How I Rebuilt My Midlife VJ & More

Wendy Euler (00:00:00) - So when I say round peg, round hole, I want to be really clear that it's it's hard and good. And when you accept that and when you accept loss, your gain is tremendous.

*Sarah Milken * (00:00:13) - Hey peeps, welcome to the Flexible Neurotic Podcast. I'm your host, doctor Sarah Millican. Yeah, you heard that right. I'm a real PhD doctor. Long, long ago, like last fucking year, I was sitting in the midlife funk wondering, was this it for me? That day, I realized I needed to get off my ass and start my midlife remix. I dusted off my PhD, wiped the menopause sweat off my forehead, grabbed my golden shit shovel, and started digging deep to all my midlife bitches. It's not just luck, coffee, and hormones that get you through your midlife remix. It's action steps. Let's do this. Hi good peeps, this is the next episode of the Flexible Neurotic Podcast. I'm Doctor Sarah Milken, the flexible Neurotic. This is the Midlife Self Reinvention podcast, where we celebrate all the Uggs and fabulous cities of midlife.

*Sarah Milken * (00:01:10) - And there are many today. I have such a fun and cool guest, a podcast host, a writer, a model, a style enthusiast, all the things. She's a mother of three girls. Holy shit, I only have one and that is enough estrogen for me, she says. Aging is a privilege. We shouldn't want to be in our 30s again, and we shouldn't be throwing in the towel either. We're going to find out what that really means. She has a midlife platform that started as good bye crop top with a podcast, too, and now her podcast is now called cropped a midlife minute, a shorter format podcast. She gets into all things with me. We talk about midlife, fashion, relationships, and of course, it wouldn't be a conversation without me talking about the midlife vagina. Wendy and I talk about her vaginal reconstruction on the inside and outside. We're not doctors. We're just talking about why she did it, how she felt, and how it ended up. She finally made the decision to remodel her midlife vagina, and she feels like talking about it openly because it's helping women know that they are not alone if they have similar issues and there are solutions.

*Sarah Milken * (00:02:22) - P.S. I want to let you guys know that this is the first episode that I recorded in person at a studio set for my podcast, so you can also watch this entire episode on YouTube trying new things like we always talk about in midlife a little uncomfortable, hard to start fresh and new, but you do it scared and doing it anyway. I want you guys to meet Wendy Isler. Here we go. Hey peeps, welcome back to the Flexible Neurotic Podcast. We're doing something fun, something different. Today. I always talk about stepping out of your comfort zone. So today is going to be my first in-person film of this podcast. I have an amazing guest today, a friend, a podcast host, a writer, a model. Wendy Isler.

Wendy Euler (00:03:17) - Hello.

*Sarah Milken * (00:03:18) - So excited to have you here.

Wendy Euler (00:03:20) - It's so good to be here.

*Sarah Milken * (00:03:22) - Oh my gosh. Okay, so we're going to talk about goodbye crop top your midlife platform. And you know you and I midlife team here. Yeah. We're going to talk about your upcoming projects.

*Sarah Milken * (00:03:35) - We're going to talk about just kind of the midlife rebuild. We were at an event, another midlife event, and somehow we started talking about the midlife vagina. I mean, if you know me, there's always going to be some kind of reference to the vagina. And as teen daughter and teen son would say, fucking TMI, right? Yes. But I just kind of feel like the midlife vagina is so much a part of this journey. This whole episode is not going to be about that. But you and I had this kind of funny, interesting conversation about how you built your midlife rebuilt.

Wendy Euler (00:04:16) - Rebuilt, rebuilt Kiki, your vintage.

*Sarah Milken * (00:04:19) - Vagina. And I was like, oh my God, we have to talk about that on my podcast.

Wendy Euler (00:04:23) - Yeah.

*Sarah Milken * (00:04:24) - And so we've been planning trying to get you here. Yes. You're from Montana. You're living in Montana. It's fucking freezing there. Come to LA.

Wendy Euler (00:04:33) - Thank you.

*Sarah Milken * (00:04:34) - Little toasty. You're here. Yeah. Um, even though it is winter, I'm still sweating.

*Sarah Milken * (00:04:39) - Are you sweating?

Wendy Euler (00:04:39) - I always sweat when I'm like, you know, in this situation.

*Sarah Milken * (00:04:43) - So hard, I feel like I even put on, like, all cotton denim on denim to, like, soak up all the extra moisture.

Wendy Euler (00:04:52) - So lots of sweat in the mid life.

*Sarah Milken * (00:04:54) - Yeah. So we're going to talk about we're going to let's start with that. Since it's kind of the edgiest the kind of topic that most people don't talk about. Okay, I know you have your podcast called Cropped and Midlife Minute. It used to be called Goodbye Crop Top. Yeah. And now you have changed it over to a short format, which is which I love for the midlife brain. It's like, okay, I have eight minutes, actually.

Wendy Euler (00:05:19) - Say, what.

*Sarah Milken * (00:05:20) - You got to fucking say?

Wendy Euler (00:05:21) - Brush your teeth, put on your serum. You're done. Yeah, mine's.

*Sarah Milken * (00:05:24) - Like the opposite. Mine's like 15 hours.

Wendy Euler (00:05:26) - It's like you have to listen to it in 30 parts. There's room for both. We need.

Wendy Euler (00:05:29) - We need all of it. So I love it. Yeah.

*Sarah Milken * (00:05:32) - So I listened to your episode on your podcast. The situation is situated.

Wendy Euler (00:05:38) - The situation is situated.

*Sarah Milken * (00:05:40) - Whereas I would have just been like the midlife vagina.

Wendy Euler (00:05:44) - Let's talk about vintage vagina.

*Sarah Milken * (00:05:46) - Vintage vagina.

Wendy Euler (00:05:47) - Yeah.

*Sarah Milken * (00:05:47) - So tell us kind of how you got your vintage vagina, how you recognize that that was not, quote, normal and how you decided to fix it, because I think there's so many of us out there who are like, wait, me too.

Wendy Euler (00:06:02) - Right? For sure. And I learned that after this episode, this situation is situated that there are so many women who have, you know, sort of things have fallen apart after kids and menopause and whatever, whatever the situation is that that gets you there. But I personally had three babies, three daughters and 21, 19 and nine. They are now. But so one much later in life at 46 and that last one coming through, I call it the watermelon through the straw.

Wendy Euler (00:06:31) - That last watermelon that came through the straw really did some damage. First of all, you're not supposed to be having a baby at 46, so there's so much going on. My body's probably just like like what is happening. So what's just something that always, just never felt right, you know, in yoga pants, walking down the street. And it was absolutely, you know, as I said on my podcast, you know, when the the guy says, did you watch your baby come out? And he's like, no, dude, that's like watching your favorite pub burn down, right? And take that for what you will. Yeah. Tongue in cheek and but but it's kind of true. You know, I had this, like, mangled situation down there and so you could.

*Sarah Milken * (00:07:13) - See, oh, it didn't look the.

Wendy Euler (00:07:15) - Same. It didn't feel the same. It didn't look the same. So it wasn't only aesthetic, it was the whole situation down there. Just it just didn't feel good.

*Sarah Milken * (00:07:24) - And how long did you sort of feel like, oh, my God, there's something not right here.

Wendy Euler (00:07:29) - Yeah. Well, you know, you, I think you feel that way after a child in general. I don't know about everyone else, but. Yeah.

