A Juicy Midlife… Parenthood, Creative Outlets, And The Importance Of Female Friends

Melinda 00:00:00  I love what I do so much. I definitely have other businesses that I'm going to start. I don't care how old I am, like I will never retire. I will be working until the day I die.

Sarah 00:00:16  Hey peeps, welcome to the Flexible Neurotic Podcast. I'm your host, Doctor Sarah Milken. Yeah, you heard that right. I'm a real PhD doctor. Long, long ago, like last fucking year, I was sitting in the midlife funk wondering, was this it for me? That day, I realized I needed to get off my ass and start my midlife remix. I dusted off my PhD, wiped the menopause sweat off my forehead, grabbed my golden shit shovel, and started digging deep to all my midlife bitches. It's not just luck, coffee and hormones that get you through your midlife remix. It's action steps. Let's do this. Welcome back to the Flexible Neurotic Podcast. I'm Doctor Sarah Malkin, the flexible neurotic. Today I have a hot ass midlife hottie, Marty guest. First time around with her was on zoom.

Sarah 00:01:16  This time we have in person, so we get to see the hair in person. The jeans, the shirt, the outfit, the whole thing. She's a celebrity jeweler. All of her jewelry I want, but I haven't bought all of it. But I have multiples. All these necklaces, rings, earrings. I have two earrings on each year. We're going to talk about what they are. This woman pops up on Instagram, has a huge social media. You're like, I want what she has. Her name is Melinda Spiegel of Melinda Maria jewelry.

Melinda 00:01:50  Hi, Sarah.

Sarah 00:01:51  Look at this hottie. Happy. Oh, my God, what's happening?

Melinda 00:01:56  Is everything okay over there?

Sarah 00:01:57  Everything's good. I'm glad you got your hair colored today.

Melinda 00:02:01  Thank God I got my hair color.

Sarah 00:02:02  Check that shit off. And they're annoying. They're an all day thing, and it.

Melinda 00:02:06  Is a part time job. Since we're talking midlife, yes. First of all, I was like, when you invited me to this episode.

Melinda 00:02:13  Like, I think when we first started, you weren't so diving deep in midlife. Yeah. And now you're like, okay, I'm in it, we're in it. And now I'm like, I can't believe I qualify to be on it, isn't it? Very like I'm happy and it's bittersweet. I'm not gonna let this.

Sarah 00:02:27  Hard and good.

Melinda 00:02:28  Bittersweet year. I was like, what are we going to talk about today? Business. I'm like, great. Yes, check, check. And menopause and hormones. I'm like, wait, wait, what? Oh yeah. It's happening. It's happening, in fact, like, I may have to get up to go to the bathroom maybe four times in this hour. That's totally okay with that bladder.

Sarah 00:02:45  I know.

Melinda 00:02:46  It's a whole.

Sarah 00:02:47  Situation. It's a whole situation. It's no joke.

Melinda 00:02:49  I have to pee like, three times a night.

Sarah 00:02:51  I know I'm down to two, though.

Melinda 00:02:53  How I. I'm like a dog. I like stopped drinking water.

Melinda 00:02:57  I know.

Sarah 00:02:57  So do I, but then I start thinking, as soon as you tell me I can't have something, yeah, then I want it. So then I start hyper focusing on how I need a sip of water. Right? But I feel like Jeremy only gets up once, maybe once.

Melinda 00:03:12  My husband know my husband doesn't get up at all.

Sarah 00:03:15  He doesn't. Wow. Is he hydrated?

Melinda 00:03:19  I don't know, I haven't checked his.

Sarah 00:03:20  He's like a camel.

Melinda 00:03:21  He hasn't. I haven't checked his pee color.

Sarah 00:03:23  He doesn't smell in the bathroom. All right.

Melinda 00:03:25  We have separate bathrooms. So do we happily married?

Sarah 00:03:27  No. No, no. High five.

Melinda 00:03:28  Yes, it is a must.

Sarah 00:03:30  It's a must. I have to say my house, that the house we lived in for 18 years had separate had together. I had one bathroom for the two of us, but we had separate closets because he's OCD and I'm not. Then this new house we moved into four years ago, I was like, I don't really like the fact that we're not sharing a bathroom now.

Sarah 00:03:51  That or he did me. Oh, because I was like, it's so cute that we get to talk. And no, no no no. Yeah. Now I'm like, get the fuck out of here. Oh, I.

Melinda 00:03:59  Have the same bathroom, but I don't have the same closets or.

Sarah 00:04:02  Toilet. No, no, we don't even share a bathroom in this house. I and I love that. I know, but I thought I was going to be traumatized. Yeah, but I'm really not. I know, and.

Melinda 00:04:12  They just seem showering.

Sarah 00:04:14  None of it.

Melinda 00:04:14  I'm going to the bathroom. I'm doing the nasal hair thing.

Sarah 00:04:18  Oh, my God, the ear trim. I'm like, okay, I'm actually gonna vomit. Yeah.

Melinda 00:04:21  Keep some of it a mystery. Mystery. I'd like to be happily I.

Sarah 00:04:25  Know, happy. And he very rarely comes to my bathroom. And the other day he. I'm peeing and he just like the morning pee. That's, like, five hours long.

Melinda 00:04:36  Well, no, because I. Yeah. So he night.

Sarah 00:04:39  So he came to the doorway of my bathroom and he goes, I just want to let you know, I didn't sleep for one minute last night, and I'm literally in the stream of pee, and I'm like, and that's me five nights a week. Like, why do I give a fuck? You didn't sleep last night and I was like, okay, thanks for the update. And then he kind of went on his way. It was just really weird, though. I was like, do you miss me? Like, why are you in here? Why are you guys.

Melinda 00:05:04  You're so.

Sarah 00:05:04  Great? No, it's the whole mid-life like, marriage thing. I'm like, okay, we are. We have Rogaine now. We have retainers. I mean, your whole night routine.

Melinda 00:05:16  Of course I have a whole everything routine. I know, like a residency at my dermatologist office.

Sarah 00:05:20  We share the same. Literally.

Melinda 00:05:22  Oh, you.

Melinda 00:05:22  Jessica. Jessica.

Sarah 00:05:24  Baby sister.

Melinda 00:05:26  She's fine.

Sarah 00:05:28  She is looking hot these days. I'm like, Jessica, I don't get it. Like, what are you doing that I'm not doing? Well.

Melinda 00:05:34  She also doesn't have kids, so she also has. She has access. I'll tell you that. She has time. Yeah, actually she does, but she's perfect. She's access and she's perfection. Perfect. She walks in and her little. Yeah, stilettos and her Dior. She'd just gone to Hong Kong shop.

Sarah 00:05:49  Exactly. Where are.

Melinda 00:05:50  You going? Next week we're going to Hong Kong. We're just for shopping, though. Just for eating and shopping. And I know I'm very questioning my decision to have that second and third child.

Sarah 00:06:01  Totally. But she I.

Melinda 00:06:03  Love listening.

Sarah 00:06:03  To her life. She is amazing. Yes. I swear by her.

Melinda 00:06:07  Well, duh.

Sarah 00:06:08  Duh I mean, I need a refresh. I'll be honest. I'm going after this. I know you have. You want to come with me?

Melinda 00:06:13  I should come literally.

Melinda 00:06:14  My face.

Sarah 00:06:14  I think your 4:00 appointment.

Melinda 00:06:16  I want to know what my favorite thing is in my life. I swear to God. Besides designing jewelry. Yeah. And being a mother.

Sarah 00:06:22  Yeah, I forgot you're a jeweler, right?

Melinda 00:06:24  Fantastic wife.

Sarah 00:06:24  Yeah.

Melinda 00:06:25  I love going to the dermatologist. My dermatologist. I love bringing my friends. I'm the friend that's like.

Sarah 00:06:33  Oh, me too. I'm like, dude.

Melinda 00:06:35  I had a friend that had never done anything and she was turning 15. She was like, what do I want for my 50th? I'm like, I know what I want to give you. And she's like, what? I'm like, you're gonna come to the doctor. You're just you're gonna come to Jessica with me. And she was like, the best gift ever. Just. You need a little bump, you little thing here in this little tweak. What? I like it for me, she's very conservative. I'm going to go in for a she's like, and I'm going to treat you.

Melinda 00:06:57  And she's like, I'm going to go in for a peel. I'm like, okay.

Sarah 00:07:01  No, you need to go in for a.

Melinda 00:07:02  Peel. Let's go. We'll go in for a peel. She got like literally everything. She was like, why did I feel so good? Like, why did I not do this sooner?

Sarah 00:07:12  Okay, so I won't ask you how you feel about certain aesthetic things, because now we know you're in it to win it, and so am I. But there is a lot of judgment around it. Let's be honest, I don't care. Yeah.

Melinda 00:07:25  You don't care.

Sarah 00:07:26  So my. No. But why do you think women are so hard on other women? I feel like it's a big topic. And it's also it's not just a high school thing.

Melinda 00:07:35  Or about everything. Everything.

Sarah 00:07:37  It's like competition. And what I love about you.

Melinda 00:07:42  I mean, I, you know, I might get in trouble for this, but I think Women can be catty women.

Melinda 00:07:49  It's. But it's the women that you choose to surround yourself with because women can be the most important. I mean, it's so funny, like during Covid. My husband was like, I just realized that, like, I just need you and the kids. I'm like, I mean, I love you, but I need my girlfriend. Yeah, they are like my oxygen, but it's the women that are like the good ones, you know, the real good ones that aren't catty and they're the people that you know that you can call and tell them, like your biggest wins. That's the real friend. When you're like, oh my God, listen to what happened to me today. I'm so excited to tell you this awesome thing happened, and you feel it in your gut that they are like, I am so fucking pumped for you. I can't and you deserve it. And I love that for you. And like, those are the real. Those are the real women, you know, like that type.

Melinda 00:08:42  And then you have, you know, those people that you like. They're judgy. They're just judgy. It's like, you know, you're going to walk into a dinner and you're like, I know they're judging my outfit or my purse or whatever. I don't care about that. I truly I think that was that's like one of my superpowers that I was I've developed it more, but I think that I was born like that. I just don't I don't care about that. I'm not saying I'm not. No, but it's about that kind of thing.

Sarah 00:09:06  But the level of confidence of like, I'm going to do me, you do you. And let's just stay in our own lines. Like, yeah, sometimes you're born with it. And sometimes, like you said, you work on it. I think one of the interesting parts of midlife is, I feel like a lot of women who haven't necessarily been like that since birth are actually getting to that point of like, guess what? This is my time for oh, Fox.

Melinda 00:09:31  Yes, yes. Agreed, agreed.

Sarah 00:09:33  Yeah. And it's like.

Melinda 00:09:34  It's a good place to.

Sarah 00:09:34  Be. Yeah. And like the carpool line and all of that, like, I remember I would be I'd have makeup on in carpool and girls with their moms would be like, why is she wearing makeup?

 Like, even if you don't do that.

Sarah 00:10:10  Ever, 100%.

Melinda 00:10:11  Like why? Like and they were judging where you're going to send your child to school based on what the women were wearing or like the idea of what the women were all wearing at this preschool.

Melinda 00:10:24  I'm like, do you fucking hear yourself? Like, are you out of your mind?

Sarah 00:10:28  It's like high school.

