Episode 13 transcript
00:05
Hi, good peeps. Welcome to the flexible neurotic podcast. You know that friend that you can call to ask anything? That's me. Dr. Sarah Milken. I'm known to my friends as the flexible, neurotic. What does flexible neurotic even mean? Let me be neurotic while I take out my golden shovel to dig deep for all the golden nuggets in the hottest topics, from parenting, to education to neuroscience, and maybe even some beauty secrets. So we can all start living more flexibly. Come join us for edgy conversations with rad moms. Innovative thought leaders and well being practitioners helping you find that sweet spot between chaotic and chill. If you're craving that sweet spot, grab your golden shovel with me. You will walk away with nuggets you can start using today. Hi, good peeps. This is the next episode of the flexible neurotic podcast. I'm Dr. Sarah Milken, the flexible neurotic. Today I have a very special guests. She's a mom of two wife, food blogger, cooking teacher and Instagram phenomenon. You might know her for her Trader Joe's Instagram bits what's in my cart. Her name is lanie Schwartz from life is buttered dish. She started as a food blogger and now has created quite a huge and loyal following on a giant platform that she calls Life Is But A dish lady most recently launched cook with confidence in online cooking class for eight weekly sessions. My daughter, as you all know has become a professional chef in COVID. And she says she can't deal with me and I need to take lady's course cook with confidence. You know how we're always talking about synchronicities and small worlds. So Laney and I chatted for the first time last week and we discovered she taught and my kids elementary school it is best friends with my son's first grade teacher. My son is now in 10th grade. Hi Laney Hi, I'm so excited to talk to you. Thanks for having me. Oh my god, I love it. I told you that some of my best friends are like oh my god you have the life is but a dish girl Laney I love her. So I'm getting a lot of friends points for this for
02:27
sure. That is that's awesome. I love it.
02:31
And the fact that you reconnected me to my son's first grade teacher who now lives in Boston. I mean, we're just connecting the dots here.
02:38
We just have to say a big shout out to Sarah we left there
02:41
we love you come back to LA Please come back to LA now. We'll just come back to locked out. It's amazing over here. It's fine. Yeah, sunny with COVID. I mean, honestly, it doesn't get better. Okay, everyone, get ready. We're gonna talk about a million things cooking cook with confidence and self recreation. Take out yourself recreation golden shit shovels, we're going to dig deep with Laney. So here we go. Here we go. I know my intentions for this episode as it is for all my episodes of the flexible neurotic. It's for us to dig deep with our golden shit shovels in an edgy conversation about how we can find our sweet spots between neurotic and chill. In this case, we're gonna find the sweet spot and learning to create more confidence in the kitchen which I definitely need cool and easy meals kitchen hacks turning your passion into a second career, one small step at a time. The intention of this episode is to hone in on Lenny's kitchen and cooking confidence tools. So specific Instagram stories about how to properly cut an avocado or how to cut corn on the horizontal so you don't have an explosive mess. I have to be honest, I never knew that. Not that I know anything that you're teaching. wavy is going to tell us so she turned her two zones of genius cooking and teaching into a huge business and a new career for herself. I know you guys know that my mom and I are the worst cooks of all time and that my 14 year old makes dinner five nights a week killer meals not embarrassed to say it just is what it is. In my second episode with Pamela Salzman who I know you're friends with Laney It was awesome for me because she just kind of went through all the pantry basics and gave me the courage just to make one meal a week. I'm not saying that anyone eats it or likes it but whatever. But Delaney has some quick and easy recipes that even I can do. When I saw her sheet pan recipes. I realized that they were kind of made for me and we went skiing last year I actually made a sheet pan recipe and everyone ate it. It was like genius. So when I know it's so easy and lean knees, video on videos on Instagram, that taught me how to cut a bell pepper and avocado. I mean, the simplest things become genius. So, are you guys ready? Are you ready? Lainey
05:09
I am ready. You make me sound really awesome. So
05:11
you are also like, once I know I know you're like Who is that girl? Oh wait, that's me I sell free created here I am. I guess I know. Well we all know that our childhood and our formative years play a huge part in our self identity, our formation, some things you love some things you're trying to forget. Will you tell us a little bit about your childhood and what makes you you?
05:39
Yeah. So I grew up on the east coast. I'm originally from Maryland, and I grew up I had a sister I have a sister younger sister. So I'm the oldest and then I have a way younger brother. So he's about 10 years younger than I
05:53
Wow. I was like a late life start over or she started really young.
05:58
there's just lots of my family's got lots of divorces and remarriages on it. The family tree is like a whole nother podcast episode, right? So it's very confusing. So yes, so I grew up on the East Coast, my family loves to eat, loves to cook, my mom was a big cook. Pretty much all the women in my family were big cooks,
06:18
like the opposite of our house.
06:22
And so there was always just an abundance of delicious food around. I really didn't ever cook as a kid. It was always just kind of there. And I really never cooked with my mom and I moved to something. I don't know, we just we never did it. And I just I watched her cook and I watched her entertained throughout the years from being a little girl all the way through high school. And then when I got to college is really when I started to pick it up for myself because she wasn't there cooking for me.
06:53
Wow. And so you're an cook, your mom cooked. And you guys had these sort of holiday festivities for every single holiday and you got to be an observer and a participator. But you'd actually never cooked
07:06
didn't so my mom, my aunt both are my mom and my grandparents like they're all phenomenal cooks. So I just experienced delicious food all the time holidays, regular family meals. I grew up Jewish. We weren't necessarily religious, per se. But we did all we did celebrate all the big holidays, which really just meant getting together and eating Thanksgiving and all of that. So yeah, but I just Passover Passover, we did all the things I knew. Not the best year over here, but I knew Yeah. Those were based off of the food. So I used to sit with a hard boiled eggs holiday or is it a holiday with the hero said and like the weird things on the play? Like what's happening on there? Oh, my God was has always been a huge part of my life. And I really was just an observer for the whole first part of it.
08:00
Now, did you ever think like, wow, I should maybe learn how to do this for when I become a wife or a mom.
08:06
Nope. never crossed my mind. I used to like play restaurant I did have like one signature thing that I remember playing with my sister and creating eggies like with which was just scrambled eggs. Like that was the one thing that I used to make. But it was never anything that I ever thought about doing as a, you know, oh, I need this skill as an adult. I
08:28
thought about it. But now that you have two daughters, like do you think you're gonna do it differently? Like for me, I grew up in a house where my mom did not cook at all my dad did. But like you he had, he didn't teach me I just he just like created these meals and amazing Thanksgivings. And I just like stood there and ate. And I never thought like, Oh, I'm gonna have kids in a family like maybe I should learn how to do this. And then I think my daughter, like got so bored and COVID that she was like, I can't eat this takeout food for one more minute. So I'm just going to do this. And I was like, okay, go for it. And now we joke that I'm going to go to her house with my grandchildren and she's going to be cooking for me still. Cute. Are you gonna teach your girls like from now until they're adults like how to do those meals.
09:22
So what I found is that, you know, when my first daughter was born, she'll be nine this month. I was loving cooking at that point. So I was cooking a bunch and I thought oh, she's gonna be in the kitchen with me all day every day. She has no interest in cooking. She loves food and loves eating. She loves cooking and loves eating and loves talking about food. She's basically a food critic. she really enjoys like a backseat driver. Yes. And she really yeah, talk about it. So like we'll have dinner and she's like, ooh, like I love the flavor and this and this tastes like this. So it's not that she's not interested in food, but she doesn't really want anything to do with the product. And I just kind of let didn't force her I always asked her not always sometimes I like to cook alone. But you know, I always ask if she wants or often will ask if she wants to join or wants to try something, she can make scrambled eggs on her own. But my youngest daughter, who was six is basically a Top Chef, like, wow, since she was 18 months old has been in the kitchen with me, she wants to measure everything and scoop and stir. And she asked questions like, cooking questions like she
10:28
shows, she gets it,
10:30
she gets it like she's young. You're either born with it or you're not it can be learned but she was gonna be one of my question is for you. I'm, like, fascinated by this, because it's like something that I don't intuitively have, I really don't. It's like the Achilles heel of my life. And you some people just have it right? Some people like, love to read or so you know, it can be hard. And it can be a habit that is learned and formed and developed. But 100%, my, my oldest daughter does not was not born with it, she may, she may grow into it. And my younger one just has it like it is in her blood. She wants to be cooking all the time. And so will I continue to teach them? I think, really what it comes down to and what I've learned as in my career is that it's really about not necessarily here's how to make this recipe, but it's about teaching the fundamental basic skills. So both my girls understand now how to make for example, scrambled eggs, and why it's important to use low heat and to scrape this way. And that's, that's a lifelong skill that you have forever.
11:36
I don't think I have that skill,
11:37
right. And I was, and that's what I've learned is that most people were never taught. And I wasn't either. Most people were never taught the basic skills. And then when you become an adult, and you go to try to make a recipe and you're like, and it feels overwhelming and scary, because you're like I was never taught how to do this. And so rather than teaching them like, this is my spaghetti recipe, it's like, okay, here's how to make a sauce. And let me teach you how to make it taste better. Let me teach you how to if it tastes not quite right, what can you add to it? But it's
12:11
even like basic stuff like cutting an onion. Like if somebody handed me an onion, like, I have to be honest like that. Not sure that's happening. Whereas I watched my daughter and it's like, she has like the perfect like grip and hand movement, and it's being sliced with precision. And I'm like, Oh my God, this seems so complicated.
12:30
Yeah, that I do teach. So though that's a skill. That's like a rote skill. That's like, here's how to hold a knife, your deposit, put your finger so those skills I do teach. Yeah, I
12:38
think I might be in the next round of your courses for sure. Oh, my God, my daughter's like, I want to see that one. She's like, No, do
12:46
you do want to like, are you it's something that
12:49
it's like, I'm not fundamentally interested in cooking, but it definitely annoys me that it doesn't come easily to me, or that I can't just like sort of half asset, because I feel like there's other things in life that you can sort of just like pick up, but like, this is the one thing I just can't Yeah,
13:08
it's like, I can't do it sort of, and it's something that is in all of our everyday lives.
