Episode 12 transcript

Sarah Milken  03:19

It would not even it would honestly not even be possible for this brain at this point in time at all. But okay, so we're gonna start I'm gonna take a sip of water. Great, huh? I'm going to introduce Kevin even though he's not sitting here, but I guess I say that he's in the shower. Great. Okay, great. Hi, good, peeps. This is the next episode. Nope. starting again. Hi, good peeps. This is the next episode of the flexible neurotic podcast. I'm Dr. Sarah Milken, the flexible neurotic. today. I have a married couple as my guest today. But we know that she of this couple will be the focus today. You know the woman of the couple as Susan wicks on Parks and Recreation. Christopher Guest movie mascots. What can I say? Isn't Wix. Sorry. I'm calling you Susan. Because if you said, I mean honestly, that's what happens. Okay. You know the woman of the couple as Jessica wicks on Parks and Recreation, the Christopher Guest movie mascots and her role and Almost Famous. This is Susan Yardley, the husband of the star studded couple who is now in the shower and has not appeared yet is the famous comedian who starred in Saturday Night Live for what 100 years. He was the star of Hons and fronds and many more, and his character on weeds of course, Doug Wilson and also known for his hikes with Kevin on YouTube. This is Kevin nealon, who's not here yet because he's in the shower. They are Parents, their parents to a 13 year old named Gable, who is insanely adorable adore. They are the parents to a 13 year old named Gable who is insanely adorable. I know this also because my daughter and Gable went to elementary school together. If you check out Susan's Instagram, she is a 49 year old derrek Lee funny and gorgeous comedian who shows us her roller skating skills and her hot body in her office. Kevin is out of breath in his deep stories with other celebrities in his hikes with Kevin. The show notes will have their Instagram handles and you guys can follow them yourselves. Hi, Susan and Kevin in the shower.

05:51

Hi, Sarah. Hi. It's so nice. It's so good to see you. I

Sarah Milken  05:56

feel like I haven't seen you forever. Yeah, it's been a long time. It's

06:01

great to see you. Good morning.

Sarah Milken  06:02

I know and you don't even age it's so weird.

06:05

Oh, it's good lighting and four pairs of Spanx, but

Sarah Milken  06:09

oh my god and or like duct tape around your neck and face.

06:13

Yeah. Whatever works.

Sarah Milken  06:16

I know. I've wanted to duct tape the back of my neck just to pull it forward. Just like a quick nip and tuck. It sounds good. I know I'm gonna try it.

06:25

YouTube video where someone duct tape themselves against the wall. Yeah, she just slept there. That sounded really relaxing.

Sarah Milken  06:31

actually does, especially during a pandemic. It's like, oh, save me

06:36

in the garage and then just don't bother me for five.

Sarah Milken  06:39

Oh my gosh, yes. Well, before this conversation goes hyperactive and haywire. And before Kevin gets out of the shower, I want to read my intentions. for this episode. I am not an actor. I have no working memory at age 45 and a half. I'm going to read the intentions for this episode aloud. Who knows if we will achieve them. But the listeners will at least know what my intentions were. So here goes. Ready, Susan? Ready. My intentions for this episode as it is for all my episodes of flexible neurotic is for us to dig deep with our golden shit shovels in an edgy conversation about how we and all of us can find our sweet spots between neurotic and chill. In this case, we're going to find the sweet spot and creating more comedy in our homes, learning from acting and comedy failures or mishaps starting small to build too big. And just to be more present and laugh a little bit more. You only live once. We are going to dig into some celebrity grit muscle of rejection and feedback outlines some tools to keep ourselves in the game of constant re assessment and in the face of rejection, missteps and detours and some massive successes. For example, if you are a star of Saturday Night Live or Parks and Recreation, then where do you go from there? They are going to give us marriage tips, comedy stories and some career highlights. Get ready for some laughs in the middle of a pandemic. It's much needed. So we are going to skip the section about Kevin until he joins us in his bathrobe. And we're going to skip to Susan. So Susan, can you give us a quick and dirty on how you lived in Nashville how you grew up? You wanted to ask you couldn't sing you hit it big in fourth grade. Tell us about?

08:42

Oh, wow. Okay, so we'll just do kind of a rocket ship through. I was born and raised in Nashville, Tennessee. And at the age of 18. I left to go to USC film school. And so went from Nashville where you can see this kind of background with goats, chickens and horses and you name it to downtown LA. Where I watched the riots right outside my window with LA riots happened in the early 90s.

Sarah Milken  09:11

So it's very similar to Nashville, I'm sure.

09:13

Yes, exactly. Yes. And I'm so a bit of a culture shock. But I loved every minute of going through USC and going to film school and, and taking classes on Doris Day and classes on Hitchcock films and every morning popping popcorn and sticking it in my backpack and going to campus to just learn and and they would have little focus groups in college where they say okay, on Sunday, they're going to show this movie that's coming out who wants to come and watch it and give feedback to the producers. And I'm like, I'll go. So we went we watch this little darling movie. It was so cute. And they said, well, it's going to come out a few months. Do you guys have notes? And I said, Actually, I don't have notes and that movie was home alone. Oh my god, and it was so cool to be in the epicenter of this magical fairy land of Los Angeles. It still is it still excites me every day when I look outside and see the palm trees and think about this community, this town where dreamers come and make their dreams come true. And it's just it is alive. It's electric. So from USC film school, I went straight to the Groundlings, amazing, took the class there fell in love ended up doing that program for about four years or

Sarah Milken  10:22

so everyone knows what the Groundlings are, can you

10:26

similar to Second City, their second city in Chicago and the Groundlings would be the equivalent Los Angeles which is a sketch comedy and improv school. And I just fell in love with I acted as a child in Nashville, just little small parts here and there. But I think what really submitted it was going to the Groundlings and seeing these people and the way that they saw the world was the way I saw the world the absurdity, the satire, and I just loved it. And to this day, a dear friend with that entire group of people from 2528 years ago that I took classes with and we've grown up together, we've had our families together, they were at the hospital when Gable was born. It's just such a dear precious group of tender souls that I'll have with me forever. So that was an important part of my life. And then from the Groundlings Sunday show, I got an agent and it started working in my mid, I would say mid to late 20s is when things started to kind of this was before Kevin, pre Kevin PK, Kevin. Yeah, yeah. Now

Sarah Milken  11:29

before we skip out of there, I kind of want to go into your childhood for a minute. Sure. I know. issues. Yeah, exactly. The good old days. Yeah, um, you knew how to act, but you didn't know how to sing. So how did you get into music videos? How did you hit music videos?

11:54

That's a good so I had a friend because she was probably seven or eight years old at the time. And she said, I'm going to go to this TV commercial and pretend on the local newscaster as a child, I thought, well, that's cool. You get to go and act and pretend. And then I thought, that's awesome. And I said to my parents, I have no family show business whatsoever. So they thought it was adorable. And that was really great. So there was no stigma about it the way that maybe Kevin and I would have a stigma stage

Sarah Milken  12:22

parents in LA.

12:24

Yeah. Parents just thought well, that's adorable.

Sarah Milken  12:28

We'll get photos taken of you

12:30

do that. Of course. The photos were taken me with a horse. You know, this kind of background isn't enough. When made a polished, Miss if that's a word. Yeah, everything was made with the horse. Me with on top of the tablecloth?

Sarah Milken  12:44

didn't look like Kim Kardashian.

12:47

Uh, no, no,

12:49

I was I kind of look like oh, Donny Osmond a little bit. Perfect. Yeah, it was it was really attractive. And I'm surprised Hollywood didn't scoop me up when I was nine.

Sarah Milken  13:00

Yeah, but I worked for you because you somehow made it to famous people music videos.

13:07

Well, what happened? I think there was one agency at the time in Nashville. So my mom took my photos. And we kind of learned how the game was playing dropped him off. They would call me in for auditions. And really there were not that many 12 year olds doing this. So I'd go in and I did a Bologna commercial locally permitted landing waterslide where I got $20 to write down a water park slide all day long. I was tickled I couldn't believe I got a $20 bill at the end of the day, and myself. And then it started escalating. And then I got Johnny Cash his Christmas special because they're all these country singers would shoot their music videos in Nashville. So Mickey Gillies music video, Amy Grant music video, and they always needed children or teenagers and um, so they would just call me up and I would do that. And

Sarah Milken  13:54

I love to add a tire.

13:56

Oh, parachute pants. A sweatshirt with Oh, Chinese lettering on it. capezio jazz shoe

Sarah Milken  14:03

my god I remember that

14:05

number. That hope was that was that ended because you're cool. You're from California.

Sarah Milken  14:10

We had all that and I had like the Z cover ichi pants, and then I'd wear like a body suit. And I had like the permed hair with the highlights. I mean, like such a scene. And yeah, the acid wash jeans are back.

14:23

I still have mine in my 19

Sarah Milken  14:26

I just had to rebuy mine. I mean, I paid extra for that. I should have just saved them. I

14:33

mean, I don't

Sarah Milken  14:34

know if I'm the same size. I might have like a little bit of a fat rolling over the top. But you never know. You never know. But so you grew up in Nashville. Now explain the story with your parents, like grew up with a mom and dad and then that change? Right? So I grew up with the mom and dad and then my mom is now married to a woman Right. So can you guess it like a Glennon Doyle type situation?

15:04

Very similar. Okay, very similar. But without all this therapy and help the Glennon and abiword have they had such any support and understanding and they, you know, active. Exactly. So back in the 70s and 80s, for me to have a gay parent was a highly unusual and not talked about there was not the Ellen show there was not willing grace. So it was something I was to keep a secret, I would not was not allowed to talk about it. There was so much secrecy around it,

Sarah Milken  15:39

because your mom told your dad later in the marriage, how old were you?

15:46

The timeline because I still feel I need to protect some people involved in the situation.

15:51

Oh, okay.

15:52

Yeah, so I'll say it was my entire most of my entire childhood. I knew my mom was gay. My parents actually divorced when I was 16. Got it. Okay. Again, if we had had the tools, and therapy and honest dialogue and a support system, I feel like there would have been safety for my family to come out in a way that was loving. And it just we just didn't have that ability. And that's sad. And that's heartbreaking. And we

Sarah Milken  16:25

show you what elements of that have shaped who you are today.

16:30

Great question.

16:34

I have a fierce desire to always speak the truth. Tell the truth. Tell the truth. Tell the truth. Even if it's hard. Even it's hard.

Sarah Milken  16:45

I feel safe when people tell me the truth. And how do you have a tactic for that? Like, how have you always been like that, or it's sort of a view of you, it's evolved over time, because of this experience.

16:57

This experience was so colossal for me. And one of those things to watch to not be able to speak the truth of, of my mom sexuality, who my mom loved, and to have to keep it quiet to protect her in this community was such a burden. It was like having a lead candle in my back to have to always, who could I tell them? Could I not tell? Yeah, who would bully us who might burn our house down? And I'm not kidding. It sounds crazy. No, I

Sarah Milken  17:25

mean, I understand

17:26

real, real concerns. So when I grew up in a home, where there had to be enormous secrecy, because it was a life and death matter. breaking free and coming to LA for me meant that I would just, I would speak the truth, and I would live freely, and I would love who I love, and not listen to other people's opinions, but just follow my own guidance. Even if it's hard, even if it doesn't make sense to others, but I would live in a space of truth.

Sarah Milken  17:58

And it must be hard doing the space of truth inside of Hollywood inside of now what we have is social media, because you have a magnifying glass on you. nobody really cares what I'm doing. I mean, my inner circle, maybe but nobody care. I know you do. But you see what I mean. It's like, yeah, a whole following you have people watching you, you have cameras watching you. They're seeing every move that you're making. So that's a pretty strong sort of self assertion that you can sort of stick with your principles.