Melinda 00:10:29  So yes, but like, you know who those women are. And then you have your diehards that are like, that's how you just got to find your you got to find your, you know, your group of women, and there's literally nothing better than that. Like they're like.

Sarah 00:10:45  You've added you're.

Melinda 00:10:46  Like, my oxygen for me, my friends.

Sarah 00:10:48  Have you added women as you've gotten older to your. Yeah. Because some women are like, no, I just want my old, you know, my old peeps, my whatever. No, I'm. And some women are like in this constant evolution state of like, no, I like her and I just met her and not not competitive. Like being happy when your friends become friends with other other women in your group.

Melinda 00:11:11  Yeah, I'm the literal polar opposite. I realize this the other day. I'm like, I just love people.

Melinda 00:11:19  I love to meet people. I love to hear their stories, I love to, it fills me up. It expands my universe like I am in this business group. Ypo and I've met so many, like just a gaggle of new men and women. And I joined when I was. When was it? Maybe I was like 45 or 44, I think. And it was such this like beautiful. I thought it was just going in for like all business stuff. I'm like, I can't wait amid the CEOs and sit with these. And I have the forum and it's all business. But Papa and I was so surprised at how many truly amazing people I met. And this is, I was, you know, midlife or whatever. And I have I'm really busy with all my friends, but this, like, huge group of people. And then I did, this executive program at Harvard Business School. And I joined this, like, women's Harvard Business School executive program, like WeChat, and they're from all over the world.

Melinda 00:12:18  And I'm like, how amazing that I have all of these groups of friends. And it like takes you out when you expand your world like that and you accept other people in, you're not you don't realize like things aren't as intense. So like meaning I can't give an example, but like, there's just life outside of your bubble 100.

Sarah 00:12:39  You realize like, you're like, not that big a fucking deal. No.

Melinda 00:12:42  You have this, like, life upside of your bubble. It's not that. My kids. Oh, my God, it's not that deep.

Sarah 00:12:46  It's not that deep. Shut the fuck off.

Melinda 00:12:49  Okay, I love that.

Sarah 00:12:51  Is that deep? Sometimes I love that term. I know not that he sends that to me three times a day.

Melinda 00:12:56  Well, daughters, you know they can give the moms.

Sarah 00:12:59  It is that deep. No, young lady. No, but you.

Melinda 00:13:02  Can say it is that deep. But I do love that term. It's not that deep. It's because most things are not that deep.

Sarah 00:13:08  Rumination station.

Melinda 00:13:10  What's that mean?

Sarah 00:13:11  Just like that, you're constantly thinking and rethinking and rehashing. And my kids are like, it's not that deep. It is what it is. It's a fucking fact to move on.

Melinda 00:13:21  I love it.

Sarah 00:13:21  But what I say.

Melinda 00:13:22  Back that and Riz, I can't stop using Riz. I love that word. I don't I'm so happy.

Sarah 00:13:27  It was an English.

Melinda 00:13:28  Dictionary.

Sarah 00:13:28  What is it?

Melinda 00:13:29  It came from charisma.

Sarah 00:13:30  I know, but what.

Melinda 00:13:31  This is like you got motion, you got like, you're cool.

Sarah 00:13:34  It's like your.

Melinda 00:13:35  Vibe, your You're you're charismatic. It's a shortened verb of your character.

Sarah 00:13:39  So you the opposite of Karen?

Melinda 00:13:42  Well, Karen is just a Karen. And yeah, Karen does not have rights. No. Karen does. You know what? We should stop using the word Karen. I have plenty of friends that are Karen that are really amazing and they are not Karen's. I feel bad for that whole terminology. I do think it's terrible.

Sarah 00:13:59  Yeah, I don't, I don't quite, I mean, but.

Melinda 00:14:00  But nothing hits like when you say it. No, nothing quite hits. So I gotta figure out what that is.

Sarah 00:14:07  It's hard is if you're.

Melinda 00:14:07  But I do think that is a mean term. I do think that's a mean term. Yeah I do for all the Karen's out there. You know, some of you might be Karen's, but.

Sarah 00:14:17  I hear you're.

Melinda 00:14:18  A good person to. Yeah. You know what I mean. Like I just don't want to use that term anymore, okay?

Sarah 00:14:22  I mean, how old are your kids?

Melinda 00:14:24  15, 14 and nine. Wow.

Sarah 00:14:28  And they're all.

Melinda 00:14:28  Boys. All boys. See, you're such a boy, mom, that I'm dying to spoil a girl.

Sarah 00:14:35  How do you want mine?

Melinda 00:14:36  Yes.

Sarah 00:14:38  Mine. She's not.

Melinda 00:14:39  No telling me? It's not that deep all the time.

Sarah 00:14:41  Oh, yeah. No. She is. That's what I'm saying to you. I have a son who's turning 20 tomorrow.

Melinda 00:14:46  Yeah, he's so cute. But he's so cute. And, like, I see him on your Instagram. And I love how much you love him. Oh, it's so deep.

Sarah 00:14:55  It's so deep.

Melinda 00:14:56  It's so deep. I love my boys so much I can't even handle it.

Sarah 00:15:00  I know it's good. And he. What's funny about him is like yesterday he was at work. Then he went to play pickleball. Wait.

Melinda 00:15:08  Is he. No, he's not graduated. No, no, it's a summer job.

Sarah 00:15:10  What is it? It's like finance, bro.

Melinda 00:15:13  Okay, good.

Sarah 00:15:13  Got it. So he goes to play pickleball. He kind of was bailing on me for dinner.

Melinda 00:15:21  And so the two of you.

Sarah 00:15:22  Yeah. I mean, the.

Melinda 00:15:23  Fact that he'll go to dinner with you by himself, or even the thought of, like, will entertain, even entertain that thought.

Sarah 00:15:30  Beyond.

Melinda 00:15:31  You have ribs.

Sarah 00:15:32  Oh, I have ribs. But like, I also canceled, like my whole week, sometimes waiting for an invitation.

Sarah 00:15:39  Do you know what I mean? Like, I'm, like, fully available. Oh, you got to play.

Melinda 00:15:42  The game of, like, remember when you would date a guy? You can't play that. You got to play hard to get yesterday I did.

Sarah 00:15:49  Yesterday I did because it's cool. Oh. Like we can.

Melinda 00:15:52  Go to dinner, not go to dinner with like plans and stuff. I'm super busy, no worries.

Sarah 00:15:56  But he did call me on the. He was finished with pickleball and his friends were going with. They were going to Dan Tana's if you can believe that one. And he's like, I'm so sorry I bailed on dinner. I'm just calling to say hi.

Melinda 00:16:08  And I was, oh, that'll fill your cup. Yeah, that'll be your cup. That phone.

Sarah 00:16:12  Call. Yeah. I was like, I'll take it.

Melinda 00:16:14  Oh. He got any.

Sarah 00:16:15  Dated a phone call to me. It just felt.

Melinda 00:16:18  Validated your words validated your feelings.

Sarah 00:16:21  And it was important to you?

Melinda 00:16:23  Yes.

Melinda 00:16:23  You're raising a wonderful man.

Sarah 00:16:24  I know. And I was like, oh my God, how sad for me that that meant so much. God, my poor husband.

Melinda 00:16:31  My husband. You're doing a great job. And he did a great job.

Sarah 00:16:34  He's doing a great show. But having a having a son and a daughter, it's very different. Yeah. Very different. Like sons don't keep score. I feel like daughters keep score a little bit. They're just.

Melinda 00:16:46  Everything is that deep with daughters. Everything is that. Nothing's that deep with boys.

Sarah 00:16:49  Yeah. And. And sometimes I just want to say to her, look, you can't outfox the fox, like.

Melinda 00:16:56  Without revealing how you were a fox.

Sarah 00:16:59  Yeah.

Melinda 00:17:00  You know what I'm saying?

Sarah 00:17:00  I know what's happening here. Like, I get it, like she has a. But they're like, how?

Melinda 00:17:05  But how do you. Yeah, she.

Sarah 00:17:07  Has a very serious boyfriend. She's he's going to college in September.

Melinda 00:17:12  She's what a senior.

Sarah 00:17:13  She's going to be a senior. Yeah. And now we're starting college applications.

Melinda 00:17:18  Oh my God.

Sarah 00:17:19  And I'm like.

Melinda 00:17:19  How are you preparing for that mentally that they're both going to be gone. Are you like I'm looking forward to it. My husband's looking forward to it. Like what the. Because there's very different people. My sister was like, great, I'm good. I'm having the best time of my life. So she and her husband are literally having the time of their life right now. But the kids live near them and stuff like that.

Sarah 00:17:41  But ours is a mixed bag. My son's in Philadelphia like, that's on clothes.

Melinda 00:17:46  That is.

Sarah 00:17:46  Not. But he does come home.

Melinda 00:17:48  Did you preface that with like, you may go to college, but you are going to come home and live here? Well, you know, it was.

Sarah 00:17:53  Interesting for the first few months he didn't come home that much. Yeah, but then I do.

Melinda 00:17:59  How did.

Sarah 00:17:59  You do? I wasn't like a cry.

Sarah 00:18:00  I mean, before he left, I was like, definitely had the ugly cry for sure. Yeah. Then once he left and I saw how happy he was and how, like, just juicy of a life he was living. Yeah. I was like, I'm okay with this. Like, I cook this baby, right?

Melinda 00:18:18  He's cooked.

Sarah 00:18:20  Sure. I'm like, he's baked and cooked. He's having a great time. Joins a fraternity. Amazing. Anything like doing his deejay girlfriend. He did.

Melinda 00:18:30  Okay. And how did you love her? Do you love having her around?

Sarah 00:18:33  He had a very serious girlfriend in high school. I knew the high school girlfriend, obviously really well because she was around for a long time during high school. Yeah. College is a different situation because they're kind of like, yeah.

Melinda 00:18:45  Oh, yeah.

Sarah 00:18:45  You just get like date party, you get date party.

Melinda 00:18:47  Get the women. They're like, oh my God, how are you going to handle when they have a girlfriend? I'm like.

Melinda 00:18:52  Again, like the more the merrier.

Sarah 00:18:55  But that's five different roles. That's like, yeah, for me that's like different roles. Yeah. Of course, like if that woman is not his mother. Yeah. You know.

Melinda 00:19:03  Even though I love my mother in law so much that I would, like, have her live with me.

Sarah 00:19:07  That's that thing a lot.

Melinda 00:19:09  So she. I'll tell you what. You know what? Take some notes. Okay. As a mother and writing. Okay. Future mother, she does not give her opinion about anything without being asked. And she is easy. Go with the flow about pretty much everything. And she's just literally just the most pleasant person to be around.

Sarah 00:19:26  That's amazing. That's it. But I will go in like Flynn.

Melinda 00:19:30  If you nail those three things and then you have your kids closer. I'm just telling you, she's so I would ever live with me.

Sarah 00:19:37  That's amazing. That's really fun. Yeah. Amazing. Yeah. I don't want anyone living with me ha ha.

Sarah 00:19:45  Including my parents. but I will say my in-laws do not give opinions.

Melinda 00:19:51  Like that is so rare.

Sarah 00:19:53  Nope.

Melinda 00:19:54  I hear it all the time. Nope. So lucky.

