Transcript for Episode 03

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Hi, good peeps. Welcome to the flexible neurotic podcast. You know that friend that you can call to ask anything? That's me. Dr. Sarah Milken. I'm known to my friends as the flexible, neurotic. What is flexible, neurotic even mean? Let me be neurotic by take out my golden shovel to dig deep for all the golden nuggets in the hottest topics, from parenting, to education to neuroscience, and maybe even some beauty secrets. So we can all start living more flexibly. Come join us for edgy conversations with rad moms. Innovative thought leaders and well being practitioners helping you find that sweet spot between chaotic and gel. If you're craving that sweet spot, grab your golden shovel with me. You will walk away with nuggets you can start using today.

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Hi, good peeps. I'm so excited to have a new friend here. Danny buying Steen on the flexible neurotic podcast. Hi, Danny. Hi, I'm so happy to be here. I'm quite honored to be here as well. I'm so excited to have you. And I love your ceiling of Thank you. It's like a year but it's not. It's just that it looks like a year. It's so cool. I want to do a little formal introduction of Danny Bernstein. Let me tell you about Danny. She is a psychological astrologer also called an intuitive astrologer. Danny went to NYU undergrad and got her master's in spiritual psychology. The first thing that she does is she takes a snapshot of the sky of the moment you are bored. She has the clients birthdate, location and time. And then from that she can garner the personality traits that are perhaps beneficial, or some that might be holding them back. Danny looks at it as fostering deeper self awareness within individuals because we live in a culture where we are bombarded what we think we should be. I did an eye opening private reading with Danny that I'm going to talk about today. I have to be honest, I felt like maybe she had a webcam following me my whole life and inside of my heart and brain. I'm excited to share that with you guys. Today. Danny created an online course called the cosmic compass astrology membership with an active online community. And in September, the online will also include live zoom calls. And of course, Danny has a huge roster of who's who clients in her private practice. Everything Danny does is for individuals to better harness their own energy, and the energy of the world for personal growth with practical tools and insights. We have her here today, I met Danny through a common friend Tammy, I was talking to Tammy about my podcast that I've been working on and I asked her if she knew anyone who could understand my astrological and energetic makeup and share it with me. She immediately said Danny Bernstein. So I will share my private session with Danny later in the talk today. And she's going to talk about how my astrological chart combined with my personal choices and free agency is what is going to help me continue myself re creation process in the second half of my life. I'm now 45 and a half with two teenagers. And today is going to be a very in depth discussion and going through my personal chart. And we're going to peel back the layers and get to what's what I mean, that's quite the introduction. I mean, you deserve it. Thank you very much honor to be here. You know, I think one of my favorite things about what I do is my intention always is to hold an unconditionally loving space for my clients, and to really create a sacred space. And so, I've always yearned for those deep, intimate connections. And when you're speaking to the truth of who an individual is, you're living in that all day. So it cuts through the riffraff right to the heart of why we're here. And so I basically spend my life communicating but meaning, well, you must be exhausted by the end of the day, or you've created amazing boundaries to keep everyone else's feelings outside of your own. During my master's that's a big thing of what they taught us. So I practiced it a lot of not taking on other people's stuff. But I realized that actually doesn't help anybody else for me to take it on. It's more if I hold an unconditionally loving space, then I'm holding what's possible for them right without getting too

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wrapped in the emotional malstrom I love that because like having two teenagers something goes wrong in their day or a friend hurts their feelings, it's really hard to take that information and and not personalize it and carry it around with you. That's definitely something I've been working on for your children. My clients aren't my children, right? There's a kind of neutrality that I'm able to hold. Because while I'm invested in my clients growth, I'm not invested in a certain perception of them. Does that make sense? Totally. So it's really about holding for their highest self and their highest potential, always rather than with family. It's like Rhonda said, I think he was the one that said, You think you're in line go home for Thanksgiving? Oh, my God, that's amazing.

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Oh my gosh. Okay, so I like to start my episodes with letting the listeners know what my intentions are and what I think that we're going to try to accomplish today. So as for all of my episodes of the flexible, neurotic, it's for us to dig deep and an edgy conversation about how we can find our sweet spots between neurotic and chill. That's what we're all trying to find at the end of the day, how can we just live in the middle? So hopefully, by the end of this episode, we will have found the sweet spots on one, what is psychological astrology, to? How can we use astrological psychology to help us better understand and recreate ourselves? Three, I'm hoping Danny can explain to us the concept of CO creation and give us some details and texture on that. And how we make choices in our lives mixed in with our preset astrological charts, to unfold our lives for hopefully we will hear some of Danny's story on her own chart and how that played into her life. We are going to touch on the terms of femininity and masculinity and how we can cultivate a balance of that in each of us. And five, Danny will give us practical tools that we can use to achieve this co creation of the dance between what we are given and how we can personally use our own agency on our individual journeys. So we have a lot to do, Danny, I'm off task, are you You're so smart. And he Yes, exactly. Are you dripping? Because I am.

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Oh, I just left a note in the kitchen. That's like, you may not turn the blender on a smoothie while I'm recording. You may not order Postmates for lunch because I don't want the doorbell ringing during my recording. I'm like, Wait, did I forget anything else? So we'll see. You might hear some things in the background. Not sure. But let's get started. So let's go to the basics. What is psychological astrology? When I was growing up the way that I heard about astrology other than Ronald Reagan's wife, Nancy Reagan having that famous astrologer. Right, right is that like astrology was an indication of your pre determined defeat. And that you would read the horoscopes in the newspaper in the back of a magazine, it would tell you what was going to unfold that day, that month, etc. So psychological astrology looks more at the core archetypal energy of the 12 signs, the 12th houses in the natal chart, and the energy that we're made up of. So it's less about predictive work, and more about embolden in ourselves through deeper self awareness. So there are 12 zodiac signs, we all carry all the signs within us believe it or not, just like we hold all the human archetypes within us, it's just that some are stronger or default more to others. What psychological astrology does is it really enables us to know ourselves better know our patterning, know our default behaviors, our mental processing, how we go about attracting how we go about going after what we want our emotional landscape, rather than this is going to happen too. And there's nothing you can do. Because like all things, I think it's a very nuanced thing, right? It's like I do believe that our souls are meant to have certain experiences, and counter certain souls that their contracts with, but at the same time, we have free choice and how we perceive those experiences, those individuals that we encounter, how we navigate the relationships in our lives, how we navigate our career trajectory, if it's something that we would like to pursue creating a family if that's something that we want, you know, all these things, we can just sit back and let them happen or we can but to me, it's like yeah,

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Can we emboldened ourselves, and that's what the psychological aspect is it's taking more ownership over it. So for example, if you have a client who comes to you and says, my horoscope says this particular thing, and I don't see it happening, and I'm a Pisces, and I'm supposed to be this or that, what do you say to them how much of our horoscope has to do with our lives? And how much of is a personal context? Yeah, so this is where the more complex aspects of astrology come forward, because horoscopes are written as if your sun sign, we're at zero degrees of your Ascendant. The Ascendant is the conditioned mask of our chart, but it's the point of sunrise, so to speak, right? And where our energy falls in our chart