18:33

Well, Oh, thank you. Thank you for that. I also feel again, can I have have had long talks about this, I purposefully only share about 14% of my life in the world and on social media. So 14% is the right number for me. That's why did you get to 14 I don't know why I like that number. If

Sarah Milken  18:56

it resonates, it's good. I got it

18:58

resonates and I say always about 14% I have watched people that go all in with social media and every nitty gritty detail. Then when something happens that's sad or unfortunate. They don't want to disclose that and it's it's hard to get led people with you this whole time and share everything all the dirty laundry outside. And then one or two things happen in a marriage or with a child or whatever, and suddenly the door shut. So for me I'll I'll share about 14% of my life and then a precious dear tender things that I don't want to share just private with my family. And people don't need to know about every surgery for me or every you know, hip replacement. Right, right. Again, every single rejection every single thing so that's what works for me. Everybody's different and everybody has a different path with how much they want to share.

Sarah Milken  19:55

But for me that feels about right. Now do you enjoy social media?

20:00

Um, I, I'm not on Facebook, I got off Facebook and I got off Twitter recently. And a couple years ago, my friends said you should get on Instagram, you should get on Instagram and I thought, I'm not sure what I did do Facebook only lasted three weeks I didn't quite understand

Sarah Milken  20:18

it. I've never been on Facebook, but I have to now with this podcast, but I'm not sure exactly how to do it.

20:25

It's kind of a different world. And

Sarah Milken  20:27

there's a lot a lot like I'm a little late in the game on some of the social media but I'm catching up first steps baby steps. I didn't have a personal Instagram account or any account until two and a half weeks ago when this podcast launched. And you know, that's scary too. Because you're going from you're putting yourself out there with zero followers as a 45 year old like sort of embarrassing kind of vulnerable

20:53

it's kind of cool though. I like it. It's very it's like underground New York cool. kind of be 45 and no followers. It's

21:02

like it's a good way of

Sarah Milken  21:05

cool Yeah, it's sort of like walking outside with your underwear on. But like grandma underwear like not even like pretty underwear. But I feel like if you lay the grandma underwear out there and you're honest about it then like maybe something will work I mean, I think it has because in two and a half weeks there are like I don't know 580 followers who are our demographic our age all looking for this information. So you got to start somewhere, right? Huge.

21:35

That's huge. So you got to start somewhere and so the way I got an Instagram is my dear friend Kim said you need to be on Instagram you need Bennett gram so she took my phone registered me Oh my god, can you stand over there and she took my picture she said you're now on Instagram. You're gonna be good at this. And I said what? And then I fell in love with it. I really liked

Sarah Milken  21:54

your Instagram. It's like a movie for me. I like checking on like, okay, what's she doing today? So one day you're rollerskating in the house through the house with like hot pants on and like rainbow socks your knees looking like a hot body like oh my god then the next second you're the lunch cafeteria Lady for your son Gable which is such a crack up I mean you go from like stunning to spastic I mean, it's all over the place.

22:23

It's all over. It's a fun platform to just ah be free. And I like to turn Instagram upside down when I see many many people with everything is so polished. I kind of like the idea of going we went and shot at a junkyard this weekend down in scrap metal Junker, that's when you are in the yellow gown. Yes. Fun to take a yellow gown and go being a junkyard and, and scrap metal place. And so So Kevin, I kind of approach it artistically. And what are what are the things that would be upside down?

Sarah Milken  22:58

Like a total juxtaposition? It was fantastic. I didn't even know that it was like a satire because I was like, Wow, she looks stunning. I didn't I don't know if I knew was a junkyard. I was like she's on a railroad. She's outside. I mean, it was amazing. Now you were talking about having your friend group from the Groundlings and I heard you talk about how your friend group was important to you how you had a boyfriend for four years in high school. And so can you sort of dig into was the boyfriend so you didn't have to do middle school girl drama? Like how do you maintain yourself through all of that

23:40

the boyfriend in high school was a godsend because I sort of recommend everybody have a boyfriend or girlfriend. I

Sarah Milken  23:48

did. Yeah. I had a boyfriend from ninth to 12th grade. See? Isn't it nice to be tucked in that cocoon? Yeah. My husband was tucked in between that boyfriend and other things. He will admit, I know. He was like a minute of a kiss in ninth grade for like a month. And now I'm married to him, which is even more crazy. Wow. I know. We'll have to tell Kevin that when he comes back, but yes, the school that Gable and Marin were at was the school that Jeremy and I met in ninth grade.

24:23

Wow. Did you embarrassed head

Sarah Milken  24:27

I know. I say to my kids all the time. I'm like, my son's in 10th. I'm like just No, you could have met your wife a year ago. Like how crazy is that? Wow.

24:40

I know you guys are such a wonderful parents. Are you nurse Jeremy are just delightful. They are two peas in a pod. Jeremy cracks us up. You talk about his right dry humor. Oh

Sarah Milken  24:55

my god

24:56

rise about he can just do a little bit of parenting meeting. Look across the room at Kevin at night with just a look. And I know exactly what

Sarah Milken  25:05

I know. Like, get me the fuck out of here. She's got 60 seconds until I get in the car. Yeah. Totally. And the funniest thing is that he's like so honest about it, but like in such a sweet way, like he'll say, to the director of the school, you know, I have a 20 minute timespan. So we got to get the show on the road because I can only handle school events for 20 minutes, a lot of chatting for me a lot of extraversion, but he owns it.

25:33

But that's the whole circling back to tell the truth. Tell the truth tell the truth. That is I find that I'm very comfortable when people tell me their truth. When someone says to me, okay, I have one hour to do this with you that that's great. Rather than being with someone who says no, I have all day, but they're resentful about it.

Sarah Milken  25:50

Yeah, they're like, edgy and no, gee,

25:53

it'll come back in two months, they want to play papers, you know, it's like, just be clean. Tell your truth. It's that's the way to go.

Sarah Milken  26:01

Totally Yes. And I also think related to this whole idea of female camaraderie and having a boyfriend for four years of high school is this notion that I've heard you talk about of showing up and showing up, it can mean a million different things. But in my house showing up is crucial. My husband and I have taught our kids, you show up for yourself, you show up for your friends, you show up for acquaintances, that's just what you do. It might be annoying to have to go to a friend's piano recital. But guess what? We're doing it and you're doing it. Because if no one show if no one showed up for other people, there wouldn't be anyone for that person. And we're doing it. And I've heard you talk about it. So do you want to tell us why it's important to you? And you also have another definition of showing up meaning showing up for something even if it's not exactly what you're expecting it to be? Like a small part in a role or something?

27:03

Right? I there's a book out that I just read called the surrender experiment.

27:07

Yes, I

27:07

have that on my nightstand. I haven't read it yet. It's really interesting in this in this harkens back to what you said, This man daily would wake up kind of surrender his life to universe, it sounds very hairy. wackadoodle. But it's like, right, right. And he would surrender. And whoever would come in his life that day, he would follow it. He would follow it to someone. Eventually, he would meditate every day and just say I'm open to the universe, who's gonna come in? guide me? Someone comes in and says, Can you write computer programs for me? He goes to their office and starts running computer programs. And now it's worth hundreds of millions of dollars, because that led to this, that yes, led to that. So we've just kept saying yes to the next thing, right. And it led to this beautiful, gorgeous career, but also creating a sanctuary for meditation, which is a big part of my life as meditating. So in terms of showing up for people, yeah, I think you have to say, also, do I like this person? Because you can't show up for everybody? No,

Sarah Milken  28:08

you can't. You can't. Yeah,

28:09

so you have to say as I keep it real lean. I've got that core group that are family to me. They're not even in the friendship category. Okay, not

28:20

family. There.

28:21

There we are. all in together. We are we're I mean, it's, yeah, it's, I had a spider bite, and I'll pull my pants down and say, what kind of spider is it? Could you with my? That's Yes, it's that. I'm sorry. So showing up is it's crucial. Yeah, it is crucial. being there for someone and also being there for them on the myriad of emotions that they're feeling. So you know, being there for Yes, happy days, but also sad days. Also days, they've been rejected on through their divorce through their child's suicide.

Sarah Milken  28:58

It's a response. And sometimes it's just listening and just nodding your head and they just know that you're listening. You may not even have a piece of advice, right? It's just like an ear, like no judgement. Somebody's listening to me. And I think I think this the two definitions of the showing up are important because they're related but different things. There's like one where you're showing up for a friend showing up for family being supportive. Instead of texting on someone's birthday, who's your best friend, you pick up the phone? You call them like there's some old school shit that we got to get back?

29:34

The old school bring it out, let's do it. Or Yeah.

Sarah Milken  29:38

Or you go and buy a card. What a concept. Oh,

29:43

I love mail. I know the mail people who come and bring a card. I love this thank you note. Oh, it's like, wow, this person like took a minute to get to know write the letter bias. It's so old school, but it has so much more meaning to it and so many layers, it really does. And in terms of COVID, just, you know, everybody, especially friends that are single going, going, I'm going to go pick up some tacos, and I'm going to be at your house at 630. Tonight, we sit outside, and I'm bringing tacos, just the action of showing up for people. Yes. And for me that is been keeping it lean. So that I can be I mean, I don't follow that many people on Instagram by design, I keep it kind of lean and mighty. So I can really be present for either people in social media world or my friendships, I'd like to make sure it's clean and tight. And that way we can just be all cuddled together and go through this together.

Sarah Milken  30:45

Yeah, and I do love the other definition of showing up in terms of like the synchronicity thing, like you were talking about what the surrender experiment because like, even for you, like you might get asked, or you might audition for some small role. And then like you said, you go, you're like, Oh, fuck it, I'm not gonna go to that. But you end up showing up and going to it, and then it turns into something else, or they create a different part for you that's even bigger. Right? And it's so important with self recreation. And for people like me and the listeners out there is sometimes things seem so small, like, why am I going to do a volunteer job, like, nobody's gonna care, but you go to that volunteer job, you go twice, and you realize that you can design a whole program for them. And it's sort of like the synchronicity of doors of just putting yourself out there. It's like throwing shit at a wall and seeing what sticks. I mean, that's not really a nice way of saying it, but it's true.

31:46

Yeah, that exactly, you're always so part of part of that is being okay with rejection. So with actors, for the odds are for 50 auditions, you will get one, right. So the good news about every audition that you're rejected from is getting, and I've always said this to myself, it's getting me closer to that one. So I need 49 notes. 49 Get the hell out of here. You're awful, you're terrible. We want someone else 49 of those, but you'll get that one sweet one. And that makes all the other 49. So delicious, and

Sarah Milken  32:19

yummy deal with those 49. Because, for me, I

32:23

can't do anything else. I love what I love what I do. And I've found ways I know now at this point being 49 years old, when I go in, I'm going to know most of the gals, and we're probably going to want to go out afterwards and get frozen yogurt, because now it's bottleneck when I was in my 20s it was so many people in La 30s people start to kind of, you know, drop off, go move back to Tennessee, and they have their kids and their families. But when you're 49 and just think how much fun it's gonna be when I'm 69 I'm doing all the great grandma stuff.

Sarah Milken  32:57

Yeah, you'd be on that porch.

32:59

I already got my part. See, I've got my I'm ready to audition for driving mistakes. Kevin's gonna be playing the guitar. Yeah, he's gonna play the guitar I've got I've got all my props. So sticking with it, knowing the people that are there. It's a blast. So we kind of let go whether one of us gets it or not, we know. It's kind of spinning the wheel. They're going to go with Melanie or Rachel or Cheryl, we don't know who they're going to go with that day. But it's the companionship, the sisterhood. And no one you are going to get your one eventually. And it's pretty exciting just to watch it pop just showing up again, showing up for your friends showing up for yourself showing up for auditions, and then letting the chips fall where they may. And you'll let it all make sense.

Sarah Milken  33:45

If you're talking to listeners or myself who are in this cell free creation process. More generally speaking, like not just for acting, but like what advice can you take from your acting sort of nose or rejections to give us to say, Okay, yeah, you're taking your first steps. You're listening to this podcast you are you're buying a specific book, you're going to the volunteer job you are researching doing a blog, what tips can you give for taking a step feeling some failure? Like how do you pull your ship back together and keep going?