Sarah 00:19:58  I can't say the same thing about my parents. They've gotten a lot better in the last ten years, but my parents, I can kind of like monitor and be like, of course. But I will say my in-laws are super cool. My kids changed schools. They. Yeah, nobody gave opinions. Everyone's just like, yay! Everybody's happy. Yay! Yeah. Which is such a gift. Oh, great. And I've learned a lot from that and learned a lot of what not to do from my parents. right? I'm just kidding. No. They're amazing saying.

Melinda 00:20:26  Like. Like, by the way, I think like, when we put those pressures on ourselves, especially as, you know, the kids are getting older now, there's less time to pivot and be like, oh, I was doing that wrong.

Melinda 00:20:35  Yeah. You know what I mean? I'm like, okay, my son's 14. And I'm like, okay, there's not a lot of wiggle room right now to.

Sarah 00:20:43  Make.

Melinda 00:20:43  Big mistakes like this is we're in it. We're in the homestretch.

Sarah 00:20:46  Here to pick and choose with your kids. Like like what's deep and what's not right. You know, because some people are like, well, you wait, you let your daughter do that. But I let her do that. And I'm like, but.

Melinda 00:21:00  My point being is that there is that, like finite amount of time to to instill whatever we need to. However, our children also learn things from us that we didn't do right and they might do differently, like we learn from our parents, like our parents weren't perfect, especially this generation. Like our parents are perfect, right? You learn for them, you know the great things, and then you also learn from some things that you're like, okay, I probably would do that differently, or I'm going to I'm doing this differently from what I saw.

Sarah 00:21:28  So my my pressure to.

Melinda 00:21:29  Be perfect parent is, yeah, you know, I don't I don't subscribe to that anymore. I just don't.

Sarah 00:21:35  There is no perfect parent. Yeah. There's like because you could someone could comment like a working mom is not with their kid or a kid. There's so many different ways to slice it. Yeah. And it's interesting for me because I grew up in a house with two working parents, and my mom was like a CEO this larger than life situation, and I chose to do the opposite. But what's interesting is because I started the podcast a few years ago when Jake was 16, he Mike, both my kids have had the opportunity to see me do something outside of them. Yeah, and they're so proud of me. Not to say they wouldn't be proud of me if I didn't do it, but it's a different but it's a different thing. Yeah. Like they see, like, oh, she's filming today with Melinda Maria and wow, that's my.

Melinda 00:22:20  God, they must be freaking out.

Melinda 00:22:23  Like, I cannot believe how.

Sarah 00:22:25  Freaking out you gonna.

Melinda 00:22:26  Get.

Sarah 00:22:27  On your podcast. But it's just it's cool. Like, even when I, like, flew to New York and I got to film with Jennifer Fisher. Like, they get to see that and they get to see me, like, doing something outside of them. And I'm not sitting around waiting for them, even though I am waiting for, like, invitations. Like, you.

Melinda 00:22:45  Don't play that game. Just like play cool. Play hard to get to get. Exactly. You learned anything from me today? Just play a little hard to get.

Sarah 00:22:53  How is that going with your 15 year old? Great. Yeah.

Melinda 00:22:55  Yeah, yeah. He's great. We're totally. He told me I was his best friend the other day. I like what it's like.

Sarah 00:23:00  I love that it must be C for me. I only have one son, so it must be interesting for you having three because you have three very different relationships.

Melinda 00:23:12  Yeah, but, like, my kids are fairly similar.

Melinda 00:23:15  Like, we all have the same sense of humor that.

Sarah 00:23:17  You have to. And my house is like dry humor, sarcasm.

Melinda 00:23:20  Oh my God. We laugh when we go to dinner. I find like going to dinners. So I implemented like maybe like a year ago every Sunday, almost no matter what. We will go out for dinner because at home you sit at the table, they can go, I gotta get up. I got oh no, we have no phones on the table. We're actually super strict about the phones. Wait till your kids get older.

Sarah 00:23:41  It's harder.

Melinda 00:23:42  Well, my kid's 15 right now.

Sarah 00:23:44  I know, but somebody's sexing. They're waiting for a plan and. No, no.

Melinda 00:23:48  No, we're like, no, I mean, we're tough. But anyhow, what was I, midlife I just quickly forgot my. The thought has left the train station, right? Me too. We were talking about.

Sarah 00:24:04  Different relationships with all three. Oh, yeah. That's it.

Melinda 00:24:06  So I will say they're all very similar. Oh, I implemented the Sunday night dinner.

Sarah 00:24:11  Oh, Sunday.

Melinda 00:24:11  That was the greatest thing ever. Because it takes you out of just your whole, like routine and zone. And everyone gets to pick every week a different like place to go or whatever. And we just like sit as a family and we laugh so hard at those dinners on Sunday nights, almost always. and I don't know, I just it's just like my most cherished, cherished things I look forward to. Yeah. All week are those dinners with the three kids in my house, I love that, yeah. But we're we're we all have the same sense of humor, and we just laugh so.

Sarah 00:24:44  Hard on Sundays. We used to order Bay city's, you know, from the Italian deli. And that was our big thing. It's like my parents would come over. Oh, that's a fun city. Yeah. Everyone would have their special order. And then then it started getting harder as the kids got older because it was like, this one has this, and this one has a girlfriend.

Sarah 00:25:02  And and then it just became more complicated. But we definitely like my daughter is flying home tonight. Right. And I was like, okay, from where? she's in Aspen. Okay.

Melinda 00:25:12  What was she doing.

Sarah 00:25:13  Visiting her boyfriend?

Melinda 00:25:14  Oh my God, at his parents house. Yes.

Sarah 00:25:17  Okay, great. And he she. After a 33 day Europe trip.

Melinda 00:25:23  Oh, wow. With who? No. With you guys?

Sarah 00:25:26  No, wait.

Melinda 00:25:26  How old is she?

Sarah 00:25:27  17.5. She went on a Europe trip with a program for 33 days. Oh, no. Friends. Oh.

Melinda 00:25:33  That's amazing. Did she love.

Sarah 00:25:34  It? She loved it. But again, it was like one of those hard and good situations were like. It was a lot of youth hostels.

Melinda 00:25:44  Great for them. Yeah.

Sarah 00:25:45  And like a lot of quarters in the shower, you know, it was wow different.

Melinda 00:25:50  Wowzers.

Sarah 00:25:51  Than the life. She's like I mean.

Melinda 00:25:52  You do our kids, our young kids even know like what a quarter is like.

Sarah 00:25:56  I know like.

Melinda 00:25:57  Literally it's like a paper. I thought about that the other day. I'm like, why do we even teach our kids what changes it?

Sarah 00:26:03  I mean, when.

Melinda 00:26:04  Is the last time you actually took a change, like from cash, which nobody even holds cash anymore, and the you actually got change back and then put it in your pocket. When is the last time you kept change?

Sarah 00:26:15  I don't I don't think I have a change purse. I just throw it at the bottom of my bag and hope it disappears.

Melinda 00:26:21  Coin purse industry.

Sarah 00:26:22  Yeah, I.

Melinda 00:26:23  Know what this has done. What Apple Pay has done to the coin purse industry.

Sarah 00:26:26  You're not in that industry.

Melinda 00:26:28  I'm not in that industry. And yeah, thank the Lord. Thankfully, thank God I did not choose a coin purse.

Sarah 00:26:35  For never going out. I'm sorry to say it's here.

Melinda 00:26:38  What about the thing about jewelry? It has zero purpose other than. But isn't that the other than? It just makes you feel great.

Melinda 00:26:44  That's it. It doesn't keep you warm. You don't need it to sustain yourself. Like to eat like there's nothing I do. Doesn't cover your bits and tits like it. Literally. It has zero, actually zero purpose. Except for to make you so. Okay. Good.

Sarah 00:26:59  Back to the jewelry for a second. Oh, God. I know, talk about. No, no, no, we don't have to do your whole history. We did that on episode one. Someone can go and listen to your whole history episode. Right. But do you have favorite pieces? You make so many.

Melinda 00:27:12  It's usually my newest piece. Like, I'm wearing this amazing necklace.

Sarah 00:27:16  I'm like, I have not seen that.

Melinda 00:27:18  You can't have it. And this is what happens. I design about we drop one collection a month and we design about now we're about 12 months ahead, so I'm designing 12. So by the time I get the piece actually this September 1st, we would just like cannot wait for it's so good.

Melinda 00:27:33  But by the time we get the piece I've like seen it for a year. So I'm on to the next year's collection. Wow. Yeah, but I have favorite pieces. I like the XL hard, I like some chains, but.

Sarah 00:27:43  I have the XL heart they carry necklace, which is the links. They're just so good. And I just got these bubbles.

Melinda 00:27:50  They're so fun. Yeah.

Sarah 00:27:51  What are they called again?

Melinda 00:27:52  Life's a ball, hoop.

Sarah 00:27:53  Life's a ball. Yeah.

Melinda 00:27:54  We like to have fun with our names.

Sarah 00:27:56  Kind of like big ass hoops. We talked about that first episode. Oh we did.

Melinda 00:27:59  I talked about the marketing behind.

Sarah 00:28:00  That I love that.

Melinda 00:28:02  Yeah, it's just fun. It's like jewelry should be fun.

Sarah 00:28:04  Hooper. I think what's good about your jewelry, obviously, is that it's affordable? Is that a right word? Is that a good word? What's the best word for that. And forth between I know, I don't know.

Melinda 00:28:16  yeah. Affordable just makes.

Sarah 00:28:18  Sense.

Melinda 00:28:18  I know cheap because it's not it's very not made.

Sarah 00:28:21  What is it. No. Accessible.

Melinda 00:28:23  Accessible. Is that better accessible okay.

Sarah 00:28:26  Yeah. Yeah. So the idea is that you're kind of wearing red carpet ish jewelry at accessible prices. Yeah. And you're opening a store, your first store and you're opening your first door.

Melinda 00:28:42  we are opening our first store. It was like a very calculated, you know, we were like, oh, should we go here, should we go there? You know, we have a lot of, heat maps on our website. We know, like where the concentration is of our, our buyers. And, I wanted to be in control of it, and I wanted to, like, I want it to be like a hang. I want people to, like, gather and hang and feel like it's a home. And I was like, I want to open a store and not even barely sell any jewelry. I want just people to come feel good.

Sarah 00:29:16  Your office. I love the way your office looks.

Melinda 00:29:19  So it's going to be similar to that and it's going to be in our corporate offices. So on the brand Melrose. Yeah.

Sarah 00:29:25  So you're just going to be able to come into the corporate offices.

Melinda 00:29:28  No. You can't walk up the stairs to all the offices. But no, but we also have the building next door.

Sarah 00:29:33  Oh wow.

Melinda 00:29:34  but yeah, I'll like, pop down and hang out with people.

Sarah 00:29:36  Are you going to have, like, we're going to have artistas and. Yeah, we're.

Melinda 00:29:39  Going to have, we're also opening a gym. So like people can come and work out like right behind the store. There's like a whole like awesome wellness center gym type of thing. It's going to be a whole like lifestyle.

Sarah 00:29:52  Lifestyle.

Melinda 00:29:53  Yeah, yeah. And I don't care if people buy jewelry or not. I mean, it's great and they will, but like, it's literally not the purpose.