*Sarah Milken * (00:07:37) - So I have different issues. Okay. But my parts were are together.

Wendy Euler (00:07:40) - Yeah.

*Sarah Milken * (00:07:41) - Well, they may not be voiced, but.

Wendy Euler (00:07:44) - Yeah, well, you know, there's stuff for that I.

*Sarah Milken * (00:07:47) - No, no, I have done that in. Are you kidding.

Wendy Euler (00:07:49) - Oh good.

*Sarah Milken * (00:07:49) - Yeah I put that shit in twice a week. There you go.

Wendy Euler (00:07:52) - There you go. There you go. That works. Whatever works. It's such a personal thing. And so it actually took me a really long time to talk about it because I just was like, should I, should I not? And then I and my editor for the podcast that, you know, co-writes with me and, and it's my stuff just said, you are you're not doing your what you set out to do if you don't talk about this because this is.

Wendy Euler (00:08:14) - You say this is one of the greatest things you've ever done, and you're not going to share that? You know? And it really dawned on me that she's right. Right. I have to be. Really. That's right, that's right. And talk about the uncomfortable things and some of the private things. And so yeah, so I decided to do something about it. And I went and so there's, you know, vaginal reconstructive surgery, it's vaginoplasty. And then there's labia plasti. So there's one that's internal and one that's aesthetic and external. And I went in for the first one and for some reason in my mind and probably me not listening. And I'm a pretty diligent person, especially when it comes to medical things. But I was just so excited to get this done. And I came out of the surgery and I'm like, oh my God. And I looked in the.

*Sarah Milken * (00:08:59) - Yoga.

Wendy Euler (00:09:00) - Oh, I mean, I got like, I'm gonna wear the tightest little like whatever. And I look in the mirror and I'm like, whoa, wait a minute.

Wendy Euler (00:09:08) - Like, it looks the same, you know, it looks the same. And I'm going, what? What happened? So I called the doctor and and she said, Wendy, we thoroughly explain this to you that this is two surgeries. You know, you do this one first. You can do them all at once, but it's a lot on your body. And so and then so I was like, mom, mom, mom, you know okay. Well the so that was fixed. And then six years later I went back for the other portion.

*Sarah Milken * (00:09:37) - Six years.

Wendy Euler (00:09:38) - Where there were just fits and starts and canceled appointments. And I moved to Montana and my doctor's in Seattle. And anyway, so finally I went back and had the next part done. And then and it is it is just one of the. You know, because I want to be clear, like everyone says to me, oh, aging gracefully and naturally and whatever and all that. Like that doesn't mean I don't believe in taking measures to make yourself feel better or look better.

Wendy Euler (00:10:06) - Whether it's that or whether it's Botox here, because you have those really deep creases between your face. I, I, I support anything that makes a woman genuinely have a spring in her step and feel better. And this definitely put a spring back in my step and made me feel better. Just made me feel, you know, more put together.

*Sarah Milken * (00:10:29) - Because I think part of my platform too is doing you whatever that is. Like I wear makeup, I do Botox, I do all those things. You know, when I get gray hair, that's the one thing I don't have. My mom still doesn't have great hair. Oh, really crazy.

Wendy Euler (00:10:44) - Yeah.

*Sarah Milken * (00:10:44) - It's weird. I think it's like a genetic thing. Yeah, but I just feel like as long as you're doing you and you're not judging other people for what they're doing, aging gracefully is just being happy in your own skin. That's right. Whatever it takes for you to get there and feel that way and letting everyone else do their own fucking thing.

Wendy Euler (00:11:06) - That's it. It's a feeling. It's an attitude. It's a it's it's the way you treat people. It's the way you live. If you get Botox, it doesn't mean you're not aging gracefully. To me, I just and I've tried. Maybe you can help me with this. I'm trying to think of a phrase that's better. I did an interview yesterday, and I keep saying like, I don't care what you do, I don't pay attention, I don't care. But that sounds so awful. It's not that I don't care, but it's just like, I.

*Sarah Milken * (00:11:31) - Just think of it as doing people.

Wendy Euler (00:11:33) - Be.

*Sarah Milken * (00:11:33) - Choose you, do you, whatever that is. And don't don't judge other people for what they're doing. Don't be the.

Wendy Euler (00:11:39) - Car mom.

*Sarah Milken * (00:11:40) - Who's like, shit, she's wearing makeup in carpool. It's like, hey, if I want to wear makeup and carpool. And I woke up ten minutes earlier, why do you give a shit?

Wendy Euler (00:11:50) - Yeah. And I think the second you start judging and comparing and those two go together hand in hand to me.

Wendy Euler (00:11:56) - But there's some. Why are you doing that? That's what you really need to be questioning.

*Sarah Milken * (00:12:01) - Why do I care that?

Wendy Euler (00:12:03) - Why, why, why do I care? I, I, I really put my head down and stay in my own space and I'm sort of going off the vagina now, but I think, I think this is important areas of midlife. I think I, you know, and. That people have asked me and I've said this before, but but like, who are your competitors and who are you? I don't know, I don't look around like I look at someone like you, Sara and I go, this is someone who I need to collaborate with because the louder the voice gets, there's no competition, no, I feel zero. I feel happy when you can connect with other women and magnify and, you know, get the voice louder. It helps more people, you know. And on my podcast, in the beginning, especially when I had the long format and I was doing a lot of interviews, I asked a couple people and they said, no, I kind of consider you a and I just thought, what on earth?

*Sarah Milken * (00:13:00) - I'm like, bring them on, baby.

Wendy Euler (00:13:02) - That. And it's a joint voice.

*Sarah Milken * (00:13:04) - Yeah. And everyone has a different vibe, a different flavor. Yeah. You know, there's there are podcasts who midlife podcasts that are more traditional and they don't use the F-bomb every five seconds. Like me. They're not oversharing vagina stories, all the things. And there's so many listeners out there, and there's so many different voices in the midlife space that there's a voice for everyone. Hear it your own. And if I'm not like your own, you're not the right choice. There's a million more. But get that information however you want it. Yeah.

Wendy Euler (00:13:36) - That's right, that's right. And I think, you know, you just we're just too old to compare and judge anymore. We just are. And it makes things so hard, you know, and makes your own life so hard when you waste any time doing that. And in this conversation I had yesterday, I just said my life is now about round pegs. Round holes, round peg, round hole, easy ease.

Wendy Euler (00:14:03) - I am never going to try to jam something in a space, or make something hard, or talk about someone else because it's just. I'm just done.

*Sarah Milken * (00:14:14) - Yeah, right. It has to be easy. And it's it's interesting because I actually just put out an episode today, a solo episode talking about the title of it is Hard and Good, and that's instead of having a word for 2024, it's like a mantra for myself. It's reminding myself that things in midlife are hard and good. Yes, there are going to be things that are hard, but they're also good. Like, I hate lifting weights. I find it to be a pain in my fucking ass. I called them the dumb but necessary weights. It's hard for me to get myself to do it, but at the same time, it's good. I know that it's good for my brain. I know that it's good for my bones. And it's. Marriage is hard, but it's good too. Parenting is fucking hard.

Wendy Euler (00:15:01) - It's so.