34:23

Um, great question. I for my own life, I look for the green lights. Where is the flow going? And I think if anybody's wanting to recreate themselves today, I would say spend a week figuring out what do you do when you're not trying to earn money? You're not trying to be perfect. What is it that you like doing? Are you on the computer looking up chairs? Are you re perusing antiques? Are you looking at medical data? What do you do when money is off the table careers off the table because you're going to then get that essence of who you are and how you like that. To spend your days and from that I think a career can be born. So I look for myself, I look for the green lights and example that is in 2001. I was supposed to go to my grandfather's 19th birthday party in Nashville, at the same time of his 90th birthday party. It was going to be the night of October 16. All right. And I booked a TV pilot at night. I called my grandfather I said, I booked a TV pilot that shooting that night, that whole week, especially that night. That's still coming. I'm not going to take the job. I'm going to come to your birthday party. And he got on the phone with me and said, You went to Los Angeles to be an actress. We'll see what Christmas you need to skip my birthday party. I insist cancel the flight in LA do your work. And he was so adamant about it. Sarah, that night, I went and I canceled canceled it. I said okay, I'll see you at Christmas. I went to the set. And sitting next to me in the makeup chair was Kevin nealon. Ah.

35:59

And then the rest is

36:01

history. had I gone

36:05

to Nashville, I would never have met the man I was going to marry and gables daddy and had that whole juicy, wonderful relationship. But I ve listened to the to the green lights and just saying the universe was so clear. And he was so adamant. I will see what Christmas My dear. Take the job. Wow. And following that.

Sarah Milken  36:28

Did you get the job? Yeah. In that job and met Kevin? Yes.

36:34

Yeah. And I was just say the pilot didn't go, but I did.

Sarah Milken  36:38

So you got a husband? Yeah. q1 a funny one. A really cool one. Oh, that's funny. Yeah, I was gonna ask you like, but maybe I should wait till Kevin is finished with his like, yes, he should be at point.

36:53

Oh, we're gonna get him out of that. He's Yes, he's do now it's okay.

Sarah Milken  36:57

But I'll wait till he comes back to ask him how he meditates at the how he meditates.

37:03

By the way, Okay, wait, let me scoot him in. Yeah, sure. Okay, let's bring him Kevin. actually put on clothes and pant

Sarah Milken  37:09

good pants. The answer key.

37:12

Okay, here it comes. You know, you're coming. Okay. He's coming.

37:15

You're coming back. Okay.

37:19

Okay, I'll pull the chair

37:21

suisun

37:28

Sarah Milken?

Sarah Milken  37:32

How are you? Were you hiking?

37:34

I was actually hiking. I'm in the middle of a hike right now. All right.

37:37

Who's it with? This? Me?

Sarah Milken  37:40

I'm just you. It's just you. I want I was wondering if my son who's 16 could actually be the guy who walks backwards on your hikes. And films yo.

37:52

Well, you know, actually, there is no guy that walks backwards. That's I have a selfie stick with a camera.

Sarah Milken  37:56

Oh, cuz I was trying to think of a good job for him and COVID because it's outdoors. There's no germs, and he can walk backwards. He's 16 so if you ever need anyone, he

38:08

asked me that before Sarah. They said do you have somebody walking backwards? And if I did, they wouldn't last very long because the rocky trails and there's little cliffs and

Sarah Milken  38:17

stuff but if you're 16 you can do that shit. Can you also have some good drone footage? He flies drones? Yeah, he does. Yeah, we

38:27

can teach myself how to fly a drone.

Sarah Milken  38:29

Oh, bring cable over here. We have a couple of drones. Jake is like a master at it. We can we can get that one solved. Okay, so how was your shower? Good.

38:39

actually didn't take a shower. I was going to but I figured out my hike after this discussion. Oh,

Sarah Milken  38:46

you are in the rabbit hole of Instagram. Just kidding.

38:49

Uh, no, not really. But I do know that when I come into a program like this one. Susan, you've been chatting, I have to bring myself up to speed. It's like getting totally.

Sarah Milken  38:58

I know. Well, I got a whole interview for you. And then you missed the whole first half. So do you want me to go back in time? Okay, so we talked about how our intentions for this episode. Are you ready? Are you awake? We are trying to give the audience some golden nuggets of information on how to have a little levity in your life. How to come back from some failures because I'm sure as an actor, you go to something you get rejected. Then you somehow get on to Saturday Night Live for 200 years. Your hands and fronds and how do you like where do you go from there? Once you've hit it that big like so I'm trying to pull advice from you and Susan, for our listeners on how to recreate themselves in the second half of life. You got it?

39:52

Yeah, but I think before you recreate yourself you have to follow your passion. You know Going, follow what you enjoy doing.

Sarah Milken  40:03

That's what Susan just said. She said, you got to stop and think about what you do in your free time. Like, you know, you're an actor, you know, you're a musician. You know, you're a comedian. But some people like us moms who have been moms, we're not sure what we're good at. We're not sure what our passions are. So what do you say to someone like that, who's just figured I say,

40:25

I say, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I know what your passion is. Because that is so important. It is people that go to their jobs every day, and God bless them, they have to make money. And they may not like their job, but they're going and they're, you know, whatever they're doing. And then they come home and they they hate working. I love working. I love what I do. You know, I've gotten into painting lately sketching, and I just love that I spent all my time on that. And people can go to Kevin nealon artwork and see my work.

Sarah Milken  40:56

Your work is actually I have to tell you, your work is actually amazing, because I remember sitting at a school event with you. I think it was like back to school night for Marin and Gable. And I think you saw that I was bored out of my fucking mind. And you had a napkin, and you actually drew a little quick caricature of my face sort of looking bored. So I obviously wasn't concealing it that well. But the but the caricature was amazing.

41:24

Well, it'll full transparency every character to draw their report.

Sarah Milken  41:29

Well, at a school event, you're definitely going to look bored. And the other thing that you were so amazing at is I remember, we did like a field trip to the beach. I don't know if it was like, clean up the beach day or something. And I turn around and there's like this huge sand creation that looked like a professional had done it. And I was like, Who did that? And they were like, oh, Kevin nealon did that. And it was like an amazing mermaid. How did you learn how to do that?

41:56

You know, I've always loved sculpturing whether it's been with clay or sand, you know, I spent a lot of time at the beach. And I just love my go to thing as a shark eating a kid, you know, the leg in the mouth, reaches my head. Yes. And in fact, yesterday, just yesterday, I went on Amazon and I already beat shovel. So I could like dig and make a pile of sand a lot easier than using my hands

Sarah Milken  42:23

is a beach shovel different because it's like stronger and goes in deeper into the sand.

42:28

Oh, it's just, it's just shorter and easier to carry. Now,

Sarah Milken  42:34

I have to tell you that that definitely was phenomenal. Okay, now going back to this idea of having little small failures and being able to develop the grit muscle to kind of go back in again, for whatever your passion is, or whatever. Like for me, it's self recreation, developing this podcast trying to help other women like myself, figure it out in the second half of life. Do you have any pieces of advice for taking small steps, having a few detours or obstacles, but then getting back up again?

43:10

Well, sometimes Emily would think it's small steps. Sarah, you know, when I turned 60, I had an awakening. I thought to myself, I've you know, all my life, I've been rehearsing and scheming about things I want to do. And I did a lot of those things. But then I got to a point where I wanted to face my fears, you know, what was scaring me in life. And, for me, it was doing two different shows, you know, that I avoided for a long time, because I was just afraid of the hosts. And I was afraid that I wouldn't do well on there. One was the Howard Stern Show. And the other one was Bill Maher real time, because I wasn't, you know, a political pundit or anything, but I liked both shows. And I thought it would be challenging a lot. So I put myself on both of those shows. I was terrified. And I did so well on both of those shows. And I went back several times. And I just loved it. So I was really proud of myself for putting myself in an uncomfortable position to grow. And important because

Sarah Milken  44:08

sometimes it's that courage just getting, you can be a confident this is what I've learned from even the experience with this podcast, is you can be a confident person, like I'm a confident person in my life. But there's a difference between confidence and courage, how you can be confident but not be courageous enough to step into the fear. Yeah,

44:29

yeah, that's for sure. I mean, and when you step into it, there's nothing like it. I mean, I was floating after each one of those shows the first time. It's like, I've never been that challenged before. And I'm taking a risk with being courageous like that. And it really felt good. And I thought, did

Sarah Milken  44:47

you do it? Like, do you have advice for us? Like how did you just step the fuck into it and just get through it.

44:53

You have to trust it. You have to trust yourself and believe in yourself and even if you don't throw yourself into it. I mean, um, you know, I remember I went through a bout of claustrophobia when I was on Saturday Night Live, and it was debilitating. I mean, I couldn't go places I you know, I would I was afraid to go through the tunnels leaving New York City in case there was traffic, you know,

Sarah Milken  45:18

figure out what caused that late onset of claustrophobia.

45:23

I know what triggered it. I don't know what caused it. I was I was in a makeup chair, I had to play Jay Leno. And they had to make a prosthetic mask of plaster. So you can build a chin, yes, over your whole face with plaster except for your nostrils. And then it hardens and it gets hot. And I didn't know I would react like this, because my hands are under plastic, and I passed out. And so I had them do it again, this time with my hands outside the plastic and the radio up loud. So I had my senses. You know, I almost passed out again, but I got through it. And yeah, and when I played Jay well, that week was pretty good. But from that from afterwards, from From then on, like a couple weeks later, I got stuck on the subway between stops, and I started getting a feeling. And it just started snowballing. And every you know, and then it got to a point where I was afraid to get on elevators. I was had to avoid everything. And then I went to see a therapist in the valley in Los Angeles. Oddly enough, his name was doctor doctor, he was a phobia.

Sarah Milken  46:23

Doctor, Doctor, okay,

46:25

yeah. And

Sarah Milken  46:26

practice if anyone needs him.

46:28

This has been a long time ago. But long story short, I started confronting my fears, you know, and I started getting on elevators and I started getting on airplanes and started doing things that scared me. as terrifying as it was, I did it and I overcome, I overcame my posture, and I'm no longer you know, I can get an elevator now and can be stuck for an hour on, you know, between floors on the fire.

Sarah Milken  46:50

You know, I have weird claustrophobia issues, too. But mine are different. It's more like, like I don't like pantyhose for the sit or like like super tight tights, because it's that same feeling of like the Jay Leno mask. And I don't like body lotion during the day because I feel like I'm suffocating. Isn't that weird?

47:09

It's not weird. It's not weird at all. I remember there was times when I was on Saturday Night Live where I had to wear maybe three or four layers of clothes like a hybrid outfit, and I was getting that same feeling. I said I got it. I can't I can get this off. I gotta get this off. I know.

Sarah Milken  47:26

Yeah, being with all that shit on Oh my God, I want to die and especially like with menopause hormones. I'm like, Oh my god, get these hairs off of me.

47:35

Yeah, that's gotta be the worst.

Sarah Milken  47:37

Oh, my God. Well, Susan currently to that where she. Susan come back

47:42

isn't stuck in an elevator.

Sarah Milken  47:44

No, she. No, she's not

47:47

getting it off. Susan.

47:49

is Susan rollerskating.

47:51

Yeah. Hey, Kevin. I

Sarah Milken  47:54

want to know how are you in charge of filming all the roller skating on the beach that's happening.

48:00

I am Susan's Instagram boyfriend.

48:02

He's my IB.

Sarah Milken  48:03

I mean, that's really nice of you. I mean, I will be honest, Jeremy does help me record this and then he goes off to work. Just because I know that I'm gonna like screw up the process somehow. But if I had to have him shoot film of me that would not work.

48:18

Jeremy is your therapist.