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really can indicate that we're going to be more impacted by a transit transit, it's what's currently happening in the sky or not. So just because of horoscopes as it, it's not actually an accurate prediction, because it's too universal. And there's too many layers to a personal natal chart, which is a snapshot of the sky, you're born to go along with a horoscope that you read in a magazine. So that's the first part is not set for your exact chart. The second thing is that all energy is neutral, until it's directed. So you may feel one transit more than another. And you may feel it in different ways. For example, a lot of times people fear of Saturn transit, because Saturn is the planet of karma of lessons of maturation, you know, of just growing up, so to speak. So a lot of times people fear it, what they don't take into account is that a Saturn transit can just as easily bring a reward for the efforts, it can bring an up leveling, it can bring a structural shift that's been long desired, and it can bring structural support to your endeavors. So it's not this black and white thing. And there's not one interpretation of a transit. Does that make sense? totally makes sense. So people might be afraid of either that Doomsday thing with the Saturn is that it's either happening to me, and there's nothing I can do about it, or, oh, my God, I actually have a lot of work to do on myself to incorporate this into my life and to make advancements for personal growth. That's exactly and that's why perception is so important. Because if you have a growth oriented mindset, then you realize that life is a marathon, and there's going to be hurdles along the way, and there's no way to avoid it. And you build your internal strength, you build your backbone, and your integrity so that you're able to greet each stepping stone, instead of fearing it. Because what I hear underneath that is I fear life, right? I fear life, because there's no way to walk through this life unscathed. As much as advertising would like you to believe otherwise, right? It's sort of like COVID is gonna happen, whether we want it to happen or not. But how are we going to choose to live inside of that COVID container? Correct. And then there's also aspects of like, if one is open to past lives, what is the karma, but then context also matters. So the example I use all the time is like someone born with a chart, in the 1960s. In Eastern Europe, under communism, their Natal energy is going to materialize differently than someone born in London. That's just placement, not just because your heart is set for where you were born, but the energy inside of you, which is also different from someone raised in a household that feels loving and supportive, versus a household where there was more trauma. It's a mix of nature and nurture, because nature, you know, we have our core energy that we're born with, but certain environments are going to allow those qualities to blossom more than others. Right. I also think it's interesting and how that plays into resilience. 100%, who are going to be the people who can pick their ship back up again, and keep on going and who are the people who are going to crumble? And all of us crumble at certain times, of course, and it's just, can we put ourselves back together and get back up again? There's a book that I read, I believe the author's Paul tuff, who, when I was working in education,

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writes a lot about children and education, how children succeed. And then you know, the number one determiners are grit, and resilience. Yeah, I read that book. Also, Angela Duckworth does a lot of work in that too. It's fascinating. Yeah. And so you look at some charts and you say, okay, there is a kind of determination here. And you see other charts where you can see there's a kind of desire to move more with the flow. There's something to be said, for living a life.

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In surrender, there's a writer named Michael singer. He's famous for writing the untethered soul. Yes. Right. Oprah it's like her number one recommendation totally. He wrote this book called The surrender experiment, which is story of his life is that in his 20s, he said, I'm going to surrender to what is ends up building a company at one point is investigated by the FBI like goes in this crazy journey. And he just moved with what was in front of him. So we in our culture, really exalt this idea of strategy and determination and all the hyper masculine, linear decisive qualities, but there's something to be said with moving with the energy as well. And again, perception because he didn't say, I'm going to just live in a surrendered state and just feel wounded. And a victim said, I'm going to live in a surrendered state, from a place of wisdom and consciousness and compassion, and that he had agency that he could influence what was happening within that context. Exactly, exactly. And so in our culture, we love to distill things down to sound bites. But the truth is that what I love about astrology is its complexity is that it can't be reduced to a soundbite because we can't be we're too layered with too many facets of our personality. And, to me, the saddest part of snippet culture and snark culture is that we lose that, you know, we lose that understanding. And that has to do with kancil culture, it's like everyone is reduced to their worst moment, when we all have our worst moments, right? I know, we're going to talk about masculine and feminine in a few minutes. But I just want to ask, like in terms of personal growth and development, it's all about the nuance, it's all about the shadings. Is that a more feminine energy? Because, you know, people say, Oh, I was trying to talk to my boyfriend or my husband or whatever, he just doesn't understand what I'm saying. And I have to talk to my best friends because they get what I'm saying. And he just doesn't, is that a masculine feminine thing? Well, I think it's like, that's kind of like the john gray men are from Mars, women are from Venus, which is, by the way, drawn from astrology, because Mars is a masculine planet. And the Venus is the feminine energy. You know, this is complex, because I think that there is a biological factor again, but there's also a social conditioning. But men's brains are by and large, wired differently than female brains for all the reasons of a neat survival. So I think that what has been kind of calcified is that mentioned show feelings. And so with that comes in impatience with their own internal emotional landscape and therefore an impatience with their significant others. Right, that makes sense. That's one way it can show up. Another way it can show up is that women are considered irrational. They don't make sense. You know, they're neurotic.

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My partner who is kiwi, a New Zealander, and I'm a Jewish New Yorker, he's just like, What?

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What? My son last night dinner goes because of the title of the podcast, the flexible neurotic he goes. So what are you flexible? Like, how would you rate yourself?

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To? And I was like, but all your friends think I'm really cool. Why don't you? He was like, Yeah, but they don't see you. When the door closes. You're super chill until that door closes. It's like Oh, my God. Teenagers. Elio? No, they just tell you how it is. Oh, girl tell you how it is? Oh, my God. It's hilarious. Well, I think that that leads me into my next question in our conversation on personal expansion is we keep hearing in social media and just the media in general about using your authentic voice finding your authenticity. What does that really mean? I mean, I know what I think it means but what does it mean in terms of psychological astrology and who we are in our natal chart? Yeah, I think it's a great question, because I think it's such an overused term. And it's like, what does that mean? It presupposes there's this fixed identity. And if you hook into it, you're authentic. But I don't see it that way. To me, it's like moment to moment. Or you yourself. Now. If we just went around saying exactly what we felt all the time. It's like, do you ever see that movie City of Angels with like, Lion, and like, the angels can hear everything, like if we were just blurting out, you know?

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That's not necessarily authenticity. It's like, someone will say, what I'm just being honest. It's like, Okay, well, you can deliver that honesty and also is that honesty really necessary, you know, or that just about you. So I think we also confuse authenticity with language, right? Like, if I say this, then I'm not

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If I don't say this, then I'm inauthentic. But I think it's more of a attunement to one's natural feelings the way that I can kind of equate it is like, you know, as a late teenager, I was living in New York City and then I went to college, I went to the East Village. And like, it's cool if like, you love Jim Jarmusch films and like, you like really artsy things. And I was like, I really like Titanic, like Titanic made me cry. Like, I really like big commercial productions. Like, I still think Jurassic Park is one of the best movies ever made. Like to me, I would be afraid. When I was younger to say, I didn't really like that vibe. That's not my vibe, because it wasn't cool. And, you know, I wanted to be seen as especially intellectual. And so even though I'm an enormous reader and lover of novels, I'm not really like an avant garde film lover, or theater lover. I love very traditional storytelling in that way. And I would be afraid to kind of articulate that lest I wasn't considered interesting. And then as I started to get older, I was like, No, I think Titanic, pretty amazing feat of filmmaking, and you're like, cry, and it's just me. And I'm listening to Celine Dion on a highway, you know what I mean? And to me, that's part of it. And a lot of times, because in our adolescent years, especially around the age of your children, we start to form our social identity. And that idea of being part of a tribe becomes really important. And a lot of times we create our feeling of tribe to fit in, a lot of times we create our tribe as otherness, to it's kind of like, I'm not that then you find a group that's anti conformist, or whatever. So I think authenticity is like the willingness to say, like, this is what really resonates with me, this is how I shine in the world. This is what moves me. That's kind of how I see authenticity. It's like, whether you're moved by a Rothko, or a da Vinci painting, it's like, which one actually moves you not which one you think should move you. Well, I think we can also be paradoxical beings, of course, you know, you like the Titanic, but you're not interested in whatever 100% exactly, we're layered. It's owning that 100% moment to moment. And that becomes easier as we get older. But I also think with social media, sometimes we're bombarded and we have a sort of mental lapse and think, oh, shit, we should look like this. Or we should be like that, or we need to be like this person. And I think it's getting back down to Well, what is my vibe? And am I okay, owning that vibe, whatever that is, like I'm a walking paradox myself. The flexible, neurotic, you know, it's like, I think I'm flexible. I think I'm neurotic. I'm both. That's exactly it. We're all of it. 100%. And I think it can also shift, right? Like, I tended to like much darker material when I was younger, other than the Titanic. Yeah, right. And then it's like, as I've gotten older, it's like, I don't really want to feed that within myself. Even though I still think the Godfather is one of the best films ever made. To me. Yeah, totally. We're totally layered. And I also think, like you said, it changes over time. I mean, we'll talk about this later in the episode. But like, my whole life, I've been performance driven, not because my parents told me I had to be, but just that's who I was born. That's who I am. You're Capricorn. Yeah, we'll get to that.