*Sarah Milken * (00:15:01) - Hard. But it's good. It's the best, you know? So it's one of those things where it's like, we all have our heart in good. And I love the idea of things being easy, and I try to live my life like that now, too. It's like if a podcast guest, if it's becoming impossible to schedule or to make something happen, I'm like, not worth it. Like, again, it's like round peg, round hole.

Wendy Euler (00:15:27) - But part of the round peg round hole is accepting that things are hard. It's not easy. I'm not paying the picture like, oh, wake up every day and fuck no, like my life is crazy. And I've had a particularly bad two weeks. You know, I'm not going to sit here and go, oh, everything's perfect as you age and whatever the round peg, round hole is being comfortable with loss. Like, I think the most important thing we can do as we age is understand how to embrace loss. Loss of collagen, loss of hair, loss of ass height, loss of people you know, loss of relevant loss of loss of things, loss of relationships, loss of your kids when they go off to college or whatever it is like.

Wendy Euler (00:16:14) - You have to find a way to adapt and adopt new mechanisms, or.

*Sarah Milken * (00:16:21) - You throw in the towel.

Wendy Euler (00:16:22) - Or you throw in the towel. So when I say round peg, round hole, I want to be really clear that it's it's hard and good. And when you accept that and when you accept loss, your gain is tremendous. Yeah.

*Sarah Milken * (00:16:34) - It's just the work that's involved. And that's the thing. It's like when people are like, what are your intentions for 2024? I'm like, my intentions like to get through the fucking day. Yeah, exactly. You know, to not every day is this happy, glossy, fluffy day. Sometimes you wake up and you're like, I feel like, ah, it's like, yeah, I don't feel like working out. I'm super cranky. Like, last night, my dog licked his paws all fucking night, and I kept hitting my husband, like, can you deal with this? And he's like, trying. He puts a cone on him. The dog's panting.

*Sarah Milken * (00:17:05) - Should happen. Should happen. You know, and especially like in this perimenopause menopause time, so much of it is out of our control. Like the hormones, the the psychology. You're out of your skin.

Wendy Euler (00:17:17) - You're out of your brain.

*Sarah Milken * (00:17:18) - Yeah, but then it's. The same time. There's so many fabulous cities too. And that's kind of what I talk about in my stuff, is embracing the Uggs and the fabulous cities of midlife, because at that time, for hard and good like personal growth, you don't get growth without something being a pain in the ass. Most of the time, if it's easy, it's not worth doing. That's right. You know?

Wendy Euler (00:17:44) - That's right. That's always the case. You know, I mean, occasionally you get a little a little gift here and there, but yeah, I mean, you have to put in the work. And that's why, you know, some people are to me like, oh, it must be easy for you and must be. No, I get my ass up and I work hard on every aspect of my life.

Wendy Euler (00:18:01) - You know, it's not easy. It's not easy. And that's why I don't get on my Instagram and go look at me, on my thing, with my stuff and my. Because that is not my life. You know, if you saw me day to day. Yeah. You may not have invited me to come on this visual. On this visual, uh, podcast.

*Sarah Milken * (00:18:19) - Oh, it's you're always invited. No, I feel the same way. And I think that's why I think that with my platform, I've sort of gone into the relatability factor. It's like, yeah, I put on makeup. I try to pull my shit together 90% of the time, but then there's days where I'm like, I was in fucking pajamas all day today. I did not work out. I ate carbs the whole day. I did not hit protein goals and all this.

Wendy Euler (00:18:45) - I can't be bothered. Like, how did we ever survive? How did people survive? How did George Burns survive? Like, I bet he didn't hit his protein.

Wendy Euler (00:18:53) - No, you may not even know who he is, but yeah, but like, seriously, like, how did people ever fucking survive without their 9,000,000 ounce Stanley Cup? I know walking around, you know, like God. Back to basics. People like back to basics. Hard and simple.

*Sarah Milken * (00:19:09) - I don't have like people say, well, like, how do you stay so looking so young and how do you. I'm like, there's no fucking secrets. It's like I work out when I can. I don't work out all the time. I drink as much water as I can tolerate, but I'm not going to like, die over it. And I think for me, another mantra in my midlife journey has been what's my good enough? Um, what areas have I hit? You know what? This is good enough. Yeah, I for you.

Wendy Euler (00:19:40) - Stop looking out. Stop comparing yourself to, like.

*Sarah Milken * (00:19:43) - For 30 minutes. I didn't really break a sweat, but I got some steps in. I actually move my body today, and I think kind of figuring out what you're good enough is and what things you really want to excel in.

*Sarah Milken * (00:19:56) - And test yourself and challenge yourself and push yourself outside of the box. But then other things you're like. Okay. I'm good.

Wendy Euler (00:20:04) - That's all. Stop comparing. Just look in what feels good to you. What? And I wanted to touch on something you were talking about earlier. You know, about, like, happiness and this waking up every day and whatever, and I don't. I don't even say that anymore. Like happy is fleeting. Elusive, quite frankly. Here and gone. Happy moments. Happy, right. Inspiration. Common comes and goes. Motivation comes and goes. But what you can have every day, I really believe that is attainable is peace and somehow find peace. That is your thread. That is what you hold on to when things get crazy. When things get messy, take a breath, go do a meditation. And you know, and like I'm so over the minute self-care and meditation and all this shit that's commodified now and every everything is just being thrown at us. And I think it's paralyzing.

Wendy Euler (00:21:02) - I think it's paralyzing the options that we have now. You've got to tune that out. Look inside. You know, like I said, in this one of my podcast episodes, which was called Fast Fashion for Your Face, I'm I'm tired of it. I'm tired of the commodification of everything. I'm tired of everyone preying on you, trying to make you feel tired, more tired than you even are, or more sick. Like, just stop, take a minute, look in, get personal, you know? And do you need 64 multivitamins and 25 supplements? And no. Again, how did people survive? They did right. Like go to your doctor, get your blood work done. Where are you deficient amp up right there, like so. Just it's just overwhelming to me. And I'm going off on a tangent now. So I'm pretty fired up about this. But I think it's all tied into piece. It's all tied into. Living a you know your own authentic life, living your own purpose, not someone else's.

Wendy Euler (00:22:06) - Like.

*Sarah Milken * (00:22:07) - Yeah. And it's like, even if you took like, the spinning craze, I had so many friends who were spinning and I'm like, okay, I did that once, and that was really uncomfortable for me. And my butt hurt, and it was too hard and it was too loud on my nervous system, like, I'm not doing that. Yeah, and I'm okay with that. Just because everyone else is doing it doesn't mean that I'm going to do that to like, for me, it's like walking on the treadmill. It's walking outside. It's low impact stuff, like high impact stuff for me because I'm already a high stress person. Makes me more anxious. Yeah. So I have to pick things that work for my nervous system. And there's so much out there. It's like intermittent fast. Don't intermittent fast, do this, do that. And I feel like that's kind of what I try to do in my podcast. And you do too. It's like, hey you guys, there's so much information out there.

*Sarah Milken * (00:22:56) - Try a few things, see what works, stick with that and just be okay. Like you said, be it easy, be peaceful because there's always going to be something better. There's always going to be something newer, always going to be something different. And it's like, it never ends.

Wendy Euler (00:23:13) - Yeah, it never ends. And in the midst of all the stuff being thrown at you and jammed down your throat. Always go back to less is more. But I do like the fewer.