Sarah Milken  48:20

Yeah, yes. He's my therapist. husband, who loves school events. Right. Susan?

48:26

disappeared.

48:27

He loves school.

48:31

Oh my gosh,

48:32

would you say does anybody love school?

Sarah Milken  48:34

Oh my god, but and now it's like, even worse. I feel like it could be worse on zoom. How do you feel Kevin?

48:41

Um, actually, I don't mind it on zoom. You just skip

48:43

it?

48:45

Yeah, you could? Well, no, you could be on zoom. But you could be doing other things. You know,

Sarah Milken  48:50

I know. But I'm such a nerd. I sort of feel like if I'm not on camera, like I'm being disrespectful.

48:56

Well, you've always been that way. I think you've always been so proper. I know you're on the school events, but you're always there. You're very

Sarah Milken  49:05

Ah, oh god, it gets tiring. Sometimes though. I'm happy to do it. But it definitely gets tiring. Um, I want to talk to you guys about multiple selves, because I feel like in the second half of life like 40 Plus, we sort of have this multiple cell thing going on. And it sort of is analogous to your multiple cells in your acting. So it's like your mom, your dad, you're a comedian, you're an actor, your friend your this. So how do you get how would you connect sort of the multiple selves ness to us wanting to create other multiple selves like me starting this podcast or trying to create another self for myself?

49:49

I think you're nuts. You're skitter phrenic.

Sarah Milken  49:55

But I'm not a good hiker. I wish I could just hike and find myself.

50:00

I can do an elevator right? Oh, yeah.

Sarah Milken  50:02

God with pantyhose on,

50:04

you know, you're talking about the self thing. It's kind of like it's almost like a variation of multitasking. And Susan who just disappeared though

50:10

she had another green screen is,

Sarah Milken  50:13

yeah, green screens making you disappear and nobody can see you but I'll just talk at you

50:23

know, figure this out one day, I'm gonna get into the rocking chair over here.

Sarah Milken  50:27

No problem. But can you go back to multiple?

50:32

You want me to go and get off of this?

50:34

Oh, I like to keep it Yeah,

50:36

because otherwise,

50:38

let's talk about multiple cells, not multiple organs almost like,

Sarah Milken  50:41

yes, Susan's trying to keep you like on task I told you I needed to lay out. I laid out the intentions at the beginning of this episode, Kevin, because I knew the cow conversation was gonna go haywire. So everyone knows what we're trying to stick to keeping the order. But since you are doing something else, you don't know what that intention is. So Susan's?

51:05

How do we so I guess the question is, how do we juggle the different parts of ourselves? Yes.

51:14

First of all, you are referring to multi cells? Yes. Which is in the same family as multitasking? Yes. And this one here is not a good

51:24

one child Sara. I don't multitask very well. You have competing sounds in the room. So if I'm in the car, the radios on and people in the backseat are having conversation. I can't handle competing sounds. It's a sensory thing for me. So one child, one radio station on.

51:42

So I want to figure out a time

Sarah Milken  51:44

why I'm good with that. As long as it's one. I mean, cuz none of us had HPV vaccines were too old for that.

51:53

That's right. Is it too late? Can we do that? No, I

Sarah Milken  51:55

feel like you and I might have like, just gone above the threshold I think you're for Yeah, I'm 45. And I feel like 44 or 45 might be the cutoff. But we could check into that. If you want to have an affair.

52:09

I just want to say thank you for always saying we in this age game because you are you know, a lot younger than me. So that's nice.

Sarah Milken  52:17

I want to look like you. I'm five years older. So I feel like if I manifest that and put it out in the world that maybe

52:25

you guys look amazing, I must say amazing. Not even from your 40s but just in general. Beautiful, beautiful. I mean,

52:34

I remember when I first saw Sarah, she was crossing the road in Brentwood. And it looked like and I stood out to me because you look like you had been in as a as a to do movie. It was so cool. You had on glossy leggings that were so cool. And yes,

52:55

it was. I wore that every day. I love

52:57

that and you had cool sneakers on and I remember you walking in front of me. Woman is at Fox she's got it nailed. She doesn't care what people think. Awesome. way I'm gonna in a good way was so stylish and interesting and unforgettable.

Sarah Milken  53:13

Oh my god. It's funny because my my kids actually I think deep down. They think it's cool that I'm sort of stylish dresser. But it's like cringy at the same time. Like Marin, you know, Marin, she was like, Mom, I understand. Can't you just wear black Lululemon leggings? Like why do you have to wear leopard print or snap skin? And then I show up a carpool and all her friends are like cool legging. Sara and Mary. Dying like I know.

53:47

Her so smart. Everybody

53:48

loves math.

Sarah Milken  53:51

Oh, she's like the UN ambassador.

53:54

Yes. She's the town mayor.

Sarah Milken  53:55

Totally. Yeah, I mean, I mean, I hate to toot my own horn, but I'll take it a little negative is my husband's always like good luck to you, you fucking birth yourself. Because she's like totally telling me what to do. She's texting me and confirming things. And Jeremy's like, Where do you think she got that from Sarah? Like, you birthed yourself the supervisor. I'm like, Okay. Okay. Oh my god. Okay, wait, I want to talk about a few funny things with you guys.

54:25

I thought about this. Well, what about going back

Sarah Milken  54:28

to you? Oh, good. You're keeping us on track. Okay. We got off track because you were talking about how you don't multitask. Well, no, I

54:36

don't multitask. But Kevin does. So you could talk about that. I know. Interesting.

Sarah Milken  54:40

Because women usually multitask better.

54:44

No. I have this thing where I'm, I'm very comfortable saying it's not my cup of tea. God, I just, you know, one husband, one child, one job. I just can't do a whole bunch of things. And that's good. Yeah, I own that. I'm not. I think there's a lot of this thing. I'm especially where we live Sarah people being exhausted, exhausted as a status symbol.

55:11

Yes. You

55:11

know where I'm so exhausted. so exhausted. I thought, wouldn't it be interesting just to say, No, I'm not exhausted.

Sarah Milken  55:18

Yes. And you're, you're also a meditator.

55:21

I meditate. But just to say, No, I'm not exhausted. I've actually designed my life to be exhausted.

Sarah Milken  55:28

Unless you're on a movie set, maybe,

55:31

but then that's a good exhaustion. Right?

Sarah Milken  55:32

Yeah, it's for sure. an exhilarating one. And that's kind of how I feel about this podcast. People are like, aren't you like dying, working 15 hour days and interviewing and all this stuff? And I'm like, Yeah, but it's kind of energizing at the same time.

55:45

I love this podcast. I mean, I grew up watching you

55:48

watching Sara's podcast. But you are

Sarah Milken  55:51

for Kevin could go back to your go back to your working cells, multiple cells thing your schizophrenia.

55:57

Well, I am a multitasker. And I have a lot of cells that do different things. You know, I do stand up acting, I'm writing. Um, you know, producing and directing now. And I'm always looking to recruit, you know, to reinvent myself like I did the hiking show. You love it.

Sarah Milken  56:15

It's so funny.

56:16

Thank you. And I'm doing like I said, I'm painting now and doing caricature work, which I've always wanted to do. And just last night, I had up on my screen, it's still here behind this window is salsa dancing, because they will learn how to salsa dance. So

Sarah Milken  56:32

you're so tall. How do you like get caught? How are you coordinated enough to do that? That's

56:37

my role until a couple years.

Sarah Milken  56:40

I was late onset puberty.

56:43

I did actually. But it was in high school. It was like I didn't grow till after high school. I was 581 hundred 80 pounds when I graduate. Yeah. And then I just shot up. I went back to my high school reunion. Nobody recognized me.

Sarah Milken  56:57

Is that a true story?

56:59

No, but I did go to the wrong high school reunion. That's why but but so I'm really big into multitasking cells. I could I like to do a lot of things at once. And I could focus although lately I've been I've been a little bad at turning off the stove.

57:13

Right? Give me a pilot. Because he can he can manage he can he can do all that stuff. Right? A lot of things at once.

Sarah Milken  57:23

So you must be a good compartmentalize are. Yeah. Because you have to really have that kind of skill to be able to do

57:31

yes, I am really good at that I'm good at. I could also, you know, be in a restaurant and I could hear a song very faintly, I'm a speaker. I know exactly what it is because I love music. I know who the artist is. I could listen to that and also hear a conversation. You know, and I could hear two conversations at once and kind of understand them both. So I'm kind of good at that. But maybe as I get older I need to focus more on one thing.

Sarah Milken  57:59

Yeah, but what kind of advice do you have for people? I feel like creative people have tons of hobbies and talents like even your kid does it's so weird like youtuber like creative infernos and like Gable, his head does all the voices and he you know, I just how does that happen?

58:21

I think it's from him being around us all the time. Of course, you know, yeah. You know, you're influenced by your parents, obviously, you're on the ball.

Sarah Milken  58:30

Or you run for the hills.

58:32

Right. I think he growing up there's always music. There's a whole wall here guitars and banjos and ukuleles. So in our house there's always music going so we're playing an instrument roller skating through the house I encourage any anything we were told not to do as kids I like to do I like to sit on the countertops I believe do show we should skate in the house. I don't have

Sarah Milken  58:52

our dogs are allowed on the sofa as my hat's off to them this podcast before my kids were allowed to paint and make messes and make naked brownies. You know what I mean? It's like actually rolled covered in fudge brownie. I mean, I don't know You Only Live Once your floss can always be redone.

59:11

That's right. And so I kind of would give him the ability to do that. As long as he sends a thank you note. I'm really big on the old school manners. like yeah, we talked about circling back to that.

59:21

But I'm sure you know what I just started doing yesterday on a hike. I had to stop and go to my notes which I use a lot of my phone my notes to write things because I forgot.

Sarah Milken  59:31

Right Me too.

59:33

I'm writing

Sarah Milken  59:33

to put glasses on to read the notes.

59:35

I don't

59:37

know I have them. I have them now for some things, but I haven't needed those until like two years ago. Wow. What I'm writing a letter to my son for when I'm not around someday.

Sarah Milken  59:50

Because you're 18 years older than Susan.

59:53

I'm running away to her to

59:54

yeah

59:57

17 letters,

59:58

I have to keep letter to her.

Sarah Milken  1:00:00

Okay, good. Um,

1:00:02

so I'm just telling him what I think is important in life. And, you know, some advice to him as far as relationships, you know, meeting the right women or partner. Um,

1:00:12

what do you say about that?

Sarah Milken  1:00:13

Yeah. Can you give us some of those nuggets? Because I feel like I want to hear them.

1:00:17

Well, there's a lot of them. There's a

Sarah Milken  1:00:19

lot of pick your favorite three. Yeah, the ones you remember. Because you're so old, you know?

1:00:26

Where you again?

1:00:29

era Belkin

1:00:31

flexible, neurotic.

1:00:34

Um, you know, it's always kind of the things that I was taught, like, you know, when you go out, you know, when you go out with someone, see how they treat the server? Yeah. at the table, or they dinner? You know, do they have patience? Do they have a sense of humor? You know, and are they you want to make sure they're just not somebody that's really attractive? Because you'll get used to that eventually, you know? Right. And

Sarah Milken  1:01:03

I'm not used to Susan now. I mean, look at her. I'll

1:01:05

never use her beauty because she is just

1:01:08

done talking roller skater.

1:01:10

Every morning. I wake up I go, who is that? Oh, Susan.

Sarah Milken  1:01:14

She's bringing you breakfast and rollerskates

1:01:17

and then also you know, I have I haven't finished but I just started on the trail the other day, but the other one is about finances you know about learn how to balance a checkbook, you know, save money, save money, get long term insurance when you're young, so it's not expensive. And then you know, driving i think i think relationships and driving are the two most important things that I want to teach them you know, drive defensively you know, never trust a traffic light and just suggestions. Always look for your escape route. You know, don't drive with people that drink I've lost several friends growing up there were drunk driving.