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That's like,

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but my whole life, it was boom, check, boom, check, you know, and I kept going through, and I had kids, and now I'm at the stage of my life, where I'm not saying that I'm not performance driven. And I don't have those kind of linear goals. But at the same time, I'm really trying to take the time to get more into the psychological because I am not at my core. But I just haven't always had time to address that, because I was either getting a PhD raising children, and I haven't had that time. So right now I feel like okay, I'm 45 It's my fucking time, like, my kids are teenagers. I have this moment in time. And I think that's part of the reason this podcast came to be, it's like, let me take these two sides of myself, this ethereal, spiritual side, and that PhD performance driven side and see if I can put it inside this vessel that shares 100%. And I think that speaks also to, you know, we live in a culture in America. And no, this is not true all over the world. But in America, we exalt youth, everything is targeted at youth, which is interesting, because youth has the least amount of disposable income, but that's a whole other. Right, right. So we target youth, but the truth is that you can't know who you are, quote unquote, authentically, until you've lived and experienced things because it's really such a privilege to age and really, as I see it, like allow your full natal chart to blossom, or the promise of it to reveal itself because we deepen in our authenticity to be

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get older, because I've experienced and we go, Oh, that's how I've responded to this. And some things are beautiful to respond to a certain way and some things we go. That's my default. But I'd like to work on that. I think that 45 to me, it's such a beautiful age. You know, I'm five years behind you. To me. It's like, I think the 40s and 50s for women, as long as there's Botox for me.

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Because gravity does kick in, things start moving out, you know, we got to do I got to do to keep up the exterior. Totally, my partner will not allow that and will break up with me if I get anything in my face, so I can't Oh, yeah, my dad was the same way. So it's like, no, no makeup was not to wear makeup growing up. My boyfriend doesn't like makeup. So it's the opposite in my house. I'm like a makeup whore. You can see it's like glitter eyeliner, mascara, like I have everything. There's a beauty to that, like, you know, and I own it. Yeah. And again, with authenticity. Yeah, it's not a secret. It's like, I like makeup. I put my clothes together. I sometimes wear makeup before I work out like we did in our private session, because I'm like, Okay, well, I have to get on a zoom call. So I'm going to put the makeup first, then I'm going to sweat. It's going to re congeal and dry. And then I'm going to get on the zoom call, but it works. You know, and then some of my friends are like no makeup people. And that works for that. So 100% I'd love to say you could completely see that. And I do think you can in the sense that well, we can get to it later. But your Venus in Pisces has that quality. It's like I believe Drew Barrymore has Venus in Pisces and she created flower, the makeup line right, right, right. That makes sense. Pisces rules painting. It's like glitter. Like I love glitter, glitter eyeliner, or eyeshadow totally glitters my art. I love that. I love that. And I think there's something like actually attune to childlike wonder about that because a lot of little girls at least me like luck to like play with glitter and like, Yeah, I love commission off and make potions. I was never into Barbie or dolls because that to me, it was two fictional, fictional. It's like, not easy for me. Like I'm such a nerd that I have to like, get information. Even fiction books are hard for me. Because my brain goes to that place of like, wait, but I'm not learning facts. Here. I'm not learning neuro psych facts. I'm just reading. It's weird. Well, that's interesting, because I think that has to do with the Capricorn kind of stuffing down your Pisces because Pisces is a very attuned to qualitative interest, rather than quantitative interest. all my stuff. Like if you look at my nightstand, my husband wonders why I don't have like a Dewey Decimal System, because I have like, every self help book, every research book out there, but there's not a lot of fiction, and I'll buy like, four or five fiction books a year, it takes me a really long time to get through it. Because the time I do have to read my brain is hungry for what am I going to learn? What can I take away from this sort of like this podcast? It's almost like a reaction formation, because on the opposite sign of you, Virgo. Oh, and I'm Virgo. And I mean, I love history. So I read a lot about history. And I love like the New Yorker and the Atlantic and reading about culture and politics and all of that. But my true love is literature. Interesting. Like deep literature, not like be treating. And to me, it's like it's a balance to my Virgo. That's always looking for the facts. It takes me out of that. But you're Pisces. So I wonder if you're being drawn to that is almost like a counter, because it makes you feel grounded. Because on some side inside of you, you don't feel fully grounded and ever thought about it that way, especially in the world that you exist in, to feel grounded, like you have the facts that you're taken seriously. Yeah, I never thought about it that way. But you're probably right. Social media and scrolling through Instagram. And all of that is like where I sort of space out. Yeah. Designed for that. Yeah, exactly. My brain goes. Okay, we're gonna relax now. Totally. It's reality TV. I mean, yeah, sure. Reality TV, for sure. Okay, so before we get into some of my personal chart, I want to break down for the listeners. The four five or however many basic parts of an astrological makeup are there. I know everyone has aside like I'm a Pisces, you're a Virgo. That's just your sons. Right. So what are the other parts just for the astrology newbies? like can you just list out the elements and tell us what they are? Yeah, so everyone has a natal chart. Again, the natal chart is a snapshot of the sky their moment