*Sarah Milken * (00:23:25) - Better of taking action to like you're like, okay, my vagina's hanging out. I have all this extra skin and stuff and it doesn't look right and it doesn't feel right. And I'm sure it didn't feel great. Like and you just said, okay, I'm done with this and I'm going to fix it. Yeah.

Wendy Euler (00:23:42) - So I think caveat like I'm lucky that I can afford to go do that. I get that. So but I'm telling you ladies, it's worth saving your shekels for this surgery. It's worth saving your second shock.

*Sarah Milken * (00:23:56) - To the the vintage vagina. How what was the process like for you? Like I mean, was it painful? Was quick. Like what was the recovery? Because I know we didn't talk about that.

Wendy Euler (00:24:07) - I it was not that bad. So the first one, the internal part, you know, you kind of have to sit on a donut for a couple of days and no sex for six weeks. It's just like after having a baby or whatever. And in midlife.

*Sarah Milken * (00:24:20) - You're like, okay, bye bye bye bye sex. It was not.

Wendy Euler (00:24:22) - Too painful at all, but I'm a good patient. I follow protocol, I do what's asked of me and I, you know, by the doctors. And I have a pretty high pain threshold. I think that was not bad. And then same with the labia plastic. It was like it wasn't that bad and I knew what the outcome was going to be. So I was so excited just to, you know, get through it. But no, it's not that bad.

*Sarah Milken * (00:24:47) - So you would say that it's helped you in terms of like how it aesthetically looks like.

Wendy Euler (00:24:53) - I feel it right now sitting here as we're talking about I'm like, this is oh, this is good. This is different. I don't know, my underwear feel different. I actually want to buy cute underwear now.

*Sarah Milken * (00:25:02) - Before it was a lot of extra skin.

Wendy Euler (00:25:04) - There's a lot of stuff going on down there. I called it my mangled starfish. I mean, my editor and I used to, like, fall to the floor laughing about. She's like, well, what's it? I'm like, well, one side of it's purple and like, dangly, and then the other is kind of intact, but it's like this thing and then it's like, I don't know. And I mean, yeah, it just it feels different. Look, that is the center of the universe, you know? And it feels better.

*Sarah Milken * (00:25:31) - And the sex. How's that?

Wendy Euler (00:25:32) - Good. Better. Better. Lots better. And I think because you feel good about yourself too, you know.

Wendy Euler (00:25:39) - And to that point. Most of my responses from women. And there were a lot after this. Who's your doctor? Who's your doctor? Were women who were divorced or out of a relationship, who were wanting to date again, and so terrified of taking their clothes off in front of a man again because it's like, okay, I had three kids. I had two kids, you know? And like, now I really want to say the right man or the right partner won't care. And I get all that, and that's true. But you.

*Sarah Milken * (00:26:09) - Care.

Wendy Euler (00:26:10) - I care like the confidence it would give. And that those were great conversations to have with these women. Like, I'm going back into the dating world. Do you think it would help? I said 100%, if you can do this, go do it. You're going to be like, can I can get you a glass of water? I mean, like, can I, like, can I spring across the room and do it.

Wendy Euler (00:26:31) - Yeah. It's it's it's good. So and I know my editor was right. I would have been remiss if I didn't talk about this, because I know it's already helped to at least a handful of women.

*Sarah Milken * (00:26:41) - What was your hesitation and not wanting to talk about it like it was just you felt like it was kind of private?

Wendy Euler (00:26:45) - Yeah. And oddly. Even though I put myself out there. I'm pretty private and a lot of ways.

*Sarah Milken * (00:26:53) - So speaking of a private matter. Speaking of privacy, obviously social media has kind of taken over the world in so many ways. How do you feel about social media and how do you use it, and how do you integrate it into your life and make it feel good?

Wendy Euler (00:27:11) - Yeah, I love this question because having three daughters, 21 to 19 and now nine, up and coming, wanting a phone every ten minutes and I'm like, you're not getting one. So it's been interesting monitoring that. And when I first started this, which is going on seven years ago, my friend said we have to have Instagram.

Wendy Euler (00:27:28) - And I was like, over my I'm never going to have Instagram. She goes, well what? Like you think people are just going to wake up and know you're writing about midlife? Like you've got to have Instagram. And so and that's ended up being a great tool for me and I'm grateful for that. But for me personally, I'm extremely thoughtful. About how I use it, and I have learned so much about it since I started this. You know, about what works and what resonates and what you know I can throw up the most. I'm pretty visceral on there. I go by like, oh, today I feel like doing this. So I put it up or this, this work I do.

*Sarah Milken * (00:28:03) - You have a social media plan? I'm like, no, it's same.

Wendy Euler (00:28:06) - And I've tried and I'm like, I fail, I know, can you put this on and do it? No pains me. I mean, so I'm really and I've learned that those very visceral moments when I feel like this is this resonated with me.

Wendy Euler (00:28:21) - I'm going to throw this up and see. It's like boom, boom, boom, boom, boom and starts conversation. And so I've learned to follow my gut with it. I think that's the most important thing and not be contrived. I'm so tired of I'm very disturbed by content on social media now of people. And to each their own. And I sound like I'm judging now, but like to me it is not motivating for a woman in the Midwest who's trying to get her shit together or wherever else she is, and trying to get her life back. To see someone jumping off a mega yacht after they've had a really expensive bottle of champagne with their 90 million rich. Like that to me, is more toxic than anything for a woman who. Doesn't live that life, but has every capability and every capacity of looking in and and finding her passion that she maybe had once in her life or something else. I'm not making very good sense here, but like, it makes sense.

*Sarah Milken * (00:29:22) - It's the haves and the have nots.

Wendy Euler (00:29:23) - It's it's like lives on show. To me, that doesn't work for me anymore. And I don't want to be that. So I want to offer something that inspires you, whether it's words or a photo or whatever. And that's how I want to use social media. I've said no to 90% of all brand deals that have ever come my way, because it doesn't feel good. You know, I was just offered a gazillion dollars to and all the time they come in boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Can you? And my engagement is really high. I'm 100% women, 35 to 60. I have the deep pockets. I've got, you know, so it's pretty desirable for brands. And I'm not meaning to toot my own horn here. But for example, I was just offered a deal from a hair removal thing device. I don't have hair. I'm not a hairy person. Right? I just have, like, three hairs under my I don't even I barely even have to shave, so.

Wendy Euler (00:30:20) - And we must have some of the same genetics. Yeah. No, Greg, I.

*Sarah Milken * (00:30:23) - Know I'm like, I have, like, almost no body hair.

Wendy Euler (00:30:25) - Yeah. And I'm like, I. And they wanted me to get in my feed and put a post up of how I remove my hair. I'm like, I don't have hair, you know? And it was like 12 grand for a post. And I get that all the time. And I'm going, but I don't have hair, so I can't in good conscience. Like, what am I going to draw hair on me with a Sharpie and like try to do it? I mean, there are ways to do it. And then like, I've been offered a lot of like boxed hair color. Can you just pretend like you have grays and then like, do it? I'm like, no, I'm not going to do it. And so and beyond that, there's other good stuff and whatever. And I'm not saying I wouldn't do a very strategic, thoughtful brand deal.

Wendy Euler (00:31:03) - I would, but it would I just I'm never going to sell out to that. I'm tired of that. That is disturbing to me. When one week someone's holding up a cream that's the best in the world, and then the next week they're holding up. No, this is the best in the world. No, this is the best. And how is that believable?