13:13
100% and like, everyone makes fun of me. It's like a joke. Like my daughter went to this sort of COVID safe, whatever dinner the other night, whatever that means. And it was shoes with this other family that were partying with, I guess you would call it and they were like, oh, we're gonna make dinner tonight we're not ordering and Marin's like, Okay, so what are we making? And then she comes home and she tells me that she made the chicken for this other family. And I'm like, what, like, you made some like someone else's chicken for them. Like I would have had a complete nervous breakdown. She had no recipe, she didn't have her own ingredients, and they just handed her raw chicken. I was like, that is my biggest clusterfuck of a nightmare in my life. And you're not alone. And there's so many people who are in your boat. Oh my god, I can't so you're gonna have to help us. Okay, so what I really want to talk to you about is this idea of self recreation. You started off as an elementary school teacher, and then you went on. I don't want to say sideways, but you sort of like veered off of it and created this other whole identity for yourself. So you tell us what you were doing how you got to be a teacher. And then we're going to kind of go step by step because I know the listeners and I love sort of hearing this step by step of how do you do it. You don't want to just hear about it or read about it. It's like tell me the exact way you did it.
14:38
Sure. I'm more than happy to share also just full disclosure. It all just kind of happened. This was not my plan. I didn't think six years ago or eight years ago that this was going to be my journey. It all just kind of happened. So
14:55
you took small steps along the way that created the synchronicity Energy about what you were passionate about. And that's so amazing.
15:05
Yeah. And also like, not on purpose. So yeah,
15:07
but yeah, right. Yeah,
15:09
I was athletic my whole life. So I played soccer my whole life and I went to college to play soccer. I got by in school, I was a fine student, but I looked at schools based on where I was going to play. So that was not what I was going to learn or what I was going to major in like, that was always second tier for me. So I went to Michigan. I played soccer there. And at that point, maybe I was a freshman. Everyone's like, what are you going to major in? What are you going to learn? What do you want to be? I was like, I don't, I don't know.
15:41
Like, I'm playing soccer, playing soccer, I'm
15:44
just gonna hang out. And the one thing that I knew was that if I ever had a job in high school or anything, it was always like a camp counselor, or soccer coach, always with kids. So I knew that I loved kids in school. I'm not I don't love school. So I just wanted to work with kids. And I didn't even realize that you could go to school to learn how to be a teacher like I didn't. Clearly it goes to show like how good my high school did I love that.
16:11
I love the story of how you how you were in locker room.
16:15
Yeah, I remember the moment that it clicked, I was in the locker room. And I'm big on like, I like to make like schedules all color coded. Like I was clearly meant to be a teacher, right? I just didn't know it. And it was in the locker room. And there was a couple of seniors and they had this like, beautiful, amazing, like, calendar or chart or job chart or site. And I was
16:36
like, What is that? Like stars on it? Yeah.
16:40
Like, what is that, and they're like, oh, are in the School of Education. And we're student teaching and whatever, whatever they were telling me, I don't know. And I was like you can. There's a school of education, like you can go to school to be a teacher. And I was like, that's what I want to do. And that was the moment that I realized that I wanted to learn how to be a teacher. And so I went through the school of Ed at Michigan, it's a two year program. And then when I moved to California, I started teaching, I subbed for a few months, and then got my first job at a local private school here, which is how we reconnected and I taught there for several years, and I taught first grade and a little bit of second grade for about six years here in LA. And then the way when you get your kids in first grade, they really they sort of already know how to read well, for not all of them, not all of them. So that's why I love first grade because it's such a pivotal year.
17:35
Yeah, much room for growth. And kids come in from kindergarten at all different levels. Half of them are reading chapter books, half of them don't know all the letters. And so I'm asking because you have to be a great teacher to teach first grade because it's that like weird in between zone of like, our kids getting to feel like they have the confidence to move forward. Are they going to feel like they suck?
17:57
Exactly. Which kind of
17:58
relates to your cook with confidence a little bit. It's like building in confidence from the beginning. Exactly. And that I didn't realize that that's what I was so good at at the time. Now looking back, I
18:11
realized that teaching first graders how to read is no different than teaching adults how to cook. It's the same process. It's all about confidence. Because it is it's it's intimidating for to sit at a group of five or 665 or six year olds, and some of them know how to read. Some of them don't like how can you get everybody on the same path?
18:31
Yeah, it's like me being in a kitchen with other moms who are making a meal. And I'm like, Oh, wait, I don't know how to cut an avocado.
18:38
So the teacher plays a huge role in building that confidence. And Sarah was the first teacher that I worked with. And she was an amazing example. Love her. And so I learned from some of the best teachers and I just fell in love with the light bulbs that kept going off for these kids. It just really, and at the time, I didn't have children of my own. So those kids were my children. Like, I really felt like they were my own kids. And I just I loved it so
19:06
much. Is it different teaching your own kids versus other people's kids? Like do you want to just like, Uh huh,
19:12
I have no interest. People are so lucky that just your teacher and you can just homeschool. I was like, No, no, no, I have, I don't want to even know.
19:21
I know people are like you have a PhD in educational psychology like you can really like assess your kids like learning needs. And I'm like, No, like, it doesn't work like that. It really does. And I wish it
19:33
did it Really? No,
19:34
I know. But that that that would definitely be awkward, too. Okay, so you were a teacher for six years. And then how do we get to cooking and
19:44
so at that time, I don't think Zach and I met maybe through that had gotten married. We get married at that point. I don't even remember the years blending together.
19:55
You had your second kid and then from what I read, it was like you had your second kid And then
20:01
yeah, so I was already I was cooking once I was a teacher at once I was on my own. I started cooking in college. Once I met Zach I really started cooking more because I love cooking. You know, for friends, Zach
20:11
cook. No. Okay.
20:13
No before me Zach was like in and out Taco Bell Chef Boyardee.
20:17
Oh, so we can hang out. He and I. Yeah, good. Yeah, we need 400 pounds on fast food. Okay. Yeah, exactly.
20:25
So I was already cooking. And I was already looking, you know, looking at recipes, posting on Facebook, I had a little Facebook album with my dishes. I don't know, social media was not there was no Instagram at the time.
20:39
Now. Can we even imagine a world without Instagram? Now? It's so weird, right? Yeah. But I kind of like wanted. I know, I know. I know. It's like a necessary beast, for sure.
20:50
Yes. And so I was teaching. And I remember I was just looking up recipes for inspiration. And I came across a food blog. And I didn't know what a blog was. But I was looking at this thing, thinking this person is taking pictures of her food, beautiful photos, writing about it and sharing the recipe. And this seems to be what she does for a job. And I was like, this is this is crazy. And then I started looking and I and I noticed that there was 1000s of them. And I remember turning to the teacher that I was sitting with saying, I want to do that I can do that. And she was like, Okay, do it. Alright, so I had one daughter at that time. And it was something that I knew I was going to have a second child. And I at that point, I did not want to go back to the classroom, just given the time and having two kids and what you get paid as a teacher versus hiring childcare a right wasn't, it wasn't in the cards at that time. So I knew I was going to be home for a couple of years at least. And I just decided to kind of look into it. And just just start I actually started with a friend in the very beginning. And we just were creating recipes. And we somehow created a blog. I don't even know how we did it on WordPress. And we hadn't gone live yet. And it was at the time when my second daughter was about six months old. So I had a two year old and a six month old. And I don't know
22:21
what I don't
22:22
know. Like I said to my friend, I was like, I'm ready to do this, like, I'm gonna go live with this. And she wanted to, but at the time, we weren't getting paid. So at the time, she was like, I really can't afford to do it full time. I gotta, you know, I need to work.
22:38
I need a real job.
22:40
I need a real job. Yeah, I totally get it. So she went and I just went with it. And my only commitment at that point was to be consistent and posting new recipes. And so I, in my mind committed myself to posting two new recipes a week to the blog. And that was it. And that's what I did. Wow.
23:08
So you looking back on it. Like for listeners and myself, you would say your first step was sort of noticing that your passion was cooking. And being on Facebook coming across these food blogs and like, hey, wait, she can do it. Why can't I do it, too? Yeah. So your first step was realizing this strength that you had and then figuring out who else was doing it and sort of how you could, I don't want to say copy it, but sort of copy it, but with your own spin to it.
23:41
Yeah, it definitely had the, from day one, I didn't have necessarily the perfect tagline or the perfect mission. But my mission from day one in my own heart was to give people the confidence to get back in the kitchen or to get in the kitchen and cook. I was already sharing recipes with friends. I was already cooking. And so I just wanted to share that. And I had no idea how it was going to, quote be successful or get big, but I just knew that I wanted to share recipes with lots of people. That was it seems like you didn't have a plan but the plan was just start just take a step. The plan was just start and the plan was to be consistent.
24:26
Right?
24:26
Right and to get better at food photography because it was not okay.
24:31
Oh my god. I mean, sometimes I see food photos and they're like amazing. I'm like God I want to dive right into that and sometimes I look at it I'm like oh my god that looks like like diarrhea stew. You know what I mean? Like there is a major skill set in that.
24:45
Well that's what happened when I first when I first came across the beautiful food blog for the first time I'll never forget her and I still love her to this day. But when I saw her beautiful photos and then I looked at all the other blogs that were out there
24:57
I
24:58
it was really like a variable small percentage that were beautiful. And when I said to that my teacher friend, I said, I want to do this and I don't want to be I want to be in that 5% I want to have beautiful photos I want to be. There's so many people that are doing it with disgusting photos. Yeah, with beautiful photos, right. And so that was my mission at the time was just to improve. And I when I started, I did not have beautiful photos. In fact, it's quite embarrassing to look at. But I was on my mission then was just to post
25:29
but you started, like, they can all sit and think about things that we want to do, or we should do or would love to do. But never start because it's never perfect enough.
25:41
Yeah. And I'm a perfectionist.
25:43
I know. So my, it's like even with this, I'm like, I don't know how to start a podcast like how am I gonna get guests? Yeah, oh my god, I'm gonna put myself on Instagram with zero followers. That's not awkward or anything at 45 and a half years old. You know, it's like, honestly, I
25:58
think and I think it's, it's, it was kind of a blessing that social media wasn't a thing when I started because there was no, I mean, I do think it is harder on ourselves emotionally to start something now, because there's so much comparison. I know.
26:13
It's like I'm naked running through a mall. Yeah. I mean, that's basically what's happening right now.