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You're born, it's a 360 degree wheel. That circle is divided into 12 pie slices, which are called houses. So it's like a pizza. It's like a pizza 12 houses and the 12 houses represent different aspects of our life, one through 12. Then you have 10 main celestial bodies, you have the sun, which is how you shine in the world, your moon, which is your emotional landscape, you have Mercury, which is mental processing, thought communication, you have Venus, which is what you're attracted to how you attract, how you express feminine qualities and the feminine qualities you're drawn to in other Mars masculine qualities that you're drawn to in another or activated within yourself, how you go after what you want your tactics, then Jupiter, which is kind of how we expand how we grow. Then Saturn, which is the lessons that we have to learn, so things kind of contract with Saturn, that we get down to the backbone and integrity of whatever it is. And then we have your rawness, which is the Changemaker, the rebel. Then we have Neptune, which is a serial energy, kind of how we attune to the ethers. And then we have Pluto, which is transformation and kind of death and rebirth. I think I just named them all and wow in a row. So there aren't four or five, apparently there's a million. Yeah, there's, there's a lot. So it's been Where are those are in the chart, the sign they're in, and then what's called aspects. So any aspect they're making to another aspect of your chart or other planet or point, and that forms a geometrical degree. And that will then shape the energy as well. And then you have qualities. So there are three qualities Cardinal which initiate fixed, which builds and then mutable, which adapt. And then there are four elements fire, earth, air, and water. So you're a mix of all of it. Each of the planets are a quality and an element. Wow. Now I understand why the horoscope in the back of the magazine becomes like almost irrelevant. And why you need a private session with Danny because Forget it, there's no way. There's no way there's so much happening. So let's make it real, because that was a lot. Let's make it real. Let's jump in to Sarah Milken chart. And let's do the highlights and figure out who am I? What can I control? What can't I control and what's going to happen? So your Capricorn rising, the rising sign, also called the ascendant is how, how we show up in the world. So when we walk into a room, the qualities that people think of us not what happens on social media, not our larger reputation. But upon first meaning you walk into school, you walk into a cafe, you know, anywhere restaurant, this is the energy party. You're just in Capricorn, which is incredibly competent, achievement, focus, success oriented. And status oriented, doesn't have to be grotesque, but there's a desire to reach certain heights, right, like recognition. Yes, wanting validation and recognition, wanting to feel like you have reached the height of the mountain. There's actually a beautiful book about this, that he didn't even realize he was writing about it by David Brooks called the second mountain in New York Times columnist. And he talks all about the first part of our life is all about climbing that mountain of achievement. You know what other people expect of us in second mountain is more a deeper meaningful expression of ourselves in the world that is so Capricorn. I love it. When Saturn was in Capricorn. It's crazy how people pick up on this energy and they don't even realize they're picking up on it, right? But that's exactly me. It was like I went to like, competitive High School. And then I went to an Ivy League college, and then I got my PhD because I thought, well, if I get a PhD, there's really not much place to go higher than that unless I get like a Nobel Peace Prize. So I've checked my boxes, and you got married and you had a boy and a girl like you give a dog Do you just I have two dogs and all that shit was done by the time I was 30. Yeah, you know, I was like, Whoa, and then I became a full time mom. And now it's my point where I'm like, Okay, my kids are grown and what's happening now, so that's why I want to come in. I want to dig into all this. Yeah, I'm going to climb that second mountain. So what's wild about maybe I'm gonna float up this time. You know what I mean?

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Right, like I can kind of dilly dally a lot. Load and thing. Yeah, exactly. Doesn't have to be like a complete uphill battle with no water bottle.

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You know?

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Totally, totally. Okay. So because you're Capricorn rising, that means that your chart ruler is Saturn, because each of the signs is ruled by a luminary, the sun or the moon, or a planet ruled is such a strong word. Well, it just means that it's like dissociated. So there's this quality because you're Capricorn rising, you're going to feel Saturn transits are where Saturn is in your chart is going to be of extra importance. We haven't even gone to the fact that you are quote, unquote, a Pisces, right? So this shows you the misunderstanding in our culture, about astrology, right is that it reduced it to the sun sign really can't be reduced to something. So Capricorn is your chart ruler, and you have Capricorn in the sixth house of daily work, daily habits, there's a kind of workhorse quality to this kind of, I need to provide deliverables I need to produce I need to create, I also need to develop my skill sets, right. And also it has to do with health. There's just kind of feeling of being a worker, right. So it has nothing to do with whether you have a career or your mother in your everyday you're always trying to achieve the highest level. Yeah, and your shit is organized. It's like, you know what that routine is looks like what it feels like your kids know what it looks like. And it feels like your husband only Yeah, exactly. Your routines. And then your Saturn is conjunct your moon. So the moon is the emotional landscape, Saturn can create this feeling of almost Capricorn, which is again, the achievement. So here's a double loading of the achievement of the needy, and your emotions, even though you've got a cancer moon, and if you looked it up, you said cancer and you'd say, Oh, I'm so emotional. And I'm so sensitive, and I'm so intuitive. And you're that but the layer of Saturn on top of it gives it kind of this quality of like, but I've got to channel that into achieving into working. Whereas if you didn't have the Saturn there, you would be less driven, so to speak, right. Now, the crazy thing about you coming to me is that you came to me just as both Saturn and Pluto Saturn takes 28 and a half years and Pluto 248 years, we're crossing your Ascendant, indicating a major transformation and restructuring of your identity, which Wow, I know you're launching this podcast, just as you are going through this major life. The first one happens every 20 and a half years. The second one's not gonna happen again in your lifetime. Well, so I say you have all of that. And so it's activating this will. How do I define achievement for myself? Not by my parents, not by society? How do I want to really express my identity, my talents and not that identity is fixed, like we've talked about, but just how do I want to show up in the world? And that all of that is going through a restructuring. Your Pisces son at the core of you indicates an attunement, a sensitivity, a porousness, meaning you can take everybody else's stuff on. Again, this idea of like, you might have been in the ethers more, had you not had these other qualities, but there's a compassion, a tenderness, and an attunement and spiritual awareness. But because of the other qualities, you need to ground it in a way that feels substantive to you. And to your environment. Yeah, I think that's also why even though I had this very performance Driven Life, the first half of my life, we'll talk about this again later. But I always had this sense that I would have a full time career and I would be working because that's the kind of house I grew up in both my parents had full time careers. So I got my PhD, I was teaching the Graduate School of Education at USC, I got pregnant with my son. And it was the weirdest thing. I assumed I would always be working. And I had this baby and I was like, I'm not going to work. And my husband was like, wait, what, and he didn't care either way. He was happy to have me do what I wanted to do. But I think in his mind, he was like, okay, Sarah has done all these things. And her mom's worked, and that's kind of how she grew up. So that's what she's gonna do. My parents were like, wait, why? Like you wouldn't got a PhD and you're not working like, what are you doing? And I actually didn't even stress that much about it. It was just I had this feeling of like, I need to do this. I can't really explain why. And I guess I took all of my sort of performance driven stuff and make up and put it on to my children, hopefully in a healthy way, I'd like to say in a healthy way as the flexible neurotic, because a lot of my neuroses I kept inside my brain so I could appear to be more chill than I am. By it's just kind of interesting seeing how

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I've expressed my performance driven Capricorn self in different ways, whether it's like being the PhD student or being like a super mom, hopefully not a totally helicopter Mom, I will ask my kids and my husband that, but now I feel like okay, my kids are 14 and 16. I have to go back to me. And I need to figure out what my next version of Sarah is. Yeah, but also you have a cancer moon at the core and cancer is all about the family. Mm hmm. So with the core, that's like, I'm not surprised that you felt that and you thought that's where I'm going to focus my achievement, also having six House Energy, which is your every day, right? So your daily habits and cancer is, like I said all about the family and nurturing. So I'm not surprised. And the cancer Capricorn axis is the parental access. Oh, interesting. Okay. Now, I remember in our session, you mentioned the third house, and how there might be some sort of angst or feistiness associated with that. And there were like, certain dates where I should like really focus in on things that are pissing me off or annoying me. That's a transit. So that's not Natal. That's not what's in your natal chart. That's what's being activated by a Mars transit. So Mars is in Aries until January six. And that's an extended stay because we have Mars retrograde, which occurs between September 9 and November 13. And that's going to activate your third house, which is your communication, your mental processing, but also anything if there are any siblings, and then your community. So you're just going to feel more activated in that area. That's a transit. I see now, are there certain tools that we can use for that, like during that activation period to kind of channel that energies? You're not feeling kind of out of control? Or feisty? Yeah, let me just give an example of why a horoscope is kind of off that you would read a magazine because if you read a horoscope in a magazine, they would say that Mars is activating your second house, because Aries is the sign after Pisces. So because you're a Pisces son, I would say that Pisces is your first house. Aries is your second house. And therefore you'd be dealing with money stuff. But that's not what's happening for you. Because it's not technically your second house. It's your solar second house, but not your natal second house. That's why as an example, when you look at a horoscope, it would say that it was hitting a different part of your chart than it's actually hitting. This is like a whole other language, honestly. Yes. No, it is. It is a whole lot like your multi lingual. Wow, I always see that. I'm like, I just feel like if there are past lives, I did this in a past life because I soaked it up. Or you were like a language translator or something. Because I can't even remember what I fucking wore yesterday. And you remember so many things and keep track of all these things. I'm like, Whoa, but you're not 45 yet. So wait little see it 45 you'll be wearing reading glasses like me and forgetting what you are.