*Sarah Milken * (00:31:20) - Yeah, I know, I, I'm in the same situation. People are like, well, why aren't you accepting like this, this and this? I'm like, because then I have to talk about it and I don't use that product. Yeah, like that doesn't feel good for me. Right. And so I'm very selective and I understand it because so much of my platform is like authenticity. Like, yes, this is the real Sarah. This is really what's happening in my fucking house. And this is what's going on. And if I don't stick with that, it doesn't feel good for me. Yeah. And I feel like one of the I don't know if it's, I guess one of the privileges of midlife, I feel like, is we've earned this right to do whatever the fuck we want and just be authentic to ourselves.

*Sarah Milken * (00:32:03) - And I think for me, there's the authenticity factor is the most important. Yeah. It's like, who are you? Yeah. And I think, no bullshit. Yeah. And I think that that's why people, you know, look at my Instagram or listen to my podcast, like, I might not be for everyone, but you're for me.

Wendy Euler (00:32:20) - I love you, and that's why I'm here. I mean, like, there's just such.

*Sarah Milken * (00:32:25) - It's like I'm going to tell you, like, the good stuff. I'm going to tell you the shitty stuff. And I'm going to be honest, like, okay, like today it was a good day. I like, worked out. I took my vitamin D, I did all my bullshit and like, tomorrow.

Wendy Euler (00:32:39) - Might eat carbs again all day. I don't know, I might have that third glass of wine which sends me into a carb loaded day. I don't know what's going to happen. Yeah, but I think not only to your point. Like we've earned the right.

Wendy Euler (00:32:51) - But I think most importantly, Sarah, we've gained the confidence to not care. Yeah, I don't care. I, I, I care a lot, but I don't care if you. If I'm not for you. You don't care if you're not I am no bullshit. Moving forward. Here's who I am. Here's who you that.

*Sarah Milken * (00:33:10) - Changed your friendships in midlife. Like have you become more selective with.

Wendy Euler (00:33:17) - Definitely I, I am extremely. Selective about. Who I hang around and I talk about this a lot, but. The company you keep is everything. It is everything. Who are you sitting across from? How does that person make you feel? What are they bringing to the conversation? What do you bring into the friendship? Um, reciprocity does have to be there. Um, I think you can have friends for different reasons, but I do think the common, the common thread of all friends, they have to have your back. I will not sit down with someone anymore. Who I have to watch what I say, or I can't tell them some part of my life because I'm nervous they're going to tell somebody else or I'm done with that.

Wendy Euler (00:34:01) - Um, I trust my friends. I trust the people who are in my life and and I love them. And I take my friendships very seriously. And I'm extremely loyal. And I've never told a secret, you know, I've never. And I've taught my daughters that the way to keep friends is to keep the confidence and, you know, don't ever have pleasure in talking bad about someone or or gossiping or I'm like, yeah. So the company you keep is everything. And as Will Smith said, like him or not, but are the people in your life putting logs on your fire or are they pissing on it like, bye?

*Sarah Milken * (00:34:42) - Yeah.

Wendy Euler (00:34:43) - And you have to do the same for them. But the company you keep is everything. I believe it is.

*Sarah Milken * (00:34:50) - Everything just feels like Paramount done little success. We've already done high school. Yeah. I mean, you have three daughters. I have one daughter. The girl vibe is just so different from so different vibe. It's like the boy vibe, like with my son.

*Sarah Milken * (00:35:04) - It's like, yeah, you can come sit with us. Like different kids showing up at the house. It's like anything goes, girls. It's just so much more divided. And I don't know, I don't know what that is. But my hope is that most women, by the time they get to our age or to mid life, they feel comfortable. They feel like they could sit down at any table or sit down at a table alone and be good with that. Because guess what I am like. My daughter said, oh, are you going to this event? Are you are you going to go with someone? I'm like, no, I'm going, I'm going by myself. Yeah. You know, and I said, I'm actually like, you like to my daughter. I'm like, I'm like uma. And like, I can show up somewhere by myself and be very comfortable with that. But not everyone can say that. You know, and I feel like that has been one of my, like, midlife sort of privileges to myself is like, I'm okay with whatever comes.

*Sarah Milken * (00:36:01) - Yeah.

Wendy Euler (00:36:02) - Me too. I've always been comfortable, I think, going in a room alone. I've traveled a lot from in my past career and always comfortable going to a restaurant by myself. You know, sitting by myself, eating. However, one time I was in London and I sat at a bar and had dinner and I was being approached by all these different men, I was like, well, I guess I must look good tonight, right? Can I buy you a drink? Can you? Do you want to come to dinner with me? Do you want to go out later? I'm like, whoa, right? So I'm like, thinking, that's all right. No, I'm married, but thank you. Yeah. And then I get on the train the next day to go to this conference. I had to go to outside of London. And I was telling this group of people, well, that's not I was kind of like the belle of the ball at the bar. And they're like, well, Wendy, that's where all the prostitutes hang out.

Wendy Euler (00:36:47) - Oh my God. I'm like, I could have I could have made a lot of money last night. Good. Yeah. But anyway, just a side note. Funny story, but yeah, I've always been comfortable with that. And I think what, you know, I'm good at self advocating in a lot of ways, but I'm bad at self-promotion or I want to talk about that too. But but I think that because I put up a picture of myself, because I'd been sent something or whatever, and sometimes I'd do trade like a blazer, like whatever. And, um, but then I'm like, oh, okay, I'm gonna put it up and like, I need to get better about that. Um, I love what Adam Grant said. I just caught the snippet of him, and he said, there is a very big difference. Now I'm going on another tangent, but there's a very big difference between self-promotion and promoting ideas.

*Sarah Milken * (00:37:38) - Yeah, I saw that.

Wendy Euler (00:37:39) - And I love that. And that just like that resonated with me because even my style posts are just ideas.

Wendy Euler (00:37:46) - It's not me going, hey, look at me. You know, it helps with the notion.

*Sarah Milken * (00:37:51) - Of impostor syndrome.

Wendy Euler (00:37:52) - It does. But what I was going to say is. I think because we feel this way, because we can walk in a room alone or go sit and have dinner, or we have to share that with you with all these people because it helps, you know, and we can be like a beacon for a lot of women and share that share. Ways to build confidence to, you know, learn to kick your asshole friends to the curb or whatever it might be because we're good at that.

*Sarah Milken * (00:38:25) - So I agree with you. And I also think it's there are times when you're doing uncomfortable things. You're saying yes to things that maybe you don't 100 not that you philosophically disagree with, but like sometimes I'm like, oh, I don't want to go to that event, but I know that I'm going to meet someone great. Like the event that I went to and I met you like I met like, amazing people that day.

*Sarah Milken * (00:38:48) - Totally. Is it far away? Is it a pain in the ass to get to? Yes, all the things. But sometimes when you take that chance and you go that extra mile and you do show up like it's like synchronicity sliding doors, it is this person and this happens and this happens. And so many of us are craving novelty and change. But that can't happen unless we're putting ourselves in those situations.