26:18
It's a lot harder. It was not not that it wasn't hard. Yeah, for sure have tons of I
26:24
wasn't immediate judgment all the time. 24 hours a day. No, for sure. Exactly. Another thing that I read about you that I thought was interesting is and I touched on it a second ago. But I want to expand on it is this idea of there are other people doing everything. So we don't sometimes we say to ourselves, well, I can't do that. Like there's already like 100,000 million jewelry designers are I can't do that. There's a million chefs. But you said that it wasn't about being so creative and so unique. And there was no need to reinvent the wheel. It's like even if it's something that someone else is doing, just put your spin on it, just make it Laney just make it Sarah, and it will sell Can you expand upon that?
27:13
Yeah, so something I've learned in my own, like business development over the last several years and personal development is if if somebody else is already doing it, it's simply just I mean, the mindset shift is that it's proof that you can also do it, it's proof that there's a need for it. There's how many billion people in the world, there's plenty of room for all of us, and everything is overly saturated everything,
27:36
everything. There's like 40 million podcasts, like why is someone going to listen to mine? I don't know. But
27:43
because of you, yeah. And so and there's going to be people that aren't going to vibe with you and delay and that's the point. You want to get rid of the people who aren't going to mesh with you and attract the people that are your people. And so yeah, it's not about reinventing the wheel and doing something completely new and different. It's just doing it with your own spin with your own personality with your own flair.
28:08
Yeah. And did you feel like the Laney flair I mean, from an outsider's perspective, like the Laney flair seems to be the relatability factor?
28:19
I think so. And I it's not like I am trying to be relatable
28:24
I think No, but you just are. Yeah, it's like you're dancing in your kitchen your husband's like eating a sandwich. Your kids are running around the dogs there it's like it's it's relatable, attainable. Everyone can relate to you know what I mean? It doesn't it you're not off putting in any way.
28:46
It's also just it's it's easier to just be yourself than it is to try to not be yourself which is so exhausting. Yeah, and if being yourself I talked about this before, but if you know I show up in my pajamas with no makeup on every single day because that's me but if you're someone who shows up with makeup and like I'm the opposite
29:05
I'm like in carpool with like full makeup on because I have you Yeah, that's totally me. Like if somebody saw me without makeup, they'd be like fuck Who's that? My kids would be like, why are you out of a house without makeup on? Like you would be weird
29:19
right and that's you and there's nothing and there's nothing wrong with either version right away. But if you were like trying to be like, quote more relatable because you're
29:30
like I'm au naturale now. Yeah, that's just that's like if you showed up with like fake eyelashes on and like a full face and makeup people would be like, that's not Laney Exactly. I totally get it.
29:42
I know, be whatever feels true to you.
29:45
Totally. And I also feel like you said the people who are going to be attracted to you are going to be attracted to you. I mean, just even the last 10 weeks. It's like the people have come out and connected with me. They're, they vibe with you and the ones that you don't want We've kind of just like disappear. And then you're left with your own little community of vipers. Yeah, exactly. And it feels good when everything feels like aligned and great. In terms of the steps Laney, your step two, from what I can see as an outsider was to kind of get other people on board, it was getting your friend on board. Sometimes you need someone else to talk things out with feel like you have a partner. And in your case, it was the friend and it seemed like getting your husband on board. So can you talk about that a little bit? Yeah, I
30:35
mean, look, I think every situation is different. And everyone is motivated in different ways. I'm certainly a team player, I certainly, it's helpful to have people on board, but at the same time, and I've learned this in my recent years in business, because it's gonna
30:52
be an agate is this gonna be a nugget Lamy, you also
30:55
don't need to have everybody on board, right, as your husband or your wife, or your best friend, or your mom most likely is not your person that you're speaking to or selling to, they're not necessarily going to get it and they might not understand the vision, it's more helpful and easier if they are on board. But if you know in your heart that what you have to offer is gold and is valuable, and you can make a difference. You don't have to have the people in your life
31:26
on board like right or wrong. But you but it's also it's not just proving other people wrong. It's also just having one or two key people like your spouse on board, because you and Zach made a plan together as a couple as a family based on sort of passion, timelines and money of what you could do. So can you talk about that a little bit in terms of like, how you structured the plan with him of what your timeline was for this?
31:54
Yeah. So Zach is also entrepreneur at heart. I was never really an entrepreneur at heart, I just kind of fell into it. But at that time, I knew I wasn't going back to teaching and so I was going to be home for a couple of years anyways. And so when we talked about it, we just kind of and we have a pretty easy relationship and, you know, communication and all of that. So, the we just kind of decided that, Okay, I'm gonna go for this. And it's not like he was like, you're gonna be so successful. Yes. And you got this? Yeah, like that. It was like, go ahead and try it. I'm
32:29
gonna be the Barefoot contestant tomorrow. Laney Oh, he
32:33
was like, Okay, if you believe in this, I believe, like I support you
32:36
sort of that's exactly how it was with my husband. Yeah, like, it's like you have to have, you have to have some internal support and financial backing to drive certain things,
32:48
right. So we knew we had made the decision that okay, if in two years from now, this isn't headed in the right direction, then we're going to need to talk and you're probably going to have to go get a job. And so I luckily, not everybody has that flexibility. Some people are doing this nights and weekends, or they have their jobs. So it wasn't I didn't have I was lucky enough to not have the pressure to have to make X amount of money after one or two years. So my growth was a lot slower. I really wasn't making any money at two years, but two years in, I was like, Oh, this is this will be this will be something I don't know what it's gonna be. But this is a thing and this work. And so I just kind of kept going.
33:29
So would you say so in from my perspective, step three was kind of like giving it a timeline. Like if in two years, this is something that has some legs, it's not necessarily a financial blockbuster, then I'm going to stick with it. And if it doesn't, then I'm going to kind of pick the next path. Right? Yeah, it was. So Lainey I want to ask you about intuition. How did intuition play into your self recreation journey? And life is but a dish?
33:59
Oh, it's a good question. It was just something that I think I happen to be a self aware person, I really believe that I know myself, I know, my body. I know, I think part of that is growing up as an athlete and just really being in tune with myself. But this was something from the very beginning that I can't explain it, but I just, I just knew that I knew I was a good teacher. So I had kind of those legs. And I knew that I was so passionate about food and and teaching that intuitively It was like this is this is what I was meant to do. It sounds kind of like woowoo But
34:42
no, it doesn't at all, don't it just like deep in my bones that this is this is where I'm kind of meant to be. And you also have to have that feeling inside yourself to be able to be resilient enough to take knows to take rejections to take deep tours and get back up again.
35:02
Yeah.
35:02
Like, how did you do that when things weren't the way you envisioned them that day that week that month? Like, how did you just not say fuck it? I'm done.
35:12
Yeah, I still say that a lot. Actually, I've never, I've never felt like,
35:16
I'm done with this right? But like or need like a two minute break, or whatever it is, like, How'd you find it within yourself to just like, get back up again. And
35:25
honestly, collaborating with other people in this space and finding other women who are on the same journey? who are going through the same things who understand the ups and downs? I mean, I'm not kidding. Yesterday, when I tell you it was sitting outside on my back porch, bawling. I don't even know like, and today, I'm like, Whoa,
35:47
you look good. You're fresh, happy?
35:49
Yeah. It's very up and down and to have people in your corner who are either in the same line of business, whether it's other food bloggers or podcasters. People like you who just understand it. Yeah, that's honestly what has kept me going because I can't talk to my mom about this. Like she didn't know how to get it. And that's okay. Yeah, you have to have people who understand it around you and not look at those people as competition, but look at them as your teammates as your totally.
36:19
That's a really important lesson and really interesting in this process, because it's like you and I already went in middle school. Like we already dealt with, like girl bullshit, nonsense backstabbing gossip, Yaki. You know, I mean, I can't believe my daughter's in eighth grade dealing with that now. I mean, think about the upside to zoom schools, there's a lot less of that. I'm not saying none, but a lot less. But yeah, it's like finding the strength within yourself to support other people the same way you would want to be supported. Yeah. You know, and finding those people, how did you find the people who were your sort of like self recreation junkies, with you? The collaborator? Yeah,
37:02
it kind of has shifted, and it really has depended on where I've been to in my business. Mm hmm. And I'm still close with a lot of the people but someone who I was talking to every single day, three years ago, I'm not talking to you every single day now, because we're right. This is so I don't know how I found them. Honestly, I would, you know, in the beginning of Instagram, my feed was just mainly food bloggers, and, and food photographers who I really admired. Because my vision and my goal was to improve my photography. So I really connected and shared a lot about those people. And I would connect with them and chat with them on Instagram, I would go to workshops, I would meet people in person. And then I started getting into more like the business side of the business coaching. And so I would fill my feed more with those sorts of things. And just, again, sharing, because I know that there's other people who are like me and are and are going to be at the same place in their business and might find this useful. So sharing my taking programs, investing in myself, and meeting a lot of people in these programs. So I would go through programs at the same time with other people and just make connections. And these are people I talk to every single day, right? No, I met sometimes,
38:17
yeah, no, I find it fascinating. Like, I have all these new friends through Instagram that like I talked to, and I would never have met them otherwise. And they're like quality women that I may not have found in my everyday life is Sarah, you know, because we're all busy in our lives in school drop offs, and pickups and all this stuff in life. It's hard to like to meet new people who are of similar mindset. So I mean, one positive of Instagram, is that, you know, there's a lot of weirdos, but then there's a lot of like very quality in depth people that you know, you mean, in terms of like looking at the steps of self recreation, like in looking at your stuff. I feel like the next step that we've sort of touched on for a second would be a step five, which is the just start. What's your advice for just starting? Like everybody says that but like, what does that really mean? I
39:13
think people are, are wanting an answer. That's not going to be the answer that I'm going to give. Okay. It's not like, Oh, that's, yeah, that's the answer. The answer is literally to just start, like, nothing shiny and fancy. You just need to start not with the intention of getting rich.
