Bobbi Brown’s “Everyday Midlife”, Your Way!

Bobbi Brown** ((00:00:00)) - - It's being fearless, you know, it's like, okay, well, that didn't work. Let me try it and tread slowly and i think just do it

Sarah Milken** ((00:00:12)) - - Hey peeps, welcome to the Flexible Neurotic Podcast. I'm your host, doctor Sarah Millican. Yeah, you heard that right. I'm a real PhD doctor. Long, long ago, like last fucking year, I was sitting in the midlife funk wondering, was this it for me? That day, I realized I needed to get off my ass and start my midlife remix. I dusted off my PhD, wiped the menopause sweat off my forehead, grabbed my golden shit shovel, and started digging deep to all my midlife bitches. It's not just luck, coffee, and hormones that get you through your midlife remix. It's action steps. Let's do this.

Sarah Milken** ((00:00:55)) - - Hi peeps.

Sarah Milken** ((00:00:56)) - - It's me again, doctor Sarah Milken with a new Golden Nugget Minnesota of the Flexible Neurotic Podcast. This is when I go back to some of my best episodes, or remind us of some of the fabulous and important golden nuggets that we dug up at that time.

Sarah Milken** ((00:01:11)) - - And we may have forgotten. Yeah, you heard me right. I'm going into my midlife library and bringing you golden nuggets about midlife motivation, empty nesting, health, wellness, all the things flexible, neurotic style. Today's a golden nugget from the one and only Bobbi Brown. Yes, the Bobbi Brown makeup guru. This was such a fangirl moment in my podcast evolution, but that's a totally different story. She is the makeup guru, a total embodiment of aging gracefully, and speaks from experience. She's a mother and entrepreneur with a lot of midlife insight. Today we accept the idea that, quote, life is work, while reiterating that we are the ones choosing the type of work that is like I say all the time, it's all about hard and good. So choose your hard. And as Bobbi says, never say I can't. And just because something seems hard doesn't mean you can't do it. This golden nugget Minnesota really hits home right now and is such a good reminder. So let's get into the episode facts.

Sarah Milken** ((00:02:19)) - - And I feel like sometimes I think for women who don't work outside the home or have a huge passion project going on, they're like, wait, what do I do now? And I think that's who a lot of these listeners are in my podcast, because that was me for 17 years. My son just turned 18, and I've been a stay at home mom all this time. And when I turned 45, I was like, fuck, I have the midlife itches. Like, I have to do something because these kids are leaving. And that's how I know. But it's hard and it's it's a lot of work and but I've loved every second of it. But it's, it's you got to find a plan.

Bobbi Brown** ((00:02:55)) - - Yeah, but, dude, what isn't hard I know isn't kids being, you know, being a wife, being a friend, running a business. Everything's hard. I know, you know, it's called, like, life is work and life. You know, life is work. Even when I have so many amazing things going on.

Bobbi Brown** ((00:03:13)) - - But it's like I'm exhausted right now. You know, I had a unpack from the summer because we have a beach house, and then I'm going to. And I know no one feels sorry for me, but I'm going to somewhere else in another house and I'm like, oh my God, I have to unpack and I have to repack. And I've.

Sarah Milken** ((00:03:29)) - - I do feel sorry for you because even though they're like privileged problems, packing is my worst. I know I kind of have been sort of talking about this concept of like good enough, but like, what you're good enough is, is different than someone else is good enough. Like, I have friends who are willing to work to work out 2 or 3 hours a day and not eat carbs and not a dairy. I'm not willing to do any of those things.

Bobbi Brown** ((00:03:52)) - - Neither am I.

Sarah Milken** ((00:03:53)) - - So am I, but they are. So it's sort of like figuring out what you're good enough is and like what you're willing to kind of like, give up what work.

Sarah Milken** ((00:04:02)) - - I mean, everything, like you said, everything in life is work. Well, what work are you willing to do? Like, I don't mind working out. It's not my favorite thing in the world, but I'm not going to run 15 miles a day., I'm not going to go spin class.

Bobbi Brown** ((00:04:16)) - - Right? Well, you know, I like exercising. It makes me feel good. I get in and out of habits, and when I'm, you know, busy, I get out of habits and it doesn't ever work for me. I do so much better. That's why I can't wait to come back and get back into my routine where I have the same trainer twice a week. I know exactly what I'm doing, and the other days I'm going to put in the exact time that I'm going to work out, because in order for me to, you know, live my life, this works really well with the pencils.

Sarah Milken** ((00:04:45)) - - A lot of women at this age are like, I can't start something new.

Sarah Milken** ((00:04:49)) - - I don't know what I'm doing. It's not going to be perfect. Like, what are your thoughts on kind of figuring it out? Learning on the go. Like how have you been okay with that?

Bobbi Brown** ((00:05:00)) - - Well, first of all, don't ever say can't.

Sarah Milken** ((00:05:03)) - - Like I know, but self-limiting beliefs are brutal. They're like, oh, I can't do this unless it's. Or what if the external peanut gallery is, you know, mocking me? Or what if it's not super successful? Like, what's your philosophy on kind of just being scared and doing it anyway?