Wendy Euler (00:39:12) - That's right. And moments like that event have changed my my life. They've changed the course of this, of what I'm doing, the friendships I've made from things where I've just gone, okay, I'm just going to go and then and the doors are closing, the dinner's over and I start talking to, yeah, you know, years and years ago, I started talking to Elise Lunin, who's become one of my close friends. Right. Like, it's like, what are the odds? Like it just. Yes. Forcing yourself through that. But I think. What we have by being able to go places alone, by forcing is we're open, right? There's an openness to people who do that.

Wendy Euler (00:39:48) - We're not closed, we're open. We're open for business. We're open for new friendships. And I used to be sort of anti new friendship because I have friends of 40 years, 30 years. Right. That I really I like to take care of these friendships and do I have enough energy. And but what I've learned is it gives you more energy. And the past 6 or 7 years I've been really open to new look me to you and me right here. Right. And, and and what that gives you. But. You have to stay open. It doesn't mean you have to do everything.

*Sarah Milken * (00:40:20) - Say yes to.

Wendy Euler (00:40:20) - Everything. We say no to 90% of things. But like you.

*Sarah Milken * (00:40:23) - But it's like there are certain things where you're like, I'm going to push myself and I'm going to fly to New York, and I'm going to go to this thing, and I'm going to whatever. And you pick and choose and sometimes things work out great, and sometimes you're like, oh, that was kind of like a and that's okay, that's okay.

*Sarah Milken * (00:40:39) - But sometimes kids that too, it's right. You know, I always say to my kids like, oh, did you or you want to take a painting class, do you want to play soccer or do you? But we don't put those same standards on ourselves of like, trying the new thing. Yeah. It's hard.

Wendy Euler (00:40:53) - Yeah, it is hard.

*Sarah Milken * (00:40:54) - And you have to be willing to take those risks. Yeah.

Wendy Euler (00:40:58) - And trying new things is important doesn't mean you have to stick with them. But I mean too, since you brought up trying new things as we age, I think we've got to we've got to push ourselves. You know, I'm not.

*Sarah Milken * (00:41:10) - I'm not good at trying new.

Wendy Euler (00:41:11) - Things. And I've been I've been really bad at it as of late. I was really good. And in the past couple of years I've just been not. But I'm going to I'm going to start trying new things again. And someone just asked me if you could have one talent you know, that you don't have.

Wendy Euler (00:41:27) - And I thought, I, I don't say I can't anymore. So I said, I want to dance. I want to learn how to dance. I want to be like, you know, Juliana Hoff and Amanda, I watched them. I can just I'm like, and who's that guy that Jason Williams? Yeah, I mean.

*Sarah Milken * (00:41:43) - I can't.

Wendy Euler (00:41:44) - And I just swoon. And I just watched these dances and like, I want to dance. But the old me would have said to this question, I can't dance, but I yeah, I can. You can do whatever you want to do. I mean.

*Sarah Milken * (00:41:56) - You may not be really.

Wendy Euler (00:41:57) - Amazing within reason. What are you saying? I've got I've got moves. Um, no. So I, you know, but go try new things. So I'm looking at my daughter, just my littlest just started dance, and I'm like, I might take a hip hop class. You know, I might hate it, I might be, they may laugh me out of the room, but, you know, go try.

Wendy Euler (00:42:14) - Yeah. Go try things. Try new things.

*Sarah Milken * (00:42:17) - I don't want to forget to ask you this, because I know that you and I share this, and a lot of women share this. But. Empty nest. This fly is eating me. Um. Empty nest. How has that been for you?

Wendy Euler (00:42:28) - Well, I have the.

*Sarah Milken * (00:42:29) - Nine year old. You have the nine year old, but the two older ones that have taken up most of your adult life are gone now.

Wendy Euler (00:42:37) - Hard, I hate it. And they were both just home for Christmas. And then, you know, one's first year in college, one's going to finish college soon. And so this was the first holiday. They were home at the same time, which was amazing. But I was like, oh my God, that means they're going to leave at the same time. And not only is it hard for me, but their little sister is in a puddle. She just she just wants them around all the time, you know? And so that puts a whole other level of sadness on it for me.

Wendy Euler (00:43:06) - But my oldest just sent me a meme of this mother, sort of flat out on a table, like with some Air Supply, the song playing, you know, because her kids just and she goes, this is so my mom, my mom, you know, and I try to be strong and but it's really hard. It's it's really hard. But. There just comes a time and I'm so proud of them. And I know what amazing people they are that I've let go of these two incredibly strong, far stronger than me, and definitely than I was at that age. And smart and capable and kind and giving and wonderful humans. So I try to just think about that. You know, I've still got a long way to go with a nine year old, and I'm going to be 56 in a few weeks.

*Sarah Milken * (00:43:55) - That is just some crazy.

Wendy Euler (00:43:56) - Shit that just exhausted.

*Sarah Milken * (00:43:58) - Three daughters.

Wendy Euler (00:43:59) - I know my friends.

*Sarah Milken * (00:44:00) - Are all under a table. I have.

Wendy Euler (00:44:02) - Two girl dogs, three but my poor husband, I.

*Sarah Milken * (00:44:04) - Have one daughter and like, that's enough for me. Yeah, like that's a lot of estrogen. Like me her together and and I have a good one. Yeah. You know.

Wendy Euler (00:44:14) - I've got good ones too. And it's been like, um, you know, but my 21 year old is really coming to. How old? Your daughter.

*Sarah Milken * (00:44:23) - My daughter is 17. My son is just left for college in August. He's 19.

Wendy Euler (00:44:28) - Okay I know and sons boys and their mamas. It's I have I had all brothers so and then I know and then I had all girls it. I thought for sure I was going to have old boys. But you go through some stuff with your daughters for sure. You know, I just it's it's hard, but my 21 year old and my 19 year old, but, um, 21 is different. I've seen a switch go on into adulthood and and she's just softened and she's coming out of that, you know, sort of. The twisted tornadoes that are going on the frontal lobes.

Wendy Euler (00:45:03) - Oh, maybe not flapping quite much anymore. Are you the wrong way? Yeah.

*Sarah Milken * (00:45:07) - Exactly. Like what? Like I just walked into the room last night. I was chewing, and my teeth hit the fork accidentally. That was really disturbing her. Yeah, that, like, center almost over the.

Wendy Euler (00:45:20) - How dare you breathe.

*Sarah Milken * (00:45:21) - Yeah. So I was like, okay, so I'll just go like my pasta in the other room if you want. Or you can just take a chill pill. And I mean.

Wendy Euler (00:45:29) - They grow out of it and then they're so beyond into you and committed to you. And she is now. It's just that you know where their place they they know we're never going to not love them. They know I'm ever going to not leave them so they can come home and be whoever.

*Sarah Milken * (00:45:43) - Oh my God, my daughter came out on my ass last night like chewing on the fork. And then two seconds later, she walks in my room and she's like asking me, oh, tomorrow, can you do this, this and this? I'm like, you're just handing me my ass exactly seconds ago.

Wendy Euler (00:45:58) - I love it. After they hand you your ass and then they come in. Mommy. Yeah. I'm like, why are you. What? What do you want? How much? How much do you.

*Sarah Milken * (00:46:06) - Yeah. She's like, you know, those eyedrops that I've needed for my dry eyes? Like they're sold out everywhere. Can you find them tomorrow? I'm like, aha. Yeah, yeah. If you're nice.

Wendy Euler (00:46:15) - Let me give.

*Sarah Milken * (00:46:15) - You another, like, try to, like, turn on the charm. Fake it to make it if you do. Yeah okay. Marriage in emptiness. How's that?