39:37
Yeah, but with the famous or
39:40
five Yeah, with the intention to share whatever it is that that you have to offer and to make a difference in people's lives. And if you stick to that, and you start with the commitment to continue sharing that you can keep up with this because it's a marathon. I mean, it is totally it's exciting to start something new and to Three months in, you're going to be like,
40:02
do you know how many podcasters quit? It's like, Oh my god, it's really crazy. And it's funny because I recorded at this, by this, by the time this episode comes out, I don't know where I'll be. But I'm saying like I've recorded 10 or 11. And my, you know, a lot of my friends are like, why are you publishing them every week? Why are you waiting every two weeks and I'm like, this is a marathon and not a sprint. If I if I create content that quickly and that fast, first of all, not everyone's going to be able to hear it and have the time to listen to it. And I've spent so much time thoughtfully making it but second of all, I'm going to like die on the vine. Burn. Oh, yeah, I'll burn out and like my husband's like, Sarah, Sarah marathon, not a sprint. I'm like, okay, okay. But like you said, when you're a perfectionist, you're like, No, no, but I want to do it. Yeah. But then you end up on your back porch crying, I get that. That's like me. Yeah, I'll
40:59
totally forget who said this. I didn't make this up. But you have to be willing to suck because you will suck totally, like, just be willing to suck in the beginning and also six years in, be willing to suck and be willing to make mistakes and then rectify it. And, and that's okay. Like, none of us know, none of us know what we're doing. I know that it's easy to look at someone you know, who's yours and and think, oh, they have it all together.
41:26
None of us know we're doing totally I, I couldn't agree with you more. And the hardest part. I think it was in my Instagram post today. Or the last time I don't remember. But it was something about how we compare like our today, like, okay, Sarah, you've put out five podcasts to somebody else's five years from now. So it's like, I look at my followers. And I'm like, Oh, I can't believe in nine weeks. I have 1050 followers. But Laney has 72,000 or whatever. But you've been doing it for five years. Yeah. But that's really hard to remember. Yeah. In the moment,
42:03
for sure. 100%. And that's something you just have to continue. And that's the mindset work. You just have to keep bringing yourself back to that. And if you're somebody who really struggles with that comparison, itis Yeah, struggle. You have to kind of unfollow and mute people that that make you feel insecure about where you're at. That's not that's not something that typically I struggle with. Yeah, I
42:28
got Yeah, I think it also comes down to your own personal sense of self. I'm like, you know, what, if shit doesn't work out, like, I mean, it's not my ideal, but like, I'm not gonna die. Right? You know, it's just putting your Yeah, it's gonna be okay. And I'm doing my best and whatever. I mean, thankfully, I've been, you know, it's been resonating. And it's been good. But if it was not resonating, then I would have to, like, rethink and change my plan a little bit.
42:55
Right. Exactly. Exactly.
42:57
Now, that kind of takes me to my next question of looking back on the last five years, is there anything you would have changed or done sooner?
43:06
It's a good question.
43:08
I mean, I really believe in kind of everything happening at its own time when it's supposed to right. Like, would you have said yes to certain things or no to certain things? I mean, look, when you're trying to make it, and you're trying to, you know, get paid for things and build a business. Yeah. Beginning you typically say yes to things that you would never say yes to No.
43:31
Mm hmm.
43:32
Do I regret it? I really don't have any regrets. And it was all just kind of part of my journey. And again, I really think that I was lucky that social media wasn't as crazy as it is when I started. Because I would say if you're starting now, to kind of stay in your own lane, like pick a few people who really inspire you, and then just keep your head down and just keep going. In terms of what I would change. I don't know. I really don't know.
44:01
Is there anything you would have done sooner? Like I normally would have started to
44:08
develop my own products to sell? Okay, a little bit sooner, but I wasn't ready. Like I just wasn't, I didn't know how to do that. I didn't. You know, it seemed my mom. I feel like I'm throwing her under the bus here.
44:23
I guess she's
44:24
always the one and my audience loves my mom. She's definitely
44:27
and
44:28
she's the snack queen. But anyways, she's the person who's like, let's write a cookbook, love the product. Let's do this. And I'm like, you can't just like develop a product. Like there's so many things that go into it. So even if, five years ago, I wanted to sell something of my own. I
44:47
had no idea how to do that. Like I just I wasn't in a space to to do that. So I don't know. It sounds like the pacing to from what you're saying. It's like obviously you've gotten like book off And all this stuff, but you're saying like, that doesn't work for me right now. But it doesn't mean it won't work for me in six months, and it's listening to yourself, because doing projects that you don't really feel aligned with, is never gonna end up in like a great place. Exactly. And kind of like sticking with that intuition for sure. Now, in terms of like, your fears, like in starting this, I mean, like, for me, it's just the inner critic, my own just like, visibility, vulnerability, like running through Instagram and the mall naked like I am right now. What I know for you had like a one major fear with social media. Do you want to talk about that?
45:41
Sure. Yeah, I would say in general, I didn't really have fears around starting this. The only real fear was when video became a thing. Because when I started, it was just writing recipes on a website and taking pictures of food I never had, I never showed my face, there was no avenue to do that. There was no Instagram stories. There's was no Snapchat, I guess there was YouTube, but I just wasn't my thing, right. And so when I started to see that Snapchat was a thing, and I started following my favorite bloggers on Snapchat, everyone started doing it. And I was about two or three years, and at that time, so I wasn't I hadn't quite made it yet. But I had some legs to stand on. But at that point, it was either I hop on board with video, or I get that Oh,
46:30
wait, I want to stop you for a second that I love what you said like it was two or three years and you hadn't quote made it yet. Because that's a really important point, I think because a lot of us are so used to instant gratification that if something like you start a jewelry line, or handbags or whatever, and it doesn't become a success in six months. It's a failure, it's died. So I think that that's a really cool thing that you brought up. But I I changed the subject for a second. So let's go back to what I just I love that because it's like, we're so quick to give up like, Oh my god, I don't have 200,000 downloads in two months. Like this podcast isn't gonna work. No, it is gonna work. And it's just baby steps and small bills, and small wins.
47:21
Yeah. And there's some people who get it up off the ground and make a ton of money and get there there have grow their following in a short amount of time. And that happens for some people.
47:31
Yeah, that was not my story. But you stuck with it. I stuck with it. It's awesome. Okay, let's go back to your video you were having? Yes, you're in Snapchat. How do I make a video? Oh my god, I don't want to be on video.
47:44
I wanted to kill myself. Yeah, recording a video. I know I wanted to die. And which is so funny, because now it's my favorite part of what I do. Isn't that funny? Huh? I still have stage fright. Like, still getting up in front of a group of people is my biggest fear. Like it's still that hasn't gone away. But for whatever reason. Being on Instagram Stories is not. Oh, no, it doesn't scare me. But it really did. And so I knew that I had to do it in order to keep up and in order to grow in order to just adapt to the to the concept only
48:18
I posted a reel this morning. And I'm like, Oh my god, this is so awkward. And my kids, my teenagers are like, oh, Why'd you do that? Ah, it is awkward. It's like we have to do awkward, hard shit or never gonna progress forward like you do. Unfortunately, with the social media, like you have to stay current. Yes. If I could do the podcast without social media, just like you said earlier. Like, if you could do the food platform without social media, that'd be like a blessing. But you can't Good luck with that. Yeah, it's like unnecessary beast. And so you sort of have to embrace it. So me like posting real. I'm like, Oh my god, this is so cringy. But it's funny and people are liking it. And there were like, 1000s of views on it. And I'm like, okay, like, that was my second real like, I'm gonna do this. I'm okay.
49:14
And nobody cares.
49:15
Nobody you do?
49:16
No, really no one cares. Like, no one cares. So always. Also keep that in mind. Like you think you think people are studying your content and judging you like some people are but 90% of the people are just continuing to swipe.
49:30
Totally, totally. So how did you how did you master your video fear.
49:35
I started doing it on Snapchat privately with no followers, and realized that I kind of a light bulb went off that I didn't just have to talk to the camera, but that I could flip the camera and show people how to cook. For me, it was like oh my god, I can. It's so much easier to teach using video than it is to just write a recipe like that takes it to another Because really how I learned to cook was by watching the Food Network.
50:03
And it's so funny you say that because my daughter has these Tick Tock accounts that she follows for recipes. And she's obsessed with them. And like To me, it's so foreign because I'm like, wait, I have to screenshot that. Wait, I have to screenshot that. But her brain because she's so much younger than I'm used to it like she can absorb that tik tok video content as teachable information.
50:29
Exactly. Yeah. And so and I'm the same way. So I would I literally like I know, garden was my cooking school. Like, I watch her. And still today, I was watching it last night. And like, you just pick up little tips here and there that you can implement. And
50:41
so funny.
50:43
That's what I started doing. And slowly just kind of started started incorporating teaching how to make food. But then also, like, if you know me, if you just meet me at a party, and we're strangers, I'm extremely shy, I'm extremely quiet. I can I can literally go to a party with a bunch of strangers and never say a word like, I'll just stand there the whole time. But if it's a group of my closest friends, I'm the life of the party. Hopefully,
51:09
I get it.
51:10
It's I'm an introvert. But then also with my people, like I'm goofy and dance, and loud and funny, and all of that. So I don't I don't know if I did this on purpose. But on social media, I just kind of envisioned that I was talking to one close friend and I started dancing and I started the dancing is amazing, because I that dancing and cooking are the two skill sets. I
51:35
don't have.
51:36
I don't know that I can dance. But I
51:38
know you, you have some ribs, you can dance, but I feel like maybe that's part of the same brain capacity, like maybe cooking and dancing relate because my daughter can do all that tic Tock stuff she can cook but like my brain doesn't move in those directions.
51:52
You don't have to do that. That's part
51:55
of my site. That's part of my second life. Maybe I'll become like, take a cheerleading class. Okay, so you practice the video until it felt normal.
52:06
And they started recording video without sound. And so at the time, I downloaded an app called a hyperlapse I think it was called, which made videos go into fast forward and so I would show people that kind of like a boomerang, you know, it's like a speed adjuster. So I got it, I would record it like how to cut a bell pepper because people were okay to like how to cut things like the basic, right and I would make cute funny videos, so I could infuse my personality in those videos. And then make them like high speed and like 15 second clips, because you could only upload a 15 second video to Instagram at the time. Ah, and so that was how I started video was okay, I can put myself on there. But I don't have to talk like I can just I could Yeah. And it just slowly evolved
52:54
over the years. And so your first video was it an avocado? What was the video that kind of made everyone go mental? And you were like, wait, I don't get it. Why does everyone like this so much
53:04
avocado how to cut an avocado and cut it into four quarters and then peel the skin off and remove the pit with your hands without Yeah.