Sarah Milken  1:01:48

My son just got his driver's license. Oh, yeah. Haha.

1:01:53

My son just got a DUI.

Sarah Milken  1:01:54

No, no, no, no, no, I would collapse I think No, but I I try not to scare him. But I do tell him stories of things that happen like a woman who got a DUI a couple weeks ago and ran over two kids. Yes, I heard about that. Yeah. And there was a dad from our school who was crossing the street on PCH a couple weeks ago to meet his wife for dinner and he got run over by Mini Cooper hit and run. And I don't tell him these stories to like really scare him. But I feel like he's a very sensitive kid. So he sort of filed it in his brain is like okay, no to self like these. Yeah, do happen. And my mom's not full of shit.

1:02:36

Man, if a mini cooper hit me it would be totaled.

1:02:39

Yeah, it would bounce right off of Kevin.

Sarah Milken  1:02:43

Totally. I know. But yes, I do. I love those little nuggets of information. So when you're done with that letter, can you send it over so I can send it to my kids?

1:02:53

It's actually gonna be a sealed letter that he will open up until I'm gone. Oh, that's so hard until he when he gets his driver's license.

Sarah Milken  1:03:02

That's so uplifting Kevin

1:03:04

was hearing about the school Have you heard about this? This might be a great thing up it's catastrophic driving school where they take you to snow to hills to the storms they put you in the situation. It's our 16 year olds to learn how to drive in the worst conditions possible.

Sarah Milken  1:03:22

I'm gonna have to look that up. Read it.

1:03:24

Yeah, so we have we have a friend I think that is part of it. But it's some kind of driving school that that just immerse immerses emergent emergent. immerses. My coffee edge immerses you into really difficult.

Sarah Milken  1:03:40

I love that. Okay. Yeah, I'm gonna have to look that one up. Yeah.

1:03:44

I also think that it's important that everybody goes to like when they're getting a license to a demolition derby where you could smack into another car to see what it feels like. Yeah, you don't get so panicked when you're in an accident, you know, because I've been at fender benders before we get out of the car, and I'll go Okay, you know,

Sarah Milken  1:04:02

biker hit me. Oh, like, the car in front of me stop short. So I stopped short. And then a biker went into my bumper,

1:04:11

motorcycle cyclist, a cyclist

Sarah Milken  1:04:13

on Wilshire Boulevard. And of course, we're in front of St. John's hospital. And I'm taking Marin to a doctor's appointment that took me like months to get and I'm like, I'm really sorry that you injured yourself. Like, here's my information. And there was a guy on the street who worked at the hospital who took this guy into the hospital obviously, I circled back with him and all of that, but I was like, how did a biker hit me?

1:04:38

Who was who was sponsoring the cyclist because they own snap those Oh, that's on there, you know, like me, and he was sponsoring

Sarah Milken  1:04:45

himself, but I was I mean, he was fine. He just had like a bloody lip or something. But still, I was like, only this could happen to me right now when I'm trying to get to a doctor's appointment for my daughter. I mean, thankfully it was okay. But I was like, Oh my god, but um Before we weren't run out of time, I want to ask you guys about your wedding in Italy because it's a hilarious story.

1:05:06

Yeah, that was that was fun. So we decided to go to Italy. We did all the paperwork in Los Angeles at the Italian consulate and the American consulate, right? We did it on Wilshire Boulevard. So it's all legal. We went to Lake Como, and we paid people 20 euros each beer witnesses but have no family, no friends, nothing. And the whole time we had anti anxiety medicine and this tuxedo and in my ballgown, I went down so that if we freaked out, we could take our anxiety medicine and just call it a fun date in Italy. And so we didn't have any expectation if we were going to do it. It was pretty loosey goosey. Like, well, let's let's get married have a wedding dress or but if you're not into it, we don't have to do it.

1:05:50

Okay.

1:05:51

But you know, Sarah was, you know, we didn't know that eight weeks before we went there. Matt Damon went there to look for three search, places to get married. And so when they heard an American celebrity was coming to get married there, they assumed it was Matt Damon. So we're inside of the we're getting married by the time Mayor wherever it was. Yeah. All in Italian outside. I look at around the Piazza or all these Papa Razzies for me, I think what is going on here. This is they're confused.

Sarah Milken  1:06:23

On Saturday live, Kevin. Yeah.

1:06:25

But, you know, it doesn't work that many top Razzies. And then I come out and we realized that they thought I was Matt Damon coming and so I had to tell him, I'm not Matt Damon. Damon.

Sarah Milken  1:06:37

I'm eight feet taller than Matt Damon.

1:06:41

And they followed us all the way back to the hotel, taking pictures. And then the next morning we're sitting by the lake in a cafe and this guy next to us reading the paper and the front page is a picture of us. And the caption above it is not at Matt Damon.

1:06:57

Matt Damon, but the picture of us.

Sarah Milken  1:06:59

So we Kevin, how did you get up from that feeling? The next day? I'm just kidding. of the almost Matt Damon but not really Matt Damon. But so you guys got married people thought you were Matt Damon. And then three years later, you had a kid?

1:07:14

Yes. Two years later,

1:07:16

two years later?

1:07:17

Yeah. Two years. We're married in 2005. And Gabe was born in seven.

1:07:22

And he looked exactly like Matt Damon.

Sarah Milken  1:07:24

Oh, perfect. And Kevin, you were 100 when he was born 100. And I was 81. Okay, good. So how did that work out? So I heard Kevin was obsessed with the baby nurse situation, because it would have been way too hard for him to actually nurse.

1:07:39

Yeah, nurses, the best investment we ever made. And I always give that advice to people. If you have to take out a loan, do it, get a bit, get a Night Nurse the same so much. And you'll be so much happier and the baby will be happier. Everybody will be happier.

Sarah Milken  1:07:55

It would have been way too much for you to have to get up right.

1:07:59

Now. I mean, we all do it

Sarah Milken  1:08:00

like once or twice. It's was

1:08:02

breastfeeding at the beginning. breastfeeding. Yeah. Kevin. breastfeeding. Amen. Yeah.

Sarah Milken  1:08:09

I just felt like that surge of hormones, Kevin.

1:08:13

Yeah, yeah. Well, I mean,

Sarah Milken  1:08:16

your wife was psycho, I'm sure. Like, I was like every little thing bugged her.

1:08:21

Well, I will tell you that when she was pregnant, I came home once and I opened up a magazine on the kitchen table and there was several pages missing. Yeah, and I said what happened to these pages here? And she finally admitted that it was an article about pregnant women being the most murdered demographic women threw it away personally in the garbage so she thought I might get an idea I did.

1:08:45

I really kill me. So I got all I took the rip the pages out and put them in the dumpster up

Sarah Milken  1:08:51

that would have been okay if the Night Nurse Aide.

1:08:57

I am sure that I did not need an article to give me that idea.

Sarah Milken  1:09:03

But Susan, you said that being a mom was the hardest job you've ever loved

1:09:07

his parents job. Yeah.

Sarah Milken  1:09:10

seems so easy.

1:09:13

But it has to be fed and watch. Yes.

1:09:17

I feel like an awkward It is like having this funny, sweet roommate who just doesn't pay rent. Now what is a 13 and a half year old it is he is adorable and sweet. And I will miss them. Let's go. Oh,

Sarah Milken  1:09:31

wait until like real real puberty kicks in then they get a little edgier?

1:09:35

They do. Okay.

Sarah Milken  1:09:36

Yeah. I mean, not terribly and boys are just easier than girls. They have different needs. It's like as long as they can like order Postmates Yeah, play video games. It's like Marin's a little more complicated. She's

1:09:47

good. But she's she's a chef now. Right? Yeah, she's

Sarah Milken  1:09:50

like a chef. She learned how to cook and COVID because you know what they do is they pick the one thing that you're shitty at and become an expert at it. That's like cooking is like my nemesis. So she became a master at it. So like last night she wasn't home. So Jeremy and I had sear I had cereal. He had toast

1:10:12

me. You're a therapist.

Sarah Milken  1:10:13

Yeah. Me, My therapist, my podcast editor. You know, he's everything. School lover.

1:10:20

Either way, Sarah, I'm just looking at your screen here. And this pink microphone. Yeah. Don't you love it? Great place to average for your sponsors to put their little ads and right there.

Sarah Milken  1:10:30

Oh, it's so cute, isn't it? Yeah. Nine on Amazon. I love it. Very it kind of goes with the roller skates Susan.

1:10:38

It does.

Sarah Milken  1:10:38

Okay, so how did you manage the work career parenting? All of that stuff? And yes, freezing that

1:10:45

thing.

1:10:46

Yeah,

Sarah Milken  1:10:47

I haven't touched it before. Baby. Oh, totally. Wait, do you guys hear the episode on the vagina makeover? Kevin, you have to listen to that. You'll love it.

1:10:58

I can only imagine what it's about.

Sarah Milken  1:10:59

It's so good. The Vagina whisperer gets into the whole vagina makeover on like all the exercises. You have to do all the coconut oil. I mean, it goes deep. Do we have to do that? Yeah. Because if you use it or lose it or your vagina becomes this like dry old decrepit crap ball.

1:11:18

But if you're having sex, that's enough, right? You don't need it. But you're just supposed

Sarah Milken  1:11:22

to like you're supposed to do the Cagle exercises every day. Oh, post to moisturize like the outer layer with this extra virgin coconut oil bathe in it three times a week for 20 minutes. I mean, there's all these rules, but you'll get all of them episode Kevin can take notes and tutor you. Okay. Yeah,

1:11:44

I look forward to not doing that.

Sarah Milken  1:11:45

I know. It's like use it or lose it. But obviously you use yours a lot. So you'll be

1:11:50

fine. episode on the vs.

Sarah Milken  1:11:52

Not Yeah, Jeremy's working on that. Actually. We're doing it again. therapist. Yes, my sex therapist deep dive like he's just recovering from this fucking podcast. That's what he's doing right now. He's actually still recovering from the vagina makeover posh. He's wondering if his parents will ever speak to me again. No, I'm just kidding. Um, okay, so wait, how did you guys balance it all. It's like two actors a baby, like had that workout? Well, those

1:12:25

guys got the best job that that we lean into that. So if Kevin was on weeds when Gable was born, so we make sure you know, that was the job priority. And I kind of stayed back and did little small things here and there local acting jobs. So we kind of shift and move and then I had I tested for something that was going to be shot in New York. And so Kevin, I had one of those conversations where we say, what do you think about moving to New York? And he said, Absolutely, I'll go so we just kind of take it job by job as a team, and assess what's best for both of us. And then hopefully, we're always in the same city. We prefer that to be together. There was one time where I got a TV show in Savannah, Georgia, and he got to show in New York and gables in LA. So luckily, Rosie dilorenzo to the rescue. Oh, wait, Mama Fred. Mama friend stepped in and she said let me take that gamble. So she took cable and I was able to go to Savannah and Kevin went to New York. So we we rely on our friendships we just have again, telling the truth, the honest style, and we make it work.

Sarah Milken  1:13:32

Amazing. And I know that you guys kind of going back into the parenting thing for a second. Um, I know you guys love jobs, like little jobs like growing up, Susan. I heard that you loved working at Little Caesars.

1:13:47

Oh, I had every fight with this man. And you're like,

Sarah Milken  1:13:51

add over here. Kevin. Yes. My God, how are you? multitasker? You're like flipping a baton around in physical therapy right now. I mean, honestly, you need it because you're 100 Oh,

1:14:07

wow. Your shoulder replaced? Really? Yeah.

Sarah Milken  1:14:13

Okay, let's go back to your little caesars jobs.

1:14:15

Okay, so I've worked at Little Caesars pizza. I've worked at as good as it gets frozen yogurt. I've worked at the Benetton store folding sweater. Every job are you laughing Kevin

1:14:25

because you're looking at me like I'm a little kid in the car. That's misbehaviors you are

1:14:33

you're trying to focus on Susan but then you're like this like

Sarah Milken  1:14:37

I'm watching a baton almost hit Susan in the forehead. While she's telling me about how she worked a little caesars. With my pink microphone. There's so many things. Okay, so little caesars Bannatyne.