Wendy Euler (00:46:23) - That's also been an adjustment. Hmm. Um, I know, but we have the nine year old again, so I don't know if I'm the best example. I definitely feel the emptiness deeply with the second one gone, but we've still got the nine year old. We've got dance and lacrosse and, you know, we're still doing all that. So kind of keeps us busy. I think, you know, well, by the time she leaves, we're both going to be on crab walkers, like, you know, don't worry, I'll come visit.

Wendy Euler (00:46:47) - I don't know exactly. I'm going to be at her high school graduation, like, oh, there's my mom. Great. You know, um, so. But it's fine. Everything's adjustment. Like I said, like I said earlier today. You got to be comfortable with loss or you're not going to be comfortable. And success.

*Sarah Milken * (00:47:07) - Change will.

Wendy Euler (00:47:08) - Change and loss. Yeah. Or you're never going to be comfortable aging.

*Sarah Milken * (00:47:13) - I think one of my biggest takeaways in midlife thus far would try try to convey to as many women as I can, because I feel like it took me too long to learn. It is realizing that no one is coming to save you. That's right. And if you're looking for an answer on Instagram or Google or a friend or a spouse or whatever, someone's going to come to you and be like, I have this great idea to make your life better. It's never happening. No, no. And if you want something, you have to create it for yourself. Yes, you.

Wendy Euler (00:47:48) - Do, and you can take bits and pieces from other people.

*Sarah Milken * (00:47:51) - Oh yeah, and.

Wendy Euler (00:47:52) - Build your own blueprint.

*Sarah Milken * (00:47:54) - But if you think there's going to be an answer, and I think a lot of us think that there's going to be an answer, like an easy way to work out, an easy way to find a.

Wendy Euler (00:48:02) - $600 cream that you know is total snake oil and bullshit in a jar. Yeah, that's never going to make your neck tighter. Sorry, I don't know.

*Sarah Milken * (00:48:12) - I always say, like, I think I secretly, like, wish that my husband was going to be like, okay, so the kids are older and I've been thinking it would be really great for you to start a podcast. No. Like, yeah, he's busy with his own life, doing his own career, playing golf, and he has like 4000 fucking hobbies. He's like the hobbyist. That's like, you got to cut down on hobbies. You're killing me. Exactly. You're making me look like I have, like, no brains, Cassidy.

*Sarah Milken * (00:48:39) - Like, oh, my God. But I just I think I secretly hope for him to rescue me from boredom. Yeah. And irrelevance and feeling like what's next for me. And I think, I wish I had known sooner that it was all on me. And that's not a bad thing. It's a good thing. Self-responsibility is a good thing. We teach it to our children. But I think sometimes by the time we get to midlife, we've been so focused on our kids and making their lives the best we possibly can, that sometimes we've kind of like put ourselves a little bit on the back burner, and then it's sort of like, well, some people.

Wendy Euler (00:49:15) - Kind.

*Sarah Milken * (00:49:16) - Of are better at it than others. Yeah, but I think there's a certain point where you're just like, you know what? I have to take responsibility for this. No one is coming to work out for me. No one is going to think of a passion hobby for me. No one's going to create a there's.

Wendy Euler (00:49:32) - No youth in a jar. There's no fountain of youth.

*Sarah Milken * (00:49:35) - There's no. And it's not to be negative. It's just to say, hey, guys, like it's a lot of fucking work and we're all doing it and we're all in this together. I mean, there are some days I wake up and I'm like, I can't do my podcast for one more minute. It's so hard. It's so many things. It's so much responsibility. And then the next day I wake up, I'm like, I fucking love my podcast. You know? I have six guests coming up. And that's the thing is that knowing everything is temporary. Your feelings of like, oh, temporary. Whether it's a day, a week, a month, a few months, they're going to come and go.

Wendy Euler (00:50:10) - That's right. All of it.

*Sarah Milken * (00:50:13) - What's your biggest piece of advice for midlife women before we wrap up?

Wendy Euler (00:50:18) - Midlife is an interesting word to me. I know I'm sitting here. I'm 56. I'm pretty sure I'm not going to live to 112.

Wendy Euler (00:50:24) - So I think I'm like way past it. Midlife, sadly, can be 25. It can be, you know, so I think so. I think about that a lot. I think about that word.

*Sarah Milken * (00:50:35) - And I hate that word. But the only reason I stuck with it is I was trying to come up with other terms like second half of life, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, you know what? Most people know what midlife is, so I'm just going to stick with that because it's searchable. I don't mean it's searchable.

Wendy Euler (00:50:52) - No, no, no, I mean, it's.

*Sarah Milken * (00:50:54) - It's kind of like people catch it.

Wendy Euler (00:50:56) - It's you can grasp it. You can grasp it because it's it's empty nest, divorce, menopause, all these things happen. Vagina, midlife, vagina rebuilds all this stuff good and bad. So. I think. And I and I say this a lot and I'm going to get to your question, but that I am not doing my job and I am not doing my job if I am not reaching back to younger generations of women saying, come on, guys like and giving them something to look forward to and not dread.

Wendy Euler (00:51:27) - I think that's my biggest I want to leave that legacy. I want to help younger women. Yes, everything is focused on sort of our age, my age, but I think the most important thing we can do is pave the way and, you know, sort of be pioneers in this space for the for the girls and the women coming up behind us. My biggest advice is I do like that. What you said no one's coming for you. Just know that no one's coming for you and and stop trying to be happy all the time because it's not attainable. It's not possible. Look for the peace. Embrace the change scientifically with your body. Embrace. And that doesn't mean don't get your frown lines or your.

*Sarah Milken * (00:52:17) - Vagina, or your.

Wendy Euler (00:52:18) - Vagina tightened up. But. Be okay with the.

*Sarah Milken * (00:52:23) - Change to drink water. I'm like dying.

Wendy Euler (00:52:25) - The whole time. Yeah? Yeah. So. Just. Just try to find some peace. Hang around with good people. Hang around with good people.

*Sarah Milken * (00:52:36) - I feel like midlife is.

*Sarah Milken * (00:52:39) - Hard and good. Mhm.

Wendy Euler (00:52:43) - Just like your podcast episode.

*Sarah Milken * (00:52:45) - Yeah. And I feel like with people like us and all the people that we meet and knowing that you're not alone, and I think that that's why our platforms resonate with women. Because it's like, what does that get me to like? I get so many comments on my Instagram, they're like, oh my God, did you read my mind today? Yeah, like that's how I'm feeling. Exactly. That's exactly how I'm feeling. And so many women write to me and they're like, thank you. Like, thank you for making me not feel like I'm the only one. Yeah. Feeling like my vagina is falling off. My husband's annoying me. My kids are driving me insane. I've had two hours of sleep.

Wendy Euler (00:53:24) - Yeah, I feel like my eyes are burning. Yeah, I can't move.

*Sarah Milken * (00:53:27) - Yeah, like I have dry mouth. What's happening here? You know, all the things. And I think our biggest goal for us in this midlife space right now is giving women that kind of relatability.

*Sarah Milken * (00:53:40) - Ticket of like to we may not have the solutions, but just knowing that you're normal is like half the battle. I feel like.