53:11
My daughter does that. Yeah, I mean with an avocado. It's just, there's just I don't know, it comes out like awards, like a war zone for sure.
53:23
And I shared I've shared that hack hundreds of times over the last six years. And to this I mean, it makes sense because I'm always having new followers and drama. To this day. I'll post it and people will literally tell me that I'm a genius. And I think that's so fun. I did watch the bell pepper one the other day. I was like, that's cool. Like that makes it easier. Yeah, it sounds stupid. But
53:45
when you're new to it, and you're looking at a bell pepper, it's like, what the fuck do I start on that? Yeah, like the top the bottom? Hey, how do I not make this a total math? Oh my gosh. And what about the corn? What's the corn story?
54:00
So I also don't like a mess. So any things I can do to make it less messy is my jam.
54:08
Yeah,
54:08
I don't know if I saw it somewhere. Or if I made it up myself, I honestly don't remember but rather than taking a piece of corn horizontally and cutting it so that all the kernels go everywhere. lay it flat on the board and just cut off the sides. And it's like, such a game changer. People
54:25
were like, Oh my god, lady, you're a genius. And you're like, wait, why? That's so funny. Okay, now I want to go back for a second about being consistent. Like everybody says that like what does that mean, specifically in your case? And what can we pull from that?
54:46
So being consistent, this was something I had to kind of adjust for myself. So a lot of the bloggers when I first started they were posting five new recipes a week which was like whoa, completely insane. That was something that I knew was unattainable for me in my lifestyle. And so be consistent in whatever is doable for you. So if posting like for you, for example, posting once every other week is manageable, you can manage your energy, it works for you, right? People know what to expect. So even if it's once a month, once a week, once every two weeks, choose something that's doable, and just be consistent in that better to start less and then add more. Yeah, I
55:31
don't post too. I post stories every day on but I do not post on my grid every day right now. Because it's just like, Ah, it's too much. Yeah.
55:41
So pick something that's attainable for you. And it doesn't have to look the same as everyone else. But get your audience used to expecting whatever it is that you're going to do, and then show up so that you can build that trust with them. Yeah, you say you're gonna show up every week, and then you don't forget. Yeah, that's a worry. That's
56:00
why I was just honest. I was like, Hey, guys, we're doing this every other Thursday. Like, yeah, I can't do it any other way for now? Yeah. And I have the content. It's not that it's that so much more comes with just having the episode. It's like you're pushing it. You're talking about it. You're doing all the Instagram that goes with that? Yeah, it's it's bigger than it seems.
56:22
And nobody in a year, like, totally help you. You can always add, but just totally,
56:27
you got us. And I think that's a really good takeaway from this is like, start where you where you're at, and do what you can, but be consistent. Whatever it is, like, even if, like you said, even if it's like posting something once a month, but if you tell people that's what you're doing. Yep. And I mean, I had someone DM me this morning, and she's like, Wait, is today the Thursday that you come out? I like to look forward to your episodes like she knows it's a Thursday. Yeah, but it's not today. It's next Thursday. But it's cute. Because it's like people know, like, when it's coming, and they sort of get they get excited about it and route you on. And that leads me to my next thing is in terms of your platform, I what is the most important aspect of it to you, because I've read that, like your audience is like key for you.
57:21
It's really about relationship building, I really try to view my audience as a bunch of human beings as opposed to just a bunch of numbers. And I think that's kind of the difference and how and why I built such a loyal audience. Because from day one, it was answering every single message. And if a question required an in depth answer, actually taking the time to answer that question as a teacher would if it's student question, I'm not just going to be like, whatever, but giving it the answer and the attention that it deserves. And so making those I mean, you can you can change lives over Instagram, DMS, like it's possible. So really just treating every single person as, as a human and building relationships over the years. I think
58:17
that everybody wants to be seen. It's a natural human instinct, and desire. And I think like, even for me on a much smaller scale than you, like people are saying to me, thank you so much for responding. Yeah, thank you so much for like reaching out to me, thank you so much for like, reposting that I you know, wrote a review. And these are people that I know, yeah, but I feel like if someone's gonna take the time to comment on your post or write a review, you have to acknowledge that, for sure. It's like, it is key.
58:55
It's just it's really all about the relationship. It's all about building that relationship and that rapport and that trust and going out of your way. Yes, to thank someone or to respond, if they're going to take the time to ask you a question or to trust you enough to ask you a question. Give them the time of day to respond. And it's not possible always to respond to everything as you know, especially as you
59:16
get so so, so much bigger, like you, but I try. Yeah, it's it's doing the best that you can. But I think recognizing people and seeing them because, you know, obviously I'm new to Instagram, but it is awkward going onto people's Instagram accounts and making comments because you don't know them. And you're like, Oh, that's so cringy Yeah, but the thing is, is the receiver really loves it. But then if they don't show that they've seen it, it you kind of feel like Ooh, that was pointless. Like, ooh, like, Did I say something wrong? And then you start feeling like, oh, maybe I shouldn't comment. Totally. It's kind of like this weird this weird phenomenon. Yeah. Now in terms of your audience, Like, when you felt like you were having shitty days, or like you just weren't having it, whatever. How did you use your audience to kind of like, keep you together?
1:00:11
Sometimes it just means, again, I think this goes back to understanding yourself. But sometimes it just means taking a step back and not showing up for a day and just literally saying, hey, like I'm having a day, and I just need a minute. Yeah, because that's what you might say to your friend or to a loved one. Like, I just need some space right now. Like, I
1:00:34
just need to take a beat. Oh, my mom kept calling me and like, and texting me. And I'm like, Mom, I'm handwriting a podcast, like, okay, with a cast? Yeah, with the cast, like, could you just like, give me a day? And she was like, Okay, I
1:00:47
get it. But it was like, had I not said that she would have been stalking me for another 24 hours, right? So Exactly. And it just goes back to, again, treating your audience as a as a as a relationship like, not having to and I'm not saying you have to show up and show yourself crying on your heart day. Oh, no, no, no, just being open and like not pretending like, I'm not having a hard day like, Hey, I'm having a tough day. And I'm fine. But like, I just need a second totally. And also just remembering and using your audience to help remind you why you're doing why you do. I love that. And I really love that. Sometimes it means actually doing the opposite of taking a step back and pouring into them. So that, for example, maybe I would like cook something and somebody would learn something, and thank me for it. And then it's like, oh, yeah, that's what fuels me. That's what fills me up. And so I kind of can use my audience in that way to just, sometimes I need to take a step back. And sometimes I need to pay attention more and pour into them and give them and teach them something so that I remember why I do what I do.
1:01:58
Yeah, I mean, last night, I saw this this girl that I don't really know, I know her tangentially she posted that she was doing this kind of like Italian Hanukkah sort of cooking class thing. And I wrote to her and I was like, Oh my god, you're you're doing it. Like, this is someone who would like DM me, like I so love your podcast, it's, you know, giving me the energy to sort of try to think about reinventing myself. And, you know, it was like one of those nice moments where she noticed me, I noticed her and then she notices me back and it's like, yeah, I'm reinventing myself. Because like, you're reminding me to do that. Yeah, you know, and I think it's nice when you recognize when somebody resonates with you, for sure. Because it's it's part of the energy and how you grow organically, because at this point, it's not like I'm doing these major advertising campaigns, the only growth is when somebody else reposts you or comments or whatever, it's all word of mouth.
1:02:57
And that's why the collaborations with other people in your space is so important, because they can also help remind you when you're having a shitty day like, you're awesome.
1:03:05
Like, you know, I
1:03:07
totally get that you're still awesome. And
1:03:10
I love that because it leads me into my next question of what was what were the number one things that helped you grow your Instagram platform and your business so much like collaborations like that kind of thing?
1:03:22
consistency and collaborations. For sure, just doing partnering with other people in my space, sharing recipes, doing giveaways.
1:03:32
Do people really like giveaways? people really like giveaways. Okay, yeah. Cuz I, you know, I keep hearing that. And I'm like, wait, and then people like, you should do that. I'm like, Why?
1:03:43
It's interesting. I
1:03:44
do less of them. Now. I used to do them as because again, I didn't know as part of like the growth strategy, right? Yeah. But now that I'm a little bit more in tune with the audience that I want to have, like, it used to be all about the growth, right? I used to just be like, get more followers, and you'll be more successful. It's really not the case, you can have 1000 followers or 500 followers on Instagram, and be wildly successful, whatever that means for you, right, whatever that means. You don't need a huge audience. And so sometimes giveaway giveaways are great to help grow your numbers. But sometimes you're getting people that aren't your people. They're just they're fighting away.
1:04:21
Yeah.
1:04:22
And so now I'm really intentional with the giveaways that I do do, because I want to make sure that when I'm collaborating, that the people who are going to come are going to be people who actually want to do their because anyone who doesn't want to be there.
1:04:35
Yeah, no, that makes sense. Now, in terms of making money, I know like you said, You didn't really make money for a number of years. What is the number one way to make money from doing something like you're doing like you have a blog? Yep. You have the Instagram following. You have the cooking course. So how do you make money from this?
1:04:58
So I mean, The cool part about this job is there's so many different ways to make money, and you just have to decide which Avenue you want to go. So I started as just a blog and the way that bloggers made money were through ads on their site. So ad revenue, and the more traffic you get on your site, the more money you make from that. So that was kind of the first.
1:05:21
So how did you get advertisers for that? How does that work?
1:05:25
In the beginning, you can, you can join some like ad networks for free. So like Google ads, or you could just sign up for them, and they just go on your site for free. Literally, I think the first year, maybe I made like $20, like the whole year, like it's not a lot of money, but I didn't have traffic. So right now you're trying to build your traffic so that that money adds up. So by about year three, I had a certain number amount of traffic, and there's ad networks that you can apply to. But you can't apply to these ad networks until you have a certain amount of views a month. So once you hit like God 1000 page views a month, you can apply or once you hit, it's like the chicken and the egg thing. Like you have to have this to get the advertising but you need the advertising to get bigger. It's like, Ah, so about two years ago, I was able I had enough traffic that I could apply to a really well known top ad agency. And now that's a big part of my income. So I got it, it's a really easy free way to support people who have ad revenue on their site, you can just go to their website and click around and you get a recipe they make a couple of friends and right. So ad revenue is a big a big way. sponsored content. So partnering with brands to do blog posts, or Instagram posts or just partnering with with those brands. So I would say for a long time, those were the two main sources was ad revenue and brand partnerships. And then some affiliate links, if you're big into affiliate marketing, right, and then creating my own digital products and programs and courses.