1:14:53

Yes. I love your job.

Sarah Milken  1:14:54

And you're a bartender, Kevin. We're

1:14:56

Yeah.

1:14:58

We've done every job. He scraped a battery step off of batteries. Would you scrape off? I was at department store Santa

1:15:05

Claus for two months. No way.

1:15:07

He doesn't even look like sin

1:15:09

phobic.

1:15:10

I was 23 at the time 24 in San Diego, I just moved to California and it was a manpower job, a temporary job. And all the kids would come over and they didn't speak English. And they were not you know, clean as kids. They You know, they're kind of, you know, and they would they would get be so scared they would pee on my lap.

Sarah Milken  1:15:29

Oh, good. And that must have been good with your claustrophobia to be before. That was when you were 20 before you were at war. Got it. Got it. Got it.

1:15:40

With the urine. You got the roll off of my pants because the company knew that would happen. So they Scott heard it all the pants.

Sarah Milken  1:15:46

Oh, that must have been nice and sweaty for you.

1:15:48

I think it was common for kids to pee on Santa Claus. So yeah, it would just rip off big rolls of it off of his.

Sarah Milken  1:15:54

I would never even think of that. That's so scary. But sure. What

1:15:57

would you like for Christmas?

Sarah Milken  1:15:59

Oh my god. Oh, you had the you had the beard too. Or the beard is sort of like the mask now. I feel like I'm like trying to avoid mask me with that mask.

1:16:09

It was the worst. I was the worst looking Santa. I looked like I was 24 is a cotton beard. It was the worst customers for Sears in North Park. And it was just for taking photos. You know, but you're

Sarah Milken  1:16:21

like tall and thin. You don't even have the body for Santa.

1:16:24

I know I got that job. But yeah.

Sarah Milken  1:16:28

But I I kind of liked that story about the job, Susan, because I was a job person to love jobs. And when I was in high school, I worked at the guest store at the pavilion. Yeah. I mean, there was

1:16:45

Yes.

Sarah Milken  1:16:48

Work, make money, then buy the guest jeans. You know the ones that have like the little zippers on the bottom? I do. I worked at chinchin as a hostess in Brownwood. I worked at the Nancy Heller store in Beverly Hills folding shirts like perfectly I still don't even know how to do it. But I love that all of those little experiences through high school, and I will make my children work too because I felt Oh yeah,

1:17:15

I bet.

Sarah Milken  1:17:17

It's hard like my 16 year old got out of it this summer. So I made him do summer school. Because I felt like okay with COVID I might want to keep him home and nothing was open anyway. But everybody's working.

1:17:28

Yeah, that's that's gables 13 and a half. I said start looking at me. I don't know what the ages here. I mean, I started working with eight or nine as an actor. You know

Sarah Milken  1:17:39

why you miss this part? I asked Kevin, if Jay could intern for him and walk backwards on the hike. Oh, he does. I know. But if he ever wants to need a break, I have Okay. Good to know.

1:17:50

Yeah. And it's awesome.

1:17:52

If I draw that's more important.

Sarah Milken  1:17:53

Yeah. In the drone, the drone thing we've got covered. I told Kevin that Jake is a drone expert. So we've got that covered. He could teach gait Gable how to do that, too. Now I know like how I am now versus how I was 20 years ago. It's obviously different. I mean, you get older you accept your shit. And I know that like you've had a lot of cluster Fox in your life, Susan, like hit by a drunk driver. to emergency plane landings, you get like a whole thing. Yeah. How do you view things now versus how you did 20 years ago?

1:18:30

Um, great question. I feel because I've been on the Break and Walk the edge and have been close to death with the mergency plane landings and being t boned by a drunk driver. Ah, all the other things. I've I am free are now because I'm not. It's not I don't have fear

Sarah Milken  1:18:50

as much and married to Kevin so

1:18:52

Well, hello. Yeah,

Sarah Milken  1:18:54

talk about resilience. Yeah.

1:18:58

So I just feel from 20 years ago, I'm free in a way and more myself. Yeah, I've surrendered to life I'm trusting the process of trusting there's a higher being a higher power taking care of me and, and just trusting that flow.

Sarah Milken  1:19:14

And what about you, Kevin? How are you different than you were when you were at?

1:19:20

Well, when I was at, I was much more limber. flexible.

Sarah Milken  1:19:25

Yeah. Flexible, neurotic.

1:19:28

I, you know, I am I, to a certain extent, I have also surrendered. And I don't take things as serious anymore. You know, um,

Sarah Milken  1:19:38

I think it's because you've had so many successes in your life successes in the areas that you've wanted to be successful. So you've like you lived it, you've done it, you've done it. You've Yeah, boxes.

1:19:51

That's totally true. I mean, you know, there's a lot of people that are dying to get on Saturday Night Live. Yes. And I've already done that. And so like, that doesn't interest me at all. You know, I think what you know that's preoccupying all their headspace is getting on that.

Sarah Milken  1:20:06

But didn't it preoccupy yours at that point? No.

1:20:10

never even dreamed of being on that show. I was a stand up. I wasn't a sketch player. I just wanted to be on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson. Yeah. And stand up. The SL SNL came along unexpectedly out of nowhere. And I just rose to the occasion, and you know, learn how to do characters and audition for it. I mean, you know, talk about doing things that you're kind of nervous about. You just go flying to New York to do an audition for SNL, that studio at age 30 rock. I mean, I never thought I'd get it. So I wasn't that nervous. So it was more like a free trip to New York for me. Right. But, um, but yeah, so um, like I said before, I think now it's, now is the time to do things instead of talking about them. Yes, you know, and just put it out there. And what's the worst that can happen? You fail? So what?

Sarah Milken  1:21:00

So what? That's in my letter to my son, too, by the way, that I feel like that's the whole point of this podcast in general. It's like, Okay, I'm 45 years old. I've been a mom. I said before, like I had, I got my PhD. 10,000 years ago, I decided to just be a mom, stay home, do that thing. And now I'm like, Okay, I'm 45 What the fuck, now I got it, I got to do something that's like, for me, that's creative in some way, that taps into my passions. And that's what this podcast is about. So what your what you just said in terms of living out your passion is so important.

1:21:42

I think you're at that precarious stage in your life to where your kids are getting older, and you're getting your life back. You're getting your life. And what am I all about? Now? What do I want to do for me?

Sarah Milken  1:21:54

When I say to them, when they're like, where are you? What are you doing? You're like locked in a room for 15 hours. I'm like, it's my fucking turn. And they just, they kind of just laugh, but it's true. It's like, I've been managing your shit for 16 years. Like, it's my turn. And then my son was like, why did you put me on Instagram? I'm like, because you're my kid. And I'm a real person with a real podcast with a personality. And I need to show that my children do exist that I'm not making them up. I didn't make you talk in it. I just showed you maybe getting a haircut or something.

1:22:32

Cable hates being on my God.

1:22:35

Yeah. He said he just wants to be on Billboard's Sunday. He said, I just put me on billboards.

Sarah Milken  1:22:40

I told my kids I'm like, if you show up on stories three times a month, are you gonna die? No, move on. You

1:22:47

should open up a tick tock account. Maybe

Sarah Milken  1:22:49

they Well, the best part is you missed this, Kevin, but I've been trying to do rails and tech talks for this podcast, but I'm making my kids help me. It's like, it's like their worst nightmare. It's like not only do I have to help her, she's annoying. She can't memorize the lines and it takes forever. But, but I'm like, you know what, it's my turn. So anyway, Susan,

1:23:17

I like the title. It's my turn.

Sarah Milken  1:23:20

It is my turn. But it's my fucking turn.

1:23:23

There it is. That's the

Sarah Milken  1:23:25

it's my fucking turn. In my fucking turn. It's sort of like when my husband used to say, supervise yourself, Sara. Right. So when I was on the phone with a friend her, she heard it repeated to her husband. Then her husband sent us t shirts that he had made that say, supervise yourself. It's like, I fucking turn there are certain mantras in your life. That's real good. Yeah, as a flexible neurotic, it's my fucking turn. supervise yourself. Like these are the recurring themes. That's really good when you're over 40 Yeah, right. And speaking of over 40 How do you keep your shit together Susan? Like in terms of like aging and fitness we'll get to you Kevin because you look hot. But

1:24:09

what Okay, so what what what do I do I do. I would say meditation is my key. That would be my anchor is doing it. What

Sarah Milken  1:24:18

do you do to meditate?

1:24:19

I do. I practice tm. So I got a tm Coach 10 years ago.

Sarah Milken  1:24:24

intra tears. Oh, yeah.

1:24:26

Yeah, mantra and I 20 minutes in the morning and 20 minutes afternoon. And that to me is just my time to float and fly and anchor and center in the day. So

Sarah Milken  1:24:35

I do meditate. I do. You're like kind of too tall to meditate. How do you get into that position?

1:24:43

Well, I met I dig a hole and I sit in the hole sticking out

Sarah Milken  1:24:49

but and you have the new shovel for the beach. So

1:24:53

that's my new shovel as well. But I have a mantra as well sir. And my mantra is this and They gave it to me and I'll hear it's the best one. It's this. Oh, no.

Sarah Milken  1:25:09

No. Oh no, the flexible neurotic podcast. 9am Oh, no. I'm in the shower but not really. Um, okay, so you guys meditate. What else do you do Susan? Because

1:25:24

I'm honest. I've been do Botox like photo eye.

Sarah Milken  1:25:27

Three times do for it. Like my whole forehead is caving in?

1:25:32

It's three or four times a year ago.

1:25:34

Are you seeing that? Your forehead over your eyes

Sarah Milken  1:25:37

like that? Well, I don't know. I have a lot of mascara and I've duct tape. Susan, I discuss how I use duct tape to hold my shit together.

1:25:44

Well, it looks fantastic. But

Sarah Milken  1:25:46

yes, I do Botox for sure.

1:25:48

Yeah, I do Botox. But this is my own nose. My own mouth my own eyes like Yeah,

1:25:54

that's a great name for a dog by the way. Botox.

1:25:56

Yeah, that is a cute name.

1:25:59

Well, that is a cute toxie Yeah, that's cute.

Sarah Milken  1:26:01

That's a dog today.

1:26:06

It's funny, because we've been talking with Susan also works with a trainer. I work with a trainer three times a week on my phone, she Julie diamond, who I love, and we do phone, FaceTime. So she's in Santa Monica. And then I call her and she FaceTime and she, I do all the weights three times a week and then I hike with him. On the other day.

1:26:24

I wrestle with a guy on zoom. You carius distortion and then she moves. Yeah. If we have a ref on another zoom is gone.

Sarah Milken  1:26:36

So do you guys see you guys hike together?

1:26:39

Yeah, we do that on occasion on occasion. Not every day. But yeah, we're not doing my arm weights and stuff. We hike.

Sarah Milken  1:26:46

And Kevin's like interviewing other celebrities and stuff.

1:26:49

I haven't done that show in a while since COVID. I've done three seasons of it at seven hikes. Oh my god. And and I had to let a few go because of the COVID. I was looking forward to like Elizabeth Gilbert.

1:27:01

Oh my god, that would have been amazing.

1:27:02

I love Elizabeth Gilbert. So come back around. Yeah, he couldn't do that because of COVID. But yeah,

Sarah Milken  1:27:09

now it's outside. I mean, isn't it sort of legal now?

1:27:13

Well, they want what you want to really be able to do it with masks off, and we still just want to be extra extra safe. And and,

1:27:19

you know, Ideally, we'd be like this together.

Sarah Milken  1:27:22

Do you want do you want Jake to do on my son to carry like a Plexiglas barrier in between you. In between you and the gas.

1:27:31

That's actually not a bad.