Sarah 00:29:59  What is your purpose?

Melinda 00:30:01  I just want people to have I mean, we've built such an amazing community like I've seen now these, like, vlogs and like these.

Melinda 00:30:09  These, I don't even know, because, like, my social media people show me, so I don't know, like, what medium it's on, but like, they've created these community of like. Girls. And I just want a place for people to come and be together like I love people. This is the whole like theme of it. Like I just want people to come and gather, grab a smoothie and whatever we're going to have there. We haven't planned that out, but we first designed like a really chic store, and it was so much about shopping and I'm like, I don't even want to have people shop here. I want people to come and be and take photos together. And just women and men, whoever like, come and gather. And then we had this other space in our building, and we were like, my employees really want to work out during the day. And I'm like, let's use a space because we've got the building next door. It's like, let's use a space.

Melinda 00:31:03  Let's do a whole wellness like gym. We can do infrared panels. Oh my.

Sarah 00:31:07  God.

Melinda 00:31:08  We have we have massage chairs in our office. I just want it's all about feeling good. It's like. Like I said, like jewelry is zero purpose, but to feel good. And I want our whole we're not going to call it a store, we're going to call it like the House or something. Right. We haven't come up with it. So if you think of anything let me know.

Sarah 00:31:24  That's so amazing.

Melinda 00:31:25  yeah. And we'll just, we'll have jewelry there and people you know, buy it.

Sarah 00:31:29  But creating an energy that you feel like people are craving, it's.

Melinda 00:31:33  Like a whole lifestyle. Yeah. Being together, feeling good, being together, gathering, supporting one another.

Sarah 00:31:39  I feel like your jewelry line has a specific demographic, because I feel like when I'm on your Instagram, I mean.

Melinda 00:31:44  We have a demo, we have a demo. But like, you know, because I feel.

Sarah 00:31:48  Young people and people are.

Melinda 00:31:50  Age 18, 20 year olds. I mean, high school girls, like my son's friends are like, totally geek out of it, which is the big there's nothing better than a compliment from a 15 year old.

Sarah 00:31:59  16 year old God, it's so much better.

Melinda 00:32:02  Than.

Sarah 00:32:02  Any of my kids. Girl all my Instagram and make comments. It's so good.

Melinda 00:32:08  And there's nothing better than that. It's so.

Sarah 00:32:09  Good. And my kids are like, oh my God, but they're happy too. At the same time. It's kind of a fun, so.

Melinda 00:32:15  It is cute. My kids are very proud of me. It is very sweet how my kids talk about it, like even just behind my back to friends or yeah, like that. I hear from other friends that that's the goodness.

Sarah 00:32:27  Yeah. It's so good. Yeah. I love that for you. Yeah. And I love that for me too, because you're like, oh my God. Like, it's kind of nice when you get the backhanded like quiet compliment that what maybe wasn't to your face, but you heard them say.

Melinda 00:32:40  Does your son give it more readily than your daughter or does your daughter?

Sarah 00:32:44  It's different, like Jake will say it, whereas Maron will screenshot something and send it to me. That's cute. You know what I mean? It's like it has, like a slightly different feel to it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Melinda 00:32:57  You know, I never will forget that. I had a screenshot in our family chat and my 15 year old sent it to me and he was like, moms and D is following you. And I was like, what? I didn't even know it. I'm like, Holy shit. Sunday is following me. This is nuts. And so forever. I'd like, hang my hat on them. Like, well, like, I mean, you know, just calling you guys. So just saying. And then she did a whole clean sweep like a few years later of, like, following. I think she follows, like two people. And I was like, no.

Sarah 00:33:30  Oh no, but that is funny.

Sarah 00:33:32  It was.

Melinda 00:33:33  Really funny.

Sarah 00:33:33  Because like when I first started my Instagram, I literally had zero followers, you know, because.

Melinda 00:33:37  It was like, so does that right? I just note to self and no to everyone out there. Everyone starts with zero followers. Zero okay. Starts. Don't be intimidated by that.

Sarah 00:33:46  Start. and my, my son would be like, oh my God, mom, you're 200 followers. Oh my God, mom, you're 2000. And he would like, keep track. And then one day it was like, mom, you have 10,000. Oh my God.

Melinda 00:33:58  Oh yeah. They, like, geek out on that.

Sarah 00:34:00  Yeah, it's kind of interesting. And he was like, I can't believe like that many. He didn't say this, but it's sort of like, I can't believe like that many people care about what you're saying or doing, you know. Yeah, it's kind of sweet. It's very.

Melinda 00:34:12  Sweet. And it's a good lesson for them. Yeah.

Melinda 00:34:14  Like especially like start like I'm going to, you know, I'm always going to have Melinda Maria because I love it so much. But and I love what I do. Everyone's like, are you going to sell it? I'm like maybe like a little piece of it, but like just to take some money off the table. But I love what I do so much, but I definitely have other businesses that I'm going to start, like, I, I, I don't care how old I am, like I will never retire. I will be working until the day I die.

Sarah 00:34:43  But you, from knowing your background and like all the kind of different changes you made and places you went, it seems like you're going to be a continuous learner. Like you're always going to be onto your next thing. Even if.

Melinda 00:34:57  I.

Sarah 00:34:57  Love.

Melinda 00:34:57  Continued learning, I love to always learn. Yeah, like I don't read. I don't read like. I was like, what am I saying? Like, I don't read, fiction books, neither do I.

Sarah 00:35:13  You don't.

Melinda 00:35:13  05I read. It's so funny. All my friends read it.

Sarah 00:35:17  No fiction.

Melinda 00:35:17  And I'm like, I just read, like, business journals.

Sarah 00:35:20  And time for.

Melinda 00:35:21  That. Stuff like that. Yeah, I mean, maybe one day, but I've just never. I've been like a news reader. Like, what I consume is the news I read.

Sarah 00:35:28  It has to be something I can bring into my life. Yeah. Think about self help. Yeah, but I can't read fiction. I can't handle fiction books. Maybe if it was like a self-help.

Melinda 00:35:39  You want to join our Melinda Maria book club? We have a book club every month. Yeah, it's all business books. It's all free. We just did this book called biology and the neuroscience of Why people Buy. We're doing Gary V's. That's cool. We're doing these book books.

Sarah 00:35:55  Separate that into your life, like.

Melinda 00:35:57  Right now. And then it always spills into like, okay, how are we incorporating this into our.

Melinda 00:36:01  Yeah, yeah. But yeah, we have you know, it was surprising the people that joined. I was like, oh, I love that. I love that that you're joining this and wanting you see quickly who the people are that are like, oh, I'm I want to learn and like, you know, it's like the founder, the CEO, like the people that are the CMO were all in this book club. And I'm shocked about how many people aren't doing it, but the ones that are.

Sarah 00:36:24  Club just for your employees, you're saying, yeah.

Melinda 00:36:28  Oh, I see, I mean, you can join actually. Thank you. I actually we should extend that. That's really interesting. But then it might not be interesting actually. Or it might be interesting because then we inevitably talk about how we're going to implement into our company.

Sarah 00:36:42  I love that because you could also see how I don't know. I mean, it's like the person who joins Reese's Book club might be different than someone who joins Oprah's Book Club.

Sarah 00:36:53  And maybe that's the reason I.

Melinda 00:36:54  Oh, I think that's the same person.

Sarah 00:36:55  But I'm saying maybe that's the reason I haven't joined a book club willing to. I don't know. I'm just. That's just not my thing right now. Yeah. but maybe that kind of thing with, like, self-help business, like. That's cool. Yeah. Love that. Yeah, yeah. Sign me up. Okay. Let's talk about your hormones.

Melinda 00:37:11  Let's talk about them. They're raging. Let's do. They're angry. Oh my God, angry bitch. She's an angry bitch. Okay. Yeah.

Sarah 00:37:17  So how are you resolving?

Melinda 00:37:18  Really pissed off at her. We're not friends.

Sarah 00:37:20  I'm glad you're dissociating from her. That's cool. Yeah.

Melinda 00:37:23  I am, because I'm really not that person. I'm really not. Totally get it. And it helps with my husband because I'm like, hormones. Sorry.

Sarah 00:37:30  Not me. Well, that's like when I used to be like, yeah, it's my period. And he's like, but you've had your period for like five days.

Sarah 00:37:34  Yeah.

Melinda 00:37:35  It's like a vicious devil that isn't me.

Sarah 00:37:39  So when did you start feeling like it hit me.

Melinda 00:37:41  Like a ton of bricks? All of a sudden I was like, am I having hot flashes? Is that a hot flash? A weird is it hot in here? And I would ask everyone in the office us is it did it all of a sudden change by like 48 degrees. Potter. Right. Did the temperature just go up, like, totally randomly and like two seconds?

Sarah 00:37:57  No, no I haven't. And then those issues.

Melinda 00:37:59  So I have those and then, you know, I'm a super happy person. I feel like very blessed and grateful that I wake up like just happy. And I'm just a happy person. And I've had a few bouts of like feeling blue. They've been a few hours, but nothing like big, but just like, totally not. That's different. Totally not normal for me. And then, I don't know, I see, like, my skin texture a little bit.

Melinda 00:38:25  Not as like glowy. I gotta go to the Wooster and get extra, like, you know, derma planes and, like, salicylic acid peels more often. and then what else? Might I pee all the time? I do drink math. I mean, I'm a crazy.

Sarah 00:38:40  Health.

Melinda 00:38:41  Water, but I also am a very crazy, like health and wellness.

Sarah 00:38:45  Okay, we're getting to that.

Melinda 00:38:46  Like I am a very. Yeah, yeah. I'm like, I don't really drink. I mean, if I do, it's like a quarter glass of wine, like every few months just because I like the taste. But, so I drink a I'm very hydrated at all times.

Sarah 00:38:57  So what did you do? And then hormones, you were like, so what the fuck?

Melinda 00:39:01  Well, so I'm trying. I'm not done with the list, sweetie. I know. Okay. and then, yeah, just like a tiny bit more like a little more irritable. what about sleep? What else? Oh, yeah.

Melinda 00:39:13  Sleep. Oh, forget about it. Yeah. Sleep. I'm going to bed later. I'm not sleeping through the night.

Sarah 00:39:19  Yeah, literally.

Melinda 00:39:20  Three times a night. and then what else is happening with me? Oh, hi. And then I haven't had my period for four months.

Sarah 00:39:27  Oh, yeah. Now you're in a countdown or a count? Up to 12. Exactly.

Melinda 00:39:31  Have you gone through it?

Sarah 00:39:32  Total? No, because I'm on birth control pills. That's a whole story. Because I've been on them since I was 14, I think.

Melinda 00:39:38  Isn't it time? What is your doctor say?

Sarah 00:39:40  It is time. Why are you, No. What purpose.

Melinda 00:39:45  Does it serve.

Sarah 00:39:45  Every purpose? Because I feel, like, decent in my skin.

Melinda 00:39:50  And so it does help your hormones.

Sarah 00:39:52  It does help. A lot of doctors put their their patients on birth control pills because it's a quick fix to a lot of problems. what is your doctor? I, I have like five. I've been on it since I was 14.