1:07:04
What has been the hardest thing for you?
1:07:08
Oh,
1:07:10
great question. It was really overwhelming to figure out how to take an idea and create it into something into a program to either sell and or how to conduct it. Like, like I said, Okay, just go write a cookbook. Well, how do you get that from your brain out? It totally,
1:07:32
I 100%
1:07:33
understand what your status. So that was really hard. And that learning curve of not only just how to get the idea from my brain out onto into the internet, but also how to market it, how all everything. I mean, it's all so hard. It's still so hard every day.
1:07:52
But you also took a business course, right?
1:07:55
Yep. So I've taken several so I kind of shifted the first three or four years I basically once a year, but do like a photography, workshop food photography. So that's where all my investing was going was getting my photography to be better than I realize, I'm fine with with where my photography is at. I'm really interested in working more with people creating products selling my own things. So why not hire someone to take the photos? If that's what they do for a living? I
1:08:22
say that.
1:08:25
And then I need
1:08:27
No, but I think that's a really good point too. And another step in this process is hire people within your budget who can take some stuff off your plate. I mean, I'm having a hard time finding exactly those people. But when you do, and it makes sense, like do the shit you want to be doing and not the other stuff. Right?
1:08:47
Totally. And in the beginning, you kind of need to do it all because you might Oh my God, that's what I'm
1:08:51
doing on my 12 to 15 hour days. But I would love at some point not to just like you said,
1:08:58
Yeah, and it took me. I'm five, now six years in, but about to about five and a half years in before I actually brought people on to do the stuff that I didn't want to do anymore.
1:09:09
Right? Yeah. And you fundamentally understand what those things are, which is great. So you, I interrupted you with the business courses. So
1:09:17
you went from the photography courses once a year to want to start investing in some business, business coaching and courses like that. So I could learn how to, again, take it from my brain, put it into a back end system, learn how to sell it, learn how to take payments, like all those things you don't think about? You know, how do I take payment from a credit card from a stranger? Well, you have to have it, you know, there are systems that you have to implement. And so learning all of that was really challenging, but that's that was kind of the next step was to invest in some business coaches and learn how to market my products and learn how to figure out who it was that I was actually speaking to. Because I can have an idea but how do I How do I get it out? and to the right person?
1:10:03
Um, no, I think we all are. And I think that sort of leads to another important point of, like I said before finding the right people who are going to help you. But like in from your perspective, it also shows that things are hard, like starting a business is really hard. starting something new is hard. And you couldn't just I mean, I guess you could have just hired someone and been like, create this, make this figure out how to put the credit card system together. But from what you're saying, You're like, No, no, I'm getting my hands dirty. I'm taking the course. And I'm figuring out how to do it. And I think that sometimes, people's journeys can kind of go awry when they're not willing to kind of do like the yucky stuff.
1:10:49
Yeah. And there was there was some things that I really wasn't willing to do on my own smaller things. But it's, and I've hired people that definitely didn't work out before. Yeah, part of just the process. But honestly, like my current VA that I have helping me, she always says, she's like, it's so helpful, that you understand what I'm doing, because it just makes our relationship easier and more productive. Like, I learned all the backend stuff. And so there's still things that they're still small things I don't understand, but she can explain to me what she's doing. And I have a general understanding of what that means. And I'm like, okay, but I want to hear like, just go do it.
1:11:29
Yeah, you're like, just make that happen thing.
1:11:32
Just do it. Yeah.
1:11:34
Okay. Now, I want to get to something fun for a second your husband, okay. Your husband. I don't know if he's like, my husband is like not mister Instagram. He got an Instagram account just to follow me and to be a good husband. But like taking pictures of him and posting him. He's kind of like, but he does it. He deals but I know that Zach went on a live with you. Can you tell us about that?
1:11:58
Yeah. Zach is definitely not Mr. Instagram. He He also has it but once every six months he'll go on and like all my photos because
1:12:06
totally Yeah. Jeremy just did that. yesterday.
1:12:08
I was like, oh, like you have 112 new likes. Oh, yeah. He doesn't watch my Instagram stories. He doesn't know what's going on day to day unless I tell him so I neither does Jeremy. Yeah. Which is fine. Actually, I kind of prefer it.
1:12:24
So now cuz then I like sneak in like part of him walking the dog. And he the only way he knows about is when his friends screenshot and send it to him.
1:12:33
I was able to secretly raise like $10,000 and surprise him after he ran a marathon. Like a couple years ago. I guess he doesn't watch my stories. We like I did it like behind the SATs. So
1:12:44
funny.
1:12:45
I was fun. Anyway. Oh
1:12:46
my gosh.
1:12:48
So how did he so yeah, so he comes across very, like serious. And it's kind of the joke because he is he's very dry. He's very level headed. And you know, we always say like, this is Zack happy and this is Zack. Sad. And this is Zack excited. And
1:13:04
that's my husband. That's why I sort of rounded out because I'm a lunatic. Yeah.
1:13:12
But he's also the kind of person where like, you know, when you're just close with him, and it's he's with his people. Like he's also he's also goofy. He also will dance. He also he has that side to him. Otherwise, it could never be married to him. But he's also just open like, we never had to really force him to do a live or to do an open.
1:13:33
I mean, it's not the live that you guys did. What do you guys cover? I haven't seen it. I mean, we've done a few what's in there one where you kind of like got into like, I don't know about your relationship? Yeah, it's usually
1:13:46
just an open q&a. And okay, when I bring him in, that's when usually like the personal questions will come up or religious questions. And we're open books. So like, if people ask a question, What's
1:13:57
the weirdest question you've ever gotten?
1:14:00
About weirdest question? Nothing like to crazier and okay. But like, if somebody will ask about like, I can't even remember honestly, it's been a long time since we've done one. But like, if they asked about, like, relationship issues are like going to therapy, like, we're happy to talk about that. But I feel like, not everybody is as open. So I don't know, you just kind of like, see a new side
1:14:24
and you think that your audience loves that? Because it kind of adds the relatability factor and like, Oh my god, she's like a real person. And like, she's got her counseling with her husband and her life isn't perfect and blah, blah, blah, right. Exactly. No, I love that too. That's that's definitely nice. Would you see people being real? Yeah. Now in terms of like, your personal inspiration, like where do you get cooking is I mean, for me is hard. Like, where do you get all this different inspiration from?
1:14:53
everywhere. I mean, inspiration is everywhere from just scrolling Instagram, like other people who are In the space and looking at pictures to going out to eat, which hasn't happened rarely in nine months going to restaurants or you know, traveling or magazine, I mean it's inspiration is everywhere. Whether like seasons you know I how I feel like it can be cold outside and it's just like, oh my god, I want like a warm cozy something. Yeah, I
1:15:24
saw your soups the other day. I was like, wait, I want all of those. But I don't want to make all of a lot of steps for Sarah. No, I love that now in terms of like, cook with confidence. What has been just to remind everyone, that's your eight week course for people who are beginner chefs, or
1:15:49
are beginners at first, but it's really just for anyone who's looking to gain confidence in the kitchen. Okay? Totally tied to a recipe. So people need to learn the basics who kind of never really got that if you're someone who, who either is afraid to cook or doesn't know how, like someone like you. Yes, wants to learn. It's definitely for you. Or if you're somebody who literally can't cook without measuring every single thing. And that's me to pay to a tee. Yeah, it's my daughter's like,
1:16:18
why are you doing that? I'm like, I don't know. I'm just following the instruction. Like, why
1:16:23
are you measuring the chopped basil?
1:16:25
Yeah, that that's me. Yeah. Now you have eight units. Do you know what they are off the top of your head?
1:16:32
I think I do. Okay, so we kind of start with two kind of foundational weeks. So week one, we do a kitchen audit, where we kind of talk about what you actually need, because a lot of people just walking into their kitchen is stressful. Just walking in is like, I don't know how to use half the stuff in my kitchen. I don't have the right things, or I have so much and I don't know how to use it. So I really go through here are the things that you actually need. And here's what I use. And here's what I love. But here's an alternative that you could have, right? We talked about pots and pans. What's the difference between a stainless steel pan versus a cast iron versus an enameled cast iron versus nonstick? My understanding what you're shopping for and how to use what you already have on hand. And then we talk about your pantry. So what are some basics to have in your pantry? What are the basic spices? You don't need to have 1200 spices you don't need to have? What are your two favorites? Other than salt and pepper?
1:17:32
Yeah, I don't know Pamela gave us like a whole we have a whole thing on olive oil and special salts. Are there any like two things or three things? We're like, you have
1:17:42
to have that. I mean, Pamela's the queen of all of this Yes, definitely the resource for this, but honestly, like, you can make delicious food with just some salt. Okay, it's really all you need. And some good quality ingredients all about the good quality ingredient, right? You don't need anything fancy. So salt, pepper, I love garlic. So garlic powder is like my favorite is garlic powder. This my daughter and I talk about this is garlic powder the same sort of like feel and taste as if you cut a garlic. It's it's a little bit different. I mean anything fresh, right? It's going to have a different, you know, feel and taste, but in terms of just having that spice on hand to just enhance more of the garlic flavor. But in terms of just like people if you're like a chef who's like really dissecting the flavor profile, like what can
1:18:35
you throw in the powder instead of having to peel the garlic and chop it? Okay, then I found garlic that was like pre peeled and for the freezer. That was I know, I'm making myself sound so awful. But it looks like it's like Darren done and so good and pretty and ready to
1:18:53
go. That that will never be as fresh as a fresh. So it's
1:18:58
but she does it herself. But like when it comes to me No way.
1:19:02
Right? And that's the thing. And that's kind of my whole thing is like you don't have to feel badly about that. I'm going to show you how to use fresh garlic and that's the best option. But if you want to buy pre chopped garlic, like
1:19:14
there's no judgment just oh my god, the funniest thing happened. So when my friend might when my daughter went to her friend's house for that dinner, the friend was like cutting garlic and the mom was like, wait, what are you doing? She was cutting it but she hadn't peeled it. Yeah. Oh god. And I was like, that could have probably been me too. Had I not had my daughter Marissa and like Teach me that when I first start.