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I mean, it's crazy. Like I remember climbing charts. Ah, yeah, it's wild. But I also say that the thing that I've always been good at is taking in a lot of information distilling it, and then making it digestible for people. So when I thought I was going into politics, I would do that in the political realm. When I was starting to make my way in Hollywood, I did that in terms of Hollywood and what the numbers weren't, you know, what films are doing well, and what shows were having good rating, it's just the raw capacity to retain a lot of information. Well, I also feel like that's what I'm doing with this podcast is I want to pick expert brains, like yourself, gather all this information and pick it through and digest it and kind of push it out as a new narrative. And I feel like that's part of one of my superpowers, if you will, yes. Is this sort of asking of questions, grinding up the answers, spitting out new ideas. So having this information about myself from you is just wild. And then not discounting the piscean because you have your Venus and Jupiter in Pisces? So first of all, there's an exaltation of that energy. And it's a very feminine energy. And so I'm not surprised that you like makeup and putting yourself together and doing your hair and like, you know, that's why again, why we're so layered and complex, right? Because you've got this very kind of academic aspect to you. But simultaneously, you've got this very girly side to you. Yeah.

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I call myself the pretty nerd.

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I mean, I don't know how to better encapsulate it. I mean, that's kind of how I felt in high school. That's like everyone's dream. Yeah, I was like I was an insider outsider. You know, it was like, she is pretty, she was wearing the right clothes, she's doing all the right things. But inside, I was like, wait, I just want to like be doing my homework and getting A's and having my few best friends and a boyfriend and just be sort of more independent solo rather than the group thing. So it's like an inside outside, you don't have a chart that's hyper social in that way. You have a more family oriented, introverted energy in that way, even though I can imagine people first meet you. They may not say, Oh, she's introverted. No, right. But the qualities that you're interested in cultivating within yourself that come naturally to you? Are your family, your closest friends and your investigative mind? Right. And basically like an introverted extrovert, I know there's a word for it. But I can't remember what it is an M ni for? I don't even know I have to look that one up. But that's basically me. Now I remember in our session, we talked about the north node. Mm hmm. There's a lot of node discussion going on social media. Can you just tell us what the north and south nodes are? Why do we care about them, and give an example like mine, for example, so that listeners can understand what we're talking about? Okay, so the nodes are the north node and the South node. And it's also called the dragon's head in the dragon's tail, or true north or true node, the north node is, and it, it speaks to the qualities that we are meant to cultivate and express in our lifetime, to feel fully realized. Now, because we live in a culture that's all about achievement. The number one question I get is often about this and in relation to career, but it's not necessarily career related. As we move into this idea more and more that we are supposed to exhibit our natural qualities in our career, which is a kind of utopian ideal held in the wellness community, that is a beautiful ideal, right, that we are just all expressing our natural talents. They're becoming more fused. But the idea is that the north node can sometimes it depends on if make any aspects or what sign it's in or in relation to the rest of our chart. But the North arrows are qualities that don't come immediately, easily to us, meaning they're outside of our comfort zone. Whereas the South node are qualities that we come here kind of with the foundation to master. And then we balance it out. Because they're on an axis. So your South node is in Gemini, which is gathering all the information quality, you want to No, no, no, that's my neurotic side, right? Sagittarius seeks the deeper wisdom and deeper truth underneath it all. And then seeks to express that to be a guide to others. So you're moving more into your north node, for example, with this podcast, and with your desire to get to the truth of all of this, not just gather all of the information, but to create a cohesive narrative around it. Right.

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Okay, now, the nodes, how is your node different than my node? If your signs? Okay, so it has nothing to do with that. Okay. So I definitely agree with this notion of the north node affecting kind of what we're doing. How would you say the north node is different from other aspects in your chart? What is the most powerful part of the chart? Or you can't say, you can't say because there's no universal truth, right? So again, that goes back to the chart ruler, it goes back to your unique makeup. So it's too individualized. But I do think that the moon is really important, because the moon is the emotional answer. I mean, they're all important because Mercury is super important. Mercury is how we think how we communicate. What's more important than that when it comes to relationships. So you couldn't just pay if you had to pick like one thing from a chart, it wouldn't just be the north node or your rising, like, do you have a favorite part of the chart? That's kind of like saying Which body part or organ? Well, you might like to do surgery on elbows? I don't know. Right? I mean, the heart, right. So if you said to me, like, what do you think the most important organ is? It's the heart. But if you don't have a brain, right, it's not gonna do any good. So I think the moon is incredibly important, because I think our emotional landscape and the way that we emotionally navigate this world has a giant impact on our experience of it. Mm hmm. Now, I know from our session, we talked about the Saturn return, and you briefly touched on it earlier. Can you define what that is? I mean, I've heard you say before that it's sort of like you're coming home. Yeah. So

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The Saturn return happens at about the age of 28 and a half between 20 and 30. And it's when Saturn returned to the point it was at your birth. And if you notice, a lot of people get married at around that age, or if they're in a long term relationship, and they're like, I actually want something different for my life, there's a break up. Some people have their first child around that time, sometimes people go back to graduate school, they switch careers, it's really significant. The more you look around, the more you'll notice that. So that would be like me at age 28 and a half to 30. I was finishing my PhD teaching, having a baby getting married. The other order I got married first then had a baby, which doesn't always happen. But yeah, that also got married someone I met in ninth grade. So I think that was like, pretty straightforward. So that would be my Saturn return. Yes, exactly. But someone else like I said, they may decide to go back to law school, or get a PhD. Or, you know, they may have just graduated law school and get their first associate job. Got it? Okay. I work with a lot of lawyers for some reason. Maybe because I thought about becoming a lawyer. That's what everyone thought I'd be. Yeah, I think everyone thought I was gonna be a lawyer to

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Maybe it has something to do with our big mouth. I don't know, right? I'm just saying what we want to say. Okay, so I want to get to cocreation? Because I know that that's a big part of what you do. Can you kind of define that for us? So this has to do with faith, right. And the idea that there is something beyond the material world and our five senses and the way people who are strict atheists, the way I always respond to that is like, you can't see past the length of a football field. You're telling me, you know, everything that's out there. And the other thing is that I went on African safari when I was 19. It was the greatest gift my parents could have ever given me. I opened my eyes in so many ways. It was phenomenal. I feel so blessed. And I still think about all the time, wow, 21 years ago with our kids a few years ago, and we did part of a community service trip. It was unbelievable. It's unbelievable. So when we were on safari, I remember we went for a game drive early in the morning. I think I've told this before on other podcasts and the guide, I think it was rhinoceroses. But if it's not rhinoceroses, it's not the point of the story. And I'm sorry, and someone might correct me on this. But he was like they're having a conversation, but it's not audible to the human ear. And when I was very little, I would tell my mom all the time of grip in York City, she would take me to the mat, and from zoom, not just straight and she was like I always said, I live during that time. I lived during that time, or I was obsessed with the antebellum south and I only want to read about the antebellum south. So I believed in something and I believed of what my mom said, from time you were like three, four, you start talking about past lives. And my mom is her whole family, our nuclear physicist, like you know, she's dying my arrow people. Yes, exactly. So I had been kind of an atheist in my teens that kind of like angsty. But I heard that and I was like, how could there not be a god? And how could there not be other things that are going on like right in front of me that I can't touch, see feel other than Intuit there, which made me believe more deeply in past lives. And this idea, the older I got, the more I believed in it. And so this comes back to the idea of how we co creating I believe that there is an invisible force, you can call it whatever you want, you can call it God, you can call it universe spirit. And that it communicates to us. And it rarely communicates through the mind because we live in such a mind based culture that's always convincing us of one thing or the other. I believe it exists in the realms of the heart and intuition. Right. Yeah, I was gonna say is that intuition pings leaning or writing signs. You know, I think too much reliance on signs is a problem because you have confirmation bias, but it does whisper to us, right? And we can communicate with one could even argue with an aspect of the subconscious that's picking up way more how much of the brain do we use a fraction, right? So co creation is the idea that you can co create with the universe and that you have the energy that you're made up of, but you can transcend it, you can ask for help or guidance, I can come to you and your dreams. So basically, in a nutshell, the CO creation is nature versus nurture, what we're given and what we can do to affect that. It's not just what you're given. Yes, 100%. But I also think it's more romantic than that. Yeah, but I'm just trying to get a basic definition before the Danny eyes just so the listener can understand what we're talking about in esoterica