1:27:33

I mean, we could do it without the mask, but the guests would have to be like six feet behind me. And they have to fly

1:27:37

a lot of them. You know, people aren't flying commercially. So

1:27:41

I fly all my guests. Oh, yeah. I won't take anybody that lives in the state.

Sarah Milken  1:27:46

Really? And then you COVID test them to Oh my gosh. Okay, so Kevin, how do you keep your shit together? Other than wrestling and hiking? I

1:27:56

mean, mentally,

Sarah Milken  1:27:58

physically and physically.

1:28:00

Physically. I'm beat Well, I'd like to say that I eat well, I mean, I am a pescetarian. I say shut occasion. Okay. And I've been a vegetarian for a long time before that, you know? Also, I don't drink a lot. Neither do I really drink. I used to drink. I was never an alcoholic or anything. But I you know, we like to enjoy.

Sarah Milken  1:28:23

Thanks for hanging out for us.

1:28:25

But I'll have a glass of wine now. Like maybe a glass of wine a month now?

1:28:29

He drinks once one glass of wine a month.

Sarah Milken  1:28:31

Yeah. When I drink wine. It wakes me up in the middle of the night. Yes. For me. Yeah.

1:28:38

For me, alcohol and parenthood just don't seem to match. Yeah, but for me if I like champagne is my drink. I like that. But even one glass if I have to. I'm up at one. I'm up at 3am up at five. It's just

Sarah Milken  1:28:52

yeah, that's how I am to

1:28:55

be up at night.

Sarah Milken  1:28:55

We're just too old for that shit. Now, Kevin, are there any like before we wrap up with my rapid fire questions? Are there any sort of pieces of advice you have for people over 40 trying to figure out their shit? Or over 60 or over 60? Because you're 100

1:29:14

I would say Believe in yourself and do the things you want to do. Don't have regrets. You know, you don't want to have regrets in life. And don't wait. Hmm. You know, I was 53 when I had my son. I didn't really wait. He waited. He was waiting for us.

1:29:33

Yeah, for sure.

1:29:34

But you know, I mean, I think you'll surprise yourself and what you're capable of, you know, if you just try it and be courageous. And if you fail you fail. You know, I used I golf in this tournament like tamo every year it's called the American Century championship. And and I'm not a good golfer, you know, I always finish at the end. Susan sometimes will say to me, why do you golf, you know, I say well, I just enjoy the you know, the The possibility of maybe doing well at one hole or having a good shot. And, and this is on camera. You know, it's on TV, it's on NBC and

1:30:08

comedian you can get away with being that's what I tell him.

1:30:12

Just be funny. That's your only job.

1:30:14

Yeah. But you know, a friend of mine said to me, because he saw nervous I was he said, Look, if you're good, people will love you. If you're not good, they'll still love you. Because you'll say I'm better than him. And he's trying it. And I love him. I love him.

1:30:32

And it goes back, talking about our fails. It's so important to talk about where you fail in life and what I spent last year writing a book and that's one thing, the editor that was helping me would say, we don't want to hear about your accomplishments, readers aren't interested in accomplishments, talk about the things that you mess up, where you fail, where you came short, the things you regret. Because that's really what's that

1:30:55

book called?

1:30:56

Um, how to be your own person by Kevin nealon. His wife.

1:31:00

Oh, good, perfect, but

1:31:01

you don't even share the same last name? Um, no, but I yeah, but but I'm still his wife.

Sarah Milken  1:31:09

Yeah, that's true. I mean, that's true. Yeah. Yeah. You didn't give up your name?

1:31:13

No. I told him when he proposed, I said, Honey, I would never ask you to be Kevin yateley. And I know you would never ask me to be Susan nealon. Got it. And he said, You're right. You're right.

Sarah Milken  1:31:28

And that was that. So you're you and he's him. And he ends up baton stick and we're good.

1:31:33

couple who merged their last names, though.

Sarah Milken  1:31:36

You know, with us both last name though. Someone's

1:31:39

last name was Joe. Butter. They became snetor. But then they got a divorce.

1:31:45

Oh, good. So

1:31:47

it didn't work out. Well.

1:31:49

My name so they could lose.

Sarah Milken  1:31:51

Right, exactly. But yeah, I don't know. I kind of just went with it. I just felt like there were so many other, but I wasn't an actress either. So it's like, it didn't really matter. But the hard part for me was my maiden name was kind of cool. Yeah, you knew that. Had you

1:32:13

been to the teddy bear tease?

Sarah Milken  1:32:14

Oh, yeah, like Firestone. I

1:32:17

mean, like not, and I take that now. Can I be sued? Firestone. Yeah,

Sarah Milken  1:32:21

just marry my brother. Like, you know what I mean, he has a wife but he could have to.

1:32:26

I love Firestone milk is pretty

Sarah Milken  1:32:31

good. It's a good last name, but Firestone people be like the tires like the tires. Like, I'm like my dad. My dad's a dentist. No, it's not the tires, but I never know who doesn't love my dad.

1:32:47

He sat in the booth with me. He came and sat with me in the booth.

Sarah Milken  1:32:51

Yes, he's like, Kevin. He's like, menchi and nice and funny. And everybody loves him. And, you know, it's like cracking jokes and making a scene. You know, that's it. So I know what it's like to live with a Kevin I can relate to Gable. Okay. You know, like my dad used to, like, pick us up at school with a life size, like a Ranga Tang in the front seat, like a stuffed one. And I was like, all I wanted to do was like, crawl under the car. No, I was mortified that he volunteered in the nurse's office and used to like tease and joke around. I was like, Just kill me. Like I just it was it's like my kids being on Instagram. It's like, Okay, wait, so we're gonna do some fun shit about Susan. I know Kevin's gonna chime in so feel free to have Here we go. Susan, what's next on your bucket list?

1:33:41

Whoo.

1:33:42

Oh my gosh. Um, I would love to work in Los Angeles be a series regular on a show that is local and improv based on kind of a sitcom type show. That would be great. So

Sarah Milken  1:33:55

you put that in the atmosphere your man. Kevin, what about you?

1:34:00

Amsterdam. I want to travel. Hmm. I'm so tired of being here. I travel so much. And I miss it. And we love Amsterdam and Paris. So I want to travel. I want to like just go

Sarah Milken  1:34:12

when are you in your mind? okay with that. Right now. Right now. Okay.

1:34:18

Yeah, I want to wait till it's safe to travel.

1:34:21

work now. That's why I said my career ambition would be now to do that because I feel like traveling is still a little ways away. Got it.

1:34:29

Okay, my bucket list.

Sarah Milken  1:34:32

Exactly. Exactly. T shirt. My bucket as my bucket list. I have a long one. Okay, anything that you've learned that's now on your fucking list

1:34:45

of how the house looks when people come over a good

1:34:47

one.

1:34:50

Just you know what if there's baseball caps on the kitchen counter, if there's cobwebs under the tables, you know what so I'm not gonna know All day cleaning houses people are coming over. The

Sarah Milken  1:35:02

annoying thing is my kids use these like disposable masks sometimes and then they leave that shit all over the kitchen. I'm like, is it dirty? Did they use it outside? Do I throw it away? I just leave them there until they deal with it.

1:35:14

Yeah, that's a good idea.

1:35:16

Yeah, I was I was. Mine is. I started making a quilt out of used masks.

Sarah Milken  1:35:25

Can you come? I have plenty for you. Actually.

1:35:27

I said, screw it.

Sarah Milken  1:35:30

I have so many secret pleasures. What's your secret pleasure, Susan?

1:35:34

HGTV and a kabocha for two hours. just laying a bed with a Caboose and watching digestible shows that they need a house. Here's their budget, they fight about it. And then they find their house. I love that stuff.

Sarah Milken  1:35:51

You don't have to think about it.

1:35:53

I don't have to think I love how shows. That's just notice Jeremy.

Sarah Milken  1:35:58

Love it. Interesting thing. I'm like, why are you watching this?

1:36:02

I find it just so pleasurable. I love homes that there's a warrior element to it. I would go to open houses every day if I

Sarah Milken  1:36:10

clear the watches the open houses on the TV screen with Marin and then they analyze the houses together.

1:36:19

Well count me and Jeremy

Sarah Milken  1:36:20

Yeah, so he takes the MLS listing from his phone and then like screen shares at screen mirrors it to the TV in Marin have like a whole real estate thing going? And she's like, well, I don't really like how the staircase is right when you enter the house. I'm like, What? like shit. I don't even think about Wow, okay, what about favorite beauty treatments Susan and Kevin.

1:36:46

I like oils and say I like all those fitness daughter. Oh, me too. I

Sarah Milken  1:36:50

like that. I like that. I like botanicals too.

1:36:54

Because we're living in a desert California is a desert. So I wouldn't have used this in Nashville but because it's a more of a wet climate there but but here in the desert. I love that there's daughter oil.

1:37:06

I put a lot that on. We like the

1:37:08

mayor Kevin uses.

1:37:10

Kevin lamere actually means it's French. It means the mayor

Sarah Milken  1:37:18

that's interesting that you use that because it's so thick. I would feel like you'd be claustrophobic and that

1:37:23

you're not claustrophobic anymore.

Sarah Milken  1:37:24

I know. But it has like claustrophobic elements to it. But I use that under my finish

1:37:28

out. I add a lot of water to it.

Sarah Milken  1:37:30

You multiply it perfectly. Now what whoo things do you guys do you meditate?

1:37:36

Uh huh. Definitely I meditate. I also do sprays I spray things with this lavender spray just to kind of get the day off of us. Or to end the day I do a spray on the pillow. That's kind of sage things I think are good.

Sarah Milken  1:37:51

Kevin, do you have any crystals or anything?

1:37:53

Thank you for your question, Sarah. Um,

1:37:57

I wanted to keep you awake.

1:37:58

I don't have any crystals. Okay. I don't really believe in that kind of stuff. Okay. I'm the son of an engineer. Who's very pragmatic. Hmm. But I

Sarah Milken  1:38:08

but you're so creative and artistic. Yeah, I would be into the ethereal woowoo. Like, medicine, you'd be good on plant medicine. That'd be amazing. Actually.

1:38:23

No, I am. You know, I'm kind of at that age now. Where I think I could get into a lot of woowoo even people. Yeah, how much? How much can I mess up my body at this point? You know, I can become an alcoholic now and still live another 30 years?

Sarah Milken  1:38:37

Yeah.

1:38:39

I could smoke.

Sarah Milken  1:38:40

Uh huh. But this might be hard to hike if you smoke.

1:38:43

Yeah, it's already hurt. I know already.

1:38:47

The smell of cigarettes.

Sarah Milken  1:38:49

Why you don't hike with Susan cuz you're probably like at the bottom of the hill.

1:38:54

You know, people often ask me, Sarah, yes. Who is the most out of shape hiker you've hiked with? Typically, I am the most out of shape out of everybody. Good. That's

Sarah Milken  1:39:06

good. You know? See, but like I see those guns there. You're flexing? I got it. Okay, so what TV? flex that's such a good word. A gross word to

1:39:21

that end doilies?

Sarah Milken  1:39:22

Yeah, you know, my kids don't like the word moist.

1:39:25

That's a bad word to

1:39:27

Yeah, like I like moist.

1:39:31

moist. It's a good bank.

Sarah Milken  1:39:32

Yes. It's a little yeast infection a though like if you think about Yeah, that word. Yeah, it's kind of gross. What TV shows are you guys watching right now other than house TV?

1:39:44

Oh, I'm a big documentary girl. I love my octopus teacher. I just watched that something about a man in South Africa bonding with an octopus. So any documentary I love crime. We just watch the the horror of a man who killed his wife and two kids and make my American next Take your neighbor document Kevin, did

Sarah Milken  1:40:01

you write that? You did.

1:40:05

But I've been binge watching. We've watched just about everything. So now we're binge watching our ring doorbell footage.

1:40:10

Oh, wow.