Sarah 00:40:04  My body loves birth control pills. My daughter's body does not like birth control pills. Okay. Kind of interesting. Okay. My mom's body loved birth control pills. and then my mom went straight from birth control pills to HRT. But I've been on birth control pills for so long that I'm panicked to just go, okay, I'm going to stop and I'm going to start HRT. So I just started five days ago, the Midlife Menopause Science project on myself.

Melinda 00:40:30  And you have created.

Sarah 00:40:31  This with doctor, my.

Melinda 00:40:33  Doctor thing. So you're just taking like a.

Sarah 00:40:35  Whole doing piece by piece, okay? Because I can't go cold turkey because I'm afraid all my hair is going to fall out. I'm a cold turkey.

Melinda 00:40:42  For the going off the birth control. Okay. Got it.

Sarah 00:40:44  So we're just doing kind of a slow transition out of the birth control pills, but it's going to take a minute. So I just added progesterone a few times.

Melinda 00:40:52  Okay. I was so I was just prescribed my doctor and shout out to Doctor Ali Abadi.

Sarah 00:40:57  She is her too. She's one of my doctors.

Melinda 00:41:00  She is phenomenal. I've never had a more thorough doctor in my life like un.

Sarah 00:41:08  She's one of my five.

Melinda 00:41:09  Oh my God, I don't even know why you need the other four.

Sarah 00:41:12  Well, just because I go to different doctors for.

Melinda 00:41:15  Different, different things. Okay, you have to.

Sarah 00:41:16  Get your kind of, like, gather information from bits and pieces from different people, and I smush.

Melinda 00:41:22  It all together and then have a certain time of like, do they go?

Sarah 00:41:26  Yeah, 100%. I asked my husband that to today. You're so grouchy. You menopause.

Melinda 00:41:31  You know what? It's such a disservice that it's not talked about. I know, because we.

Sarah 00:41:36  I'm going to do an episode, okay?

Melinda 00:41:38  I have all these, like, resources and all these doctors and everyone so readily talks about it openly that I think that that needs to. You know, I feel about you guys. I agree to be something, right? Because, I mean, you have five doctors.

Melinda 00:41:51  Yeah.

Sarah 00:41:51  My husband just did all the same blood work I did. Oh, he did okay. God, I'm the fucking lady shows up in my house and my husband's like.

Melinda 00:41:58  Oh, I need that.

Sarah 00:41:58  Number. Yeah, my husband's like.

Melinda 00:42:00  It shows up in your house. And then where do they send it to?

Sarah 00:42:03  To the different doctors.

Melinda 00:42:05  Okay. And and that's testing. For what?

Sarah 00:42:07  we've test everything. It's like cholesterol, the 17 different parts of cholesterol, all. All that we're doing the shitbox zone. Wait till that comes. The GI mapping. There's four of them to to for my husband. And is that my kid in.

Melinda 00:42:22  Lieu of a colonoscopy or. That is okay.

Sarah 00:42:24  Got it. This is the GI map. Okay. Great. I mean.

Melinda 00:42:27  Like, I'm very excited. I know you're doing all the research for all of.

Sarah 00:42:31  Us, I am.

Melinda 00:42:31  Where can I find your 17 doctors and what you're doing? And I need the road map.

Sarah 00:42:35  And my husband.

Melinda 00:42:36  You should make an app.

Sarah 00:42:37  Really?

Melinda 00:42:38  Yes.

Sarah 00:42:39  Of all, yes.

Melinda 00:42:40  I would sign up for.

Sarah 00:42:41  The Sierra Crazy.

Melinda 00:42:42  App. Yes. That is not crazy. That is like very well informed and I would like to not do the work I know, and just figure out what you're doing. And it's like my friend Brett Casson. Do you know Brett? Shout out to Brett Casson. Smith I do kind of everything Brownwood with me. She's the fucking.

Sarah 00:42:58  Best. My, my my brother was best friends with her brother are so good. But I've been seeing her Brett.

Melinda 00:43:04  Like my friend that when she does like for instance, she did all the research for all the like camps, summer camps. And I'm just like, okay, Brett, where am I sending my.

Sarah 00:43:12  That's me. Yeah. You're the.

Melinda 00:43:14  You're the Brett.

Sarah 00:43:15  I'm the flexible neurotic.

Melinda 00:43:16  Exactly. Thank you so much. Everyone needs a flexible neurotic Sarah Milken and Brett Carson Smith in their life for these purposes. Maybe because.

Sarah 00:43:24  Brett.

Melinda 00:43:24  Just told me. Okay, this is where we're sending the kids. I'm like, totally.

Sarah 00:43:28  I know, is that make life so easy when you have those friends?

Melinda 00:43:31  Yes, yes. So my point is, you're going to make an app for this like thing because there's there's no concierge that's like all your body's, like, really? That kind of doctor? Yes. There's no one hub, a concierge type. Why do you think.

Sarah 00:43:48  I spend half my life dealing with this? And I say to my husband, I'm like, you're so fucking lucky because all these supplements came in the mail yesterday. Some had to be refrigerated. And he's like, what the fuck is going on here? I love? And I go, you just wait because I'm going to be aging backwards and you're going to become antique.

Melinda 00:44:07  Guess what? Get on the program, sweetie. And so you want to be married if you want to be married in the same yes, trajectory.

Sarah 00:44:15  But he.

Melinda 00:44:15  Always.

Melinda 00:44:15  And we will.

Sarah 00:44:16  Still be months to buy it.

Melinda 00:44:17  Okay. That's okay.

Sarah 00:44:18  I got a call on Skippy, then he got one. But I have to go first.

Melinda 00:44:22  My husband just kind of does what I.

Sarah 00:44:24  Yeah, but mine is eventual because he was like, don't give me 40 supplements. I'm not doing weird injections because I was like, oh, we might start nad injections. He's like, oh yeah, yeah. No. Mr. does that. Yeah. He's like, I'm not doing that. I'm like, oh.

Melinda 00:44:37  Yes, I made my husband. Yeah, he he kind of just does what I'm like. This is the research. This is good, blah blah blah. Yeah, but I have my sister. Shout out to Sarah Hamilton face. your sisters are so pretty.

Sarah 00:44:49  You guys are like, like a J. Crew.

Melinda 00:44:51  Thank you so much. Thank you so much. but they my sister is like a super, super health and longevity seeker. And so I literally call her for everything health and wellness.

Melinda 00:45:03  So both of them. You're both doing an.

Sarah 00:45:04  Ad injection soon? Yeah.

Melinda 00:45:06  She's doing everything. She's doing the pellets and she's doing. She has a hyperbaric chamber in her house. Oh, God. Oh, yeah. No, no, no, they're building a whole health well, they own an amazing, like, health and wellness and grocery store in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho. Wow. And my sister owns multiple med spa nurses. Oh, my God, you should. She's. Wow.

Sarah 00:45:28  What is she in LA?

Melinda 00:45:29  You have to interview? Wow, wow. She is literally just. And the way she talks about all the things that she knows, she's just like it just flows out of her everything. And she is just like deep in research, always about the doctor and what this pill does and what this thing.

Sarah 00:45:47  That was going at my house, going on in my house right now, there's there were several deliveries, refrigerators filled, and my husband is just like, he does not know what's going to hit him because he had to do all the blood work.

Sarah 00:46:01  And now it's his turn to do the follow up with the doctor.

Melinda 00:46:04  I have time, like a lot of this takes so much, so much time.

Sarah 00:46:07  So like much.

Melinda 00:46:08  Time as your kids are leaving. I told my husband the other day, I'm like, we need to plan. Like, you know, he he is. I'm like, we need to plan. Like I'm such a I'm going to be and I am such a health and wellness seeker. And as we get older, I'm going to be like a huge longevity seeker. That's what I'm.

Sarah 00:46:27  Doing. I'm like, I.

Melinda 00:46:27  Want to do it with you, alongside with you. You know, I want you. And he's like really becoming like, you know, sending me articles now, but oh my God. He's like super excited about that. All that stuff. And I'm like my vision of as we get older, we'll start another company, we'll still be working and we'll be like traveling when we can and like health and wellness and longevity seekers.

Melinda 00:46:50  And I'm like, I want to do that with you. And he's like, now, like, I'm excited.. My daughter still has this year of school. We still have to see where she's going to college.

Melinda 00:47:24  That is hard. I feel like as people get older and their kids leave about like, what are your you all of a sudden you're back together again.

Melinda 00:47:32  Like.

Sarah 00:47:33  That's what what.

Melinda 00:47:34  Are your.

Sarah 00:47:34  Interests.

Melinda 00:47:35  That align together? I think that it's not that easy thing.

Sarah 00:47:38  It's something that we're definitely working on because he plays golf and is like a master piano player and all these hobbies. It's hot, but I don't. It's hot.

Melinda 00:47:47  He piano playing.

Sarah 00:47:48  Yes, he tells it. Yeah. He tells me that I don't care, which is sort of true.

Melinda 00:47:51  Oh my God, that is very attractive. It is. Yes. And the last thing that someone's good at is attractive.

Sarah 00:47:57  I know, but he's kind of good at a lot of things, so it's annoying.

Melinda 00:48:00  It must be so hot for him.

Sarah 00:48:01  No, I'm just saying no, that's. I'm waiting for the testosterone to kick in. Wake up. Yeah. He's going to listen to this and be like, okay.

Melinda 00:48:10  He's like, see, other guys think I'm hot. Yeah.

Sarah 00:48:12  He tells me he gets passive compliments from me only through listening to my podcast. Oh, I know, that's sweet.

Melinda 00:48:18  I think we need to compliment. We do, we do. I think like they you know, it's not they're they're not programmed to ask for it like women are. And I do think like the more like, you know, we verbalize the things that we appreciate that they do. It's just like makes them melt.

Sarah 00:48:36  I know.

Melinda 00:48:37  Right? Like anytime I'm like, oh, thank you for whatever picking up max that I didn't have to like. I really appreciate that. He's just like, I don't know. They need.

Sarah 00:48:47  That. They can count it in there like they. Yeah. But I think there's like everyone has like a bank, like an emotional love bank. And I feel like you gotta like, drop into the and do some like like depositing. Yes.

Melinda 00:48:58  Yes it's important. Yeah. You do. Yeah.

Sarah 00:49:00  But he's going to he joins in on the whole thing five minutes after I started okay. Soon he's going to have all the weird things and that's great. Also that I haven't started yet.

Sarah 00:49:09  They just came yesterday.

Melinda 00:49:10  Yeah. My sister does like peptide. She does like certain injections stuff. They have infrared panels. They have I mean literally hyperbaric chamber like they are dialed in.

Sarah 00:49:20  So what are the things that you do right now for your kind of health and longevity shit? Because obviously you look amazing. You feel relatively normal. Yeah.

Melinda 00:49:30  I feel good. Aside from all the menopause. Yeah, I still feel pretty great.

Sarah 00:49:34  Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's how I feel, too.

Melinda 00:49:36  What do I do? Well, I've always eaten very, very clean my whole life. I grew up like that. Like, we're like whole foods. Like when Whole Foods came out, I was like, yes, Lord, thank you.

Sarah 00:49:47  Hallelujah. You don't eat gluten. You don't eat.

Melinda 00:49:49  Dairy. Really? I eat dairy here and there. I'll have like a hard cheese now and then. But I stopped drinking milk a while ago. just like my food is, like, really important.