1:19:37
Amazing. That's
1:19:38
so good. Okay, so the kitchen audit. The next is what knife skills
1:19:43
then we go into knife skills. So you basically have two weeks of just setting yourself up for success. So you it's like at that point, you walk into the kitchen kind of feeling like a badass like I know how to use this. I know how to chop this. And then we dive into the cooking so then at six weeks of We basically choose a theme for the week. So we do chicken week we do a vegetables and salad week, we do a pasta week, fish week, steak and red meat, and then a soup week. So we kind of cover just like all the basics.
1:20:14
Wow chicken seems to me like it would be the hardest. It's like a nightmare. It's like either half of its raw or my kids are like, please don't make that dry. We're chicken and I'm like, ah,
1:20:26
and I think people think and that's the thing is I think people come into this thinking all of these things are so hard like chicken is so hard, so intimidating. And then when I show them just a couple of like, tricks or tips or like, Oh,
1:20:41
it's usually thermometer.
1:20:43
Not anymore,
1:20:43
but okay, no, because my daughter, well, that's funny that you say that because my daughter when she first started was using a thermometer. So then I said, Oh, when you were at your friend's house, did you use a thermometer? She was like, No, I get it. I'm like, Oh, okay. Yeah.
1:20:57
It's really I think the thing is, like people make cooking to be so complicated. And it just doesn't have to be
1:21:03
right. No, that's I think that that's also the appeal of your platform, too. It's not like a 65 page recipe that requires 65 different things. It's like, this is me, this is the recipe like this is how you're doing it. Yeah. The other thing I've read about your course that I that appealed to me is you said, make sure you know what to expect in the recipes. Can you explain that?
1:21:27
Yeah. So definitely, if you aren't going to be following the recipe, it's so important to read the whole thing through, I mean, I can look at a recipe very quickly and kind of know. But if you're new to this, you need to read the ingredients, number one, and the instructions. Because if you don't read the instruction, I love this part, because this is
1:21:45
like a ceremony.
1:21:47
Totally, you will start you'll buy the ingredients, and then you'll start cooking. And then you'll get to step number three where it says put it in the font overnight for eight hours. And you're like, Wait, is
1:21:58
that getting? You're looking up on Google? Like how do you hack a 17 hour marinade?
1:22:03
Yeah, and sometimes it's doable, and sometimes it's just not so right. It's important to just know ahead of time and make that decision, and it just makes your life a lot easier.
1:22:12
Oh my god. So funny. Now in terms of teaching your course. What are there any things that have surprised you that you didn't expect or like common threads or things that you didn't think people would say or happen and did,
1:22:28
I knew that it could help people I didn't. When I first started, I didn't realize how life changing it really was. Because it's one thing to teach somebody how to cook. It's another thing to teach somebody how to cook. I mean, I seriously like get emotional thinking about it. But it's one thing to teach someone how to cook and then have them take those skills and apply it to their everyday life. So now all of a sudden, somebody who was ordering takeout every night and not eating with their family is now excitedly cooking dinner with their kids maybe maybe not. And sitting down to have meals with their family every single night. And that is that effect. That ripple effect that is trickling out to the people around them and into the world around them simply because they are confident in the kitchen was not something that I was really expecting. Like, and not everyone has that experience. But it has truly been so life changing for some people that it just, it's like I can never stop. Because if I can change somebody's life like that, like that is such a gift.
1:23:34
I know it's funny that you say that because my husband said the other night you know now that Marin has been cooking. I've been eating so many more vegetables. You know, it's like, she'll make like two vegetables with dinner and like before, like if we even had a vegetable it would be a shocker. You know? Yeah, here's a sweet potato on a piece of chicken. Exactly. Oh, I know that your Trader Joe's what's in my cart is like, you know, on everyone's minds, everyone looks forward to it on. It's on Mondays, right? Monday. Okay, so for people who aren't familiar with it, or who live in other states, what's the deal with that? And what's going on with what's in my cart?
1:24:12
So you're one of two people either love grocery shopping or you hate it?
1:24:17
I guess what I am
1:24:18
you you love it so much. You want to go every day? Like Have you been to the store once this year? I
1:24:27
actually have I think I've been like three times the rest of the time. I'm just like, that's gonna be delivered. That's gonna be delivered. Yep. But I do go sometimes because I like to see the new things that are out. Yes, the extra snacks that no one's ever gonna eat.
1:24:47
Yeah, so I love grocery shopping. And that's part of my inspiration. Like unless I'm making a specific recipe. I don't go with a list. So I like to just go go up and down. I have to go up and down every aisle. Always no matter what, and just be inspired by whatever looks good to me, whatever catches my eye. And also part of my inspiration comes from having conversations with people of like, what are you having for dinner? So when I worked with Sarah, I'd walk into the classroom in the morning, 730 in the morning, and she also loves to cook and I was like, What are you making for dinner? And we would just like brainstorm, so I used to go to the store, still go to the store, and I would look in people's carts. And I'm like, I'm creepy. And I was like,
1:25:27
No, I don't have to do to.
1:25:31
What did you buy?
1:25:32
And she has a lot of raw vegetables. Like, how is she can make those like, what do you do with a pile of Swiss chard? Yeah.
1:25:42
Or like, look at that fun snack. Where did you find that? Yeah. And so I would just look at people's carts and I realize, okay, if I like looking into people's carts, I know there's other creepers out there who totally fired by this. So I started sharing what was in my cart. Oh, I
1:25:58
think I bought the Trader Joe's and Yaki because of you. Yeah. And then we had like an yucky spaz attack in our house. We're like we're trying in the air fryer that's in the oven.
1:26:08
Yep. Exactly. And so it just became an inspirational thing. Like people like to see what was in my cart. And I like to share it and people it's, it's inspiring, for whatever reason, it just it is,
1:26:22
I love that you spend like $5 million for what's in my cart, because you're like buying shit that you wouldn't normally buy.
1:26:28
I typically don't buy stuff that I wouldn't buy. So I really just, I mean,
1:26:33
it's like when I go to Target and I end up with like, all this stuff that like why do I need 86 rolls of wrapping paper? Why don't know they were cute.
1:26:41
Yeah, there's so much that I would like to share like all the delicious treats from Trader Joe's and things that I just can't buy cuz I'll eat all of them. Oh, me too.
1:26:49
But I just don't share like mini ice cream cones. Forget it. That's one sitting. Done.
1:26:56
Yeah. Oh, so I just share what I'm actually going to buy and consume. And I think that's also part of it is like, I'm just sharing what I what I actually am buying for the
1:27:07
with totally helpful now. Okay, this is like another like little obsession of mine. Not obsession, but interests. I feel like at a certain point in your life, it's like you have to keep your shit together. It's not as easy as when you. Yeah, totally. You have to like, I mean, aren't you like the workout queen? You have to, like, maintain some level of keeping yourself together. In terms of you and your life. I know you like to work out right? I do. Can you tell us about that? Yeah, I hate it. But I do it. See, I do it. Yeah, I mean, now with the cast. I'm like on a hiatus.
1:27:48
I work out to feel good. Like it is part of my therapy. It is like the endorphins, the adrenaline. But I think I I'm lucky in that sense. Like if I and I don't have to work out every day like I can I can take weeks off and be fine. I don't usually do that. But it's part of my sanity. And it's my it's my, it's my drug like, right?
1:28:10
I love it. And I don't do anything else like meditation or crystals or
1:28:16
I don't know, I really want to want to be that person.
1:28:20
Yeah, no,
1:28:22
but I'm trying to find what that thing is. Big into, like working on my mindset and like I'm enrolled in programs to like help with all of that. But yeah, it's honestly the biggest part of entrepreneurship
1:28:34
is the mindset. Is there one that you love that you could recommend all of us?
1:28:39
I'm currently in one. It's NLP training, which is like neuro Wow. Yeah. So I'm like really into that right now.
1:28:48
And what are you doing in that that piques my interest?
1:28:52
I just started so okay. It's I don't have much to share about it. But I called I think it's his name is Peter Shaw. Okay. And it's just called nlp training. Okay, I'm
1:29:03
gonna have to look that up.
1:29:05
He is great. He in the business program that I most recently took as a bonus, which they didn't even sell us on this. But they brought him in every other week to do mindset sessions. And it's such a game changer. And then I was like, I need I need him in my life all the time. And so I signed up for his program. So now what's the basis of it? Like what's like the main takeaway is
1:29:29
it's just like
1:29:31
learning like understanding how your brain works and how to like rewire your thinking that's really what it is, is like rewiring your brain and how to deal with situations like all the shit that happens in not just not just in your work life, but in everyday life. Like how do you process that and how do you how do you deal I mean, I love therapy. I love the human mind, and I love learning about other people. My own self and so just anything self, any sort of self development.
1:30:06
Yeah, me too. I love it. Totally. I mean, you should see my nightstand. I've said before my husband's like, do you have like a Dewey Decimal System? Like what's going on here and like self help plan? Like anything that's like brain mindset growth. I'm all over. I love love. Now switching gears for a quick second COVID. How has that changed your? I don't know, not just your life and your platform, but like, are you making three meals a day for everybody? Are you going cuckoo like what's happening in there?
1:30:38
I think like, a lot of people. It's a little bit of everything. Sometimes I'm making three meals. Sometimes I'm crying on my back porch like, right. It's very up and down. Okay. I feel really lucky in a lot of ways, for a couple of reasons. I think as hard as it is on parents to have young kids at home, I feel lucky that they're not teenagers at this time. And mine like yours. If yours, it feels harder on them. And so I'd rather take the brunt in that sense. And my kids are also happy at home. And so I feel really lucky. They're, they get along really well. They play really nicely. So it's annoying, and it's hard. Yeah. I feel lucky in that sense. And also, I feel lucky that I really liked Zach and so I know I don't I don't mind being around him all the time. So I feel very lucky and and I'm able to work from home and still be still thrive, my business is able to still thrive.