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I have to distill esoterica into, okay, what the fuck do I understand? And what are other people gonna understand? Yes, yes. And right then and there an argument can be made is like even, yes, 100% nature versus nurture with glitter floating on top. How's that? Totally. With pings in the middle? Do you believe in magic, you know, like, you can look at the neuroscience of falling in love. And you can look at the pheromones. And you can look at the conditioning of this is your ideal prototype, and you meet them in person. But there is also something mysterious, you can look at the science of fertility, and then you're like, but a human being comes from two human beings. Like what? Yeah, that was a fun conversation with my children.

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Wow, this book, where did I come from? That was like a cartoon. Remember that book? Of course I do. Except I had to have like a little bit more of an advanced conversation than that. My husband? Do I have to be part of that. I'm like, Yeah, you do. Actually, I'm not doing it alone. But you can just be backup if you want.

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But you know, I'm saying like, there's, what do we choose to see? So I think, again, it's nuanced. Seeing it all. If you think of the Enlightenment era, right, moving into the Romantic era, which is actually what I wrote my college thesis on. So I feel like this is a but my dissertation on cognitive dissonance. You did? Yeah.

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So if you look at that period of history, we seem to be entering that same period of transition out of enlightenment into the Romantic era. What I mean by that the distilled version of that is reliance on reason, right? And scientific advancement into a kind of focusing on emotion and feeling and passion and all engine expansion. Now, there's positives and there's negatives to both because you know, I'm reading this phenomenal book by Isabel Wilkerson called cast. It looks at the association between Nazi Germany, America, especially the American South and segregation, and the untouchables that I'm not gonna pronounce this right, but to delete in India, and I didn't know this, but Nazis actually studied the eugenics of America to formulate their plan of how they were going to deal with Jews in Nazi Germany. So too much reliance on science is eugenics, which is a disaster because there's no humanity in that. And you create genocide, which is horrific, right? So it's like, we seem to need to vacillate between extremes, right? I think it's about finding the sweet spot between the two. I mean, that's kind of what this podcast is about. It's like finding the sweet spot between all things, right? That's how we feel whole. It's like finding the metal. Yeah. But what I'm saying is like, I think that there's a part of the world that only sees science and fact. And then there's a part of the world that dismisses science, in fact, both are problems now, kind of expanding upon this idea of living in sort of two worlds. Let's touch on masculinity and femininity, and how you would define them? Yeah, I think there's a confusion around that, because we associate with gender roles. And we associate with gender roles, and we associated with the statics, which is not in astrology, a feminine energy is receptive. It's more feeling based, right, more intuitive, and masculine energy is more decisive, but also holds a more neutral kind of stoic space. So I guess the gender roles have developed from that. But I think too much of either, and a dismissal of either is again, problematic, and most people have a mix of both. And what does it look like when it's out of balance? Like, what would be an example of somebody who you know, it's like Tony Robbins says that in relationship, we're all drawn to polarities. So often people who are in polarity on one side, we're calling a partner, that's the polarity of another, I say, so are there things that we can do to cultivate either more femininity or more masculinity in our personal equations? Yeah, where do we feel that we need to take more decisive action? Be proactive? Where do we feel we need to assert ourselves more that would be more masculine energy. feminine energy is where do we feel like we need to listen more? You know, where do we feel that we need to be more tuned to the nuance of feeling within ourselves and others? Now, I know this is more of a gender role thing, but if you have a dad who decides to be a stay at home dad, while his wife is the breadwinner,

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Or you have a mom who is a Supreme Court justice? Wouldn't that be amazing? Yeah, exactly. Are those examples of living in an extreme of masculinity or femininity, or those are more gender roles? Those are more gender roles, because you look at the qualities that the individual brings to those two roles, not the roles themselves, right? Also, like masculine is more competitive, whereas feminine energy is more coalition building, you know, on the Supreme Court, there's actually a lot of camaraderie across lines of supreme court reporters have brought in like, you know, what do you do in a jury? Right, or it could be a litigator, I'm just trying to say a more intense, quote, less feminine type position, but people bring masculine qualities to parenting, that is remembering masculine qualities to parenting. And people bring feminine qualities to the workplace. So our job in this lifetime is to take what we're given in our charts and to try to cultivate as much balance between masculine and feminine today, exactly. Before we enter like toxic Li feminine or toxically masculine, which is a whole other conversation unto itself. 100% and we live in a culture that exalts toxic masculinity doesn't really exalt toxic femininity. I don't even know what that would look like.

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Not even like matriarchal societies are in toxically. feminine, right? In terms of the feminine aspect. You know, we talked about, like maintaining an exterior aesthetic. And how for me, maintaining my interior is very important to me, but maintaining my exterior is also very important to me. Is that a feminine thing? Is that a Sarah thing? Is that a chart thing, like where does that come from? I think that's the Venus in Pisces. And also I think you want to look put together in a Capricorn way. But Capricorn is more. I think, like Rashida Jones, I think she's a capper. I don't know why I just like randomly feel like there's certain things people who

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who is stunning, but she puts herself together more conservatively. Like, I feel like she wears glasses. Like I feel like there's a more conservative kind of luck. Maybe button downs. Mm hmm. Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't know. But that's the Capricorn that would be in the more that Capricorn aesthetic. Like, I have a friend who's Capricorn he wears these amazing threes, then, you know, on suits, like she just looks so amazing. And that that's more Capricorn where's the Pisces is more feminine? flowy. So you're a mix of them because you have the makeup in the hair. But then you're a bit more conservative, at least every time. I've only seen your twice but the two times I've seen Yeah. And then on the bottom, I might be wearing leopard shoes or leopard leggings. It's always like a juxtaposition for me. Well, that's because you hold that. Yeah, it's like the high low or not wearing like, what's that store? Love Shack? fancy? No, no, I'm not into like the flowy cereal ish. Look, it's more edgy. It's more raw. It's more Capricorn. Yeah, like a leather jacket? Yes. And lots of animal print shiny leggings. My daughter's like, please don't wear those. And I'm like, okay, no, I'm sorry, I'm not in eighth grade. And I only want to wear black leggings. You know, every girl's wearing black Lululemon leggings. And my mom is wearing like leopard, like,