Bobbi Brown** ((00:05:19)) - - Well, I don't know. It's being fearless. You know, it's like, okay, well, that didn't work. Let me try something else and tread slowly, you know, tread slowly. And I think that, you know, and just do it like, let's just say you don't know what you want to do, but you know, you want your own business. Like what is what do you have that you can offer people to make the best granola? Are you can you clean and organized? Can you drive someone's kids like, you know, could you make sauces and jars? Like what is your superpower? Like what's your superpower? You know, just think about it and say, wow, I bet people love it.

Bobbi Brown** ((00:05:58)) - - You know, my friends love it when I do this, right. You know, my sister is like the most amazing food prep person you have ever seen was she.

Sarah Milken** ((00:06:07)) - - Saw that on her.

Bobbi Brown** ((00:06:08)) - - Instagram every Sunday. And I'm always telling her, Linda, this could be your thing. I would if you live near me.

Sarah Milken** ((00:06:16)) - - I would pay a bazillion dollars for that. And I also read that you have this notion that not a notion, but this philosophy that if you don't know how to do something that doesn't stop you from doing it, you just find someone who knows how to do that, and you do what your wheelhouse is.

Bobbi Brown** ((00:06:32)) - - Right, 100%. And don't feel bad about it. Right. That's the thing. It's like, you know, look, could I learn finance? I don't know, but I know I'm not interested. I'm not interested. Right. So, you know, we just hired an amazing CEO who tells me what's happening and how things are doing. Yeah.

Sarah Milken** ((00:06:50)) - - Just gives you the cliff notes.

Sarah Milken** ((00:06:51)) - - You got it?

Bobbi Brown** ((00:06:51)) - - Yeah. Yeah.

Sarah Milken** ((00:06:52)) - - So. And that's how I feel, too, like with this whole podcast, like all the technology shoot me. If I was waiting to figure out how to do Instagram and all the zoom, I would still be waiting, right? So it's like, okay, well, I like to write. I like to talk to people, I like to ask questions, but I don't want to do any of the technology shit. I know I appreciate that. And how did you how did menopause and the husband and your husband work out? Like, did you feel like there were changes in your relationship? Did you feel like you needed like a regroup?

Bobbi Brown** ((00:07:25)) - - No, I mean, I look at this September will be 34 years. Wow. And I'm not going to be here to tell you guys that, oh my God, all you have to do is this. And it's perfect. No, it's work. And there's times where it's like, so annoying, so aggravating.

Bobbi Brown** ((00:07:41)) - - Look, I know even when I'm like so pissed off, so frustrated, I know I'm not going to divorce them, you know? No, I mean, it's like I want to be with him forever. And you know what? I've had to learn? How not? It's not that I can change him because I can't. But how I change myself. Like how I make this work better for me because this is who he is. He's not changing and I'm not changing. But at least let me change my perception of it. How I deal with what is making me aggravated, you know, and and choose my battles wisely and learn how to communicate. Like, right? It's like in the midst of being aggravated, you say things you might not mean, but maybe later. So hold it if you can. You know, I'm not saying delayed response.

Sarah Milken** ((00:08:31)) - - Hey peeps, it's me again, okay? That conversation was everything I needed today. I used to buy so much Bobbi Brown pink sugar lip gloss makeup with my mom and then like what, 30 years later whenever I'm interviewing her.

Sarah Milken** ((00:08:49)) - - Like, how crazy is that? Bobby's advice on limiting beliefs goes along with everything I say about hard and good. Yes, life is work. Yes, everything is hard at first. But it gets easier. It gets good. It's worth it. The trick starting trying, getting over those limiting beliefs, being scared and doing it anyway. Never, ever, ever saying I can't and remember that there is no escaping the quote work. So choose your heart because the good will pay off in tenfold. So what's Bobby's ultimate trick to getting over fear and getting over the quote? Hard being fearless? Yep, you heard me right. Fearlessness. Being scared and doing it anyway. Being scared and not even thinking twice about doing it anyway. Or if you do think about it, you say fuck it and you ignore that and you do it anyway, believing in your ability to figure it out, treading slowly through the process and knowing that if it doesn't work out right away, that's okay because it may lead to something else.

Sarah Milken** ((00:09:53)) - - Again, peeps, if I let all the hard things get in the way and stop me, there would be no podcast. There are asks if there are aspects that you don't know how to ask for help. Seek an expert. There are always solutions and there is no shaming. Getting help. I mean, honestly, the technology for this podcast is mind blowing for my midlife brain. Mid lifers. Don't worry about digging through your old notes. From all the amazing information we got today. You can go to my website dot the flexible neurotic.com search Bobbi Brown, and there's a full set of show notes and you can listen to the full length episode there to stay tuned for more Golden Nuggets and Golden Nugget Minnesota that you probably forgot in the midst of midlife parenting, teens becoming or maybe already are, an empty nester, careering, and so many other things. There are three things you can do. You probably have this whole outro memorized. First, fucking subscribe to the podcast. Second, share it with some midlife friends who might like some midlife shit.

Sarah Milken** ((00:10:58)) - - And third, write an Apple review. It's so annoying, but it is so helpful. Okay, you guys can follow my Instagram at the flexible neurotic DM. You know I always respond, love you. Talk soon.