Wendy Euler (00:53:49) - I agree, and the last thing I'll say, because I know we need to wrap up, is I would tell younger women, women my age, anyone, that failure is your greatest tool. I'm not scared of that word. I've told my daughters, never be scared of that word, but fail, learn, pivot fast and keep moving. It's going to happen to you your whole life.

*Sarah Milken * (00:54:13) - And no one gives a shit except for.

Wendy Euler (00:54:14) - You. No one gives a rat's ass. No one.

*Sarah Milken * (00:54:18) - Yeah, if they.

Speaker 3 (00:54:19) - Have either of you.

*Sarah Milken * (00:54:20) - Mom, time to sit around and think and talk about you. They need a.

Wendy Euler (00:54:23) - Job. They need.

*Sarah Milken * (00:54:24) - Something. Something needs to.

Wendy Euler (00:54:26) - Happen.

*Sarah Milken * (00:54:26) - Yeah, self work, whatever. Because life is already hard and complicated enough to, you know, worrying about yourself in your own family. That to be worrying about what other people are doing like are no comparison.

*Sarah Milken * (00:54:39) - Okay, Wendy Isler, I love you. I love you too. I'm so happy. Thanks for having me, Montana. I'm so happy you were our.

Wendy Euler (00:54:47) - I'm so honored to be the first source.

Speaker 3 (00:54:49) - Yeah. In person.

*Sarah Milken * (00:54:51) - And where can we find you?

Wendy Euler (00:54:53) - Well, Instagram is good bye, crop top. And my podcast is called cropped a midlife minute available on all platforms.

*Sarah Milken * (00:55:03) - So so good you guys. Wendy for.

Speaker 3 (00:55:08) - Having me.

*Sarah Milken * (00:55:09) - Good bye.

Speaker 3 (00:55:09) - Crop top.

*Sarah Milken * (00:55:11) - Loved having her so happy you're here. We're gonna have to do this again soon.

Wendy Euler (00:55:16) - Hopefully we'll get you to Montana.

*Sarah Milken * (00:55:18) - Yeah. I can't say I'm gonna have my vagina put back.

Speaker 3 (00:55:20) - Together.

*Sarah Milken * (00:55:21) - Because I had.

Speaker 3 (00:55:21) - C-sections.

Wendy Euler (00:55:22) - Intact. What are you talking about?

*Sarah Milken * (00:55:24) - Maybe my boo.

Speaker 3 (00:55:25) - I don't know, there could be something or you never know. Right? Saying open to.

*Sarah Milken * (00:55:29) - Change. Open to transformation. Thank you guys. I'm so happy you've gotten time to hang out with Wendy.

Speaker 3 (00:55:37) - Thanks, everyone.

*Sarah Milken * (00:55:43) - Hey peeps, it's me again.

*Sarah Milken * (00:55:44) - I listen to this episode with Wendy Isler, who is an aging advocate, has an amazing platform called Goodbye Crop Top, and she's the host of cropped, a mid-life minute podcast. I wanted to summarize the golden nuggets for you to have actionable items to start using today. I know that when I listen to a long episode, I'm like, oh my God, I fucking love that. And then I can't even remember the specifics. This is why I come back and do a golden nugget. Summary. In this episode, we dig deep with our golden shovels in a conversation about aging, vulnerability, our shared midlife mantras, and the midlife vagina renovation. Wendy Tyler gets into it. And as you know, this was my first episode that I recorded on video two and a studio set. So you can go to YouTube and watch the entire episode. Let me know what you think. Okay. Golden nugget number one. It's an attitude. Like I say all the time, get the Botox, don't get the Botox.

*Sarah Milken * (00:56:49) - It doesn't really matter to me. You do you. I'm going to do me something that Wendy and I both preach is do whatever is best for you and whatever makes you feel better. For Wendy, that was getting vaginal reconstruction surgery after having a baby at 46, her third kid. She says it's okay to recognize that some things fall apart after pregnancy and during menopause. Aside from saying that it is one of the greatest things she's ever done for herself and she kept private for so long, she made it public for the sake of helping all the women out there who might be saying, me too! I have a fucking vintage vagina that is not looking and feeling so good that needs some reconstruction. Wendy is opening up about her procedure and reiterated that she supports anything that makes a woman genuinely have a spring in her step and feel better, even for fucking just her. You just want to feel better about you. It's not about everyone else and looking good for everyone else. She's like, no one's seeing my vagina except for my husband and me.

*Sarah Milken * (00:57:54) - But like, I feel better in my underwear. Like, go for it Wendy. Yes, mid lifers. It's an attitude. It's a feeling. It's the way you feel in yoga pants walking down the street, even if no one else can see. It's the way you treat people. It's the way you live your life. And if you do something like get the Botox or vaginal constructive surgery, that doesn't mean that you're not aging gracefully. Golden nugget number two round peg, round hole Wendy is all about ease. She refers to this as round pegs going into round holes. In midlife, it's no longer necessary to try and jam around peg into a square hole. We're just not doing that shit anymore. And this goes along with what I always say about hard and good. The round peg into the round hole doesn't mean avoiding things that are hard. It's about experience loss and transition from a place of acceptance, the loss of what could be in the square hole. Wendy reiterates that midlife is a time for embracing loss, getting more comfortable with loss and change, loss of collagen, loss of hair, loss of ass height, relationships, relevance to your family, to yourself, whatever it is, empty.

*Sarah Milken * (00:59:06) - Nest them. You have to find a way to adapt and adapt to new mechanisms and transitions, because the gain that you will receive is tremendous, hard and good. But we have to do the work. Golden nugget number three. Look inside. It might seem obvious there is so much out there being promoted for self-care and development. I mean, it really can be overwhelming. From the Stanley Cups to the 64 multivitamins and the constant flow of information that we're receiving daily, especially on social media. Fast. Don't fast. Whatever. When do you really believe that all of this can become a distraction from really honing in on yourself and what works for you? Look inside what feels good for you. Live your own life. Live your own purpose. And I like to call this sometimes my good enough. What's my fucking good enough? Be authentic to you. Not every trend is going to be for everyone. I hated spinning, but I love walking. I love low impact workouts. I'm not going to push a round peg into a square hole and force myself to love spinning.

*Sarah Milken * (01:00:15) - Nope. I'm a mid lifer. I've earned the right to do whatever the fuck I want. Okay, again, think round peg, round hole, find what works for you, and then apply your energy to all those other parts of your life. Number four. Trusting the people in my life. The company that you keep is everything. What are you bringing to the table? What are they bringing to the table? Is there reciprocity? Make sure that you are surrounding yourself with people that you trust. Midlife is not about worrying that somebody will repeat a sensitive conversation that you had in confidence. Midlife friendships are so important in so many ways. Make sure that you're around people who leave you feeling good. They're not energy vampires. Be open to new friendships and be open to doing some new things on your own. Find comfort in putting yourself in new situations. Even though they feel fucking awkward. You will meet new people. You never know what doors can open from taking action. The gold is dripping off these nuggets.

*Sarah Milken * (01:01:19) - Grab it, use it. There are three things you can do. First, fucking subscribe to the podcast. Subscriptions matter. Second, share it with some friends who like midlife shit. And third, write an Apple review. I know it's so annoying, but it's so helpful. This is how the podcast grows, okay, if you DM me, you know, I always respond. I'm the only person on my Instagram, of course. Follow my Instagram with the flexible, neurotic love you talk soon.