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with glitter eyeliner. It's like, Oh, my God kill me. may that be her biggest issue? I know, seriously, I always say everyone's gonna be in therapy for fucking something. So if it's gonna be that, then I've done a great job. We'll see. We'll see how that shift pans out. I don't know. Now, I really for this podcast, want people to be able to leave with tangible stuff that they can do. I took our conversation that we had privately and I dug deep into your website. Mm hmm. In my nerdy little self, I dug up a bunch of tools that I felt like were super helpful. So I want to call them out. Or you can Why don't know what you found? I mean, I think I have an idea, but I don't you know, okay, so the first one was, this is all in pretty much in your words was, we recognize that all of us are addicted to wanting control. We want to control everyone and everything. So my question to you since there's four of these are few more than four, we have to go kind of quickly. Like, what's your response to that? Like, what's something tangible we can do to try to shut that constant need for control down? Well, meditation is number one. Cool, but I also think it's like, you know, a big part of that is looking at the fear because control is a symptom of fear. A deeper

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Fear. It's like, what is the fear? Most of us fear, no one's gonna like us, we're going to be rejected. And that often comes back down to childhood. So it's basically for calling out our fears, naming them. Yeah, cooling the landscape. Okay. The second one is we need to recognize that the only thing we can control is our reaction to our experience. For example, as you mentioned, COVID is happening, your response is your choice. How do you respond to what's happening? Right? It's not that you're meant to just sit there, like a rock and not have a response. But notice what comes up inside of you? And say, is this serving me? If there's a real fear of getting sick? Am I taking precautions, but you know, am I choosing to feed that fear of missing, I'm taking precautions, and then I've done everything I can do, and I have to let go. So you just answered the third one also in that, which is we need to recognize that we're co creating our human experience with the world in the cosmos. And many times we put our dreams into the world, and then we just wait to see what happens, or we're running around like crazy people. And so you've just touched and answered with that. One is that it's on us, too. And the choices we're making, yeah, 100%. And then number four, I see, we need to create a relationship with our dream for our lives. But we're usually too scared to communicate with that dream and make a relationship with it. So my question to you is, how do we communicate with that dream? Meaning, like, often we have this idea of pining or holding out this perfect future. And as we start to imagine ourselves living that future, we may say, like, Oh, actually take someone who has a dream of having a house. And so from the time they're little, maybe they grew up, and they were, you know, moving from house to house, and they didn't have the house that they wanted, they hold this idea of a house. And they don't let go of that vision that they had when they were 25. But then they get older, and they don't allow themselves to go, maybe I just want to rent, maybe I don't need to own a house. Maybe actually what I'm drawn to is design. And I actually my income levels aren't so that I can own a house and travel and experience different aesthetic environments. So what if I rented and then were able to travel and experience the idea of design because what I actually loved when I was a kid was design. It wasn't the house, I say, as an example. So it's like peeling it back to what the genesis of it is. Yeah. And also negotiating with it, like realizing it may shift. You know, it's like, for example, you when you were younger, you probably had a focus on career, and then your son was born, not to negotiate. It happened quickly. 100%. But you negotiated with that happening a lot longer than I thought. Yes. But he showed up and it was like, Okay, yeah, game over. Yeah, this is what's happening. And don't get me wrong. It wasn't I mean, I've loved every single minute of it. But there were some days where I was like, is this fucking Groundhog Day? Is this ever gonna end you know, but the grass is always greener on the other side, always, always has to be when you start to really do this work, you realize everybody has their lot. Everybody has their lot, right? And when you start to live a life of empathy and compassion, and you realize, first of all, yes, life is inherently unfair. Is this the surrender piece that you talk about? Yeah. Because that was going to be my last question in this part is you wrote, we have to ask our dream, what we can surrender to and what we can let go of and ask ourselves what we can do to actually contribute to a destiny where we have control. And so my question is surrender. And how do you define that? Surrender is not getting attached to outcome. So it's this idea of high involvement, low attachment. So you do everything you can do, and then you let go. I mean, I know that like when you say, Oh, my God, I'm definitely gonna fail this test. But you've studied for 10,000 hours. It's different than that. You know what I mean? You How are you honest about that? How do you honestly not care about an outcome? Like through years of meditation? Also, because you look for examples in your life for something showed up that was better than what you expected? I say. And then you have to just experience that a few times. Yeah. And also with the testing, it's like, okay, so you've completed the test, is it due just the warning actually help. Sometimes there can be attachment like if I don't worry, I won't do well, that worry is part of my success, but that's not true. Interesting. In terms of tools, is there anything you can think of that we

1:10:00

haven't talked about that you find to be helpful. I know that in your online course you talk about meditation, you talk about following the moons. So do want to quickly go over the moon phase information. So new moons, and full moons are really potent periods. lunar cycles are 28 days. So you have the new moon, the startup cycle. And then two weeks later, you have the full moon. New moons are when we plant seeds, and set intentions, and full moons or when things come to culmination, we have awarenesses illumination. And so by following the moon cycles, we can start to feel in sync and in rhythm with the world, right or the cosmos. So how do we do that? Like we go online, and we say what, like, what is the new moon? Well, that's why I created the online membership because every new and full moon I break it down right now. But that's when you go online, you say like next new moon next full moon. So give an example. So that you find out that the new moon is happening next Friday, you sit down with a piece of paper and you write down what your intentions are, yes, of how you want to show up and what you want to call in your life. And then in full moon, you write down all the things you want to release all the patterns of the limiting beliefs, all the emotion that's rising, you write it down, and you burn it, or shred it. Wow. Or rip it up. That changed my life. Living by that cycle, change my life. That's amazing. The ritual of it itself is incredibly healing. It's sort of like that grounding. They talk about like, when you walk in the sand or you touch the earth, you're sort of Yes. Tapping into that nature. Feeling. Yeah. Interesting. Okay, I'm gonna lighten this conversation up a little bit from esoterica and tools to just like find out about you like you is just like a person and there's no right or wrong answers there. Just spit it out. Okay. What's next on your bucket list? Oh, I'm a traveler. So there's places that I haven't been that I really want to go. Perfect. Anything that you have learned whenever I've been? Yeah, exactly. Anything that you've learned that's on your bucket list after quarantine, like something that you've realized that you just don't have a place for anymore? And I'm letting go of? Yes. That's an interesting question.

1:12:29

No, no, because I tend to pare down to the essentials. Anyway. Okay. Virgo. I'm always asking myself that. Yeah, I think for me, it's just saying no more. Yeah. What COVID allows you to say no more, but I'm learning for the future that I can say no, like, I can't be on every single board call known demand. I see what you're saying. Well, yeah, you know, I mean, this is very intimate. We're talking much more seriously about having a child. That's been that, you know, yeah. Wow. That's cool. I can't wait.

1:13:03

I will not be trying to have a certain sign. People ask me that. No, that's not all I had. Forget it. Now. Okay. Do you have a secret pleasure like mines? Dunkin Donuts, iced coffee with chemicals in it as a sweetener? Do you really? When I was living in Santa Monica? I was living like right around the corner from where they opened dunkin donuts. I'm not even kidding. Starting at five in the morning, online around the block. And I was like, What is happening here? I did not realize the cult following. It's amazing. Because I used to have to only get it on the east coast and then when it opened here was life changing. I mean, I could not believe the line around the corner. Amazing. So do you have a secret pleasure sidecar doughnuts Have you been sidecar? Don't I have I have are amazing. And I have to be gluten free because I can't process gluten. But there are gluten free. Oh, I didn't know that. That's good to know. And I love is so bad. But like French fries are my downfall. Especially Broad Street or Eastern for people living in La broadstreet oyster and Malibu is like see, I'm like a brownie sugar person. My best friend lives in Malibu and like literally every time we leave there my part because he serves in front of the house. And like we're always there like Should we stop it? Yes, we should. Okay favorite beauty treatment but it doesn't even sound like you have them. Do you? Well, no, I'm very into like, things that smell good like oil. And like that kind of thing. And I use flower essences which I find incredibly healing. How do we find flower essences? Well Lexis smart is someone who has like a whole following around it. You can meet with a practitioner. Interesting. Okay. So I love flower essences. I mean I wear under eye concealer and I wear you know mascara. I really like the company say they're not paying me to say that. Oh yeah. Natural Beauty brand.