Melinda 00:50:02  I don't really, I never really drank like I drank, you know, in high school, a tiny bit, like.

Sarah 00:50:07  You'd be like a party girl. Like the like. But like I centre of the party. But I.

Melinda 00:50:11  Still am. But I don't need the alcohol.

Sarah 00:50:13  I don't drink at all.

Melinda 00:50:14  Yeah. So. And when did you stop doing that?

Sarah 00:50:16  I never did.

Melinda 00:50:17  Oh, see, I love that. So you and I are going to be hand-in-hand like here in LA. Never. And like so because my husband either I really same with my husband. Same. It's great. I really think a lot of diseases as people get older are from alcohol. I think alcohol is like poison, I do.

Sarah 00:50:36  I'd rather have sugar than alcohol. You probably don't need either.

Melinda 00:50:39  I try not to. Yeah, no, I try not to. But yeah, I just am like obsessive about what I eat. Like I barely eat. Like I don't even like to eat out a lot now, recently like, because I'm just like, I don't know what's in it.

Melinda 00:50:51  I don't eat salad dressings when I'm out because they're all full of like seed oils and all that stuff. And I always ask for that's a hot tip. Even the organic bottles that you get from the grocery store and you think like, oh, it's organic, it's fine. It's really shit oils usually. So you have to look and make sure it's like an avocado or an olive oil avocado. I don't I always just ask for like a olive oil and a side of balsamic and like I do like a little wing it. Yeah, a little salt and a little pepper. I did.

Sarah 00:51:21  See you at dinner at Puerto Villa with Rachel, Zoe and her husband. What did you eat there?

Melinda 00:51:26  when I'm at dinner. Like I have become a little obsessive. Like I know they don't have organic stuff here, and that that kind of like screws with my brain because I'm. I'm pretty obsessive about that. I'll have like. And then I think, like, they definitely aren't getting, like, beef and chicken I know.

Sarah 00:51:44  So I don't I don't.

Melinda 00:51:46  Really eat chicken out a lot. I'll have like, lentil soup or salad or.

Sarah 00:51:54  So you just go out for the social part and you just try not to.

Melinda 00:51:57  Yeah, but I mean, I love. Don't get me wrong, I there are a handful of restaurants that I'm, like, obsessed with the food. I'm just saying in my head, I'm very thoughtful about like, okay, I'm not going to get the dressing, I'm just going to get olive oil and balsamic because it's not a seed oil. However, they restaurants almost always cook everything in a bad oil.

Sarah 00:52:16  Yeah, because it's cheaper.

Melinda 00:52:18  Yeah.

Sarah 00:52:18  So do you cook?

Melinda 00:52:20  I do I'm starting to cook a little a little a little bit more I, you know, I am stricken with this guilt of being completely using all my time to be really, get shit done. And so I have a guilt of, like, if I'm cooking that I have two hours that I'm cooking or an hour that I'm not either with my kids or I'm not working.

Melinda 00:52:46  So I've sort of, like, recently given myself grace of, okay, I'm going to cook for an hour, I'm going to chop vegetables, I'm going to do whatever, I'm going to prepare. but for a really long time, I was like, okay, I need somebody else to do that so that I can either be with my kids or work.

Sarah 00:53:03  But do you enjoy it? I hate it.

Melinda 00:53:05  I do, I do enjoy it, but simple stuff. Yeah. I'm not like, let me make a cordon blue, Bubba. Bubba. Like, I don't do that. but what else do I do? I do, I don't know. I'm a crazy person about, like, exercise and building muscle team. I do Pilates, like, 3 to 4 days a week, and it's really hard. Like, I have a girl that comes to my house and she is. It's hard. Like I can almost barely finish every single set.

Sarah 00:53:31  My I do Pilates in my house too, and my husband's like, I can hear you yelling.

Sarah 00:53:36  And he's like, he's like, the moans are.

Melinda 00:53:52  Yeah, I know, yeah, but I do that. And then I make sure I get cardio in. But I'm. It's so important to build muscle.

Sarah 00:53:59  So important. It's so important.

Melinda 00:54:00  For everything and even for like, I mean, I bent over and picked like a shampoo bottle up in the shower and I threw out my back. I was like, are you fucking. Is this where I'm at right now? Wow. Is this where I'm at is I'm literally throwing my back out. I didn't even pick up anything heavy. It's so.

Sarah 00:54:15  Annoying. It's like when I go to the back seat to grab my purse if I, I'm like, why did I just so.

Melinda 00:54:20  Like, I really, I know, so I really like every move I make. Now I'm like, okay, how am I getting up? How am I sitting down, how am I? BA ba ba ba. Like I even like twisted a little bit this morning and I like talked my like lat here, not lat my what are these abdominal. No these are like the obliques.

Sarah 00:54:41  The oblique.

Melinda 00:54:42  Yeah. Like like talked my oblique. And I couldn't walk for like five minutes. I'm like, oh my God. I like, twisted my muscle by just like getting out of it. So I think like that. I'm so thoughtful. Now I'm going to be thoughtful about, like, getting out of bed, but I'm so thoughtful about every move I make because, like, we can hurt ourselves more easily. Building muscle.

Sarah 00:55:01  Which almost killed me, right? I mean, building.

Melinda 00:55:03  Muscle is so important.

Sarah 00:55:05  The building.

Melinda 00:55:06  And then I have a lot.

Sarah 00:55:06  Of is annoying because lifting weights is annoying.

Melinda 00:55:09  Yeah, but Pilates is like you're building a lot of muscles and Pilates. It's.

Sarah 00:55:13  I do Pilates and weights and the treadmill. Not all. I mean, you look amazing, but I'm just like, yeah, and I don't want to be doing it. It was funny. My hairdresser yesterday. She goes, do you remember when you said not work out? Because I've been with her for a long time and I was like, yeah, I do, but right now that's not a fucking option. It's literally so crucial. Necessary, yeah, for your body at this age.

Melinda 00:55:36  But I grew up like I would run with my dad like five days a week since, like second grade. Like, I grew up in a super healthy health and wellness kind of house.

Sarah 00:55:44  That's crazy. Okay, so wait, what?

Melinda 00:55:46  Back then I vitamin a ton of vitamins.

Sarah 00:55:47  Back to the hormones for a second. So what are you on now?

Melinda 00:55:50  So I just was prescribed estrogen and progesterone. The patch, the patch for the estrogen and a pill for the progesterone.

Melinda 00:55:59  And I haven't pulled the trigger to take them yet. I just am like, I need to sit with it. I need to do the research. I need to like I need to like, absorb it a little bit and figure out now you're going.

Sarah 00:56:09  To have a conversation because.

Melinda 00:56:10  I besides, like the peeing, the hot flashes do not bother me.

Sarah 00:56:14  Okay?

Melinda 00:56:15  The peeing bothers me a little bit at night. maybe the sleep a little bit bothers me, but other than that, like, it's not that.

Sarah 00:56:24  But what's your fear?

Melinda 00:56:28  That I'm not going to like the way it makes me feel.

Sarah 00:56:31  But then it's a science experiment.

Melinda 00:56:33  Yeah, and then I go on top of it.

Sarah 00:56:34  So, like, I took progesterone for three days. Okay. How low.

Melinda 00:56:38  Were your. How low were yours were. They were both low. Pretty low pretty low. Like 23 like okay. Do you remember the number. No okay.

Sarah 00:56:46  Because I have midlife amnesia. No. Right. Right.

Sarah 00:56:48  But they were like they're really low. And when you take birth control pills, you're also getting, like, weird false numbers, too.

Speaker 3 00:56:55  I've never taken a birth.

Sarah 00:56:56  Oh my god. so I was like, okay, I'll try it. So they gave me the standard 100 milligram pill. I'm going to call you and.

Melinda 00:57:05  Tell you what she.

Sarah 00:57:06  Prescribed. I took it for three days. Yeah. And I slept great, but I couldn't. I didn't relate because. Because I slept great. I didn't relate. This other symptom to the pill is that I felt hung over.

Melinda 00:57:19  Oh that's horrible.

Sarah 00:57:21  But it was too much progesterone for me. And my body.

Melinda 00:57:25  Prescribed that to.

Sarah 00:57:26  One of my doctors. Okay. And so I called and I was like, hey, look, it was great. When you woke up.

Melinda 00:57:31  You would feel hungover.

Sarah 00:57:33  Yeah. Okay. Like I woke up, I was like, wow, I slept so great. And then I, like, go out of bed and I'm like, oh, I kind of just feel hungover, like, heavy.

Sarah 00:57:41  And you.

Melinda 00:57:41  Took estrogen and.

Sarah 00:57:43  Progesterone? No. Estrogen is in my birth control pill. It's a different kind of estrogen. But it's an estrogen.

Melinda 00:57:47  Yes. Okay.

Sarah 00:57:48  Got it. So I said to my doctor, I was like, this is great because I can sleep, but I feel hungover. So she was like, well, I will describe it at a compounding pharmacy. This is when we get into like high maintenance situation.

Melinda 00:58:03  You know, I'm very familiar with the compounding.

Sarah 00:58:05  And the compounding pharmacy did the did the progesterone in 25 milligram pills so I could do my science experiment. So last night I took 50mg and I feel fine today. Okay? And I said, oh, you're just starting. Oh, yeah.

Melinda 00:58:21  Oh my God, are we the same age? How old are you?

Sarah 00:58:22  I'm turning 50 in February.

Melinda 00:58:24  I'm turning 50 in April.

Sarah 00:58:25  There you go.

Melinda 00:58:26  You look really good.

Sarah 00:58:28  Oh, so do you know.

Melinda 00:58:29  I said we look like.

Sarah 00:58:30  Oh, yeah, we are.

Sarah 00:58:31  We look really good. yeah. So. But it was just. It was interesting. You. The point is, you have to be your own advocate. Yes. Like your doctor. Right? Not sitting at home going. I wonder how that 100mg went with Sarah. Yeah. So, like, you have to be like, wait, that didn't feel 100% right. I want to know if there's an option. Don't just accept things for what they are like. Somebody says, take 100. So you continue to take 100 for two weeks. No, I can't do that. Right. So anyway, that was science. Then I started testosterone five days ago.

Melinda 00:59:06  Okay.

Sarah 00:59:06  And it's supposed to make you less tired. It's supposed to increase your libido. But some people say it takes six weeks to kick in. I don't know, I haven't had anything negative. I don't take the pellets. I heard those aren't great for you.

Melinda 00:59:21  Oh, they love them literally.

Sarah 00:59:23  Because you can't manage the amount.

Sarah 00:59:25  Once you put it in, you can't take it out, right? That's true, that's true. That's the they.

Melinda 00:59:29  Love whatever.

Sarah 00:59:30  Whatever they're on that works for them. But like most people when they're starting out, yeah, you can't control it as much. Right? Right. Me being a control freak, I want to be like, oh, the two milligram cream isn't, like, high enough or it's too high, and I can, like, quickly change it. The pellets you can't change. Right. So that's that. Yeah. so those are that's what I'm doing right now. And then I'll eventually, once I get the progesterone and the testosterone down pat, then I have to figure out the patch thing going from wait for your apple to the patch. Yeah. Totally. Totally. It sounds like you have a team of your own.

Melinda 01:00:08  A team of my own for doctors.

Sarah 01:00:10  Or just like you have a good set of doctors.

