and very grounded.
Sarah 01:02:12 So the subconscious reprogramming is like your favorite number one.
Sarah 01:02:16 That is.
Margot 01:02:16 It. That is my bread and butter. Wow. Yeah. And I find that that gets people to.
Sarah 01:02:22 Do you write scripts out based on the conversations and like, somebody gets a recording because I've done that.
Margot 01:02:27 At our sessions so people can listen back. Sometimes I will like, do a quick little like a rampage for them. And they'll just reprogram that and listen to that. I should I.
Sarah 01:02:35 Should record myself talking to my children. I'd really love that. And they could just listen to my voice on repeat to you like, oh, the bitch is back. She's back.
Margot 01:02:45 It's so good.
Sarah 01:02:45 Oh my God, it's so good. Okay, so before we wrap up, what is your one piece of advice for midlife women who are trying to figure out, like, what's next for them in midlife?
Margot 01:02:58 Yeah, I would say fuck timelines and whatever you feel in your soul excites you. Literally. If it's the simplest thing or the biggest thing, go all in on that, like literally muster up your fucking muscle and go all in and just see what happens.
Sarah 01:03:19 All in, maybe all in I love it. Okay, so where can people find you?
Margot 01:03:23 You can find me on Instagram at Margo Miller Inc, or you can come to my website at her Unapologetic success.com. That's also my TikTok handle. Her unapologetic.
Sarah 01:03:32 So good. I'm like watching again and again. My husband's like, who are you listening to? He's like EarPods, AirPods. He's like, what is this? Yeah, he's like, what the fuck's happening here? And I'm like, I kept playing it again and again. So, because I feel like sometimes you have to listen to things a few times you're like, oh, I kind of get it.
Margot 01:03:50 I get this thing again. Yeah. The subconscious reprogramming. As you keep reprogramming programming, that's.
Sarah 01:03:55 I get so many news, right? Because somebody like me is replaying it for.
Margot 01:03:59 People to say, I feel like I've listened to this, like, a couple times. I know I was.
Sarah 01:04:03 Thinking I was getting dressed. I was like, I just listened to that real four times.
Sarah 01:04:06 Okay, either I have like mild cognitive delays or something's happening here, but I was like, okay, I need to understand monkey girl syndrome. I need to understand Lucky Girl Central.
Margot 01:04:17 It's so iconic, so good. Right? So good. Yeah.
Sarah 01:04:20 It's part of the mid life.
Margot 01:04:21 Yeah. So to the mid lifers I think.
Sarah 01:04:23 I covered everything.
Margot 01:04:25 I think you did too.
Sarah 01:04:26 Yeah. Let's look at this. Oh the one thing we didn't cover even now I'm going back is you said look for little openings to what feels lighter. Yeah. That's the opposite of my hoarding. So let's wrap up with what feels lighter.
Margot 01:04:39 Yeah. So in my corpse era, I played this game. Look, I did a lot of.
Sarah 01:04:44 Episode of, like, one liners. Like, we could have 100 fucking TikToks from this.
Margot 01:04:50 Literally. So good, so good. Okay. So good. So I was like, all right, well, fuck. Like doing the shit that I hate is just making me more corpses.
Margot 01:05:00 So I'm like, don't.
Sarah 01:05:00 Ever have kids.
Margot 01:05:01 Like I don't play on.
Sarah 01:05:03 There's no one is. There's so much shit you're gonna hate. But I mean, there's so much shit you're going to love.
Margot 01:05:08 I don't plan on it, but it's a.
Sarah 01:05:09 Lot of things that you're like, okay.
Margot 01:05:11 Really? Yeah, I don't think I mean, I don't do.
Sarah 01:05:13 Dog vomit, but I do kid vomit, you know, like, we.
Margot 01:05:15 Like, you got to pick and choose bomb. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So there's this book called Being You Changing the World. A ten out of ten recommend listening to it, but they have this little exercise and it's like, follow the lightness, follow like every choice you make. Like, literally if you called me and you're like, want to go to lunch? I'd be like, what feels lighter, like going to lunch or not? And like, yeah, exactly. Like with this. Yeah, yeah.
Sarah 01:05:36 No. But you know, that feeling there's like some like lost.
Sarah 01:05:39 I was going to a dinner like I wanted to go to dinner with those people. I was like, yes. And then there's dinners were like, right.
Margot 01:05:46 Right. So you basically give yourself permission to just do what feels light and be like, it's.
Sarah 01:05:50 Like a muscle.
Margot 01:05:51 It's a muscle, it's a muscle test. And of course, there's some things that you got to pick your kids up. Yeah. Like that feels heavy. Gonna leave them on? Yeah. Hey. Yeah. There's some things you just got to surrender and roll with. But for the most part, we have a lot more freedom than we think. That's how you create a life out of alignment, not obligation. It's just to be like, what do I like? Question everything. Like, do I actually even want to go? Do I even like my friends? Like, right. I like what I'm doing with my life. Do I like my partner and like, let yourself be honest.
Sarah 01:06:19 Because run away.
Margot 01:06:21 Like literally though.
Sarah 01:06:23 I know it's it's interesting how quickly you can blow something up and recreate something else.