1:40:12

This guy's hilarious. No, but

Sarah Milken  1:40:14

we had a Postmates lady show up the other day in a unit hard that was one shouldered. Yeah, it was you in roller skates. And I was like, Jake, look at the hot Postmates lady at the door and I like took a picture of her. Like on the camera. I'm like no one has ever shown up like this.

1:40:35

She was watching

Sarah Milken  1:40:36

right? You must have gone to your one of your auditions or something. Sue's Yeah, maybe

1:40:41

try. Yeah.

Sarah Milken  1:40:42

Yeah, she was high.

1:40:45

To catch up on a lot of TV shows that I never saw before. You know, I'm serious. Like westwing from wire. I haven't seen all the sopranos or all the breaking.

Sarah Milken  1:40:56

Oh, we did the breaking bad thing too. Okay, what is the last thing you ordered from Amazon?

1:41:04

a shovel for the beach. Okay.

1:41:08

Ross thank boots. Okay, you

1:41:10

use those often? Sadly.

1:41:14

I'm still in the box. Okay. Um, but I did buy the case. We do heights where I think this makes gun plentiful.

1:41:22

Okay, we use

1:41:23

Amazon a lot.

Sarah Milken  1:41:24

Yeah, so do we. Jeremy thinks Amazon's my best friend or my lover for some reason, because Amazon shows up a lot.

1:41:31

Most up here between Amazon and QVC.

1:41:34

I like QVC Oh, yo, yeah, I like I like

Sarah Milken  1:41:38

free book. earrings. Um, what? For? like gold hoop earrings. No,

1:41:43

no, just for I bought a toothpaste whitener. I bought slippers. I bought a salmon filets. I bought. I love to listen to QVC and hear the callers call in and they'll be in your call from Boca Raton, Florida. Like you

Sarah Milken  1:42:00

would be really good on QVC

1:42:03

that would be fun.

Sarah Milken  1:42:04

Because you have like the voice and the hair and the face the whole thing if you don't like the price is right to

1:42:11

be fair. Thank you. I don't know if they're looking for 49 year old lady to pet a car.

Sarah Milken  1:42:15

Yeah, but I don't look 49 and I'm sure they would enjoy the pet for sure. Now for you guys. Was intuition natural? Or did you work at it? intuition. Yeah.

1:42:26

Oh, it's the most for me. It's the most natural thing I go with

Sarah Milken  1:42:29

my intuition. Do you always listen to it? Or do you

1:42:31

always do I always listen to it and I go with it. But if I'm guided to make a phone call or send a text or two, I really will tune in that's where the meditation comes in. Because that way it kind of listen to

Sarah Milken  1:42:43

are you so mad if you don't listen to it? Oh,

1:42:47

yeah, it when I don't listen to it. I may hit my car may hit a a mailbox. I will forget my keys that day. I will you know everything is often unsettling if I don't listen to

Sarah Milken  1:43:00

Kevin, do you hear voices?

1:43:04

I'm hearing them right now.

Sarah Milken  1:43:05

You are like, what is this podcast gonna be? Oh? Okay, what's the smallest thing that we can do today to this shift toward cell free creation? Move your body. Okay, just

1:43:21

getting outside, walking in your cul de sac for 10 minutes and get sunshine on your face. That is zapper to me just get up and move move. Put on your roller skating for me just do it. Okay, that was refreshing.

Sarah Milken  1:43:36

Kevin, you Well, you know, jump into your fears.

1:43:41

I think um, it reminds me when I was writing some screenplays, it seems so daunting. The process of having to write you know, 120 pages or 90 pages, whatever it is. And some of the books tell you first of all, get the pages and number them start that way. Those take those steps, take little steps toward your goal. So that's what I do typically, like if you're going to start a diet, you know, they always start on Monday, right?

1:44:11

Ah, of course,

1:44:12

start on Sunday, got a little head start on it. And then he could fail on Monday

Sarah Milken  1:44:18

right totally throw the doughnuts away

1:44:20

in terms of having anxiety or anybody wanting to feel lifted. The thing that Mel Robbins says that I love is you get out of bed. You make your bed and you get dressed and those three wins to start the day with three wins like that. You already feel great about your life so you get out of bed you make your bed, when you look back in your bedroom, your beds all made and you put clothes on

Sarah Milken  1:44:45

and just that I love that too and I love Mel Robbins The only issue I have with my bed I feel like I have to change the Comforter because it's complicated has to be like folded in the corners to like tuck it in right? I need just like that fluffy duvet. Where you just get that shit?

1:45:02

Push it throw it up there.

1:45:04

You know where you can get that Amazon

Sarah Milken  1:45:06

Amazon? Yes, but I need like organic. It has to be cotton than Jeremy's too hot. You know we have a lot of like, I know you guys have sleep issues too, because I've heard Kevin talk about you got you get in the bed and then you disrupt Susan's sleeping.

1:45:20

Well, he gets up throughout the night, but I sleep. I've been taking this thing called calm that has magnesium in it. And that knocks me out for nine hours. So I've been I sleep well enough to drink that. Don't

Sarah Milken  1:45:31

you pee in the middle of the night? No,

1:45:33

I just put it in a little. I get hot boiling water and put it in a teacup. So it's just a couple inches of hot boiling water and a new museum, which is called calm. You can get it on

1:45:44

Amazon doesn't give you the shifts.

1:45:47

No, no, no, she

1:45:48

does. Also she'll add just a little bit of Ambien. No, no.

Sarah Milken  1:45:54

Susanna x. Kevin Kevin's looking for some right now. Okay, so what would your bottom line advice be on finding the sweet spot in the second half of life other than Susan Kevin? Sweet Spot?

1:46:13

Well, I can't harking back to before i think it's it's, you know, taking risks and pushing yourself a little bit and find out you know, but what's been on your bucket list forever that you were afraid to do? And it because nothing is sweeter than making that accomplishment?

Sarah Milken  1:46:30

Yeah. What about you, Susan?

1:46:33

Being willing to fail? Yeah. And knowing failing is a friend. And I have to have a lot of fails in order to get to the success. So we hear that a lot, but really embracing it loving it. And when I'm not good at something going Heck yeah. All right. Cool. I sucked at that. But what am I gonna learn from it?

Sarah Milken  1:46:51

So yeah, hearing it and doing it are so different. Like, I don't know how to do a podcast, I didn't know how to do a podcast. And I did a great job. I know. But I had this like idea. And I thought, but if you sit around and think about the idea for too long, you become paralyzed in perfection. And like me, who are perfectionist or like, Well, I'm not going to do it if it's not going to be like Bernie Browns podcast. But if I think about it that way, and I don't just push forward, then I'm never going to get anywhere. But you have to be willing to kind of, like we talked about earlier is like to start small, like at age 45. It was it's like I've gone to Ivy League schools. I've gotten a PhD. I've done all these things like how do you start small, like, almost at like the minimum wage level of podcasting. It's hard to start small, it's hard to start over.

1:47:43

Mm hmm.

Sarah Milken  1:47:44

But like you said, if you don't put yourself out there, where what's ever gonna happen?

1:47:49

I go back. And I love what you're saying. And Kevin has told me a story with Lorne Michaels would say on Saturday Night Live when it would be 1130 at night. And he'd say, look, and the audiences out there, everybody's ready. They're about to go live. And he'd say, we're not all of us are not ready to do the show. But it's time to do the show. Yes. Oh, here we go. So let's not if we sit and wait until we're ready. We're never going to make that clear.

Sarah Milken  1:48:18

Everything's perfect.

1:48:20

Nothing will ever be perfect. Right? No one's ever gonna be perfect that someone is whenever they say, Oh, the perfect age to travel overseas. There's no perfect date. Remember, when people would say to us, oh, you better travel now before you have a kid and remember going know what? When we have a kid, we're going to travel more. And we did we lived in New Zealand when Gable was born. So turn everything upside down. Don't listen to what people tell you about how your life should be. You create your own life. You are in charge of it. You have the menu you write it out.

Sarah Milken  1:48:52

Right, Kevin?

1:48:54

totally disagree. I could not disagree more with her.

Sarah Milken  1:48:58

Yeah, I mean, you just started like a YouTube channel youtube show with hiking

1:49:03

and is 60

Sarah Milken  1:49:04

Yeah, how did you know that? That was gonna be successful hiking with Kevin.

1:49:08

Well, I didn't know I mean, I started small. I just posted on my Instagram on Twitter. I didn't have a drone or anything. I had my cell phone which is really shaky on us out of selfie stick. And then as it you know, evolved I figured out how to create a YouTube channel I figured out how to you know work a GoPro on the end of a graphite, carbon graphite selfie stick with a you know, steady cam and and learn how to fly a drone and all that stuff and edit I had to learn how to edit, you know, Premiere Pro. Oh, you know, little steps, little steps I think is the answer right there. Yeah.

Sarah Milken  1:49:45

Yeah, I've interviewed nine people so far. And I'd say their ongoing theme is this whole idea of baby steps, small steps, because we can't like build Rome in a day. No, it's like I told you before, I didn't have an Instagram account until two and a half weeks ago. So I was like, Okay, I'm gonna start an Instagram account. Yes, that's embarrassing having zero followers. But now I have 580 it's like sort of presentable ish. So I, I'm guess I'm just trying to give everyone listening permission to start small. And it may not necessarily ever go big, but you're fucking enjoying it while you're doing it. Or at least I hope you are. Yeah, because I need to pick something else.

1:50:29

Yeah, and not worry at all. I don't worry about followers or comments or likes, none of that matters to me. I am only concerned about my content, and doing something that makes me happy and brings me joy or is a different spin on things like it's almost for selfish reason I do it for myself. And whatever ends up happening from that is all good.

Sarah Milken  1:50:52

Right? It also helps that you guys have big names and your celebrity so most people are going to look at your stuff whether it's great or not. For me, I'm like a nobody. So like my shit has to be good. Like my content has to be good. So I am excited when people are like oh my god, I listened to the first episode it resonated with me. I'm like, Oh my god, this is working people are listening, you know? Yes. So

1:51:16

look at that progress just a month. NET credible.

Sarah Milken  1:51:21

I know I'm from now I'm burning people inspiration for something that I've been doing for a month. It's good. You guys have been doing it for 1000 years and I've been doing it for a month. You know, anything else you got to add Kev before we wrap up?

1:51:36

I'm

1:51:39

not really I think we set it on. I think I think we will edit this down to like 15 minutes. Totally. Yeah.

Sarah Milken  1:51:46

We will love that. Actually not the editor. So that's good. It works out. Well. You guys

1:51:53

enjoy talking to you

Sarah Milken  1:51:56

guys, I'm glad shovels you have a golden shovel now.

1:52:01

Yes, thank you for that beautiful package and my own.

Sarah Milken  1:52:06

If you if listeners want to find you guys, where can they find you?

1:52:10

Well, our address is

1:52:12

our home address. Okay, our social security numbers. Okay, so I'm I'm Susie eglee. But my Instagram handle is at Suki yateley su KIY e a g le y et Suki Ganguly and Kevin's is

1:52:27

that Kevin nealon. Also I have a website with my touring schedule on it, but my you know, because of COVID the touring thing has been all pushed back to kind of next year.

Sarah Milken  1:52:36

Yeah, but you've done some cool shit. You had the concert with Brad Paisley and your house? Yeah, yeah, I mean, you're looking at work.

1:52:43

I've been doing these drivings Theater style things to outside for the cars pull up. But um, yeah, Kevin, Kevin nealon are at Kevin nealon artwork on Instagram, for neon, and,

Sarah Milken  1:52:58

and it will all be in the show notes. So if anyone's trying to take notes fast. I want everyone to think about shit they can start doing today. One small step. I want to thank Susan and Kevin for saying yes. Thank you for highlighting your personal stories, tools and advice and keeping the comedy going. Hence this podcast, Susan and Kevin. I hope to see you soon though.

1:53:31

All right. Go get them. We love you. Bye