Melinda 01:00:13  Yeah, I do, I do.

Sarah 01:00:14  And what supplements do you take?

Melinda 01:00:16  Oh my God, so many.

Melinda 01:00:19  I take biotin, poly resveratrol, resveratrol. omega 639. I mean, like, I don't.

Sarah 01:00:29  Know, like a thousand of them.

Melinda 01:00:31  I'd say I take about I take a pre pro, pre and probiotic. I would say I take like maybe 12 a day.

Sarah 01:00:40  Yeah. I'm, I'm like at least 12.

Melinda 01:00:42  Yeah I think about 12. But I don't take them I just take them at lunch I have to have food but I just. Oh. And then oh, oh one thing that's really interesting. So in my family it's actually very common because I learned this from my sister. She had this blood panel work done and I was like, God, I'm just like a little lethargic in the middle of the day. Yeah. And she said, I bet you don't process vitamin B12 very well. And she's like, you have to. Yes, you have to get it methylated. And she's like, I tested positive for that gene or whatever that I don't methylated vitamin B12. So I just started taking the methylated version of vitamin B12.

Melinda 01:01:21  And I'm taking like a third of the dose. I actually am going to increase it today. because I'm super sensitive to vitamins and like my stomach and things like that. But I swear it's made a difference in like, my grogginess during the day. So that was a big, huge fat nugget for me. Was the methylation. Yeah. The methylated, vitamin B12, I have that and I think like 50% of the population, 100% don't process vitamin B12 very well.

Sarah 01:01:48  My kids and my husband are the same. Yeah.

Melinda 01:01:50  So do they take the methylation? Yeah.

Sarah 01:01:52  I mean, I'm the only one who religiously does it. Everyone else I annoyed to do it.

Melinda 01:01:56  Oh yeah I have like my kids vitamins passed out with like.

Sarah 01:01:59  I've done that 10,000 times. And then for my son I would I made individual baggies because I was like, okay, yeah, you can just take the baggie out and put it in your pocket. He never used it.

Melinda 01:02:09  He doesn't. I just have them take it before I literally all my kids have their vitamins next to their nightstand, and they take it before they go to bed.

Sarah 01:02:16  Yeah, my daughter used to do that, and it's like a whole. It's a whole thing.

Melinda 01:02:20  No, it's a whole thing. Like when they're like, okay, mom, I'm out of my vitamins. I'm like, oh my God.

Sarah 01:02:24  Don't you.

Melinda 01:02:24  Hate ours?

Sarah 01:02:25  Doing the no.

Melinda 01:02:26  It probably took me. I do it takes me to probably two hours.

Sarah 01:02:29  And then I'm like, wait, did I do that one already?

Melinda 01:02:32  Actually, I had them join in with me. So, like, whoever is vitamin I'm doing, I'm like, okay, isn't it crazy how quickly you.

Sarah 01:02:40  Run out of them? Yes. My husband opens the box yesterday and he's like, are you going to bankrupt me?

Melinda 01:02:45  Oh my God. I have two, shelves in my pantry of just back stock. Yes, because I do their vitamins. I do everyone's vitamins. And then for about six weeks.

Sarah 01:02:55  Yeah, six weeks. And he doesn't realize how many vitamins like you take. Yeah. And you get to the end really fast.

Sarah 01:03:02  Yeah. And I was like.

Melinda 01:03:03  When they're, when they tell me that I'm like, mom, my vitamins are out.

Sarah 01:03:06  I'm like. No, no, no, I know, and I don't want to have anyone else do it. No, I know I went to the dentist yesterday. I have my teeth cleaned every three months.

Melinda 01:03:15  Same. I'm on that program too.

Sarah 01:03:17  So good. So many women are like, wait, why? I'm like, I don't know. They told me to. Yeah.

Melinda 01:03:21  It's just like, feels good. Keeps them clean. Yeah. Do you bleach your teeth? I do.

Sarah 01:03:26  Do your pearly whites. Does it sting? I haven't done that yet.

Melinda 01:03:30  It does. Yes.

Sarah 01:03:31  Like bad.

Melinda 01:03:32  Yeah. It's not good. It's not fun.

Sarah 01:03:34  How?

Melinda 01:03:35  Like, just bear through it. You just gotta bear through it.

Sarah 01:03:37  Is it for a day or several days? About a.

Melinda 01:03:39  Day? Yeah. Didn't you have.

Sarah 01:03:41  A van once that was in front of your.

Melinda 01:03:43  House? I have a van. We have a big sprinter. Badass. Melinda Maria van. No.

Sarah 01:03:47  No fun? No. The teeth whitening. Bad teeth whitening. Yeah, I'm seeing that. Oh my God, girl, girl.

Melinda 01:03:54  If you know anything about me, I have everyone. This is where my efficiency, like, comes in, where I'm.

Sarah 01:04:01  Like, God, it's so.

Melinda 01:04:02  Good spending an extra hour and a half, traveling to the place and traveling back. I could be spending that time either working or being with my kids. So I have everyone come to me. I'm so efficient about my time.

Sarah 01:04:15  I totally remember seeing that van.

Melinda 01:04:17  I think they went on a business or something was so sad, but it was such a brilliant idea. Then I saw them down the street at my friend's house and Bubba. Bubba? Yeah, my teeth whitening van.

Sarah 01:04:26  I loved that I need to do that. okay. If there are women out there who are thinking about who are like, itchy for their next thing and they're feeling like, I don't know how to do this, I can't do this.

Sarah 01:04:39  Who am I to do?

Melinda 01:04:40  I hate both those sentences. I don't know how to do this and I can't do that. Okay. Yes you can. Sorry. Like I literally figured out I didn't have any mentors. I didn't have, like, just start just.

Sarah 01:04:52  Your story is crazy like you. I mean.

Melinda 01:04:54  In a good way.

Sarah 01:04:55  No. It's like you graduated from high school. You applied to be a nanny in New York. You've never been, like, the whole thing. It's crazy.

Melinda 01:05:02  Yeah, Then because I'm like a doer. I'm like some, like, when I was in school, I loved certain teachers, but for the most part they bored me. And I was like, I gotta just get I gotta get out and do. I'm like a get me in there. Let me figure it out. I gotta do. And so, you know, I hadn't even been to I hadn't been to very many places outside of Spokane, Washington. But I think back to that girl and who I was, and I realized like, oh, it was like a light bulb moment for me.

Melinda 01:05:29  I was like, I wasn't a bad student because the student, the the classes that I was interested in, I did extremely well. And that was very few, because I was just not interested in how the teachers taught. And I was like, I just got to get out and do.

Sarah 01:05:44  But but I feel like there's a lot of entrepreneurs that fit into that category.

Melinda 01:05:47  It's a very entrepreneurial like, I want.

Sarah 01:05:49  To learn shit that relates to me and my life and what I want to be doing and not be reading, like philosophy or whatever.

Melinda 01:05:57  Exactly. That's why I, I'm a reader of Fiction. Yeah. Like business journals, business books, like. And also self-help books. I'm interested in just becoming a better person.

Sarah 01:06:08  So women.

Melinda 01:06:09  Just get.

Sarah 01:06:10  To midlife and they're like, oh my God, I should have done this 20 years ago. I was having kids. I was a mom. Like, how do you just start without the judgment and the noise from the outside?

Melinda 01:06:21  First of all, ego is the devil.

Melinda 01:06:25  So like if you have an ego about what people are going to say about you and, and you know that is going to affect you, like try to figure out how to quiet that noise because I got news for you. People do talk about you. I mean, even probably friends do and gossip about like, oh, she's starting this. Bup bup bup bup bup like that's gotta you gotta just check your door at the your ego at the door because it just. It's not good for anybody. Secondly, the. Oh, I wish I would have done it 20 years ago. Well, I wish I would have bought like Apple stock 20 years ago. Like we all have that, but like, you only have a finite a time left in your life. Like do things that scare you. Like I'm looking for things now that freak me out to do. Like anything, any opportunity I get to do something that like, oh, that scares me and it makes me nervous. And Bubba, like, I'm like, I'm in.

Melinda 01:07:19  And I made that commitment.

Sarah 01:07:20  To my failure. Like, let's say you. I can't even think of something, but you start a kid's jewelry line, I'm making it up a teenage jewelry line and you're like, oh, that kind of stuff.

Melinda 01:07:30  I have collections that flop. I have like ideas that like, I've had ideas that I've developed in different sort of businesses where I'm like, spend a lot of time and I'm like, okay, ultimately it's just not going to work. I like.

Sarah 01:07:43  And you don't personally, nobody would.

Melinda 01:07:44  Start. No, no, I mean, nobody would start anything if they were just worried about failing.

Sarah 01:07:51  But you can come back from failure pretty quickly, like you're okay.

Melinda 01:07:55  Every single entrepreneur has had failures throughout their journey. Like whether it's different.

Sarah 01:08:00  Now because I feel like every so much is so public right now because of social media, right. That like where if you started your jewelry company, I don't know, 20 years ago, not every little thing would have been like this online extravaganza.

Sarah 01:08:16  But now it's like, okay, you're behind the scenes, you're showing it, there's vulnerability. You're talking about maybe things that failed and didn't do well, but you're also talking about things that did well. It's just more public and more viewed, I think. Right. So I think you really have to kind of grow a thick skin to be in a public game, because if you're putting yourself on Instagram and whatever, you're you're basically saying, I'm okay with being critiqued to a certain extent.

Melinda 01:08:42  Yeah, 100%. Like that's where your ego has just got to be checked. Like, had I not check my ego at the door when I started my jewelry line, do you think people are like, oh, wonderful, like you didn't go to business school and you're starting a jewelry line along with every other like actress in LA. Like, do you think people took me seriously? Why do many years.

Sarah 01:09:03  Different and you were so successful? There's a lot of women who want to start jewelry lines.

Melinda 01:09:07  Yeah, because I, I don't know, I first of all, I had no other backup.

Melinda 01:09:14  Like, I didn't have money coming in from my parents, like there was no other backup. And it was that it's that same like entrepreneurial tenacity of like, I just got to get there and do it. And I didn't overthink anything. I wasn't overthinking any failure. I, I still get rejected on things that I like. We reach out to a company like, hey, do you maybe want to partner this? Like there's still rejection, like, even though I'm, you know, have a very successful company. Like, I just never look at rejection as like, okay, this is time for me to stop because somebody said so, like, I that's not the the path that I follow or like the voice that I listen to in my head. but I also have a complete and utter and total, obsession with jewelry. so it just makes me happy. So I was I feel so lucky that I had that from a very, very, very young age. It wasn't something like, oh, I think I kind of like this.

Melinda 01:10:12  And but it was like a I would go down to Nordstrom. you know, when I was like couldn't afford any jewelry and just sit and see, like I knew all the, the jewelry sales people there. And I would talk about each brand and I would know when they would. Then Audrey would come in the new Naderi and stuff like that. Like when I picked my prom dress, I like, bought the piece of jewelry and then figured out what I was going to wear around it, like I just felt. I feel, and I felt very blessed that I had that, like, obsession with something.

Sarah 01:10:40  I think it's an interesting point, because a lot of times when women are like, wait, I don't know what to do next. It's hard, it's hard, that's hard. And I think a lot of times there are people like you who have had these sort of lifelong passions, and maybe they've attended to them and maybe they haven't. Yeah. and you're kind of lucky if you have one, like a little secret one because you don't it doesn't require.