Margot 01:06:29 Yeah.
Sarah 01:06:31 Thank you. Such a fun, rad conversation. I know I had to have you. Thanks for schlepping up from Laguna.
Margot 01:06:38 Happy to.
Sarah 01:06:39 Anytime. I came to, like, overcast LA today. We haven't been overcast in a while.
Margot 01:06:43 I know it was.
Sarah 01:06:44 Was it overcast in Laguna?
Margot 01:06:45 It was. So it wasn't. You didn't feel beautiful? Yeah. No, it wasn't like I left the beach, but I would for. Yes. For this. For you. I love you so much. Thank you. Thanks for having me. Thanks for coming.
Sarah 01:06:56 Hey peeps, it's me again. I listen to this episode with licensed family and marriage therapist, life coach, and entrepreneur Margo Miller. So I could summarize the golden nuggets for you to have actionable items to start using today. I know that when I listen to a long episode, I'm like, oh my God, I love that.
Sarah 01:07:15 But then I can't even fucking remember the specifics. This is why I come back and do a golden nugget. Summary. In this episode, we dig deep with our golden shit shovels in a conversation about self-transformation, empowerment, mindset, personal growth, and the quantum field. Golden nugget number one make it your job to stay in your power. This is exactly what Margo did to heal herself during Margo's self-proclaimed corpse era. She found herself without any clear solution for what she was going through, so she decided her only option was to reinvent herself as the healthy, thriving version she dreamed of the one living the life that she now enjoys. She began mentally rehearsing that future life. She stopped forcing herself to push through when it felt difficult to do so and stop demanding too much of her body. Instead, she created a baseline. She would say, here's what I'm going to do today, and if I don't feel well, I'll take a break. No big deal. Nothing was worth giving her power away to anymore, even if it meant spending the entire day in bed.
Sarah 01:08:26 She accepted it without shame. UG. So hard, I know. The key was in her self-talk. She stopped pushing herself for not only started speaking up for her needs, set boundaries, and cultivated a vision that was bigger than her current life. She committed to acting as the future version of herself and made embracing that vision her primary focus and her job not to give her power away to anything. Golden nugget number two how to say fuck fear at any age. Margo reiterates that this is all about mental reprogramming. Saying fuck to fear is about ditching the old and unhelpful patterns that are keeping you stuck and resetting your mind, which will lead to life changing breakthroughs and give you the power to step outside of your mind and make things happen for yourself. This is a process of digging deep, pulling out those outdated survival programs like people pleasing, over giving, and being the perpetual caretaker. Midlife years I know you can relate to this in terms of age. Margo said something that I loved. She said, why can't getting older mean becoming freer? Amazing.
Sarah 01:09:38 She says that the trick here is to get past the conditioning to see aging as something limiting. She says that the first thing to explore is what collective beliefs we hold about what's possible at a certain age, and that many people step into their most successful careers later in life. More deprogramming peeps. Golden nugget number three self authenticity and stepping into your power. true self authenticity and stepping into your power is the next step after reprogramming inner narratives that no longer serve you. When you really dissolve these patterns, magic happens. Margo says that it's like coming home to your true authentic self, something I know that we all want and crave. What I love about this approach is that it guides you from that, in between where the old version of you fades, making space for something greater. Once that old identity clears out, you step into your power and your entire identity starts to shift. It's the start of a new chapter full of potential and self rediscovery. Margo says that at this point, her clients will start to shift their identity from that new place and rebuild their worlds.
Sarah 01:10:50 For some, this looks like making a pivot in their businesses, revamping their content, or even setting fire to their old ventures to create something totally new and bold. It's all about figuring out what their most authentic next move is, and helping them build the confidence to chase it fearlessly. Golden nugget number four lucky girl syndrome. I know my husband already thinks I'm over the top with the woo woo, and I can't wait to see his reaction to my new w lucky girl mindset. I know you guys have heard these terms on the internet and social media, but what does Lucky Girl Syndrome really entail? Margot says that our brains are always looking for instructions to follow. If you're constantly focused on what's going wrong in your life, your brain will find more reasons to back that up. But if you start conditioning yourself to believe, you're lucky that things are always working out for you, even when things are falling apart, your brain will look for that evidence. Instead, she says that we are essentially the creators of our own lives, and it can feel random at times like, wow, I'm so lucky.
Sarah 01:11:59 or on tough days that I just draw the short straw today. But it all ties back to what we focus on and how we shape our experience. So if you think you're lucky, your brain will find ways for that to show up in your reality. I fucking love it. Okay you guys, the gold is dripping off these nuggets. Grab it, use it. You know the drill. There are three things you can do. First, fucking subscribe to the podcast. Don't just listen to it. One off second, share it with some friends who like midlife shit. And third, write an Apple review. Writing reviews is fucking annoying, but it really helps. And you guys, you just listened to this episode, but you can fucking watch it on YouTube too. Yes, YouTube. You ask for it. I'm doing it. So if you want to watch it, go back, check out our outfits. The whole thing. The gold is dripping off these nuggets. DM me. You know, I always respond and of course follow my Instagram at the flexible, neurotic duh.
Sarah 01:12:52 Love you talk soon.