1:31:38
So that's been really nice. But you have any COVID tricks, like in terms of meals, like are you like pre make like hummus, carrot plates, I mean, I basically have like, cut up fruit and put it in these like mini Amazon bowls in the refrigerator, because then I feel like the kids at least are like grabbing something, they're never going to take the time to like wash strawberries or whatever. Totally. It's it's been hard the that that was part of my breakdown yesterday,
1:32:07
I was unloading the dishwasher because there was 100 dishes waiting to go in. And that came in to put another plate down and I lost my shit. And I started bawling. And I was like, it's just another. As soon as I clean this up, it's another meal like I know are never ending. Like I know I
1:32:27
kind of I've talked about this before. In one of my episodes, Jeremy became in charge of the dishwasher. Because he didn't like the way I was organizing it.
1:32:36
Zack will teach you how to organize so you can
1:32:39
go but I don't even want to be taught. I'm like you just fucking do it. Yeah, yeah, that's a thing.
1:32:45
It's a thing.
1:32:46
It's a thing. Like I don't need to perfectly wash a fork before it goes in the dishwasher. And like I really don't care where it is. But he does.
1:32:54
It's it's a whole debate. We've,
1:32:56
I've shared a lot about this. It's like, yeah, we need to have like a whole dishwashing like series
1:33:02
that did like a tutorial on my stories. And people were very into it.
1:33:06
So interesting. Like I grew up in a house where the dishwasher was like a basket. Did you ever have that where it's like, oh, the forks stand up in one section? Oh, yeah. Right. Yep. So that was like easy. You just through the shift in and moved on. But like the newer ones, you have to put each little piece on the tray. Like it's a chess game. And I'm like, Who has time for this shit. It doesn't even matter. I think some people find it like meditative or something. I don't know. Maybe Zack does. I don't know. It's a thing.
1:33:37
I'll I'll have him teach you but I was against it. And then he's converted. That was like one of our COVID like relationship breakthroughs was I'm on board with the new dishwasher loading and unloading
1:33:50
outright and a half. Is there. Is there like a one nugget of that you could share with us or now.
1:33:58
I mean, it's so stupid, but like, it's the dish. It's the silverware tray, right? Like right top. So I would just put in things wherever.
1:34:07
That's what I do know, he
1:34:09
puts all the small forks together.
1:34:12
That may seem shady shit in our house. He goes Sarah,
1:34:15
but if you do it that way, when you unload, it's not a clusterfuck right. And I didn't care and I started as like one of my compromises one of my marriage compromises. Okay. COVID I was like, I'm gonna try to do it. And now I can't
1:34:29
not do
1:34:30
it. That's so funny. Oh my god, I can't believe where even like conversation but like there are conversations that matter. Weirdly. I know. We all have these, like awkward conversations in our house. Totally. Nobody really like talks about it, but I'm happy we're talking about it. Yeah, but I do want to say how impressive and inspiring yourself recreation story has been for all of us. In this podcast. We're talking a lot about small steps with golden shovels and what small steps Can I take today It seems like you had a passion for cooking and taking photos of your cooking. And then you came across a food blog. And now you just dove into knowing what you wanted to do and sticking with it, and taking a risk on yourself. And that's really hard to do. And I hope that people will listen to this and be like, shit, I can do that. Or I can do something similar to that. Because I feel like we all have strengths and we all have energies to give to the world, we sometimes don't know exactly what they are, or what the manifestation of that will look like. But as long as we try to do something, I hope that that if anyone gets anything out of this podcast, it's that but before we wrap up, I want to do a few fun shit about lady questions that I asked everybody. Okay, you ready? I guess. Okay, what's next on the bucket list?
1:35:52
Oh, honestly, this is so random. I'm not like I'm a homebody. So like I thought that list is not like do this do that. But I've been looking at Instagram pictures of like wintertime in like Norway. Okay, and there's these like, amazing, like magical, like, cozy cabins and like snowy towns and like, I wanted for my 40th birthday. Go to Norway.
1:36:17
Okay, well, that's a cool thing. I mean, you can go see the light. You know, all those were the Northern Lights. Yeah. I love that. Yes. I've always wanted to do that. But I'm always like, Wait, how am I going to like sleep if it's light? 24 hours a day? I know. I don't right. These are like my small dumb thing. Okay. Is there anything that you've learned in quarantine? That's now on your bucket list?
1:36:44
Oh, man.
1:36:46
I mean, mine's a dishwasher because I'm not doing it. I mean, I
1:36:53
think just really, you know, only we have the choice what once and hopefully life goes back to whatever. A new normal. Yes. It's not doing all of the things because it you I think we quickly I leave I quickly realized that it was all just too much. Yeah. And we don't have to take it all back on. And so I think just doing less whenever we have the opportunity to do more,
1:37:24
totally doing more of what you love for sure. Do you have a secret pleasure?
1:37:28
I think it's a secret. I mean, Jenny, Jenny's peanut butter chocolate fleck ice cream is Oh, I've never heard of that. Like, it's not a secret and Okay, the best thing of my life and I okay, I have it, like four nights a week, five nights a week. How do
1:37:46
you decide which night? Just whenever I'm feeling it, okay, because I feel like that would be like every night for me. Okay, what about a favorite beauty treatment? facial I love a facial. Okay. You'd like to having your your pores squeezed or you like this sort of steam fluffy.
1:38:04
I like the face massage. Okay, got it. Oh, always after a facial over a massage. Ooh, interesting. Okay,
1:38:12
what do you do any whoo things? crystals meditations you do the NLP right? Yeah.
1:38:19
I so I'm getting more into mindset work. I I just bought a red light therapy, which is like very exciting. Have you used it yet? Just last night for the first time. Oh, and what what are the benefits, the proposed benefits of it. So learning about it, but it's really about like deep cell regeneration muscle, like helping with joint pain and healing muscle pain and recovery. And just like overall, it has tons of overall health benefits and things like that. Yeah,
1:38:51
I love looking at those Infrared Sauna chambers on lights. Maybe one of my kids could move out and we could get one of those. Like right now we're short on space.
1:39:02
That is on my list. Like one day when I have my dream house. I'm going to have an infrared sauna in the back. Yeah,
1:39:08
me too.
1:39:09
I said that.
1:39:10
I No, no, no, no, me too. We're gonna manifest that together. Otherwise, it's going to be in my backyard like a like an eyesore who renders eyesore. Now what about your favorite TV show?
1:39:25
It depends on the category. But I mean most recently in in COVID, we've watched its Creek twice.
1:39:31
Oh my god. It's so funny.
1:39:34
I would watch it 100 times today. Like a parenthood
1:39:38
or a mess like you kind of like brainless funny like,
1:39:43
get it? Yes, but I also love Handmaid's Tale, which is the Apple
1:39:49
Watch that because I only watch one TV show before I go to bed and I can't watch anything that could be like any like any scary or dark can't watch that before bed. I know. That's the problem. But it's on my list. Maybe that'll become like a daytime COVID project like as if I have that time during the day. Yeah. To watch Handmaid's Tale during the day. What's the last thing you ordered from Amazon? Hanukkah gift?
1:40:14
1000 Hanukkah gift,
1:40:16
oh, nieces and nephews and Michael, my god. Oh my god. Okay. We talked about intuition. But was his intuition natural for you? Or do you work at it?
1:40:27
It's, I think it comes very natural from okay.
1:40:30
Okay, what's the smallest thing we can do today to start our shift towards self recreation?
1:40:38
Just take a deep look into what it is that you want. Like, what is it that you have to offer? Not what you think other people want? But what is it that you are passionate about? And that you know that you can help? You know, I forget, I can't remember who said all the things that like
1:40:57
Yeah, I know, none of us can turn on a verb can.
1:41:00
Someone was saying talking about like, when you ask a kid rather than asking a kid? What do you want to do when you grow up? Ask them what do you want to be?
1:41:09
Yeah. So
1:41:10
what is it that you want to be and do to? What is your gift to the world? So again, not thinking about, like, what does my husband want me to do? or What does my mom want me to do? But like, What do I want?
1:41:22
And I also love that in terms of if you think about it from a parenting perspective. You know, now that I have teenagers, it's like, you can't make your kids be what you want them to be. Right? You have to just appreciate them for who they are and what they're bringing to the world. And that's a really hard thing to do. Yeah, it really definitely is. Now what would your bottom line advice be on finding the sweet spot in the second half of life? Oh,
1:41:50
my God. So hard question. I
1:41:52
know. Repeat last one. What would your bottom line advice be on finding the sweet spot and the second half of life?
1:42:03
I mean, I think it's a similar answer, but like, doing what makes you happy. Because if you're trying to do something that you don't really care about, or you think that's what the other person needs, like you're not gonna you're not going to be able to stay committed, you're going to burn out. And so
1:42:24
yeah, it's kind of like the what wakes you up in the morning idea? Yeah,
1:42:27
yeah. What keeps you going? Yeah, I
1:42:30
love that. Well, now that we have shit shoveled for today ladies, I love talking with you I loved your golden nuggets in life and I know all of the listeners will too I've loved digging deep with our golden shovel. If listeners want to find you where can they find you?
1:42:49
They can find me on Instagram at life has been a dish I'm life has been addition all the social media platforms or my website is life is better dish.com for all my recipes and your online cook with confidence and cook with confidence program which they can learn about on my website or on Instagram just DM me or message me and I'm happy to hang out amazing Okay everyone, I
1:43:12
want you I want everyone to think about what shit we can start doing today. One small step. I want to thank Laney for highlighting the tools and inspiration to help us enhancing our mental and physical health in the second half of life and self recreating with journeys that make sense to each of us. And hence this podcast Laney shorts Life Is But A dish.
1:43:35
Thank you. Thank
1:43:35
you. I love talking to you.
1:43:38
Thank you so much and you're doing it so oh my god.
1:43:41
Honestly, I'm crying. Thank you so much for your time. I love chatting with you. I feel like we have to have another one. I know like I want to know about mindset. I want to talk about the dishwasher.
1:43:54
Oh my god.
1:43:54
All right. Say hi to Sarah for me.
1:43:56
Okay, thanks.
1:43:57
Thanks for having so much. Good peeps. Thank you so much for listening. If you enjoyed finding our sweet spot today, and digging through layers of shit with your golden shovel, subscribe, subscribe. Subscribe. DM me on Instagram at the flexible neurotic. Tell me which golden nuggets resonated with you. The ones that you're gonna start using today to start getting your shit together to find our sweet spots. screenshot it, send it to a friend. This is Dr. Sarah Milken, the flexible neurotic, inspiring you to gather, curate, incorporate, maybe even meditate