1:15:00

I love nucifera Do you know that brand? Yeah, I love products. Oh my god, I love product. My dad used to say I was a marketer's dream. I mean, I do love like, I love the aesthetic of the bottle. I mean, I'm the worst, right? It's like, I'll buy right into me to love anything that has like beautiful packaging and a beautiful scent. And I think Instagram is figure that out. Because like, every single thing that comes up is either like jewelry or makeup and like, Oh my god, I can't buy that. Oh my god. I can't buy another face oil. I can't have to use one diet. That works. I can't. Exactly Hi, I'm okay. So what whew, thing Have you not done, but you want to try? Oh, my God. That's a great question. Plant medicine. Yes, I haven't done either by I've done like the lightest lightest form of it. But I've never done a drug. And I know they're not drugs, but I've never done plant medicine. So yeah, I think about that. But I wouldn't want to do Iosco. I don't need that. But I just So is there anything you would want to do? I'm just trying to think of,

1:16:05

I usually try everything out? Because it's kind of my Yeah, that's your jam. That's why I rephrase the question. Because usually, it's what we think do you do and I'm like, wait, shit, she probably does everything. So I got to I have to rephrase the question. Do you know what I can't wrap my head around? That is my favorite thing on the planet is cranial sacral. And it makes no sense. I've ever done this. No, but I've read about it. I haven't done it. Like they're not even touching you. And that deep, deep relaxation that comes. It doesn't make any sense. Okay, so maybe that's on your list. Maybe we'll get started. I totally I just started working with flower essences. I hadn't. I really find their life changing. So I've just, I guess that's the new thing. I'm gonna have to look into that. And oh, you know what? I haven't done that. I have not found a practitioner yet. So if anyone knows of one I have not done past life regression. Interesting. Okay. I feel like you would have I know I haven't found anyone to do it with. I actually have someone for you. So welcome. Amazing. Okay. Okay. Favorite TV show or what you're watching now. Okay, right now we're in the middle of shits Creek. And it's the best thing that ever happened to me.

1:17:22

daughter loves that show. I'm like what's happening here? Oh my god. It is so incredible. exactly what I need my favorite show of all time, what a few but the one that anybody who knows me well will like laugh about is the American because I talked about it non stop when it was on air. I think it was a brilliant show. I didn't watch that. The subtlety of it. Especially after the first season. It is the whole thing is just I think I watched a couple episodes. And then I was like, uh, but I'll go back to it now. So that six feet under, and the West Wing. Okay, what was the last thing you ordered from Amazon? I don't order from Amazon. You don't? I know. I only order from independent stores. Wow. Okay.

1:18:10

$1 one vote. Wow. Okay. And my question was, was intuition naturally to you? Or did you have to work on it? But from our conversation earlier, it seemed like it was natural to you know, I mean, it was and then I shut it down. I've always had strong instincts like that. And it's strong. Like, like, when I moved to LA when I was 25. I was living in New York and I was supposed to move to LA I have no idea why any one person and I just moved across the country? Oh, yes. Okay, yes. What's the smallest thing we can do today to start our shift towards the self recreation? Notice your feelings is most of the time we hot potato them? We just go I'm just gonna throw them on someone out or I'm gonna blame. The reason I feel this is because drop the because, and focus on the feeling itself. I like that and feel the feeling. Okay. What would your bottom line advice be on finding the sweet spot in the second half of life? If you need to justify it or explain it, there's something there to explore. It's almost like looking at where I wish I could add like a fluffy, you know, just line but it's like, there's something about especially I think, more when we're younger, we feel the need to justify or explain whatever we're doing to give it meaning. And there's an opportunity, if you can hold it within yourself without needing to share it to everybody immediately. And explain it immediately. But also not from holding it in shame. That's the sweet spot. Oh, I just got the chills. I'm sure I could come up with one more ticket. If I were writing. It'd be more articulate email to me, we'll post it. We'll post here when this airs.

1:19:56

Okay, so we've shoveled through so many shitler

1:20:00

I hope everyone has loved Danny's golden life nuggets as much as I have. I've loved every minute of working with you personally. And on this podcast if listeners want to find you where can they find you? My website, Danielle Bernstein, calm or my Instagram, Danny pointed me perfect and your courses on your website. Yep. And I want everyone to think about what we can start doing today. And I want to thank my beautiful new friend Danny for giving me my astrological chart, her time insights and tools. So we can all continue to recreate ourselves and find our sweet spots. And hence this podcast, Danny Weinstein. Thank you so much for having me. This was such a joy. I've loved working with you. I've loved it. All right. I've at least haven't sweat through all of my deodorant. That's good. That's sort of like their barometer of today.

1:20:59

Alright, so thank you. Thank you so much. I'll talk to you soon. Bye. You too. Bye. Hi, it's me again, I listened to this episode with Danny Bernstein. So I could summarize the golden nuggets for you to have actionable items to start using today. Sit tight. They're a few minutes long, but it will take you through an entire summary. Number one, notice your feelings and thoughts. Learn to accept them and be okay with them. Ask yourself, do these thoughts serve me? Danny says the only thing we can control is our reaction to our experience. For example, as we've talked about before, COVID is happening. Your responses your choice? How do you respond to what's happening, right? It's not that you're meant to sit there like a rock and not have a response. But notice what comes up inside of you and say, is this serving me? Is there a real fear of getting sick? What am I doing? Am I taking precautions, and then I've done everything I can do and I have to realize that we are co creating our human experience with the world in the cosmos. Number two, constantly renegotiate things change, your dreams may change and plans change. But that is okay. As long as you are constantly shifting with these changes. This is super relevant with COVID. Danny says we had to learn to renegotiate as all of our plans have changed. Life is constantly changing. And we must learn to renegotiate our plans and ideas with what we had originally expected. Number three, surrender. This means high involvement, low attachment, do everything you can and let go. Just be okay with your effort. Danny says that we have to ask ourselves, what we can surrender to and what we can let go of and ask ourselves what we can do to actually contribute to a destiny where we have control. Danny defined surrender as not getting attached to outcome. So you do everything you can do. And then you have to let go. She explains that she has taught herself to let go of outcome three years of meditation practice. Number four, find your authenticity. Although this comes with age, it also comes with living honestly, not just in how you speak but how you think, feel and do. Danny says that just speaking what you think of or being honest, is not necessarily authenticity. She also says authenticity is our willingness to say, this is what really resonates with me. And this is how I shine in the world. And this is what moves me. And finally, number five, meditate. This is the foundation for all of these tools. Danny says that meditation allows us to think and notice our thoughts and feelings without reacting, just listening to them. It's a renegotiation with our thoughts and fears. The gold is dripping off these nuggets, grab them use them. resources and products mentioned in this episode are in the show notes. Go to the flexible neurotic.com share this episode with a friend and subscribe to the flexible neurotic podcast for more golden nuggets and great episodes.

1:24:21

Good peeps, thank you so much for listening. If you enjoyed finding our sweet spot today, and digging through layers of shit with your golden shovel, Subscribe, Subscribe, subscribe. DM me on Instagram at the flexible neurotic. Tell me which golden nuggets resonated with you. The ones that you're going to start using today to start getting your shit together to find our sweet spots. screenshot it, send it to a friend. This is Dr. Sarah Milken, the flexible neurotic, inspiring you to gather curate incorporate maybe even meditate.