Sarah 01:11:01  It's not that it doesn't require as much. It's just it seems like an easier fit. Like for me, I didn't have that. So for me, I was like, okay, I'm a good student. I've changed. What am I going to do now? I'm 45.

Melinda 01:11:13  I love talking to people.

Sarah 01:11:14  Yeah, exactly. So I'll start a podcast.

Melinda 01:11:17  Here's what I'll say about especially midlife, you know, if women are doing it like, let's just say you're pretty set up. Find it like you don't need the income. Like I think people think too, overthink too much. Like, if I do this, it has to be this great success in this huge recognize like business or accolades. And I'll say like, no, like I always ask entrepreneurs like, what's the goal for you? Like, why do you want to do this? And I always, you know, get scared of the people that are like, because I just want it to be successful and make money. And I'm like, that's not going to lead you.

Melinda 01:11:52  That's not going to get you through the times that are just like, so brutal and so hard and the times where unless it's like an authentic passion, you know, and you feel like authentic about what you love doing, it's going to just be ten times harder. But like people just think that it has to be this like giant like success with all these accolades. It doesn't like.

Sarah 01:12:13  I think there's a.

Melinda 01:12:14  Success.

Sarah 01:12:14  I look at.

Melinda 01:12:15  Driven, right? So I look at these, these women when I go to the farmers market, and I love stopping by and chatting with them, and I even buy some things sometimes just to support them. But like, there's so many jewelry designers at farmers markets and I'm like this and sometimes I get recognized by them and they're like, how did you do it? How did you get to the thing? I'm like, you got to check. Like, are you happy doing this? Like, this might be it, and this is wonderful. You're making some good money.

Melinda 01:12:40  You're, you know, meeting people. You're outdoors and beautiful space. Like, why, why in society? Why can't we say like, this is enough. And I think that there's too much of the the race to nowhere to like, be success. Like I never thought that I would be where I'm at today, like in a million years in terms of our business. Like we ship like 15,000 units a week. Like I was happy when I like it's I never dreamed of what I'd be doing now in terms of like volume or amount of employees or the income that we're making. But I started because I just loved it. Like I was thrilled in each step of the way. I wasn't somebody that was like, I mean, now we have bigger lofty goals and business plans and things like that. But like along the way, I was just I'm just happy doing this. I'm just happy. I was just happy. Like being able to sell jewelry and like, pay my rent in my apartment.

Melinda 01:13:34  I was like, thrilled. So, like, I think the people.

Sarah 01:13:37  And now you can buy the building.

Melinda 01:13:39  I do, we do on the building. Yeah. but I think that people there the the end goal is just too overwhelming sometimes for people. And like, by the way, if this is your podcast and you just have the you know how it is, like it doesn't have to be on the top ten list of the Podcast International or whatever the thing is. Or like, you know, I think about like actors, like, why is the goal to win an Oscar? Like, fine, that's wonderful and things like that. But enjoy the process of it. You enjoy the journey of it and find something that you love to do.

Sarah 01:14:15  Yeah, I feel like from what you said, it's like passion, it's tenacity, it's resilience, and everything else is kind of icing on the cake.

Melinda 01:14:26  And check your ego at the door because people, people do laugh and you know they will talk about you like I.

Melinda 01:14:32  I have no doubt people snicker on the side and I have some goofy, like, content, whatever. But like, I don't really care, right?

Sarah 01:14:39  All right, I love you, I love you. Oh my God, squeeze me in between your hair and your dermatologist all very important and your entrepreneurial all very frosty and all the things. I'm so proud of you. Oh, you're so.

Melinda 01:14:52  Because like, I remember you started this and you know what I love about you and a few of my other friends that started things like during Covid, like you said, like I, when I started with zero followers, like, think about that. You started with zero followers. I started with zero followers. I started making jewelry at Starbucks and like beating at my, you know, in my apartment where I had to share a room with somebody. Like everyone starts from nothing, but not everyone. A lot of people have a leg up, but I'm just saying.

Sarah 01:15:19  Like, but but.

Melinda 01:15:19  Like I'm saying.

Sarah 01:15:20  Like, everybody can't handle.

Melinda 01:15:21  Everyone starts with zero followers or like zero customers or zero listeners. That is true. You can't buy that because that won't last. But like, look at you now like I, I, I wasn't thinking about it, but like when we started we were just doing it like on zoom. Yeah. I think you were doing it at your living or whatever. And like when I walked in here and I saw this whole studio and like, the people working with you. I was like, oh, this.

Sarah 01:15:45  Is amazing, I love you. You know what the best part about you? But you said that you support other women. It's the. And I know you were talking about like.

Melinda 01:15:53  Oxygen to me. Yeah. It is so much fun for me to. That's why I do want to put it. I do want to start a personal like, Instagram page because I just love finding things that I love that women are doing and like talking about it.

Sarah 01:16:06  Yeah, you're like, shout out to this bag.

Melinda 01:16:08  And oh my God, I love that Miami by the bag.

Sarah 01:16:12  I love that girl. No. But yeah, it's very it's very thoughtful. And it's like you realize how much other people have like given to you and then you kind of pay it forward. It's a beautiful thing. It's not the with the women to women thing. It's not obvious. It's not just a it doesn't just happen. It happens from intention.

Melinda 01:16:30  Yeah. But that's my that's one of my favorite things to do. It's like one of my favorite pastimes is you're like everybody's cheerleader. I think you I mean, if you're a good girl, you are right.

Sarah 01:16:39  I mean, you give away free jewelry once a week.

Melinda 01:16:41  Instagram I think we gave. It was so funny. We get like a giving report at the end of each year, and I think we gave away like $2.6 million in jewelry last year. I know we did. Actually, I got the giving report.

Sarah 01:16:53  That's crazy, I know.

Melinda 01:16:54  But so fun.

Melinda 01:16:56  It's like my.

Sarah 01:16:57  Most fun part.

Melinda 01:16:58  Of my job.

Sarah 01:16:59  Oh my God, I love it. So fun. I loved having you. I loved having you. I need to get to the dermatologist I do. Are you.

Melinda 01:17:05  So important?

Sarah 01:17:05  Priorities. What are you getting?

Melinda 01:17:07  Everything, girl. It's the whole tune. It's a tune up day I love it. Tune update. Okay. Do I say goodbye to somewhere? Where do I where do I have so many cameras, so many people here. So many lights. So good.

Sarah 01:17:19  Hey peeps, it's me again I listen to this episode was social media superstar and massive jewelry designer Melinda Spiegel of Melinda Maria jewelry. So I could summarize the golden nuggets for you to have actionable items to start using today. I know that when I listen to a long episode, I'm like, oh my God, I fucking love that. And then I can't even remember the specifics. This is why I come back and do a golden nugget. Summary. In this episode, we dig deep with our golden midlife shit shovels in a conversation about passions, marriage, midlife wellness, hormones, and entrepreneurship.

Sarah 01:17:55  Golden nugget number one entrepreneurship. Melinda is opening her first quote store. It's not necessarily a jewelry store. It's just this kind of amazing idea that she had that sort of like a lifestyle wonderland for her community to gather, workout, try out some wellness things with some jewelry on the side. Our first conversation when she was first on my podcast was focused around her brand and just beginning the midlife journey, and now we are here two years later with so much growth. I love interviewing guests again because you're like, oh my God, what have you done in all this time? And everyone has so many amazing updates. It really shows that the sky's the limit and we don't have to put ourselves in boxes. It's never too late to make changes, and there are no limits on our goals and our interests. From a jewellery brand to opening a lifestyle store that doubles as a gym with a wellness twist, where the goal is for people to just come and feel good. I mean, Melinda really is a visionary and she's so adorable, funny, sweet, smart and gorgeous.

Sarah 01:19:04  I love the imagination and the thought behind this concept. So inspiring. So peeps, if you have ideas, act on them, don't limit yourself and take action. Golden nugget number two continuous learning. Melinda said that she has other business ideas that she would like to act upon soon, and that she will never retire because she loves working on her passions and her creativity, and she just loves learning and sharing that much. She said she doesn't even read fiction just like me, because she likes to consume information that she can apply to her own life immediately. Hello. Self-development business book club. Okay, this is something that I can totally relate to because my passion for learning and research. When something really is a passion, you could do it all day and you'll want to do it forever. Maybe with some twists and pivots on the side, but you still want to wake up and do it every day. It's such a good feeling. Like I say, when people ask me what I do, I'm a self developer, a self expander.

Sarah 01:20:03  I try new shit when I'm in the mood. I always want to improve and get to the bottom of things, and I can confidently say that this is something, well, something I want to do forever. I may not do it forever, it might just be different iterations of it. But I do love the midlife space and kind of growing in this community together. Golden nugget number three. Hormones are the hormone conversation. Melinda and I are both at the stage where we can say, sorry, that wasn't me. That was my hormones. And they can really be raging bitches, these hormones. And don't get me started on the hot flashes asking everyone in the room if it feels too hot to them a hug. My kids are like, mom, why are you always hot? So how is Melinda dealing with all these changes? Well, she says she's staying super hydrated. Extra dermaplaning appointments, salicylic acid peels, seeing doctors who listen. And she was just prescribed estrogen and progesterone. But she hasn't pulled the trigger on taking them yet.

Sarah 01:21:06  But like we've said before, menopause is a science project on the body and the brain, and it takes some trial and error and you have to be open to it and no one can do it for you, unfortunately, except for you. Golden nugget number four midlife wellness. Melinda is doing it all, doing all the things. And it's so validating to hear that her cabinets look like a vitamin store just like mine. And both of our husbands are like, okay, what the fuck? But could you also pass it over here? It's like they want to be in, but they don't want to be in. But they do. And she says that, you know, her husband is on the bandwagon with her kind of becoming longevity seekers during Empty nest, maybe starting a business from it. Who knows? I love it. Her entrepreneurial spirit is strong. I'll be telling my husband that we are not moving to Florida to golf together, but hey, every marriage is different. I could maybe play a pickleball, but I'm definitely not playing golf, especially with a guy who played college baseball.

Sarah 01:22:09  No thank you. Aside from supplements, Melinda is doing Pilates at home four days a week, and she says, that is so hard. Trust me, I do it. I am shaking at the end of every set. It goes deep people. She also does no gluten, no dairy and no alcohol and maintains a healthy lifestyle. Overall, the gold is dripping off these nuggets. You guys grab it, use it. There are three things you can do. First, fucking subscribe to the podcast. Second, share it with some friends who like midlife shit. And third, write an Apple review. Writing reviews is really annoying. It's an extra step, but guess what? It helps the podcast grow. You think your little review won't matter, but it does. Okay, you guys, not only have you just listened to this episode, but you can fucking watch it on YouTube. Yes, on YouTube and you can see our outfits. You can see our facial expressions, all of it. You asked for it.

Sarah 01:23:05  I'm doing it. So if you want to watch us, you can go back to the Flexible Neurotic on YouTube and watch the show. The gold is dripping off these nuggets. DM me. You know, I always respond. And of course, follow my Instagram at the flexible, neurotic Gotta go. The doorbell is ringing. Love you talk soon.